Last Blood By Kristen Painter Release Day Blitz!!!! V””V

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The Day Is Finally Here!!!!! Last Blood (House Of Comarré #5) Is Available To Buy!!!!

Last Blood is the 5th (and final) installment in the captivating story of Mal and Chrysabelle.

(For those that may have somehow missed this exciting saga scroll down for a special offer on book 1)

Last-Blood

In the final showdown between the forces of dark and light, Mal and Chrysabelle face not only Tatiana, but the ancient evil that now controls her: the Castus Sanguis. Chrysabelle gathers her friends and family around her, forming a plan to bring an end to the chaos surrounding them. But the Castus is the most powerful being they’ve ever come up against. Defeating such evil will require a great sacrifice from someone on the side of light.

One of them will change sides. One of them will die. No one will survive unscathed. Can Chrysabelle save those she cares about or will that love get her killed? What price is she willing to pay to draw last blood?

Get the book now in either eFormat or Paperback at

Barnes and Noble HERE

or Amazon HERE

Special Offer!!!!! For Book 1 In The Series – Blood Rights!!!!!!

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For those that haven’t joined the journey yet right now you can get book 1 in the series for just $2.99 for either Kindle Or Nook!!!!

Get it from Barnes and Noble HERE

Get it from Amazon HERE

About The Author

Kristen

When the characters in Kristen Painter’s head started to take over, she decided to put them on paper and share them with the world. She writes paranormal romance and the gothic fantasy vampire series, House of Comarre, for Orbit Books. She has also been published in non-fiction, poetry and short stories. The former college English teacher can often be found online at Romance Divas, the award-winning writers’ forum she co-founded. She’s represented by Elaine Spencer of The Knight Agency.

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True Blood Season 6 Ep 6 – “Don’t You Feel Me” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Let me start by saying after last week’s epic episode I was hoping for a little more. This week for me had too much “other” stuff and not enough vampire content for me … but here we go ….

This week starts with the possessed Lafayette still trying to drown Sookie and he almost succeeds but Bill can feel she is in trouble and despite his whole “you are dead to me” speech he sends Warlow/Ben  out into the day to rescue her.  No real surprise there although Lafayette does survive (after last week I thought the “death that will rock Bon Temps” may have been him with all this going on) but Sookie recovers enough to tell Warlow/Ben not to kill him but to blast him with Fairy Light to dislodge the spirit.  Amazingly this works (I guess this season Fairy light is the equivalent of Duct Tape) and Sookie tells the spirit of her dad to go and never return. He fades off into the trees presumable never to be seen again, well either that or until they come up with some reason he needs to come back.  There was no hoodoo magic to make him stay gone so who knows (and to be honest who cares …. it was an interesting twist but this week I am over it).

Now to the part I have been waiting for ALL Week!! Pam and Eric trapped in the little display room, armed with stakes, supposed to fight each other.  Now as they circle each other like caged beasts (much to the amusement of the stupid Governor) a few little snide comments are made back and forth before they float up Matrix Style, poised and ready to fight.  UGH I am on the edge of my seat at this point just needing to know what is going to happen …. you can cut the tension with a knife!!!! Then with the slightest nod of his head Eric and Pam fly towards each other, and past each other up to the windows where the armed guards are and stake them!! Oh it was brilliant!!! then they drag the bodies down to the room and one of the guards is staked literally right through the window leaving this little stake sizes hole, surrounded in blood, for Eric to look through with one eye and say … “I see you Steve Newlin!!”.  Oh this was the best scene of this episode. Sadly more guards come in to escort the dynamic duo off but oh it was amazing!  Shame it was so near the beginning …. yes readers it is sadly all down hill from here … but there is information that we will need for next week so stay with me and I will keep you as entertained as I can.

Lafayette, Sookie and Warlow/Ben are having a little heart to heart about how messed up it is that this vampire can be out in the sun when Billith decides to “Call”  Warlow/Ben back to the house. Well we all know how well that went for Jessica and soon enough Warlow/Ben is coughing up blood and generally looking unwell but it is Sookie to the rescue.  Instead of submitting to Billith’s demands she grabs Warlow/Ben’s hands and transports him off to Fairy World. Ummmm SAY WHAT????  Yes apparently she can zap herself there whenever it suits her. Hmmm not sure that was in fact the case.  Wonder how long she will be there this year? After all last time a few minutes there turned out to be a year.

When Bill realizes that he can no longer feel Warlow/Ben he goes off to talk to Jessica who of course is not in her room because she is at “Vamp Camp” but Billith hasn’t realized that yet so rushes up to her room to find out how close he came to killing her when he called her to him at the beginning.  When he realizes she is gone he fears the worst and that what he saw in his vision was starting. Of course Bill wants to talk to Lilith but she is not being very forthcoming so he decides he needs to be in a coma.  So he has the still kidnapped scientist drain him to the point of death (by glamouring him with instructions to remove all his blood to the point of the True Death then return it to him 24 hours later) and off Bill goes to dream land to see Lilith (escorted by the 3 pointless naked, blood covered, Lilith wannabees).   Face to face with Lilith Bill in unamused by all the non answers Lilith gives and tries to blame Lilith for everything but as she points out …. he was the one that wanted this and now he can deal with it and she disappears telling him basically the time to act is now but he is on his own to do it! And act he does …. but more on that later!

Jason, meanwhile, is over at the LAVT (Louisiana Vampire Task Force) sign up center so that he can rescue Jessica from said “Vamp Camp”.  His interview is GREAT!! Jason is definitely back to being more like the Jason from earlier seasons that we adored and comes up with my favorite new word for decapitation – beheadenism!!  It is a great way to kill vamps.   Obviously with the tales he can tell and the experience he has the LAVT can’t wait to sign him up and fast track him through to main camp.  Well done Jason your plan seems to be working …. until once there he get’s introduced to Sarah Newlin.  Uh oh …. slight hiccup there but Jason plays it cool and pretends they have never met.  Sarah orders everyone to clear the room so she can spend a couple of minutes alone with the new recruit but where she plans to make him leave Jason points out that if she says one word he will tell EVERYTHING he knows about her and what a “Whore for Christ” she is.  Well that doesn’t go down too well but she keeps her mouth shut.  Oh yes Sarah Newlin is way too smart for that.  Instead she waits for her opportunity and has Jason come to one of the observation rooms to watch a “copulation study”.  Once Jason understands what copulation is he thinks that doesn’t sound too bad apart from the fact there is only one guy vamp standing in the room……until Sarah has them bring out Jessica.  Oh Sarah you really are a bitch.  James (who would have made a lovely Ben/Warlow … hope we see him again ……) won’t do it though as he says he isn’t into rape and Jessica is not willing.  Despite getting hit several times with a nasty UV blaster ray he holds his ground and it is Jessica who eventually tries to tell him it will be OK and they should just get it over with.  But James won’t do it but even after they blast him again and again they realize he won’t do it so have Jessica taken away.

