Blog Originally Posted in Vampire Loving Dorks June 2011 – Reposting as Season 5 2012 Blogs will be here
So here we are at Episode 4 and as we left things last week Eric had just completely drained poor Sookie’s fairy godmother and she poofed into dusty, sparkly, nothingness. Oh well no big loss there if you ask me but what was fantastic was how it left Eric afterwards.
Not only is fairy blood irresistible to vampires and as we know even watered down allows them to walk in the sun …. apparently large quantities in pure form gets vampires DRUNK!!!! We get to see Eric drunk and loving every minute of it after a slight slip where he wants more and looks ready to bite Sookie …. a quick reminder from her and then all he wants to do is play.
From pinching her butt to wanting her to “catch” him and he flit back and forth through the woods laughing the whole time while an exasperated Sookie tries unsuccessfully to get him to come in the house. A most entertaining 5 minutes of screen time for certain which ends with Eric running off into the woods stating he doesn’t care that it’s dawn soon and why would he …. he just drained a purebred fairy. That has to be good for at least a couple of hours of sunlight time right????
So Sookie has lost Eric and knows she has to get him back and whats the best way to do that? A werewolf turned tracker dog of course lmao. She calls Alcide to come and change into his wolf form and track Eric. For those of you that have been waiting you do get a quick glimpse of a shirtless Alcide (yup he does nothing for me but I know there are those that have been waiting for it) and then off runs the good dog …. I mean wolf and he manages to find Eric enjoying the sunshine IN THE MIDDLE OF A LAKE!!!! He is absolutely loving life (death???) and says he is the god of the lake and wants Sookie to come in him and be his sea goddess. When she mentions all the nasty monsters in the lake Eric says he will kill them all …….
Sadly his fairy fix starts to wear off and poor Eric starts to burn and has to come out the lake and be covered by the big blanket Sookie has bought to protect him and she takes him back to his sad little hidey hole where he doesn’t want to be alone. Poor Eric. He is now sad that he will never swim in the sun again and Sookie tries to convince him that really overall he was a happy vampire even though half the time she would like to smack him it’s in a good way. And then it looks like what we have all been waiting for …. Eric says if you kiss me I will be happy …. and Sookie says no but looks like she is going to do it …. and then DAMN BILL IS AT THE DOOR!!!! Did I mention I can’t stand him???
Bill is not having a good time of things (YAY that makes me happy). First he tries to get information out of Pam – epic fail .. she gives him nothing other than a bit of attitude. Go Pam!! Next Nan Flanigan comes to visit and is completely unimpressed that he sent Eric after the witches and says that they were no threat. They then go on to discuss various historical events that neither of them were actually around to witness and this ends with Nan telling Bill he better sort EVERYTHING out without spilling any human blood under any circumstances and to remember there are NO RETIRED KINGS.
Bill’s last resort is to go to search Sookie’s house claiming that that is the one place they haven’t been able to look. At first it looks as though Bill is going to force his way into the house and Eric will be discovered but Sookie talks him out of it stating how she has never lied to him and why would she now. Although Bill looks unconvinced he is obviously still hoping to get back in Sookie’s pants at some point so he leaves.
Just when you think things can’t get much worse for Bill he goes for a visit with Portia’s grandmother the infamous Caroline Bellefleur and discovers that he is actually distantly related to Portia. They definitely had more than a few extra Grands in there (possibly hoping to distance Portia and Bill so it wasn’t quite so incestuous???) but over all it was pretty dull and no surprise to any of the book readers. the main difference being Mr Ball actually let them get it on before it was revealed.
Talking of incestuous that links us nicely to the messed up events going on in Hotshot. Is anyone else sick of all this uncle daddy cousin crap??? It was vaguely amusing when Eric used the line in season 3 but now I am totally fed up with the whole messed up place. They finally stop raping Jason but only because they send in the little girl Becky and Jason manages to talk her into freeing him. (thank goodness …. child abuse would be taking it way too many steps too far for me!!!) So Jason escapes but is in really rough shape. Luckily he gets a good lead before the Felton realises he has escaped and takes chase. After much dragging out and Jason ending up hiding up a tree Felton eventually stalks around underneath the tree long enough for Jason to drop down and stab him with a sharpened stick and kills him.
Crystal appears moments later and thinks just because she is standing there naked Jason is going to gratefully run to her and they will live happily ever after. Jason thankfully has more sense than that and tells her to go as he staggers off to Crystal calling after him that he will be back to Hotshot because they are the only people who will understand him.
We later see Jason crawling along the road and collapsing only to be rescued by Jessica and Hoyt who come driving past. Jessica gives Jason her blood and he looks up at her as if she was an angel. Hmmmmmm this could get interesting in the weeks to come.
Talking of shifters we have not a whole lot going on with Sam. He gets a visit from Maxine looking for Tommy and manages to stop her with kindness which confuses her … and then he goes to visit luna to discover she has a daughter from a werewolf. The daughter takes to Sam and amuses me by telling him to STAY while she brushes her teeth …. good doggy Sam lmao.
The missing shifter Tommy has in fact gone back to see his real momma. Are you kidding me??? has he learnt nothing???? So they have a lovely reunion with some great learn to read tips (see favorite lines from this episode) and she leads tommy to believe that she has left Joe Lee for good but at the end he reappears and captures Tommy with a choke chain. Now my big question is …. why didn’t Tommy just shift into something small and escape???? Just struck me as stupid. I was totally over the whole Mickens thing in season 3 …. certainly don’t need it all again!!!!
Talking of crazy families Arlene’s baby finally does something actually evil. He writes on the wall “Baby Not Yours” in creepy red writing and this time there is no way Terry can think its all in Arlene’s head. You did however see that creepy doll right next to him before he does it. Again I ask WHAT IS WITH THAT DOLL????
Then we have all the stuff going on with the witches and Marnie desperately trying to get the spirit back in her so she can reverse the spell. After much time filling rubbish (IMO) she finds a spell and they head off to meet Pam. At the meeting Pam just can’t keep her mouth shut. In typical Pam fashion she is impatient and full of swear words and threats and finally pushes Marnie too far and she flips into crazy possessed mode and casts a spell on Pam which causes and almost zombie like effect with half of Pam’s face peeling off as the skin basically melts away. Pam screams and runs off into the night and after laughing maniacally Marnie collapses … and THEN IT ENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRR Alan Ball!!!! It just starts to get good and you make us wait!!!!!
Memorable Lines From I’m Alive And On Fire
Eric – “Come play with me its wonderful here” 😀
Eric – “Prepare to die you stinking dog !!!” ( A Personal Fav lol)
Sookie – “Alcide stop making that noise!!!”
Tommy – “There’s this trick you can do when you don’t know a word. You sound each letter out until it sounds familiar and then you say ‘Hey I know that word!”
Pam – “Reverse the spell or I’ll bite you’re fucking head off”
Pam – T”here is always a special place in my dungeon for you Lafayette”
Over all I have to admit I was a little disappointed with this episode. It was only 50 mins long, and Eric was only in about 10 of that. It was what I think of as a “filler” episode for the most part. Lets hope it is leading up to something great for next week!!!