True Blood Season 5 Ep 9 Everybody Wants To Rule The World Synopsis / Review V””V

Greetings and Salutations fellow Trubies (or my random blog followers). Here we are at Episode 9 and just when things had been building up nicely I have to say this episode, for me at least, fell kind of flat.  Probably because less than 1/4 of it .. yes you read that correctly, was about the vampires! Dear Alan Ball and crew …. did you FORGET the original premise for the show?  Normally at this point there is a little disclaimer about my spoiler reviews and the length and detail they go into but this time it is a bit different.  As this episode contained a whole lot of filler that did not interest me in the least (save for the fact that it did seem to effectively FINISH 2 of the ever-growing list of storylines so they can just be OVER) I have decided that this will be split into summarizing (and my thoughts / bitching)  the 3 main storylines going on with the odd other bits I feel deserve mentioning, oh and the werewolf stuff too …. suppose I should mention what is going on with that.  At least part of it ties in with the vamps!  I did still list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and kept the new for this year HBO Go added online extras time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

When you break this week’s episode down, as I said, you really have 3 main things going on.  1. The Vampire Authority / Sanguinisa plans to take over the world, 2. The whole Obama / Shifter shooting storyline, and 3. The Terry / Patrick / Ifrit ridiculous smoke monster issue…… with honorable mentions to Lafayette and Pam in their scenes.   As the only one that interests me out of those main 3 is the first one let’s take these in reverse order.

As we know from last week the spirit of the woman that cursed Terry and Patrick has come up with an acceptable solution to let one of them live. Well this drags on through much of the episode with Terry going off to find Patrick, who in turns decides he is going to make the first move and kidnaps Arlene and holds her hostage at Merlottes.  When Terry arrives they argue, Arlene eventually stabs Patrick with a pencil (seems to be a recurring weapon in True Blood), and then Terry gets Patrick at gunpoint on the floor.  Suddenly Patrick is all about family and doing the right thing as Arlene screams frantically to shoot him. The ghost appears and tells Terry to “do the right thing” which turns out to be shooting Patrick twice in the head.  This makes the ghost happy as the debt has been paid in blood and the smoke monster / iFrit thing, comes out and devours Patrick’s body leaving just a puddle of blood on the floor. Well that is a much easier clean up!  And thus hopefully ends one of what has to be the most pointless, time-wasting storylines this season!

Before we get to the shifter shooting stuff a brief mention of Sookie. After her crazy encounter with the vamp “spirit thingy” has called the wonderful Lafayette to see if he a sense something going on.  Now after the build up last week this vamp entity doesn’t make any appearance this episode at all but I have to say Lafayette in this scene was awesome! I love seeing him back with his season 1 pizzazz and flinging around some amazing lines.  Pretty much every line out of his mouth in this scene could have ended up in the best lines!  Whilst he fails to sense any weird vamp spirit he does discover that there are a whole lot of ghosts around in Sookie’s bedroom and they ALL want to have their say.  He, however, is only interested in listening to Gran.  She tells them to look under the bed where there is a box that Sookie has gone through many times but this time she realizes when reading one of the newspaper clippings that Bud Dearborn investigated her parents death. (Oh so that explains the apparently random appearance last week … knew there had to be a True Blood type reason for Andy’s visit).

With Hoyt missing and Luna irritated, everyone seems to be researching the whole Obama / shifter shooting.  Jason and Andy are doing things the police way (which apparently includes beating the hell out of a prisoner to get no information), and have worked out that they need to know who the “Dragon” is so they can put a stop to it.  Luna and Sam turn up at the police station and are told to go home but Sam has a better idea and they turn into flies and hover to get the information as it comes to the Police’s attention.  This actually doesn’t take long as whilst watching hate videos they notice that one of the Obama’s are wearing boots …. line dancing special boots …. given on his retirement.  Yep Bud Dearborn is an Obama. 

Sadly Sookie wasn’t in on this conversation and she was doing her own investigation into her parents death with no clue what she was getting into.  Bud’s new girlfriend knocks her out with a frying pan and ties her up and dumps her out in a pig pen with Hoyt one stall over, unconscious with no idea what is going on.  When Sookie comes around we learn that Bud’s girlfriend is Sweetie Des Arts (Nice book reference) and she is in fact that Dragon and started her hating when her ex preferred a shifter to her.  Her answer to everything is to drug Sookie with some Oxycontin laced ginger ale and then throw Sookie and Hoyt for the pigs to eat all whilst filming it for their Humans For America website. 

