True Blood Season 7 Ep 10 – Finale – “Thank You ” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are. The end of the end …. the final episode ever.  So sad 😦 and things aren’t going to get any better because let me warn you right now I WAS NOT AMUSED!!!!!!! So let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season… ummmmm you have pretty much missed it all)…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So here we are …… the time to say goodbye.  Now things actually don’t start off too badly!  The Yakuza are not secretly waiting at Sookie’s house after all and she just looks depressed …. well because she does.  I guess I didn’t allow for the idea that the directors would realize that they would have to drive from Shreveport as usually they just make this stuff up to suit themselves… timing be damned.   Instead we have Bill reminiscing about him first calling on her blah blah blah.  Sookie quite rightly calls him out on everything and he tries to explain that all he wants is for her to live a normal life …. free of vampires …. and even better he has a plan!   He wants her to use her last fairy light to perform “The Ultimate Kindness”  because he loves her too much to ever let her go otherwise and he worries that vampires will always be hunting her. Sookie doesn’t look impressed and tells him to go but we can all see she is thinking about it.  **Cue opening credits …. for the final time ….. sad 😥 **

Now by far the best part of this whole finale!   This was the moment that my hopes were raised and I thought maybe …. just maybe the team might be able to pull it together.  Oh how wrong I was but these scenes were great! 

We get to see Mr Gus’s crazy team of Yakuza racing in their sports car towards Sookie’s house and in the meantime Mr Gus is getting drunk at the bar in Fangtasia.  In the basement Pam and Eric are hovering around Sarah and Eric announces he is going to let her escape through the tunnels.  Eric has a plan and it is a GOOD one!  Obviously completely over all his Hep V Crises and raring to go he has decided that the best plan is to kill Mr Gus and all his associates and to steal the New Blood formula and keep it for themselves! YES!! Great plan Eric … I LOVE it!  So Eric has Pam give Sarah some of her blood so they can always find her and glamours her into escaping and going into hiding and trusting no one.  Off she scampers and then our dynamic duo summon Mr Gus down to the basement complete with guards and as you can imagine he is none to amused to find his little money maker is gone.  Awwwww so sad! Pam and Eric quickly kill the guards (so easily in fact it makes you wonder what the hell they have been waiting for) and Mr Gus tries to make a run for it.  Eric can’t even be bothered to chase him because “humans are slow” and sends a fireball to turn Mr Gus into one very crispy critter  ….. bye bye Mr Gus.  You and your annoying accent won’t be missed at all!!!

Of course there are still the Yakuza group heading to deal with Sookie but fear not.  Eric swoops on over and dispatches them with Sookie just hearing a slight noise out the window.  Best scene of the night shows us Eric driving the sports car, crazy music blaring, dancing along with a pile of Yakuza bodies in the back seat!! LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!! Now I am not normally one for GIFS in my reviews but Click HERE to see it (Courtesy of Eric Northman Tumblr) because it was THE BEST scene of the entire episode :D.

Sadly that is it for the main episode with Eric.  We do get to see a little clip with Sarah begging Pam to turn her into a vampire to which Pam is highly amused and lets her know it is NEVER going to happen and we also find out that Sarah learned a lot from reading Bill’s book but Pam only skimmed the parts to read about her.  I LOVE Pam!!  What this finale needed was much more Pam and Eric and much less of everything else.  Sadly though that is all from them and then the episode just goes downhill …. fast!!!

We head over to the Compton manor where Jessica decides to come home for a final visit and she brings Hoyt with her.  After saying she will never understand she then basically does a 180 and tells Bill she will be OK and Bill summizes she will be with Hoyt and bluntly asks if they will be getting married eventually. Now they have been back together less than 24 hours at this point and we have to hear a ridiculous blurb about how Bill never got to walk his daughter down the aisle and how he never got to meet her future husband as he had been made vampire by then …. ummmmmm didn’t your daughter die as a child? No husband ever in the picture?  Whatever….. I don’t actually care at this point.  This whole thing was ridiculous. 20 minutes of this finale is wasted by a stupid wedding, totally pointless, in the daytime … and NO ONE CARES!!! UGH!!! This was torture!!!!!  Andy officiates (after a little chat with Bill about him being the heir to the Compton manor … oh continuity … the didn’t forget that Jessica can’t have the house yet and Andy agrees to rent it to Jessica and Hoyt for $1 a month basically forever), Jason is the best man, Sookie is the bridesmaid and Bill gives her away oh and Holly and Arlene are there too. WASTE OF TIME!!!!! The only “useful” thing to come out of it was that we learned Sookie could hear Bill’s thoughts showing us that this Hep V, combined with Sookie’s fairy blood was indeed making him more human.   Even begged the question (from my husband) ….. was Bill going to become human?? Was that going to be the big twist??  Personally I was thinking NOOOOOO WAY … but I have to admit .. that would have been WAY better than then ending we got stuck with.

As always when Sookie has to ponder any big decisions we get flashbacks to her childhood (Yes it was nice to see Gran again for a minute even though it was blatantly thrown in there so she could say that Sookie should never compromise herself because she is different) and then we get the discussion with Jason, who lets Sookie know he is not good at those kind of decisions but will stand by her no matter what she chooses and Sookie tells Jason she listened in Bridgette’s head and she likes him .. and he should act on that.  Subtle!!   Then eventually Sookie ends up talking to Reverend Daniels for some spiritual guidance.   Is Sookie the way she is because God wants her to be … or because he made a mistake.  UGH BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell kind of finale is this??? BORED BORED BORED!!!!! 

So the big question becomes what will Sookie do. As the end fast approaches she calls Bill and tells him she has made all the arrangements and he is to meet her in the cemetery at sundown.  We see her leave in a simple black dress, a stark contrast to her other meetings with Bill in her little white dress (that was a nice touch) and we find her waiting by Bill’s open grave.  She is surprised there is a coffin in there and when Bill arrives he explains that they used to do that as it was easier for the families.  Inside his coffin is the picture of him and his daughter (so that was the reason for that flashback before) and Bill lies down as Sookie prepares to blast him.  Wait …. NO WAY .. there is no way that she is going to kill Bill with her Fairy light and go back to being human …. and nope sure enough as she stands there for ages with the light in her hand we see the resignation cross her face and she says she can’t do it.   Knew it!  No way they would have Sookie kill Bill ….. she is going to save him .. or he will become human … right ……. WRONG!!! Sookie admits that she can’t give up being Fairy as it is a part of her but she asks him if he still wants to die and he does.  So she gabs a shovel and snaps it (hmmmmm OK … those things are MUCH harder than that to break) and creates a stake, climbs down into the coffin with him … and then with their hands both on it … plunges it in!   I CAN’T BELIEVE IT .. They actually killed off Bill …. for real this time .. no coming back as some mystical blood god ….. he is gone.   Sookie is left covered in vampire remains and we see her place the lid on the coffin and start covering it in dirt as she cries.  Wait that can’t be it …. .this is how it ends??  We see Sookie walking away from the cemetery still crying and the darkness covers the screen …. UMMMMM WHAT??? This is the end ……..

Actually that would have been a better ending!!!!  No …. as always they had to keep going.  Although at that point I was already bitching that there had been no more Pam and Eric I think I would have rather left it there.  It certainly would have been more dramatic.  Instead we are treated to 10 minutes of flash forwards.  So are you ready … here we go.

