True Blood Season 6 Ep 9 – “Life Matters” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So here we are! It feels like this season barely started and already this is the penultimate episode. Really this week was split into 2 sections (although it jumped back and forth A LOT between the 2 in the episode) so for my convenience I am going to split the review up that way too.  And yes I saved the better bit for the second half so if (like me) you are totally over the whole Terry and his funeral drama feel free to skip ahead.

For those that want to know everything … here we go.  Tonight we say goodbye to Terry with a funeral that takes up about 1/2 the show.  Now don’t get me wrong, I loved Terry! Well earlier versions of Terry.  This season’s Terry was a lot on the annoying side for me.  I miss the Terry that kept Felix the Armadillo under his bed! I think having him shot the way he was to kill off a major character was a little bit of a cop-out and they have certainly milked it for all it was worth.  That being said there were some great moments during the funeral, especially the flashbacks that were really well filmed and had the raw quality to them that was so evident in earlier seasons (a quality that honestly I miss). 

Sookie leaves her Fairy haven to be there (just popping in like she does with no one noticing) …. and Alcide is there to hit on her. Hmmmmm still not quite sure why he felt the need to attend, guess with the whole pack debacle dealt with, for now at least, they had to find some way to put him in there and show that he is back to being a good guy.  Well Praise Cain for that because (and these are words I never thought I would be writing) he was even MORE annoying this season being Alcide the Asshole!!  He does provide some eye candy for Mrs Fortenbury and Jane Bodehouse though which amused me and we got an update on Hoyt (who has a girlfriend who apparently is ugly as sin but still better than being a red-headed bloodsucker).  Made me think of the Sam Scrunchie comment from Season 2. Definite amusement factor.  Adding to the amusement was a pretty constant string of insults coming from the (new) Caroline Bellefleur.  Delightfully inappropriate throughout.

The Reverend Daniels in there (complete with Lettie Mae who hasn’t changed one bit) and he gives the service in his quiet preachy way. He opens the door for various people to come up and talk and with each one we get a flashback of a poignant moment in their history with Terry.  Andy goes first with his (slightly predictable) looks at when Terry was holed up in fort Bellefleur after the war. Nothing really new here.  Sam is next and the flashbacks with him were well done.  It really has a “season 1” feel to it which I appreciated. 

Lafayette is up next and he is wonderful as usual.  I especially loved his outfit, the suit, the fedora, and the looooong false lashes. His speech was perhaps one of my favorite parts of the funeral complete with another Season 1 esque flashback and Terry being shown how Lafayette shakes it when he cooks.  Brilliant!  Moments like this show how well the writers know the characters … which actually makes it MORE annoying when they get it wrong!!!  If they have writers that can show us this … they should be able to not make so many other screw ups!!!  They do make up for it though with a boring interlude from Portia *yawn*.  We could have done without that!  PLUS no interesting flashback so double blah on that!

It should be Arlene’s turn but Sookie “hears” that she isn’t ready to say goodbye yet and so we get Sookie up there instead.  She takes that moment to tell them all she is a telepath (which I am pretty sure most of them knew as NO real reaction to that announcement at all but hey Sookie way to try to make it all about you) … and we get a real touching flashback to Terry first seeing Arlene on his first day at work.  They did an amazing job of recreating an almost exact scene from the very first episode which I am sure that many fans like me would appreciate and it was lovely closure for Arlene.  Very well handled but still taking away from what I really wanted to see .. the vamps!!!

Finally it is Arlene’s turn and she gives a moving speech and we get another flashback to when Mickey was born (side track for a moment and this baby looks  YOUNGER in this funeral episode that he was 2 SEASONS AGO!!!( ….. and we see Terry being wonderful and for a moment I am sad that he ended like this.  Then I remember that he was annoying this season and this story has been dragging on sooooooo enough already!!   Finally Reverend Daniels says everyone has spoken but Big John steps up and he is going to sing.  ( you would recognize him if you saw him … he worked in the kitchen with Terry). So he sings and everyone is moved .. and it is kinda touching (when you watch it this bit is actually overlaid with the whole Jason and Sarah bit … but hey I decided to write it this way .. so you are going to have to deal with it lol).  So song over we get the marine gun salute, the guns are fired, the flag is folded, the funeral is over.  Goodbye Terry.  Your crazy antics from earlier seasons will be missed.

And  now onto the vamps!!  At the end of last week Bill and Sookie had hopped to Fairy Land where they found Warlow drained (by Eric) but obviously still alive (he wasn’t a pile of goo) and this week we see that Bill is not big on the sympathy vote and still wants Warlow (who can’t even sit up) to keep up the bargain Sookie made and come help save the vampires stuck at vamp camp about to meet the sun.  Sookie points out that Bill is supposed to be the king of all the vampires and he needs to go sort out his own vampire mess and then decides she needs to gnaw on her own arm so that Warlow can feed (you would have though by now she would carry a knife for just sort a situation), which of course makes Bill’s fans pop out, which irritates Sookie even more.  Well Sookie he is a vampire – what do you expect.  Bill, couldn’t care less and as soon as Warlow has had a couple of mouthfuls of blood gets whisked up by Bill wanting to leave with him but he can’t. Ooops Bill you forgot that you need a fairy to get in and out of there … unless you are Eric apparently … no we aren’t getting a proper answer to that question from last week, but all is well as Sookie zaps him with her magic Fairy light and he bounces on his ass right back to the graveyard but not before she reminds him that Eric has more or Warlow’s blood pulsing through him than Warlow right now so he can go find him!

Talking of Eric, he is very much enjoying being able to walk in the sun and takes the opportunity to completely tear up all the guards outside of vamp camp (but Bill is not far behind him ).  Sadly we only get to see before and after shots *sigh* ……. no actual Eric doing the damage, but we can imagine (and I did :D).  With limbs in hand (well he wasn’t sure which arm had the chip in) he goes into the camp and starts making his way through with his first stop being at Doctor Oberlark’s office.  Remember him? He was the creator of Hep V and the stupid human that enjoyed injecting the lethal dose into Nora as he forced Eric to watch. Think he might be regretting that decision right about now and Eric approaches him and rips his balls off!! Quite literally!  Now the web has been filled with titillating spoilers about how this week we would get to see “Eric” and a “Naked Penis” in the same shot … and we do … sadly it is not Eric’s but the Doctor’s that has been tossed to one side as the Doctor lies there bleeding out. (Note to special effects team … whilst I appreciate a good blood shot ….. there is no way he could stay conscious with that much blood pooled around him … I am not even sure a body HOLDS as much blood as seen there … but I appreciate the effort).  Eric leaves him bleeding to death after pointing out he will be back in 10 minutes to make sure he has bled off.  Luckily (or unluckily) for Doctor Oberlark he doesn’t have to wait that long as Bill comes in and stomps on his head like the giant cockroach that he is!

Eric continues his jaunt around the prison, and it really is a jaunt, dancing into the room he just unlocked to free the male vamps in one of the general population quarters, humming to himself as he digs the computer chip out of the dead guard’s arm.  I ADORE this Eric.  The vampire out for vengeance with no regard for human life, the humans that have wronged him, the humans that thought he could be tamed. Covered in blood and oozing with danger! Brilliant!! If the whole show could have been like this I would have been thrilled.  He even takes a moment to console one lonely vampire who does not flee with the others because his maker is in one of the morgue type coolers.  The maker is infected with Hep V and we can see he doesn’t have long to live as the black evilness is coursing through his veins but Eric knows that feeling and quietly points out that the opportunity for vengeance is available.  *sigh* …. Love it!

As Bill is slightly behind Eric he goes off on a different pathway around the prison in his hunt for our favorite viking  vampire, seeing as he does that the vampires have opted for a literal eye for an eye revenge routine rather than a simple kill all the humans  variation.  We see variations of pretty much all the tortures we have seen inflicted on the vampires the past few weeks now being done to the humans, from the pulling of teeth, to the running in the giant hamster wheel (almost naked of course) to a therapy session with our not so favorite shrink.  As Bill searches he prooves once again that even as the all powerful Billith he is rather stupid and useless.  He asks a roaming vampire about Eric and is told that Eric set them free but the vampire refuses to elaborate saying so many hallways ….. and Bill just leaves it.  UGH Bill .. you have enough power to make Eric float around the ceiling like a giant helium balloon but you can’t make a simple number 3 vamp give you information?  USELESS!!

With Bill wandering in the opposite direction, Eric has made his way to Female Gen Pop 001 where, after freeing the room, he finds Jason pretty drained and laying, shirtless on a bench.  Amazing scene between these 2 characters which ends with Jason being healed by Eric (mainly because Jason can show him around) and Eric promising him some awesome dreams !! Oh I hope we get to see the dreams next season (although I am sure my husband is hoping EQUALLY as hard that we DON’T lol). With the newly healed Jason as his guide they head off down the corridors (with Jason high fiving all the dead guards on the way) and we see Sarah Newlin emerge from beneath a pile of bodies after they pass.  Now SURELY Eric would have heard the heartbeat and known someone was not only alive but (apparently) not injured in the least?? Was he so focussed he didn’t care? Or is this just another oversight to enable the plot twist that they wanted *sigh*.  Either way Sarah is alive and you know that won’t be good.

Heading a long Eric must have gone in a complete circle and now be behind Bill because he comes across the room where Pam’s favorite psychiatrist is having his own tortuous therapy session.  Eric dismisses the vampire torturers and has his own little chat.  The Doctor is scared and so he should be.  Eric is cold and calculating and awesome as he tells the Doctor he forgot to ask how he was going to die.  Things are about to get worse for him though because sensing the end is close he decides that taunting Eric is the best way to go.  Even Jason knows that this is not a smart move but Eric hears the truth in the words so whips out the guys “anti glamour” contact lenses and makes him tell all.  Then instead of killing him decides that it would be better for Pam to have the honor. See I LOVE that!!! Brilliant bit of writing there from the team!!!  As they continue down the halls (now with psychiatrist in hand) there is a piercing scream that all fans would recognise.  Sure enough Eric grins and says the same thing … and heads to find Ginger!!!

Bill, in the meantime, remembers what Sookie said about all of Warlow’s blood coursing through Eric’s veins and realizes that HE has Warlow’s blood too so grabs a guard and rushes off to find the White Room with a guard that he picks up on the way. 

With Bill rushing to the rescue inside, we get to see that Sarah escaping was a bad thing as she heads up the side of the building to the roof and we all just know it is the roof of the room that the vampires are in.  Sure enough we see her opening the roof to let the sun in to the vampires below …. but Bill has gotten there first and they are all feasting on him as the sunlight hits … well all except Steve who apparently only got a mouthful.  Hmmmmmmm dramatic as this is … why not just open the door Bill so they could all LEAVE??? *rolls eyes* .. STUPID!!! (The music is rather awesome though)

Eric finally catches up complete with Jason,  psychiatrist and Ginger … but they are in the observation room and Eric rushes around to catch Steve who is starting to panic.  Bill says to let Steve feed but Eric is having none of it and holds him into the sun to burn … just as Sarah leans over to look down at what she expects to be a room full of burning vampires.  Instead she just gets to see the one burn, her ex husband… who looks right at her and says ….. I love you .. JASON STACKHOUSE!!! Damn if that isn’t a smack in the face!! Eric and Pam share a beautiful moment as they look at each other and Eric tells Pam he saved the psychiatrist for her. Awwwwww great to see these 2 back on the right track!

The vampires are all high and dancing in the sunshine filled room (hmmmm yes could have done without that) … when Jason realises that Sarah is still alive and rushes off to take care of it.He catches her in the parking lot and has a gun to her throat but can’t bring himself to pull the trigger and ends up letting her go.  Oh Jason you know that is going to come back to haunt you!!

Bill is left on the floor … pretty much drained to the point of death (sadly not actually there) while the vampires all go to play outside and smash-up all the bottles of Tru Blood and apparently at the same time in Honolulu a vampire appears at what seems to be a Tru Blood delivery and we see the driver killed too. Hmmmmm wonder why Honolulu… guess we will find out next week.  Anyway Lilith’s little bitches appear and tell Bill it is time for him to go with them.  GO BILL GO!!! PLEASE GO!!!!

Eric is outside with the other high happy vampires but he is not looking so happy.  We see him go to where Nora was infected with the Hep V while he was caged and we see him go from mad to what looks like resigned.  Ohhhh go back to being mad Eric …. you still have a lot of humans you can kill!!! (and a whole pack of wolves over in Shreveport if you are really looking for something to do …. what …. just a suggestion … damn writers don’t listen to me anyway!!)

