Greetings and Salutations fellow True Blood fans!! Can you believe we are almost half way through Season already??? Insanity!!! So without further ado let’s get on to this week’s Episode 5 – Let’s Boot and Rally and what went on! (For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet. I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines)
At the end of last week’s episode we left a very drunk Sookie and slightly less drunk Alcide getting hot and heavy and that is where tonight’s episode starts off. Now all you furverts out there I am sure you would have LOVED to have seen some wolfie action but for me what happened next was far more entertaining! Whilst they do in fact make it to the bedroom, Alcide looks at Sookie and says I have waited so long for this, to which Sookie gives him a longing look ….. and then vomits all over his feet! Oh I laughed so hard I had tears!!!!! FANGTASTIC!!!! Even better, Eric and Bill appear in the doorway just in time for Eric to comment on how well Alcide treats a lady!! LOVE IT!!!!
They head downstairs for a nice little “chat” and the plan seems to be Sookie looking inside Doug’s head (the parking lot attendant that works for Alcide) to see if she can force her way past the glamour and discover who in fact freed Russell. Sookie is not convinced she can do it and all 3 males decide they are Alpha which provides a cutish moment with still semi drunk Sookie peeking through her fingers and seeing them all just barking at each other which causes her to have a fit of giggles and say the line that has been floating around the previews for weeks …. A 3000 year old vampire wants to suck my blood …. must be Thursday! … which would have been funnier if she had said Sunday but whatever. And off our little search party goes …….
On the other side of Bon Temps poor Lafayette is not coping too well with the demon inside him. he is freaking out that he could have killed Sookie and decides the best course of action is to talk to all his little religious figures. Sadly for him they all decide now is a good time to talk back and they don’t have anything encouraging to say so Lafayette smashes them all to the floor and stomps on them telling that he is a good person (possibly not the best way to prove this) and he continues stomping and ranting until the pieces are just too small to answer back. He pleads with Jesus to give him a sign because he needs some help but believe me he may regret asking for a sign from Jesus late this episode!
Out in the middle of nowhere Terry and Patrick are still being held captive by the crazy guy in the hole and Terry realizes that maybe this trip was not such a great idea. Really? You think so Terry?? I could have told you that BEFORE you left but then I watched the spoilers :D. We get to see more flashbacks as to what happened and long story short (as this storyline is boring me) is that there is a fire demon curse called an IFrit which was called by one of the women they killed as she lay crying over her son. Terry admits that he believes in it too and Brian releases him and Patrick but Patrick thinks it is plan by terry and promptly knocks Brian out and ties him to a chair despite Terry’s pleas. Of course as soon as Patrick and Terry leave the IFrit appears and burns Brian to death and you know it is going after Terry and Patrick next.
Now Jason and Andy as you may recall got “Fairy zapped” at the tail end of last week’s episode and we start to see what this may have meant as Jason “Wakes Up” wearing some very sexy He Man pajamas on Christmas Day with his parents and a very young Sookie. The facade soon fades though as they are eating breakfast and his parents necks start bleeding from obvious vampire bites. When Jason mentions something his mother suggests he might rather have sex to make him feel better at which point Jason’s cell phone rings in the “real world” and wakes him up. It is Rosie about work and we get to see that Jason is naked as he goes to get ready for work. Also naked is Andy Bellefleur passed out on the couch and discovered by Arlene who gets to see far more than she would like to. His phone is also ringing but we don’t get to see any weird dreams from him which is fine with me as we seem to be seeing far more of Andy this season than anyone EVER really needs to see!
So Jason and Andy have been called to investigate the shootings of Sam’s friends and Andy makes it quite clear to Jason he does not want to discuss any of the whole fairy stuff. He also is not too impressed to learn from Sam that the victims are shifters too not that the information is going to help with the investigation any. Poor Andy is just on supernatural overload between this and the fairies although his main concern seems to be Holly finding out about his little one night stand with Morella.
After some actual investigating they find a silver filled, wooden bullet in a tree which leads Sam to suspect that perhaps these people are after supernatural creatures, maybe even vamps. After all we have all seen what a wooden bullet can do (remember Franklin??). Now so far we haven’t really seen much about who else might know about supes other than vampires but it looks like Mr Ball has a plan up his sleeve to reveal something new. A little nod to the books perhaps with the shifter shootings?? Jason is now obsessing over all the supernatural killings that may have been going on without “humans” having any idea about it and everything just being written off.
