True Blood Season 7 Ep 6– “Karma” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because! Oh and with Comic Con being last  weekend there was an AWESOME trailer for the upcoming final episodes shown ….. if you missed it you can check it out HERE.

Right then everybody ready because here we go and this week starts off in a pretty damn awesome fashion with Eric strolling down the hallways carrying the ripped out jaw of the Yukuza member he took down last week.  Of course life can’t be that easy and there are a bunch more waiting for him – all of which he takes out although you can see he is finding it a lot more of an effort that normal (but nothing like the failure to punch through a wall a couple of episodes ago …… sooo continuity issues or adrenalin rush??? Who the hell knows at this point but we get to see Eric being all well ….. Eric like lol so that is always fun). I did love his little pause to ask “Really?” before smashing up a few more of their little killer team but sadly this fun comes to an end when other team members bring a silvered Pam around the corner.  UGH really Pam?  Again? I know you can fight better than this!!!!!  Pam and Eric are escorted in some nifty looking cars to (what I assume to be) the Yokomoto headquarters where they are placed in a room with huge windows and a clock in front of them with a countdown to dawn.  As they are left there alone, presumably to meet the sun, Eric says to Pam “Our first Sunrise together” …. awwwwwww and they share a look and the opening credits roll.

One of the other big revelations last week at the end was Bill showing the first signs of Hep V.  That takes up a fair amount of time this episode and starts with him calling a lawyer to get his affairs in order.  Turns out this is quite a popular thing at the moment and so no appointments are available and so the only option he has is to go down and wait to be seen.   Jessica overhears this conversation but doesn’t confront him about it even when he says he will be leaving and won’t be back until late so not to wait up for him.  We get to follow Bill to the lawyers office which looks like a DMV waiting room with a take a number and wait system and the average wait time it 5-7 hours which will take them up until after sunrise.   Not having much other option as the tell tale black veins are already spreading Bill sits in for the long haul and we get to see that his Hep V is spreading at an alarming rate.  The nasty black veins are appearing more and more before our eyes.  Well that can’t be good! 

On the other side of town Lafayette is none to amused with Lettie Mae’s actions at the party and he takes her back to his house.  She tries to insist she needs to go home because the Reverend will be waiting but Lala is too smart to fall for that knowing that she gave him enough Benedryl to knock him out for hours.  When they get inside James is waiting and looking to take Lafayette up on his offer of a place to crash but things take a little turn with Lettie Mae ranting on about seeing Tara …. James is actually on HER side.  He says that Lafayette of all people should understand the doorways it can open and they come to an arrangement that while James goes off to bed for the day Lafayette and Lettie Mae will go on a V induced trip together.

 Now I want to take a little time out here for a bitch ….. not really relevant to anything other than my annoyance to continuity so feel free to skip to the next paragraph for episode only related info. People have been getting high off of V in this show since Season 1 with Jason and the trips we took then.  Now they have changed the rules so often it makes my head spin (if you use it for healing you don’t seem to get the effects …. unless you are Lettie Mae) …. if you drink a few drops for “finding purposes” again no fun effects ….. but a couple of weeks ago Lettie Mae swallowed a great deal more of Willa’s blood and had a very short induced little trip.  This week Lala and her take not much more than A DROP of James’s blood (and honestly he isn’t exactly a super vamp now is he???) and they trip for HOURS apparently.

OK Rant over … so yes off Lala and Lettie Mae go on their V Trip and they find Tara, back on the cross, and they get her down, and then she is gone and running through the forest (in a dress that looks suspiciously like one of the Maenad’s bridesmaid’s dresses from Season 2) and they find her at her old house crazily digging up random holes in the back yard like a crazy woman.  We don’t get to see WHAT she is digging for as Reverend Daniels chooses that moment to come to the house and shake them out of their little V trip.   Well Lettie Mae is none to thrilled with that and even Lafayette argues that Tara is trying to tell them something but the Rev has had enough and says she has to choose.  Well of course she chooses Tara but we have no idea at this point what that is going to mean.  To be continued next week I guess. 

So I am sure we all remember the Jason / Jessica / Violet issue from last week?  Well Violet starts this week with  whole new approach to things rather than KILL which has been her previous motto.  She decides the ultimate seduction is the way to go but even with that when Jessica calls Jason because she needs him to get Sookie so she can tell him about Bill he leaves to go to her.  Of course he thinks Violet is asleep at the time but once he leaves she goes mad and smashes everything up.  THERE is the Violet I have been expecting to see!  

Jason in the meantime has gone to get Sookie to take her to Jessica’s and they get the news that Jessica has discovered Bill is Hep V positive.  At first Jason won’t believe it but then Sookie realizes that when she scratched her arm with the big stick when she was playing bait she got drenched in Hep V Vamp goo and so it must be her.  They don’t want to believe it but it is off to the clinic they go for a blood test and promises to Jessica that they will let her know when they do.

Unsurprisingly the results are in and Sookie has Hep V and I am expecting that her weird Fairy blood is the cause for Bill’s symptoms and their rapid progress.  Guess Fairy blood isn’t good for everything after all! One good thing to come out of it all is that while they are waiting Jason decides he is going to break it off with Violet …. and when I say good I mean good viewing … obviously we ALL know Violet isn’t going to take that one lying down!

 Talking of Bill we see him still getting worse at the lawyer’s office and True Blood writers suddenly seem to remember that vampires during the day suffer from the bleeds. Oh well done them *rolls eyes* …. won’t even get started on that lack of continuity.  Any way  Bill finally gets to be seen and discovers that there are more problems for him than just his Hep V.  Under the law the will he has was made when he was “impersonating a human” and thus isn’t recognized as it was before vampires came out of the coffin.  As of right now, because of a law passed before the evil Governor Burrell lost his head, vampire progeny are NOT recognized as heirs and so his estate would pass to the government should anything happen to him.  Bill’s only recourse? Adopt Jessica legally and go that route …. which could take up to a year …. unless he wants to pay the lawyer $10 Million to expedite the process.   Bill tries to glamour her into skipping that but she only laughs, (as did I actually because really Bill? She is a lawyer that works with vampires all day … did you not think she would have those fancy contacts? … we will put that slip on your behalf down to the Hep V because your next actions amused me lol) ………. Bill’s next action was to stab her in the throat with a letter opener!! HA!!! Die greedy bitch Die!!!!  Even better he grabs a pencil as he leaves and takes out the vampire guard with it on his way out.  Well played Bill Compton … well played indeed!   He heads home to a waiting Jessica and Sookie who have been crying and it is obvious that they know.

Talking of  Bon Temps remember Jason’s warning to Adelyn and Wade? Well they chose to ignore it and are going for it right under Andy’s roof! Well that wasn’t smart and of course Andy catches them and sends a poor naked Wade running out into the yard with Andy chasing after him, Holly not far behind and Arlene screaming they are gonna wake the baby.   Andy wants to kill Wade, Holly looks like she wants to kill Andy and generally this is not good.  They all go their separate ways but we get to see Arlene and Holly head to Bellfleurs (yes remember that never actually got cleaned up? Well amazingly so did the writers) and they set to getting that place back ready to open and Arlene actually has some good advice.  When Andy comes by to apologize it is clear things aren’t going well but Arlene sends them off to TALK to the kids together.  Just one little problem with that …. when they get to the house the kids have gone!  Seriously? What did they expect? Andy …. well I can see why he didn’t get it but Holly really should have known better! I saw that coming a mile away.  Luckily for them they told Wade’s brother where they were going (Fort Bellefleur) but will they get there in time???   

Also in Bon Temps Nicole is being a pain in the ass and she wants to go “home” for good and she wants Sam to go with her. She basically calls the town crazy, Sam the mayor of crazy town and that he wants to be there crazier still.  Yes there was a whole lot of crazy being thrown around.  If it wasn’t for the fact that she was carrying Sam’s baby I would say good riddance! UGH she gets on my nerves!!! More wait and see stuff here too.

Now remember poor Pam and Eric trapped in a room? Well it turns out that some cowboy wanna be is now in charge of the Yokomoto corporation and he is broke!  Tru Blood is worthless and he wants to get his hands on Sarah Newlin and he thinks the dynamic duo can help.  Eric isn’t having any of it but with only minutes before sunrise Pam is thinking otherwise.  After a few minutes of Eric and Pam starting to burn (the main sticking point being that Eric wants to be the one to actually kill Sarah and Yoko guy not so keen) they come to a deal and our pair is safe ….. for now … and at sundown will be taking them all to Sarah’s sister’s house.  The only place Sarah could possibly go.

They were right, of course, and we get to see Sarah sneaking into her sister’s house during daylight only to be attacked by her sister.  Sadly her sister is too ill to really hurt her and ends up collapsing and coughing up blood before inflicting damage…. but the game is just beginning.   When Amber wakes back up Sarah lets her know that there was a cure.  A cure that Sarah drank all of making her now the only cure out there and she tells Amber to drink from her (Which honestly by the time Sarah had been halfway through the sentence if I was the sister I would have been biting already!).

We don’t get to see what happens but when Eric, Pam and the Yokomoto crew turn up at Amber’s house they see immediately that she is cured! Oh next week should be good! 

To finish up Jason goes home to tell Violet that things are over.  He gets himself all psyched up only to go in and discover that she isn’t there, the place is trashed and she has left a note saying that things aren’t working and goodbye.  Ummmmm what???  Oh don’t worry Violet hasn’t gone completely soft.  We see that she has tracked down Adelyn and Wade at Fort Bellefleur and convinces them to leave their phones and come with her because she knows a place where they can be alone and safe by telling them that with her fairy blood if she could find them the bad vamps could too.  Oh this isn’t going to be good.  Revenge is best in the sneaky way and taking the one thing that will hurt Jessica seems like a pretty good plan to me! 

And now we wait until next week which is looking like a more action packed ride. Adelyn and Wade are at the mercy of a crazy Violet, Eric and crew know that Sarah is their chance at a cure, and although we will have to deal with the inevitable Sookie and Bill drama I am OK with that. The game is well and truly on now.  Odds are changing with a cure now in play (honestly did anyone doubt that would happen?) and so who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (Although notable mention of Bill killing the lawyer and the vamp “guard” …. THAT was awesome! )

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

Eric and Pam sunrise

My Favorite Lines From “Karma”

  • Eric – “Our first sunrise together”
  • Pam – “I imagined my death many times but I never thought I would meet the sun in some place with wall to wall carpet”
  • Eric “When I find her I am going to wrap my hands around her neck and snap her little blonde bobble head”
  • Nicole – “This town is fucking crazy and you are the mayor of crazy!” 
  • Jason – “Bill was a bone fide vampire God not six months ago. ”
  • Arlene  – “Shit happens Holly – ya clean it up.”
  • Sookie – “Life’s too short to be with someone you don’t love.”
  • Amber – “You can’t just dye your hair, and blow a guru, and absolve yourself of all the horrific shit you have done in your life.”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 5 – “Lost Cause” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….and we are halfway through already :( ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Well I have to say, after last week’s enjoyment, this week was definitely not as good for me BUT it did have it’s moments and they are definitely setting up for something big …… “Good Big” or “Bad Big” … honestly? who the hell knows with this show but the twists and turns just keep on coming.