This probably would have been a good plan save for the fact that Sam and Luna were already there, disguised as pigs, and Sam catches Sookie as he transforms to human much to the surprise and annoyance of the Obamas.  After safely depositing Sookie on the ground a very naked Sam fights most of the Obamas but Sweetie takes off chased by Luna who is now a German Shepherd.  With the chase going on outside Andy and Jason finally show up with reinforcements just in time to save Sam as Andy shoots Bud in the chest and kills him.  The remaining Obamas soon surrender and Luna catches Sweetie and beats the hell out of her.  Hey I would have to for threatening my daughter!  Hoyt is severely injured but is taken to the hospital and we assume he is going to be OK.  If not just call Jessica and have her bring over some vamp blood.

Well that would appear to be the end of that storyline so that is 2 of them finished with (one hopes) for the season.  Of course all is not over with shifters as Emma has been staying with the wolves after the whole Martha stepping in to help her bit.  More on that in the vamp bit coming up but a brief mention of Alcide.  This week all we see of him is him off licking his wounds (metaphorically speaking) and he is heading back to Jackson to see his dad.  We get a rather pointless (in my opinion) flashback to him and Debbie as children being initiated into the pack, and then we get to see him at the end with his dad who is gambling and drinking in a trailer somewhere.  I am assuming we will get to learn more about that next week.  Oh joy … I can hardly wait!

Oh yes almost forgot and Sookie goes home and is watching the Tru Blood stuff on the news when her family fairies turn up …. as we only see them for a minute and they let Sookie know vampires are behind it all I am guessing they are going to be around to help next week too.

And so we get to the actual part that I WAS interested in.  The vampires.  The episode actually starts with the council members all standing around the table with a naked man spread out ready for them to eat.  Russell suggests a prayer that Steve supplies (a hilarious stupid thing that doesn’t amuse Salome at all) which is then followed by Salome chanting something far more religious sounding… and then they all eat.

In the entry office we see Molly (the little technical iStake expert) trying to access the elevator but we discover she doesn’t have high enough clearance.  She knows something is up and Eric corners her in a room and with the help of one of her little gadget that allows them 30 second surveillance free chat they come up with a crazy plan that will enable them both to escape.

Eric confronts Bill over his, what Eric thinks is, playing along, but it immediately becomes clear that Bill seems to be a little more involved than Eric thought claiming that he actually wonders if God was a vampire.  Eric does however go over the plan which is going to turn out to be a huge mistake.   The other part of Eric’s plan seems to involve convincing Nora that he wants to believe.  Now this to me was the perfect opportunity to put in some Eric / Nora nookie!  We are definitely lacking of the sex this season and what they have given us other than episode one has been dull dull dull!!!  And tonight is no exception.  Instead of Eric and Nora we get a boring scene with Bill and Salome, who becomes Sookie, and then Lilith, and then Salome again. Well at least we see that Sookie didn’t actually sleep with Bill again so Praise Lilith for that I guess.  Ugh seriously who is directing these scenes??? It used to be that you could say no it’s not porn it’s True Blood but the last few seasons it has been yawnsville!!!

While all the boring sexscapades and lack thereof are going on Russell and latest boy toy Steve are heading to see JD and the pack celebrating JD becoming the new packmaster.  Russell decides to join in these celebrations by opening a vein and sharing his blood with the pack who all lap it up excitedly …. except Martha.  Martha sits back with Emma which immediately draws Russell’s attention when she decides not to join in despite his personal invitation.  Russell decides to respond by taking Emma and giving him to Steve as a pet.  JD does try and protest only to realize what a stupid mistake he has made because Russell OWNS them now!  Silly dogs!!! Thus Steve and Russell leave with Emma much to the anguished screams of Martha. Hmmmmm I am guessing Luna is going to be none to happy about this little development!

Quick trip here to Fangtasia to check in with Pam and the crew and Tara is worried about stockpiling Tru Blood as the factories are all getting destroyed and things are about to get ugly.  Pam explains that the last thing Fangtasia wants to do is not serve the Tru Blood that they have so that their vampire patrons do not eat their human ones and when the Tru Blood is gone vampires will do what they have done for years.  Pretend and then feed discreetly in private!  Sadly there seems to be one flaw in those plans.  A Marilyn Manson looking vampire called Elijah who is sitting on Eric’s thrown openly feeding on a human.  When Pam confronts him Elijah tells her that he has been appointed as the new Sheriff and that drinks (as in humans) are on him.  Oh this isn’t going to be good.  Let’s hope Eric finds a way to escape.