First flash forward is “about a year later” and we see a very cheesy Eric hosting an “infomercial” for New Blood complete with Pam.  They explain how although they never caught Sarah they were able to get a couple of drops of her blood from her escape through a window and synthesize it that way.  There is even a cameo from Charlaine Harris sitting behind the teleprompter.  

 

Flash Forward to 3 years after that and we get to see Pam and Eric opening the trading by ringing the bell at the NY Stock Exchange with a big poster of New Blood behind them so we are to assume that business is going very well for them

Flash forward to “The Following Thanksgiving” so I am guessing about 5 years?  And we get to see …. well pretty much everyone including a VERY pregnant Sookie.  As to who the father is … well we never get to see him.  We get a mystery pair of hands putting a turkey in a deep fryer outside in the sun and then a voice calling “Turkey is in” as Sookie potters around in the kitchen. We get a glimpse over at Jason’s house where we find a pregnant Bridgette and 3 kids already … one of those girls clearly looking older than 4 which would be the right age to fit in their stupid flash forward …… STUPID ROOKIE ERROR ….. (Side note … the song playing was actually played in Season 1 at Arlene and Rene’s engagement party)…… Back at Sookie’s we see Sam and Nicole getting out of the truck complete with one daughter (looking about 5) and another one obviously on the way (apparently they all needed to be pregnant to finish things off).

Suddenly it is night and we head over to Fangtasia where we see Eric sitting on his throne, looking bored and rather sad.  Pretty reminiscent of Season 1 Eric but with shorter hair and in complete contrast to the flash forwards already shown with his success.   We get to see that Pam is in the basement charging $100,000 a minute to bite Sarah and Pam is loving every minute of it.  Sarah on the other hand is tortured and having visions of Steve… which while visions of Steve are always amusing … it was sort of pointless. 

And then to finish we have the great big sweeping, all encompassing, show everyone happy, thanksgiving feast at Sookie’s where we get to see that Hoyt and Jessica are still together, Arlene and Keith are still together, James and Lafayette are still together, Revered Daniels and Lettie Mae,  even Jade Bodehouse has a guy and is at the feast.  LITERALLY everyone is there.  Holly, Andy and the kids … that haven’t aged … at all … not even Adelyn the fast growing fairy has age a day in the 4-5 years … ummmmm STUPID!!!! Then to top everything off we get to NOT see who Sookie is with …. except his back and a slight side view.

THE END 😦

Not the ending I wanted … not an ending I saw coming …. not an ending I am on board with ….. seriously they should have left it with Sookie covered in Bill’s blood …… overall a general let down so thank you HBO for sucking me in for 7 years and then leaving me wanting.   YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Mr Gus ?? (Does he count as main cast?)
BILL!!!! WOW they actually killed him off!! 

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie
Violet
Bill

Eric and Pam Finale

My Favorite Lines From “Thank You”

  • Sookie – “If you are feeling this nostalgic Bill I gotta ask …. What the Fuck???” 
  • Pam – “Are you just winging it or do you have a plan here”
  • Eric –  “I’ve tried trusting, i’ve tried sharing …. it’s just not fucking working for me!”
  • Eric – “Humans are slow.” 
  • Sarah – “I’m a horrible person … which is why I think I would make a kick ass vampire”
  • Gran – “There are no limits on you if you don’t put them on yourself”. 

True Blood Season 7 Ep 9 – “Love is to Die ” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season… ummmmm you have pretty much missed it all)…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Only 2 episodes left …. EVER …..   AHHHHHHH As much as this season is continuing with the “filler episodes” (seriously you are pretty much running out of time here … LITERALLY) I am still so sad this this is ending.  At this point the only good thing is that it is pretty much all dealing with the cast we know and apart from one scene saying goodbye there are no more shifters or wolves to deal with in Bon Temps.  Awwwwww almost like the beginning …… *sigh* ……

This week was really just a whole lot of talking! For the first time I could really feel the writers were trying to “wrap things up” and that things really are ending.  Despite the fact that, and let’s be honest here, the plotlines have totally lost themselves many times over to the point where sometimes I don’t even think the writers know where to go with things …. we are all here because this show will always hold a special place in our hearts … well my hear anyway …. OK enough of that …. On with the show!!

This week starts up right where we left off last week with Bill refusing to drink the cure.  Despite Jessica and Sookie pleading and giving their best arguments Bill tells them he is choosing the True Death.  Eric seems to be the only one that even slightly understands as he stops Sookie from repeatedly slapping Bill as she demands answers and sends Bill away.  But not before Jessica can demand that he releases her.  Bill looks torn for just a moment but then says the beautiful little speech and he leaves with Eric comforting a sobbing Sookie.   Pam obviously understands how much this hurts and Jessica turns to her and sobs in her arms …. but this is Pam is still Pam and says that if she cries on the jacket she’ll have to pay for it! HA!  Wouldn’t want us thinking she was too nice now would we!  **Roll opening credits**

Slight detour after the credits with Sookie and Jessica now apparently visiting Sam’s place.  There doesn’t seem to be any reason for this other than the fact that the audience gets to find out that Sam has left with Nicole and doesn’t plan on coming back.  There are 2 notes on the table.  One for Sookie and one for Andy.  Sookie’s letter is full of the explanation and we get to see (via flashback) Sam and Nicole packing everything up and leaving.  So goodbye Sam.  Looks like you get to survive and there will be no bookish type ending (so at least we can be grateful for that!)   And thus ends the shifter / wolf input this episode.  YAY lol

Sookie and Jessica head to the bar where everyone seems to be hanging out with the justification that Arlene has seen Field of Dreams and is doing the we are going to all be here until the customers work out things are back open and fake it until we make it.  As there are no customers they are going to have their own little party (Big John is cooking, Lala and James are there,  Keith, Arlene, Holly, her boys and Adelyn, and now Sookie and Jessica oh and a mystery waitress ….. really there are still people in this town we don’t know??? Ummmm FAIL! ).   Sookie takes Andy in the back to give him his letter from Sam thinking it is going to be emotional but turns out that it just says that he resigns as mayor.  Poor Andy!! Although it was pretty funny!

There are lots of “wrapping up” moments this week.  Jessica and James sort out their differences and James goes off to be happy with Lafayette and Jessica goes off into the night (we find out why all too soon).

Everyone else settles down to eat but Sookie is separate at the bar.  After a little telepathic intervention from Adelyn, Arlene heads over and has a little heart to heart.  Sookie tells Arlene about Bill and asks how Arlene keeps starting over and Arlene basically tells her she just has to kind of make up her mind to do so and they head over to the table where everyone is sitting to eat.

Now here I though with the way the camera was panning and them calling Lafayette from the kitchen to come join them that something bad was about to happen.  Because that’s how it works right? Nice scene … setting up for crazy ….. but nope.  Apparently tonight they all just get to have a nice dinner.  See you know things are actually ending when that sort of thing happens 😦

While they are eating Bill gets an unexpected visit from Eric and yes it is another heart to heart.  This episode is absolutely overflowing with them.  Eric tries to explain that he thinks the disease talking and not really Bill.  He talks about it attacking his spirit and how when Pam had found him he was in the same place. Bill explains about his dreams and how that he can see that he is ruining her life and until he is gone she has no chance.  Something seems to register for Eric and he agrees to get Sookie to  talk to Bill so Bill can explain before he dies.