We start this week back at Fangtasia and Eric and Pam setting up to depart to hunt for the elusive Sarah Newlin.   Willa is none to thrilled with this plan and says (after a huge Mommy and Daddy issue rant) she has information that she will give them IF Eric releases her.  At this point I can only assume that Eric just doesn’t really care that much about Willa because he does it.  Me, personally, I would have had Eric laugh and just command her to tell him as he commanded her to go with them last week.  That little maker trick never gets old for me….. BUT this does allow Pam and Eric to road trip alone …… so be it!  Willa informs them about Sarah’s hidden vamp sister so off to Dallas our intrepid vamps go, courtesy of Anubis airlines and their nifty travel coffins (although as my husband pointed out … it is still NIGHT when they left…. could they not get in the coffins at the airport just before they fly???) ….. Well if they had we would have missed Ginger and her screaming!  She is none to thrilled by this turn of about yelling that she has been Eric’s sex slave for FIFTEEN YEARS …But without the sex!!!  She asks if they know what a sex slave is without the sex …. and Pam (LOVE HER) says .. A SLAVE!! Ha!! Poor Ginger.  She demands that Eric at least has sex with her before they leave but Eric begs off claiming he is infected to which Ginger replies SHE IS TOO!!! Ooooh Ginger that isn’t good :( but as to what relevance that will have we don’t find out this week as the last we see of her is her being unceremoniously dumped off the travel coffin as she screams after Eric. Could that be the last time we get to hear the now infamous Ginger screaming? Guess we will have to wait and see …. Roll opening credits!

The episode picks up where it then spends most of the rest of the hour.  In Sookie’s house.  She is feeling lost and alone and spies what we assume is Alcide’s leather jacket on the chair and she finds Lafayette and James waiting for her. Lala puts her to bed and assures her that he and James will take care of the house and make it respectable for Jackson arriving the next day.  Sookie sleeps right through to the next evening but when she comes downstairs things aren’t quite what she would expect.   Everything is set up for a PARTY!  Yes you read that right!  Jackson and Jenny (well Jenny really) have been prepping all day and they plan on having the whole town over to “celebrate” Alcide’s life rather than “mourn” his passing.  Sookie doesn’t look too impressed but when Bill turns up with flowers (because he had no alcohol at his house which was required as per the invite) she changes her mind and goes to get all dressed up. 

Lettie Mae is annoying as ever and wants to go to the party but the Reverend is smart and knows there will be booze and vamp blood there so it is a no go for Lettie Mae.  That doesn’t stop her though as she doses him up with Benedril (allergy meds) to put him to sleep she can go and do whatever the hell she has it into her crazy head this week needs to be done.

At Sookie’s the party is in full swing an even Bill is dancing … if you can call it that (definitely debatable).  The girls that escaped the Hep V Vamps are having  a blast (except Nicole who is pregnant and can’t drink and seems a little put out by all the weird behavior …. we find out later she is a LOT put out by it all….. isn’t it about time she got killed off …. she’s annoying and you know her and Sam won’t be living HEA) ….. anyway sidetracked … so yes everyone is partying including Jane Bodehouse and that sets Bill off into one of several “Civil War Flashbacks”.   

Now Bill flashbacks (for the most part) are boring and annoying at the best of times but at least normally there is some kind of point that I can fathom out from them.  This weeks flashbacks all seem to center around the same point.  Bill didn’t want to be a part of the Civil War.  He didn’t want to fight, he knew the South was going to lose, and he was more interested in helping the slaves.  UMMMMMM WHAT??????????  So this is a whole new backstory for Bill after SIX SEASONS with NO HINT that he was not a firm believer fighting for the South.  In fact we have been lead over and over to respect what a “Fine Southern Gentleman War Hero” he was and NONE of this rubbish has been entertained.   We see one of the slaves he befriended and was trying to help escape get shot, we see his wife desperately trying to support him and convince one of their *Friends* (fellow noble at least) not to kill him and instead he has to enlist.   All very strange and pretty seemingly pointless and just taking up air time.  I am assuming they are going to somehow link this back to the “Hopeless Hep V War”???? that they are now fighting but UGH definitely wasted air time in my opinion.  The only link so far is that each of the flashbacks has had the ancestor of a current character triggering them.  Blah!

In the middle of the party we stop for a little memorial speech from Jackson which I suppose was nice but really should have been at a funeral.  He says that Sookie was worth it otherwise Alcide wouldn’t have fought for her,  Once we get through that Lettie Mae turns up and Lala tries to get her to leave but she just wants to talk and Sookie lets her (because Sookie is just always soooo nice …. personally I would be on the “get the hell out of my house platform” ) and so we get her remembrance speech about Tara … which STILL ends up pretty much being about her!  Ugh will someone PLEASE kill her already.  I have been over her storyline since season 1 and things haven’t improved. 

Jessica and Andy have a talk outside and Andy makes Jess realize that she is making it harder on him by constantly punishing herself because it won’t let him move on.  When she agrees to help he then says that he is going to propose to Holly …. right there at the party! Now really anywhere else this would probably be a little inappropriate but here it just kinda worked.  We ended up with a really sweet scene…… Sookie let’s Andy use Nan’s ring (which apparently technically was left to Jason but Violet starts by being nice … she doesn’t need a ring …. but then shows her true colors asking “that’s it??” which everyone ignores and is the completely OPPOSITE reaction to Jessica who is gushing away ….. hmmmmmm that isn’t good ) … and off we go for a proposal.  Definitely cute right down to Jason dropping a cushion on the floor for Andy to kneel on that everyone around just ignores.  Even the proposal is done in typical Andy fashion with Holly working it out and saying Yes and then Andy getting flustered and saying she has to wait for him to ask.  Loved it.  BUT my favorite bit was Jason.  He sees Adelyn and Wade and tells them that he doesn’t know if they are fucking or not but it is going to have to stop … right now.   AWESOME!!!! Poor kids looked mortified :D.   Jessica finally looks happy and James wants to take advantage of the moment but Jess wants to stay and party and calls James a wet blanket.  Uh oh … We all know where that is leading.

Sookie is not coping so well with “this much living” and goes upstairs with Arlene for a nice little heart to heart where Arlene says that at night she used to wear Terry’s jacket and pretend it was him.  Uh huh!! Suddenly the jacket at the beginning makes sense….. some more continuity.  Well done writers! We see Jackson lurking outside listening ….. which makes no sense at the time but all will become clear at the end.   Arlene and Sookie are drunk and return the to party and we see Keith again.  Remember Keith … the vamp that saved Arlene? Well there is obviously chemistry there and he references the lovely sexy dreams she has been having.  Hmmm we didn’t get to see them… oh wait yeah … I don’t care.   It was obvious they were going to have a little thing so they might as well get on with it …. but not this week.    

Lafayette goes outside to talk to James and well I am pretty sure everyone can guess what happens next.  Damn those two are so cute together but ummmmm James on the bottom???? I did NOT see that coming.  Totally figured it would be the other way round …. hmmmmmmm lots of thought about that over night and it is STILL bothering me.  Guess James is more of a sub than I pegged him for.  Shame.  Makes him less hot in my book *sigh* ….. oh well …….  Back to the story though and the worst possible outcome happens …… Jessica catches them … full on at it … IN THEIR CAR!! Oh Jessica … really??? What did you expect …. you have been ignoring him for MONTHS now …. but Jessica runs into the house … right near Jason and gets him to rescind James’s invitation leaving him stuck outside.  Jess runs upstairs and Violet gives Jason permission to go after her. Ummmmm not your brightest move there Violet I must say!  

Lafayette joins them a couple of minutes later and points out and that she needs to let him be with someone who loves him if she doesn’t.  Fair enough but we know this is going to cause problems later …….  Jessica and Jason …. alone …. again ….. hmmmmm

Sookie goes looking for Bill and is wandering around with her drunken reduced inhibitions allowing her to “hear” all the nice things people are thinking at the party…. she finds him outside and they share a moment and Bill is wondering about the whole “friends” thing.  This was not done in his time and if we are honest we all know that he loves her.  I am torn because I almost think they belong together (as much as Bill has annoyed me the last few seasons) ….. the last few episodes I see glimpses of the S1 relationship that I loved…. maybe I am getting soppy because the end is so near and I am not quite ready to say goodbye despite the total train wreck it has at times become *sigh*.   OK enough of that (I blame the music) ……. back to the story ……. so Bill goes home and Sookie returns to the party  ……

Just in time to find Lettie Mae who is thinking about Willa and blood and seeing Tara. See we all knew she should have just been thrown out when she first turned up. She NEVER has good motives and she STABS WILLA through the shoulder with a serving knife!! CRAZY BITCH!!! Lafayette comes to which the crazy Lettie Mae away while everyone tries to defuse the now fanged out vampires and are succeeding pretty well until Nicole (UGH did I mention I can’t stand her) get’s up and points out that everyone there is nuts and that “normal” people don’t carry on like this in other towns.   Maybe someone should give her the past 6 seasons to sit through and she would see that really, in the grand scheme of things, this is pretty mild.  Ship her off somewhere Sam …. we all know you have TERRIBLE taste in women!!  She is no good for you .. baby or no baby!!! Possibly the funniest reaction is Jenny (Jackson’s bit of stuff laughing in the corner at it all) … redneck trash to the end that one :D.  So Nicole takes off to go home with Sam and Violet offers to make sure they get home safely.

Now we have Jason and Jessica alone in a room … AND Violet out of the house …. so no prizes for guessing what happens next!! Yes Jessica and Jason are back on …. well at it anyway.  Sex in a chair and they must still have the no full nudity clause for Jessica because we are still not getting a topless shot of her.  Sorry guys :(.  Violet returns while they are in full swing and we are all waiting for the inevitable fireworks and fight ……. but they don’t come! Ummmmm what???  Excuse me???? Violet, after all her threats etc is just going to walk away … Ummmmmmm OKAY????    There has to be more going on that this!  (We actually see in the previews for next week she has decided to fight fire with fire but personally I would prefer fireworks …… bring on the fight!!!) …… sooooo there you have it ….. Weird! 