Jessica is also losing her happy thoughts as she realises Bill isn’t with them and she rushes back in (complete with James in tow) and finds Bill almost dead apparently talking to himself (Jessica can’t see the Lilith bitches).  James realises that Bill needs blood to survive and feeds him, which apparently is enough for the Lilith clones to leave and Bill to come back to the land of the living (unliving???)  *sigh* … either way Bill doesn’t die.  Damn it Bill could you not have just gone with them!!!

Bill walks out to a round of applause from the vampires he saved but you know from the music something is wrong….. although it is not for Bill that the music is playing … it is for Eric.   Pam turns and looks across the parking lot as everyone is leaving and it is just her and Eric … and she just says one line …. “Don’t You Dare Leave Me” …. and Eric is gone ….. straight up towards the sun leaving us to believe that he has decided to end it… and that is where they end the episode.

I can’t believe we only have one more episode left this season although I am curious what they are going to do with the finale.  This episode had a finale feel to it (had it been any other show) but I can only assume with season 7 confirmed they are going to spend next week setting things up for a tortuous cliffhanger to make us wait for a year.

I did appreciate the nod to Anne Rice’s Lestat, be it intentional or not for those avid vampire readers like me.  It gives me hope that Eric will survive this as Lestat did before him.  I think if they really wanted to kill him off they would have had this as the finale ending.  Certainly would have had us buzzing with the will he / won’t he make it questions for the next 10 months!!

Waiting SUCKS!!!

 

V””V

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My Favorite Lines From “Life Matters”

  • Sookie – “Eric took our deal and fucked it in the ass!!”
  • Eric – “I’ll be back in 10 minutes to make sure you bled out”.
  • Eric – “Go on, Go kill your captors”
  • Eric – “You’re free …. go forth and kill the humans”
  • Terry – “I don’t like work …… or people”
  • Steve – “I love you Jason Stackhouse!!!”
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True Blood Season 6 Ep 6 – “Don’t You Feel Me” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Let me start by saying after last week’s epic episode I was hoping for a little more. This week for me had too much “other” stuff and not enough vampire content for me … but here we go ….

This week starts with the possessed Lafayette still trying to drown Sookie and he almost succeeds but Bill can feel she is in trouble and despite his whole “you are dead to me” speech he sends Warlow/Ben  out into the day to rescue her.  No real surprise there although Lafayette does survive (after last week I thought the “death that will rock Bon Temps” may have been him with all this going on) but Sookie recovers enough to tell Warlow/Ben not to kill him but to blast him with Fairy Light to dislodge the spirit.  Amazingly this works (I guess this season Fairy light is the equivalent of Duct Tape) and Sookie tells the spirit of her dad to go and never return. He fades off into the trees presumable never to be seen again, well either that or until they come up with some reason he needs to come back.  There was no hoodoo magic to make him stay gone so who knows (and to be honest who cares …. it was an interesting twist but this week I am over it).

Now to the part I have been waiting for ALL Week!! Pam and Eric trapped in the little display room, armed with stakes, supposed to fight each other.  Now as they circle each other like caged beasts (much to the amusement of the stupid Governor) a few little snide comments are made back and forth before they float up Matrix Style, poised and ready to fight.  UGH I am on the edge of my seat at this point just needing to know what is going to happen …. you can cut the tension with a knife!!!! Then with the slightest nod of his head Eric and Pam fly towards each other, and past each other up to the windows where the armed guards are and stake them!! Oh it was brilliant!!! then they drag the bodies down to the room and one of the guards is staked literally right through the window leaving this little stake sizes hole, surrounded in blood, for Eric to look through with one eye and say … “I see you Steve Newlin!!”.  Oh this was the best scene of this episode. Sadly more guards come in to escort the dynamic duo off but oh it was amazing!  Shame it was so near the beginning …. yes readers it is sadly all down hill from here … but there is information that we will need for next week so stay with me and I will keep you as entertained as I can.

Lafayette, Sookie and Warlow/Ben are having a little heart to heart about how messed up it is that this vampire can be out in the sun when Billith decides to “Call”  Warlow/Ben back to the house. Well we all know how well that went for Jessica and soon enough Warlow/Ben is coughing up blood and generally looking unwell but it is Sookie to the rescue.  Instead of submitting to Billith’s demands she grabs Warlow/Ben’s hands and transports him off to Fairy World. Ummmm SAY WHAT????  Yes apparently she can zap herself there whenever it suits her. Hmmm not sure that was in fact the case.  Wonder how long she will be there this year? After all last time a few minutes there turned out to be a year.

When Bill realizes that he can no longer feel Warlow/Ben he goes off to talk to Jessica who of course is not in her room because she is at “Vamp Camp” but Billith hasn’t realized that yet so rushes up to her room to find out how close he came to killing her when he called her to him at the beginning.  When he realizes she is gone he fears the worst and that what he saw in his vision was starting. Of course Bill wants to talk to Lilith but she is not being very forthcoming so he decides he needs to be in a coma.  So he has the still kidnapped scientist drain him to the point of death (by glamouring him with instructions to remove all his blood to the point of the True Death then return it to him 24 hours later) and off Bill goes to dream land to see Lilith (escorted by the 3 pointless naked, blood covered, Lilith wannabees).   Face to face with Lilith Bill in unamused by all the non answers Lilith gives and tries to blame Lilith for everything but as she points out …. he was the one that wanted this and now he can deal with it and she disappears telling him basically the time to act is now but he is on his own to do it! And act he does …. but more on that later!

Jason, meanwhile, is over at the LAVT (Louisiana Vampire Task Force) sign up center so that he can rescue Jessica from said “Vamp Camp”.  His interview is GREAT!! Jason is definitely back to being more like the Jason from earlier seasons that we adored and comes up with my favorite new word for decapitation – beheadenism!!  It is a great way to kill vamps.   Obviously with the tales he can tell and the experience he has the LAVT can’t wait to sign him up and fast track him through to main camp.  Well done Jason your plan seems to be working …. until once there he get’s introduced to Sarah Newlin.  Uh oh …. slight hiccup there but Jason plays it cool and pretends they have never met.  Sarah orders everyone to clear the room so she can spend a couple of minutes alone with the new recruit but where she plans to make him leave Jason points out that if she says one word he will tell EVERYTHING he knows about her and what a “Whore for Christ” she is.  Well that doesn’t go down too well but she keeps her mouth shut.  Oh yes Sarah Newlin is way too smart for that.  Instead she waits for her opportunity and has Jason come to one of the observation rooms to watch a “copulation study”.  Once Jason understands what copulation is he thinks that doesn’t sound too bad apart from the fact there is only one guy vamp standing in the room……until Sarah has them bring out Jessica.  Oh Sarah you really are a bitch.  James (who would have made a lovely Ben/Warlow … hope we see him again ……) won’t do it though as he says he isn’t into rape and Jessica is not willing.  Despite getting hit several times with a nasty UV blaster ray he holds his ground and it is Jessica who eventually tries to tell him it will be OK and they should just get it over with.  But James won’t do it but even after they blast him again and again they realize he won’t do it so have Jessica taken away.

So to the shifters and the wolves … yawn yawn yawn.  I really don’t know what is worse at this point .. the whining Sam storyline with that stupid Nicole tagging along or the Alcide the Asshole pack-master story with him needing someone to smack some reality sense back into him.  Well luckily for me they are all tied up this week and can be summed up easily.  Alcide’s dad did decide to tell him where Sam and Co. were (in between playing with the shifter hooker he picked up from the bar who spends all her time walking around naked and apparently eating chicken).  When Alcide arrives he decides he is unamused by the naked hooker who tells him he is a wolf and to get over it.  Anyway enough of that ….. Alcide goes to the room where Sam had been but they had gone.  Turns out Sam had called Martha and was handing Emma over to her on condition that she leaves the pack forever.  With Alcide the asshole as packmaster Martha agrees and her and Emma take off only moments before Alcide catches up with them and threatens Sam and Nicole.  Yawn Yawn Yawn.  Sam asks what happened to them being friends and Alcide basically backs down and tells Sam to go but he is officially “dead” so not to go back to Bon Temps, Shreveport, anywhere he can be recognized.  Yes well we know that isn’t going to happen.  So that was a whole waste of screen time if you ask me.  I expect next week Sam will head on back to the bar (especially when you read what happens later).

Other random info from this episode that doesn’t really fit in with anything else … Andy finally gives number 4 a name. Actually 4 names so that she can remember her sisters. Adeline, Braylin, Charlaine, Dannika.   A B C D, 1 2 3 4 ….. definitely a recurring thing this season.

Back in Fairy Land Warlow/Ben is worried about the approaching night (even though it is blazing daylight there) as he can feel it approaching back where they came from. So time difference not an issue now? *rolls eyes* More rule changes.  OK So they are there and Warlow/Ben is going to need to feed but instead he tells Sookie to tie him to the tree with some vines.  Oh yes a 5000 year old vampire tied to a tree with vines.  That should work …. or wait …. remember the Duct Tape fairy light power ….. Sookie is going to use that to bind the vines so everything will be OK.  Wonder when she got this 101 things you can use Fairy Light for manual.  It sure is coming in handy!  With Warlow/Ben all tied to the tree we get to hear more about the history, which is a lot of repeated dull stuff we already know, we learn that if Sookie and Warlow/Ben are together they can just feed off each other for eternity …. as long as Sookie becomes a vampire fae like him.  Hmmmmmmmm that is all rather stupid and convenient. But hey not my writing.  At least if she did that she could still sunbathe (which seems to be her main objection to the whole vampire thing).

Back in Bon Temps remember the whole Terry issue from last week? Well Terry turns up on Lafayette’s doorstep to give him a key to his safety deposit box and is acting very strange.  Lafayette realizes something is really wrong and calls Arlene who quickly puts 2 and 2 together and actually manages to make 4.  She knows what Terry is up to and plans to put a stop to it but doesn’t know how.  Holly actually provides the solution by having a vampire that she is friends with come and glamour Terry into forgetting everything that is wrong in his life.  Which is a great plan, but as he forgets the marines and all the bad things he also forgets that he asked someone to kill him when he was not expecting it.  Now my husband Greg came up with a GREAT situation that would have made even Alan Ball dance with glee, but sadly HBO didn’t go that route, but it was brilliant so I am going to share it anyway.  He thought it would be a real twist if when the guy was going to shoot Terry, Arlene got in the way and SHE ended up getting shot instead! And no one would have any idea why.  Now THAT would have been a story.  Instead we get Terry at work all ridiculously happy and loving life the next day, he takes the garbage out and BANG shot through the neck.  Now for a top sniper you would have thought he could have at least gone for a decent head shot and it be done with.  Instead we get time for him to be alive long enough for people to come out and for him to die in Arlene’s arms with her singing him a lullaby.  Quite touching I suppose but honestly as I sad last week I am kinda over the whole Terry story and if this is the loss that shocks Bon Temps … well I can live with that!

Back at Vamp Camp things are starting to get interesting although not enough time was spent there this week.  The Governor is really unhappy about the results of the little “Stake Experiment” and so he has other plans to torture Eric (who is shackles in a cage but still looks intimidating).  They bring in Nora, strapped to a gurney because stupid Steve Newlin has told the governor all about her too. They they inject her with Hep V …. a very very concentrated form of Hep D (yes someone on the script writing team has actually watched the whole show from the beginning) and she is going to be patient zero.  Oh this isn’t good. He wheels Nora right in front of Eric so Eric can watch her die but then as with all great villainous plots he then LEAVES and goes to see Willa who demands to be put in general population.  Yes there is a link there ….. While Willa is talking to Tara Eric “Calls” her and Tara recognizes the signs and help her devise a plan to get to Eric.  The plan actually works and it is Willa to the rescue even managing to keep the lab coat clean for Nora to wear before ripping the arm off the doctor which works to open the doors.  Hilarious!