Eric goes back to Bellefleurs and finds Sookie and explains that he has spoken to Bill and she needs to talk to him and hear him out.  The way Eric looks at her when they are talking is just so lovely.  He offers to give her a lift and she points out he doesn’t have a car.  He swoops her up in his arms and they take to the sky.  Awwwwwww at this point I am almost back to wanting Eric and Sookie back together despite the fact that she most certainly DOES NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES deserve him … but he obviously loves her (although I can’t work out for the life of me why) *Sigh*.    When they land at Sookie’s the look that Eric gives her just breaks my heart (see picture) but she doesn’t seem to get it.  Or she does and she’s just ignoring it.  He tells her that her phone is ringing and it is probably Bill and then he takes off to the sky and she goes in …. it is of course Bill on the phone and he is coming there to call on her shortly. 

Over in another part of town Hoyt and Bridget are fighting because she is still mad that Hoyt doesn’t want kids.  But that isn’t the real issue for her.  The real issue is the obviously chemistry she saw between Hoyt and Jessica.  Now poor Hoyt really doesn’t remember anything from before but Bridget isn’t quite buying that and when he admits that he went to the clinic to donate blood for Bill.  Bridget just starts to forgive him when, with perfect timing, Jessica knocks at the door.  Jessica tries to explain to Bridget that Hoyt isn’t lying. That she knows him but he doesn’t know her.  Hmmmm can you imagine being a non vamp person and trying to get your head around that lol.   Bridget tells Hoyt that she is confused and doesn’t want to hear any of it but if Hoyt does he can go out there but basically not to come back….. and of course he does!

Jessica explains that Bill has released her and everything going on with him and that she felt she had no one else she could talk to because he was the first man that she every loved.   The whole scene is really sweet.  These two always made a really cute couple! 

Bridget calls Jason as he is the only person that she know’s in the whole town.  She tells him that Jessica is explaining everything and Jason rushes over in his police car with the lights and sirens blazing just in time to get punched in the face and knocked out by Hoyt.  Yep Jason guess Hoyt has been told everything.  Next thing we know Jason is in the car with Bridget and as he comes around she is telling him they are heading to the hospital. Jason rationalizes that there is nobody working there and he has had loads of concussions and will be fine so to just go to his house but he wants to make it clear that they will not be having sex tonight.   Bridget is pretty shocked and explains that there is no way that would have happened anyway but Jason knows better lol.  She doesn’t quite understand but oh she will.

When they get to the house Bridget is trying to get her flight changed to go home but is getting nowhere with the airline.  Jason asks if it is a man or a woman on the line and when he finds out it is a woman he takes the phone and turns on that classic Jason charm.  This season really has shown Jason at his best.  He has been brilliant and again manages to save the day in his own crazy way and he gets Bridget a flight back before heading into the other room to put an ice pack on his head …. and then his other head to try and convince himself he is not going to sleep with Bridget. 

Bridget comes out of the other room and says she is hungry but all they have is beer. They sit at the counter for a bit and Jason explains about his life and how Math was hard and women weren’t.  All Jason can think about are the things that Hoyt told him when he first found out about Jason and Jessica.   Jason tells her the whole story and when he finishes Bridget tells him he is wrong and that  she is going to teach him how not to have sex with a woman lol. (Yes a skill every man is just itching to learn i’m sure!)

They lay in bed (on separate sides) and the plan is to tell each other facts about each other that they don’t know.  Jason ends up admitting that he wants children and he doesn’t know if he is right to be a father.  What if he has a daughter and she meets a guy like him.  What would he do then?  Well the obvious answer is most men would freak out and ground the daughter and kill the guy ….. but apparently the right answer is … you will be fine.  Everything is already in him to be a great guy.  Well OK then *sigh* …. and nope .. no Bridget Jason action.  He even keeps his top on. 

Meanwhile Hoyt and Jessica have moved their talk inside and things are getting more intense and Jessica eventually uses her blood to heal his hand and then things get all hot and intense and we get some nice Hoyt / Jessica action.  I guess those two were meant to be together after all ❤

At Fangtasia it is time for a change of pace and Sarah is taken upstairs ….to the back office for a makeover. They are turning her back to blonde.  Pam is back in hair mode again complete with foils!! (Season 2 anyone??)  She makes a big deal about glamouring Sarah so that she won’t scream but she can still talk. Hmmmm this could be a problem or why show it?   In the meantime Pam has a nice little story to go with things about whores and how Sarah will be making them a great deal of money because they will be able to sell her out as a “cure” to the highest bidders. 

Bill is walking across the cemetery to visit Sookie and he stops at the graves of his children.  With the minutes ticking down to the end of this installment I will confess I half expected him to collapse there and then and leave us hanging until next week to find out what happens but apparently that is not to be the case as we see him arrive at the Sookies.  Sookie is inside sitting at the table but I think something is wrong.  I think the Yukuza are there.  Why you might ask ….. well wait for it ……..

Back at Fangtasia Eric walks in to find a very annoyed Ginger who is bitching that Eric didn’t tell her that he wasn’t going to die.  Eric is not in the mood to deal with her and bitches back about how he has spent all evening dealing with other people’s relationship problems and how that is so not him and so he wants to apologize to her and make it up to her the best way he can think of.  He says he is going to fuck her!  He asks where she imagines them doing it …. seriously I thought at this point it was going to change into a dream but nope .. apparently Ginger is going to get her wish and finally get some Eric action!  Sadly for Ginger she does’t seem able to take a whole lot of Eric action before collapsing into a heap on the floor leaving Eric with nothing other than messed up hair.   It’s all rather ridiculous but she seems happy and she’s waited 7 seasons for her moment so I’m glad she at least enjoyed it lol

Sadly for Eric things are about to get a whole lot worse.  He goes hunting for Pam and finds her silvered to a table in the dungeon with a nasty stake hanging perilously above her suspended by a few ropes.  The Yukuza are gradually cutting the ropes to get Eric to talk and it works.  He admits that Sookie knows about Sarah being the cure …. the music turns dark and somber and seriously at this point I was fearing for Pam.  I am still not 100% sure that Pam will make it through but she survived this week.  I won’t lie, my heart was definitely in my throat there for a minute……. 

And now we wait until next week and the final episode. Oh it has come around so fast 😥.    The big question still remains who will make it to the end? Who will Sookie end up with?  Will she become a vampire to save Bill?  Why do I still have a horrible feeling Pam is going to be one of the ones to not make it? Things have totally taken a turn from the beginning of the seasons and all the bets have changed.  Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my final  thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie
Violet

Eric S7 ep 9

My Favorite Lines From “Love is to Die”

  • Pam – “If you cry on my jacket you’re paying for it sweetheart” 
  • Bridget – “Southern Eyelashes that go on for days.”
  • Hoyt –  “I want you to tell me the story of us ”
  • Arlene – “We can’t have sex .. it would kinda kill him if we did.” 
  • Eric – “Get over yourself Bill! ”
  • Eric – “I’m over 1000 years old! If I had an aptitude for marriage counselling don’t you think I would have figured that out by now”. 
  • Jason– “You just happened to pick a guy who’d already met the girl he was supposed to be with”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 8 – “Almost Home” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Wow only 3 episodes left including this one.  AHHHHHHH As much as this season is continuing with the “filler episodes” (seriously you are pretty much running out of time here … LITERALLY) I am still so sad this this is ending.  I have the feeling that the finale is going to kick some major ass and I will just be yelling obscenities at the screen for several minutes :(.  On the plus side there were ZERO shifter mentions / issues/ references this week 😀 So that is something to celebrate lol.