Away from the party (Which yes I told you took up basically the WHOLE episode),  you have the other (more interesting) storyline of Eric and Pam and the hunt for Sarah Newlin.  They arrive in Dallas and find Amber Mills (Sarah’s sister) and discover she too is a victim of Hep V with the tell tale black veins everywhere.  We learn that Jeremy (Her vampy boyfriend that turned her) has already died and she is just waiting for the same fate but she is happy to take Sarah with her and tells them that Sarah is here in Dallas and will likely be at an upscale political Gala where her parents plan to attend … and Eric and Pam plan on being there!

They are getting ready for the Gala and Pam is all dressed up like a “replublicunt” HA!!! when she tells Eric to strip so he can get ready ….. and we see that his Hep V has spread.  He is now in what they call “Stage 2″ (this week anyway .. they are REALLY making these Hep V rules up as they go along) and there is another amazing Eric and Pam moment where he tells her she has to accept he is going to die.  I’m with you Pam!!! Don’t accept it!!! Scriptwriters can find a way to make this right!!! DAMNIT!!!!!  Eric has Pam cover up the ones that will be visible but we don’t get to see Eric’s outfit until the Gala and oh it is worth the wait!!! Cowboy Eric!!! Too Funny!!! Oh it reminds me of Season 2 ….. back in Dallas again … the good parts of S2…. not the weird crazy egg ritual / meat tree type parts lol. 

Pam and Eric embark on their mission to find Sarah via her parents and have made it into the Gala but Pam thinks all the women look the same so is unamused at having to find the mother.  Eric glamours the father but he knows nothing ….. meanwhile we see Sarah find her mother in the ladies room and her mother is not too thrilled to see her.  It doesn’t really matter though because while all this is going on the Yokomoto Samari crew (also known as the Yukuza) are back and are taking out EVERYONE at the party.  Seriously these are the worst group of hired security guards at this party EVER!  One of them doesn’t even have his gun pulled as it is all going down. He deserves to get shot.  Then again they are not discriminating ….. if you are there, and in the way, you are dead.  Kill all the Republicans seems to be the plan of the day for them.  We see Sarah’s father get shot in the head as he doesn’t know where Sarah is (Eric has disappeared at this point) and then we see the Yukuza head towards the bathrooms.  They chase Sarah and her mother and it looks like her mother is about to have a heart attack so Sarah leaves her and not a moment too soon as the Yukuza round the corner and shoot the Mom a few times so no need to worry about the heart attack.  

Sarah runs right into Eric who grabs her by the throat in her moment of panic.  Suddenly the yukuza are right there, the same group that killed his beloved Sylvie so after dropping Sarah he stabs them with their own swords and then rips his teeth out ….no literally …. hand in face and pulls out his whole jaw as the guy dies and walks down the hallway.  AWESOME!!!!! However, fun as that is I don’ think this will be the end of that battle …. to be continued (There were a LOT of those Yukuza guys there)

Back in Bon Temps and the party is over and Sookie heads up to bed to find the jacket from earlier laid out waiting for her.  AHA! So THAT was why Jackson was lurking around there.  Bless …. I suppose that’s quite sweet really.  So Sookie curls up in that and cries herself to sleep while over in the Compton manor Bill is taking a bath …. I know right …. random much? So he gets out and wipes the video and the music is cued up and we are all waiting …. Will Sookie suddenly be behind him …. will it be some bad guy waiting to kill him, Well????? NOPE!!! Worse!!!! Right in the center of his chest we see it ….. the markings of the start of Hep V!!! AHHHHHHHHHH  Now at this point the ONLY person I can remember Bill feeding off recently is Sookie??? What am I missing here???? UGH!!!! Annoying …… lots of things to ponder … well I suppose it takes my mind off of why James was on the bottom ………..

And now we wait until next week!!! On the plus side I have to say I am LOVING the use of the season 1 character soundtrack this season.  It feels right to me and I adore it although it almost pushes home the finality of it and that makes me sad.  Only 5 more episodes and I have no idea what they have in store…. but obviously the whole Hep V thing in our main characters is about to get upped to a while new level.   Who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (lot’s of death but none of it main cast)

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

Eric and Sarah

My Favorite Lines From “Lost Cause”

  • Pam  (To Amber) – ”I like her …. I like you” … Amber – “is it alright if I haven’t made up my mind about you yet”  Pam “Yeah .. I really like her!”
  • Eric – ”You don’t know us sweetheart – we can be assholes”
  • Violet- “I have had about 100 boyfriends die on me over the years and I remember how painful the first ones were”
  • Jackson – ”You can’t die a hero if you don’t have a righteous cause” 
  • Jason – “I don’t know if you all are fucking or not but if you are it is going to have to stop … right now
  • Pam – “Oh My God …… I’m a Republicunt!!!!!”
  • Sookie – “You might wanna dial down your sexy a notch” 
  • Arlene  – “I have to go make tinkle ….. because you know … I am a human!”
  • Sookie – “Thank you for seeing me the way I can’t see myself sometimes”
  • Pam – “How??? All these bitches look the same???”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 4 – “Death Is Not The End” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? I warn you …. this is a long one ….. Right then here we go!! Wow can you believe we are on the 4th episode already? That means we are almost halfway through.  Not liking that.  Neither did I really care for the beginning of this week’s episode, which was of course dealing with the big death last week.  We have Sookie calling Jackson to tell him his son is dead and then (far more moving) we have Jason calling Hoyt to tell him that Maxine has passed.  Poor Hoyt …. and poor Jason <3.  They did a really good job here what with Jason having grown up with Hoyt but Jessica’s glamour still working its vampire magic. Awwwwwww. Wonder what will happen when he comes back to Bon Temps.  I guess we will see ……… After the phone call Jason has decided he is done with everything but Sookie gives him the “Man Up” speech because Andy is gone (to look after Holly) and so he is all that is left.  Well who would have thought THAT would have been the case 6 seasons ago???  ***Opening Credits ….. I still love this song ………***

As with most episodes, by far the best thing in it were the moments with Eric and Pam and in particular the flashbacks.  I am loving getting more of their history together, especially when it involves 80’s and 90’s flashbacks.  Oh the memories …. but I digress ….. We start on a plane with Eric and Pam heading to Baton Rouge because Pam has decided that is where Sarah is likely to have reached out.  Eric is not amused by this and stops feeding on the lovely Air Hostess to demand they go to Shreveport to get Willa.   Eric and Pam are so great with the way they play off each other but Eric lets it slip that he is dying which Victoria (pretty Air Hostess) is unamused about as she is now going to lose her job.  I know it’s wrong but I LOVE that neither Eric nor Pam care one bit!! YES!!! This is the Eric and Pam we want to see.  The looks they share, their chemistry is just awesome…..  I love them!  

We now get the first of several flashbacks but as they are all related and are BY FAR the best bit of this entire episode I am going to put them all together …. because honestly? I want to lol.

Remember last week Pam and Eric got taken by the Yokomoto corporation after they dispensed with Sylvie back in 1986?  Well this flashback picks up right after that with Pam and Eric being “released” in Shreveport in a parking lot that will look very familiar to all the fans.  Yes this is where they get Fangtasia. But wait …… it is not the Fangtasia we know and love …. it is …. a VIDEO RENTAL STORE lmao!!! Complete with extra porn section in the basement!!!   Oh Pam is so disgusted by the whole thing it is hilarious!! We get to meet The Magister (remember him) and we learn that he made Eric Sheriff (Something Eric actually looks rather pleased about) because he wants to be able to keep an eye on him.  They learn that this punishment (running the store) is basically a forever thing at this point and when The Magsiter tosses Pam the keys she ignores them as they smack her in the chest and fall to the floor.  Oh it was so well done!! Bravo!!!  Now pay attention here …. The Magister throws out that there is an abandoned, walled up tunnel behind the basement …… FULL OF HISTORY he says ….. but that will be VERY important later.   ****OK mini side rant here ….. do we have different writers doing the flashback things?  They are so awesome with the details and the remembering things, and adding in little “extras” …. where is that in the MAIN show??? Hmmmmmm??? Continuity has just LEFT THE BUILDING with pretty much everything else…….. UGH OK I’m done for the moment … back to the flashbacks …..****

We jump to 1996 and poor Pam is STILL stuck working in that horrid little video store which is now upgrading to DVDs.   In walks a nerdy looking brunette with a list of obscure vampire movies she wants to watch.  Pam is actually impressed and the selections and half listens as the girl goes on and on about the course she is taking about monsters being misunderstood.   Suddenly out walks Eric …. in full 90’s boy band style ….with the background music of “I would die for you” …..  LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!!! And then I realize …. IT’S GINGER!!!! HA!!!! Without the blonde hair and minus the screaming I didn’t see it at first….. and well she just about dies …. right there on the spot.  Jaw on the floor …. ummmmm yes that might have been my reaction too …. WOW …. ummmmm where was I ……. oh yes so Ginger meets Eric and decides she wants to work there … and well the rest is history ….. actually we get a little more history …. and I LOVE it!!

Fast forward to 2006 and the vamps are coming out of the coffin and we see Ginger (looking much more like the Ginger we all know) getting out of a hearse, with a big chair, and heading into the video shop where they are still working.   Pam is waiting for her and is unamused by the chair until Ginger lays out the whole plan for Fangtasia, right down to Eric sitting up on the throne we all know and love.  Pam loves the idea …. and totally steals is – glamouring Ginger into thinking it was Pam’s idea in the first place.  Awesome!!!!!   Flash forward to Eric and Pam back on the plane and Eric is smiling and lovingly calls Pam a Bitch ….. but she says “but you still love me” ….. and he looks at her and just says “always”.  Awwwwwwww <3 such a look. Just perfect!!!  I’m telling you I would watch a whole series just about these too!!!! FANGTASTIC!!!! 

Right then back to the rest of what is going on …….. Sookie, Jason, and Sam head over to see Andy and Holly and find Coby and Lisa who Sookie decides to go talk to.  Lisa is moaning that everyone is treating them like they are stupid but they know things are wrong.  After a heart to heart with the (now not so little) kids Sookie promises that she will bring their Mom back.  UGH Stupid Sookie!!! You know better than to make promises like that! Especially with the kill count this season.   Anyway Sookie knows that Holly knows what happened and that it was just glamoured away so Sookie heads in to fix that. Remember her little trick with the Black Eyes back in Season 2? Yup she can MAKE you remember and she does just that with Holly.  Oh it isn’t pretty and leaves Holly a snivelling mess for poor Andy to deal with but they don’t have time for that!! Sookie does leave him with a piece of advice ….”We like to be held”…. well OK then!!!  So they know where the survivors are and they have a plan! Well Sookie has a plan …. she is going to Bills …. in the middle of the day ….. Jason and Sam …. they have to go tell Rosie that Kevin is dead.