Back at Fangtasia Pam has leant Tara some fabulous clothes and a very unimpressed Tara is put to work at the bar. Now this “hard ass” Tara is already annoying me. I think she is even more annoying now as a vampire than she was as a human and that takes some doing! Even Pam’s interactions with her are not as appealing this week with Tara generally just being stupid and within 5 minutes of being behind the bar Pam has to stop her from draining a human. Really? Is Tara THAT stupid? Pam gives her the lecture just as Jessica walks in which leads to a little girl bonding between the younger vamps with Jessica explaining all the good parts about being a vampire. After all she too was turned without consent and as she says she had to put up with Bill as her maker … at least Tara got Pam!! Towards the end of the little interlude Tara seems as though she may be starting to see that this doesn’t have to be the end of the world after all.
Our little search party has picked up Doug and Sookie manages to get enough information out of Doug’s head to allow Bill and Eric to work out that it was a female Authority member that freed Russell and of course Bill immediately suspects Nora ; who is currently still doing her little prayer routine about how the warriors of Lilith will be coming despite the Authority keep attacking her with the UV. Talking of the Authority, they are bored with waiting and decide that having tracked Bill and Eric and they apparently benign activity, that they will have until dawn to find Eric or their iStakes will be activated. Molly (we met her when she fitted the stakes) gets to call and give Bill and Eric the news that their countdown has been activated.and lets just say they are none too happy about it but we do get to see a test of the ap which causes their iStakes to glow.
With Sookie taking directions straight from poor Doug’s head (who still isn’t remembering any of it) the five of them head towards the place where Russell has been staying. We get to see flashes through Doug’s eyes as to how Russell was moved (apparently carried by the poor unsuspecting Doug) and they pull up to what looks to be an abandoned insane asylum (rather fitting). We finally get to see a spark of “Book Sookie” as she takes charge and insists on going in as she points out that she is the one with the microwave fingers which is the only thing that seems to have worked so far against Russell and perhaps more importantly for her she needs to pee!
Whilst all that is going on Salome takes us to that secret room at the back of the Authority meeting room as we discover the Guardian there looking at a vial of blood which is supposed to be the original blood of Lilith. Whilst I applaud Mr Ball for the idea of the history I have to say I am rather over the whole Authority thing now. Bring on Russell and let the fun and games begin. Roman rabbits on about how even he finds his routines to be a farce blah blah blah, honestly neither of these people hold me attention on screen and what they have to say seem to has very little effect on anything anyway so really they are just taking up valuable screen time.
Back at the asylum poor Doug looks as though he is about to pee his pants at any minute and Alcide notes that wolves have been there which is not really a surprise as Bill points out – they come with Russell. Following a trail of rats and body parts (and a little more guidance from Doug) they find the room filled with bodies that have obviously provided the food for Russell’s recovery. We also get to see a vampire equivalent of a walk in fridge with a bunch of still alive humans hanging in straight jackets from hooks all apparently just waiting to be eaten. Now don’t get me wrong, they don’t seem very happy about this and it is about the last straw for Doug who ends up cowering in the corner, but it does amuse me that none of the search party think to help them down and just leave to continue searching for Russell.
At Fangtasia Tara is on a break and runs into Gothed out Hoyt who apparently hasn’t been tortured enough yet and Hoyt tires to get Tara to bite him. It seems as though Tara is going to do the right thing and tells him to go home to his mother but moments later we flash to the Fangtasia bathroom where Tara is chowing down….. with Jessica doing the same thing to a girl in the next stall!! So Jessica hears Hoyt and totally freaks out and here is where it gets totally ridiculous! Mr Ball needs to work out what his rules are going to be AND STICK TO THEM!! A couple of weeks ago Jessica dominated in a fight with Steve Newlin who was made by one of the original Authority members and let us not forget that she was trained quite extensively to fight werewolves. So tell me this … how on earth is Tara, a real newborn babyvamp not only holding her own but apparently giving Jessica a good fight?? Just doesn’t make any sense what so ever! VERY ANNOYING!!! I have thought about it and tried to find a way that this could happen but there just isn’t one, other than inside Mr Ball’s crazy little head!
Brief time out for some seriously messed up stuff now. Lafayette wakes up to a vision of Jesus’ head with mouth sewn shut sitting on his dresser obviously trying to ell him something. Remember I told you Lafayette may not want the sign from Jesus after all. My guess is that remember his body was missing when Lala and Sookie went to bury it? I am going to say that Jesus’ crazy grandfather has it, probably summoned somehow when that demon was released, and is using it for some bad voodoo! If not him then it would appear we have more magic and mystery to come. Perhaps even more strange is that Ruby Jean gets to see the same vision but she can somehow understand what he is saying and promises to get the message to Lafayette. Sadly her way of doing this seems to be to just yell at Lala who is nowhere near her current location. Let’s hope that somehow she works out that she needs a phone!
