Yesterday whilst talking with a friend on Facebook we got told we were “Coffee Snobs”. So after about a moment’s pause I decided yes, I am indeed a coffee snob. I admit it. I like what I like and have no problem sharing such information with anyone that will listen. I adore Starbucks. I feel that whilst yes I may be paying a ridiculous amount per drink it is my choice and I enjoy it. Luckily I am surrounded by other coffee snobs, (Lauren and Mish you know I adore you both), and whilst they may prefer Organo Gold and Dunkin Donuts to my beloved Starbucks they are just as passionate about getting their coffee made right. No substitutes accepted!
So sticking with the subject of Facebook for a minute, another of my favorite titles is that of Spoiler Whore. I will be the first to admit it. I LOVE my spoilers and I don’t care who knows it. For example by the time that the first episode of True Blood Season 3 aired on HBO my poor husband commented that there was perhaps only 5 minutes of footage that he hadn’t already either seen or heard to expect based on all the spoilers I had shared. From videos, to articles, to rumor, I scour the net wanting to know as much as possible before the show airs and NO it doesn’t diminish for me one little bit. I watch the episodes over and over anyway knowing what is coming next. This knowledge allows me to scour for underlying things that I may have missed the first time! Don’t like it? Don’t have me on your wall! But beware …. delete me and you stay deleted. Next day regrets as you miss my non spoiler based ramblings and snark filled comments on your status updates are to be expected and as I am a “friends only” Facebooker … in the end you will be the one that loses out!
No spoilers for me do not just apply to TV shows …. movies and books are fair game too but even I cannot match my mothers penchant for ruining a book …. she reads the end first! Not only that … if the end fails to match up to what she has decided should happen based purely on information provided on the dust jacket then she doesn’t bother to read it!!! Spoilers I adore but that is a no-no even for me!
Which brings me to another no-no. No talent talent shows. A parent’s nightmare! Being forced to endure 90 minutes of pure torture with perhaps 5 minutes of pleasure. The show in question was especially bad … so bad at one point I swear my ears were about to start bleeding. It should be a prerequisite that if you are going to have an act where you play the piano … you should be able to PLAY something worth listening to. If you claim your talent is singing … you should be able to hit at least 1/2 of the notes you are aiming for …. surely that is not too much to ask!!!!! As I watch shows like American Idol and wonder at the people who audition and how they came to believe that they are talented, the answer suddenly became clear last night. For a parent to fill their children’s heads with delusions is one thing (not a school of thought I happen to agree with but at least I can understand the logic behind it …. sort of …. although it will never replace honesty), but for teachers and outsiders to feed their fantasy dreams or stardom is beyond ridiculous!
The bigger travesty here is that they actually had the children AUDITION for this farce AND TURNED SOME AWAY. For the love of Cain I have to wonder HOW BAD THEY WERE that they failed to be accepted. So as well as singers who could not sing, musicians who could not play, and a cheer that was about as enthusiastic as I was about the arts in school at that point, SOMEONE thought IMPROV and TALENT SHOW were appropriate. Let’s see. My daughter has had to attend several hours of practice for this and my question is firstly WHY??? obviously none of the other acts had bothered … or if they had I hate to think what they were like before …. and HOW TO YOU PRACTICE IMPROV … and IMPROV GUITAR at that!!! Oh wait … it wasn’t IMPROV, but rather a set of practice exercises that you learn before you play any real songs. Yes that is what I want to go and hear.
But wait, the grand finale topped them all. An “Original” guitar piece that started by sampling an old Nirvana song (hmmmmm maybe your little peers and overage parents may not recognise it you horrid little boy but it was STOLEN and not played well to boot!!) …. and just when I thought that couldn’t get any worse he got out a guitar bow and some drumsticks and TORTURED his poor guitar the way I felt my whole body had been tortured whilst sitting there. If I was his parent I would have grounded him to his room, minus all access to musical instruments for about …. eternity … yes by then hopefully he would have learned his lesson,
To finish though I must say my daughter is a star. For those that know me the video proof has been provided, but for those that don’t … well too bad .. my children remain safely sequestered from anyone I don’t know that may be as darkly insane as I am :D. Now if only all parents could be like me and my husband Talent shows would be vastly improved ……..