So to the shifters and the wolves … yawn yawn yawn.  I really don’t know what is worse at this point .. the whining Sam storyline with that stupid Nicole tagging along or the Alcide the Asshole pack-master story with him needing someone to smack some reality sense back into him.  Well luckily for me they are all tied up this week and can be summed up easily.  Alcide’s dad did decide to tell him where Sam and Co. were (in between playing with the shifter hooker he picked up from the bar who spends all her time walking around naked and apparently eating chicken).  When Alcide arrives he decides he is unamused by the naked hooker who tells him he is a wolf and to get over it.  Anyway enough of that ….. Alcide goes to the room where Sam had been but they had gone.  Turns out Sam had called Martha and was handing Emma over to her on condition that she leaves the pack forever.  With Alcide the asshole as packmaster Martha agrees and her and Emma take off only moments before Alcide catches up with them and threatens Sam and Nicole.  Yawn Yawn Yawn.  Sam asks what happened to them being friends and Alcide basically backs down and tells Sam to go but he is officially “dead” so not to go back to Bon Temps, Shreveport, anywhere he can be recognized.  Yes well we know that isn’t going to happen.  So that was a whole waste of screen time if you ask me.  I expect next week Sam will head on back to the bar (especially when you read what happens later).

Other random info from this episode that doesn’t really fit in with anything else … Andy finally gives number 4 a name. Actually 4 names so that she can remember her sisters. Adeline, Braylin, Charlaine, Dannika.   A B C D, 1 2 3 4 ….. definitely a recurring thing this season.

Back in Fairy Land Warlow/Ben is worried about the approaching night (even though it is blazing daylight there) as he can feel it approaching back where they came from. So time difference not an issue now? *rolls eyes* More rule changes.  OK So they are there and Warlow/Ben is going to need to feed but instead he tells Sookie to tie him to the tree with some vines.  Oh yes a 5000 year old vampire tied to a tree with vines.  That should work …. or wait …. remember the Duct Tape fairy light power ….. Sookie is going to use that to bind the vines so everything will be OK.  Wonder when she got this 101 things you can use Fairy Light for manual.  It sure is coming in handy!  With Warlow/Ben all tied to the tree we get to hear more about the history, which is a lot of repeated dull stuff we already know, we learn that if Sookie and Warlow/Ben are together they can just feed off each other for eternity …. as long as Sookie becomes a vampire fae like him.  Hmmmmmmmm that is all rather stupid and convenient. But hey not my writing.  At least if she did that she could still sunbathe (which seems to be her main objection to the whole vampire thing).

Back in Bon Temps remember the whole Terry issue from last week? Well Terry turns up on Lafayette’s doorstep to give him a key to his safety deposit box and is acting very strange.  Lafayette realizes something is really wrong and calls Arlene who quickly puts 2 and 2 together and actually manages to make 4.  She knows what Terry is up to and plans to put a stop to it but doesn’t know how.  Holly actually provides the solution by having a vampire that she is friends with come and glamour Terry into forgetting everything that is wrong in his life.  Which is a great plan, but as he forgets the marines and all the bad things he also forgets that he asked someone to kill him when he was not expecting it.  Now my husband Greg came up with a GREAT situation that would have made even Alan Ball dance with glee, but sadly HBO didn’t go that route, but it was brilliant so I am going to share it anyway.  He thought it would be a real twist if when the guy was going to shoot Terry, Arlene got in the way and SHE ended up getting shot instead! And no one would have any idea why.  Now THAT would have been a story.  Instead we get Terry at work all ridiculously happy and loving life the next day, he takes the garbage out and BANG shot through the neck.  Now for a top sniper you would have thought he could have at least gone for a decent head shot and it be done with.  Instead we get time for him to be alive long enough for people to come out and for him to die in Arlene’s arms with her singing him a lullaby.  Quite touching I suppose but honestly as I sad last week I am kinda over the whole Terry story and if this is the loss that shocks Bon Temps … well I can live with that!

Back at Vamp Camp things are starting to get interesting although not enough time was spent there this week.  The Governor is really unhappy about the results of the little “Stake Experiment” and so he has other plans to torture Eric (who is shackles in a cage but still looks intimidating).  They bring in Nora, strapped to a gurney because stupid Steve Newlin has told the governor all about her too. They they inject her with Hep V …. a very very concentrated form of Hep D (yes someone on the script writing team has actually watched the whole show from the beginning) and she is going to be patient zero.  Oh this isn’t good. He wheels Nora right in front of Eric so Eric can watch her die but then as with all great villainous plots he then LEAVES and goes to see Willa who demands to be put in general population.  Yes there is a link there ….. While Willa is talking to Tara Eric “Calls” her and Tara recognizes the signs and help her devise a plan to get to Eric.  The plan actually works and it is Willa to the rescue even managing to keep the lab coat clean for Nora to wear before ripping the arm off the doctor which works to open the doors.  Hilarious!

Remember the more on Bill acting later? Well once he is revived by his scientist pet he sees the news on TV where they are explaining how Governor Burrell has partnered up and will be helping Tru Blood get back on the shelves …… AND at a discounted rate to help the vampire population get back on track and things get back to normal.  Hmmm yes something definitely wrong there!   Bill then  locks said pet in a cage and drinks the remainder of the Warlow/Ben Blood sample and then glows … and now he can walk in the sun.  He walks right out into the daylight and zips off to the Governor.  And now the bit that almost hurts to type …. Bill’s actions are actually funny and rather awesome.  He walks right into the compound with armed guards everywhere and he shows them his fangs, which totally freaks them out because the sun is shining.  So they start firing and Bill just walks on through those wooden bullets, as we know they don’t bother him right now, laughing at the pathetic humans and when he has enough  all the guards stop, guns still shakily raised, Bill has them all point the guns at each other …. and says FIRE and all the guards drop down dead in a little circle.  UGH sadly it really was a great scene to watch.  Even better he then goes right up to the Governor and has a very brief chat before sinking his fangs into his neck … and then RIPPING HIS HEAD RIGHT OFF and placing it on a nearby statue base.  In the words of Russell himself .. FANGTASTIC!!!! (Oh that really hurt to say about a Bill scene ……..guess the truth really does hurt lol)

Inside it is all systems go with Eric dressed as a guard (complete with chipped arm to open the doors) with “Doctor” Nora escorting prisoner Willa around the compound to find Pam and then Willa adds that she wants to find Tara and Jessica too which Eric doesn’t seem to care about but he does agree.  Nora is fading fast as they go from door to door but what they find behind one door suddenly explains why the Governor is keen to start supplying Tru Blood again.  Each bottle is going to come complete with a nice dose of Hep V.  It will be a disaster.  Eric maintains his composure but gives a resounding “Fuck me” as he leaves the room.  Yes this is bad for the vampires on a grand scale.

And so we reach the end and to finish this week we get some naked slutty Sookie (who we learn has the nickname “Danger Whore”.  I will stick with Slutty Sookie) and Warlow/Ben action.  Yes he is still tied to a tree but after re-enforcing the vines with some more fairy light she leans over so he can feed …. and then she returns the favor. Ummmmm WHAT??? Yes she takes a nice bite out of his neck and drinks to (presumably) heal her neck wound (we see it heal) and gather some strength for the sex they are about to have.  Honestly I could have done without this.  It was not really sexy, although credit where it is due for just having had twins Anna’s body looks great!!! I was going to say the scene was rather lack luster but then as it ended with them glowing, literally, as they go at it I guess lack luster probably wasn’t the best term.  We end with the glowing expanding out from them and getting brighter …….