Right then everybody ready because here we go!   Again this week can be split up into just a few little boxes as other than a couple of proper plot points this week was just full of things that are (I hope) going to go somewhere.   We start with Sarah or “Numi” at the camp knowing they are all outside waiting to kill her.  She is talking to her imaginary Jason and he agrees that it is time to die.  Out she goes ready to take on death and claiming that she will come back as “The Princess Of Peace” … ummmm OK crazy bitch ….  and Eric almost delivers it to her (seriously lets blame the Hep V for addling his brain THIS much …. I mean DRINK FIRST …. Cure … remember???) but Pam grabs one of the guns armed with a wooden bullet and threatens to kill herself if he doesn’t cure himself and hand her over.  Thankfully he does and we get a shot of the powerful Eric yelling at the sky with some overly ridiculous long fans but hey … HE IS CURED!!!!! Wooooo Hooooo!!!! And Sarah is tossed to the floor to be swept up by the corporation and the opening credits roll!

One of the main stories this episode is Sookie still desperate to save Bill.   We see them relaxing (and we see way too much of Bill and his nasty veins) and they are chatting about the past.  Boring boring boring!  Was this meant to be a recap for us? Because those of us that watch a lot know this … and we also don’t care.  The only possibly relevant part of this conversation could be that Sophie Ann wanted to breed Sookie.   That is 2 baby references in regard to Bill in 2 weeks …. plus we think we are going to get through the whole episode with out a “Bill Flashback” and technically I suppose we do because the one they show 5 minutes from the end turns out to be Sookie and not Caroline holding a baby … which is not a baby but a bundle of darkness. Hmmmmmm I assume there is a reason for this but I have no idea what it is and I am not really sure that as Bill is involved I actually care.

Perhaps the most annoying (and pointless time filling crap) this episode is the whole Tara chapter which does at least finally gets closed once and for all.  Lafayette and Lettie Mae are still digging random holes in their old houses’s garden (while the confused family just stand there and look on …… I am assuming at this point if you live in Bon Temps pretty much anything goes???).  The Reverend comes along to try and talk them out of doing anymore but instead gets convinced to join them on the V trip and James turns up and supplies the blood.  I adore James!  I wish they were doing more with his character this season!!!! He seems to have been  relegated to V supplier :(.   Anyway ….. whole bunch of time spent with the Lala, Lettie Mae and the Rev high as kites and following Tara through a pointless flashback to an old birthday where we learn that Lettie Mae was abused by Tara’s dad.  He freaked out because he couldn’t find his gun (turns out Tara had hidden it) …. Tara has the opportunity to shoot him but doesn’t and she buries the gun in the back yard and he leaves them forever.   That is what they are hunting for.  The gun.   OK ANYONE have any guesses as to why of ALL the things they could have come up with THIS was the storyline they went with.  UGH YAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Gun found Tara and her mom say goodbye and she heads off and is supposedly at peace now.   WASTE OF SCREEN TIME!!!!!

In more exciting news Jason is over at the Fortenberry house with Hoyt and Bridget as they sort through all the things and there is a fair amount of tension going on especially as Bridget mentions having babies.  Hoyt is not in a “baby” place and apparently doesn’t know if he ever will be.  Poor Jason is just sitting there when he gets a text, complete with pictures, showing that Violet has Adelyn and Jessica all tied up and telling him he needs to come.   Obviously he rushes straight to the car but there is a problem…. Bridget doesn’t want to stay and fight with Hoyt so she gets in the car too.  Hmmmmm weird!!!  Jason calls Andy but he is too far out so he is rushing to the rescue … and apparently Bridget is going with them because she won’t get out the car!

Jason leaves Bridget in the car with a gun full of Silver bullets (which is not too thrilled about but hey she was the one that insisted on going …. at least she didn’t insist on going INTO the house).  As Jason explores there is some beautiful music playing (I need to track this down!) and he is jumping at all the statues placed everywhere as if Violet doesn’t already know that he has arrived lol.  She of course pounces on him and he doesn’t stand a chance and before he knows it he is he is gagged and restrained and learning about the fates that are about to end all the prisoners, described in glorious detail as Violet swans around a room she clearly loves and has used many times in the past.

Wade is going to have all his fingers crushed and then his head crushed in a vice while Adelyn watches.   Next will be Adelyn who will get to experience this awful claw looking device called “The Breast Ripper” which will be heated up and then literally grasp and tear all the flesh from her chest and the she will slowly drain her dry. Jessica will be next and Violet correctly works out that Jessica was a virgin where she was turned and so her punishment will be to be fucked by a red hot metal dildo every 10 minutes for days.  Wow … Violet really isn’t happy!   Before we can find out what fate was in store for Jason, Violet tells us was that all she wanted was for Jason to worship her for the perfect creature that she was …. and then Hoyt appears and shoots her in the back and it is bye bye Violet.  Another abrupt ending with a lot less drama than hoped for :(.

So Violet is dead, Hoyt is the hero and the prisoners are safe.  You can see Jessica looking at him in a whole new light again.  Bridget is sitting with Jason and Hoyt and Jessica are chatting and there are just sparks everywhere.  I wonder if they will unglamour Hoyt somehow.  Hmmmmmm  This could get interesting but they need to hurry up! There are only 2 episodes to sort this out!! Damn you HBO!   Andy and Holly arrive and are thrilled that Hoyt saved the day.  Yay … Go Hoyt!!   It is shame that he won’t know that he killed the vampire that killed his mother.  I hope he gets to find this out ..especially with them having preached the whole “circle of everything” ….  although then he would know that Maxine had definitely gone to the dark side and in that moment Violet was the good guy ….. kinda …. fun that it is all so mixed up!  Sometimes True Blood can make things interesting after all :D.

Later we see Hoyt head to the Compton mansion and he is starting to leave Jessica a note and a brown bag (ummmm this all looks rather familiar ………) when Jessica hears him and invites him in. In the bag is some of his blood that he had drained at the clinic because he is “clean” and thought it would help with Bill.  Awwwww now if we could just fix that pesky glamour issue ……. He says that him and Bridget will be around for a couple of days before they leave back for Alaska and we all know in the True Blood world that leaves time for ANYTHING to happen :D… and I am sure it will!


The third and final main plot line this week is that now they have Sarah they are going to synthesize her blood and create New Blood (Nu Blood?) to cure everyone.  Eric and Pam are wondering what the delay is and they get a little lesson in how this business is going to work.  Turns out it only took a couple of hours to synthesize and perfectly replicate Sarah’s blood. The thing is they don’t want it perfect.  If it is perfect then everyone will be cured and that doesn’t create a “Demand and Supply” cycle.  We learn that Gilette COULD produce a razor that would never dull …. but they don’t ….. Energizer could make an everlasting battery … but they don’t.  What they want to create is something that will keep them healthy as long as they are drinking the product and urges Pam and Eric to just stay quiet about it.

