Blog Originally Posted in Vampire Loving Dorks June 2011 – Reposting as Season 5 2012 Blogs will be here
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo did everyone enjoy episode 5? If you loved it all then you might not want to read this because lets just say I am NOT a happy bunny!!!!
Well I am going to start this review with a combination of the beginning and the end because that’s what has got my kickers all in a knot!!! As you may remember at the end of the last episode Pam got cursed by the possessed Marnie and her face started to disintegrate. We find out this episode that she is slowly starting to rot and she starts wearing this Miss Havershamesque big black hat and veil (not too shabby IMO lol). During the episode Bill and his merry band of goons help Pam capture Marnie and they put her in a cell and question her (eventually big bad King Bill goes in and glamours her and they realise she really doesn’t know how to reverse the spell). OK So far so OK with the whole storyline so lets slip to the final part of the whole Pam fiasco …… at the end she is in a meeting with Bill and 4 other Louisiana Sheriffs discussing what was to be done … and PAM LETS SLIP THAT SHE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED TO ERIC …. and EVEN WORSE …. WHERE HE IS HIDING!!!!!!……. SO WRONG!!!! This is just TERRIBLE writing!!!! Have these writers not met this character before??? Even going purely on the TV show version and ignoring all references to her book persona do they not remember the Magister events in Season 3??? PAM WOULD NEVER betray Eric like that … NEVER!!!!! …….Oooooohhhhh this has made me really REALLY mad …. so mad that even the next part of the review doesn’t really help things ….. but it does a bit lol …. Ok takes deep breath …..
So what we all have been waiting for … the whole Sookie / Eric connection. Well some progress is finally made this week despite a very strange Eric /Godric dream where Godric encourages Eric to drain her dry. After the dream there are some very tender moments and lovely handholding and its all really sweet. Right towards the end of the episode we finally (almost) get what we have been waiting for .. Eric and Sookie full on non dream make out kiss!!!! Just as things start to get good though they flash over to where Bill and the gang are having their meeting and ends with Bill about to rush over and ruin everything at Sookie *sigh* when are they going to leave these two alone so they can finally GET IN THE SHOWER!!!
OK on the other storylines that to be honest I couldn’t really care less about ….. Tara, Lafayette, and Jesus are all taking off. Tara is heading back to N’Orleans to face a not happy girlfriend who has discovered she is not really Toni. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm is it too much to hope Tara stays there??? Lafayette and Jesus are off to Mexico to visit Jesus’s crazy Brujo grandfather who Jesus hasn’t seen since he was 9 and from a flashback we learn he made Jesus slaughter a goat and drink some blood to take in the power and his mother whisked them away. (Yup sounds like a great place to visit)
Arlene and Terry decide they need an exorcism so Reverend Daniels (who is now married to Lettae Mae who comes with him) comes over to sing and dance and wave white sage everywhere. They eventually proclaim the place clean and apparently that’s all it takes to get Arlene and Terry back in bed in nasty tacky white satin sheets. Cue very creepy music to let us all know that all is not well …. and a packet of matches catches fire by itself on the dresser … wonder how long it will take them to notice that???
Finally in the trio of storylines I couldn’t care less about are the Mickens. Last week the evil parents from hell finally captured Tommy (although I still haven’t worked out why he just didn’t shift) but they have him and are obviously planning on making him fight the next day. Long story short there is a big fight and Tommy finally kills Jo Lee but unfortunately also kills Melinda (who in Tommy’s defense was trying to help Jo Lee) but it is clear that Tommy never meant to do that and he is devastated. Now who do you go to when you kill your parents?? Your brother of course lol Sam comes to the rescue and after a brief, hilarious, incident with Andy Bellefleur (He opens the truck with Tommy and the bodies in the back and gets greeted by tommy having turned into a gator!!! … wow finally some smart thinking from the shifter). So Sam and Tommy take the bodies and throw them in the swamp and Sam adds marshmallows to tempt the gators up to destroy them … because apparently Gators love marshmallows :S
In other news from the town…Sookie goes to get a reading from Marnie and gets a message from Gran telling her that Marnie is evil and she needs to RUN RUN RUN .. which she does … hmmmmmm interesting use of her mind reading skills …. Alcide gets a visit from a very unthreatening looking Shreveport packmaster who is unhappy that Alcide is on his turf and hasn’t presented himself to him (Yawn .. they could have at least got a big scary packmaster) ….. oh and there then is Jason …..
Jason as we know last week got free from the crazy hotshot freaks and was eventually saved by Jessica giving him her blood. Jessica and Hoyt are acting all weird a fact that Hoyt feels is appropriate to try to talk about with Jason while he is spilling his guts about the terrible violations that he has endured… well timing never has been Hoyt’s strong point but it was funny to see it almost as a turn around as its normally Jason interrupting with completely random Jason stuff lol. As usual anyone that ingests a large amount of blood for healing gets the pleasure of some nice dirty dreams and Jason is no exception. You would think after what had happened to him he would be all about giving the sex a miss for a while but he certainly seems to enjoy his Jessica style wet dream …. that is until Hoyt interrupts and then eventually takes over. Definitely a scene of much amusement for me.
And that pretty much covers it all from my view. I am really hoping they get to some shower action soon …. this season so far is seriously lacking in any decent vamp porn!!!! I must say though that the previews from next week look more about saving Eric from Bill administering the true death. Just another example of King Bill NOT being kewl!!!!!
Memorable Lines From Me and The Devil
Eric -“I would never hurt anyone as beautiful as you”
Pam – “I can put up with a lot but if you fuck with my face its time to die … and I would like permission to torture the kill the mousey little bitch that cast the spell”
Sam – “Gators love marshmallows .. you should know that”
Jason – “maybe God is punishing me for having too much sex .. he’s like you know (in awesome Jason God voice) Jason Stackhouse you have fucked too many hot women… now lets see how you like it!”
Soooooo what did you think????