True Blood Season 5 – My Musings So Far V””V

Well here we are about to see Episode 4 tomorrow and so I thought I would take a few minutes to have my say about what I think about the events that have taken place so far.  Unlike the synopsis posts these are purely my random musings.

Let me start by saying I am very pleased to see that the trailers we saw leading up to Season 5 have in fact produced a very vampcentric start to the season with just a little splattering of “other” supernatural stuff.  This definitely works for me as I have felt that for the last couple of seasons the vampires have almost been forced to take a back seat to the rest of the creatures they felt the need to introduce and at times there were so many stories in play it seemed that a lot of them got shafted with rushed conclusions and forced endings.

This season has started with the introduction of the “Authority” characters.  A team that has been floating around since Season 3 but now we actually have faces to put to them.  Sadly I think they may have been better off NOT doing that.  Even the much anticipated vampire screen debut of Christopher Meloni as the Guardian has failed to elicit much response from me.  The people that they have cast just do not seem to have the “presence” that I was hoping for, in fact that is really required, to play ancient, all ruling vampires.  They have tried to introduce a child, which under the proper circumstances can be chilling, (Kirsten Dunst as Claudia in Interview with the Vampire was positively haunting), but in this case the actor cast comes across AS a child.  I find myself constantly waiting for one of the other members to tell him to go to his room while the grown ups talk!

Saying that it isn’t just the child casting that seems rather lackluster.  The “Authority” idea was a good one and with the right people on-screen it could have been compelling but NONE of the cast has any of the presence that can live up to 1, being a vampire ancient, and 2 even holding their own against the current screen actors.  Even Bill outshines every Authority member in any scene they are in.  Salome comes across as a pale imitation of Lorena despite the fact that she is supposed to have been around since biblical times.  With all the money and resources Alan Ball and his team have access too I fail to believe that this was the BEST cast they could come up with.

The only beacon of hope seemed to be Nora, Chancellor, double agent, Eric’s Sister, and in her debut appearance produced one of the sexiest scenes of the season so far.  I must confess I was hoping for a lot more Eric / Nora action but since that episode the only thing they seem to be using Nora for is torture *sigh*.  Hope they rectify this soon because with the possibility of a Sookie / Alcide hook up we need some serious sexiness back in this show!!!!

I will say that the whole idea of the Sanguinister movement, vampire bible, Lilith, and the other history that is being revealed is definitely my cup of tea.  Although it amazes me that Alan Ball and team can do brilliant research and creativity such as this whilst at the same time completely re-writing the laws of vampire turning!

Yes you guessed it, I am talking about Tara!  What happened there just simply does not fit into the laws of vampire life (unlife?) in any way shape or form.  When she was turned with that amount of head trauma one of three things would have happened. 1, she simply failed to raise.  The damage was too extreme and there was no hope of even vampire blood saving her. 2. she raised completely healed.  She could have been as mad as she wanted and hated everyone (as in episode 3) but she would have been “fixed”.  Or finally 3. she raises but as a slightly “damaged” vampire with more animalistic tendencies than humanistic thoughts.  What Alan Ball and crew seems to have decided is that she was so damaged that the first night she raised she wasn’t quite healed and thus we had episode 2 Tara, animalistic and apparently unable to communicate other than smashing stuff up and then after another death sleep she raises and is coherent again. Ummmmm NO ALAN BALL that is NOT how it works *sigh*!!!! Yes this is really aggravating me. He is even changing his OWN rules!!!

So with that being said the whole Tara thing is annoying me and for a change not just me.  Polls on Twitter opted for her to fry in that tanning bed but we know that Pam is going to save her.  I hope Pam can sort her out, either sort her out or stake her!  But talking of Pam I have to say that whilst I am not at all on board with the whole Pam/Eirc being on the outs thing, I am enjoying the flashbacks to 1905 and when Pam was made.  I am not sure I adore the back story itself per say but I do enjoy the whole period set and the relationship between Pam and Eric is amazing.  It was also great to see Lorena back then too although could have done without Bill and I am still not happy that technically Bill is Pam’s elder although I think this was mentioned before (I do tend to zone out with Bill related facts as they have little interest to me).

So that pretty much sums up the vampires, oh apart from Steve and Jessica.  Steve Newlin, turned we now know by the Authority (which I had already suspected) is excited to be in their inner circle.  Honestly I could pass on the whole Steve and Authority stuff and just have him interacting with Jessica and Jason.  They have definitely provided some of the funniest moments this season! I vote to see more of that in the upcoming weeks.

Talking of Jason he has gone through rather a lot in the last 3 episodes with this week us learning about how he became the sex crazed guy that we have come to know and love.  Anyone else wondering if those cats are more than cats in that crazy teacher’s house?  Perhaps it is just me trying to overlap the books with the show but it seemed a little bizarre.  Just going to put that to the back of my mind for now and let it circulate the idea for a bit.

And in the rest of Bon Temps we cannot forget Sookie and Lafayette.  Sookie is almost a secondary character at this point dealing with the aftermath of Debbie and Tara but little else.  Now that the whole murder is about to come out maybe we will start to see a little more of her, after all in the previews it looks as though Bill and Eric plan on using her to help with their pursuit of Russell.  On the plus side she certainly seems to have mastered her microwave fingers this season!  Oh and poor Lala, not coping well at all and that Demon Jesus left in him has reared its very literal ugly head and wanted to feed the Bon Temps residents bleach!!  Hey may not have been the worst idea they have had :D.

So finally we have Russell.  They have been teasing us and taunting us and after episode 2 I felt for sure we were about to see his emergence but alas not yet.  I think they know we are all waiting for him!!! He will certainly bring some life to the screen although for the rest of the Authority this may not be a good thing as they are getting lost up there as it is, add Russell to the picture and we may just fail to notice them at all! We are still no closer to finding out who dug him up.  I, for once, have no clue at all! For all we knew there were 4 people who knew where he was buried and it doesn’t seem to be any of them which means I am missing something.  Whether this is something that we will be able to look back in hindsight and say Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh Damn it we should have caught that, or whether it is another Alan Ball making up the rules as he goes along we will have to wait and see.

Either way one thing is for sure …. I am along for the ride!!!!




Once Burned by Jeaniene Frost – My Review (Warning possible spoilers) V””V

As June 26th hit I was very excited for the much-anticipated release of Jeaniene Frost’s new novel!  Once Burned, whilst set in the Night Huntress World , is in fact the first book in a new “Night Prince” series about Vlad Tepes who many fans of the series, like myself, have come to know and love during previous Cat and Bones escapades.

With my fascination of all things vampyric it will probably not be much of a shock that reading all things Dracula related has often been a consuming passion but this isn’t Dracula as you know him, this is Vlad Tepes and he doesn’t appreciate you forgetting it.