Remember the more on Bill acting later? Well once he is revived by his scientist pet he sees the news on TV where they are explaining how Governor Burrell has partnered up and will be helping Tru Blood get back on the shelves …… AND at a discounted rate to help the vampire population get back on track and things get back to normal.  Hmmm yes something definitely wrong there!   Bill then  locks said pet in a cage and drinks the remainder of the Warlow/Ben Blood sample and then glows … and now he can walk in the sun.  He walks right out into the daylight and zips off to the Governor.  And now the bit that almost hurts to type …. Bill’s actions are actually funny and rather awesome.  He walks right into the compound with armed guards everywhere and he shows them his fangs, which totally freaks them out because the sun is shining.  So they start firing and Bill just walks on through those wooden bullets, as we know they don’t bother him right now, laughing at the pathetic humans and when he has enough  all the guards stop, guns still shakily raised, Bill has them all point the guns at each other …. and says FIRE and all the guards drop down dead in a little circle.  UGH sadly it really was a great scene to watch.  Even better he then goes right up to the Governor and has a very brief chat before sinking his fangs into his neck … and then RIPPING HIS HEAD RIGHT OFF and placing it on a nearby statue base.  In the words of Russell himself .. FANGTASTIC!!!! (Oh that really hurt to say about a Bill scene ……..guess the truth really does hurt lol)

Inside it is all systems go with Eric dressed as a guard (complete with chipped arm to open the doors) with “Doctor” Nora escorting prisoner Willa around the compound to find Pam and then Willa adds that she wants to find Tara and Jessica too which Eric doesn’t seem to care about but he does agree.  Nora is fading fast as they go from door to door but what they find behind one door suddenly explains why the Governor is keen to start supplying Tru Blood again.  Each bottle is going to come complete with a nice dose of Hep V.  It will be a disaster.  Eric maintains his composure but gives a resounding “Fuck me” as he leaves the room.  Yes this is bad for the vampires on a grand scale.

And so we reach the end and to finish this week we get some naked slutty Sookie (who we learn has the nickname “Danger Whore”.  I will stick with Slutty Sookie) and Warlow/Ben action.  Yes he is still tied to a tree but after re-enforcing the vines with some more fairy light she leans over so he can feed …. and then she returns the favor. Ummmmm WHAT??? Yes she takes a nice bite out of his neck and drinks to (presumably) heal her neck wound (we see it heal) and gather some strength for the sex they are about to have.  Honestly I could have done without this.  It was not really sexy, although credit where it is due for just having had twins Anna’s body looks great!!! I was going to say the scene was rather lack luster but then as it ended with them glowing, literally, as they go at it I guess lack luster probably wasn’t the best term.  We end with the glowing expanding out from them and getting brighter …….

And then the credits roll.  Will this light experiment zap them back to reality? Who knows. Stranger things have happened on this show.  The previews for next week look amazing, with Eric begging Billith to save Nora …. but then the trailers for this week fooled me too.  One this is for sure …. Waiting Sucks … and with only 4 episodes I hate that we are almost at the end already *sigh*.  At least we know there is a Season 7 to look forward to 😀

V””V

 

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My Favorite Lines From “Don’t You Feel Me”

  • Lafayette – “Let me get this hetro-staight”
  • Jason – “Beheadenism”
  • Jennie – “Come on we’re werewolves … butch the fuck up!”
  • Terry – “There’s No “The Fuck” “
  • Eric – “Are You Mad That I Turned Your Daughter Into My Daughter”
  • Willa – “Wow I’m Dead And You Are STILL Being Overprotective”
  • Eric – “Well Done Baby Vampire”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 4 – “At Last” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So this week starts with Jason being carried in by Ben and looking not too good at all.  He is still definitely on my radar for “not going to survive this season”.  As Ben lays him on the couch Sookie muses that they need vampire blood but with no vampires easily on hand for a change she goes to call an ambulance instead.  But wait … it is vampire blood to the rescue and looks like Jason is going to be OK.  So let’s do a quick head count as to who is in the house with Sookie …. we have ….. Sookie, Jason, Ben …. and Niall outside with Nora.  So did Nora decide to help….. nope she is busy arguing with Niall about Warlow being the only one that can deal with Lilith because he is the progeny before deciding he just smells tooo good to eat causing her to get zapped off to the road to be promptly shot with those evil bullets and  picked up by the LAVTF (Louisiana Vampire Task Force .. pay attention they are going to come up again) to be whisked off to the mystery detention camp.

OK then I know what you are thinking … Bill comes back to apologize and helps out?  Wrong ……. it’s BEN to the rescue.  Yes VAMPIRE BEN!!  Well technically Vampire /Fairy hybrid Ben?  I know I know damn rules keep on changing.  Well I KNEW something was up with him but must confess I didn’t see this coming.  And obviously he wants it kept hidden because when Sookie comes back and Jason is all healed they claim he must have not have been as bad as they thought .. Hmmmmmmmmmm

Ben “appears the hero” and he and Sookie have a little moment before he leaves because Niall is not happy that he helped Jason instead of playing capture the vamp.  Bet he would be even MORE unhappy if he knew HOW Ben was helping!

After everyone leaves and we get treated to Jason doing pull ups on the door frame “Arrow Style” , Sookie starts to realize something is wrong and she goes down to where Jason had been on the couch and finds just a couple of drops of blood …. funky weird blood like from the fairy club ….. Ooooohhhhhh Wait WHAT?  So Ben is Warlow?  Huh? Oh now I’m confused and that is never a good thing.  At this point I would normally question what the hell Alan Ball is thinking ….. but he isn’t around now so I will have to just say congratulations on continuing the ONE thing from Alan Ball we wanted to lose!!! BLAH!!!!!

But Wait …. we all know what vamp blood means … sexy dreams!!!!  And this is no exception. We get a very weird Ben / Jason type dream involving shaving and lots of innuendo and sexy music.  Enough that my husband was cringing and saying NOT JASON!!! lol.

Over at the werewolf pack (yes I couldn’t care less either but I have to assume at some point something here will be relevent and believe it or not there are actually Alcide fans out there) … Alcide is being a total ass about everything.  This PackMaster crap has really gone to his head.  Not only did they kill off the rest of those Supe fans last week but now they want to hunt down the one with the crazy hair (Nicole) that got away (helped by Sam … still say he should have left her).  Add to this they discover that Sam managed to get Emma and it becomes full scale “get your hunt on”. Yawn!! Wolves are so boring!

In the meantime Sam is taking Emma through the woods trying to get as far ahead of them as they can and being totally slowed down by Nicole.  My husband bought up a great point .. why didn’t Sam just shift into a horse and carry them? Which amused the hell out of me until Lafayette was suddenly right there with the car (and as unamused about having saved Nicole as I was) and they all get in and drive off.

Ginger is busy doing her best impersonation of “Eric will be right with you” on the phone with Governor Burrell and then as the place gets stormed Ginger does what she does best and SCREAM!!! She does stop to remember that she is glamoured and meant to tell the Governor that Eric will be right with him because the knots are hard.  Oh Ginger is so messed up.  Even the Governor can see she has been glamoured way more times than she should (remember Season 1 ….. how many glamours ago was that and Pam and Eric were almost worried about her) and he thinks they will have “fun” with her at the camp. Wanna bet that it isn’t our idea of fun??

Eric and Pam are of course looking for Tara who took off with Willa without permission.  Did Tara forget all the vamp powers so it didn’t work out too well as Pam just summoned her.  When Tara doesn’t want to tell them where she took Willa Pam is about to use the trusty “As Your Maker” command but Tara starts screaming.  Well enough with that already! So Eric slams her to the ground and gets the info the old fashioned way.  Have I mentioned that I am loving this seasons Eric? With Willa’s location eric takes off to deal with her leaving Pam irritated that he was mean to Tara.  Wish they would sort the whole Pam / Eric dynamic out.  This is the one thing that really isn’t working for me *sigh*.

Back at the Bellefleur house the fairy girls 1,2,3 and 4 still don’t have names and are now reminding Terry of the little thing he really wants to forget. That he killed Patrick.  PLEASE do not let this be a lead up to Terry going off the rails … again …… dull dull dull ….. but I can’t really see why else this is going to keep popping up.  Someone find a vamp to glamour him already!! PLEASE!!  Anyway fairy girls are sent to bed and there is a cute moment with Andy telling him he is glad he is their dad (awwwwwwww) … but then he shuts the door, the lights go off, and suddenly they are 18!!! UGH!!  I have to say the whole scene was hilarious with the girls comparing boobs and then deciding they need to sneak out and party and the ONLY access to clothes they have is Arlene’s closet!!! TOO FUNNY!!! But seriously they make so much noise, and Andy is supposed to be a cop, on alert, AND a new dad, and NOONE notices as they leave … WITH the Sheriff’s car?  That they just somehow know how to drive? Oh well … let the fun and games begin.  We all know that they are going to get captured by Bill for his crazy experiments …. and they do.

Actually Jessica convinces Bill to let her “abduct” them from the liquor store (nice to see they have the original clerk there .. I got a kick out of that!) ….. and she does a good job convincing them to come party with her … even though she smells funny cos she’s dead.  Oh we know this won’t end well.

So they get back to Bill’s and one of the little fairy girls hits on Bill .. ewwwwwww yes it’s gross.  Bill is more interested in his little history toy that they use when they don’t want to bite people.  Really? Who came up with that?  It just draws blood and stores it in little vials after being strapped on their wrist.  Honestly, it just seemed kinda stupid. And to think that these girls would be hitting on Bill?  RIDICULOUS!!  Once Bill has the blood he takes it to his captured scientist down in the lab and tells him he needs to replicate the fairy blood.  Hmmmmm Failure is not an option!!  Should probably have sounded threatening … to me it just sounded funny!!! But it worked and science guy goes off to work.

And it is on to my favorite part of this week’s episode.  Now I am sure that there are going to be a LOT of fans out there that hated it but I DON’T CARE!!!  Eric gets to where Willa is and finds that she was waiting for him.  Apparently Tara is so stupid she didn’t even glamour her to stay put *sigh* (Tara is SO annoying).  Eric and Willa have a flirty little conversation and Eric is just so charming.  Oh how could anyone resist ….. actually why would anyone WANT to resist lol…. and he carries her off in her flowing white dress (how symbolic) and digs their grave and they jump in.  The music plays, and Eric takes off his shirt and lays down with her *sigh*. She is scared and excited and he just looks at her and says Death is not the end……. is it going to hurt ….. not the way I do it … and fangs come down.  Oh HELL yes!! Now THIS is the True Blood I like to watch.  YAY for vampire Eric!!! 😀  All of you that are out there bitching can just keep it to yourself.  My FAV scene of the season SO FAR!! BY FAR!!!   Anyway where was I …. got distracted there for a bit … got to love the rewind option 😉 …… soooooo fangs down and he leans in for the bite … .although half of the blood in typical true blood feeding style runs everywhere (They should take a couple of lessons from Claudia .. not a drop spilled – FIRST FEEDING …. just saying …) ….. And as Willa lays there dying .. blood running into the ground ….. Eric lets her know that everything her father put in her is now leaving and it is going to be replaced by a millennium of wisdom, honor, and life.  Hmmmmm I always said I wanted Pam as my maker …. I may have changed my mind …..

Then in typical true blood fashion it is daytime and we are with Nicole, Alcide and Emma and Lala.  Nicole plans on limping away with her nasty bite on her leg but Sam convinces her that that would basically just kill her.  Same sends Lafayette away in the car after thanking him for his help and then I had to laugh because Sam turns into a horse!!! TOO FUNNY!!! I actually had to slap my husband at this point because of his earlier comment because seriously how hilarious is that!!!!  Awesome!!!!!   A short time later Alcide and his pack of crazy turn up and are irritated they haven’t caught them yet.  Alcide goes all packmaster crazy with his orders and decides just 2 of them will track Sam and the others can go back.  Oh Why are pack politics so boring? And why is Alcide still being such an asshole.  You know the V has had to have worn off by now!  Guess we can call that packmaster Fever? Hmmm on second thought who cares ….. Oh Later we get to see Sam and Nicole in a hotel room and they are obviously going to get it on.  Which is just stupid!  They were just talking about Luna dying in his arms and he turns to another.  UGH .. enough with the damn shifters and crap!! so I just threw this in with this bit because they are all boring me. Show me the vamps!!!

All over town daytime plans are continuing.  Sookie knows something is up with Ben so does the obvious thing and goes and invites him for dinner.  Actually she does have a plan …. and not just the whole Slutty Sookie thing which she does bring back into play …. Slutty Sookie is not so much fun this season though I have to say ….. but hey it could be worse … she could be going after Alcide!   Jason has a little heart to heart with Niall and Niall “sees” his sexy dream with Ben and works out that everything is wrong so they decide to go after him (without Sookie knowing of course. There can be no kind of useful communication in this show ever … I think it’s a rule when then write the scripts!)

Andy has finally realised that the kids are missing and puts out a crazy APB for 4 caucasian females between 4 and 7 feet tall, between 60 and 260lbs and between the ages of 10 and 50.  Poor Andy …. how would you be able to describe the kids that change that fast?  Terry tries to rationalize that they are just out having fun but as Andy says it isn’t really safe out there right now and well things aren’t going to get better any time soon.

