Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are. The end of the end …. the final episode ever. So sad😦 and things aren’t going to get any better because let me warn you right now I WAS NOT AMUSED!!!!!!! So let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season… ummmmm you have pretty much missed it all)… let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!
So here we are …… the time to say goodbye. Now things actually don’t start off too badly! The Yakuza are not secretly waiting at Sookie’s house after all and she just looks depressed …. well because she does. I guess I didn’t allow for the idea that the directors would realize that they would have to drive from Shreveport as usually they just make this stuff up to suit themselves… timing be damned. Instead we have Bill reminiscing about him first calling on her blah blah blah. Sookie quite rightly calls him out on everything and he tries to explain that all he wants is for her to live a normal life …. free of vampires …. and even better he has a plan! He wants her to use her last fairy light to perform “The Ultimate Kindness” because he loves her too much to ever let her go otherwise and he worries that vampires will always be hunting her. Sookie doesn’t look impressed and tells him to go but we can all see she is thinking about it. **Cue opening credits …. for the final time ….. sad😥 **
Now by far the best part of this whole finale! This was the moment that my hopes were raised and I thought maybe …. just maybe the team might be able to pull it together. Oh how wrong I was but these scenes were great!
We get to see Mr Gus’s crazy team of Yakuza racing in their sports car towards Sookie’s house and in the meantime Mr Gus is getting drunk at the bar in Fangtasia. In the basement Pam and Eric are hovering around Sarah and Eric announces he is going to let her escape through the tunnels. Eric has a plan and it is a GOOD one! Obviously completely over all his Hep V Crises and raring to go he has decided that the best plan is to kill Mr Gus and all his associates and to steal the New Blood formula and keep it for themselves! YES!! Great plan Eric … I LOVE it! So Eric has Pam give Sarah some of her blood so they can always find her and glamours her into escaping and going into hiding and trusting no one. Off she scampers and then our dynamic duo summon Mr Gus down to the basement complete with guards and as you can imagine he is none to amused to find his little money maker is gone. Awwwww so sad! Pam and Eric quickly kill the guards (so easily in fact it makes you wonder what the hell they have been waiting for) and Mr Gus tries to make a run for it. Eric can’t even be bothered to chase him because “humans are slow” and sends a fireball to turn Mr Gus into one very crispy critter ….. bye bye Mr Gus. You and your annoying accent won’t be missed at all!!!
Of course there are still the Yakuza group heading to deal with Sookie but fear not. Eric swoops on over and dispatches them with Sookie just hearing a slight noise out the window. Best scene of the night shows us Eric driving the sports car, crazy music blaring, dancing along with a pile of Yakuza bodies in the back seat!! LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!! Now I am not normally one for GIFS in my reviews but Click HERE to see it (Courtesy of Eric Northman Tumblr) because it was THE BEST scene of the entire episode😀.
Sadly that is it for the main episode with Eric. We do get to see a little clip with Sarah begging Pam to turn her into a vampire to which Pam is highly amused and lets her know it is NEVER going to happen and we also find out that Sarah learned a lot from reading Bill’s book but Pam only skimmed the parts to read about her. I LOVE Pam!! What this finale needed was much more Pam and Eric and much less of everything else. Sadly though that is all from them and then the episode just goes downhill …. fast!!!
We head over to the Compton manor where Jessica decides to come home for a final visit and she brings Hoyt with her. After saying she will never understand she then basically does a 180 and tells Bill she will be OK and Bill summizes she will be with Hoyt and bluntly asks if they will be getting married eventually. Now they have been back together less than 24 hours at this point and we have to hear a ridiculous blurb about how Bill never got to walk his daughter down the aisle and how he never got to meet her future husband as he had been made vampire by then …. ummmmmm didn’t your daughter die as a child? No husband ever in the picture? Whatever….. I don’t actually care at this point. This whole thing was ridiculous. 20 minutes of this finale is wasted by a stupid wedding, totally pointless, in the daytime … and NO ONE CARES!!! UGH!!! This was torture!!!!! Andy officiates (after a little chat with Bill about him being the heir to the Compton manor … oh continuity … the didn’t forget that Jessica can’t have the house yet and Andy agrees to rent it to Jessica and Hoyt for $1 a month basically forever), Jason is the best man, Sookie is the bridesmaid and Bill gives her away oh and Holly and Arlene are there too. WASTE OF TIME!!!!! The only “useful” thing to come out of it was that we learned Sookie could hear Bill’s thoughts showing us that this Hep V, combined with Sookie’s fairy blood was indeed making him more human. Even begged the question (from my husband) ….. was Bill going to become human?? Was that going to be the big twist?? Personally I was thinking NOOOOOO WAY … but I have to admit .. that would have been WAY better than then ending we got stuck with.
As always when Sookie has to ponder any big decisions we get flashbacks to her childhood (Yes it was nice to see Gran again for a minute even though it was blatantly thrown in there so she could say that Sookie should never compromise herself because she is different) and then we get the discussion with Jason, who lets Sookie know he is not good at those kind of decisions but will stand by her no matter what she chooses and Sookie tells Jason she listened in Bridgette’s head and she likes him .. and he should act on that. Subtle!! Then eventually Sookie ends up talking to Reverend Daniels for some spiritual guidance. Is Sookie the way she is because God wants her to be … or because he made a mistake. UGH BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell kind of finale is this??? BORED BORED BORED!!!!!