As Pam and Eric do love their money this is not as issue at first ….. but Eric just HAS to go and let Sookie know that he is OK now *sigh* and you know what that means! Yep she sees that he is cured and she wants the same for Bill! UGH!!!  Even worse you can see that Eric wants to give it to her …. but he can’t.  He tells her that dawn is coming and he will return the following night with answers and takes off into the sky leaving a very frustrated Sookie standing in the doorway.

Well we all know Sookie isn’t going to wait …. especially as she doesn’t believe that Bill may HAVE until the following evening and so she comes up with a plan and that plan involves jumping in her truck and driving out to Fangtasia.  Yes AWESOME plan Sookie!  She is greeted by the Yokomoto guards and she convinces them that she needs to see Eric Northman but that does not go down well overall.  Luckily she is smart enough not to argue when Eric calls her a Fangbanger and pretends to glamour her.  She does overhear cowboy leaders thoughts that he hopes that they are not betraying him and something seems off and she also hears that the cure is in the basement.  She goes through her little pretending routine (with a series of absolutely ridiculously over exaggerated nods and head shakes)   and leaves Fangtastia but only to drive as far as the back entrance where she sneaks back in and find Sarah in the basement.  Finally she does something smart and leaves Sarah but we all know when she leaves she plans on returning that night with Bill to fix him!

Night falls and cowboy boss is not feeling too trusting and tells Eric and Pam he is going out and suggests they stay in the club … with some of his guards.  They don’t object but we soon see them heading down to Sarah and Pam quite rightly points out that they are going to do something stupid aren’t they!  Love Pam! Strangely the guards don’t seem to be interested in anything they are doing unless they are trying to leave (or I assume leave with Sarah) so they get to visit alone.  As they are deciding exactly what to do Sookie arrives back with Jessica helping to bring Bill and they all stand there until Eric tells them to hurry up and get it over with so they can all get out of there before they get caught.  There is just one problem …. Bill has decided not to drink …….

UGH I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! …. Roll credits ……. (of course)

And now we wait until next week and the penultimate episode. Oh it has come around so fast :'(.    The big question remains who will make it to the end? Things have totally taken a turn from the beginning of the seasons and all the bets have changed.  Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Violet – taken out in unceremonious fashion by a bullet in the back by Hoyt

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie
Violet

S7 Ep 8

My Favorite Lines From “Almost Home”

  • Hoyt – “From my perspective it is all fucking awful!”
  • Pam – “Why the fuck aren’t we already printing money.”
  • Eric “The shorter the half life the greater the profit! ”
  • Violet – “So you do have the balls to be loyal to at least one woman!” 
  • Violet– “All I wanted was for you to worship me for the perfect creature that I am ”
  • Pam – “We are doing something stupid aren’t we”. 
  • Pam – “Of course it’s happening fast it’s Sookie.  Everything she wants she has to have now!”
  • Pam – “Drink the bitch and leave before we all die!”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 6– “Karma” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because! Oh and with Comic Con being last  weekend there was an AWESOME trailer for the upcoming final episodes shown ….. if you missed it you can check it out HERE.

Right then everybody ready because here we go and this week starts off in a pretty damn awesome fashion with Eric strolling down the hallways carrying the ripped out jaw of the Yukuza member he took down last week.  Of course life can’t be that easy and there are a bunch more waiting for him – all of which he takes out although you can see he is finding it a lot more of an effort that normal (but nothing like the failure to punch through a wall a couple of episodes ago …… sooo continuity issues or adrenalin rush??? Who the hell knows at this point but we get to see Eric being all well ….. Eric like lol so that is always fun). I did love his little pause to ask “Really?” before smashing up a few more of their little killer team but sadly this fun comes to an end when other team members bring a silvered Pam around the corner.  UGH really Pam?  Again? I know you can fight better than this!!!!!  Pam and Eric are escorted in some nifty looking cars to (what I assume to be) the Yokomoto headquarters where they are placed in a room with huge windows and a clock in front of them with a countdown to dawn.  As they are left there alone, presumably to meet the sun, Eric says to Pam “Our first Sunrise together” …. awwwwwww and they share a look and the opening credits roll.

One of the other big revelations last week at the end was Bill showing the first signs of Hep V.  That takes up a fair amount of time this episode and starts with him calling a lawyer to get his affairs in order.  Turns out this is quite a popular thing at the moment and so no appointments are available and so the only option he has is to go down and wait to be seen.   Jessica overhears this conversation but doesn’t confront him about it even when he says he will be leaving and won’t be back until late so not to wait up for him.  We get to follow Bill to the lawyers office which looks like a DMV waiting room with a take a number and wait system and the average wait time it 5-7 hours which will take them up until after sunrise.   Not having much other option as the tell tale black veins are already spreading Bill sits in for the long haul and we get to see that his Hep V is spreading at an alarming rate.  The nasty black veins are appearing more and more before our eyes.  Well that can’t be good! 

On the other side of town Lafayette is none to amused with Lettie Mae’s actions at the party and he takes her back to his house.  She tries to insist she needs to go home because the Reverend will be waiting but Lala is too smart to fall for that knowing that she gave him enough Benedryl to knock him out for hours.  When they get inside James is waiting and looking to take Lafayette up on his offer of a place to crash but things take a little turn with Lettie Mae ranting on about seeing Tara …. James is actually on HER side.  He says that Lafayette of all people should understand the doorways it can open and they come to an arrangement that while James goes off to bed for the day Lafayette and Lettie Mae will go on a V induced trip together.

 Now I want to take a little time out here for a bitch ….. not really relevant to anything other than my annoyance to continuity so feel free to skip to the next paragraph for episode only related info. People have been getting high off of V in this show since Season 1 with Jason and the trips we took then.  Now they have changed the rules so often it makes my head spin (if you use it for healing you don’t seem to get the effects …. unless you are Lettie Mae) …. if you drink a few drops for “finding purposes” again no fun effects ….. but a couple of weeks ago Lettie Mae swallowed a great deal more of Willa’s blood and had a very short induced little trip.  This week Lala and her take not much more than A DROP of James’s blood (and honestly he isn’t exactly a super vamp now is he???) and they trip for HOURS apparently.

OK Rant over … so yes off Lala and Lettie Mae go on their V Trip and they find Tara, back on the cross, and they get her down, and then she is gone and running through the forest (in a dress that looks suspiciously like one of the Maenad’s bridesmaid’s dresses from Season 2) and they find her at her old house crazily digging up random holes in the back yard like a crazy woman.  We don’t get to see WHAT she is digging for as Reverend Daniels chooses that moment to come to the house and shake them out of their little V trip.   Well Lettie Mae is none to thrilled with that and even Lafayette argues that Tara is trying to tell them something but the Rev has had enough and says she has to choose.  Well of course she chooses Tara but we have no idea at this point what that is going to mean.  To be continued next week I guess. 

