Blog Originally Posted in Vampire Loving Dorks August 2011 – Reposting as Season 5 2012 Blogs will be here
So at the end of last week we were all left wondering if our little blonde heroine Sookie was going to live ….. well OK so not really … did ANYONE think she was going to die???? Sadly of course it had to be Bill that saved her yet again with his blood *sigh* … Alan Ball sure does love his Bill but yes Sookie is fine and more irritated at the fact that Eric is missing (much to Alcide’s annoyance) that worried that she almost died.
So where is Eric??? Well “The Blonde One” as Antonia insists on calling him is on remote control and has been taken him back to the Moon Goddess Layer much to the disgust of most of the coven members apart from Roy … Roy just thinks everything is amazing *rolls eyes*. Tara has realised this is not what she signed up for and tries to reason with the crazy witch which works out really well as now they are all prisoners lol. Well done Tara!!!
Over in the other part of town Sam is still at Luna’s and he convinces her that a camping trip so that they are just “not there” if Marcus comes back would be the best thing and Luna amazingly agrees. The whole camping trip thing is actually pretty cute with Sam turning into a bunny so that Emma can pet a wild bunny was actually, as much as I hate to say it, rather cute!! and it really works out for Sam as he finally gets laid!!! Yay go Sam!!! Just keep your shifter girlfriend away from the witches … looks what happened to your last one when there was magic in the air lol
Poor Jessica is totally heartbroken over what’s happened to her and has been spilling her heart out to Nan who responds with a very Pammish line about how she was so glad she was never a maker (See best lines for the whole quote). This amused me no end …. but it got better because when Bill came home Nan announced she was going to spend the night there before they go to “The Festival of Tolerance” the next night …… and flash to a shot of them all laying on the beds silvered down and Nan’s snide comment .. is there anything ELSE I need to know. LOVE IT!!!!
Poor Hoyt is waking up to an awful hangover and an even worse alarm on his phone. A rooster crowing that loud even WITHOUT a hangover would be cause for the Advil!!! Looking around his trashed house he decides to pack up all of Jess’s stuff and put it in “The Monster Box”. This is going well under Lafayette/Mavis with baby Mikey and gun burst in and poor Hoyt gets run out of his own house minus his pants. Hoyt contacts Jason who is busy with Andy taking a report from Arlene and Terry and we get to see that Andy is fast losing control over his V habit to the extent that he remembers to take that but forgets poor Hoyt’s pants.
While there is a crisis over at Hoyt’s house there is full on Slutty Sookie mode at Sookie’s … Eric’s??? Whose house are we calling it now lol. Anyway this time Alan Ball makes no attempt to hide that it’s a dream sequence with Eric appearing at the door in the daytime and having a nice little make out session until Bill appears …. hmmmmmm Bill looks REALLY short compared to Eric lol … sorry I digress …. oooh am going to digress again … did anyone else notice the music playing???? Reminds me of the movie Sleepwalkers movie every time ….. ANYWAY …. so Bill, Eric and Sookie can now all hear each others thoughts and the men both want Sookie to be his but Sookie has other plans. Now in the episode the dream sequence pops back and forth but I am going to put the whole thing in here because .. well it’s my review and I can. So Slutty Sookie brings the 2 men into the living room and tells them that she is obviously in love with both of them and she makes it quite clear that she REALLY likes it ….. so gives them basically no other option that to both go for it … and of course they do … but we only get to see her get bitten by them both before she wakes up. Hmmmmm wonder how inadequate Stephen Moyer felt in that scene *snigger*
Back at Hoyt’s Jason and Andy have arrived (minus pants for poor Hoyt) and Andy high on V has no intention of diffusing the situation and just busts down the door and nearly gets shot for his trouble. Jason manages to get him out of there but no progress on rescuing the baby or finding out what the hell is going on. Luckily Arlene has half a brain for a change and calls Jesus in to try to work this out. When Jesus arrives there is a great scene with Terry trying to give a whole army directive speech to which Jesus says I am just a nurse!!! and in he goes. Jesus quickly realises that Lafayette is possessed by the spirit of Mavis and manages to make him/her see that she is a spirit by explaining she is in a man … and Mavis checks this out the only way a person can … by grabbing his privates. Oh I know this was meant to be serious but that amused the hell outta me … yes yes I am a bad person …. I know … but it was FUNNY!!!!! Well Jesus being the Bruha that he is does some magic and we discover that after the guy we say last week killed her baby he then killed her and buried her in the yard and all she wants to do is hold her baby one more time. Jesus manages to get Lafayette?mavis to come out and give the baby to Arlene and Terry and Terry just tells Lafayette that its OK .. apparently in Terry’s world we all have days like that …. and he still loves him .. awwwwww. To resolve poor Mavis’s tragic death Hoyt and Jason start digging under the tree and well lets say they have more faith that I would have done because those people dug right through into the night before they found anything and as I am sure you guessed they found the bones of Mavis and her baby. Jesus tenderly places the baby’s bones in Mavis?Lafayette’s arms and then tells Mavis it is time to go. Great scene with Mavis and the baby leaving but honestly for me the whole thing was like Jason and the Panthers … a little anticlimactic. All this build up and speculation on my pat anyway about the Bellefleur’s being involved and I really thought with Andy being on the scene that would tie in but no …. it all just led up to that and now that story line is over. *Sigh*
From Sookie sluttiness to Debbie Pelt and she is not coping with Alcide helping out with Sookie (not that Alcide has fessed up but she could smell it … duh Alcide you really are dumb as a box of rocks lol). So Debbie gets herself some V for courage and heads on over to Sookie’s to help (not shoot her as it first appeared … nice touch with the flowers behind the back Mr Ball ….. for us book readers I will let you have that one). Sookie checks and Debbie really does want to help (apparently) so the new best friends head on over to Moon Goddess to launch operation rescue Eric.