So the big question becomes what will Sookie do. As the end fast approaches she calls Bill and tells him she has made all the arrangements and he is to meet her in the cemetery at sundown. We see her leave in a simple black dress, a stark contrast to her other meetings with Bill in her little white dress (that was a nice touch) and we find her waiting by Bill’s open grave. She is surprised there is a coffin in there and when Bill arrives he explains that they used to do that as it was easier for the families. Inside his coffin is the picture of him and his daughter (so that was the reason for that flashback before) and Bill lies down as Sookie prepares to blast him. Wait …. NO WAY .. there is no way that she is going to kill Bill with her Fairy light and go back to being human …. and nope sure enough as she stands there for ages with the light in her hand we see the resignation cross her face and she says she can’t do it. Knew it! No way they would have Sookie kill Bill ….. she is going to save him .. or he will become human … right ……. WRONG!!! Sookie admits that she can’t give up being Fairy as it is a part of her but she asks him if he still wants to die and he does. So she gabs a shovel and snaps it (hmmmmm OK … those things are MUCH harder than that to break) and creates a stake, climbs down into the coffin with him … and then with their hands both on it … plunges it in! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT .. They actually killed off Bill …. for real this time .. no coming back as some mystical blood god ….. he is gone. Sookie is left covered in vampire remains and we see her place the lid on the coffin and start covering it in dirt as she cries. Wait that can’t be it …. .this is how it ends?? We see Sookie walking away from the cemetery still crying and the darkness covers the screen …. UMMMMM WHAT??? This is the end ……..
Actually that would have been a better ending!!!! No …. as always they had to keep going. Although at that point I was already bitching that there had been no more Pam and Eric I think I would have rather left it there. It certainly would have been more dramatic. Instead we are treated to 10 minutes of flash forwards. So are you ready … here we go.
First flash forward is “about a year later” and we see a very cheesy Eric hosting an “infomercial” for New Blood complete with Pam. They explain how although they never caught Sarah they were able to get a couple of drops of her blood from her escape through a window and synthesize it that way. There is even a cameo from Charlaine Harris sitting behind the teleprompter.
Flash Forward to 3 years after that and we get to see Pam and Eric opening the trading by ringing the bell at the NY Stock Exchange with a big poster of New Blood behind them so we are to assume that business is going very well for them
Flash forward to “The Following Thanksgiving” so I am guessing about 5 years? And we get to see …. well pretty much everyone including a VERY pregnant Sookie. As to who the father is … well we never get to see him. We get a mystery pair of hands putting a turkey in a deep fryer outside in the sun and then a voice calling “Turkey is in” as Sookie potters around in the kitchen. We get a glimpse over at Jason’s house where we find a pregnant Bridgette and 3 kids already … one of those girls clearly looking older than 4 which would be the right age to fit in their stupid flash forward …… STUPID ROOKIE ERROR ….. (Side note … the song playing was actually played in Season 1 at Arlene and Rene’s engagement party)…… Back at Sookie’s we see Sam and Nicole getting out of the truck complete with one daughter (looking about 5) and another one obviously on the way (apparently they all needed to be pregnant to finish things off).
Suddenly it is night and we head over to Fangtasia where we see Eric sitting on his throne, looking bored and rather sad. Pretty reminiscent of Season 1 Eric but with shorter hair and in complete contrast to the flash forwards already shown with his success. We get to see that Pam is in the basement charging $100,000 a minute to bite Sarah and Pam is loving every minute of it. Sarah on the other hand is tortured and having visions of Steve… which while visions of Steve are always amusing … it was sort of pointless.
And then to finish we have the great big sweeping, all encompassing, show everyone happy, thanksgiving feast at Sookie’s where we get to see that Hoyt and Jessica are still together, Arlene and Keith are still together, James and Lafayette are still together, Revered Daniels and Lettie Mae, even Jade Bodehouse has a guy and is at the feast. LITERALLY everyone is there. Holly, Andy and the kids … that haven’t aged … at all … not even Adelyn the fast growing fairy has age a day in the 4-5 years … ummmmm STUPID!!!! Then to top everything off we get to NOT see who Sookie is with …. except his back and a slight side view.
Not the ending I wanted … not an ending I saw coming …. not an ending I am on board with ….. seriously they should have left it with Sookie covered in Bill’s blood …… overall a general let down so thank you HBO for sucking me in for 7 years and then leaving me wanting. YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Main Cast Death Count This Episode
Mr Gus ?? (Does he count as main cast?)
BILL!!!! WOW they actually killed him off!!
Main Cast Death Count This Series
Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
My Favorite Lines From “Thank You”
- Sookie – “If you are feeling this nostalgic Bill I gotta ask …. What the Fuck???”
- Pam – “Are you just winging it or do you have a plan here”
- Eric – “I’ve tried trusting, i’ve tried sharing …. it’s just not fucking working for me!”
- Eric – “Humans are slow.”
- Sarah – “I’m a horrible person … which is why I think I would make a kick ass vampire”
- Gran – “There are no limits on you if you don’t put them on yourself”.