Jeaniene Frost has woven yet another amazing book with a story that is such a page turner it makes you cringe to think you have to wait a whole year for the next installment.  She has managed to do what I thought would be impossible and find a woman worthy of Vlad’s devotion.  I never thought that anyone would be able to dream up a character comparable to Cat but Jeaniene has managed it.  Leila is feisty, and strong, and has powers so unusual that even Vlad has to stop and take notice.  I loved that she already had experience with vampires so that wasn’t an issue that had to be addressed, and the chemistry between them sparked as hot and bright as Vlad’s burning fingers.

Murder, mayhem, threats, and torture are just par for the course with a vampire novel but this has an edge to it that will keep you guessing with every turn of the page.  The passion is electric ,(in more ways than one), and the drama concludes with just enough of a cliffhanger to leave you wanting more without leaving you so frustrated that the book gets thrown across the room.

I would imagine that with a basic vampire based knowledge you could read this book as a stand alone but I guarantee that you will enjoy it a whole hell of a lot more if you read it AFTER reading the rest of the Night Huntress tales.




True Blood Season 5 Ep 3 Whatever I Am, You Made Me Synopsis / Review V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans, Firstly let me apologize for the delay in this weeks posting.  Life here has been a little hectic with a visit from my Lovely Lauren from Missouri and then just general chaos preventing me from getting on here. But I am here now and ready to go with Episode 3, Whatever I am, You made me! (For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet.  I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines)

Episode 3 starts us off with an Interview With The Vampire moment with Tara seeing things through her new “Vampire Eyes” as she heals from her encounter with the silver Febreeze spray at the end of episode 2 (With Sookie and Lafayette in pursuit but no match for her new-found vampire speed).  She realizes how much she can see and hear with her new senses and as she comes across a stranded motorist she realizes she is HUNGRY!!!  Just as she is about to rip the throat out of the very pathetic woman begging for her life Tara see’s a cross hanging from the rear view mirror and takes off at super vamp speed (She certainly mastered THAT skill quickly!)

With Tara running crazily through the woods we turn to see what is going on over at the Vampire Authority headquarters and the debate is still in progress as to whether or not Bill and Eric are going to meet the true death (My vote is going to go with NOPE lol).  Can I add at this point that this whole Authority cast is just not really working for me.  Alexander (The child) is childish, Rosalyn the redhead is dull, Dieter and Kibwe are less annoying but have yet to really do much and Salome just reminds me of a less interesting version of Lorena.   Anyway I digress …… so the debate rages on as the possibility of Russell still being alive causes much panic as he is of course the poster boy for the anti mainstream movement.

With the decision made not to stake them at the moment everyone leaves apart from Roman and Salome and he gives the order to send in the new “Nan Flanigan” and guess who it is … none other than the Reverend Steve Newlin!  I KNEW The Authority was behind his turning!!! So Steve is in full smarm mode saying all the things he thinks Roman wants to hear, disparaging the humans he was so recently one of and he gets rather a sharp wake up call.  The Authority as it stands is all about respecting their human heritage and Roman makes sure that Steve realizes just how young and stupid he is … with a nice healthy dose of fear!

Talking of fear it seems that the Authority has a few other tricks up its sleeves other than the whole silver injection torture as bill and Eric find out when they go to get strapped into their iStakes.  Yes you read that right, it seems Apple is even used in the vampire world.  This nifty little gadget (controlled by an ap of course) is strapped to the vampires chest and then a mini stake can be activated at any time just by a click on a cell phone.  It also lets them track where they are, who they are eating, etc etc and is of course unbreakable being resistant to fire, water, and any other force that a vampire could think to throw at it.

Sookie, in the meantime, is still on the hunt for Tara and she goes to Fangtasia to try and enlist Pam’s help.  We find Pam (looking FABULOUS!!)  showing off her texting skills that are easily a match for Franklin! (Oh hilarious … I just typed that and on the HBO Go Extras that just popped up … Amusing!).  So Sookie is trying to convince Pam to help and Pam is less than amused convinced that something has happened to Eric and it probably involves Sookie. Sookie being the persistent little annoyance she can be keeps insisting until Pam loses her temper and throws her across the bar. Amusing as that was I don’t think anyone expected Sookie to use her microwave fingers and attack Pam with a ball of light throwing HER across the room. Hmmmm Sookie seems to have rather fine control over those fae powers lately. 

With Tara obviously not at Fangtasia we get to see where she headed, the one place other than Sookie’s that she probably feels safe.  Merlottes where Sam is there to greet her and whilst surprised he handles it with normal Sam coolness taking her in and giving her bottle after bottle of True Blood.  I mean seriously she must have drunk through 12 bottles and was still going when the daylight sleepies hit and she just collapses.  Sam to the rescue again and he scoops her up and carries her to the walk in freezer.  I am sure Pam would approve 😀

Daytime in place and it’s all go in Bon Temps.  Over at the police station Andy discovers that there is a naked picture of him floating around the net from his encounter with Holly, and whilst he is stressing at everyone about that in walks Mr and Mrs Pelt, having been called in to discuss their missing daughter since her car was just discovered.  The Pelts also pay a little visit to Alcide to ask if he knew anything and they find out that he abjured her.  They certainly have a different view of how their little girl behaved but I have to agree with her mom that even Debbie would take her money with her!!

Over at the supermarket, Jason, who obviously has the day off, runs into one of his old teacher who we quickly learn he had more than the normal student / teacher relationship.  In fact he credits her with making him the lover that he is today and when she tries to convince him it was wrong they end up back at her place (complete with crazy cats) and back where they both started.  Afterwards though, despite Jason being the one to initiate it all, he gets hit with the sudden realization that maybe everything about how he goes about things is wrong and that is why he feels such an emptiness. So off he runs leaving his poor ex teacher naked and confused and probably traumatized for life.  Oh well not much we can do about that.

At Merlottes (with Tara still in the freezer complete with note on door warning people to stay out) Work continues as normal and when I say work I mean Arlene whining about what is going on with Terry.  As we know from the previews Terry is about to go off and get himself into a whole load of trouble but all he will tell Arlene (after saying he will tell her as much as he can) is that he is going somewhere with Patrick … right now! He can’t tell her where, he can’t tell her what they are going to do, and he can’t tell her for how long, which leaves Arlene in tears as Terry walks out and Sookie and Lafayette walk in to ask her if she has seen Tara causing Arlene to just run to the ladies room. 

Sookie heads to Sam’s office where Sam is half asleep in the chair but gets up to talk to Sookie in perhaps the funniest scene of last night.  Knowing her mind reading abilities he decides to think about her boobs while she is talking to him unfortunately he reminds himself to think of boobs instead of the walk in freezer which is all the clue Sookie needs to work out what happens.  Not a big shifter fan but Sam is just so understanding in this scene it is really cute.

And the problems are just starting at Merlottes with Andy investigating the missing Debbie Pelt.  Sookie holds it together during her questioning but Lafayette in the background is definitely beginning to freak out more than a little bit.  With Sookie’s questioning over Andy moves on to Holly and it looks like he is about to freak out over the picture of his rear end that is floating around but he starts by showing her Debbie’s picture (which she hasn’t seen before) and then just shows her the picture and is actually pretty cool about the whole thing.  Who knew??? Then in a round about way he asks her to go steady with him … awwwwwww … rather dull but kinda cute nonetheless.

