Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again …… and here I am again .. and let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!
Still with me? Right there here we go!! At the end of Season 5 we were left we several cliffhangers (for a full reminder click here), some of which we actually get resolved in the premiere. Awesome!! So much more gratifying than the whole dragged out stuff … well for me anyway.
At the end of S5 we saw Bill die and dissolve onto to reform from the pile of Goo. then we saw it from Eric and Sookie’s perspective but S6 starts us with the views through Billith’s eyes. Eric and Sookie are making a run for it and Billith seems to have gone a little insane and is more interested than tearing through wires and destroying everything than actually chasing them. Sparks are flying and it obviously isn’t going to be long before the whole building blows up.
Sam, Luna and Emma are escaping in the other direction but remember I said Luna didn’t look too good at the end of S5 … well she dies … or at least we are lead to believe she is dead and Sam runs off with Emma after promising he will keep them safe. Hmmmmm I don’t know something just felt off about that. As much as I felt it was her last skin walk when she was Steve Newlin this just felt weird. Maybe I am reading too much into it … but having a vamp just kick at her and say “it’s dead” seemed a little overkill. Sam makes it back to Merlottes with Emma where he finds Lafayette waiting and learns that Luna’s transformation has been all over the news. Lafayette is just awesome. He takes poor Emma off to eat something fried, dipped in sugar, then fried again and promises not to tell anyone he saw them there.
But I digress from the vamps …..
With that chaos continuing in another part of the Authority headquarters we get to see the crazy group of vamps (plus Jason) trying to get past all the guards that don’t quite seem to realize that all the authority members are gone and it is just total anarchy at this point. The funniest thing though is not Jason (who is still on his I HATE FANGS kick) trying to work with the vamps but rather Pam who is not on board with Nora being in charge. Seems that she has no idea who Nora …. hmmmm Guess Eric never mentioned he had a sister. The “rag-tag bag of fuck ups” (Nora’s name for them) manage to escape only to have Pam and Jason want to return for Sookie and Eric but Nora is having none of it. Luckily for her Eric and Sookie arrive in a van so they can all pile in. Poor Jessica is missing Bill but as they start to drive off he appears, naked, blood covered, and walking through the flaming remains of the building. Rather than heading for the van he takes straight up into the sky like a “Naked Evil Superman” (NICE JASON!!)
With the van racing away Nora and Pam just cannot get on and Eric has to pull over so they can sort things out. Pam lets her feelings known and is in full Pam form with her descriptions of Eric’s annoying sister. Eric sadly is not in the mood and sends her away where she ends up crying on the beach *sigh* … Stay Feisty Pam!!! Eric talks to Nora wanting info from the book of Lilith but Nora is as clueless as to what could be going on. Apparently Lilith worshiping didn’t include what to do if a worshiper drinks all the sacred blood and goes off the rails but it does mention Warlow … apparently he is Lilith’s progeny …… Ooooh that can’t be good. Poor Eric is totally lost with all the Warlow stuff and is a little irritated when Nora points out that even Jason seems to know more than him on the subject. There is a showdown with Nora, Eric, Tara, Pam and Sookie all against Jason who obviously can’t win so he takes off.
Jessica is freaking out because she still thinks it is “Bill” and doesn’t want him hurt … a fact that should change when Bill starts using his suped up powers to “call” his child back to him. Eric tries to stop Jessica and it almost ends up killing her. Literally her heart is nearly ripped from her chest so they have no option other than let her heed his call … and of course Sookie goes with her. Eric and Nora take to the sky leaving Pam with orders to take Tara to Fangtasia (which Pam is not amused about).
So let’s take a (very) quick break from the vamps to update you on the wolves. At the end of last season (with the help of some V) Alcide makes pack master. We get to see them celebrating (and munching on the old packmaster .. Mmmmm yummy *shudders* …. and then as usual there is lots of howling, and growling, and the required getting naked and going for a run. Alcide seems to be enjoying himself although to me he looks ridiculous. Even worse the only sex scene this week was one with him, his new head bitch, and some other naked wolf chick. YAWN!! Ugh werewolf sex just doesn’t work for me. I want naked vamps!!!
Continuing with the break let’s just cram all the non vamp stuff in here. Remember Andy and his babies? Yes well he is not coping so well. Totally overwhelmed by it all he needs a pep talk from Arlene as to how all new parents feel this way and he needs to start helping out. You get to see how Terry has become very much into a father role (so far from when we first met him … although I kinda miss the old crazy Terry) .. and you think maybe Andy will be able to do this with a little support….. but SURPRISE ….. suddenly after all the baby scenes and Andy laying down for a well deserved nap on the couch you here the pitter patter of little feet running around and then “Hello Daddy” as four walking talking toddler girls are right there. Wow those Fae babies grow fast. Not sure where they are going with this but it sure beats the whole watch Andy deal with babies thing.