Sadly that is not looking too good as the best laid plans have all gone wrong.  Molly and Eric have managed to subdue Nora and are about to leave with her but were trying to wait for Bill and Salome’s blood that he was meant to be bringing.  As Eric uses an unconcious Nora’s finger to open the elevator Bill arrives much to Eric’s relief but that relief is short-lived as the elevator doors open and there inside is  Salome complete with a whole contingent of guards.  Oh Bill you TRAITOR!!!! Ugh I can’t stand him!!! Him and his smug little look he shares with Salome.  STAKE THEM BOTH!

And so we have just 3 episodes to go.  The preview for which look awesome but so have they all.  With at least 2 of the storylines concluded I would normally be saying let’s hope for some bloodlust and craziness.  Praise Lilith. Kill the humans! But this would put me on Bill’s side and so I don’t think I can do it.  How about we stake Bill and then see how I feel?  Just a suggestion!  True Blood is once again trying to push the relevance of tolerance in today’s society as its main theme but to me the whole comparison with the KKK and messages there felt forced and too blatant. Perhaps now they have a more mainstream audience (with over 10 million fans) they feel that subtlety is no longer an option.  The messages more cryptically placed and hidden to me are far more provocative but so be it.  I sadly feel that boundaries are not being pushed when things feel so shoved down your throat but it will not stop my obsession or my love of the show.  It just makes for slightly sadder observations.

I will still be sitting there come Sunday waiting for 9pm and my weekly fix to come on and in 3 weeks time when the finale is over I will still be lamenting the fact that I have 9 months to fill with re-runs and net scouring for spoilers, forever a trubie!

V””V

Memorable Lines From Everybody Wants To Rule The World

  • Eric – “Prayer is a fairly new concept to me”
  • Eric – “Put the baby fangs away before you piss me off”
  • Eric – “I don’t speak techie”
  • Lafayette – “One fine ass motherfucker with new eyelashes”
  • Lafayette – “I ain’t Gmail for dead bitches – send your own Goddamn messages”
  • Eric – “We’d better get back to slaughtering people in the name of God”
  • Lafayette – “Dead folk – why you gotta be so cryptic”
  • Russell – “Did you think my blood was free … you silly silly dog!”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 01.37 – True Blood Terror (Video)
  • 01.45 – True Trivia : Other Supes
  • 01.51 – True Trivia : Other Supes
  • 01.56 – True Trivia : Other Supes
  • 05.14 – I Ain’t Whoopi In ‘Ghost’
  • 07.51 – A Brighter Future (Video)
  • 09.24 – A Real Pain (Video)
  • 09.34 – The Last Ghost Lady
  • 12.42 – Boundaries (Video)
  • 15.10 – Second Look : Jason’s Frame
  • 18.08 – Keep America Human (Video)
  • 19.28 – Now Playing : First One In The Car performed by The Wallflowers
  • 21.45 – Pack Rules
  • 22.10 – Now Playing : Ain’t Life Hell performed by Hank Cochran and Willie Nelson
  • 25.05 – What’s With The Pigs?
  • 25.44 – Shifting Pros and Cons : Fly On The Wall
  • 27.16 – What’s With The Pigs?
  • 28.13 – Actor Pigs (Video)
  • 31.24 – Eau De Sweetie
  • 32.09  Dragon Dressing
  • 33.28 – Second Look – Square Dancin’ Chic
  • 35.04 – Teacher’s Pet
  • 37.29 – Relive : Bar Brawls
  • 39.47 – Born Again (Vide0)
  • 42.36 – Diva Pig (Video)
  • 43.10 – Shifting Pros and Cons : Always Naked
  • 44.55 – Carrying A Torch (Video)
  • 45.10 – Right At Home (Video)
  • 46.57 – Now Playing : Acrobatica performed by Losers
  • 47.44 – New Sheriff In Town
  • 49.47 – Duelin’ ‘Dos
  • 52.02 – Now Playing : Walk To Georgia performed by Grant Langston
  • 52.31 – True Trivia: Alcide’s Dad
  • 52.36 – True Trivia: Alcide’s Dad
  • 52.41 – True Trivia : Alcide’s Dad
  • 55.42 – Now Playing : Everybody Wants To Rule The World performed by Care Bears On Fire
  • 55.59 – End Of An Era (Video)
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