Back over at Fangtasia, yes during the daytime, we get to see Pam sleeping in her coffin and we get a lot more of the flashback that was started last week.  I love these scenes!!! In this one Eric has paid a visit to Pam’s brothel and he is being shown all her “girls” but his only interest is in Pam and although she puts up a slight protest she changes her mind when Eric says that he knows everyone has their price.  It turns out her price is to stop the murdering of her girls who happen to be being drained by other vampires.  And what a surprise when we see who those vampires are.  It is the lovely Lorena and a very newly turned and hilariously full of himself Bill.  Extremely amusing as Lorena is acting far more demurely than we have ever seen her and Bill is totally on the offensive obviously with no idea as to how vampire laws really work.  Pam shows a bit of the spunk we have come to know and love when Eric tells them to apologize, she adds that they also have to pay for each of the girls that they have drained and Eric just raises an eyebrow. Lorena apologizes and Bill runs away in typical Bill fashion and Lorena heads after him.  Pam and Eric kiss and we fade back to reality with a single solitary blood tear running down Pam’s face in her coffin as she sleeps. 

Back at Authority Headquarters Salome is up to no good and her first target is Bill.  She is out in full seduction mode and Bill is eating it up with a spoon.  We get to learn a little of Salome’s history with the fact that she was in fact the Salome mentioned in the Bible but in reality she was a misunderstood girl with a very messed up family.  It all ends with  a sex scene very unworthy of True Blood.

Over in Bon Temps Jessica is out shopping for new clothes and after exchanging a few words with the owner about Jason  (who of course Tracy has slept with) when in walks Claude (the fairy we saw briefly in the Season 4 premier, brother to Claudine who Eric ate last season), and Claude smells GOOD to Jessica!! She completely loses it and tries to chase him down but luckily for Claude fairies are fast and he manages to get away.

While Jessica is playing “hunt the fairy” poor Hoyt is obviously heartbroken and goes to Fangtasia all gothed out.  I know this shouldn’t make me laugh but it does!! It just looked sooooooooo WRONG!!!! Pam recognizes him as Jessica’s and tries to warn him that he will get eaten alive reeking of desperation the way he does but apparently that is all part of Hoyt’s plan. The sight of Hoyt’s desperation cues Pam’s second flashback of the night picking up after she has slept with Eric and they are resting in bed.  It is a truly beautiful scene and you can see the connection between them even then (which is why this whole Eric and Pam being on the outs just DOES NOT WORK FOR ME!!! DO YOU HEAR ME MR BALL??).  So anyway …. Pam asks Eric to turn her stating that the life that she has is not worth living and that she has no future worth living for.  Eric is reluctant  stressing the responsibility that comes with being a maker but Pam is resourceful as ever cutting her wrists and giving him the option to let her walk the world with him or to stand there and watch her die.  Well the rest is history!

Talking of Eric, back at Authority Headquarters Salome is at it again but this time with him.  She is waiting for him in her bedroom and has obviously set her sights on sleeping with him too.  She knows about Eric and Nora’s connection and all about Godric and taunts him that he has a choice and a chance to save her.  Eric resists for a while and for a moment there I actually thought he was going to turn her down but as with most men he succumbs *sigh*. Which set’s Bill up for perhaps the funniest line of the show when he says Eric had “Sloppy Seconds” Ewwww!!!! What an image!!! Not as bad as for poor Roman though who was heading there right after Eric.

Whilst all the frolicking is going on poor Nora is being tortured by the annoying redheaded Rosalyn.  Nora holds out really well until they bring up Eric’s name and then she confesses that she is in fact a supporter of the Sanuguinister movement.  Now whether she really is or not as yet remains to be seen but if you ask me that movement looks a whole lot more fun than the mainstreaming one!!! As Eric pointed out in Season 1 to Bill’s description of Tru Blood …. it will keep you alive but will bore you to death. Hmmm think I would be all about passing on that!! Give me the humans lol.

Jessica, having been unable to catch her fairy, goes to visit Jason because she decided she needed sex.  But poor Jason is feeling all weird after his earlier encounter and can’t go through with it.  he tries to get Jessica to leave but she proves that she does really care about him and goes and changes into some sweats so that they can just talk because she wants to be his friend.  Awwwwwwww.  These two really are cute together!! I love how we have seen Jason grow over the last 4 seasons!!

And so we head to the Alan Ball fuck with your head first moment of the season!  We see Arlene walking into the freezer at Merlottes just as Tara is awakening for the night and we see Tara RIP ARLENE’S THROAT OUT!!! Blood everywhere ….. and then Tara wakes up to Lafayette holding a bottle of Tru Blood under her nose.  Damnit Mr Ball you got me for a second there.  It was like the Jessica / Hoyt moment all over again.  Most excellent.

While Lafyette is trying to deal with a very pissed of Tara in the freezer, Alcide is outside the door trying to warn Sookie that Debbie may be after her.  Sookie tries to brush him off but it turns out Alcide isn’t all stupid after all, quickly realizing that first she seems not to care about Russell and now Debbie?? Something is wrong….and no sooner than Sookie says nothing is wrong ….. Tara makes an appearance and EVERYONE is there to see it, Arlene, Alcide, Sam, Sookie and Lafayette.  Tara throws some words around and then takes off AGAIN leaving Sookie to try and calm Alcide. In the meantime Arlene decides to give Lafayette grief about him letting Tara get turned and the result is the first emergence of the demon that entered him during Marnie’s possession and he tops off the gumbo with about half a gallon of bleach!!  He catches a glimpse of his demon self in the mirror and pulls it together enough to tip everything down the sink but I have a feeling that there is a lot more of this to come.

Outside Sookie explains to Alcide the events that happened in the kitchen and Alcide is understandably not amused mainly because he was going to be looking for her and Sookie was just going to let him.  To make matters worse Sookie takes that moment to ask what Alcide plans on doing with the information.  Stupid girl!  Even I know Alcide wouldn’t do that!

And to finish off the night we see Tara heading into a tanning salon and decides it is a good time to hit the tanning bed.  Someone should have told her that a stake would be a much better option … although to me this is the equivalent of a little cry for help with none of the real intention there. What Tara failed to take into account with this little plan (or maybe it is what she counted on all along) is that Pam can “sense” that she is in trouble and let’s just say Pam is not very amused.  The episode ends with Pam rolling her eyes and saying “You Stupid Bitch”!

Overall a pretty good episode.  I am already rather annoyed by the whole Authority thing and wish they would just get to the good Russell stuff already.  I was hoping after the little glimpse last week that he would be back in action this week. Whilst I adore the whole Pam / Eric history I dislike the actual story especially the fact that Bill is Pam’s elder although I think this was mentioned before (season 4) but as with a lot of facts I don’t like I think I just blacked that one out. Loved seeing Lorena and would LOVE to see a bit more of the four of them in the past!!  Roll On Sunday!!!