And then the credits roll.  Will this light experiment zap them back to reality? Who knows. Stranger things have happened on this show.  The previews for next week look amazing, with Eric begging Billith to save Nora …. but then the trailers for this week fooled me too.  One this is for sure …. Waiting Sucks … and with only 4 episodes I hate that we are almost at the end already *sigh*.  At least we know there is a Season 7 to look forward to 😀

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My Favorite Lines From “Don’t You Feel Me”

  • Lafayette – “Let me get this hetro-staight”
  • Jason – “Beheadenism”
  • Jennie – “Come on we’re werewolves … butch the fuck up!”
  • Terry – “There’s No “The Fuck” “
  • Eric – “Are You Mad That I Turned Your Daughter Into My Daughter”
  • Willa – “Wow I’m Dead And You Are STILL Being Overprotective”
  • Eric – “Well Done Baby Vampire”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 5 – “**** The Pain Away” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So let me start by saying this week’s episode jumped all over the place making you REALLY have to pay attention to stay with what was going on.  Now usually I try and “group” a bunch of split up parts together for smoother reading but I think that there will be less of that this week as the jumping back and forth really sort of added to the whole crazy feel.  Yes that is my decision and we will see how that works. 😀  Oh yes and that means this is going to be looooong … so you might want to go get a drink before starting lol.

This week starts right where last week left off with Ben/Warlow in a compromising position over a half-naked Sookie who is threatening him with her light ball.  OK even as I read that I was thinking “only in a True Blood review would that even make sense!” …. So yes Sookie is being all badass (although she lets him up so they are now wandering around the room – her still with her magic light ball – him looking a lot less concerned than he should) when Sookie lets out a tirade about how sick she is of vampires and them saying they love her when all they want to do is hurt her, drink her blood blah blah blah.  In Ben/Warlow’s defense (I am really going to have to choose a name for him this 2 name thing is annoying ME already) …..He is a daywalker so I don’t think her blood is really a priority to him …. and I don’t actually think he wants to kill her.  Of course if he was a sexier being then I would probably be even more on his side …. seriously?? Casting director??  What happened there?  Did you decide we had enough man/vamp candy on the screen because let me assure you YOU WERE WRONG!!!!

And now we jump to Jessica and Bill (Yes right in the middle of the Sookie drama) and Jessica is distraught and sobbing having eaten all 4 of Andy’s fairy kids. Just as I was thinking … hmmmmmm Eric drank one fairy and got all drunk and happy …. Jessica drinks 4 and is sobbing and remorseful – what’s up with that …… the “High” part kicks in and she decides she needs to make a pass .. at BILL!! EWWWWWWW UGH really?? That was not a scene that EVER needed to be written.  Gross, unnecessary, *shudders* just NO!!!  Luckily Bill realizes she is high and pushes her away but that image is just still there for everyone to see. Jessica would definitely be the annoying drunk girl at a party …. but Bill goes into Daddy mode and says they will work it all out… after all he pretty much thinks he is a God now.

Back at Sookies Ben / Warlow reveals some interesting news. According to him he DIDN’T kill Sookie’s parents because he is some mean old vampire … he did it because her parents were going to KILL HER and HE saved her.  Ummmmm WHAT????  Yes that is what he is claiming and the way he is acting you have to wonder if he is actually telling the truth.  He certainly doesn’t seem to be in any kind of a hurry to kill her now. Sookie is not amused though and zaps him with her light…. which triggers Bill at his house to start having all sorts of flashback visions and then things just go crazy …..

Bill rushes over to Sookies and even Sookie points out that she thought she was dead to him …. but he is not there to save her,  Oh no .. he is there to pick up Ben/Warlow … and …. AS HIS MAKER command him to come back with him.  Ummmm WHAT???? And then I took 2 seconds to work it out and yes I suppose … in theory … if Bill is now Lillith incarnate and the Vampire bible made Warlow Lilith’s progeny then yes Bill would be able to order him around …. interesting …..  Oh and side note to Sookie … it is pretty hard to stand there looking intimidating in your underwear with a pretty light ball in your hand.

Opening credits roll (yes ALL that happened in less than 5 minutes before them) and we come back to Andy turning up at the Compton manor looking for his 4 girls.  Awwww poor Andy 😦  I actually felt sorry for him …. and then I thought OH NO he is going to DIE … but he doesn’t…. well not in this episode anyway.  He searches the room and finds his 4 girls laying there, all apparently dead.  Jessica is hiding but probably not well enough if Andy hadn’t been distracted by one of his girls actually having managed to survive and hanging on to life by a thread.  So he does what any good dad would do in Bon Temps, pick her up, take her to the Sheriff’s station and give her some V out of the evidence boxes to fix her right up.  Well it works at least!  As for the other 3 we are yet to see what is going to happen with them.  They kinda skirt the whole issue of the bodies in the rest of the episode …. does Bill come back and get rid of them??  We know Andy doesn’t go back there as Holly talks him out of what would obviously be a suicide mission.  Hmmmmmmm Apparently the story is going to be that 3 of them went off with their Fairy mama.  Not really that convincing if you ask me …. but then again the town just watched the girls grow from babies to almost adults in less than a week … so I guess that would work.

Off to the vampires that I actually DO care about seeing .. well one of them anyway.  Tara goes to find Eric (who apparently hasn’t moved since we saw him last week) and explains that Pam has been taken by the LAVTF (for those that missed it last week Louisiana Vampire Task Force) and she wants to know what they are going to do.  And Eric’s grand plan is apparently turn themselves in and try a rescue from the inside out.  I’M SORRY WHAT???? That has got to be the stupidest plan ever!! Did they not live through last season with the whole being locked down by the Authority.  Maybe that is the problem.  Maybe Eric thinks that because he got out of that he can get out of anything that humans will have come up with.  Oh I KNOW this is a bad idea as I sit here yelling at the screen “WHAT ARE YOU THINKING” …… not that it makes any difference because Eric isn’t listening and so him AND Tara surrender and off to vampire camp they go. *sigh*

Talking of the “Vampire Camp” we get a brief glimpse as Pam is walked through it to see what they are up to … at least in some of the rooms.  Scientists are pulling fangs, and watching vampires have sex.  As Pam points – lots of scientific value in that. We see Eric and Tara being escorted through … hoods on …. and Eric says find Pam.  Does he really think he is still in control?? Ugh MEN!!

And then we are off to the Governor’s mansion as he has to send his poor baby Willa to vampire camp.  Now really?  That’s not nice! But with Sarah egging him on it looks like there is no choice but if this is going to happen then he is going to be the one to take her.  Much to Sarah’s dismay … she has on her sexy black lingerie and thinks this is the time to talk about having another baby.  Yep she definitely has more than one screw loose although she did make me laugh. (She made my favorite lines list at the bottom of the page 😀 )

And so back to Bill and Ben/Warlow and all the craziness going on there.  Bill is using the whole “As Your Maker” thing to basically stay alive but as he takes Ben/Warlow’s blood we get a bunch of flashbacks to when he was turned by Lilith.  I saw again ….. Why couldn’t they have found someone sexier for this role.  Especially as we get to see him naked and having sex with Lilith.  Oh this could have been really sexy …. but wasn’t.  Thus Ben / Warlow was created and we learn that he was actually Niall’s father and I am guessing that is why he spared that child alone in the village.  Whilst this is all very relevent and necessary knowledge to be honest I would happily have skipped all of this for more time in Vampire camp.  Bottom line … Billith controls Ben/Warlow and thinks he will be their salvation even though it turns out he was the one responsible for Lilith’s death (he fried her with the sun as she slept) and Ben/Warlow thinks all vampires should probably just die and he wants to go play with Sookie.  OK Maybe not quite as simple as that .. but good enough.

