True Blood Season 6 Ep 3 – “You’re No Good” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

This week starts with Eric having glamoured his way inside Willa Burrell’s bedroom (having escaped from the guards that is obviously the first place to go) and he is in full awesome Eric mode, dry humor, dash of fear, few little threats.  Loving this Eric!! Welcome back! I have missed you.  No more moping after Sookie .. YAY.  OK got a bit distracted there for a minute ….. So Eric is talking with the glamoured governor’s daughter and asking how devastated certain acts would leave her father.  As Eric is about to kill her Willa manages to break through the glamour enough to tell him that killing her won’t stop her father but she has information that could help him.  Hmmm self preservation is strong with this one!!  We see the SWAT team of idiots storm up the stairs to the rescue only to find Eric has escaped back out the window … taking Willa with him 😀

Back at Billith central, Bill is musing his visions and how he saw all the vampires burning in a room including Jessica, Pam, Eric and Tara and he is determined to stop this! And apparently his plans include the fact that he now believes he is immortal and can walk in the sun.  Oh really Bill?  Yes because Dreams are just like reality.  Jessica has a total freak out at this new go out and meet the sun attitude although I am not quite sure why.  We have seen vampires get caught in the sun before and it isn’t as if they just go “poof” so even worst case scenario he would have time to get in the house *rolls eyes*.   We get Bill standing out there having his “revelation” as the sun rises, the dramatic music plays …. and BILL BURSTS INTO FLAMES!!! Oh I laughed so hard.  He gets into the house and is lying there saying he doesn’t understand …… idiot ….. you are still a vampire!! And vampires can’t be in the sun.  Not complicated!!

Across the cemetery in Sookie’s house she is busy playing with her new light toy and Jason is slowly falling apart.  He has headaches that seem to be getting worse and more debilitating but lucky for him (or not so lucky) he finds a bottle of Lafayette’s meds (who only knows what is in there) and takes them.  Niall is running around doing some flashy light moving thing and zapping people from place to place and uses it to zap Sookie and Jason inside when Warlow (at least we assume it was Warlow) is outside trying to get his hands on Sookie.  Can anyone else watch Rutger Hauer and not see the comedic appearance in the Buffy movie?  It is not quite working for me at the moment but we will see.  He gives Sookie a nice lecture about not being scared enough and I have to agree with Sookie that she has been in danger for so long it probably would be a case of AGAIN?? Rather than all out panic mode. Niall unimpressed goes off alone on a Warlow hunt.  Have fun with that.

Eric takes Willa back to Fangtasia much to Pam and Tara’s disgust.  Pam wants to kill her, Tara wants to glamour her and send her back … and Eric …… Well Eric just wants to keep her because as he points out she is the only leverage he has because the Governor now owns everything else and so duct tape on mouth she goes with them. But fear not ….. Eric has a plan ……

And that plan is … GINGER!!!! Eric heads over and talks his way in (which wasn’t hard … poor Ginger finally thought she was going to get lucky) until she see’s Willa, and Pam .. and then Tara.  Great scene!!! It is decided that Eric and Willa will sleep in the coffin (that apparently Ginger keeps at her place … it is a nice big one too) and Tara and Pam will sleep in the not so nice little Cubby that Ginger has.  Oh they are unamused but as Eric points out he doesn’t trust Pam not to kill Willa lol.  Hmmmm probably a smart move there.

We get to see the “containment” facility where the vampires are being experimented on and learn that they have captured Steve Newlin. Awwww poor Steve does not look like he is doing so well.  Even better we get to see that his ex wife Sarah is back and she is one of the main people running this facility.  As she says it is everything they dreamed about when they were running the fellowship of the Sun … only MORE so.  Oh She was great this week. I am really looking forward to seeing what they do with her character.

Sam and Lafayette were in a bad way last week having taken a big bashing from the wolves as they took Emma and ran off with her but lucky for them the crazy humans from the whole new society that wants to unite all the supes.  Yep they are insane and the boyfriend “Jessie” is a total whack job.  He sounds like a 15 year old teenage boy with his million questions combined with an I act like I know everything attitude.  Lafayette and Sam throw them out and Lala manages to convince Sam that whilst he might not need the others help he is there for him.  I LOVE Lala and he has attitude in SPADES this season!!! Great to have him back!!!

Daytime hits and Niall has found the fairy safe haven / club .. which is sadly not so safe anymore as Warlow has been there and slaughtered everyone in there.  There are just splashes of fairy blood everywhere that Niall is “reading?” to find out what happens and one survivor who holds on long enough to tell Niall it was indeed a vampire before Niall shows him the “True Kindness” and sends him off to fairy dust.  Interesting that there is no sign of Ben in the club …… seems a little odd to me as that was where he was heading.  Even more odd to me that he just happens to “appear” right outside as Niall is leaving.  He recognizes Niall as Fairy Royalty and agrees to help protect Sookie.  I don’t know …. I have read many spoilers about Ben being Sookie’s new love interest etc but this just feels really weird to me.  Possibly another example of me reading way to much into stuff but really? It took him over a day to walk down a road to a field and not be able to find the club?  Not convinced!.

