Bountiful Breasts, Slutty Samsungs, and The Darkness Inside Me V””V

Let me start by saying to those that read my vampyric musings, I thank you.  Today’s thoughts may be a little different from the normal as not counting the sarcasm, the vampire references, OK never mind it seems that on second thoughts whilst I have different thoughts flying through my little insomniac head the general feel will be the same.

So on with the show.  As you can see from the heading sleep deprivation and my mind lead to some very interesting connections. Luckily for me I am blessed with a wonderful husband, a few amazing friends both old and new, and a family that includes a father that REALLY understands far more than you would ever expect from an English gent.

Perhaps the title to this blog should have been reversed as the darkness inside seems to be getting top billing but when I reversed it, I found it didn’t amuse me so it has been left. Deal with it! 

As many of you know, I make random remarks on the ever popular Facebook, and I know that many of the people on my “friends” list think I am amusing.  They think my remarks “quirky” and my wit dry, but a very select few of them KNOW that there is more truth in those words than the average person would be comfortable with. 

For those that have watched the TV show Being Human (the UK version, not that pale imitation currently polluting perfectly good tv time), there is a character in Season 2 called Daisy.  She embraces being a vampire far more completely, and with more abandon than perhaps any other embodiment I have seen. I was immediately drawn to her, and her participation in the Box Tunnel 20 Massacre sealed the deal for me which leads me to perhaps my favorite compliment I ever received …..that I make “Daisy look like Mary Poppins”.  Now people saw that and thought it was hilarious but in that moment I knew, really knew, that a connection had been made and a friendship formed for life. I am lucky to have a handful of such wonderful connections who don’t judge me but know the truth.  I guess sometimes the darkness draws the light after all. 

But wait, it is not just friends that can see this darkness that lurks there.  One of the first times I realized how close to the surface it lay was when my father  was working on the sequel to his book Unicorn Witch, which has just gone on sale as an e-book at Barnes and Noble, (check it out here!!!).  As he was writing the second one he got about halfway through and realized that none of the characters written so far would be able to kill without regret should it be required.  His solution? “Congratulations, I just wrote a new character in the book … It’s you!” …… yes my own father recognized it and took it, and used it to his advantage.  This is the same man who recently emailed me to let me know what the nutritional components of blood were if I ever decided that would be an appropriate diet. Indeed!

Of course my partner, my soul mate, keeper of my sanity (what there is left anyway) is my anchor keeping me bound to this side of reality.  Without his love and undying support of all aspects of my life I fear I would long ago have been lost to despair and for that I will never be able to thank him enough.

So with that let me go back to the original topic of Bountiful Breasts and Slutty Samsungs.  I promise there is a story to go with each but the darkness from the insomnia seems to have stolen the first part ….. they have a habit of doing that ….

As a sufferer of some rare and random unnamable auto-immune disorder there are days when the pain is great and the swelling miserable and on a recent Facebook update I commented that whilst everything else was not going well I was pleased to report that my boobs looked great with the extra weight I was carrying.  Now 90% of my Facebook friends that comments sent condolences, sympathy, well wishes, and virtual hugs, but the 10% that REALLY know me focussed on the boobs!! This trend has since continued with Boob based comments flying thick and fast amongst as all.  I blame, of course, my husband, who is a self-confessed boob man because of course it couldn’t be my fault!

So where you might ask does the Slutty Samsung fit into all this.  The Slutty Samsung (also known as miserable whore) is actually my latest phone.  Those of you that follow have read before about my failed interactions with modern technology and its general dislike of me (which dates back to when I was in school …. do you know ANYONE else that gets banned from even walking into a school computer room???). Well my latest cell phone HATES ME!! She, the slut, has decided that she prefers my husband and does everything possible to end up in his hands where she then ceases all obstinate behaviour and acts perfectly.  But I KNOW the truth and the truth has been witness by my friends when my husband is not around …. and the truth is my phone is a possessed, slutty piece of technology that should obviously belong to a man!!! Well Slutty Samsung the war is on!!! Discussions have commenced about possibly trying to depossess or bind the evil thing with magic … but for now I find just turning it off and ignoring it also work.

Which brings me to the end of today’s musings which whilst slightly different and less vampyric than usual hopefully made you smile, or roll your eyes, or just not read. In the words of Cristian Slater … So Be It!!!



3 responses to “Bountiful Breasts, Slutty Samsungs, and The Darkness Inside Me V””V

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