Staying with Jason and Sam for a moment, Sam has a little melt down and thinks he is going to go to Fangtasia now and rescue Nicole (STUPID SAM!!!!!) but Jason manages to stop him (by threatening to shoot him in the head) and they eventually get to Rosie’s and she is not happy to see them and even less happy with the news.  She makes them promise that they will avenge Kevin which, of course, they promise to do.

Over at Bill’s house Jessica and James are fighting over the fact that Jessica isn’t healing because she isn’t eating.  Apparently it has been months.  Hmmmmm they do like to change how long these vamps can go without feeding.  James goes to get Bill and Bill tries to convince her but is not doing a very good job.  Sookie turns up in the middle of it all and decides that Jessica can feed off of her.  Jessica isn’t amused because as she points out Sookie is a fairy but Sookie says she trusts her.   Sookie gets Bill and James to leave and then lays one of the best guilt trips on Jessica that I have heard in ages.  Basically Sookie doesn’t care what is going on with Jessica and her life but she needs help and Sookie has been good to Jessica so Jessica needs to suck it up and help her!   Amazingly THIS WORKS but she won’t feed off Sookie and so they send for James’s human … the wonderful Lafayette!!!! 

This leads to a wonderful scene! Nelson Ellis is OUTSTANDING this week with just the right amount of sass, sympathy, and use of the word “Hookah” to convince Jessica that he is a bad person too.  He misses Jesus and it is OK not to be perfect and not to forgive yourself but you have to keep going.   Add to that the looks that James and Lala share and yes I will admit it. My heart melted.  Awwwww <3.  Sorry Jessica I am routing for them to hook up….. the sooner the better. 

Sookie is plotting with Bill but he points out that generally the vampires around are not really going to be invested in going to a fight at Fangtasia with the H Vamps.  They have everything to lose and nothing to gain.  When asked why he is going he explains it is because he owes Sookie everything.  You know Bill …… when you act like season 1 Bill you aren’t so bad after all.  So Sookie decides Bill needs to eat ……because he needs to be at his strongest to fight ……. but  you know personally I think Sookie just wanted a good bite.  Obviously missing it having been with a wolf for 6 months.  Guessing a wolf bite wouldn’t be so appealing lol

So night has fallen and the troops have gathered to plan their attack.  Hmmmm troops might be a tad optimistic sounding as we have Sookie, Bill, Jason, Sam, Jessica, James, Violet, and 2 of James’s band mates (also vamps) Michael and Keith. Jason tries to give a rousing speech but compares it to Normandy and obviously doesn’t get much response as Normandy left beaches stained with allied blood ….. but fear not!! Eric and Pam have arrived.  Obviously looking for Willa (well on the pretense of looking for Willa) and Pam bitches that Sookie is there.  Glad to see that they are at least consistent with that but Eric does listen and “calls” Willa.  Eric, however, obviously still loves Sookie and takes a moment alone with her to discover what trouble she has gotten herself into this time.  He is appropriately disgusted about her “wolf” relationship but drops it when he sees she is hurting.  The time between them is touching and you can see how much Eric still cares and it would seem Sookie does too.  Perhaps the triangle is about to come back.  I was sure the writers were heading towards Sookie and Bill ….. but who knows.  Hmmmmmm need to ponder that. Also need to ponder the lack of Eric or Pam making any kind of negative comment to Jason about Sarah being alive.   Pam may secretly be grateful at this point as it is fueling Eric’s will to live …. but Eric … he looked pissed last week.  I can’t believe there wouldn’t even be a passing jibe??? Ugh!  Damn Writers!

Willa arrives and is not a happy babyvamp.   She wants to talk about her abandonment NOW!!! But Eric has other plans and uses the old fail safe “as you maker I command you” trick and later it is :D

So off to battle they go …. the crew above with the additions of Eric, Pam, and Willa but Eric actually has a plan.  Remember that bricked up tunnel?  Well they are going to bust in and rescue the prisoners that way!!  Awesome!!! Except when they get there Eric has pretty much lost all his strength and after a pitiful few attempts Bill smashes down the wall in one punch …. ummmmm NO!!!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! UGH!!! That is SO WRONG!!! On SOOOOOOO many levels wrong!!!! So let me ask you this? If H Vamps are so weak even in the early stages (he is level 1) and HE has just FED well and recently …… why the hell are the other vamps any problem at all?? You have a shifter and a bunch of healthy vamps?  What the hell writers???? Make your mind up!!!! STUPID!!!!!

Anyway Sam goes in first (as a rat) and transforms and freaks Arlene and Jane (which is mildly amusing …. although I would have had Arlene making a comment about Sam being naked ….. but maybe that is me being a perv) ……. so prisoners found Sam lets them know that vamps are coming in to rescue them and they need to TRUST them.  The 3 prisoners are not too amused but seriously at this point what choice do they have? Well as Sam scurries back off as a rat it would seem that they might be too late for one of them because here comes an H Vamp and he is hungry!!  Back at the tunnel entrance it is decided that Pam and Bill will go rescue the humans (because Eric is so week) but by the time they get there Arlene is already upstairs about to be eaten.   The other 2 saved Bill decides to go after Arlene but Pam gives him a couple of words of advice …… not to try too hard to be a hero .. because she says it is never going to happen with Sookie the way he wants … not tonight …. not ever.  Hmmmmmm foreshadowing?  Certainly interesting to say the least. 

But Bill is not the only one with a plan.  Eric has decided to go through the front door, claiming he needs asylum and he brings his own human (no prizes for guessing who that is …..) Now apparently despite their apparent apathy previously, these H Vamps do have a thing for fairy blood after all ….. not that they know what it is but it is Sookie smelling so good that tempts them to let him in.   Arlene is close to death on the table and Eric is trying to buy time with the crazy H Vamps who amazingly enough all seem together enough to hold it together for this little chit chat.  Come on cavalry where are you??

Oh wait …. unexpected help? Problems? Ummmm a bit of both really as the remainder of the “Wanna be Justice League Crew” (Wanna be Mayor, Kenya, Rosie, annoying mouthy girl, and another guy along with a few others ) pull in to the parking lot armed with a Molotov cocktail. FIRE!!!! Just as our hero team is coming up the back way.  Well all hell erupts.  As the vamps go flying out the front door a bunch are picked off by the “Wanna Be League” all armed with guns and wooden bullets until a few break through to kill most of the humans off (yup none of you will be missed).   This gives the other vamps time to get out the back way and we get to see a matrix style, all hell break loose battle between the vamps and it seems that all the H Vamps get killed off and our team escapes unscathed.

That being said Sookie is trapped inside a burning Fangtasia with a dying Arlene and Eric unable to help as his infected blood (I’m assuming) is no good for healing.  She tells him to get a “Healthy” vamp.  Now why he doesn’t just “Call” Willa is anybody’s guess …… but he doesn’t …. instead he’s about to leave when Bill appears and stakes a rogue H Vamp by ripping off one of the handles from behind the bar (Season 1 Longshadow anyone????).  Pam comes in with a fire extinguisher and deals with the fire issue and gets a wonderful look from Eric (I am telling you this week was just full of them) and then she hears them outside about to throw in another flaming bottle and rushes out, snatches the bottle and sets the guy on fire.  Awesome!! 

Bill is about to give Arlene his blood when he feels Jessica in trouble so leaves to help her and Eric comes to the rescue bringing Keith.  Now Arlene is seeing Terry and hearing Terry (although for a moment Terry is the evil H Vamp but Jason shoots that one … well done Jason)  and for a moment I really thought that Arlene was about to be the next victim of this season’s slaughter run as we get to see Terry too but he tells Arlene to stay and she starts to come round.  Now she shares a little look with Keith the vampire.  Hmmmmmmm is that going to be something I wonder.  Lots to think on this episode.

We end with it being confirmed that all the H Vamps are in fact goo.  And judging by the number of bodies it looks like all the “Wanna be Justice League” are dead too with the main cast notables being Kenya and Rosie.  Pam is shouting for Eric and for a moment you wonder if perhaps he is one of the goo piles and we missed it ….. but fear not.  Eric is in a car eating Rosie.   Well Rosie there were worse ways you could have died.  Eric returns to the bar and shares a beautiful look with Sookie ….. and the credits roll …… 

And now we wait until next week!!!  Only 6 installments left…. but already things seem to be wrapping up faster than I would have expected so I am hoping they will focus on the hunt for Sarah and hopefully a cure for Eric?!  Who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Kenya
Rosie

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

Eric 90s

My Favorite Lines From “Death Is Not The End”

  • Jackson – ”He loved the fuck out of you Sookie”
  • Pam – “I’m sorry …. did we fuck and I blocked it out”
  • Eric- “Welcome to our shithole”
  • Bill – “I Owe You Everything”
  • Lafayette – “Step aside Hookah ….. give a real hookah a shot”
  • Pam – “Ginger – look at yourself and look at me …. who has better taste?”
  • Ginger – “Eric Northman is nothing if he isn’t fucking  sex on a throne” 
  • Eric – “Pam tells me you wrote a book where you claim no longer to be an asshole …. is it true?”
  • Pam – “She’s like a fucking fungus that just won’t go away”
  • Eric – “You will not drink her blood …. you will sip it … like a nice glass of barbaresco”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 3 – “Fire In The Hole” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right then here we go!! After last week’s extremely annoying day set episode this week is much more interesting and action packed mainly because it all happens at night and so we get to see our vamps!! YAY!! And not just the H Vamps either!!!  Some awesome Eric and Pam action coming up!!