As Sookie shops (and leaves messages telling Jason to keep himself and Niall OUT for the evening), Jason and Niall decide to go hunt down Warlow / Ben / whatever he is.  They find him .. about to take a shower ….. and they go in with Jason armed with a Shot Gun and Niall with his Light Ball.  Sadly Ben is ready for them and he glamours Jason while he makes it clear he is about to do away with Niall.  Poor Jason 😦  He has been mind messed with almost as much as Ginger.  That can’t be good for him.  So Jason leaves (with no memory of what is going on) and Ben starts draining Niall (A mouthful at a time and spitting it out … not quite sure what is up with that). On a side note can I add I really wish they had chosen someone more charismatic to play this Ben / Warlow character.  He just isn’t working for me at all!!!  Just fry him already!  Anyway he takes Niall off to the bridge, not dead, and throws him through the weird portal that keeps appearing there.  Very strange! Is Niall gone for good?  Did they do a Roman and bring him in just to get rid of a big name so fast? Something tells me no … but we will see.

Night falls and Bill is working with his little scientist friend to try and sort out the fairy blood but of course it isn’t that easy.  When Mr Scientist realises that there are other prisoners (ie the fairies) upstairs he says he won’t help which results in Bill floating him around the ceiling until he agrees.   Silly scientist doesn’t seemed to have worked out quite how much trouble he is in.  Probably still thinking about Jessica in last week’s school girl outfit lol.  Sadly for Bill, upstairs the fairies had decided they had had enough and wanted to leave and got way too close to Jessica when she tried to stop them and so she ate them all.  Yep she ate 4 fairies …. but instead of being high she is crying and sobbing and sorry in a corner hoping they aren’t dead. Hmmmmmmm that isn’t right.  Eric is 1000 years old and drains one fairy and is drunk as a skunk and hilarious ….. Jessica, still basically a baby vamp drinks 4 and is just sad?  Hope they plan on explaining THAT next week!!

Andy finally tracks down his cop car and goes to the liquor store where the girls met up with Jessica and Jason realises that the clerk was glamoured and Andy suddenly realises his little vamp daughters are in danger.  But he may be too late …… Did they actually bring them in just to kill them off??  Guess we will see next week ……

With night falling of course Willa has risen and Eric, being the awesome maker that he is has a fresh person on hand to pay to feed her.  Like take out :D.  Love the symbolism of the pure white dress now bloody and filthy as she wanders around with her new vampires senses although she is rather crude when she asks if they are going to fuck and hunt.  Eric luckily has other plans.  He is sending her back to her father so he can see that vampires are not monsters and that they were once human.  He explains over her protests that she is only the second vampire he has made in over 1000 years and he did not choose this likely but when reasoning fails he just uses the whole “As Your Maker I command You” trick and off she goes.  I do love that!!

Talking of Eric’s children, his other child Pam is trying to deal with Tara who is being a pain in the ass as usual and her bitching ends up getting Pam caught by the LAVTF.  UGH I HATE Tara!! And I am irritated with Pam because she keeps letting Tara influence her. I want the old Pam and Eric back!!!!!! Anyway now the LAVTF have Steve, Pam, and Nora that we know of.  Oh this isn’t good.

Their leader, Governor Burrell is at his home with Sarah Newlin and apparently he is “With” Sarah.   YUCK!! Did not need that image thank you oh so much HBO!  Well Sarah is about to talk to the Governor about something very important when they are interrupted by guards who have the new vampire Willa with them.  The Governor sends the guards out … yes not too smart… and Willa tries to explain that it is still her.  Sadly this all kinda goes to hell when she smells the wound on his hand and goes right for his throat but Sarah shoots her before she can do any real damage and says she needs to get sent off to camp.  Hmmmmm now I wonder was this Eric’s plan? She is after all a newborn? Or did he think with his blood in her and a good feeding that she would be able to control herself?  Perhaps his plan is to get her into the camp so he can track her and find where it is?  Guess we will have to wait and see.

Sookie is all ready for her date with Ben / Warlow who is late …. and who has had his food laced with silver.  Good plan Sookie but apparently either you gave him the wrong plate or you can add dealing with silver to his walk in the sun abilities.  Isn’t it great when they can just make up rules as they go along?  Maybe they read the last book after all lol.  Sookie is babbling on about Bill, and liars, and what Ben really wants and for a moment I almost thought she believed that Ben was wanting to be with her ….. especially when she started taking her clothes off.  But apparently slutty Sookie is not as stupid as we all thought and she traps him on the couch with her sparkly light ball that she has been practicing and the final words … Get off Me Or Die Warlow!!!!

And now we wait!!! UGH!!!  And Waiting SUCKS!!!! This season is definitely my favorite for a long time and I want it to be Sunday NOW!!!!

V””V

trueeric2

My Favorite Lines From  “ At Last”

  • Arlene – “Uncle Terry has a very active imagination and it is rude to snoop around in it”
  • Andy – “It’s time for bed … you ain’t slept since you were 3”
  • Bill – “Failure Is Not An Option”
  • Eric – “So Much Courage, So Little Experience”
  • Eric – “Death Is Not The End”
  • Jason – “Even though you’re a fairy …. you’re kind of a straight fairy right?”

 

True Blood Season 5 Ep 12 Save Yourself (Finale) Synopsis / Review V””V

So Fellow Trubies here we are at the Season 5 Finale.  How can 12 weeks have gone by so quickly!!! I will be the first to admit this season has had its ups and downs but I have to say Alan Ball certainly did us proud with his final writing instalment before he leaves the show. For the first time since the premiere there was yelling at the TV and finally a feeling that maybe this insanity WAS in fact leading to a plan.  Oh yes normal disclaimer blah blah blah  my spoiler reviews are long and detailed and this one may be even worse than normal due to total over excitement!  My favorite memorable lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), New for the finale …. Body / Goo Splatter count … and  new for this year HBO Go added online extras time stamps for each of them : Listed after the body count).

Hang on people because here we go! At the end of last week Russell was about to embark of destroying a HUGE buffet of fairy goodness having eaten the elder and now apparently being not able only to see the fairy club but also immune to all the light they are throwing at him.  Just when it looks like it might be curtains for all the little fae folk Eric appears from nowhere and whisks Russell away with a stake (piece of twig)  to the heart and Russell crumbles away in an explosion of all the light he has ingested and becomes goo splatter number one in what promises to be a very goo filled finale.  Awwwww Goodbye Russell … I for one will miss your insanity and the killing sprees which you love so much.  Hopefully you and Talbot can now be together again. Kudos to Eric though for finally getting the revenge he has been searching for for a Millenia even if you did save the fairies in the process.  I guess that was necessary *sigh*. So not even to the intro credits and already the body count has started!

With Russell goo and Steve running off into the woods, Sookie decides to come out to check on Jason who is still lying motionless by the tree he hit.  Nora appears and she can smell Sookie the fairy and she wants to eat her.  Part of me was just willing her to DO IT Mwahahaha but Eric steps in and despite Nora being very reluctant he makes her swear on Godric that she won’t eat her.  Hilarious!  Jason comes too and has obviously had quite a blow to his head because he sees Sookie as his mom … hmmmm that can’t be good.  Someone should check him for a concussion!

Over at the vamp headquarters Bill is still being tortured by the voice of Lilith telling him to drink but he is not yet convinced.  At the end of last week we saw him call for his breakfast and they were bringing Sam to him and that is where we pick things up.  When Sam appears he starts by berating his useless guards for not being able to tell the difference between a human and a shifter smell.  Hmmm maybe that explains why no one recognised that Sam and Luna were there after all.  We are used to competent vampires!  When Sam realises that there is no reasoning with Bill he turns into a fly and escapes providing much amusement for me as Bill jumps all over the place trying to catch him … and failing miserably.  He then decides a better course of action is to yell and scream at his useless guards for allowing the breach to happen, while Salome watches on,  and order that they scour the whole place for flies, mice, rats, fleas, in fact anything that moves and then kill it.  If that fails to turn back into a person then keep hunting! As the guards are dismissed we think he is going to tell Salome that Bill believes he is the chosen one but it seems we have underestimated Bill.  Instead he tells Salome that Lilith appeared to him and told him that Lilith appeared to him and told him that SHE was the chosen one and that he was to serve her loyally.  Hmmm Bill what are you up to??

Down in the cells (Vampire Pantry?) Sam reappears in fly form and transforms just long enough to tell Luna that Bill has lost his mind and that he is casing the place for a way out.  he tells Luna to just stay put but to shift and escape if the guards come for her and that Emma will obviously be safe as she is Steve’s pet.

Further along (perhaps in another sector) we see Pam and Jessica who have been placed in adjoining cells so are able to have some nice little girl talk.  Jessica tries to convince Pam that Eric has become caught up in the whole cult thing but Pam is not convinced. Bill she believes would join in a heartbeat as he is always looking for something to feel guilty about but Eric has always made fun of religion. Pam points out that she has seen this over and over but it is normally the humans doing it.  When Jessica points out that it has Bill so messed up he wasn’t even going to try to save Sookie because the book says she is an abomination Pam amusingly says that maybe there is something to this religion after all!!  Pam has consistently been hilarious through this whole season and this continues through the finale.  LOVE HER!

Eric and Nora, in the meantime, bickering like children, have headed to Fangtasia where Tara tells Eric that The Authority has Pam.  We get to see that Eric has been stashing money away for a looooooooooong time! I for one would DEFINITELY like access to that wall!! Nora is not happy about the plan to go and save Pam, who as she points out is just a former prostitute …. hmmmm watch it Nora …. I like you but things could definitely change! Even worse for Nora she finds out that Tara is family too so she has to, according to Eric, be nice to her! Oh much as Tara annoys me the look on her face at the moment was awesome!

Jason and Sookie have retreated to Sookie’s house where Sookie finally makes the sensible suggestion of taking Jason to the Emergency room to get checked out which seeing as Jason is not only seeing, but having conversations with his dead parents, may be a rather good idea.  Before any decisions are made though Eric, Nora and Tara come rushing in, which reminds Sookie that Eric never gave her the deed to her house back. Eric promises to do it tomorrow, if the survive the night.  Well that doesn;t sound too ominous now does it!  Eric needs Sookie to come and help rescue Bill and Jessica oh and Pam who Tara keeps pointing out that Sookie owes. Eric and Jason get into trading insults (Jason runs out first) and Nora is still obsessing over how Sookie smells and really not being much help at all.  Sookie eventually agrees despite Jason’s protests but “ghost daddy” Stackhouse (sorry couldn’t resist) tells Jason he could kill a lot of vamps in there so he says he is going too.  Eric tells him not t be a fool to which we get one of the classic Jason lines of the season … “If I want to be a fool then I will be a fool …. That is my god given right as an American!”

Daytime hits and we head over to Jackson to see watch Alcide and his dad have a little bonding time after their babyvamp killing the night before.  To be honest it all seems pretty pointless and getting us no closer to the obvious conclusion of Alcide trying to become Packmaster in Shreveport again but then Martha pulls up with Rikki thrown in the back seat and Rikki is not in good shape at all.  Apparently JD has been force feeding them all lots of V and Rikki is having a pretty bad reaction to it.  She can’t decide if she wants to fight or have crazy animal sex with Alcide but it is pretty clear that neither of those things are going to happen.  Luckily for everyone it seems that Alcide’s dad has this special stuff that will get the V out of her system mainly through her skin so she ends up looking like she is covered in blood (almost like a Lilith reject) and suffering from the worst hangover ever.  As Alcide learns all the things that JD has been up to (on top of the V feeding he has been forcing some of the younger wolves to have sex) he comes to the realization that he HAS to do something but he doesn’t know what.  Luckily it is daddy to the rescue with some special “High Quality” (I am assuming some very old vamp) V that he keeps in the fridge for just such occasions.  Alcide amazingly actually agrees that this is then only way to win. Hmmmm if he had just done that in the first place this whole storyline could have been skipped and left more time for the vamp goodness!

Jason and Sookie are taking advantage of the daylight to stock up at the now closed Stake Shop complete with their cargo of 3 vampires in their ultralight travel coffins thrown in the back of Jason’s truck with just a big tarp over them  Jason lets Sookie know that he is all about killing vampires at the moment.  ALL Vampires and that once they get into the Authority if it has fangs it is fair game.  Sookie doesn’t like this new Jason and tries to talk him out of it but with Ghost Mommy and Ghost Daddy filling his ears with how great he is doing Jason seems, at least for now, to be heading towards a kill all vampires crusade.  Not good! Let’s hope that he starts to see reason before they all have to work together.