Sarah decides after being left abandoned by Governor to take Willa to camp that the best person to go see is Jason. As Jason points out they didn’t exactly part on good terms but I guess Sarah is horny and wants to get laid and there is no one she likes better.  And get laid she does.  Finally some sex on the screen this season that doesn’t make me go Ewww!!! Now if we can just get some decent vampire Sex this season will get better still!!!  Hot and steamy action aside Sarah is still a major bitch.  As they lay recovering from their antics there is a knock at the door, well more like a frantic pounding, from Jessica who is still high on Fairy blood and doesn’t know what she wants to do other than tell someone how bad she is.

She is trying to have a philosophical debate about whether Bill could be God or the Devil and about Love …. but she is trying to do this with Jason …… and bless his heart he just has no idea what is going on.  But he obviously cares about her …. and seems to have forgotten there is vampire hating bitch up in his bed and it isn’t too surprising to us when Sarah comes down to join the little party and as awkward as it could be with 2 people you have slept with in the same room, this tension is up about 1000 times higher.  Poor Jason is stuck in the middle ….. literally … of these 2 crazy women, for a moment anyway until Jessica crosses the room to attack (or try to have sex with) Sarah … she is a little mixed up right now. Mixed up enough that Sarah quoting the bible at her is enough to make her stop?? hmmmmm OK let’s blame the fairy high for that one because that is ridiculous! But not as ridiculous as Sarah being able to rescind the invitation to Jason’s house … Ummmmm even Jason knows that’s NOT how it works and tells Sarah she can’t do that because it is HIS house … but the supernatural rules, for whatever reason, do not care and out the door Jessica goes, right into the arms of the waiting LAVTF that Sarah has called.  Not good! So quick vampire count here we now have pretty much our full main vampire cast at the Vampire Camp ….. Pam, Eric, Nora (who we don’t see this week), Tara and Jessica. So I say let’s have a whole episode in there 😀 but sadly no …….

 Well we knew it had to happen eventually and sure enough we have to deal with Alcide and his issues over finding Emma which apparently means he has to go hunting in a dive bar with his dad.  This week continues with Alcide the asshole with his pack master fever and he even turns on his father when he tries to give him a little advice and tells him to leave and literally throws money at him to get him to clear off. Well whatever.  For me this storyline is dumb and dull and I don’t know what the writer’s are thinking with his character but I was never a wolf fan to start with but by the end of this season he won’t have any fans left … well none with brains anyway.

As for where Sam is, well him, Nicole and Emma are still in the motel with Nicole having major regrets about the night before’s little action.  She is so stupid she tries to go and make a phone call but Sam stops her causing a big fight outside where people can see. And who should see … but Alcide’s dad!  I guess with the money that was supposed to get him home he decided to hire a hooker and go to a motel instead.  Now the decision is going to be ….. does he go running to Alcide and try and win back favor … or does he just ignore it and start his life over.  Because he is a wolf, and thus in my estimation stupid to start with, I am guessing he is going to go with the former.  That and of course it will make things much easier for the writers to explain how Alcide the Asshole found them when all his leads are coming up dead lol

Keeping all the things I couldn’t care less about together, Terry has invited an old colleague “Justin” to Merlotte’s to “catch up”.  Even Justin is not buying that is the reason and Terry soon admits that he actually wants to pay Jessie to kill him because of what he did to Patrick.  Arlene comes over obviously realising something is up but can’t do much about it other than try to get Terry to come away which he says he will in just a couple minutes.  After that Justin seems rather keen to help Terry out and agrees that he will do it for free.  Obviously there is more history there than we are getting but I really couldn’t care less.  This whole story line is just taking up valuable time that could be spent at the vampire camp!  DULL DULL DULL.  I used to really like Terry but at this point I don’t think I even care whether they follow through with this or not.  *YAWN*.

Back at vampire camp we get to see what they get up to when they catch the vampires.  They put them in a room with 3 other vampires and drop balls from the ceiling.  Rules are easy (although not explained) …. 4 vamps 3 balls … catch a ball or get shot with something nasty …. doesn’t kill them as no goo piles.  3 vamps .. 2 balls … catch a ball or get shot….  Eric actually seems to be enjoying this,  And why wouldn’t he? After all I am pretty sure that most 1000 year old vampires have gone into hiding with all this stuff going on.  So you have the rules now and there are 2 vamps left….. so 1 ball right?? Wrong!! 2 doors open and there are guns behind them and well the poor vamp left standing with Eric didn’t stand a chance.  He had his gun and had shot her before she could barely even get to hers.  Shame. Well not really …. as much as I am pro vamps it was kinda fun to watch Eric being all superior and really treating it as a game.  I really get the impression at this point he thinks he is so superior that nothing they do can phase him.  Oh Eric … pride comes before disaster ….. yes I know that’s wrong but it’s my blog and that works for me!

With Eric champion in his little game we see him moved to “general population” with a blue suit with a number 1 on it.  As he announced to the rest of the vamps in his area who he is and why he is there we see that all the vampires are wearing the same blue clothes with numbers between 1 and 4 on them. Fairies 1 – 4 …. Vampires 1 – 4 …. wonder if there will be some kind of easter egg with that.  Probably not. More likely me over obsessing again …… anyway where was I … oh yes Eric acting like he owns the room and then being totally ignored by the other vampires.  They must “feel” his power though because they all back away and leave him to his own space.

Meanwhile Pam (who is also a 1) is in a meeting with a psychiatrist called Finn played excellently by Pruitt Taylor Vince.  Pam, as we all know is not a big fan of “sharing” and volunteers her services in the room where they are watching the vampires have sex but Finn is not having any of that.  He manages to convinces her to share by bringing in a live donor (who by the end of it would probably be dead if Pam hadn’t decided she had had enough because Finn was definitely more interested in getting answers, and possibly watching a little girl on girl, rather than the donor making it through the process).  Pam is brilliant in this scene making it quite clear what she thinks about humans and about pretty much everything in general.  It was great to see more of the old Pam back, faltering only slightly when the subject of makers came up, but even then she was back in full sarcasm mode rather quickly, but not so quickly that Finn didn’t notice the reaction.

Jessica meets up with Tara in their part of the vampire camp (note they are both 3’s) and Jessica is still having her little breakdown as she comes down from her fairy high.  She doesn;t even want the little cup of blood offered to her and gives it to Tara which almost sparks a fight with Tara stepping in front to guard her but some random “ranked 1” vamp steps up and puts a stop to it all.  She then lets Tara and Jessica know she feels “owed”. Hmmmmm just like prison then but as to what role she will play is yet to be seen.

Willa arrives at camp and see’s Tara but isn’t allowed to be with her as she is “special” and doesn’t go into general population.   She gets her own little room all locked away by herself.  Special or not it doesn’t stop the pervy guard from making suggestive remarks and when Willa points out who her father is she is reminded, by said pervy guard, that her father put her in there.  Hmmmm think on that Willa!  Don’t worry though …. I have a feeling Eric will be a lot more annoyed when he finds out so revenge may yet be yours.