Memorable Lines From Whatever I Am, You Made Me

  • Pam – “You haven’t done shit for me Tinkerbell!”
  • Pam – “What are you looking at …. Go back to dry humping each other and buy more overpriced drinks or get the fuck out!”
  • Steve – “Humans are not rational … they are motivated 100% by fear”
  • Authority Gadget Girl – “You Guys Are Too Cute To Be Goo”
  • Salome – “The Human Bible … it’s little better than US weekly”
  • Tracy (Tracy’s Togs) – “God gave that boy a penis and brain and only enough blood to run one at a time”
  • Eric – “If you had any idea the responsibility that comes with being a maker you wouldn’t dare ask!”
  • Eric- “Becoming a maker is an eternal commitment, greater than any marriage, deeper than any human bond, to throw that away is sacrilidge!”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 00.43 – Vamp Skill : Sight
  • 01.57 – Vamp Skill : Hearing
  • 02.27 – Vamp Skill : Strength
  • 03.42 – How To Be A Vampire (Video)
  • 05.29 – A Real Humanitarian
  • 05.47 – Bill and The Authority (Video)
  • 06.15 – Relive : Fast Fingers (Video)
  • 07.34 – Taking Pam Down
  • 07.48 – Relive : Girl Fights
  • 08.49 – Tara and Sam (Video)
  • 11.52 – The New Newlin (Video)
  • 12.25 – Relive : Bill and Eric’s Topless Adventures
  • 12.13 – True Triva : Who’s That Girl
  • 12:36 – True Trivia : Who’s That Girl
  • 12:41 – True Trivia : Who’s That Girl
  • 15.11 – Sympathy For The Vamp (Video)
  • 18.49 -A Tough Pill To Swallow (Video)
  • 20.50 – Relive : Boobs On The Brain (Video)
  • 22.19 – A Special Connection (Video)
  • 24.14 – Everything Has Its Price
  • 25.06 – True Secret : The Origin Of Pam
  • 27.34 – The Oxford Werewolf Dictionary
  • 27.40 – The Oxford Werewolf Dictionary
  • 30.38 – Relive : Lafayette-isms
  • 32.17 – Andy’s Game (Video)
  • 32.29 – True Score : Hookups
  • 37.24 – True Score : Hookups
  • 37.34 – Vampire Intimacy (Video)
  • 39.52 – Now Playing : Transistor Mon performed by Mark Slade
  • 40.21 – Hoyt’s New look (Video)
  • 43.01 – Making Pam (Video)
  • 44.35 – Relive: Godric Makes Eric (Video)
  • 44.52 – Second Look : Salome’s Boudoir
  • 45.54 – True Score :  Hookups
  • 54.18 – True Score : Hookups
  • 54.28 – Banging Salome (Video)
  • 55.22 – Demon Mask

True Blood Season 5 Ep 2 Authority Always Wins Synopsis / Review V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans, here we are at Episode 2, Authority Always Wins! (For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet.  I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines)

This week’s episode picks up right where last week’s left off with crazy new vampire Tara attacking Sookie while Lafayette screams at Pam to DO SOMETHING!!!! To which she replies in typical Pam fashion ….. “I am … I’m laughing!!” Hilarious! She does, however, step in once it looks like Tara is about to drain Sookie dry and grabs her off all the time complaining that she has better things to do and can’t be dealing with Tara all night.  She tells Sookie her part is over, she “made her” and now it is up to Lafayette and Sookie to deal with her.  Pam does issue a maker command forbidding Tara to bite either of them so that might help a little.

After throwing her in the house and telling her to stay there Pam takes off and Tara reacts like a caged animal smashing up everything in sight with her new-found vampire strength. Poor Gran’s kitchen is never going to get a break is it!  Sookie and Lafayette decide they have to go in and talk to her which is going to be easier said than done. When Tara takes a break from totally destroying the place to perch like a predator on the sink, Sookie tells Lafayette to “Grab Her!”.  The look on Lafayette’s face is just priceless!!! Oh Nelson Ellis is a GENIUS!!! LOVE HIM!!!!  But anyway grabbing her is a failure and she takes off upstairs to find new things to smash leaving Sookie and Lafayette to wonder what to do next.

This next part actually takes place much further into the episode but I am going to keep it all in blocks together this week because that is the kind of mood I am in lol (That and Mr Ball actually has just a couple of stories going on so it is a little easier to do at the moment).  Sooooo Sookie realises it is getting near dawn and they need to get Tara down into Eric’s cubby.  At this point it is pretty clear that reasoning with her is not going to be an option so instead they concoct a crazy scheme where Lafayette goes in and cuts his arm to distract her and then Sookie catches her around the neck with a silver chain.  Amazingly enough it actually works and they manage to get her into the safe place for the day.  

Over in a yet undisclosed location (We learn later it is in New Orleans) the “Authority” is arriving at their headquarters with prisoners Eric, Bill, and Nora.  The outside looks like a huge abandoned warehouse but once we go inside we see that it is in fact a fully kitted out secret vampire headquarters complete with secret doors that open with a “blood key” and technology that looks as though it may belong more in a mission impossible movie than in True Blood.  Once through the “cover” part of the warehouse you get to see a vast underground operation complete with reception desks, people milling about trying to look important with various files, in fact it reminds me a lot of Wolfram and Hart from the old episodes of Angel.  We get to meet Salome (one of the Authority) who thought Eric would be taller *Rolls eyes* and she is unimpressed by Mora’s claims that she would never betray them calling her words fairy tales.

The three “traitors” are tossed in to vampire prison cells where we get to meet a very deformed looking vampire who apparently likes to eat babies (so probably a good thing he is in there then).  It soon becomes clear that the reason for his deformity is an overhead UV light that they Authority throws on when it wants information that the vampires may be unwilling to give up.  Oh and it isn’t just your personal cell that gets zapped, oh no they zap the whole block as we find out when Bill tries to take the blame for everything on himself.  The Authority isn’t buying that at all (probably because it is a total lie) and everyone gets zapped a couple of times (not that it seems to do any good … they still aren’t talking and baby eater looks like he has been zapped so many times he can’t even heal anymore).

Back in the woods where we left Alcide last week with the crazy wolf pack eating Marcus’s body things are not going well because Alcide doesn’t want to be pack master and he sure doesn’t want to join in with the eating.  Martha thinks this is totally disrespectful and Alcide really couldn’t care less.  He just wants to leave.  Despite many insults he refuses to be goaded into a fight. Luna takes Sam home and we see them later that night at Luna’s house as she cleans him up.  When Luna goes to check on Emma Martha appears at the door and claims she just wants to talk.  Luna comes back and is unamused especially when Martha reminds her that she is Emma’s grandmother.  She points out that when Emma turns she is going to need a pack because she is a wolf although Luna is holding on to the hope that Emma will be a shifter.