Over at Merlottes Holly, Arlene, and Lafayette are taking advantage of the lack of customers (except of course Jane Bodehouse who seems to think she might have slept with Andy at some point in the woods …. well ok then lol) and are partying with some rather amazing drinks that Lafayette has made and a change in music rather than as LaLa loving calls it “Sam Merlotte’s Redneck Taste In Music”.  I have to say it has been GREAT to see Lafayette back with his pizzazz this season.  This is the LaLa we all fell in love with back in Season one and he has been a LONG time coming back to us!!  To ruin a perfectly good party though Andy comes in with his pregnant fairy Morella who apparently needs to just drink tons and tons of salt.  Very strange!  As Andy settles Morella with her salt he goes to try and explain things to Holly who can tell that things aren’t good.  After his confession, before poor Holly can even say what she thinks about it all Morella stands and announces, complete with glowing vagina, that her light broke!  As night falls, with poor Holly acting as midwife and Andy, Lafayette, Arelene and Jane watching on Morella proceeds to go into labor and let me tell you, fae labor looks a lot more fun than regular old human labor.  Morella was convulsing on the table with what can only be called “Laborgasms” rather than labor pains and a scream hitting notes high enough to break glass …. literally! We learn that Fae babies are born with no umbilical cords and apparently in multiples.  Andy ends up with 4 beautiful little girls and when Morella is done she gets up and goes to leave letting Andy know that the light pact has been fulfilled and now it is his job to make sure at least half survive to adulthood!! Oh Andy, what HAVE you gotten yourself into!!

Back at the Vampire Headquarters we get to see Bill and Salome in bed …. now I know I was asking for some more sex this season but UGH not them!!  Their sex looks so dull and uninteresting.  You would think after a couple thousand years that at least Salome would have a couple of tricks to show off.  *Sigh*.  Could they not have thrown in some Eric / Nora action instead?? Would that have been too much to ask?  Anyway while they are occupied as Rosalyn says “buttering each others biscuits ” Jason, Sookie, Eric, Nora and Tara are heading straight for them.  Eric is amusing as he appears in the car window, having woken up, hanging upside down and asks Jason to Pull Over .. Pleeeeaaaseeeee.  Too Funny!!

It all starts to get crazy now.  Sam has a plan to get Emma out which involves Luna skinwalking as Steve Newlin and then coming in to get Emma out to go for a walk.  All is going well and they free Emma (Sam hiding in fly form) but in the main entrance they run into Chelsea who is confused by Steve’s sudden loss of his Southern Accent.  Despite Luna/Steve trying to cover they are luckily saved by a very annoyed Rosalyn who can’t find any of the other chancellors and who is desperately trying to save the public relations nightmare going on.  I am not sure why exactly at this point they care what the humans think but apparently that is her job and she is sticking to it.  Complete with Steve(Luna) going up to do a TV appearance.  Poor Luna/Steve is freaking out a little and definitely does not look like the calm, I can sell anything, Steve Newlin that Rosalyn needs right now but as they are about to go live there doesn’t seem to be another option.

She may have wished that she had looked for one though as almost as soon as Luna/Steve starts talking she/he starts vomiting blood and shifts back into Luna! Right on live TV!  Will this be the opening for next season for the shifters to come out? Luna quickly tells the world that vampires have an underground headquarters in New Orleans and they are keeping humans as prisoners for food before Rosalyn kicks over all the equipment.  Rosalyn is FURIOUS and fangs out heads for Luna but Sam in fly mode flies into her mouth … and you guessed it … shifts in her throat causing her to explode and become the finale’s second pile of goo. So far that is 2 vampires down and you know this is just the start.  After a quick smile at Sam in relief Luna collapses. We all know bu now that skinwalking takes a toll but we don’t see anything else tonight so whether she will survive this latest escapade will have to wait until next season.  In my body count list I gave her a big question mark.

Quick time out here from all the vamp action to go to Shreveport where JD has captured a vamp and is about to feed the pack some more V when a very amped up Alcide comes in and doesn’t even wait for any conversation he just says that’s enough and starts beating the crap out of him. When another wolf looks like he is going to jump in Alcide’s dad jumps in and stops any interference and then Martha comes out with a shotgun to stop anyone else from interfering.  The fight is over quickly and Alcide rips out JD’s throat.  Hmmm well done Alcide.  He then goes on to give a great big long speech about the honor of the pack and that anyone that doesn’t like it has 24 hours to leave.  Blah Blah Blah … Yes I get it … well done Alcide … now back to the vampires!!!

Outside the vampire headquarters Eric and Nora drive up with Tara, Jason and Sookie apparently tied up in the back.  Bill gives them permissions to come in but not before the guard comments on how amazing the blonde smells.  Eric puts stop to that with a quick “She’s MINE!”  Oh not heard that for a while. So Salome is busy getting her sacred blood, which of course she can’t just drink, she has to create this whole big ritual, and Bill is in his room spying on all the surveillance videos, and our attack team are in the elevator arming up like a bad episode of Buffy but Tara has a nifty little gadget to blow out all the surveillance monitors.

The doors open and poor Chelsea realises something is wrong and just manages to hit the emergency panic button before Jason shoots her making her goo pile 3.  Now level 2 protocol is activated which I thought involved UV lights being triggered but Jason takes care of shooting out all the things in the ceilings which I thought were monitors but perhaps they stop the UV too?  Or maybe I am just remembering that wrong.  We do see the alarms going off in the cells too and no one is getting fried there either sooooo maybe that is only level one?  Of course I should go back and watch and check but I wanted to write this up today so I haven’t yet .. I may come back in and edit later …..

But I digress… Eric and Nora flash off to go to another room leaving Jason to take care of 3 more guards … splat splat splat before Sookie and Tara can exit the elevator and head down to the cells to find Jessica and Pam.

Eric and Nora are floating near the ceiling in the main meeting chamber and manage to take out a whole team of guards (12 I believe) in fangtastic style to bring the goo count up to 18.  Awesome!! Blood and goo everywhere!! LOVE IT!!!

Sookie and Tara go down to rescue Pam and Jessica but have to wait for Eric and Nora to disarm the system giving Tara the opportunity to splat yet another guard. Up to 19.  Not a good day to work for the Authority! Watching Eric and Nora bicker as they try and disarm the system was funny! They are so adorable together.  And their time taking gives Jason the chance to splat another vamp guard up in reception.  That makes 20!  When the doors to the cells can finally be opened Tara and Pam share a kiss that we have seen coming for a while now to a very triumphant “I KNEW IT” from Jessica!  Adorable!

While the chaos reigns in other parts of the building Salome is preparing to drink the blood in her little ritual.  Bill is there are seems to be trying to talk her out of it but Salome is set and says she trusts Lilith completely.  Hmmmmm turns out while she was busy trusting Lilith she should have been paying more attention to Bill who has apparently switched the blood out and spiked the new blood with a ton of silver. Ooooh Salome you silly silly girl.  For someone who is 2000 years old maybe you should have been a little more careful who you trusted.  And so Bill reveals that he has the sacred Lilith blood safe in a little vial and then stakes and turns poor Salome into another pile of Goo with the last words “Lilith Chose Wisely” (which I disagree with) making our splat total 21 and as predicted the rest of the Authority is no more … except Nora …. hmmmmm maybe they are keeping her around for some steamy scenes with Eric in season 6?  One can only hope!

As Bill finishes off Salome our band of renegades regroup in the lobby and manage to avoid Jason shooting them.  Jessica is so happy to see Jason but he pretty much breaks her heart telling her that he could never love a vampire.  Awwww poor Jessica :(.  The look that Pam and Eric says and the little Hello I thought was just amazing.  Those tiny actions speaking louder than a thousand words.  Fangtastic!  Eric tells them all to reload on the way up to the roof as there will be more guards waiting for them but then he and Sookie don’t get on the elevator.  They are going to try and save Bill, a plan which no one else seems very thrilled about but then the doors close.

Eric and Sookie find Bill standing over Salome’s remains and try and talk him into just getting rid of the blood but Bill is too far gone.  He says he only let them in in case he needed help finishing off Salome.  He says he has never cared for Sookie and she is an abomination.  Sookie is heartbroken and pleads with him to find what is left in himself but Bill is sick of apologizing and is ready to take control.  (Let me add at this point my husband was SCREAMING at the tv DRINK THE BLOOD DRINK THE BLOOD …. it was hysterical and he was rewarded because Bill does indeed drink the rest of the supposed blood of Lilith and I don’t think ANYONE could have predicted what happened next!!! Bill starts bleeding from everywhere and explodes becoming a great big BILL PILE OF GOO!!!!  NO WAY!!!!! Let me tell you the sounds in this house were hilarious.  My husband tugging on my arm saying did you see that coming, shocked gasps from my daughter, and me saying NO WAY!!!

Surely they wouldn’t kill off Bill right?? I mean I know the shock of killing off a main character but BILL???  Well Alan Ball had us fooled and totally ruined my whole “once you are goo you are gone” theory.  From the pile a good a large puddle of blood formed and from the blood formed BILL!  Just as Lilith rose from the blood earlier in the season Bill or as my lovely Lauren dubbed him “Billith” rose naked and with the biggest fangs (I mean these are FRANKLIN sized)  and he looks straight at Eric and Sookie …. and the season ends with Eric yelling RUN!!  

Run??? RUN??  How is she supposed to outrun Billith? Pick her up and RUN WITH HER!!!  And so ends yet another tumultuous season leaving us with the main questions being what on earth is going on with Bill now? And of course we still have no answers about Warlow.  How will Andy deal with 4 half fae babies, and is Luna going to make it.  Of course we have a year to wait ….. but yet Alan Ball left us a sneak peek online … only online after the credits rolled and now available on HBO Go and probably on YouTube ….. So I will leave you today with the details from that ……..

It is a scene in the elevator with the rest of the renegades getting everything reloaded and ready to stake more vamps.  Tara and Pam agree to go on a date (Awwwwww) and we see Jason look as though he is about to maybe freak out and take out all the vamps in there with him.  Before he can do something so stupid the doors open and they exit guns ready and fangs out.  As they head up some stairs (taking out another guard in the way … does that count in the numbers? lol) Jason says that he is coming for Warlow … to which Nora asks what he knows about Warlow letting us know that obviously at least Nora has some information on the subject so maybe Eric does too …. and THAT IS ALL WE GET!!!!!!!!!!   Oh it is going to be a LONG YEAR … and we all know WAITING SUCKS!!!!!

V””V

Memorable Lines From Save Yourself

  • Eric – “Well that felt even better than I thought it would!”
  • Nora – “OK I won’t eat her ….. swear on Godric”
  • Tara- “Are you sure this thing is light tight ….. it looks like Tupperware”
  • Jason – “If I want to be a fool then I will be a fool …. That is my god given right as an American!”
  • Pam – “Must all roads lead to fucking Sookie?”
  • Jason – “”That train has already sailed”
  • Arelene – “Who knew watching an Alien give birth could be so comforting”
  • Morella – “I honor what was, what is, and what will never be”
  • Eric – “See what you have been missing? Working for the fucking Authority?”

Season Finale Body / Goo Splatter Count

  • 1. Russell Edgington
  • 2. Rosalyn
  • 3. Chelsea the receptionist.
  • 4, 5, 6.  Three Guards by the elevator.
  • 7-18 … Whole Team Of Guards
  • 19. Prison Cells Guard
  • 20. Guard in reception
  • 21. Salome
  • 22. Bill …… but not for long

? I still have a big ??? About Luna ….. she was vomiting blood before she shifted back and we see her collapse.  Is it one skinwalk too many for her??