So I am sure we all remember the Jason / Jessica / Violet issue from last week?  Well Violet starts this week with  whole new approach to things rather than KILL which has been her previous motto.  She decides the ultimate seduction is the way to go but even with that when Jessica calls Jason because she needs him to get Sookie so she can tell him about Bill he leaves to go to her.  Of course he thinks Violet is asleep at the time but once he leaves she goes mad and smashes everything up.  THERE is the Violet I have been expecting to see!  

Jason in the meantime has gone to get Sookie to take her to Jessica’s and they get the news that Jessica has discovered Bill is Hep V positive.  At first Jason won’t believe it but then Sookie realizes that when she scratched her arm with the big stick when she was playing bait she got drenched in Hep V Vamp goo and so it must be her.  They don’t want to believe it but it is off to the clinic they go for a blood test and promises to Jessica that they will let her know when they do.

Unsurprisingly the results are in and Sookie has Hep V and I am expecting that her weird Fairy blood is the cause for Bill’s symptoms and their rapid progress.  Guess Fairy blood isn’t good for everything after all! One good thing to come out of it all is that while they are waiting Jason decides he is going to break it off with Violet …. and when I say good I mean good viewing … obviously we ALL know Violet isn’t going to take that one lying down!

 Talking of Bill we see him still getting worse at the lawyer’s office and True Blood writers suddenly seem to remember that vampires during the day suffer from the bleeds. Oh well done them *rolls eyes* …. won’t even get started on that lack of continuity.  Any way  Bill finally gets to be seen and discovers that there are more problems for him than just his Hep V.  Under the law the will he has was made when he was “impersonating a human” and thus isn’t recognized as it was before vampires came out of the coffin.  As of right now, because of a law passed before the evil Governor Burrell lost his head, vampire progeny are NOT recognized as heirs and so his estate would pass to the government should anything happen to him.  Bill’s only recourse? Adopt Jessica legally and go that route …. which could take up to a year …. unless he wants to pay the lawyer $10 Million to expedite the process.   Bill tries to glamour her into skipping that but she only laughs, (as did I actually because really Bill? She is a lawyer that works with vampires all day … did you not think she would have those fancy contacts? … we will put that slip on your behalf down to the Hep V because your next actions amused me lol) ………. Bill’s next action was to stab her in the throat with a letter opener!! HA!!! Die greedy bitch Die!!!!  Even better he grabs a pencil as he leaves and takes out the vampire guard with it on his way out.  Well played Bill Compton … well played indeed!   He heads home to a waiting Jessica and Sookie who have been crying and it is obvious that they know.

Talking of  Bon Temps remember Jason’s warning to Adelyn and Wade? Well they chose to ignore it and are going for it right under Andy’s roof! Well that wasn’t smart and of course Andy catches them and sends a poor naked Wade running out into the yard with Andy chasing after him, Holly not far behind and Arlene screaming they are gonna wake the baby.   Andy wants to kill Wade, Holly looks like she wants to kill Andy and generally this is not good.  They all go their separate ways but we get to see Arlene and Holly head to Bellfleurs (yes remember that never actually got cleaned up? Well amazingly so did the writers) and they set to getting that place back ready to open and Arlene actually has some good advice.  When Andy comes by to apologize it is clear things aren’t going well but Arlene sends them off to TALK to the kids together.  Just one little problem with that …. when they get to the house the kids have gone!  Seriously? What did they expect? Andy …. well I can see why he didn’t get it but Holly really should have known better! I saw that coming a mile away.  Luckily for them they told Wade’s brother where they were going (Fort Bellefleur) but will they get there in time???   

Also in Bon Temps Nicole is being a pain in the ass and she wants to go “home” for good and she wants Sam to go with her. She basically calls the town crazy, Sam the mayor of crazy town and that he wants to be there crazier still.  Yes there was a whole lot of crazy being thrown around.  If it wasn’t for the fact that she was carrying Sam’s baby I would say good riddance! UGH she gets on my nerves!!! More wait and see stuff here too.

Now remember poor Pam and Eric trapped in a room? Well it turns out that some cowboy wanna be is now in charge of the Yokomoto corporation and he is broke!  Tru Blood is worthless and he wants to get his hands on Sarah Newlin and he thinks the dynamic duo can help.  Eric isn’t having any of it but with only minutes before sunrise Pam is thinking otherwise.  After a few minutes of Eric and Pam starting to burn (the main sticking point being that Eric wants to be the one to actually kill Sarah and Yoko guy not so keen) they come to a deal and our pair is safe ….. for now … and at sundown will be taking them all to Sarah’s sister’s house.  The only place Sarah could possibly go.

They were right, of course, and we get to see Sarah sneaking into her sister’s house during daylight only to be attacked by her sister.  Sadly her sister is too ill to really hurt her and ends up collapsing and coughing up blood before inflicting damage…. but the game is just beginning.   When Amber wakes back up Sarah lets her know that there was a cure.  A cure that Sarah drank all of making her now the only cure out there and she tells Amber to drink from her (Which honestly by the time Sarah had been halfway through the sentence if I was the sister I would have been biting already!).

We don’t get to see what happens but when Eric, Pam and the Yokomoto crew turn up at Amber’s house they see immediately that she is cured! Oh next week should be good! 

To finish up Jason goes home to tell Violet that things are over.  He gets himself all psyched up only to go in and discover that she isn’t there, the place is trashed and she has left a note saying that things aren’t working and goodbye.  Ummmmm what???  Oh don’t worry Violet hasn’t gone completely soft.  We see that she has tracked down Adelyn and Wade at Fort Bellefleur and convinces them to leave their phones and come with her because she knows a place where they can be alone and safe by telling them that with her fairy blood if she could find them the bad vamps could too.  Oh this isn’t going to be good.  Revenge is best in the sneaky way and taking the one thing that will hurt Jessica seems like a pretty good plan to me! 

And now we wait until next week which is looking like a more action packed ride. Adelyn and Wade are at the mercy of a crazy Violet, Eric and crew know that Sarah is their chance at a cure, and although we will have to deal with the inevitable Sookie and Bill drama I am OK with that. The game is well and truly on now.  Odds are changing with a cure now in play (honestly did anyone doubt that would happen?) and so who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (Although notable mention of Bill killing the lawyer and the vamp “guard” …. THAT was awesome! )

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

Eric and Pam sunrise

My Favorite Lines From “Karma”

  • Eric – “Our first sunrise together”
  • Pam – “I imagined my death many times but I never thought I would meet the sun in some place with wall to wall carpet”
  • Eric “When I find her I am going to wrap my hands around her neck and snap her little blonde bobble head”
  • Nicole – “This town is fucking crazy and you are the mayor of crazy!” 
  • Jason – “Bill was a bone fide vampire God not six months ago. ”
  • Arlene  – “Shit happens Holly – ya clean it up.”
  • Sookie – “Life’s too short to be with someone you don’t love.”
  • Amber – “You can’t just dye your hair, and blow a guru, and absolve yourself of all the horrific shit you have done in your life.”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 8 – “Dead Meat” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

I am going to start by saying I think this was, perhaps, my least favorite episode so far this season.  For me there was way to much Shifter stuff, Pack problems, Terry trauma, and Fairy fuss!! Overall I found it to be rather dull, especially considering the teaser that we got to see last week, but hope that there is at least some kind of reason for this stuff and possibly an excuse …… I mean explanation from some pretty GLARING continuity errors!!!