Jason is still not right and is in bed being looked after by Sookie.  They have a nice little chat but there is definitely something else going on with Jason … and I am going to say that this is not good.  Those rumors of losing a main cast character ….. I would be looking very closely at the Stackhouse brother right now.

Holly has gone to see Andy for help about the vampire problem at her motel and she gets to see that his fairy babies are now preteens.  Even funnier is that he hasn’t given them names yet.  He just calls them 1,2,3 and 4.  Brilliant! and so Andy!   He takes Holly off to teach her how to shoot at Camp Bellefleur and we get to see the girls have the typical fairy light powers …. or as Andy calls them Lazer hands!! This is definitely a cute side story but becomes more relevent when we see Andy meet up with Bill a bit later one.

The police have caught up with Alcide and the pack about the kidnapped Emma but the not so nice Ricky forces Emma to shift while Alcide and Martha are outside distracting them.  Definitely not a nice wolf.  Alcide is still power hungry and annoying but Ricky is even worse.  Yawn pack politics are sooooooooo dull!!! Oh and Alcide seems to have no control over what his pack is doing whatsoever.  They just all shift and go do what they want apparently.  Not to worry though because Sam has a plan and he comes to get Emma and get her he does. Sadly the whole Supe Group that have come to make peace with the wolves although work as a great distraction do not have any idea what they have gotten themselves into and get a nice beat down.  Hmmmmm nope I don’t feel sorry for them at all apart from the fact that Sam sees the girl leader in trouble and decides to try and help her even though his priority should be getting Emma out of there.  Sam is just too nice for his own good if you ask me!!! As Lafayette says …. that girl is going to cause Sam trouble!  Even Emma knows it is a bad idea!

Eric is trying to sleep but Willa is in a chatty mood.  Turns out that her mom had an affair with a vampire which is what sparked the whole Governor Burrell vampire hate scheme.  Willa lets it know that she wouldn’t be too upset if things took that kinda turn with the vampire in the coffin with her.  She notices he has the bleeds and touches the blood and lick it off her fingers but Eric is having none of that.  He does however, seductively suck it off of hers.  And then tells her to put the tape back on and go to sleep.  Hmmmmm yes I don’t think that would be happening either lol.

Night falls …. Bill is off to run errands and although he initially wants to leave jess home he instead tells her to get dressed in some nicely inappropriate clothes and go get a professor from a local university who may hold the key to making synthetic blood.  And dress up she does.  She looks great!! And completely distracts the professor from his entire lecture.  What a perv! After all the class leaves she arranges fro some “private” lessons which basically means … she kidnaps him 😀  Brilliant.  Love seeing Jessica like this.  She was finally becoming fun before all this Billith stuff and lately has gone back to being a bit annoying but she totally redeemed herself tonight!

Bill’s errand seems to be all about Sookie but he is not there to help. Turns out he no longer needs an invite to get in and his big plan is to use Sookie to be his “blood pattern” so that they can all drink lots of fairy blood.  Sadly for him Sookie is not on board with this plan and we get to see what as asshole Billith really is.  Not that I am surprised.  I have been saying it for weeks.  In the end Bill leaves, after all his threats about you will come with me willingly or not, without Sookie, but with the ominous warning that she is dead to him.  Good!!  Go away and stay gone! Ugh he is such a loser!!!    Poor Jason however has taken another beating and is really not looking too good. I am telling you …. Jason is high on my “worry” list.

Governor Burrell has finally worked out how to call Eric Northman and Ginger is stupid enough to pick up his phone.  Eric gives Willa to Tara to retape her mouth shut but Tara is not very happy about that.  Eric and the Governor have a nice little chat and I LOVE seeing Eric like this.  He is fully viking in control and letting the humans know how it is and that he is not amused with the Governors plans.  In the meantime although Eric says his phone isn’t traceable apparently they found a way.  Ginger is used as a distraction while Eric and Pam go off to find Tara who has absconded with Willa.  Oh she is so stupid!! Seriously stupid!! Can she not just do as she is told just once??

The episode ends with Bill heading home but bumping into Sheriff Andy on his way and he sees the toys in the front seat of his cruiser.  You KNOW that he can smell the fairy in there and suddenly it looks like Bill may have found a new source for creating his synthetic fairy blood.  This could be good ……. or bad ……. well interesting anyway lol

And now we wait!!! This season is definitely working for me so far .. I am excited for next weeks episode ….. and am LOVING that the vamps are getting to be vamps and a war with humans …. yep I am game for that!

V””V

S6 Ep3

My Favorite Lines From  “ You’re No Good”
■Eric – It’s Just A Bar Pam”  (Yep no one believes that Eric)
■Pam – “Cut Off Her Head and rest it on her stomach and when the Governor storms in here again he’ll have that lovely image burned in his memory forever”
■Lafayette – “Before you turn into a snake or a bear or something else I can’t have a conversation with what is the plan in that pretty little head of yours”.
■Eric -“Sadly Ginger no we will not be fucking on this occasion however the night will come when we do”

■Eric -“The girl will sleep with me because I don’t trust you not to KILL her!”

■Sookie -“This is all happening because you drank the fucking Lilith Blood!”

■Eric -“It’s OK Ginger I understand …. You’re stupid

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