Back in Bon Temps Sookie has decided to take things into her own hands about the whole Ben/Warlow revelation and does what anyone would do …. go find a medium.  Yay more Lafayette!! Love that he was totally unphased when she reveals that the creepy thing in her bathroom had turned out to be a vampire fairy hybrid who had escaped from another dimension.  Where else are you going to get lines like that?  Awesome!! So off they go to have a nice little séance at Sookie’s house to see what Sookie’s parents have to say about the whole them trying to kill her claims.  Turns out, this was not such a good plan!  Firstly they don’t want to come and talk, and then when they do things get even worse with a flashback to Sookie’s childhood where it is revealed that her dad did in fact try to kill her rather than her become a vampire fairy princess, and THEN he takes over Lafayette’s body and decides that he is going to carry out the drowning plan that he started back then and poor possessed Lafayette wrestles Sookie into the trunk of her car.  Oh this is not good!!

Continuing with the bad ideas Jason has decided that he needs to rescue Jessica and to do that he needs to get into vampire camp and so he is off to join the LAVTF.  He tries to call Sookie, who probably would have told him what a bad idea this was, but she is locked in the trunk of the car by the possessed Lafayette so isn’t answering.  With no one to stop him sign up he does and of course with his history they are thrilled to get him.  How many vampires have you killed Jason ….. he answers This week?  Yep definitely their kind of asshole.  Let’s hope for a Jason from the end of S2 ….. fellowship of the sun paintball style.  That I could get behind lol.

With Sookie trapped in the trunk of the car we flash over to Bill’s where Ben/Warlow is having a little freak out and threatening the scientist.  Now is this because he can sense Sookie is in danger? This isn’t specified but I am going to go with probably yes and that is how she will be saved.  After all she is dead to Bill although maybe he will feel her danger and send Ben/Warlow … not quite got the exact details worked out but I am pretty sure that next week something related to this will result in Sookie getting saved…. after all they aren’t going to kill her off.

Now we might know that , but the possessed Lafayette has other ideas as he brings her to the lake and is about to drown her …. head shoves under the water she screams but can’t escape …. and we have to wait until next week to see if my theories are correct …..

More frightening than that is what is going on over at Vampire Camp … after all we all know Sookie isn’t going to get drowned.  We get to see Sarah Newlin bringing the Governor in for a “surprise”.  At first things seem a little weird because the surprise would appear to be Sarah’s gay ex husband Steve and the Governor is not amused.  But then they bring Eric into a room on the other side of the glass and things become a little clearer.  They have the vampire that turned his Willa and they are going to have some “fun” with him.  Eric seems rather unbothered by this although is clearly not happy when he finds out that Willa is in the camp.  Seriously what kind of father does that? But he is game to play along and tells them to bring him something to kill. After all, he is 1000 years old, not much in there that will stop him. Things turn nasty though because Steve has been providing intel …. Steve who by the way only rates a 4 in their system which I found hilarious….. he is soooooooooooo a 4 lol …… anyway the intel provided is just not good.  Eric’s opponent is Pam.  Oh this is not good!!  Eric and Pam trapped in a room with 2 stakes and both of them just standing there.  Sarah is unamused and wants them to just FIGHT but they just don’t move.  Oh there will be no answers this week …..

Even worse we get to see trailers for next week and Eric is in the room and Pam asks him about him making another vampire and she looks MAD and then we see the Governor laughing and saying here we go … and then we see Eric looking through a hole in blood splattered  glass and a stake shaped hole  and he sees’ Steve and Steve looks scared!!!   Oh no please tell me this is just being set up to look like he killed Pam …. he couldn’t …. Oh Eric don’t do it … PLEASE let this be an HBO trailer tease and a reveal of something totally different next week.

UGH WAITING SUCKS   😥

V””V

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My Favorite Lines From  “**** The Pain Away”

  • Sarah – “When A Woman Comes To You In Black Lingerie … You Unwrap Her!”
  • Jason – “I guess that’s good because Steven turned out to be a gay vampire”
  • Jenny (Hooker at bar) – “I don’t see why a big male wolf like you can’t find no pussy in a pack he claims he runs but I sure like the looks of you so you won’t hear me complaining”
  • Sarah – “I am NOT Steve Newlin’s ex-wife I am my OWN person!”
  • Sarah – “My Body Is A Temple and you have DEFILED it with your vampire loving pecker!”
  • Pam – “Your insignificance to me cannot be underestimated … you are food … nothing else!”
  • Pam – “I like to think of myself as especially unremorseful”
  • Sarah – “Haven’t You Seen Gladiator …. Fucking FIGHT!”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 4 – “At Last” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So this week starts with Jason being carried in by Ben and looking not too good at all.  He is still definitely on my radar for “not going to survive this season”.  As Ben lays him on the couch Sookie muses that they need vampire blood but with no vampires easily on hand for a change she goes to call an ambulance instead.  But wait … it is vampire blood to the rescue and looks like Jason is going to be OK.  So let’s do a quick head count as to who is in the house with Sookie …. we have ….. Sookie, Jason, Ben …. and Niall outside with Nora.  So did Nora decide to help….. nope she is busy arguing with Niall about Warlow being the only one that can deal with Lilith because he is the progeny before deciding he just smells tooo good to eat causing her to get zapped off to the road to be promptly shot with those evil bullets and  picked up by the LAVTF (Louisiana Vampire Task Force .. pay attention they are going to come up again) to be whisked off to the mystery detention camp.

OK then I know what you are thinking … Bill comes back to apologize and helps out?  Wrong ……. it’s BEN to the rescue.  Yes VAMPIRE BEN!!  Well technically Vampire /Fairy hybrid Ben?  I know I know damn rules keep on changing.  Well I KNEW something was up with him but must confess I didn’t see this coming.  And obviously he wants it kept hidden because when Sookie comes back and Jason is all healed they claim he must have not have been as bad as they thought .. Hmmmmmmmmmm

Ben “appears the hero” and he and Sookie have a little moment before he leaves because Niall is not happy that he helped Jason instead of playing capture the vamp.  Bet he would be even MORE unhappy if he knew HOW Ben was helping!

After everyone leaves and we get treated to Jason doing pull ups on the door frame “Arrow Style” , Sookie starts to realize something is wrong and she goes down to where Jason had been on the couch and finds just a couple of drops of blood …. funky weird blood like from the fairy club ….. Ooooohhhhhh Wait WHAT?  So Ben is Warlow?  Huh? Oh now I’m confused and that is never a good thing.  At this point I would normally question what the hell Alan Ball is thinking ….. but he isn’t around now so I will have to just say congratulations on continuing the ONE thing from Alan Ball we wanted to lose!!! BLAH!!!!!

But Wait …. we all know what vamp blood means … sexy dreams!!!!  And this is no exception. We get a very weird Ben / Jason type dream involving shaving and lots of innuendo and sexy music.  Enough that my husband was cringing and saying NOT JASON!!! lol.

Over at the werewolf pack (yes I couldn’t care less either but I have to assume at some point something here will be relevent and believe it or not there are actually Alcide fans out there) … Alcide is being a total ass about everything.  This PackMaster crap has really gone to his head.  Not only did they kill off the rest of those Supe fans last week but now they want to hunt down the one with the crazy hair (Nicole) that got away (helped by Sam … still say he should have left her).  Add to this they discover that Sam managed to get Emma and it becomes full scale “get your hunt on”. Yawn!! Wolves are so boring!

In the meantime Sam is taking Emma through the woods trying to get as far ahead of them as they can and being totally slowed down by Nicole.  My husband bought up a great point .. why didn’t Sam just shift into a horse and carry them? Which amused the hell out of me until Lafayette was suddenly right there with the car (and as unamused about having saved Nicole as I was) and they all get in and drive off.