We start this week very briefly seeing Eric dealing with Nora’s death and by dealing I mean basically saying screw you Billith I am not helping you or your stupid cause. You failed to save Nora so now I will do my own thing even if you float me around the ceiling like a kite and act like you are a big bad vampire at the end of the day you are just Bill and you are weak!  And Bill proves him right and ends up letting him go.  One of the better moments of this week’s episode but sadly over before the opening credits roll with Bill “slamming” (worst door slam ever)  the door behind Eric as he takes off into the night.   Now at this point hopes are high that Eric is going to be bad and vengeance driven this episode but sadly we see very little of him other than now and his reappearance at the end.  Hey at least I am warning you now … I sat through the whole episode to learn this!

Credits done and we go to Alcide and his little pack dilemma.  Yes I know I don’t really care either but hey it was in there.  So Rikki has Nicole and Mom all tied up and presents them to Alcide as very much not dead and then when Alcide reminds her that he is in fact packmaster Rikki challenges him to a fight … to the death. She even manages to get a couple of seconds … the little bitch that they had the three way with and … ummmmmm well a very strange looking blonde reminding me yet again why wolves are just not my thing.   Stupid fight where Alcide kicks both their asses (yep the girls cheat) and whilst I would normally be completely against any man hitting a woman … Rikki really did ask for it … and she is a wolf … and oh yes I don’t care but PLEASE get this story over with.  So they fight and Rikki loses but we don’t actually know whether Alcide kills her or not.  Well OK we do because it’s Alcide .. and even asshole Alcide that has been around this season won’t be doing that.

Over at Vamp Camp Willa wants to try and save Jason from being Violet’s chew toy but Tara talks her out of it. At least Tara seems to have a handle on the whole vamp hierarchy now …. or maybe it is just the jail hierarchy that she has the hang of.  Either way it was a smart decision on her part.  Violet has decided that Jason is “hers” and apparently this to her means forever. A concept Jason is not too thrilled about but hey at least she isn’t going to be passing him around for favors so bonus for him.  Honestly I am bored with her already. Even her whole I am a real medieval catholic with real values speech was just annoying.  The only amusing part was when Pam asked to talk to her while she was feeding (in what appeared to be a morgue drawer???… no idea why THAT was in the general population room) but that amusement was down to Pam’s attitude and not hers.  Overall I hope she dies because otherwise I see another long drawn out Crystal time situation occurring and we certainly don’t need that cropping up again!

Back in Bon Temps Sookie is at the graveyard and yet again seems to have a complete handle on what she can do with her powers right down to telepathically talking to Warlow (I am dropping the Ben bit)  before she returns to Fairy land (which this week seems to have sparkly things everywhere almost like icicles you hang on a Christmas tree everywhere) and ties him back to the gravestone with some vines.  You know if he has enough control to make the decision to do that …. and then she is going to feed him when she gets there anyway …. why bother with the tieing him up in the first place.  Oh wait I got it …. you didn’t tie him up before you left last time because it wasn’t needed for the story … but this week it is so just tie him up and leave him that way ….. indefinitely.  Yep GREAT plan *rolls eyes*.    Anyway I am jumping ahead a bit … so they are there and Warlow makes a nice point that Bill is a liar and so just because he says he won’t kill Warlow after he saves the vamps doesn’t mean it is true and he is going to want a little more assurance, so if he helps the vamps Sookie has to become his fairy vampire princess bride.  Sounds fair enough to me! But Sookie needs time to think about it and zaps herself back to Bon Temps where Eric is waiting, hiding behind a tree, and sees her just appear.  Once she leaves Eric goes to the spot she just came from and waves his arm around obviously trying to sense what is there.  Whether Eric can tell or not is unsure but Warlow certainly can as the whole realm he is in suddenly goes dark.  Interesting ……. OK not really … it is exactly what happened when Bill was near in season 4 with the whole fairy thing.  At least time doesn’t seem to be distorted now … or maybe the writers just forgot that part……Oooooh maybe Warlow can control it … what??? They are making up new rules every single week with no regard to what has happened before!!! Almost as bad as the last Sookie book!!! (Hey they make a reference to it in a bit so why can’t I).

Back to Vamp Camp and Jessica and James are basking in the afterglow of their little fling last week. They really are kinda cute together. James is by far the most interesting new vampire for me this season although even he annoys me this week. I guess when Jason got escorted off they were just left in the room and no one thought to check.  Well OK then. But it doesn’t last long as just as they are about to have a little more fun the guards burst in….. of course no one questions how they happened to be there just split them up and take them back.  In the hallway they meet Pam who is leaving the psychiatrists office having exchanged sex (which she describes as Oozy but productive) for her release back into general population.

She arrives just in time for the big announcement.  Tru Blood is now available for all and they will all be getting their own bottle.  Obviously those in the know are not too thrilled about this and don’t drink but sadly those in the know include James ….. who can’t keep it to himself and takes pity on the poor Steve Newlin (who almost gets bullied out of his bottle anyway until the guards intervene) and tells him not to drink it either.  UGH James you stupid stupid boy!! What are you thinking? We all know this is going to end badly … and it does!!! When Sarah finds out that certain vamps aren’t drinking the their spiked drinks she immediately asks if Steve is one of them and then tortures him by having him run on a giant hamster wheel under the threat of UV light.  Steve, being the spineless cry baby that he is soon gives up all he knows and that he got the info from James without ever being touched by evil UV rays. So pathetic. He is SUCH a 4!!!!  With the new info Sarah comes up with a new plan.  All those that refuse to drink will be escorted to the white room, which we soon see is the room from Bill’s visions, the room where they all meet the sun.  This is not good.  We get to see Steve and James put in there and Steve sobbing and crying to Sarah …. yep because that is going to help Steve!  We don’t, however get to see what happens to them until later.

In the meantime Sam has returned to Merlottes and is greeted by Alcide who lets him know that he has returned Nicole and her Mom who were kidnapped by the crazy Rikki.  Looks like Alcide is back to the old Alcide and no more pack for him.  Yep knew he wouldn’t kill Rikki.  Shame .. she totally deserved it.  So Alcide heads off to drink in the bar while Nicole and her Mom have a drink with Sam in his trailer.  Yes all very dull ….. Nicole’s mom doesn’t feel safe (sensible woman) but she still goes off to bed.  Nicole and Sam have a moment outside and he starts smelling her hair ….. OK you know that means something shifter based and sure enough when he is in the bar talking to Alcide (yep they are all friendly again) Alcide mentions it and it becomes quite obvious that Nicole is pregnant.  YAWN!!!!! What happened to Luna being the love of his life?  It has been just a few days and yet he is all ready to move on with everything.  Damn shifters!

Moving on to more stuff that I am totally done with … the whole Terry mess.  Arlene is nicely hung over but Lafayette has a nice plate of greasy breakfast for her (and it looks GOOD … I love fried bread …. not something I have seen much of since moving from England ….. my husband was trying to insist that Lafayette had in fact made Grilled Cheese but I know I was right .. and it was breakfast …. yes I know totally off topic but still more interesting to me than this storyline) …… So yes Lafayette made breakfast and then broke the news about the life insurance.  Adelyn was listening in to Arlene’s head and hears that all is not good in there with lots of guilt to go around including some thrown the young fairy’s way as she needs to stop being in people’s head.  This gives the cue for both of them to storm off unhappy (very important for later that Adelyn be alone).