 

HBO Go – Extras

  • 01.11 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 01.25 – Unusual Refusal (Video)
  • 01.30 – An Ancient Feud
  • 01.38 – An Ancient Feud
  • 01.46 – An Ancient Feud
  • 01.54 – An Ancient Feud
  • 03.44 – Eternally Devoted (Video)
  • 05.20 – No Obstacles (Video)
  • 06.09 – Family Values (Video)
  • 08.24 – Unlikely Allies (Video)
  • 09.38 – Relive : A Special Connection (Video)
  • 10.58 – Jessica’s Vlog : Authority Prisoners (Video)
  • 12.18 – Selfless Sam (Video)
  • 13.29 – Challenge Accepted (Video)
  • 18.05 – Brotherly Love (Video)
  • 20.59 – Now Playing : Dazz performed by Beck
  • 21.57 – True Secret : Dueling DJ’s
  • 22.44 – A Rowdy Regular
  • 22.55 – True Secret : Faerie Cravings
  • 26.13 – Relieve : Absolutely, Totally, Unavailable.
  • 27.33 – Man on A Mission (Video)
  • 29.19 – Relive : Health Code Violations At Merlotte’s
  • 32.34 – Becoming Luna, Part 2 (Video)
  • 33.43 – True Trivia : Jane Bodehouse
  • 33.48 – True Trivia : Jane Bodehouse
  • 39.50 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 39.56 – Kaboom
  • 41.41 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 41.59 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 42.44 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 43.11 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 43.59 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 44.19 – A Long Time Coming (Video)
  • 47.21 – Friendship Hierarchy (Video)
  • 48.56 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 52.44 – Now Playing : Save Yourself performed by Stabbing Westward

True Blood Season 5 Ep 9 Everybody Wants To Rule The World Synopsis / Review V””V

Greetings and Salutations fellow Trubies (or my random blog followers). Here we are at Episode 9 and just when things had been building up nicely I have to say this episode, for me at least, fell kind of flat.  Probably because less than 1/4 of it .. yes you read that correctly, was about the vampires! Dear Alan Ball and crew …. did you FORGET the original premise for the show?  Normally at this point there is a little disclaimer about my spoiler reviews and the length and detail they go into but this time it is a bit different.  As this episode contained a whole lot of filler that did not interest me in the least (save for the fact that it did seem to effectively FINISH 2 of the ever-growing list of storylines so they can just be OVER) I have decided that this will be split into summarizing (and my thoughts / bitching)  the 3 main storylines going on with the odd other bits I feel deserve mentioning, oh and the werewolf stuff too …. suppose I should mention what is going on with that.  At least part of it ties in with the vamps!  I did still list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and kept the new for this year HBO Go added online extras time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

When you break this week’s episode down, as I said, you really have 3 main things going on.  1. The Vampire Authority / Sanguinisa plans to take over the world, 2. The whole Obama / Shifter shooting storyline, and 3. The Terry / Patrick / Ifrit ridiculous smoke monster issue…… with honorable mentions to Lafayette and Pam in their scenes.   As the only one that interests me out of those main 3 is the first one let’s take these in reverse order.

As we know from last week the spirit of the woman that cursed Terry and Patrick has come up with an acceptable solution to let one of them live. Well this drags on through much of the episode with Terry going off to find Patrick, who in turns decides he is going to make the first move and kidnaps Arlene and holds her hostage at Merlottes.  When Terry arrives they argue, Arlene eventually stabs Patrick with a pencil (seems to be a recurring weapon in True Blood), and then Terry gets Patrick at gunpoint on the floor.  Suddenly Patrick is all about family and doing the right thing as Arlene screams frantically to shoot him. The ghost appears and tells Terry to “do the right thing” which turns out to be shooting Patrick twice in the head.  This makes the ghost happy as the debt has been paid in blood and the smoke monster / iFrit thing, comes out and devours Patrick’s body leaving just a puddle of blood on the floor. Well that is a much easier clean up!  And thus hopefully ends one of what has to be the most pointless, time-wasting storylines this season!

Before we get to the shifter shooting stuff a brief mention of Sookie. After her crazy encounter with the vamp “spirit thingy” has called the wonderful Lafayette to see if he a sense something going on.  Now after the build up last week this vamp entity doesn’t make any appearance this episode at all but I have to say Lafayette in this scene was awesome! I love seeing him back with his season 1 pizzazz and flinging around some amazing lines.  Pretty much every line out of his mouth in this scene could have ended up in the best lines!  Whilst he fails to sense any weird vamp spirit he does discover that there are a whole lot of ghosts around in Sookie’s bedroom and they ALL want to have their say.  He, however, is only interested in listening to Gran.  She tells them to look under the bed where there is a box that Sookie has gone through many times but this time she realizes when reading one of the newspaper clippings that Bud Dearborn investigated her parents death. (Oh so that explains the apparently random appearance last week … knew there had to be a True Blood type reason for Andy’s visit).

With Hoyt missing and Luna irritated, everyone seems to be researching the whole Obama / shifter shooting.  Jason and Andy are doing things the police way (which apparently includes beating the hell out of a prisoner to get no information), and have worked out that they need to know who the “Dragon” is so they can put a stop to it.  Luna and Sam turn up at the police station and are told to go home but Sam has a better idea and they turn into flies and hover to get the information as it comes to the Police’s attention.  This actually doesn’t take long as whilst watching hate videos they notice that one of the Obama’s are wearing boots …. line dancing special boots …. given on his retirement.  Yep Bud Dearborn is an Obama. 

Sadly Sookie wasn’t in on this conversation and she was doing her own investigation into her parents death with no clue what she was getting into.  Bud’s new girlfriend knocks her out with a frying pan and ties her up and dumps her out in a pig pen with Hoyt one stall over, unconscious with no idea what is going on.  When Sookie comes around we learn that Bud’s girlfriend is Sweetie Des Arts (Nice book reference) and she is in fact that Dragon and started her hating when her ex preferred a shifter to her.  Her answer to everything is to drug Sookie with some Oxycontin laced ginger ale and then throw Sookie and Hoyt for the pigs to eat all whilst filming it for their Humans For America website. 

This probably would have been a good plan save for the fact that Sam and Luna were already there, disguised as pigs, and Sam catches Sookie as he transforms to human much to the surprise and annoyance of the Obamas.  After safely depositing Sookie on the ground a very naked Sam fights most of the Obamas but Sweetie takes off chased by Luna who is now a German Shepherd.  With the chase going on outside Andy and Jason finally show up with reinforcements just in time to save Sam as Andy shoots Bud in the chest and kills him.  The remaining Obamas soon surrender and Luna catches Sweetie and beats the hell out of her.  Hey I would have to for threatening my daughter!  Hoyt is severely injured but is taken to the hospital and we assume he is going to be OK.  If not just call Jessica and have her bring over some vamp blood.

Well that would appear to be the end of that storyline so that is 2 of them finished with (one hopes) for the season.  Of course all is not over with shifters as Emma has been staying with the wolves after the whole Martha stepping in to help her bit.  More on that in the vamp bit coming up but a brief mention of Alcide.  This week all we see of him is him off licking his wounds (metaphorically speaking) and he is heading back to Jackson to see his dad.  We get a rather pointless (in my opinion) flashback to him and Debbie as children being initiated into the pack, and then we get to see him at the end with his dad who is gambling and drinking in a trailer somewhere.  I am assuming we will get to learn more about that next week.  Oh joy … I can hardly wait!

Oh yes almost forgot and Sookie goes home and is watching the Tru Blood stuff on the news when her family fairies turn up …. as we only see them for a minute and they let Sookie know vampires are behind it all I am guessing they are going to be around to help next week too.

And so we get to the actual part that I WAS interested in.  The vampires.  The episode actually starts with the council members all standing around the table with a naked man spread out ready for them to eat.  Russell suggests a prayer that Steve supplies (a hilarious stupid thing that doesn’t amuse Salome at all) which is then followed by Salome chanting something far more religious sounding… and then they all eat.

In the entry office we see Molly (the little technical iStake expert) trying to access the elevator but we discover she doesn’t have high enough clearance.  She knows something is up and Eric corners her in a room and with the help of one of her little gadget that allows them 30 second surveillance free chat they come up with a crazy plan that will enable them both to escape.

Eric confronts Bill over his, what Eric thinks is, playing along, but it immediately becomes clear that Bill seems to be a little more involved than Eric thought claiming that he actually wonders if God was a vampire.  Eric does however go over the plan which is going to turn out to be a huge mistake.   The other part of Eric’s plan seems to involve convincing Nora that he wants to believe.  Now this to me was the perfect opportunity to put in some Eric / Nora nookie!  We are definitely lacking of the sex this season and what they have given us other than episode one has been dull dull dull!!!  And tonight is no exception.  Instead of Eric and Nora we get a boring scene with Bill and Salome, who becomes Sookie, and then Lilith, and then Salome again. Well at least we see that Sookie didn’t actually sleep with Bill again so Praise Lilith for that I guess.  Ugh seriously who is directing these scenes??? It used to be that you could say no it’s not porn it’s True Blood but the last few seasons it has been yawnsville!!!

While all the boring sexscapades and lack thereof are going on Russell and latest boy toy Steve are heading to see JD and the pack celebrating JD becoming the new packmaster.  Russell decides to join in these celebrations by opening a vein and sharing his blood with the pack who all lap it up excitedly …. except Martha.  Martha sits back with Emma which immediately draws Russell’s attention when she decides not to join in despite his personal invitation.  Russell decides to respond by taking Emma and giving him to Steve as a pet.  JD does try and protest only to realize what a stupid mistake he has made because Russell OWNS them now!  Silly dogs!!! Thus Steve and Russell leave with Emma much to the anguished screams of Martha. Hmmmmm I am guessing Luna is going to be none to happy about this little development!

Quick trip here to Fangtasia to check in with Pam and the crew and Tara is worried about stockpiling Tru Blood as the factories are all getting destroyed and things are about to get ugly.  Pam explains that the last thing Fangtasia wants to do is not serve the Tru Blood that they have so that their vampire patrons do not eat their human ones and when the Tru Blood is gone vampires will do what they have done for years.  Pretend and then feed discreetly in private!  Sadly there seems to be one flaw in those plans.  A Marilyn Manson looking vampire called Elijah who is sitting on Eric’s thrown openly feeding on a human.  When Pam confronts him Elijah tells her that he has been appointed as the new Sheriff and that drinks (as in humans) are on him.  Oh this isn’t going to be good.  Let’s hope Eric finds a way to escape.

Sadly that is not looking too good as the best laid plans have all gone wrong.  Molly and Eric have managed to subdue Nora and are about to leave with her but were trying to wait for Bill and Salome’s blood that he was meant to be bringing.  As Eric uses an unconcious Nora’s finger to open the elevator Bill arrives much to Eric’s relief but that relief is short-lived as the elevator doors open and there inside is  Salome complete with a whole contingent of guards.  Oh Bill you TRAITOR!!!! Ugh I can’t stand him!!! Him and his smug little look he shares with Salome.  STAKE THEM BOTH!

And so we have just 3 episodes to go.  The preview for which look awesome but so have they all.  With at least 2 of the storylines concluded I would normally be saying let’s hope for some bloodlust and craziness.  Praise Lilith. Kill the humans! But this would put me on Bill’s side and so I don’t think I can do it.  How about we stake Bill and then see how I feel?  Just a suggestion!  True Blood is once again trying to push the relevance of tolerance in today’s society as its main theme but to me the whole comparison with the KKK and messages there felt forced and too blatant. Perhaps now they have a more mainstream audience (with over 10 million fans) they feel that subtlety is no longer an option.  The messages more cryptically placed and hidden to me are far more provocative but so be it.  I sadly feel that boundaries are not being pushed when things feel so shoved down your throat but it will not stop my obsession or my love of the show.  It just makes for slightly sadder observations.

I will still be sitting there come Sunday waiting for 9pm and my weekly fix to come on and in 3 weeks time when the finale is over I will still be lamenting the fact that I have 9 months to fill with re-runs and net scouring for spoilers, forever a trubie!