They make Martha leaves and Sam becomes Luna’s point of attack when Sam suggests that he is looking out for what is best for Emma too.  Luna has obviously taken some psycho pills and totally flips out and tells Sam to leave. Later that night we get to see that Emma is in fact a wolf … as she has turned into the cutest little wolf cub and is sitting there as a cub in Emma’s PJ’s!!!

Over at Fangtasia, Pam has returned to find Ginger upset that she had to open by herself but Pam is more worried that there is no news at all from Eric and she calls to leave him a voicemail. This cues into a flashback to Pam in San Francisco in 1905 where she is working in a brothel.  We get to see a little of Pam’s former life with her finding one of her fellow “girls” dead in a room before she heads out into the streets.  There she gets accosted by a man with a knife who doesn’t want to wait until the next day to sample her pleasures.  Eric rushes to the rescue looking very dapper in a top hat and Ascot and promptly slashes the man’s throat with his own knife splattering Pam with blood in the process (not that she seems to bothered).  A quick comment from Eric about Pam not being scared and Pam replying that she has seen a lot of death and Eric vanishes into the night at super vampire speed leaving Pam alone looking on with wonder.  I was hoping we would get more of this story tonight but I guess Alan Ball know’s he has us hooked and so will be dragging this out!

Over on the other side of town there are problems of a different kind for Terry and Arlene.  Now that Patrick is back it seems to have triggered some kind of major PTSD breakdown for Terry who we find just standing in a trance by the bed until Arlene finally manages to get his attention enough for him to then lay down and go to sleep and then later he attacks Arlene while they are at work before he realises what he is doing!  Arlene can’t take it and goes to see Patrick and ask for his help which Terry is very unamused about but it sets us up for Terry and Patrick to go off on a little adventure to try to sort out “ghosts from the past”.  I imagine over the next couple of weeks we will get to learn more about what we saw in the sneak peek.  Hmmmmm would be nice if Rene felt like making another appearance!

Daytime hits and Jason and Andy are investigating an abandoned car .. which turns out to belong to Debbie Pelt. Oh you know that isn’t going to work out well!!  Andy finds “V” in the car but does the right thing and gives it to Jason rather than drinking it.  Looks like he really is trying to change.  Back at the station Andy deals with that little “ticket” issue from last week and Jason gets a visit from “Crazy Sharon’s” son who informs him that because Jason slept with his mom their family is now splitting up.  This obviously gives Jason pause for thought, well as much pause as Jason ever has, and Andy takes the kid out with a warning to Jason to stay away from Holly.

Sookie is taking the opportunity to visit the “Stake House” and stock up on various “Anti Vampire” supplies.  The best of these looks like one of those air fresheners that sprays as you walk past, only instead of spraying some nice smelling scent actually sprays colloidal silver guaranteed to cause severe burning to any vampire that comes into contact with it. You also get a glimpse at the “old Sookie” powers coming back into play with her reading  the shop clerks mind and making him uncomfortable by mentioning what she had heard.  So she goes back home to set it up and is just finishing when she has to stop Lafayette from staking Tara while she is at rest for the day.  Sookie promises that it will get better and that they will make it work and explains how bad Jessica was in the beginning.  Lafayette  doesn’t look convinced but does leave Tara alone and hands over the stake.  At the end of the day he may end up regretting that because when Tara wakes for the night she informs them both that she hates them for what they let her turn into and then she takes off running but not before she sets off Sookie’s new security silver getting her nicely burned.  So Tara has run off into the night going who knows where… that can’t be good

Back over at the Authority Headquarters the prisoners have been split up and it is interrogation time.  We get to learn that the Vampires have a bible and believe that they were in fact made in God’s image when Lilith was created and that Adam and Eve were created for food.  They have Bill and Eric strapped up to a device similar to the injections used on death row but in this case it injects silver.  Bill’s interrogator (Dieter) reminds me of a misguided priest and their whole discussion was at least fairly interesting and Bill didn’t fall for the old “Eric already told us everything trick” so ended up in complete agony from the silver.  In the other room Eric has the “pleasure” of Salome for his questioning.  She reminded me of a very poor imitation of Lorena and Alexander Skarsgard completely dominated the scene with perhaps more pain being felt when he thought that they had killed Nora than from the silver being injected into his veins.  Either way the whole process was rather futile and the prisoners were returned (somewhat damaged) to their cells.

Over at last years vampire headquarters (Also known as Bill’s Mansion) Jessica is in full party mode although is looking rather bored with it all as she holds a keg above a college students head as she “chugs” away.  Perhaps more amusing was when she dropped the keg to go and usher a girl who is about to vomit out of the house with a look of pure annoyance.  As she opens the door to throw the girl out there is Steven Newlin who invites himself in and joins the party.  Oh he is hilarious!! The dancing, the high fives, all totally ridiculous but enjoyable to watch.  Jessica quickly gets to the reason Steve is there and they head into the office to talk.  It turns out that Steve wants to “buy” Jason for $10,000.  Jessica finds this rather amusing and ups the price to $20,000 with negotiating skills debating Jason’s butt!!  Steve is eventually convinced but then Jessica laughs and says that she doesn’t sell her friends.  This annoys Steve and he tries to attack her and pulls her hair (yes he fights like a girl) but Jessica is stronger and throws him out with his parting remark that Bill is no longer the king!  Jessica then throws all the annoying humans out too!!

Jason goes to visit Hoyt who is back at his mother’s house which apparently means Hoyt has to prove he is a man by dropping the fuck word as many times as possible in the shortest space of time.  Maxine is unamused but makes a show of sticking up for Hoyt and throwing Jason out all while secretly thanking Jason for splitting Hoyt and Jessica up and promises to bake him a pie …. as she yells at him and throws him out the door.  Personally I am over Hoyt moping around and his whole sulky attitude and am I the only one that remembers in Season 1 Jason and Hoyt  weren’t that close with Jason yelling at him for calling him Jay?  It was only after Rene died that they suddenly became best friends and then a whole new back story seems to have been invented.  Hmmmmm just a thought …..

Finally we finish the night back at the Authority headquarters where we finally get to see Christopher Meloni’s debut as the leader of this strange organisation (Roman).  They are conducting some kind of “vampire mass” which incorporates a lot of very interesting vampire law but sadly in my opinion this new vampire leader just doesn’t really work for me.  With so many powerful performances he really needed to have an “edge” to him that i felt was lacking.  I just didn’t believe him in the role.  Actually almost all of the Authority was kind of just blah.  The child seemed like a child rather than an ancient trapped in a childs’ body, Salome, as I already mentioned comes across as a pale imitation of Lorena, and over all I feel this was an opportunity lost.

Eric and Bill let it be known that whether they meet the true death or not Russell is out there and overall the Authority agree that they might need to use them to try and get this little problem sorted despite Roman’s overwhelming desire just to stake them.  For a governing body that seems to have so much access to everything you would have thought they would have been tapping Eric’s phone at least so that they would already know this but I guess this was seemed a little more dramatic.

