Blog Originally Posted in Vampire Loving Dorks September 2011 – Reposting as Season 5 2012 Blogs will be here
So can you believe we are at episode 11 already?? How did this season go by so quickly?? I can feel the sadness already creeping into my bones as we approach the long year ahead with nothing tv worth on Sunday nights *Sigh* But enough of that … onto Episode 11 …….
The Vamp Squad (aka Eric, Bill, Jessica, and Pam) are all ready to blow Moon Goddess to kingdom come with Jessica comparing saying she is so fed up with it for her it’s like having PMS all the time.
While they debate outside Marnie is having issues with her motley crew inside with all of them (Except puppy dog Roy) not being too thrilled at the idea of vamps outside with automatic weapons and a primary goal of killing off all the witches and to be honest I can’t say I blame them. Casey )Young redhead wiccan) makes the mistake of rushing towards Marnie and ends up with a knife in her gut for her troubles. Oops …. Marnie doesn’t look to bothered by this though as her not loyal soldier falls down dying.
While Marnie may not be bothered by her murdering act Antonia has a whole different take on things and ejects herself from Marnie to let her know what she thinks and when a 400 year old crazy necromancer says you have gone too far it may be time to question what you have done. Lafayette with his new medium power gets to see all of this and provides a play-by-play to the others which sadly results in Marnie deciding she is not ready to give up her “Antonia power” and casts a binding spell forcing Antonia to be one with her. Antonia fights but ultimately loses so Marnie can carrying on with her plotting.
Outside Jason has come found the Vamp Attack Squad and is trying to explain that they can’t blow up the place as Sookie is in there (to which there is a hilarious set of “Fucking Sookie comments from Bill, Eric and Pam … never have those 2 words portrayed so much!!!) and Jason is none to pleased with that reaction and gives Bill and Eric a lecture which results in them agreeing to back off and come up with another plan much to Pam’s disgust. I agree Pam …. BLOW THE PLACE UP!!! …hee hee hee
Just to complicate things a little more Jason shows them the magical force field that is surrounding the whole building. Hmmmm that will give them something to think about for a couple of mins while we head over to Marcus’s garage where Sam and Alcide are questioning one of the flunkies trying to find out where Marcus is at the same time that Luna comes rushing in screaming that Emma has gone missing. We get to know that Marcus is with Debbie slut and trying to plan to take her and Emma off and make a family somewhere but wait ….. Debbie slut isn’t too sure she wants to betray Alcide because she loves him … hmmm that’s different …..We will see how this plays out later ……
Back inside Moon Goddess Jesus is saying that Casey isn’t dead and that he and Lafayette need to take her into the bathroom to try to heal her. Marnie for some reason agrees (I can only think that she is hoping that by agreeing to the insanity she will get some of their faith back and that maybe Casey can be saved but that girl is way past saving). Either way it lets Jesus get some privacy and even come out and grab a bunch of witchy supplies to “help heal Casey”. Maybe Marnie is distracted by the Holly / Sookie intervention that they are trying on her with everything from I know you are kind to I don’t know you but I heard good things and I’m a freak too … *rolls eyes*. Marnie reminds me then of a Laurell K Hamilton quote … I would rather they love me but if not love then fear will do …. not the exact quote .. and not exactly what she says but that’s the general idea …. in other words Marnie is so far off the tracks now I don’t think she is ever coming back to the station!!!
Meanwhile still lost in the woods somewhere Andy is having a hilarious conversation with himself about staying sane while he tries to find his way home back! Just to help his sanity a fairy decides to appear (damn I thought we were done with the fairy crap apart from Sookie and her electric hands) and attacks Andy because he smells like a vamp!
Outside Moon Goddess 2 vamp-bots under Marnie’s control attack the Vamp Sqaud … one immediately ending up as a pile of vamp goo and the other pinned to the floor being threatened to be turned into vamp goo but not before Pam snags the Vintage Cartier necklace … go Pam lol. Vamp-bot is decidedly uncaring that her life is about to end as is totally under Marnie’s control although the vamp is professing loyalty to Antonia … guess they are all confused. Bill takes this opportunity to call out Antonia and tell her to stop being a coward and hiding behind her magic … hmmmmmmm let me see ….. Vamp wanting to kill me and I have a magical force field .. I’m keeping it up lmao!!! …..But Marnie takes Sookie outside with her (as the vamps seem to like her) …. and she immediately orders her vamp-bot to attack the king … which results in Bill throwing said vamp bot into the force field which turns out to be made of harnessed sunshine …. OUCH …. One totally fried vamp-bot instantly. Hmmmm this could put a dent in the Vamp Squads plans!!!
Marnie has come up with a solution …… if Bill and Eric kill themselves she will let Sookie go …. Pam thinks this is hilarious until Marnie tells her to watch that her lips don’t fall off which reminds me yet again that Pam is still cosmetically fixed only. Are they ever going to address the fact that she too has a spell that needs reversing??? Eric and Bill however are not laughing and they agree much to Jessica and Pam’s disgust and quite right too … I mean really 2 vamps for Sookie .. what kind of deal is that!!! Even Sookie knows it is ridiculous. So the great plan is …… Bill will kill Eric and then Pam will Kill Bill and Sookie with be “as free as a dead bird” … hmmmmmmm yes that sounds STUPID!!!! Luckily Pam still has her brain and as she says “The True Death To Save Bo Peep .. I don’t fucking think so!!!” and despite Eric FORBIDDING her she fires her rocket launcher right at Sookie!!!!