V””V

Memorable Lines From Everybody Wants To Rule The World

  • Eric – “Prayer is a fairly new concept to me”
  • Eric – “Put the baby fangs away before you piss me off”
  • Eric – “I don’t speak techie”
  • Lafayette – “One fine ass motherfucker with new eyelashes”
  • Lafayette – “I ain’t Gmail for dead bitches – send your own Goddamn messages”
  • Eric – “We’d better get back to slaughtering people in the name of God”
  • Lafayette – “Dead folk – why you gotta be so cryptic”
  • Russell – “Did you think my blood was free … you silly silly dog!”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 01.37 – True Blood Terror (Video)
  • 01.45 – True Trivia : Other Supes
  • 01.51 – True Trivia : Other Supes
  • 01.56 – True Trivia : Other Supes
  • 05.14 – I Ain’t Whoopi In ‘Ghost’
  • 07.51 – A Brighter Future (Video)
  • 09.24 – A Real Pain (Video)
  • 09.34 – The Last Ghost Lady
  • 12.42 – Boundaries (Video)
  • 15.10 – Second Look : Jason’s Frame
  • 18.08 – Keep America Human (Video)
  • 19.28 – Now Playing : First One In The Car performed by The Wallflowers
  • 21.45 – Pack Rules
  • 22.10 – Now Playing : Ain’t Life Hell performed by Hank Cochran and Willie Nelson
  • 25.05 – What’s With The Pigs?
  • 25.44 – Shifting Pros and Cons : Fly On The Wall
  • 27.16 – What’s With The Pigs?
  • 28.13 – Actor Pigs (Video)
  • 31.24 – Eau De Sweetie
  • 32.09  Dragon Dressing
  • 33.28 – Second Look – Square Dancin’ Chic
  • 35.04 – Teacher’s Pet
  • 37.29 – Relive : Bar Brawls
  • 39.47 – Born Again (Vide0)
  • 42.36 – Diva Pig (Video)
  • 43.10 – Shifting Pros and Cons : Always Naked
  • 44.55 – Carrying A Torch (Video)
  • 45.10 – Right At Home (Video)
  • 46.57 – Now Playing : Acrobatica performed by Losers
  • 47.44 – New Sheriff In Town
  • 49.47 – Duelin’ ‘Dos
  • 52.02 – Now Playing : Walk To Georgia performed by Grant Langston
  • 52.31 – True Trivia: Alcide’s Dad
  • 52.36 – True Trivia: Alcide’s Dad
  • 52.41 – True Trivia : Alcide’s Dad
  • 55.42 – Now Playing : Everybody Wants To Rule The World performed by Care Bears On Fire
  • 55.59 – End Of An Era (Video)

Movie References, Bloodlust, & A Severe Case Of Book A.D.D V””V

As you may (or may not) have noticed,  most of my posts lately have been either reviews on either books, or the latest episodes of True Blood. Whilst I love writing those I felt today I needed to come back to what my blog was originally for.  My weird and random thoughts and musings, normally leaning towards the darker, vampyric side of my life, always leading down some obscure pathway that lets everybody know I have totally lost the map.  For those that only come to read the reviews – feel free not to bother reading any further :D.

So apart from my quite obvious obsession with all things vampire, if it is supernatural based there is a good chance I will give it a try, be it movie, book, or TV show.  It was purely by chance that I happened upon the show “Lost Girl” which is all about the Fae.  Now these aren’t your typical “Tinkerbell” or even True Blood type fairies.  These have a whole sub-culture all their own and I adore it (except for the wolfie fae ….. wish they hadn’t picked him for the main lead *sigh* but then you can’t have everything!).  Now last night my favorite character Kenzi (who is actually human) went undercover at a high school and when she met a bunch of bitchy mean girls she addressed them as “Heather, Heather, and Heather”!  (Check out a bit about my love of this movie in an earlier blog Chaos Is What Killed The Dinosaurs Darling!!!! V””V) This amused me for the rest of the show as anyone who has read previous entries will know I have a little obsession with that 80’s movie.  It got me to thinking how often my husband and I reference obscure little 80’s movies (and some not so obscure) in our everyday life.  And the answer was pretty often.  Movies today, in my opinion, just don’t open themselves up to that one classic quote, the one line that will forever stay with you….or in my case the whole suitcase in my brain that is FULL to overflowing with references that only a select few will understand or care about.

Which brings me to the bloodlust section of today’s musings.  No there really wasn’t any kind of link there I know but that is where this journey is going.  Actually there is a minor link, as movies today seem to try to impress with the sheer amount of blood and gore that they can get into 90 minutes with none of the “fear” that can actually be caused by a bit of suspense.  OK I will admit that was a stretch but oh well.  Bloodlust has been on my mind this week partly because of the recent events in True Blood but also with the books I have been reading and the obvious correlation between bloodlust and plain old lust.  one of the original deadly sins. From Laurell K Hamilton and Jeaniene Frost to the more subtle innuendos from Lestat in Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles, the connection, if you adore the vampires, is everywhere.

With erotica making a such a splash in the mainstream with the STILL ridiculously popular “Fifty Shades Of Grey” (Can ANYONE tell me what the deal is with that? … See previous musings … Fifty Shades Of Grey – My Thoughts – Warning Spoilers V””V, Pleasure, Pain, And The Fifty Shades Of My Darker Life V””V, and 50 Shades And My Seemingly Ever Increasing Desire To Lobotomize The Sheep!! V””V).  The only good thing to come out of it is Anne Rice has re-released her Sleeping Beauty trilogy so the world can actually see some real erotica …. let’s see how many of the sheep will actually read that.  My guess – probably NONE! Why? Because there aren’t a million people babbling on about how great it is.

Anyway back to where I was originally going before the ranting took the better of me, there is the obvious connection between the whole bloodlust from a vampire and lust in general (biting, blood, sex and death and a recurring theme in many places) but what about other forms of bloodlust.  Those say of a serial killer?  How many people out there watch a movie like Hannibal and think that it is romantic? Or going back to Heathers were desperately hoping that JD would succeed? Luckily for me, as I have mentioned on many occasions, I  have both a husband and a select group of friends that are not repulsed by my obvious, for want of a better term, true bloodlust.  Be it vampires or regular killers, movies, tv shows, or books, I write this knowing at least a few people out there will understand what I am trying to say.  They do not want to shine a light and take away all the darkness.  They understand that some of the most exciting things live there and do not want to be saved by true love, forgiveness, or any other of the salvation options that are all the rage.

And finally that brings me to my book A.D.D, although reading back over this it might be more accurate to call it just A.D.D in general as this is definitely one of the less focussed pieces I have written.  I think perhaps i left it too long and the thoughts in this crazy mass of firing neurons have just gone way out of control.  Pair that with an ever-increasing lack of sleep and you end up with this, severely crazy musings from a frazzled vampire obsessed mind.  Oh well so be it!

But back to the book thing.  Over the last 2 weeks I have noticed that at any one point I will have 2 or 3 books on the go.  Most unusual for me as I normally pick a book, read start to finish, and move on to the next one.  Now this is not actually all my fault as it started with me acquiring a couple of books on my Nook. One of my favorite pleasures is to read in the bath and with my propensity for dropping things, reading on the Nook is not an option and thus I started to have a “Nook read” and a “Bath read” which meant 2 books on the go at the same time.  Since then though things have gotten worse and I am like a magpie drawn to new shiny things.  It doesn’t matter what I am reading if another book catches my eye then I go straight to that.  Of course new books often have that effect anyway and with my wonderful husband earning $50 Barnes and Noble gift cards through work incentives the temptation is all to readily fulfilled.  The blame cannot solely lie there though as friends suggest things which I have to read immediately, I have a new book club that invited me called the “Booksluts” with their books of the month (Really could there be a more perfect name??) and then of course there is the library which I cannot possibly enter without checking out at least one book … and when they have 3 books right there on the shelf from the same series that I love … what is a girl to do?

Well for now this girl is going to pick up her latest purchase from yesterday and see what vampire adventures it leads her down …..

V””V

True Blood Season 5 Ep 8 Somebody I Used To Know Synopsis / Review V””V

Wow fellow True Blood fans, can you believe we are episode 8 already?  That means this season is 2/3 of the way OVER already.  These weeks are just flying past. Little note here for those that may be interested … this episode was directed by Stephen Moyer, the first time a True Blood cast member has picked up the directing reigns for an episode. Wonder if we will see more of them give it a try in the future.  For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet.  I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch so I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

So at the end of last week we had the vampires on their rampage and Eric getting a visit from Godric telling him everything is wrong.  Really Godric could you PLEASE just for once remember that you used to love all the carnage and go with that …. just for one episode … Oh that would be awesome!! But alas Alan Ball has other plans and it would seem that Eric is destined to be the voice of reason *sigh* but more on that later. 

This week actually picked up with Sam confronting the attacker at the hospital as Andy takes him into custody but not before the redneck tells Sam that they are everywhere.  Luna is having a total meltdown ,not coping at all and decides the best thing would be for them to go hunting the rednecks and see how they like it.  Personally I am with Luna here but Sam convinces her that he is going to the station and she should just rest while Deputy Kevin sits outside the door.  Hmmmmmm not convinced he would be a lot of good in the face of a real attack but there you go.  Luna is so disgusted by this idea that her meltdown turns into skinwalking and voila … we have Luna in a Sam Suit.   Oh much as I am not a shifter girl you KNOW this is going to be good 😀  Shifters I may not care for but Sam Trammell is one hell of an actor!

Luna tries repeatedly to just “shift” back but that isn’t working so she leaves, complete in Sam suit, much to the surprise and confusion of poor Kevin who is, it has to be said, definitely the worst guard ever as he just sits there are lets her/him wander off without checking the room despite the fact that he saw the real Sam leave earlier. He really is useless!

Over at the Authority headquarters (are they still really the Authority with their new agenda?) the vampires are returning from their night on the town and are still all high as kites, except poor Eric who just seems to be at that confused part after being out of it.  They tumble out of the elevator, mouths all bloody, worshiping the knowledge that they have seen, or so they believe, the blood goddess Lilith. All it all it looks like a messed up Mardi Gras celebration complete with all the beads and I have to confess it looks like fun!!

And so they sit around and discuss the new plan which seems to be generally Mainstreaming is out and feeding on humans is in.  They even send Steve out to procure a few dozen humans to have on hand for snacks including a baby for Nigel, because apparently Lilith wants him to eat a baby.  Eric at this point decides he has had enough fun for one night and leaves trying to get Bill to come with him but Bill declines. I wish that Eric was the one that was more on board with this new regime.  Perhaps Alan Ball is trying to get the true vampire fans to like him a little better although by setting Eric up to almost be a hero that may backfire.  I adore Eric but would love to see him embracing his true vampyric nature.  Someone needs to find spirit Godric and tell him to stop interfering!

Bill does show a brief moment of wavering when Salome invites him in for a late night snack which turns out to be the mother of a 4 month old tied to the bed.  We get a little flashback to when Bill’s daughter was dying and he didn’t turn her and that seems to be the final straw that breaks the camel’s back and feed on the young mother he does … and he enjoys it.

Back in Bon Temps Sookie is still trying to dump all her fairy light and manages to zap Jason (in the head so no damage done).  Jason convinces her that she doesn’t really want to be like everyone else and that he would give anything to be special.  Jason has really matured so much over the last few seasons but it is great to see he still comes up with the funniest lines in the show.

At Fangtasia Jessica is looking amazing and dancing away apparently trying to copy one of the girls on the poles. Perhaps she is after a new job?  Anyway as she is dancing what appears to be a fangbanger comes up to dance with her and after telling Jess that his blood tastes like a milkshake (what kind of milkshakes has HE been drinking one would like to know), the leave together with Jess having a very smug expression on her face. She certainly seem to be enjoying her new freedom.

Next up we have the moments I am sure all your furverts have been waiting for.  We get to see some naked Alcide action (although personally this is something I could definitely do without).  He is busy getting hot and heavy with Rikki (the female werewolf who is to be his second in the packmaster contest) and I suppose the whole point of this is supposed to show that werewolves like it rough … ish …. Well I don’t know.  Yes it was mildly more entertaining than having to watch Alcide and Debbie but give me a vampire anyday….and in the middle of it to have a whole “girlfriend” discussion …. SAD!

At redneck central, also known as some weird little shack out in the middle of nowhere, we find out where Hoyt was heading off to last week with his new little hate group buddies. He was being taken to get his surprise, which unsurprisingly, was a very pathetic looking Jessica, who found out the hard way that even if you are a vampire, going home with a complete stranger is probably not a good idea, as she has ended up bloody and chained with silver, her beautiful clothes ripped, and her cheeks stained with blood tears.  Poor Hoyt is obviously shocked, even more so when he realises that the plan is for him to kill her, or rather get rid of her because “she is already dead!” Even better they decide that they are going to lock Hoyt in there with her until he decides to do it.  Now obviously none of them have watched any movies EVER because we all know that when you say things like that nothing ever goes the way you want it to! I know it, you know it, but these idiots are obviously just too stupid to know it.

Sookie and Jason have decided to pay another visit to the fae nightclub to discover if there is anything they can do to learn the identity of the vampire that killed their parents.  Claude originally was saying that the fae don’t get involved with such maters but then one of the sisters opens her mouth to say there may be a way and we get to learn that Alan Ball has invented yet another fairy gift.  Hmmmm do you think they sit around saying … I am not sure what we can do about this problem … I know let’s just give the Fae another ability??   In this case the ability is that they can go back into people’s memories of a certain time at the place it happened so it is a field trip to the bridge and what looks like a casting circle that witches would use with everyone together holding hands to “share energy”.  Hmmmmm Sookie after what happened last time you were involved in these kind of circles you would really think that you would know better.