Oh and right at the end we see Russell, still a little dried and crispy with bodies strewn on the floor around him but he is healing ….. and when he does … LET THE FUN BEGIN :D!!!

On the plus side the vampire theme is definitely continuing to be a governing force so far this season (although we are only 2 episodes in) and I have hopes from the previews that this will continue.  I am glad that Nora wasn’t killed and I am hoping for some more Eric / Nora action in the future!!! … Until next week ……………….


Memorable Lines From Authority Always Wins

  • Lafayette – “Do Something!” Pam – “I am … I’m Laughing!!!”
  • Sam – “She just lost her son”   Luna – “She just ATE her son!!”
  • Jason – “That’s getting to eat the pie without having to pay for the cow … it’s a win win”
  • Redneck Clerk at Stake House – “It Burns It Burns … I’m gonna leave you alone and go eat your neighbour”
  • Steve Newlin – “I’m here to tell you, Jesus loves vampires. I mean, anyone who’s been dead for three days knows where we’re coming from.”
  • Jessica – “Hey Idiots, you’re boring me …. .go back to your human lives before I eat you!”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 00.53 – A Maker’s Power : Commanding
  • 01.24 – Learning To Vamp (Video)
  • 01.54 – A Maker’s Power : Calling
  • 02.14 – A Maker’s Power :  Releasing
  • 02.34 – A Maker’s Power – Sixth Sense
  • 04.00 – True Secret : Made to Order
  • 07.26 – Base Instincts (Video)
  • 09.47 – Best Scene Ever (Video)
  • 10.19 – Now Playing – Hat and Cane performed by Adam Saunders and Mark Cousins
  • 11.30 – Before She Was Turned (Video)
  • 11.48 – Call Me (Video)
  • 16.25 – Hothead Lovers (Video)
  • 17.31 – True Story – Tara’s Brain
  • 19.17 – Relive – Only Good On The V
  • 19.32 – Second Look : The Stake House
  • 20.09 – True Story – Redneck Casting
  • 23.59 – High Stakes (Video)
  • 24.39 – Power Hungry (Video)
  • 24.51-  First Draft : Airport Bait
  • 25.17 – True Law (Video)
  • 26.08 – Relive : Another Notch In The Bedpost
  • 27.22 – True Love :Dressed To Kill
  • 28.29 – True Secret : The Real Pam
  • 32.28 – Bible Thumpers (Video)
  • 33.54 – Good Cop or Bad Cop
  • 35.13 – It’s Complicated (Video)
  • 35.24 – Now Playing – Hang It Up performed by The Ting Tangs
  • 35.36 – Trespassers Will Be Staked
  • 36.15 – True Secret – Sweet Moves
  • 37.53 – Buns of Platinum (Video)
  • 40.54 – The Fixer (Video)
  • 42.31 – Mama’s Boy No More (Video)
  • 43.16 – Second Look : Dangerously Cute
  • 45.59 – Meeting The Guardian (Video)
  • 47.47 – Vamp Govt. 101 (Video)
  • 50.47 – Trouble With Authority
  • 52.12 – True Secret : The Near Stake

True Blood Season 5 Ep 1 Turn Turn Turn Synopsis / Review V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans, after almost a year of speculation about what will happen next, hours of going over spoiler clips, teases, and any other snippets I could find, last night was finally the night.  Season 5 had its premiere showing and for the most part it was worth the wait!!!! (For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet.  I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines)

At the end of Season 4 we were left we several cliffhangers (for a full reminder click here), some of which we get answered in Episode 1 which is great for me because it provided instant gratification.

Season 5 starts a few moments before where Season 4 left off.  No 12 1/2 month gap this time!!  We briefly see Sookie’s car pulling up to her house before it flashes over to Bill and Eric dealing with the aftermath of killing Nan and her gay storm troopers. Bill is letting Jessica know that he will be away for a while and “his palace is her palace” (Oh yes Bill you really don’t remember what it is like to be a teenager … BAD IDEA), but more amusingly in the background you see Eric using his super speed to completely clean up everything, complete with blue marigolds (Rubber gloves for you Americans)  With moves like that he can come and clean my house ANYTIME!! Think he would even put my husband to shame and damn that man can clean….. anyway I digress. 

 Cleaning in full swing over at Bill’s we flash back to the scene that ended the season last year, Tara getting shot and Sookie killing Debbie.  What they didn’t show last year was the fact that both Bill and Eric react to Sookie’s fear but Eric says “Fuck Sookie” because she rejected them but Bill takes off anyway only to be captured by silver nets and when Eric rushes over to help Bill (Not a sentence I ever thought I would be writing), he is captured too (We are assuming at this point by “The Authority”.

So Tara is dying (dead?) in Sookie’s arms, Lafayette comes running downstairs and while they are working out what to do Pam comes rushing in looking for Eric and after some snarky dialogue (some listed under memorable lines at the bottom) she eventually agrees if Sookie agrees to try to fix things between Pam and Eric AND owe her a favor.  We do learn that the spell from last season did die with Marnie ….. a cop-out answer but at least it is an answer that I can stop stressing over.

As Pam tries to save Tara we head on over to Jason’s house where at the end on Season 4 a naked Jason had just opened the door expecting to see Jessica and was met with Reverend Steve Newlin … with fangs! Jason tries to apply his basic knowledge and not look Steve in the eye to avoid being glamoured but after a sob story about what a pathetic vampire he is Jason looks up and as we all know, one look is all it takes and Steve get’s his invite in and then convinces Jason that not only did he invite him in he thought that having his mouth Duct Taped was a good idea.  Oh Jason *sigh*.  So with Jason convinced it was all his idea Steve releases his glamour …. and professes his undying love for him.   Hilarious!! even better was Jason’s response (once Steve removed the tape) that it was one of the best I love you’s he has ever heard but that he just doesn’t “Bark that way”!!! Steve is FURIOUS and goes to attack him and reminds me heavily of Franklin with his order to “LOVE ME”, but in rushes Jessica to save the day declaring “JASON IS MINE!” (well makes a change from Sookie lol).  Jessica at this point finally seems to have a slight grasp on how being a vampire works, she explains that she is older, her daddy is the King and is out-of-town leaving her basically as the Queen so he can get out or die.  Jason remembers he can help and rescinds his invitation leaving Steve flailing out the door with a last echoing call of I lovvvvveeeeeee yyyyooooouuuu.  HILARIOUS!!!

Cliffhanger 3 from the finale, Sam and his wolves.  Well he is surrounded but manages to convince one of them to shift back to human so they can communicate which they do but then after a few words Sam see’s he is in real trouble and shifts to an own and flies off.  he heads over to Luna’s house to warn her and Emma where obviously the pack catch up with him and he agrees to go with them as long as they agree to leave Luna and Emma alone.  More on that a bit later.