The episode starts though in California … ummmmm WHAT??? At a Yoga class hosted by Guru Sanbir Dutta (Nope that isn’t going to be important at all but hey I figured out the name so figured I would share lol) and guess who is taking the class … a Miss Sarah Newlin!  Yes she’s back everyone!! Complete with dyed hair and a new name (Newmi lol) and keeping with her typical theme of sleeping with the power people (in this case Guru Sanbir who is all about hot bodies and being in the “now” with “yourself”).   More about those shenanigans later! (Opening Credits Go Here)

After the credits we go to Eric and Pam … YES This is what we all want to see …. well OK what I want to see anyway ……. And Pam is demanding to know how long Eric has had the disease and is very unimpressed that he has given up.  Eric lets us know that it has been about a month but after everything for him this is the end.  He admits he didn’t get it on purpose but he didn’t try not to get it either.  I love Eric and Pam! I love that she never gives up on him even telling him that she has searched the whole planet for him and that she would have continued.  This actually amuses Eric who claims that she wouldn’t have found him if he hadn’t been sick but the smile belies otherwise.  This is by far one of my favorite Maker / Child relationships ever.  Pam confirms that Tara is in fact gone as she felt her die while she was in Morocco (Well strike one for me ….. I was sure she was still around.  DAMN) … anyway they share another moment about playing “the Bucket Game” and things are just lovely.  You know I could watch a whole show just with these two ……. screw all the other storylines!.   Pam says that Eric’s moping can’t all be about Godric and Nora .. or even Sylvie … Ummmmmm WHAT NOW??? Who is Sylvie?? Oh never mind we get a flashback to answer that question … in fact we get a series of flashbacks over the show so I will put them all in to one ready to go flashback recap …

Flashback recap – France 1986 (Based on the Fact that Pam was turned in 1905 and she states they have been together 81 years)

Eric is having a nice little fling with the lovely French Sylvie, daughter of Vineyard owner.  She knows he is a vampire and we have some wonderful sex, naked Eric, and biting.  Yup this episode is definitely better than last weeks :D ….. It would appear that Eric is more than a little smitten with Sylvie …… and is not happy to be interrupted from his moonlight naked frolicking  by non other than Nan Flannigan!!! Ha ….. welcome back Nan we missed you!  Sent by none other than Nora no less.   Well Eric and Pam are in a lot of trouble for not playing by the vamp rules.  (LOVE 80’s Pam!).  They didn’t check in with the sheriff, they aren’t being especially discreet and with Tru Blood about to be released by the Yakinomo  corporation (Some nice mainstreaming references to the drink that remind me of S1 here) and The Authority need them to start behaving.  Pam is her wonderful self telling Nan that she doesn’t like you.  Nan replies under other circumstances she thinks they could be friends but after Pam looks at her shoes and agrees Nan goes back to being her normal bitchy self and points out these are NOT other circumstances.   As usual Pam realizes the gravity of the situation first and agrees to behave but Eric is more interested in Sylvie (really?? She’s not THAT great … maybe she has a trace of Fae in her to make her taste extra yummy) and tells the Nan and the people she represents to “Go “Fuck Themselves”.  Hmmm that might not have been his brightest move.  Pam is worried after Nan leaves but Eric vows to protect her.

Still in France we see Pam having fun with a French Fluzy of her own but things are about to go very wrong as a team of warriors head into their building.  Next thing we hear is Pam yelling to Eric (who is busy in the yard doing some very bad things with Sylvie … Sexy Eric twice in one episode … yummy) and Eric is really not happy about the interruption until he turns to see that she is Silvered (silver choke collar) held by several Japanese warriors with a Silver blade at her throat .  He works out quickly that  they mean business but concludes that if they were going to kill them they would have done it already.  He tries attacking one as they grab Sylvie but the threat to Pam is too much.  When he finds out they were sent by the Yakinomo corporation he tries to bribe them but this fails too. They are on a mission.  We learn that the Authority wants Eric alive so killing him is not an option and they demand, even after he agrees to their demands, that either Sylvie or Pam has to die. Poor Eric looks heartbroken when they won’t let him die instead and Pam and Eric change the most amazing look and he says Pam lives.  Awwwwwww <3   Sorry Sylvie, time’s up and her end is swift and final with a sword through the gut with a sad smile from Eric and he falls to his knees only to be dragged away silvered along with Pam.  Guess we will learn about that later. ***End Flashback***

Eric seems resigned and nothing Pam is saying is having much reaction until suddenly she mentions Sarah Newlin and lets Eric know she is Alive.  Jason never killed her and Pam is going after her.  This lights Eric fire and now he is MAD and they are going to find her together!! ooooh YAY!!! Welcome back Eric!!! Was worried you were going to be all pathetic this season for a minute! I am not convinced they will save the character but at least he may go out with a bang!!!! Bring on the road trip (Oh wait that won’t be at least until next week … well at least there is something to look forward to!!

Back in Bon Temps Alcide has finally realized that Sookie is gone and is not a happy bunny … well wolf I suppose … and he sniffs her out (Yup literally ….I know …. THAT’s ATTRACTIVE) … over to Bill’s house where he is really mad and smashes down the door.  Sadly for Alcide, Sookie has other plans and has convinced Bill she has a plan and they have taken off in Bill’s car so she can play vampire bait for the H Vamps and not tell anyone else what’s going on.  Of course we all know that Bill just wants her back so he will go along with pretty much anything at this point.   Now don’t get me wrong, I know many people are all anti Bill/Sookie but I kinda like this whole back to season 1 vibe they are playing.  At this point I can’t stand the wolf, Sam is annoying, and well I have pretty much always figured she didn’t deserve Eric after the way she treated him …… so Bill works for me.  If this is the direction it ends in I am fine with it.   There were some cute moments with Bill up in a tree “keeping watch” as Sookie sits there wondering why the H Vamps are taking so long to get to her.  A couple of “moments” are shared but perhaps the most noticeable one is when she says she knows Alcide loves her more than she loves him. Well DUH!!!! We can all see you love Bill more than him and you claim to pretty much hate him half the time.  Alcide was the “safe” option and  she knew it.  So anyway that is what is going on with them while Alcide is running around in wolf form trying to track them down.   See Sookie is so damn selfish she couldn’t even leave him a note! UGH!!! Oh yes we also had some boring Bill Flashbacks to when he was going off to war with him getting pictures taken with his wife and kids…. and the photographer was a Fortenberry .. hmmmmm wonder if that will be important.  Anyway these flashbacks were a LOT less interesting than the Pam / Eric ones! No shocker there!

The H Vamps holed up at Fangtasia have a problem … not enough blood.  They have to feed every hour (well at least one of them does …. seriously I tell you making the rules up as they go along) …. and noone seems to be mentioning the loss of Ms Harris last week or the fact that leaves one less vamp to feed.  Who knows how many are actually in the club at this point but we learn they are down to 4 humans (5 if you could the baby – so that is Holly, Arlene, Nicole, and Jane) and so they need to go find more.  Oooooh Sookie being vampire bait might actually help them ….. although one bite of her and none of them is stopping but whatever …… they decide that a group will have to go  and they go to the basement to find their “Trail Mix” to take with them as they can’t go long enough to hunt without a feed bag.  When they get down there Holly has cast a “sort of”  circle and they are chanting but it doesn’t get them anything other than Harry Potter taunts and Holy gets to go hunting with them.  The crap  H Vamps actually manage to fins a couple of stragglers in the woods (but not Sookie yet) and send them back to Fangtasia with a couple of the familiar looking H Vamps  (The Dark Haired Girl and the Brit) while the rest keep on hunting ….. more on the H Vamp hunting party later!

Right then remember the “Wanna be Justice League” and all the drama going on with that.  Well things certainly get interesting this week.  Andy and Jessica get Adelyn and Wade out of the jail and then they go off to gather up Jason and Violet (who are in the middle of a big fight about what a “Real Man” is.  Mildy interesting because Jason now wants a family (yes he has figured out it would mean adoption) and Violet tells him to stop being such a girl.  Violet is still not happy with Jessica but she lets her in but under her rules and they can have a truce until they find Sookie.  They leave Adelyn and Wade at Jason’s house and off they go on a hunt!

Sam is visiting with the reverend (With his gay vampire watcher Matt lurking in the doorway)  trying to figure out the meaning of all this and how tragic it would be to be sitting there having frozen pizza with just no hope.  That that was just it. Soo the rev and Sam are having a big faith heart to heart when Willa shows up with Lettie Mae high on V and the Rev has everyone else leave so he can sort out the crazy one.

Once the Rev is sorted with Lettie Mae he comes to find Willa and feed her and while she’s feeding she hears all about how the rev ended up there and that Lettie Mae and him basically saved each other. Ummmmmm wait a minute didn’t the Rev have a wife there already earlier in the series before him and Lettie Mae got together? As in he was cheating on his wife with her? Did I make that up ….. I don’t have time to rewatch and check right now but I am pretty sure that is what happened there and he didn’t arrive at a boarded up church and find a drunk Lettie Mae sitting there waiting for him and he knew his purpose.  Hmmmmmmm damn you writers!!! Now I need to go find that …. well later …… ugh sidetracked.  Anyway basically he explains to Willa that she can’t stay there because Lettie Mae won’t stop finding excuses to get her blood and so he thanks her for everything and then rescinds her invitation.  Poor Willa :( 

Sam and Matt leave and are driving along when they run into the much enlarged “Wanna Be Justice League” group now starring, Maxine, Kenya, Rocky  and well as the already very annoying Vince the wanna be mayor, all armed with guns and wooden bullets which they suddenly use to kill Matt so he is now a pile of goo.   Vince has decided he is now Mayor and when Sam refuses to go away they get ready to shoot him but he turns into an owl and flies away.  Well then that secret is well and truly out the bag now!

Jason, Andy, Jessica an Violet find Sam’s abandoned truck shortly after and the vamps spot the goo remains of Matt and go all fangy.  We hear the “Wanna be Justice League” in the woods and then suddenly they appear en masse in front of our fab 4.  Andy demands to know where the Mayor is to learn that he has flown away and Vince thinks he is mayor now! Jason makes a stand and tells them all just to get out of the way because they can’t do anything but Maxine gets all mouthy and decides she wants to kill Jessica (for all the mean things she did to Hoyt) and Jason (well because he was kinda to blame too)  …. and she shoots Jessica in the shoulder! Good job she is a bad shot!  Violet takes action and rushes forward and rips Maxine’s heart right out of her chest and drops it on the floor, to be shortly followed by a very dead Maxine.   Andy shouts for Rocky as the rest of the rabble disperse and Violet races off to get him and brings him back from the woods even managing to remember the directive to keep him alive!! Back at the car there is concern that Jessica isn’t healing.  She claims she doesn’t know why.  Is she stupid? She needs to FEED!!!!  Isn’t that instinct?  Shouldn’t her fangs pop out instinctively when food is near because she needs it.  WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THESE WRITERS GRRRRRRR!!!!!

OK enough annoyance for the moment … let’s go to  Lafayette.  We haven’t seen much of him this episode but when we do he is dancing his sexy little ass off and enjoying the liquid side of life until James shows up.  James is on the hunt for weed because apparently vamps get high from smoking (ummmm that is a made up rule) ….. but as Lala only has pills Lala improvises and takes a nice little cocktail for James to then enjoy once it gets into his bloodstream.  I am pretty damn sure that isn’t how this works …………. oh whatever …… they aren’t sticking to any rules so why the hell not this I guess.   James and Lala get nice and high on his deconstructed / reconstructed drug concoction and doze off for a bit ….. a little bit too much because James thinks Lala has overdosed and won’t wake up.  False alarm! Lala is fine …. or in his words “A Pro-fess- ion-alle” and they share a moment.  James reminds Lala he has a girlfriend but I don’t think this is the end of that.  I like James … he’s hot and amusing.  Let’s hope he can keep Lafayette safe the rest of the season.  At this rate though they will both be dead next week *sigh*

Remember the Sarah Newlin shenanigans I mentioned at the beginning? Well we get to see she is sleeping with the weird Guru and he seems to be besotted with her.  Well that isn’t going to last long because as he sends her off to get a bottle of wine from the cellar those pesky Yakinomo corporation samari’s are back …… and I don’t think they are very happy with how Sarah left their deal last season and they find the Guru naked and surprised.  When he confirms that Sarah has been but refuses to say where she is now they cut off his head and we see Sarah in the wine cellar behind a closed door as her Guru’s blood pours under the door.  Oooooh this isn’t going to be good.   Guess we will see more about that next week! 