I am going to wrap all the Terry from this week up here because … well honestly not a lot of it makes sense … I mean last week I was moaning that Arlene seemed to have buried him already … this week we go to the funeral home to plan things.  And it is all a little ridiculous.  Old Mrs Bellefleur is there (now I am assuming it is meant to be Caroline????… yep checked the credits .. it is but they got a new actress… and she is NOT as good) and she wants a full 21 gun salute because that is how they do things which I agree with Arlene is in rather bad taste in this case.  Arlene goes outside but eventually calms down and the funeral is set and even though she worked out who shot him Andy convinces her that if she presses him to investigate the life insurance won’t pay out so better to just pretend nobody knows anything.  So bored with this whole thing.  Seriously .. OVER IT!

Sookie visits Bill, in the daylight, and they have a little chat in which Bill basically tells her to hurry up and just do it already and he doesn’t care about her little issues and that the deal sounds quite fair which comes as a bit of a shock to little Miss Sookie who was obviously expecting a little more sympathy. But we all know she is going to do it .. but first a little stop via Merlottes where she successfully manages to interrupt Sam trying to get Nicole to stay (it wasn’t hard he asked she said yes but Mom was not amused) and whisk Sam off to his office where she shows him her little light ball and then drops the bom that she always thought they would end up together.  Way to mess with the guy Sookie!! (And yes totally ripped from the last book!!!). Sam, to his credit, is not in the mood for this Sookie drama and so poor Sookie runs off and we get  an agonizing hour (well actually it is more like 5 minutes but seriously when watching it it FELT like an hour) of Sookie talking to her parents’ gravestones and then painstakingly getting ready, leaving a voicemail for Jason (Niall is missing, Terry is dead, the funeral is in the morning I will save you a seat, sorry to leave this in a voicemail), until she eventually arranges to meet Bill that evening.

In other day time romps, Holly has called her sons and had them go and take Adelyn out for the day (complete with a big bottle of booze … I am betting Holly didn’t count on that one) and off they go to get drunk.  Skip ahead to the night and one brother is pretty much passed out while the other decides to get hot and heavy with the young fairy.  All is going well (especially for the brother that manages to get Adelyn’s top off) until Eric appears.  Pulling her top on as she goes Adelyn takes off running while Eric glamours the 2 brothers in to forgetting that he was ever there and (with a smirk) forgetting that Adelyn was ever there too even though it means for the one brother he has to forget he managed to get a girls top off … he even apologizes for taking that memory away.  With the boys safely glamoured Eric is free to take off after the fairy girl and with his speed he catches her (and drinks from her quite deeply) but as we see her running down the road only to be picked up by Andy we know that he doesn’t kill her.

Back to vamp camp and the best Sarah Newlin scene ever!!!  Sarah is slowly unravelling as everyone is asking for the Governor but it is when the Tru Blood exec turns up and forces her way despite Sarah’s best “we are both strong women plea” in to the camp that everything really gets good … I mean goes wrong. With Sarah chasing the exec wildly through the corridors the exec soon realises there is something very wrong going on in that place with screams that she needs to inform the FDA….. oh honey that is the least of your problems right now!!! Sarah chasing her down in ridiculously high heels is awesome and the fighting is pretty good too. So glad they decided not to go for the typical girl fight, hair pulling etc, but Sarah finally gets the exec to the ground and starts slamming her head into a metal grate … right about the male general population room who rush to lick the blood that is pouring from the execs head to their floor below.  To finish things off, Sarah grabs the exec’s ridiculous high heel leopard print shoes and slams it into her head screaming DIE DIE DIE … and when she does … Sarah sinks back and thanks Jesus.  In a not so good episode this was definitely a highlight and very unexpected.  Not good for Sarah and her crazy vamp camp but great viewing pleasure.

While all that is going on my the male general population area back in the female area Violet is called out for not drinking her Tru Blood.  Her excuse that Jason is keeping her fed doesn’t wash with the guards but as Violet is yet to know about the Tru Blood problem she is quite happy to go get hers …. until Tara opens her big mouth and says that by Violet drinking that their Jason problem will sort itself out.  Of course Violet hears and so wants to know why they aren’t drinking it and so the result is Violet, Jessica, Tara, Willa and Pam all end up in the white room where we see that Steve and James are in fact still alive … but Jessica recognizes the room and realizes that is where they are all going to meet the sun as seen in Bill’s vision.  Even Pam looks worried!

So quick Time Out here before I get to the finale part (where I will have even more questions) …… I want to talk about Hep V for a minute ….. now I know Nora got a nice big syringe worth straight into the veins but she then lasted less than 48 hours but she was 600 years old AND was boosted with Bill’s blood.  So why are NONE of the vamps, even the weakest level 4’s showing ANY symptoms yet?  Doesn’t make sense to me.  Surely they would at least look a little sluggish?  Hmmmmm doesn’t quite add up for me.  Probably just an oversight although even in upcoming previews we are not seeing any signs of the virus spreading through the system.  *sigh*.  Does anyone else ponder these things??

OK back to the show and Sookie is once again in full command of her Fairy powers and tells Bill to hold her hands so she can transport them both to Fairy Land where Warlow is waiting. Hmmmmm OK.  Sadly for them when they get there they see Warlow is still tied to the gravestone but definitely not looking too well…. he has been completely drained … but we know he isn’t dead as he is a vampire and not a pile of goo.   Sookie has no idea what happened but Bill just says one word …. ERIC!!!! and roll credits … and show an awesome preview for next week ……

Now here is my problem …… The whole drinking fairy rules seem to have changed.  In Season 4 when Eric drank a fairy he got nicely, and very amusingly drunk …… Jessica drank 4 fairies … and kinda sorta got high (she was a miserable drunk / high though) and nowhere near the level that Eric did … now is this because she drank baby fairies?  We know that Sookie’s blood tastes great and allows temporary day walks but no drunk feeling …. because well we assume she is part fairy?? So what is the deal here?  How did Eric get into Fairy land?? Just because he drank some fairy blood??? If that is the case Bill drunk Warlow’s blood which is obviously far stronger, AND we already know gave him a connection to him and yet Bill couldn’t find his way there but Eric could?  Dear writers can you just make up a set of rules and stick to them?  That would be much appreciated and would save me having to mull over these things for a ridiculously looooooong time and not come up with any answers BECAUSE YOU KEEP CHANGING THINGS!!!!

That being said I want it to be Sunday now …. because WAITING SUCKS!!!!!

V””V

EricS6

My Favorite Lines From “Dead Meat”

  • Pam –  “yes from everything I know about her she seems like the sharing type!”
  • Andy  – “You aren’t even 2 weeks old so no I will not get you some coffee”
  • Bill – “It seems really quite fair …. he would be doing us a rather large favor”
  • Nicole’s Mom – “May I ask how old YOU are Silver Fox”
    Andy – ” I am trying to decide if it’s going to be more uncomfortable for me in here or out there”
  • Sarah – “DIE DIE DIE …… thank you Jesus”
  • Sookie – “Destiny is too much of a bitch to keep fighting”