Over at Sookie’s house they are getting ready to bury Tara in the ground with Pam (who is un-amused at the whole situation, especially her Walmart yellow sweat suit), but things are not looking good as Pam complains that Tara smells.  As Pam says, that can’t be a good thing.  When Sookie tries to point out that she thinks Pam is doing it wrong (not holding Tara), Pam points out that she has done this before even though it didn’t turn out very well.  Now many of you may be surprised by that as in Season 3 when everything is going wrong Eric tells Pam he thinks it is her time to be a maker.  Well my True Blood fans Pam has told us once before about the time she was a maker.  It was in the “Extras” commentary on Season 2 Episode 1.  She says she turned a guy before, in England, but that didn’t work out.  Something that has never been mentioned in the show but I can’t imagine it being something Eric wouldn’t know.  Continuity error?  Did they forget their extras?? Something lurking to come up and bite us later??? Who know’s with Alan Ball but at least Pam is sticking to her story that being a maker may not be her strong suit.  Anyway they are buried and Sookie and Lafayette get to play wait and see. (Oh since writing that one of the Extras on this episode just popped up the fact.  Well as I typed it all I am leaving it there lol).

With all that excitement going on it is time to catch up with Bill and Eric who are trapped in the trunk of the car being driven by 2 people that we assume are Authority members.  We get to see Bill and Eric trapped in the trunk discussing their situation and they actually manage to work together to engineer an escape.  Not perhaps the best escape on record as it involves blowing up the car while they are still in it, but it is an escape none the less.

So the car blows up leaving an injured Bill and a much less injured Eric who won’t leave without helping *rolls eyes* yes the “bromance” has begun, but all seems to be in vain because as soon as they stand they are confronted with one of the Authority members who simply asks “who wants to die first”.  Luckily for our boys their attacker gets staked from behind by the OTHER Authority member who turns out to be “Nora” (Played by Lucy Griffiths who as a side note played Marion in the UK Version TV Series of Robin Hood and I ADORE HER!!!) … anyway what was I saying .. oh yes Nora, Eric’s sister (sired by Godric), and they have a very warm reunion much to Bill’s surprise.  Eric and Nora are HOT together!

The three leave and wander down a pier to discuss what will happen and Nora lets it known that she understands the risk but she will do anything for Eric and Eric affirms that he would do the same should the situations be reversed.  hmmmm well she is far more interesting that Sookie so this is working for me :D. She explains how the Authority has factions and not everyone is on board with the current agenda and while she makes a phone call Eric explains to Bill that not even Pam knows about Nora … hmmmmmm interesting ….

Back at Sookie’s there is still the Debbie Pelt body to deal with which she does with a shower curtain and Lafayette barely holding himself together which actually seems to improve when Sookie tells him that she decided to kill Debbie and that she had time to think about what she was doing and did it anyway because she wanted her dead.  Well Sookie I told you that when she attacked you in the bedroom … if you had listened to me yelling at the tv set you never would have gotten in this mess!!!!  After Debbie they have the sad task to going over to deal with Jesus because apparently that hasn’t been done yet.  Lafayette is mourning that Jesus deserved better than a shower curtain but this soon becomes rather irrelevant as Jesus’ body has gone. No answers on that one this episode so after a few minutes grieving alone (insert falling apart) they head back to Sookie’s to clean up. After Sookie having her moment of weakness in the shower, Lafayette soaks in the bath and we see him crying and looking at a razor …. don’t do it Lala … remember Jesus said keep breathing!!!

While Lafayette soaks there is a knock at the door and Sookie rushes down to see Alcide waiting there.  Oooooh this should be interesting.  She has no option other than to invite him in and tries to get him into the living room but of course he appears in the kitchen.  Great little scene where they discuss how clean the kitchen is as Sookie quickly kicks a missed tooth under the fridge!!! Awesome!!  Of course Alcide is there to let her know about Russell and try to convince her to move in with him for a while for protection.  Obviously she can’t and is about to explain why (REALLY SOOKIE?????) when Lafayette bursts in with a shaved head (Phew no body in the bathtub) and completely gets up in Alcide’s face not even then least bit intimidated by his growling. (Did anyone else want to say DOWN DOG!!! or was that just me???)

Over at Terry’s the soldier that we met at the end on season 4 is staying with them and bringing up stuff Terry does not want to talk about.  remember when Rene made his appearance and warned Arlene about the ghosts of Terry’s past not being happy?  I am thinking he was talking about actual ghosts!!! The fire that we thought Mavis had set appears to have been set by a ghost related to something that happened while Terry was serving.  There have been 2 other similar fires and those people are now dead!! Wonder if poor Lafayette will have to channel this one!

Poor Sam is being tortured by the wolves and they are getting nowhere until Mama wolf comes in and makes it clear that if he doesn’t say where the body is they will not only kill him but will go after Luna and Emma too.  Obviously Sam can’t have that so he takes them to the grave where they dig up Marcus and are about to replace the body with Sam when Luna shows up with Alcide who claims that he did it so is now the pack Alpha.  Obviously some people are not happy with that (including Pack Mama) and they decide to start EATING Marcus’s body. Well Ok then ….. Hotshot flashbacks anyone?  I am guessing that they are trying to “Ingest” some Alpha Power?  Well I am sure that is not the last we will see of all of this!!!

Now that night has fallen Lafayette and Sookie are waiting for signs that Tara will rise… but nothing is happening.  So we head over to Bill’s house where Jessica is throwing a party.  Typical college type stuff which reminds us that though she seemed to have a handle on everything when dealing with Steve she is still just a teenager at heart.  She is getting her flirt on when Jason appears at the door and invites himself in to join the fun.  It is like a mexican stand-off. Jessica flirting with the new guy and Jason being annoyed and Jason flirting with a cute college girl who is annoying Jessica *rolls eyes*.  When Jessica finally starts kissing the new guy Jason takes that as his cue to leave, which he does, with the cute college girl but they only get as far as the car before Jason has second thoughts and we hear how he really is trying to be a good guy and so nothing happens.

Of course with it being night that means Eric, Bill and Nora can start to put their plan in action and apparently part of that plan is some damn hot sex between Nora and Eric!!! WOW!!! Far sexier than anything that ever happened with Sookie.  Sadly they are interrupted by a phone call from Alcide (DAMN THAT WEREWOLF) letting them know that Russell has escaped. (Quick flash to see a person being thrown in obviously to be eaten by Russell)  Not that there is much that they can do with the knowledge so they go on with the plan and go meet the “extraction crew and get their new identities.  Eric’s is Ike Applebaum!!! Oh that’s funny and not just because Eric is very unimpressed but all I can think is Ike A … Ikea….Swedish furniture!! Wonder if that was deliberate???  OK so they get their new papers and they are about to board the boat to wherever when suddenly bullets are flying (must be wooden as vampires start exploding) and spotlights come on and there is this BIG MOVIE THEATER PREVIEW type voice announcing that “In the name of  the one true vampire Authority, in whose wisdom and justice all is made manifest by God ….Do not fucking move!!”  I swear it was so over the top it reminded me of the start to Bill and Ted’s Excellent adventure concert scene at the end…. but anyway yet they are now caught, Nora and all!

finally back at Sookie’s where Lafayette and Sookie have been waiting hours and NOTHING!! Not even Pam has risen (which should be a clue that things are PROBABLY about to happen but no this is when Sookie realises they haven’t had food so Lafayette goes to make them something. YOU KNOW that things are going to start happening now!!!