To finish this week everything is going to happen at once.   Alcide and Sam both meet in the woods and transform just out of sight of some of the scattered Justice League … ummmmm seriously? A dog and a wolf and neither of you smelled people right there? Luckily the JL idiots took too long to make the shot and they transformed back and went off running together in search of Sookie.  Sookie who is bored with the waiting game insulted that she thought she smelled special but they aren’t rushing to get her. We see her sharpening a wooden stake but not to do anything productive with ….. no she is going to gash her arm to guarantee that the H Vamps want to come eat her!  It works too as Holly comes out of the bushes bitten and confused so you know that the H Vamps are not far behind.  Sadly for everyone the H Vamps are prepared for vamps this time and they silver Bill so he is now useless and about to be stabbed by one of the H Vamps when Alcide and Sam appear and tear him apart, in the meantime Andy, Jason, Jessica and Violet start shooting wildly and explode all the H Vamps covering Sookie in goo which she desperately tries not to get in her mouth (or her eyes because I guess you can get infected that way too).  Alcide is mad but his first concern is getting Sookie clean which amazingly Violet rushes her to the river to wash her off.  Alcide is really mad at Bill and blames him for agreeing with her when suddenly shots ring out from the woods and Alcide takes one to the forehead and one to the chest and collapses as Jason realizes they are being shot at from the trees and turns to protect them but it is too late for Alcide.  Alcide is dead.  Jessica offers to turn him but Sookie knows that isn’t what he would have wanted and says she made that decision before and it didn’t turn out well and so we end with  Andy standing over the still alive Lou (one of the Justice League) and he leaving him to die and Sookie crying over a naked Alcide’s dead body.

I think the theme this season is unexpected death whether it has a point or not.  Not sure this is the best way for them to make a statement.  So far all the main character deaths (apart from Maxine I suppose) have been pretty pointless if you ask me.  Just killing them off for the sake of a main character death and not adding to the story.  Will it get people talking about it? I’m sure ….. will it boost ratings ….. I don’t think so.  Much as junkies like me will watch until the end, those that pass through will be bored very quickly.  If they are trying to be Game Of Thrones with no on is safe I get it.  But this is NOT Game of Thrones and I don’t like it!

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  Only 7 installments left…. I know there will be tears …..Nobody is safe!!  Who will make it to the end???  Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide

Eric and Pam

 

My Favorite Lines From “Fire In The Hole”

  • Pam– “I searched the whole fucking planet for you”
  • Eric – “It Feels Better In The Moonlight”
  • Eric- “And Everyone Lived Bored And Suicidely Every After” (Love this reference to Mainstreaming that pops up in S1
  • Rev Daniels – “You got to have Faith” (Ha ha ha ha Fright Night Anyone????)
  • Violet – “One town of dead people and you are going to let it turn you into a girl?”
  • Sookie – “When we say stuff we can’t decide how people are going to take it.”
  • Sookie – “I Taste Like Sunshine And Flowers And I’m Right Fucking Here!

True Blood Season 7 Ep 2 – “I Found You” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right then here we go!!  At the end of last week we had … well not a whole lot really. Sookie was preaching in the church and there was no cliffhanger to speak of.

This week opens NOT in Bon Temps at all but rather somewhere exotic with ERIC standing by a window and Jason coming to find him … wait Jason???? Ummmmmm OK Brian Buckner I see where this is going and sure enough insert Eric / Jason sexy type dream sequence.   Not bad …. I never realized how short Jason was ….. and it was enough man on man action that my husband was groaning lol but over all other than putting Eric back on the screen it seemed kinda pointless. Kudos to them though ….. it was believable.  Great chemistry :D  The look Eric gave when he grabbed Jason by the throat and threw him to the chair?? Ummmmmm yes please!!!!  Jason is crazy as ever and you never know what what is going to come out of his mouth so that was kinda fun and Eric can just stand there and look pretty …. that works.  I’m going to be sad if they kill Jason off… poor Jason .. he was on my watch list last season as one of the most likely to die …. would hate to see him survive that only to die this season :(.   That being said ….. with this happening BEFORE the credits it certainly woke me up …… but that was a highlight … it is pretty much ALL down hill from here (Except a brief minute at the end but you will have to wait for that). …. Oh and Jason waking from his dream in the Church … hilarious!!

So Eric is not dead …. shocker …. yes well we all knew he would be appearing and his name is back in the credits so that was all obviously just to try and mess with bloggers like me.  Rutina Wesley is now absent from said credits (despite making a brief appearance this week)  so I guess well played? If this is the best “Game” you have for us bloggers Brian Buckner you get a C- Must Try Harder.  You know if they show wasn’t falling apart in front of our eyes we would have more SHOW stuff to focus on.

Right then on with the rest of the episode that can pretty much be set into 3 little boxes, none of which I would personally bother to open!  This whole episode is basically set during the day which means we get little to know vamp interaction and the stuff we do is from Hep V vamps we know little about and care about the same amount!  We start with most of the town together and Sookie realizing that no one knows what to do but she has a plan because she found a body in the woods.  Yup at this point nobody even asks why this is the first time this is coming up *sigh* ……. Anyway this leads to the decision that the box 1 action will consist of Sookie, Jason, Alcide, Sam, and Andy all leaving to investigate the body.  Box 2 action will consist of the adventures over at Fangtasia with the Hep V Vamps and their well known prisoners, and Box 3 will be the “Wanna Be Justice League” from last week and the rest of the town that are “sorting things out” including Lettie Mae, Lafayette (Briefly) and Adelyn.

BOX 1 – Sookie, Jason, Alcide, Sam, and Andy  and their out of town adventure.  They start by going back to the body Sookie found and getting an address off her license.  Jason and Andy so a bit of very unconvincing police work and then after trying to call the mayor and sheriff of the other town (Yes they know their numbers … not they aren’t saved because they dial them in …. *rolls eyes at the stupidity*) And off they go on their road trip to Saint Alise.  When they arrive they find is a totally deserted place with everything boarded up, spray painted messages everywhere with things like FEMA HELP and SOS and NO signs of anything living (or Unliving).

They find a mass grave filled with the remains on the town, at least those that they assume weren’t taken for snacks on the go….. as Sookie puts it they were either “killed or tooken”.    They manage to find the dead woman’s house and Jason is able to use “Pizza Forensics” to establish that they have been gone about 2 1/2 days.  For those not familiar with this tactic it involves eating left of pizza found on a table.  Must have been good because as the investigation continues he continues eating.

Sookie finds the bedroom and a diary and we get to hear her read the diary entries (Which are from 2010 and 2011 although happening just a couple of days ago so I guess that is where we are in the True Blood universe date wise).   We learn that the dead girl  had a fling with a vamp just like Sookie right down to the trip to Fangtasia, and they thought it was love.  Some great flashbacks to S1 ….. remember S1 …. when this show was awesome beyond belief and we thought nothing would ever match it *sigh* ….. anyway we learn that as we thought the vamps came, destroyed everyone and everything, and didn’t even spare a baby.  I think this was supposed to be dramatic and hard hitting but I’m afraid by this point in this week’s episode all I could think was hmmmmm so it it is 2011.  You know that this all making Sookie think about Bill ……. Ooooh Alcide I knew a wolf just wasn’t going to hack it Mwahahahahahahaha.  So after all that they go back to Bon Temps (after Alcide having a moment in the car where he says they could just keep driving…… UGH Alcide you REALLY suck! And not in the fun vampy way!)

 

BOX 2 – The Hep V Vamps holed up at Fangtasia with Holly, Arlene, Nicole and Jane.  The vamps aren’t happy that one of their own killed Kevin and ate him all by themselves.  Blood is short and they need to learn to share.   Apparently these Hep V Vamps don’t sleep during the day much, or if they do they have a watch set for 15 minutes to keep waking them up? Not sure what the hell is going on with that but it is all rather pointless.  They are all hungry, they are irritated because Bon Temps had vampires protecting them, oh and they don’t seem to get the bleeds.  Actually no vamps seem to get the bleeds by staying up anymore.  Jessica is up during the day (no bleeds even though as she hasn’t fed recently to the point where her own fang marks on her arm from feeding Adelyn aren’t healing?), We see Willa up in the day (although admittedly not for a prolonged period), anyway I digress.  So yes Hep V Vamps are hungry and they have a system in which they give each other titles…. like Reaper.  The reaper is the one that goes to fetch the prisoner and bring them up to feed the others (preferably without eating them all on the way).  The reaper that went for Kevin failed and ate him all so a new reaper is appointed.

This reaper is apparently a teacher that used to teach Arlene and Holly’s kids.  Now this is important because she recognizes Arlene and so chooses someone else to eat.  Later they manage to talk to her and come up with a plan for them to escape. On a side note when the girls are discussing that they know her Nicole comments that she is a reaper?  Ummmmmmm yes well they just made that up for this episode … guess they wanted to make the most of it.  Seriously writers …. PLEASE sort it out!!! Continuity FAIL!

The teacher works out if she is the sleep monitor she can rescue Arlene and the others. So she gets her watch (set at 14 1/2 minutes) and she goes down to get them letting them know they have 12 minutes to escape.  She says she will need to feed on one of them before she will be strong enough and Arlene volunteers.   The Vamp says it has to be the femoral artery because if they are caught the bite marks need to be hidden.  Arlene is unamused but agrees (I mean really what choice does she have?) and vamp goes in for a bite.  First bite seems OK but then it all gets weird ……. suddenly the vamp stops feeding, looks up and the veins in her face are deteriorating fast and her eyes glaze and she dives back at Arlene’s leg and starts munching like her undead life depends on it … which I am guessing it did because suddenly she is vamp goo.  Now was it just her Hep V finally getting her? We know Arlene isn’t infected so her blood wouldn’t be tainted and make her worse that quickly …… OR are we going to find out somehow that Arlene has something in her that kills the Hep V vamps? I mean they have said no new big bad villains this season but that doesn’t mean no new supes?? Hmmmmm will have to think some more on that.  Either way they are all still trapped and now covered in goo and we will have to see what happens next week. 