Staying on the non vamp stuff for just a touch longer, we know from trailers there is going to be a lot of political implications this season and they start this week. With True Blood being in short supply Governor Burell has taken things into his own hands. He is basically declaring war against the vamps. No vampires out after dark, all vampire businesses to be closed down and taken back over by the State, and he urges all people that can to load up with wooden bullets. (Side note … love the touch of people in the crowd with Light Of Day Institute shirts). Interestingly enough later in the show we see him meeting with Ms Suzuki who is in charge of the Tru Blood company and offer her the free use of a bottling plant to get Tru Blood up and running again like a government bailout but with no publicity or strings attached. Hmmmm you know that THAT is not going to end well. He says it is for money but we all know there has to be more than that. Hmmmm doesn’t that zombie show have an evil governor? (Not really sure as I don’t watch it …. zombies you know … not a fan) … but I guess we will see there this is heading.
Remember Jason took off? Well he ends up getting picked up by Rutger Hauer’s new character who is obviously not quite human but poor Jason is not quite on the ball (although he does get his gun ready). This new character was originally listed as being Macklin and then he is in the credits as Niall (who book lovers will know is a great-grandfather type fae character) but then when Jason is talking about Warlow he says that no one will be able to keep Warlow from Sookie … who do you think I am … and he vanishes. Very strange. Guess we will be waiting for more news on that too but it certainly isn’t going to put Jason any closer to wanting to help the vamps.
Jessica and Sookie make it to Bill’s house where they find Bill looking pretty normal and sitting on a chair on the porch. Eric and Nora fly down and attack which ends with Eric being held by the throat looking as though Bill is about to kill him when Sookie STAKES BILL!! Yep stake right through the heart and ……. NOTHING. Bill just looks mildly irritated and pulls it out. Everyone is completely surprised but no-one (including Bill) seems to have any idea what these new powers are. Jessica is scared but chooses to stay with Bill rather than leave with Sookie and there are lots of vamps growling at each other before Nora, Eric and Sookie finally leave Jessica and Bill to it. Kinda bored with the vamps growling and snarling already. Bit too wolfy for me.
Eric takes Sookie home and after a touching moment where Eric wishes she could be the fun girl in the white dresses he remembers to well writes, in blood, the house back over to her and then with tears the bitch RESCINDS his invitation. How rude is that! Outside Nora sees that Eric is in love with Sookie, something that she can’t understand and something that Eric makes quite clear is not up for discussion and neither is involving Sookie!
Pam and Tara make it back to the club and they have an argument because Tara wants to try and take Eric’s place and for just a moment it looks like Tara may have the upper hand. WHAT??? Oh no just a moment there and Pam is back to her snappy self putting Tara back in her place. Sadly only just in time for some kind of Swat club to swarm in and take Fangtasia under the governor’s new laws. Tara tries to fight back but it hit with what seems to be some kind of vamp stun gun? Hmmm guess we will learn what the Green dots mean in the weeks to come. Over all not looking good for Pam 😦
Back at Bill’s Jessica is in bed and they have a nice maker / progeny chat and we get to see that Bill has a whole bunch of new powers including freezing things in mid air. Hmmmm he is trying to act as though he is trying to cope with the new powers the best he can but something is definitely off. I guess we will see where these powers go. Bill goes downstairs and is sitting reading a book when suddenly he starts getting flashes of visions and then BAM 3 Lilith type creatures in the corners of his room and they all rush inside him …. and it ends ..
UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!! I certainly enjoyed the premiere and love that everything other than the vamps had a back seat for the most part and I think we are in for one hell of a ride. I say BRING IT ON!! 😀
Favorite Lines From Who Are You Really
- Pam – “Excuse me Bitch Sergent who the HELL are you and why are you telling us what the fuck to do”
- Pam – “Honey I don’t know about the world but I am about to end your face!”
- Pam – “I Hate the beach … fish piss and sand in your cooch”
- Jason – “I am sick of you bloodsuckers brain raping me against my will”
- Eric – “Apparently our siblings don’t get along …. the only reason yours is still alive is out of courtesy to you”
- Arlene – “When you stick Mr Happy inside someone’s hoo ha without a raincoat on babies come out!”
- Lafayette – “Wrong Place At The Wrong Fucking Time Outta Be My Middle Fucking Name”
- Pam – “Honey, this isn’t going to be some epic fucking love story .. you can never replace Eric and you never will”
- Eric – “Nora, My darling Sister …… Don’t stir this pot!”