Pam emerges from the ground moaning that there is dirt in her bra and not caring whether the transformation has worked or not.  Sookie starts digging (Pam points her towards the head) and when she finds Tara it appears that she is still dead.  Cue the sad music and Sookie crying, Lafayette appears and starts crying too while Pam calmly drinks her Tru Blood and watches all the sadness (Have I mentioned I LOVE Pam lol). But wait …. just when you think it is all done Tara springs from the ground and looking FURIOUS goes to attack Sookie who just has time to scream “LAFAYETTE” before the credits role!!!!  Oh Mr Ball you remembered how to do cliffhangers!!! FANGTASTIC!!!

Other things that happened that  I felt were pretty irrelevant – Holly’s kids catch her and Andy in bed together (Yawn)

 – Andy gets bribed by a judge to cover the judge’s son’s speeding ticket (guessing this will come up at a later date)

 – Hoyt is still mad at Jason about Jessica and that doesn’t look like it will improve any time soon.

 All in all I have to say I LOVED this episode …. it is one of my favorite premiere episodes of all 5 seasons.  I LOVE the passion between Eric and Nora!! I love that this whole season looks as though it is going to be very vampire centric with a dash of wolves and maybe a splattering of ghosts … I can deal with that!!!


Memorable Lines From Turn Turn Turn

  • Pam – “Color me impressed, you guys know how to party!”
  • Pam – “I can’t be the only one who’s noticed she is missing half her head now can I?  Even if I try what’s to say she won’t rise up  out of the ground tomorrow night completely and utterly  fucktarded”
  • Steve – ” I am a gay vampire American and I love you Jason Stackhouse!”
  • Eric – “We fight like siblings but we fuck like champions”
  • Lafayette -“How the fuck you think you can protect her from an ancient pissed of vampire when all werewolves do is piss off vampires even more!”
  • Jason -“Everything we was feeling that entire song….. that was real!”

HBO Go – Extras

  •  1.00  – Sookie’s Rejection
  •  2.59 –  Sookie’s Fairy Vagina (Video)
  •  3.17 – How To Turn A Vampire Step  One
  •  3.41 – True Blood Vampire Teeth Fact
  •  4.14 – Weird Is A Relative Term
  •  5.24 – True Story – Fang Novice
  •  7.03 – How To Turn A Vampire Step Two
  •  7.39 – True Secret – Pam’s Progeny
  •  8.17 – What’s Hot and What’s Not (Video)
  • 10.19 – Relive Jason In Captivity
  • 11.42 – Relive Happiness Is A Warm Gun (Video)
  • 13.27 – Licking Allowed (Video)
  • 13.50 – Now Playing – Silly Love Songs By Paul McCartney and Wings
  • 14.15 – Spooning with Skarsgard (Video)
  • 14.49 – True Story – Junk In The Trunk
  • 18.06 – Relive Mission Accomplished (Video)
  • 20.19 – True Trivia : Sookie’s Car
  • 23.18 – Did You Know
  • 24.09 – Andy Gets Lucky (Video)
  • 24.49 – True Trivia : Scott Foley
  • 27.54 – True Secret – Sookie’s Stairwell
  • 29.24 – Now Playing : You’re So Mean by Bill Scarborough
  • 31.24 – Now Playing : The Soul Train’s A Coming by eBlues Highway
  • 32.11 – A Good Bromance gone Bad (Video)
  • 37.53 – Now Playing :MDV Serenade by Blee
  • 39.28 – Eternally Underaged
  • 42.01 – Mama Needs A Drink
  • 42.07 – Now Playing :Cherry Bomb (Guitar hero version) by The Runaways
  • 43.20 – Now Playing :Feels Like The First Time (Guitar hero version) by Foreigner
  • 45.29 – Sexual Evolution (Video)
  • 45.50 – True Story – Dog Wolves
  • 47.21 – Rubber Marcus (Video)
  • 50.52 – How To Turn A Vampire Step Three

Kiss The Dead By Laurell K Hamilton – My Review (Warning possible spoilers) V””V

So June 5th was the release of the latest Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Novel (#21) – Kiss the Dead by Laurell K Hamilton and I just could not wait to get my hands on it.

Those of you that know me may be a little surprised to see that I read a series about a “vampire hunter” and I will confess that I was put off by that for the longest time but after hearing so many great things I decided I had to give them a try and I never looked back.

This book was no exception and I read cover to cover without putting it down (something that very few authors can entice me to do).  We had already had a deleted “tease” scene in the form of “Beauty” earlier this year and let me say for all of those looking for true erotica you would, in my opinion, be better off reading those 20 pages than trying to read 50 shades of grey.

In this book Anita continues to try to balance her work with the preternatural police force and her very tumultuous love life. The book starts with a 15-year-old girl who has gone missing and the suspicion that a rogue vampire clan has abducted her.  I was thrilled to see that Anita is finally getting some of the respect she deserves with regard to the police force and that even though some of them may not like her, the people putting themselves of on the line with her at least give her respect and trust in the field.

Anita is a dark, dark, character and has become even more so as the series has unfolded and the experiences she has had to go through and she has started to accept that sometimes there is only the better of two bad choices and although she still struggles with some of the things she has to do, she does them and then struggles afterwards.  She is finally learning to exert some finer control over her “powers” and that actually enables her to save people who would otherwise have been lost.

New characters are introduced and old characters show their flaws, but Anita’s “family” remain as loyal as ever and in her house it really is Lions and Tigers but no bears (yet lol) Oh MY!!!!!

I have read a lot of negative comments as the series has gone on about the way that Laurell chooses to write and all I have to say is that ANYONE with a penchant for the darker side wouldn’t want her writing any other way.  There are so few authors out there that come even close to visualizing the darkness that lives inside my head and personally I await with bated breath for each and every installment she cares to share with us.

New True Blood Season 5 Character Posters V””V

So over on The Vampire Loving Dorks Facebook page I have been posting a countdown to the new Season 5 of True Blood featuring cast characters and have been getting requests for various other cast members.  Entertainment Weekly just posted a whole new set of picturs so I have made a S5 character collection from them.  As the VLD Facebook page has a “No Shifter” policy I figured I would post the collection here and people could snag the characters they like.  Please note ALL pictures are ScreenCaps and Posters from the TV show True Blood on HBO and Entertainment Weekly ONLINE  and I make NO CLAIMS that these are my own. V””V