Ginger is busy doing her best impersonation of “Eric will be right with you” on the phone with Governor Burrell and then as the place gets stormed Ginger does what she does best and SCREAM!!! She does stop to remember that she is glamoured and meant to tell the Governor that Eric will be right with him because the knots are hard.  Oh Ginger is so messed up.  Even the Governor can see she has been glamoured way more times than she should (remember Season 1 ….. how many glamours ago was that and Pam and Eric were almost worried about her) and he thinks they will have “fun” with her at the camp. Wanna bet that it isn’t our idea of fun??

Eric and Pam are of course looking for Tara who took off with Willa without permission.  Did Tara forget all the vamp powers so it didn’t work out too well as Pam just summoned her.  When Tara doesn’t want to tell them where she took Willa Pam is about to use the trusty “As Your Maker” command but Tara starts screaming.  Well enough with that already! So Eric slams her to the ground and gets the info the old fashioned way.  Have I mentioned that I am loving this seasons Eric? With Willa’s location eric takes off to deal with her leaving Pam irritated that he was mean to Tara.  Wish they would sort the whole Pam / Eric dynamic out.  This is the one thing that really isn’t working for me *sigh*.

Back at the Bellefleur house the fairy girls 1,2,3 and 4 still don’t have names and are now reminding Terry of the little thing he really wants to forget. That he killed Patrick.  PLEASE do not let this be a lead up to Terry going off the rails … again …… dull dull dull ….. but I can’t really see why else this is going to keep popping up.  Someone find a vamp to glamour him already!! PLEASE!!  Anyway fairy girls are sent to bed and there is a cute moment with Andy telling him he is glad he is their dad (awwwwwwww) … but then he shuts the door, the lights go off, and suddenly they are 18!!! UGH!!  I have to say the whole scene was hilarious with the girls comparing boobs and then deciding they need to sneak out and party and the ONLY access to clothes they have is Arlene’s closet!!! TOO FUNNY!!! But seriously they make so much noise, and Andy is supposed to be a cop, on alert, AND a new dad, and NOONE notices as they leave … WITH the Sheriff’s car?  That they just somehow know how to drive? Oh well … let the fun and games begin.  We all know that they are going to get captured by Bill for his crazy experiments …. and they do.

Actually Jessica convinces Bill to let her “abduct” them from the liquor store (nice to see they have the original clerk there .. I got a kick out of that!) ….. and she does a good job convincing them to come party with her … even though she smells funny cos she’s dead.  Oh we know this won’t end well.

So they get back to Bill’s and one of the little fairy girls hits on Bill .. ewwwwwww yes it’s gross.  Bill is more interested in his little history toy that they use when they don’t want to bite people.  Really? Who came up with that?  It just draws blood and stores it in little vials after being strapped on their wrist.  Honestly, it just seemed kinda stupid. And to think that these girls would be hitting on Bill?  RIDICULOUS!!  Once Bill has the blood he takes it to his captured scientist down in the lab and tells him he needs to replicate the fairy blood.  Hmmmmm Failure is not an option!!  Should probably have sounded threatening … to me it just sounded funny!!! But it worked and science guy goes off to work.

And it is on to my favorite part of this week’s episode.  Now I am sure that there are going to be a LOT of fans out there that hated it but I DON’T CARE!!!  Eric gets to where Willa is and finds that she was waiting for him.  Apparently Tara is so stupid she didn’t even glamour her to stay put *sigh* (Tara is SO annoying).  Eric and Willa have a flirty little conversation and Eric is just so charming.  Oh how could anyone resist ….. actually why would anyone WANT to resist lol…. and he carries her off in her flowing white dress (how symbolic) and digs their grave and they jump in.  The music plays, and Eric takes off his shirt and lays down with her *sigh*. She is scared and excited and he just looks at her and says Death is not the end……. is it going to hurt ….. not the way I do it … and fangs come down.  Oh HELL yes!! Now THIS is the True Blood I like to watch.  YAY for vampire Eric!!! 😀  All of you that are out there bitching can just keep it to yourself.  My FAV scene of the season SO FAR!! BY FAR!!!   Anyway where was I …. got distracted there for a bit … got to love the rewind option 😉 …… soooooo fangs down and he leans in for the bite … .although half of the blood in typical true blood feeding style runs everywhere (They should take a couple of lessons from Claudia .. not a drop spilled – FIRST FEEDING …. just saying …) ….. And as Willa lays there dying .. blood running into the ground ….. Eric lets her know that everything her father put in her is now leaving and it is going to be replaced by a millennium of wisdom, honor, and life.  Hmmmmm I always said I wanted Pam as my maker …. I may have changed my mind …..

Then in typical true blood fashion it is daytime and we are with Nicole, Alcide and Emma and Lala.  Nicole plans on limping away with her nasty bite on her leg but Sam convinces her that that would basically just kill her.  Same sends Lafayette away in the car after thanking him for his help and then I had to laugh because Sam turns into a horse!!! TOO FUNNY!!! I actually had to slap my husband at this point because of his earlier comment because seriously how hilarious is that!!!!  Awesome!!!!!   A short time later Alcide and his pack of crazy turn up and are irritated they haven’t caught them yet.  Alcide goes all packmaster crazy with his orders and decides just 2 of them will track Sam and the others can go back.  Oh Why are pack politics so boring? And why is Alcide still being such an asshole.  You know the V has had to have worn off by now!  Guess we can call that packmaster Fever? Hmmm on second thought who cares ….. Oh Later we get to see Sam and Nicole in a hotel room and they are obviously going to get it on.  Which is just stupid!  They were just talking about Luna dying in his arms and he turns to another.  UGH .. enough with the damn shifters and crap!! so I just threw this in with this bit because they are all boring me. Show me the vamps!!!

All over town daytime plans are continuing.  Sookie knows something is up with Ben so does the obvious thing and goes and invites him for dinner.  Actually she does have a plan …. and not just the whole Slutty Sookie thing which she does bring back into play …. Slutty Sookie is not so much fun this season though I have to say ….. but hey it could be worse … she could be going after Alcide!   Jason has a little heart to heart with Niall and Niall “sees” his sexy dream with Ben and works out that everything is wrong so they decide to go after him (without Sookie knowing of course. There can be no kind of useful communication in this show ever … I think it’s a rule when then write the scripts!)

Andy has finally realised that the kids are missing and puts out a crazy APB for 4 caucasian females between 4 and 7 feet tall, between 60 and 260lbs and between the ages of 10 and 50.  Poor Andy …. how would you be able to describe the kids that change that fast?  Terry tries to rationalize that they are just out having fun but as Andy says it isn’t really safe out there right now and well things aren’t going to get better any time soon.

As Sookie shops (and leaves messages telling Jason to keep himself and Niall OUT for the evening), Jason and Niall decide to go hunt down Warlow / Ben / whatever he is.  They find him .. about to take a shower ….. and they go in with Jason armed with a Shot Gun and Niall with his Light Ball.  Sadly Ben is ready for them and he glamours Jason while he makes it clear he is about to do away with Niall.  Poor Jason 😦  He has been mind messed with almost as much as Ginger.  That can’t be good for him.  So Jason leaves (with no memory of what is going on) and Ben starts draining Niall (A mouthful at a time and spitting it out … not quite sure what is up with that). On a side note can I add I really wish they had chosen someone more charismatic to play this Ben / Warlow character.  He just isn’t working for me at all!!!  Just fry him already!  Anyway he takes Niall off to the bridge, not dead, and throws him through the weird portal that keeps appearing there.  Very strange! Is Niall gone for good?  Did they do a Roman and bring him in just to get rid of a big name so fast? Something tells me no … but we will see.