Sadly the magic force field is too strong and whilst it causes a lot of shaking and a big flashback which Jason takes the brunt of ending up looking very extra crispy, Sookie is just fine. Oh don’t worry about Jason ….. Jessica is on scene to heal him once more with her wonderful vamp blood because the one thing they need is a stronger connection lol. Pam, however, is in a whole lot of trouble with Eric …
To give Moon Goddess time to recover Alan Ball decides this is the time to take us over to Alcide’s house to deal with the whole were / shifter issue. Sam and Marcus get into it while Debbie is held back by a very pissed off Alcide. Rules for the fight … no shifting *sigh* ….. what kind of dumbass rule is that? … OK lets leave them to fight as its boring anyway and head back to Moon Goddess ….
Marnie has realised that things are not going well and has retreated inside along with Sookie who she claims the vamps obviously now DON’T care about …. not quite true …. it was just Pam that wanted to sacrifice her but that’s OK. Roy is still so far up Marnie’s ass that he congratulates her on frying that one fanger like a moth to a flame with a High Five … oh please Roy … WAKE UP and smell the death on the horizon!!! Meanwhile Jesus has been busy in the bathroom preparing to open that very dark place in him (you know the one that causes his demon face to appear)
Andy is busy playing ET with the fairy and has sworn by the glowing finger light to protect her (whatever that means) and then they get down to business … yes after 4 seasons Andy is finally getting some action … luckily we don’t have to see too much of it lol
Sam and Marcus have finally finished fighting and Sam wins but of course does the honorable thing and not kill him but Marcus being Marcus can’t let it go and tries to shoot Sam in the back only to be stopped by Alcide once and for all …. yes Alcide kills Marcus by breaking his neck … although it did seem to be an accident. This apparently breaks something in Alcide and he abjures Debbie … now for those of you that haven’t read the books this is a HUGE deal … when he says he see’s her no more, hear’s her no more etc he means as far as he is concerned she is totally dead to him…. shame it doesn’t actually cause her to become dead but it is about as powerful a thing as a were ever does (in the books they say that very few ever get to witness such a thing) … so I guess well done Alcide??? Oh who am I kidding … I couldn’t care less … back to the real action …..
Marnie is still unaware that Jesus is cooking with some major juju in the bathroom and she looks in the pool of spilled blood on the floor and decides that would make a good scrying mirror … hmmmmmmmm ok ….. so she sees the present (vamps plotting outside) .. and the future (her dead on the floor) which she is none to impressed about and then lies to the room saying she has seen ALL their deaths. Yay Marnie way to raise morale!! The vampires are going to kill us all .. form a circle … so we have magic in the main room ….. Jesus casting magic in the bathroom … there is a whole lot of magic floating about in that place!!!!
Marnie’s magic apparently is cause for all vampires to practice their walking into the wind mime routine to be held back only by Jason … I’m sorry I mean Marnie is making them all walk into the force field but luckily Sookie can “Hear” Jason trying to save them and once again her magic light powers save them all but only temporarily as Marnie feels betrayed and casts Sookie into a circle of flame. Outside Eric sends Pam away “before he kills her” and Bill and him can feel Sookie’s fear but cannot cross the barrier. Jesus is still in the bathroom being urged to fast forward his magic by Lafayette and he manages to somehow “Demon Out”, break the Antonia / Marnie bond which stops the fire around Sookie AND drops the force field. Antonia is free and leaves Marnie to clean up her own mess!!
Eric and Bill storm in and prepare to kill everyone only to be told it was all Marnie … so they are about to settle for only her when Roy steps up and says they have to go through him!! Well that takes Eric all on about a second and a half as he pulls my favorite move of this season … a Russell and snatches Roy’s heart right out of his chest … holds it up in front of Roy … and then in one up from Russell …drinks from one of the valves like a juice box!!! LOVE IT!!!! With Roy out the way Bill takes out Marnie in a very human fashion… he shoots her!!! Anyone else think Mr Ball is trying to give Bill some humanity in front of Sookie …. Ugh whatever … give me Eric and a vampy killing any day!!
So Ding Dong the witch is dead … the necromancy threat is over ….people have been glamoured and all is back to as normal as things ever get in Bon Temps …….Andy is telling Arlene about the fairy and she suggests the hospital ….. Jesus looks like he is suffering from a bit of PTSD as he really did care for Marnie …. Sookie, Eric and Bill are all exchanging longing looks but nothing is being said …. and Jason is finally admitting he has it bad for Jessica … even without her blood in him ……..
But wait ….. this isn’t the finale …. WTF….. There are 10 minutes left and in rushes Mr Ball with his little twist … Ghost Marnie appears and takes over Lafayette ….. now what about the 10 mins we have left??? NOTHING?? A CLIP FROM NEXT WEEKS FINALE!! WE ARE SHORT CHANGED AGAIN lol
Hmmmmmmmmmmm Well that was rather long and waffley so I apologize but for some reason there seemed to be a lot and yet nothing going on. This week left me feeling a little lost and with a lot of unanswered questions .. my main one being …. WHAT ABOUT PAM AND THE SPELL!!! What did YOU think??? For all that … Next week’s finale looks KILLER!!!!!!
Memorable Lines From Soul Of Fire
Lafayette – “Marnie just puked a bitch out”
Pam has her priorities right lol -“Can we blow up these wiccan dipshits already I have a mani-pedi at 4”
Pam – “The True Death To Save Bo Peep .. I don’t fucking think so!!”
Andy (Talking to himself) “Don’t go all lost-in-the-woods retarded”