Sam has been released from the crime scene and rushes over to Luna’s to tell her what is going on. Despite her insisting that it is a bad time when she hears what happens she invites him in and he fills her in. As he goes to leave he is walking across the yard truck pulls up filled with people in president’s masks (Anyone else get a Point Break flashback here?) and one of them shoots Sam in the stomach and he falls to the ground. The shot obviously alerts Luna who comes rushing out and then she gets shot twice, once in the arm and once in the stomach and she falls to the ground just as Emma comes running out but Sam yells at her to run and she changes into her little wolf cub and takes off while the men in the truck are still taking shots but we see her escape. the camera pans out to show Sam and Luna on the ground and it looks as though Luna is dead and Sam is not far behind (although I doubt they will kill him off … Luna … well who knows)… and the truck drives off.
A brief boring quick flash to Roman babbling on about how should they be willing to extend the idea of Lilith to try and prevent a war blah blah blah …. basically should he listen to Salome and bend a little seeing as several members of his little elite group have been lost already. Whatever! After a long speech he basically says no and that they will continue as they were.
Finally we get to the moment we have all been waiting for … we get to see Russell, apparently healed and witty as ever. Not in the least intimidated by Eric standing over him and in fact he seems quite pleased to see Sookie. He tells Eric to “give it his best shot” and Alcide disappears grabbed by something which causes a distraction and here I am thinking OOOOH we still have over 10 minutes left .. this should be good … AND IT ENDS!!!! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT??? NOT KEWL AT ALL!!!! Grrrrrrrrr
And so we have to wait another week! What is up with Jesus appearing as a head? Is Luna dead? Which Authority member released Russell …. oh yes and that other stuff with Jason, Andy, Terry etc too. Oh and I suppose I should throw Tara in as well but Mr Ball seems to be letting her get away with everything so enough said about that!
Memorable Lines From Let’s Boot and Rally
- Lafayette – “Compared to all the evil out there, I am good enough, Better than most!”
- Sookie – “A 3000 year old vampire wants to suck my blood …. must be Thursday!”
- Sookie – “Do you mind terribly if I take a little peek inside your head?”
- Jessica – “We will be young – forever”
- Sookie – “First of all I have seen enough horror movies to know you don’t split up when you are in a big scary asylum and there is a crazy killer on the loose!”
- Andy -“Wooden bullets kill shifters?” Sam – “Sure but so do regular bullets”.
- Eric – “New York City smells like pee and the people are rude”
HBO Go – Extras
- 00.19 – Alcide loses his shirt in …… 3
- 00.24 – Alcide loses his shirt in……..2
- 00.29 – Alcide loses his shirt ….now!
- 01.00 – You Make Me Sick (Video)
- 01.19 – Sook-Ups : Bill
- 01.39 – Sook-Ups : Eric
- 03.58 – The Demon Inside (Video)
- 04.59 – True Love : He-Man Jammies
- 05.54 – Relive : Jason’s weird dreams (Video)
- 06.05 – Who Is Rosie?
- 08.49 – Must Be Thursday (Video)
- 09.14 – All Dolled Up (Video)
- 09.47 – Love (Video)
- 10.44 – Or Hate (Video)
- 11.34 – True Secret : Emaciated Russell
- 14.33 – True Blood Shrine
- 17.31 – The Oxford Supernatural Dictionary
- 21.11 – Did That Just Happen (Video)
- 22.23 – Now Playing : Rescue performed by Echo and the Bunnymen
- 22.31 – Snoop inside Fangtasia
- 25.29 – Relive : Vamp Angst (Video)
- 25.59 – BVFs (Video)
- 26.08 – No Happy Endings (Video)
- 29.39 – These Bros Go Way Back (Video)
- 30.50 – Russell’s Wolves
- 32.39 – True Secret : Rat Wrangling
- 33.53 – An Easy Target (Video)
- 34.17 – Jessica’s Vlog : Big Vampire Sisters (Video)
- 37.55 – IFrit Bait (Video)
- 38.54 – True Trivia : Lafayette’s Mom
- 38.59 – True Trivia : Lafayette’s Mom
- 39.04 – True Trivia : Lafayette’s Mom
- 43.11 – Bang (Video)
- 45.57 – He’s Back (Video)