While Debbie is busy with Sookie, Alcide is over with Marcus who is just back from visiting “Shifter Sam’s brother” who was at the bar and left a message for Sam to come meet him that evening. Yes we can all see the Skinwalker is about to strike again but this time is appears to be for the good :O … wow Tommy!!!. Marcus asks Alcide to stick around as because he is 6ft 6 and wide as a barn he looks intimidating but Marcus swears that Alcide won’t have to hurt anyone. Hmmmmm yes I didn’t believe it either and when Tommy shows up in his Sam suit claiming that Sam has never even laid a hand on Luna it looks as though he may be right … but then Tommy has to be Tommy and just keep on going and he tells Marcus how Sam’s brother has had Luna every way possible and that is the last straw and the wolves (except Alcide) all jump him and beat the living daylights out of him. Well we all know what happens when shifters start to lose consciousness … they lose their shift and as a skinwalker it’s no different ….. poor wolves have no idea what to make of this but a furious Alcide calls Marcus a liar and picks Tommy up like he weighs nothing and walks off with him.
Back to operation “Rescue Eric” and Debbie appears to be helping as a distraction by revealing her werewolf self to Antonia who is not quite trusting but definitely curious. While Debbie keeps Antonia busy, Sookie creeps in through the back and finds Eric who even spellbound recognises her and is able to tell her to leave and that the plan is to kill the king. Debbie at this point tells Antonia that she bought her Sookie and it’s not clear whether she is really trying to help or not as it’s definitely ends up helping. Tara finds Sookie first and actually does something smart for a change and has Sookie use her telepathy to help her escape, and lets her know where Bill is going to be and that all the people there are being held hostage. Sookie escapes and catches up to Debbie in the car and turns her into Taxi service. While Sookie and Debbie race to the hotel Antonia leaves too taking Eric and Roy with her but leaving the others trapped in a magically sealed building. Cue the stupidest scene of the night …. Tara grabs a door handle and gets severely burnt for her efforts and what is the big plan …. GO TRY THE BACK DOOR … cue another screaming wiccan as she gets burned too. Hmmmmm yes because it was likely that Antonia would only booby trap one door wasn’t it.
While Bill is at his Tolerance Rally waiting for Eric to come kill him *snigger*, Jessica is at home all alone and gets a surprise visit from Jason who on behalf of Hoyt it bringing her stuff back. Jason has sweetly crossed out “the monster” message on the side before returning them and as he puts it “parrot phrases” Hoyt’s message for her into something much nicer. While agreeing it’s a bad idea to come in Jason says nothing about Jessica coming out … to have crazy hot sex in the back of Jason’s pick up truck. Oh I do feel sorry for Hoyt but damn Jessica and Jason is a hot couple if you ask me!!!
Over at the Vampire Tolerance Rally the vampires are trying to say how lovely and harmless they are and all is going well until Eric goes in chased by 3 vampire guards who immediately get the remote control treatment from Antonia and off they go to kill three human guards, eviscerate them, and then hang them dramatically over the balcony to ensure maximum chaos below. Bet Nan is just wishing for the days of Russell now!!!! ….. As this happens Sookie comes rushing in screaming for bill and interrupting his (very boring) speech about how hate always provokes a bigger response than peace blah blah blah …. and the episode ends with Eric rushing forward to Kill Bill …. and Sookie screaming RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Over a maddened crowd.
Over all Mr Ball a much better attempt than in previous weeks if you ask me but I have to ask … where was Pam??? Does anyone really believe she would not have been out there leading the search party for Eric??? She never came to see if he was with Sookie???? She never even called to check :S …. I really missed Pam this week and I think her absence for me at least was glaring. With only 3 Episodes left I am already beginning to mourn lol
Memorable Lines From Let’s Get Out Of Here
Bill – “We Can Pray” …. Alcide -” A Vampire and A Werewolf who’s going to listen?”
Emma – “I hope I turn out to be a shifter … So I can be a bunny and pet myself”
Nan – “There have been times I will admit that I have thought maybe I should put my career on hold and become a maker but those last few hours with you have erased all those doubts … FOREVER!!!”
Tommy – “Well He Ain’t around Marcus He Knows Who I Am”
Mavis /Lafayette – “Oh No … how I make the baby with this me”
Sookie – “Come on Debbie … I have to say for a werewolf you drive like a girl”