BOX 3 – The “Wanna Be Justice League” from last week and the rest of the town that are “sorting things out” including Lettie Mae, Lafayette (Briefly) and Adelyn.  Let’s start with Lafayette.  He gets a visit from Lettie Mae to “check on him” but really she just wants some V.  Yup she’s an addict again just swapping booze for V.  Lafayette won’t help her so she gets insulting and leaves.  Anyone else wish she would just leave for good?

Back at Merlottes (Sorry Bellefleurs) everyone is cleaning up so they can all keep busy … until along comes the   “Wanna Be Justice League” to cause problems and with all the “good people” off on a field trip they are able to convince all the people there (with a bit of help from a freezer full of dead bodies) that they need to take the law into their own hands.  They talk about Sam being a dog and Mrs Fortenberry says she saw him turn from a bear once by her trash and then proceeds to call him a bear/dog from then on.  I did like that someone asked her why she in fact voted for Sam to be Mayor if she had seen that to which she didn’t have an answer.   Anyway they all decide they are going to protect themselves and start breaking up things for stakes until Adelyn “overhears ” Rosie realize that there are guns at the police station. Adelyn takes Wade and rushes over to warn Kenya and things seem to be going well until the rest of the town gets there and convinces Kenya that they SHOULD be doing something (generally with the use of you are a black woman always overlooked and this is your chance to do something).  Adelyn gets scared and blasts them with her fairy light and it is all down hill from there.

Jessica wakes sensing Adelyn is in a whole lot of trouble but a glance at her watch lets her know it is the middle of the day and sunny too so she is trapped.  She tries calling Sookie but Sookie’s phone is still in the woods from last week.  UGH Sookie you are an idiot!  So there is nothing that she can do is wait … and wait and wait ……poor Jessica :(

At the station they all play with the guns and waste a ton of ammunition but the funniest thing for me was seeing Mrs Fortenberry getting all into shooting things (minus bullets).  Anyone remember when she was all black eyed and playing the Wii at Bills?  Ha yes that was what it reminded me of!

In another part of town Lettie Mae burns her wrist and runs it under cold water and then realizes there is a way for her to get more vampire blood and she burns the hell out of herself and then rushes over to wake Willa, who almost kills her being woken in the middle of the day, but instead catches herself and then heals Lettie Mae who goes off on a nice little V induced high.  She sees Tara up on a cross, dressed in white, with a big yellow snake wrapped round her and she is saying something.  All very strange and I am sure it means something but I have no idea what and I really can’t be bothered to try and figure that mess out.

Jessica is still stressing about Adelyn but now it is later in the day and she is trying to get ready to leave when Andy comes home.  After realizing that Jessica did not in fact EAT Adelyn he listens and finds out that Jessica knows Adelyn is in trouble.  Now here is my issue ….. she doesn’t know WHERE she is?  The whole point of her drinking the blood last week AND the clip they even showed in the recaps THIS week said … I will ALWAYS know how to find you.  So now she has to be out of the house …… HUH???? This makes no sense.  More rules not working because it isn’t convenient for them to be working.  Anybody have any other ideas.  UGH This show is pissing me off this week.

With the three boxes done there are only 2 little bits to add on.  Sookie and Alcide return from their road trip and Sookie sends Alcide for a shower so she can sneak out and run across the cemetery to Bills house so she can ask him if he could still find her if she was in trouble.  Ooooohhhhh any excuse Sookie ………

BUT the final moments this week had everyone gasping (OK had me gasping).  Pam finally gets to find Eric in France and contrary to speculation he was not burned up and recovering like Russell, instead things are much, MUCH worse.  We get to see Eric looking tired and resting in a chair as he looks at Pam , who is crying, and says “You Found Me” ……. awwwww … and then we see ….. those tell tale black veins in the center of his chest ….. ERIC HAS HEP V …….. ROLL CREDITS …. NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU BRIAN BUCKNER!!!! Finally something interesting on the screen after AN HOUR of crap and CREDITS!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  But it begs the question are they actually going to kill him off for good? I mean all the threats of I won’t watch next season really hold no water any more ……. SO NOT GOOD!!!!

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  The previews for next week look a LOT more promising than this weeks episode was and so with certain mixed emotions I both want to watch and avoid these final 8 installments …. I know there will be tears ….. Who will make it to the end???  But  honestly I’m not fooling anyone even myself ….. Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode
None  


Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – Hmmmmmm Looking more like it may have been for real.  I’m shocked!
Kevin 

EricMartini

 

My Favorite Lines From “I Found You”

  • Jason– “You’d play the whole Lone Rider – I’m an island”
  • Arlene – “I did not survive 4 lousy husbands, my serial killer boyfriend and the sort of suicide of my love Terry  to die in the basement of a vampire bar!”
  • Jason – “Sometimes not being clever makes you a better detective” (Hands over a Starbucks Card instead of a License lol)
  • Lafayette– “I’m not a big fan of Jesus’ work but that is some epic fucking timing”
  • Pam – “Un Fucking Believable”
  • Sookie – “If I got myself in some serious shit would you be able to feel me?”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 1 (Premiere) – “Jesus Gonna Be Here” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again (Because let’s be honest now where else would I be?) so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season (seriously where have you been for the last several years?)…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right then here we go!!  At the end of Season 6 we didn’t have the huge number of overwhelming, gut wrenching, scream at the TV cliffhangers that True Blood (*Cough Alan Ball Cough*) has become known for (If you missed it, or like my husband failed to care enough to remember, click HERE for my season 6 finale recap), instead we had all the vamps lose their day walking ability and Eric “apparently” trapped and left to his demise in the middle of nowhere (Yup not sure anyone really bought that would be his end) and then the weird flash forward a few months later where Sookie and Alcide are a couple (gag), Sam is Mayor (ummm OK), and Arlene owns Merlottes (Now Bellefleurs) and they are all hosting a “Vampire for Every Human” mixer as Hep V is everywhere, humans are contaminated, and most of the vampire population is now doing impressions of the Walking Dead – and heading to Bon Temps for dinner!

 

Well we pick up right there. Before I even get started on them let me state it was obvious that the writers hadn’t thought this Hep V thing through.  The rules aren’t really working (as in they are making them up as they go along) and with all supernatural shows YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE RULES!!!! Ugh!!!!!! Right then with that out the way bring on the premiere!!!  The Mixer is under attack!!! Yes those walking dead hep V Vamps seem to have found Bon Temps and it is dinner time and this means fighting and it means a bloodbath.  For an opening segment it is certainly action packed.  The opening credits haven’t even rolled and Arlene, Holly, Kevin, Jane (Bodehouse)  and Nicole (Sam’s pregnant girlfriend – remember her?) have all been taken by the Hep V Vamps (For lunch later? – not quite sure what causes the kill this one – take this one plan) so Sam shifts (into his dog form ….. of course that is what you need for chasing down psycho vamps) and Alcide shifts into his (much smaller looking or that just me) wolf and they take off after the grab and goes.

Tara is guarding her mom and we get to see that she still remembers some of her cage fighting skills … WOO HOO,  Go Tara!! Jason’s new vamp Violet does a stabbing scene straight out of the Matrix and when all looks completely lost suddenly there is this whistle from the distance…… and all the Hep V Vamps super vamp speed out of there.  Yep they just stop everything and are gone. Ummmmm WHAT???  Hmmmmmm no clue yet as to who (or what)  made this whistling noise and even less so as to why they all responded it to it.  WEIRD! Even more weird…. NO ONE else questions it they just work on salvaging those that are alive and trying to come up with a plan to survive themselves ………..which is when we see Lettae Mae all covered in vamp goo screaming that TARA IS DEAD……

ROLL OPENING CREDITS (which I am pleased haven’t changed as a side note …. and Rutina Wesley was still mentioned (Tara) .. but the main man himself Alexander Skarsgaard was missing …… deliberately I’m sure to keep up the ruse that he is gone….. Or perhaps he will be in it as a “Guest star” …… that doesn’t sound interesting …

For the rest of the show, after that extreme opening there really isn’t too much exciting stuff to write about. Lots of things are set up ……. but anyway here are my thoughts ….

For the record I would bet money that this isn’t the last we have seen of Tara (not only with Rutina being in the credits) but this seems like a rather lame get out for such a big character.  Not even an on screen death? Hmmmmmm I don’t think so. My bet would be either Lettae Mae is delusional and with her eyes screwed up tight in fear she opened them and was  covered with vamp goo and assumed it was Tara because Tara wasn’t there – or Lettae Mae is delusional and saw the Hep V Vamps drag Tara off after killing the one she was fighting with and doesn’t want to deal with that.  There is the one other option that possibly Pam needed her and “Called her” but that is such a stretch I only mention it because it did flash through my mind.

One person missing from the mixer gone bad was Andy.  He stayed home with his Fae daughter Adelyn and Jessica stands as an unwanted guard outside obviously still feeling guilty over killing the other girls last season.  Andy gets the call about the fiasco and rushes over to help although is obviously conflicted about leaving Adelyn alone.  As a lovely thank you to Jessica his parting words are that he bets she didn’t over hear that Tara was dead. Oh that’s really classy Andy. *rolls eyes*.    Hmmmmm Actually I can save a whole lot of time with the rest of the Adelyn / Jessica plot right now (although it drags on through the episode) ….. Adelyn should hate Jessica but doesn’t and they chat on and off about boys etc until a rogue Hep V Vamp turns up to eat her.  Jessica protects her and manages to get her to drink a couple of drops of her blood so she always knows where she is … and then as the sun rises and Jessica and the bad vamp start to fry in the sun Adelyn invites Jessica in and saves her, sending her to the attic for the day as the bad vamp explodes in a fireball on the porch. Hmmmmm Adelyn I don’t think your daddy is going to approve of that one!

Back at the bar the aftermath of the attack is being dealt with and no one seems to be suffering more than Sookie with almost Season 1 level lack of control over her telepathy.  Was this what they meant when they were saying we were going back to basics? Only good thing to come out of it was Sookie got to hear that Alcide, just like the rest of the town, thinks everything is Sookie’s fault.  Not exactly true but hey anything that stops Sookie/Alcide action is fine with me!  Sookie takes off letting no one know where she is going and then throwing her cell phone away.  Yep good old Sookie! Oh on the way home she trips (literally) over a dead body …. as they zoom in to show who it is I am assuming this is going to be important.  Sookie just leaves her though and heads on back on her merry way.

While all this is going on there are a little gathering of  “New” folks who we will call the “Wanna Be Justice League” (For no other reason than it amused me) ….  just keep popping up this whole episode.  Firstly here at the bar (where one of them sees Sam change from Dog to Human ……. yes that helps), and they are all about killing the vampires .. ALL the vampires ….. so we know this is going to end well.  Sam manages to calm them down and convince them to go home (ummmmm how much do you wanna bet THAT’s not going to happen) but they are out of the picture for now.