Night falls and Bill is working with his little scientist friend to try and sort out the fairy blood but of course it isn’t that easy.  When Mr Scientist realises that there are other prisoners (ie the fairies) upstairs he says he won’t help which results in Bill floating him around the ceiling until he agrees.   Silly scientist doesn’t seemed to have worked out quite how much trouble he is in.  Probably still thinking about Jessica in last week’s school girl outfit lol.  Sadly for Bill, upstairs the fairies had decided they had had enough and wanted to leave and got way too close to Jessica when she tried to stop them and so she ate them all.  Yep she ate 4 fairies …. but instead of being high she is crying and sobbing and sorry in a corner hoping they aren’t dead. Hmmmmmmm that isn’t right.  Eric is 1000 years old and drains one fairy and is drunk as a skunk and hilarious ….. Jessica, still basically a baby vamp drinks 4 and is just sad?  Hope they plan on explaining THAT next week!!

Andy finally tracks down his cop car and goes to the liquor store where the girls met up with Jessica and Jason realises that the clerk was glamoured and Andy suddenly realises his little vamp daughters are in danger.  But he may be too late …… Did they actually bring them in just to kill them off??  Guess we will see next week ……

With night falling of course Willa has risen and Eric, being the awesome maker that he is has a fresh person on hand to pay to feed her.  Like take out :D.  Love the symbolism of the pure white dress now bloody and filthy as she wanders around with her new vampires senses although she is rather crude when she asks if they are going to fuck and hunt.  Eric luckily has other plans.  He is sending her back to her father so he can see that vampires are not monsters and that they were once human.  He explains over her protests that she is only the second vampire he has made in over 1000 years and he did not choose this likely but when reasoning fails he just uses the whole “As Your Maker I command You” trick and off she goes.  I do love that!!

Talking of Eric’s children, his other child Pam is trying to deal with Tara who is being a pain in the ass as usual and her bitching ends up getting Pam caught by the LAVTF.  UGH I HATE Tara!! And I am irritated with Pam because she keeps letting Tara influence her. I want the old Pam and Eric back!!!!!! Anyway now the LAVTF have Steve, Pam, and Nora that we know of.  Oh this isn’t good.

Their leader, Governor Burrell is at his home with Sarah Newlin and apparently he is “With” Sarah.   YUCK!! Did not need that image thank you oh so much HBO!  Well Sarah is about to talk to the Governor about something very important when they are interrupted by guards who have the new vampire Willa with them.  The Governor sends the guards out … yes not too smart… and Willa tries to explain that it is still her.  Sadly this all kinda goes to hell when she smells the wound on his hand and goes right for his throat but Sarah shoots her before she can do any real damage and says she needs to get sent off to camp.  Hmmmmm now I wonder was this Eric’s plan? She is after all a newborn? Or did he think with his blood in her and a good feeding that she would be able to control herself?  Perhaps his plan is to get her into the camp so he can track her and find where it is?  Guess we will have to wait and see.

Sookie is all ready for her date with Ben / Warlow who is late …. and who has had his food laced with silver.  Good plan Sookie but apparently either you gave him the wrong plate or you can add dealing with silver to his walk in the sun abilities.  Isn’t it great when they can just make up rules as they go along?  Maybe they read the last book after all lol.  Sookie is babbling on about Bill, and liars, and what Ben really wants and for a moment I almost thought she believed that Ben was wanting to be with her ….. especially when she started taking her clothes off.  But apparently slutty Sookie is not as stupid as we all thought and she traps him on the couch with her sparkly light ball that she has been practicing and the final words … Get off Me Or Die Warlow!!!!

And now we wait!!! UGH!!!  And Waiting SUCKS!!!! This season is definitely my favorite for a long time and I want it to be Sunday NOW!!!!

V””V

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My Favorite Lines From  “ At Last”

  • Arlene – “Uncle Terry has a very active imagination and it is rude to snoop around in it”
  • Andy – “It’s time for bed … you ain’t slept since you were 3”
  • Bill – “Failure Is Not An Option”
  • Eric – “So Much Courage, So Little Experience”
  • Eric – “Death Is Not The End”
  • Jason – “Even though you’re a fairy …. you’re kind of a straight fairy right?”

 

True Blood Season 6 Ep 3 – “You’re No Good” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

This week starts with Eric having glamoured his way inside Willa Burrell’s bedroom (having escaped from the guards that is obviously the first place to go) and he is in full awesome Eric mode, dry humor, dash of fear, few little threats.  Loving this Eric!! Welcome back! I have missed you.  No more moping after Sookie .. YAY.  OK got a bit distracted there for a minute ….. So Eric is talking with the glamoured governor’s daughter and asking how devastated certain acts would leave her father.  As Eric is about to kill her Willa manages to break through the glamour enough to tell him that killing her won’t stop her father but she has information that could help him.  Hmmm self preservation is strong with this one!!  We see the SWAT team of idiots storm up the stairs to the rescue only to find Eric has escaped back out the window … taking Willa with him 😀

Back at Billith central, Bill is musing his visions and how he saw all the vampires burning in a room including Jessica, Pam, Eric and Tara and he is determined to stop this! And apparently his plans include the fact that he now believes he is immortal and can walk in the sun.  Oh really Bill?  Yes because Dreams are just like reality.  Jessica has a total freak out at this new go out and meet the sun attitude although I am not quite sure why.  We have seen vampires get caught in the sun before and it isn’t as if they just go “poof” so even worst case scenario he would have time to get in the house *rolls eyes*.   We get Bill standing out there having his “revelation” as the sun rises, the dramatic music plays …. and BILL BURSTS INTO FLAMES!!! Oh I laughed so hard.  He gets into the house and is lying there saying he doesn’t understand …… idiot ….. you are still a vampire!! And vampires can’t be in the sun.  Not complicated!!

Across the cemetery in Sookie’s house she is busy playing with her new light toy and Jason is slowly falling apart.  He has headaches that seem to be getting worse and more debilitating but lucky for him (or not so lucky) he finds a bottle of Lafayette’s meds (who only knows what is in there) and takes them.  Niall is running around doing some flashy light moving thing and zapping people from place to place and uses it to zap Sookie and Jason inside when Warlow (at least we assume it was Warlow) is outside trying to get his hands on Sookie.  Can anyone else watch Rutger Hauer and not see the comedic appearance in the Buffy movie?  It is not quite working for me at the moment but we will see.  He gives Sookie a nice lecture about not being scared enough and I have to agree with Sookie that she has been in danger for so long it probably would be a case of AGAIN?? Rather than all out panic mode. Niall unimpressed goes off alone on a Warlow hunt.  Have fun with that.