Sadly Sookie makes it home OK and Alcide eventually gets there and they have a fight all based on Sookie reading his thoughts.  Oh it’s not fair …. yes Alcide it’s not fair.  This was the dumbest exchange of the night …… It’s not my fault .. I know it’s not your fault …. I know …. I know … You are telling me something I know …. BLAH!!! DULL DULL DULL …. could be worse I suppose … they could be shagging … oh wait they get to that …much later in the episode when everyone is sorry and she goes to bed and that is BLAH too … UGH SOOKIE ….. go find a vamp!!!!

Sam rallies around at the bar with his whole “vampire for every human” bit and sends them all home.  Weird though a vamp tells Sam he needs to follow the same protocol and set an example…… can’t this vamp tell he’s a shifter? He doesn’t know? Or did they forget? Or is he pretending?  More rules just ignored…. ANNOYING!

Mmmmmmm on the plus side we get to meet “New James”.  Remember James? The cute, Johnny Depp kinda reminding vamp that Jessica hooked up with at the compound? Well yes they are still together but we have a whole new actor playing him and HELLO!!!!  Wow he really reminds me of Johnny Depp now, and my husband, so yes he can say! I approve lol.   Of course I still think they could have just introduced him as a whole new vamp but as he is an improvement I’m in lol.  He takes Lala home and they seem to hit it off quite well…..smoke some drugs ….. maybe some more fun for Lala in the future? We get a nice bit of James history to fill in the time and overall he has potential.

Taking a break from the whole Bon Temps thing we finally shoot across to find out what the hell is going on with Pam and (yes we are all hoping for some Eric but I can tell you not this episode …..). Pam is in Morocco searching for her maker (which would obviously be easier had he not released her) and looking exhausted. We later find out there is no “Clean” blood (I am assuming this means Hep V Free) there and she won’t feed on the child offered.  When we see her she is playing a game of Russian Roulette with wooden bullets against another vamp who seems to think Allah will save him and has 27 times in the past (Make that 28). (Side note – this vamp looks like Tim Curry …… he didn’t until my friend the Wench pointed it out … so thanks Wench for that image and he will forever been known now as the Tim Curry Wannabe Vamp).  Well Pam wins, the vamp becomes goo, and winnings are collected but the big prize seems to be info on where Eric may be.  She eventually gets a map but apparently this is not news she wants – more on this to follow I am guessing *sigh*.

Another more interesting pairing – Jason and Violet – they are on their way home and when they get there they meet the Wanna Be Justice League.  Yes I told you they keep popping up.  Violet’s answer is to just be in charge and threaten to kill them all.  Sounds like a plan to me!  Jason, however, is not so keen on having his masculinity handed to him because he is HERS and isn’t interested in playing nice with the humans.  Go Jason!  So normally I would be on Violet’s side here but this little outburst gets Jason to go all season 1 and decide he IS going to have sex with Violet whether she agrees or not (obviously she agrees … I mean it isn’t like he is going to be able to do much if she didn’t) but we finally get some clothes ripping, over the bonnet of the car, good old sex!!! FINALLY!!! Something that we WANT to see lol.

From a pairing I care about to one that I don’t but I guess it needs mentioning.  Lettae Mae and Reverend Daniels have taken Willa back to their place.  Lettae Mae is freaked out (She healed using Willa’s Blood) and now thinks she can see Tara (We don’t get to see Tara) and Tara is trying to tell her something. Her soul is trapped … she can’t move on ….. UGH … I DON’T CARE!! Seriously .. I don’t.  This only gets a mention because Willa is there and has no where to go and for now is going to be sleeping in Rev. Daniels church basement.  Also Willa  notes that “Eric’s gone and Pam’s gone” …. as her maker I think there would be more context there if Eric was actually dead. Interesting that it was mentioned along with Pam and the EXACT same phrasing. Just my little observation …..

Oh and it is time for the “Wanna Be Justice League” again. This time they have followed Andy and Bill to an abandoned slaughterhouse looking for the Hep V Vamp nest.  They manage to find evidence they have been there (in the form of hanging, drained, decomposing bodies) but no vamps.  As a note has Bill become an even more useless vampire since losing his Billith powers? He needs Andy and the flashlight and can’t smell (or hear) that 1. there are no vamps there right now and 2. that they are about to find a room full of corpses?   Of course the “Wanna Be Justice League”  thinks it is all Bill’s fault and they are ready to kill him now and ask questions later.  Andy points out that he has more reason than any of them to kill Bill and takes the gun …. which of course he turns on them and sends them all home.  Wow “Wanna Be Justice League”  you strike out 3 for 3.

Others that are striking out are the captured crew from the beginning who we find chained up in Fangtasia’s basement.  Nice to know Eric still kept all that stuff down there.  Kevin, Holly, Arlene, Nicole, and Jane Bodehouse (Ummm ok???)  with all of them freaking out except Holly who seems to be trying to stay calm.  A vamp comes down and starts sniffing them all (now at that point my money would have been on Holly …. doesn’t she live with Andy and his Fairy daughter? I would be thinking that she smelled GOOD!!!) but no …. he goes for Kevin and apparently doesn’t want to share and kills him on the basement stairs while the girls scream on.

Morning has arrived and all non vampire residents of Bon Temps are at church.  Yes even Sookie and Alcide join them and Sookie places her hand on Lettae Mae’s shoulder and gets a mouthful of abuse for her trouble.  Lettae Mae says what basically the whole church is thinking and Sookie gets to hear it all.  She rushes out but pauses to let them know that she can HEAR them all and then we get a fairly moving speech about how she has always lived there, and that even though they all blame her she still loves them all and that if they are going to win this fight and save any of them they need to let her help.  AND THEN IT ENDS ……… Ummmm where is my cliffhanger …. where is my yell at the tv moment ….. (unless you include the bitching that they only give us 10 episodes and THIS ONE ENDED 10 minutes early …….)

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  With certain mixed emotions I both want to watch and avoid these final 9 installments …. I know there will be tears ….. Who will make it to the end???  But  honestly I’m not fooling anyone even myself ….. Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V


Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Tara – ????? Hmmmm Maybe???? Still Not Convinced … Time Will Tell
Kevin …. I guess he counts as main cast at this point lol

true-blood-season-7-jessicas-blog-james-nathan-parsons

 

My Favorite Lines From “Jesus Gonna Be Here”

  • Pam– “My God Fucking Hates Me”
  • Pam– “Everyone I love leaves, Everything I touch Dies, So Forgive me If I don’t Share Your Faith”
  • Pam – “Your God and My God can go to a motel and have a circle jerk for all I care – I’ll be in hell having a 3 way with the devil”
  • Violet– “Why don’t you take your puny little guns back home, and go fuck your depressed homey housewives with your tiny little dicks ”
  • James – “You can laugh, you can cry, you can smoke out – to Tara and the universe it makes no difference”
  • Andy – “When you pull that trigger you are crossing a line you can’t never come back from.”

 

Up From The Grave by Jeanine Frost– My Review and Thoughts (Warning MAJOR spoilers) V””V

Up From The Grave

 

Up From The Grave is the 7th and final installment in the Cat and Bones books in the Night Huntress series.  Now before the die hard fans start questioning those numbers and throwing around the fact that there are other short stories and other books set in this world (that really from a time line point of view you need to read to fully appreciate this series) let me point out that from Jeaniene Frost herself this is BOOK 7 and the FINAL chapter in what has been an amazing ride.

Having waited 2 years for this book to come out imagine my glee at getting my hands on it a couple of days early.  Anyone who knows me knows that I have no patience and so I have of course already finished it.  Now here is your warning to make an escape if you haven’t read it…. there are about to be some major spoilers.  Were I not the one writing this, I would have to had clicked and read it because I am a self confessed spoiler whore …. BUT I would have been sad that I did.

That being said , my husband is sick of hearing about it, none of my friends have access to read it … and I HAVE TO SHARE my thoughts  SOMEWHERE … so here it is. You have been warned and are now reading at your own risk.

Right there here we go ……. Let me start by saying  WOW what an amazing end to the series.  Jeaniene really did herself proud! Fans will not be disappointed  because as I sat here and read, totally absorbed until I reached the end … (which came a little faster than I expected because there are previews of ALL the formed books in the series at the end making you think there are valuable extra pages that aren’t actually relevant Grrrrrrrrr), I laughed, I nodded, I gasped …… it was a thrilling ride!

We FINALLY get to find out what the deal is with Madigan and although we all knew it was bad because Don didn’t want to share I don’t think anyone knew it was THIS bad.  He has a lab with lots of experimenting going on but he messed things up in a ROYAL fashion when he decided that he needed to kidnap not one of Cat’s old team …. but ALL of them.  Yes he takes Cooper, Juan and Tate and thinks that Cat isn’t going to notice.  Hmmmmmm STUPID!!!    It does make some very amazing rescue scenarios that start with what appears to be the death of Bones.  HUH Jeanine you didn’t fool me this time.  We have played the bones rotting away to nothing card before so I worked that one out! Oh and the mouse trick …… saw that one coming too :D  Yes I am getting good at this.

What I didn’t see coming was that Cat has a daughter!! Yes you read that correctly … and guess what else .. there is a good chance that it is TATE’s … hmmmmm yes muse on that for a bit lol.   Of course I could explain that … but I won’t Mwahahahahaha.

All the favorites make an appearance (although some much briefer than others …. Vlad, Annette ……) Ian is brilliant (and a Trekkie … who knew) and his fans will LOVE the scenes he has in this ….. Spade and Denise play huge roles (well Denise more than Spade) Mencheres, Kira, Fabian and Marie are around ….  and even Timmie makes an appearance.   I was pleased that there was a real sense of closure whilst leaving the opportunity open for our main duo to come back if needed……. right now they are off on an island raising Katie the daughter from hell and as she was already executed, publicly, so that the Law Guardians, Ghouls, and pretty much everyone else that you wouldn’t want after you would leave them alone (she has her head cut off ……. but it wasn’t really her ……. if you can’t figure out who it actually was then pay better attention lol)…… and now they all have to stay out of sight possibly forever??? The child is growing though so we may even get her story sometime way down the line.  That will make interesting reading.

At the end of the day nobody important is lost, you don’t feel that this was a cliche end, and yet it feels right.  Jeaniene has been quoted as saying that she has known from the beginning where the end would take us and although from previous books I would never have guessed I think that she got it right.

Kudos for a brilliant end to a brilliant series!!

Mad about the spoilers? Guess you shouldn’t have read it … although trust me I could have posted more.   Have specific questions? Feel free to ask and I will answer in spoilerific detail :D

V””V