Eric takes Willa back to Fangtasia much to Pam and Tara’s disgust.  Pam wants to kill her, Tara wants to glamour her and send her back … and Eric …… Well Eric just wants to keep her because as he points out she is the only leverage he has because the Governor now owns everything else and so duct tape on mouth she goes with them. But fear not ….. Eric has a plan ……

And that plan is … GINGER!!!! Eric heads over and talks his way in (which wasn’t hard … poor Ginger finally thought she was going to get lucky) until she see’s Willa, and Pam .. and then Tara.  Great scene!!! It is decided that Eric and Willa will sleep in the coffin (that apparently Ginger keeps at her place … it is a nice big one too) and Tara and Pam will sleep in the not so nice little Cubby that Ginger has.  Oh they are unamused but as Eric points out he doesn’t trust Pam not to kill Willa lol.  Hmmmm probably a smart move there.

We get to see the “containment” facility where the vampires are being experimented on and learn that they have captured Steve Newlin. Awwww poor Steve does not look like he is doing so well.  Even better we get to see that his ex wife Sarah is back and she is one of the main people running this facility.  As she says it is everything they dreamed about when they were running the fellowship of the Sun … only MORE so.  Oh She was great this week. I am really looking forward to seeing what they do with her character.

Sam and Lafayette were in a bad way last week having taken a big bashing from the wolves as they took Emma and ran off with her but lucky for them the crazy humans from the whole new society that wants to unite all the supes.  Yep they are insane and the boyfriend “Jessie” is a total whack job.  He sounds like a 15 year old teenage boy with his million questions combined with an I act like I know everything attitude.  Lafayette and Sam throw them out and Lala manages to convince Sam that whilst he might not need the others help he is there for him.  I LOVE Lala and he has attitude in SPADES this season!!! Great to have him back!!!

Daytime hits and Niall has found the fairy safe haven / club .. which is sadly not so safe anymore as Warlow has been there and slaughtered everyone in there.  There are just splashes of fairy blood everywhere that Niall is “reading?” to find out what happens and one survivor who holds on long enough to tell Niall it was indeed a vampire before Niall shows him the “True Kindness” and sends him off to fairy dust.  Interesting that there is no sign of Ben in the club …… seems a little odd to me as that was where he was heading.  Even more odd to me that he just happens to “appear” right outside as Niall is leaving.  He recognizes Niall as Fairy Royalty and agrees to help protect Sookie.  I don’t know …. I have read many spoilers about Ben being Sookie’s new love interest etc but this just feels really weird to me.  Possibly another example of me reading way to much into stuff but really? It took him over a day to walk down a road to a field and not be able to find the club?  Not convinced!.

Jason is still not right and is in bed being looked after by Sookie.  They have a nice little chat but there is definitely something else going on with Jason … and I am going to say that this is not good.  Those rumors of losing a main cast character ….. I would be looking very closely at the Stackhouse brother right now.

Holly has gone to see Andy for help about the vampire problem at her motel and she gets to see that his fairy babies are now preteens.  Even funnier is that he hasn’t given them names yet.  He just calls them 1,2,3 and 4.  Brilliant! and so Andy!   He takes Holly off to teach her how to shoot at Camp Bellefleur and we get to see the girls have the typical fairy light powers …. or as Andy calls them Lazer hands!! This is definitely a cute side story but becomes more relevent when we see Andy meet up with Bill a bit later one.

The police have caught up with Alcide and the pack about the kidnapped Emma but the not so nice Ricky forces Emma to shift while Alcide and Martha are outside distracting them.  Definitely not a nice wolf.  Alcide is still power hungry and annoying but Ricky is even worse.  Yawn pack politics are sooooooooo dull!!! Oh and Alcide seems to have no control over what his pack is doing whatsoever.  They just all shift and go do what they want apparently.  Not to worry though because Sam has a plan and he comes to get Emma and get her he does. Sadly the whole Supe Group that have come to make peace with the wolves although work as a great distraction do not have any idea what they have gotten themselves into and get a nice beat down.  Hmmmmm nope I don’t feel sorry for them at all apart from the fact that Sam sees the girl leader in trouble and decides to try and help her even though his priority should be getting Emma out of there.  Sam is just too nice for his own good if you ask me!!! As Lafayette says …. that girl is going to cause Sam trouble!  Even Emma knows it is a bad idea!

Eric is trying to sleep but Willa is in a chatty mood.  Turns out that her mom had an affair with a vampire which is what sparked the whole Governor Burrell vampire hate scheme.  Willa lets it know that she wouldn’t be too upset if things took that kinda turn with the vampire in the coffin with her.  She notices he has the bleeds and touches the blood and lick it off her fingers but Eric is having none of that.  He does however, seductively suck it off of hers.  And then tells her to put the tape back on and go to sleep.  Hmmmmm yes I don’t think that would be happening either lol.

Night falls …. Bill is off to run errands and although he initially wants to leave jess home he instead tells her to get dressed in some nicely inappropriate clothes and go get a professor from a local university who may hold the key to making synthetic blood.  And dress up she does.  She looks great!! And completely distracts the professor from his entire lecture.  What a perv! After all the class leaves she arranges fro some “private” lessons which basically means … she kidnaps him 😀  Brilliant.  Love seeing Jessica like this.  She was finally becoming fun before all this Billith stuff and lately has gone back to being a bit annoying but she totally redeemed herself tonight!

Bill’s errand seems to be all about Sookie but he is not there to help. Turns out he no longer needs an invite to get in and his big plan is to use Sookie to be his “blood pattern” so that they can all drink lots of fairy blood.  Sadly for him Sookie is not on board with this plan and we get to see what as asshole Billith really is.  Not that I am surprised.  I have been saying it for weeks.  In the end Bill leaves, after all his threats about you will come with me willingly or not, without Sookie, but with the ominous warning that she is dead to him.  Good!!  Go away and stay gone! Ugh he is such a loser!!!    Poor Jason however has taken another beating and is really not looking too good. I am telling you …. Jason is high on my “worry” list.

Governor Burrell has finally worked out how to call Eric Northman and Ginger is stupid enough to pick up his phone.  Eric gives Willa to Tara to retape her mouth shut but Tara is not very happy about that.  Eric and the Governor have a nice little chat and I LOVE seeing Eric like this.  He is fully viking in control and letting the humans know how it is and that he is not amused with the Governors plans.  In the meantime although Eric says his phone isn’t traceable apparently they found a way.  Ginger is used as a distraction while Eric and Pam go off to find Tara who has absconded with Willa.  Oh she is so stupid!! Seriously stupid!! Can she not just do as she is told just once??

The episode ends with Bill heading home but bumping into Sheriff Andy on his way and he sees the toys in the front seat of his cruiser.  You KNOW that he can smell the fairy in there and suddenly it looks like Bill may have found a new source for creating his synthetic fairy blood.  This could be good ……. or bad ……. well interesting anyway lol

And now we wait!!! This season is definitely working for me so far .. I am excited for next weeks episode ….. and am LOVING that the vamps are getting to be vamps and a war with humans …. yep I am game for that!

V””V

S6 Ep3

My Favorite Lines From  “ You’re No Good”
■Eric – It’s Just A Bar Pam”  (Yep no one believes that Eric)
■Pam – “Cut Off Her Head and rest it on her stomach and when the Governor storms in here again he’ll have that lovely image burned in his memory forever”
■Lafayette – “Before you turn into a snake or a bear or something else I can’t have a conversation with what is the plan in that pretty little head of yours”.
■Eric -“Sadly Ginger no we will not be fucking on this occasion however the night will come when we do”

■Eric -“The girl will sleep with me because I don’t trust you not to KILL her!”

■Sookie -“This is all happening because you drank the fucking Lilith Blood!”

■Eric -“It’s OK Ginger I understand …. You’re stupid