Sookie goes back into her mother’s memories but at some point during the flashback things change and she suddenly finds herself seeing things through the eyes of the attacking vampire rather than through her mothers.  Oh you know this is not going to be good.  Whilst we don’t get to see the actual vampire’s face we do see Claudine and she calls a name “Warlow” (?sp) just before she blasts him with her fairy light but not before he has managed to kill both of Sookie’s parents.  Now this blast actually knocks Sookie out of the circle (see I told you this circle idea was not a good one) and the fairies are saying that she shouldn’t have been able to link with a vampire.  So what does this mean?  Is it a side effect maybe of all the vampire blood she has consumed / been transfused with over the last couple of years?  Is it some weird quirk in her abilities that just happens to be there? Maybe that is why she seems to be always attracted to vampires.  Who knows.  knowing my luck Alan Ball will deem this fit to be another mystery than hangs forever unanswered and is just one of those things that is. Oh and Albert Einstein was a halfling (just like Sookie) .. Hmmm OK then!

Little sidebar here for book reader ….. Does anyone else think there may be a connection between the name Warlow and the Waldo in the book that was Queen Sophie Ann’s vampire that killed Hadley?  Could they be setting it up that QSA was involved all along? After all we know that she has sent Bill to do some spying and it seems to be a rather large coincidence that Claudine was already involved with the protection?  Just things that are running through my mind right now so thought I would share them .  I guess we will find out, or not, as things unfold.

At the redneck hideaway, left alone with Jessica, poor Hoyt just doesn’t know what to do.  It is obvious that he still loves her but she hurt him so badly.  Eventually we get a flash to the other room where one of the Milkshake redneck is waiting (and all alone … wonder where the other redneck losers went) and we hear a gunshot, which causes him to rush in and ask Hoyt if he did it, only to have Jessica spring from behind the door and break his neck. Good for Jessica.  Not so good for Jessica is it turns out that so much time has passed it is now the middle of the day and no way for her to leave and Hoyt heads off promising to come back with help.

Also out on the road is poor  Lafayette is heading home after his nasty adventure last week and his mouth looks so sore.  (Hmmmm anyone else ever wonder what happened to the awesome car that Eric gave him … did I miss something somewhere?) During his drive he find Jesus’ little medical kit along with his nametag, and inside the little kit is a vial of vampire blood so Lafayette is able to heal.  Even nicer is that as he heals Jesus appears in the car next to him and they are able to have a little moment together and whatever that moment was by the time Lafayette gets home he has his mojo back and then some.  It was so great to see him throwing out zingers like he used to.  Of course his visitors Arlene and Holly don’t seem so impressed.  They have come to ask him to perform a fake séance to convince Terry that the woman from Iraq has forgiven him and called off the curse.  Lafayette lets them know that his days of helping are OVER … unless they want to pay $300 which Arlene and Holly look none too impressed with and Lala closes the door.  Hilarious!!!

At the police station Andy is interrogating his suspect (With Sam standing right there… hmmmm yes no protocol in the world of Bon Temps apparently) and the idiot has decided that he isn’t going to rat out his friends.  Sam convinces Andy to leave them alone for a minute so that he can use some of his “techniques” to try and get answers.  Andy agrees and when he leaves Sam starts to get naked and then changes into a snake!! Awesome!! Oh and he get’s the information they need and discover that Jessica is in trouble.

At the front desk, while Andy is getting his coffee, in walks ….. SAM!!! Well obviously not Sam but Luna in her Sam suit.  Poor Andy! He just doesn’t know what to do.  But I have to pause here to give credit to Sam (The actor).  What an AMAZING job he does playing Luna playing him!! Flashbacks to him as Tommy playing him and the awesome job he did there but having 2 Sam’s in the same room for several scenes?? Genius!!! Kudos to the whole team for that one! And off they go, 2 Sams and an Andy to rescue Jessica!

When they get there they find that she is unharmed and just sitting with the dead milkshake guy (Reggie) on the floor and confused as hell about why there are 2 Sams and no Hoyt as Hoyt was supposed to be the one sending them to get help.  Sam (the Luna one) sniffs around and discovers that a woman has been there recently and who he describes sounds a little like Maxine apart from the smoking part but while they are working this out Luna Sam gets hit with the first of the bad side effects from the skinwalking.  Now we all remember I am sure what happened to Tommy but what isn’t clear is what the finite rules for skinwalking are.  All we know is that after you run a high fever and vomit blood. Oh and really what does it matter because Alan Ball isn’t really good at sticking to rules anyway.  Whatever the case Luna is not looking too good.

They head home and we get a very tender scene with Luna Sam lying on Sam Sam’s lap and Sam Sam trying to convince her that she isn’t going to die.  She shifts back to herself and seems for a second as if she will be alright but then the pain hits and she starts vomiting blood.  Guess we will have to wait until next week to find out if she is going to make it or not.

As night falls in full effect we head to Fangtasia and get to see the very annoying Tracy (From Tracy’s Togs) annoying Tara at the bar.  Turns out they used to go to school together and Tracy seems to have made it her life goal to just be as annoying and racist as hell (when she finds out Tara is a vampire she congratulates her on now being a member of 2 minorities).  She order s a drink and tells Tara she has given her the wrong one and makes a whole string of snide remarks all of which we see Pam (who looks STUNNING) listening in to.  As Tara is about to get well all Tara like with Tracy Pam rushes over and apparently tells Tara off and apologizes to Tracy but don’t worry, Pam has a plan.  Later we have Pam taking Tara downstairs for a little chat and we find that whilst in the bar Pam appeared to be siding with Tracy it was in fact all a front and Tracy is now a nice little blood whore, all chained up to the spinning contraption in the Fangtasia basement that hasn’t been seen being used for a while.  With a nice little glamour to turn Tracy into a completely willing Tara blood slave Pam’s work is done.  Did I mention I LOVE her??

Night fall apparently is also the time for the fight for Packmaster only JD has decided that they aren’t going to fight each other, or chase down an animal.  Instead he has kidnapped a local track star from the University and whichever of them catches and kills him first will be the new packmaster.  Well we all know Alcide won’t stand for that and so instead he steps down saying that he would rather forfeit than kill that kid.  Sadly JD has decided he is still going to hunt the boy down just because he can.  Lots more growling from Alcide and JD and then they both take off running into the woods after the poor scared track kid. JD gets there first but it is quickly Alcide to the rescue and the kid escapes safely.  The same cannot be said for Alcide though as JD beats the hell out of him and his life is only saved by Martha turning up and begging for it explaining that this is not for the best for the pack.  For whatever reason JD somehow agrees and all the wolves head off to celebrate leaving Martha and Rikki alone with the beat up Alcide.

Obviously at some point Arlene and Holly have decided that Lafayette’s time is worth the money, (and well let’s be honest here it isn’t like they have a whole lot of options open to them) because we get to see the séance complete with Terry and Patrick in attendance (tricked into attendance by being told that there was a fire).  The idea of just putting on a good show soon falls flat when Lafayette actually makes contact with the spirit in question and that spirit is not happy, and has no intention at all of forgiveness.  She does come up with an alternate plan though and that is that Terry will be left alone if he kills Patrick or Patrick can kill Terry.  Patrick obviously realises that things aren’t looking too good for him and he just takes off running!

Still trying to get home we see Hoyt on a road in the middle of nowhere and when a truck pulls up he says he is glad to see a friendly face, but then said face (we don’t know who but I am guessing one of his stupid vamp hating buddies) pulls a gun on him so we know he is in trouble.

Also in trouble (but somewhat of her own making) is Sookie who is drying her hair when she gets a not too friendly visit from the vampire (who seems to be masquerading as Freddie Krueger in his spare time).  The vampire appears as a spirit like face out of thing air and lets her know that he is coming for her.  Well that isn’t going to be anything good! I am guessing he doesn’t want to go out for dinner!

With night also comes more planning at Vampire headquarters.  Eric is trying to fulfil Godric’s wishes and get through to Nora but Nora is way too far gone.  She is convinced that they are on the path of Lilith and that Godric was mad at the end.  Now I was hoping with those two together might end up with a little more episode one type action but no such luck.  Poor Eric looks so sad at what Nora says *sigh* … I really wish he was more on board with the whole blood lust thing.

And to finish the episode we have a meeting of the remaining vamps who are working out the best way to squash the mainstreamers.  Russell is more interested in pursuing Steve than paying attention to the meeting much to Salome’s annoyance.  Russell is hilarious! He is really only interested in what he wants to do.  Eric seems to have decided on the keep your friends close but your enemies closer kind of role (possibly because they would just kill him otherwise although I don’t really understand why they haven’t already at this point … not that I am complaining) and is sitting in on the meeting when Bill comes up with the plan to destroy all the Tru Blood factories (apparently there are only 5) and that will force the mainstreamers to revert to their vampyric ways.  All the vampires at the table are thrilled by this so-called genius idea but Eric is not.  Will be interesting to see how this ends up playing out.

Overall not a bad episode.  I love the idea of the vampire going wild and treating all the humans as food but am not loving the fact that Bill is being portrayed as more vampire than Eric.  I suppose it fits in with him being weak and a sheep.  I am still bored with the whole wolf story but have to say that the shifter story this week with the skinwalking I did find entertaining and very well shot.

I am still loving Russell, the bad boy that he is and I am adoring the way that Pam is being portrayed.  The whole Terry thing that was annoying me was less annoying this week only because of how things with Lafayette were handled.  I love seeing Lala like this and hope that he remains this way for the rest of the season at least!

I would like to say I was curious about the whole new Sookie / vampire connection but honestly I am over the whole fae thing.  Perhaps the vampire connection will provide some interest but I am not holding my breath.

With only 4 episodes left I have the feeling that yet again we are going to be left with more questions than answers and I have to wonder if that is because Alan Ball himself hasn’t even worked out where he actually wants this to go ……………

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Memorable Lines From Somebody I Used To Know

  • Jason – “I’m fine …. you got me in the head”
  • Russell – “God has the most beautiful tits I have ever seen”
  • Russell – I have never been called devout. But watching Lilith shoot out of a blood pool while I sucked down a bride to the dulcet strains of ‘You Light Up My Life,’ well, praise Lilith! Praise Jesus! Praise Moses’ cock! I am born again!”
  • Andy – “I know you got friends ….. dipshits like you grow in bunches”
  • Andy – “I want names, I want addresses, and if I don’t get them, my tazer’s gonna ask your nuts to the big dance.”
  • Jessica – “I wanted to love you, I even prayed for it to come back, but it just didn’t”
  • Lafayette – “Hooker, I ain’t in the helping business no more, I’m in the ‘Fuck off while I smoke a blunt’ business, and business is about to pick way the fuck up.”
  • Jason – ” I don’t give a twirly fuck about your elders”
  • Tracy – “Now you are a member of 2 minorities”
  • Pam – ” I apologize .. Tara is new .. and stupid”
  • Pam – “You don’t know me that well …. My mad face and my happy face are the same.”
  • Eric – “I have loved you for almost 600 years”
  • Lafayette – “Terry Baby You Gots To Kill Patrick”

 

HBO Go – Extras

  • 00.04 – A ‘True Blood’ First
  • 02.13 – Shifter Temper (Video)
  • 02.23 – Skinwalking 101
  • 02.43 – Skinwalking 101
  • 03.03 – Skinwalking 101
  • 04.45 – Best Night Ever (Video)
  • 07.35 – Becoming Luna (Video)
  • 07.53 – Second Look : Redneck Vogue
  • 07.59 – Jessica’s Vlog : What To Do
  • 08.06 – Now Playing : Beneath Contempt performed by Flesh Field
  • 09.40 – Russell Edgington : Role Model (Video)
  • 10.56 – A Dangerous Drug (Video)
  • 11.02 – Now Playing : Smokestack Lightening performed by Howlin’ Wolf
  • 12.47 – The Real Salome (Video)
  • 16.34 – The Greatest Gift (Video)
  • 19.21 – Hoyt’s Anger (Video)
  • 20.36 – Lafayette’s Ride
  • 22.19 – True Story : Second Coming
  • 23.54 – True Secret : Cobra Improv
  • 24.44 – Double Trouble
  • 27.45 – You Fucked My Best Friend
  • 28.58 – Doomed From The Start (Video)
  • 29.17 – Relive : Bad Breakups from Bon Temps
  • 32.19 – First Draft : Vampire Sookie
  • 33.06 – Claude-who?
  • 33.53 – Now Playing : Die Slow performed by Health
  • 34.04 – What’s She Doing?
  • 36.02 – Racist White Trash (Video)
  • 36.19 – True Story : Werewolf Chic
  • 40.44 – The Original Godric
  • 42.51 – True Secret : Seeing Double
  • 44.48 – Vamp Vindication (Video)
  • 47.37 – Eternal Optimist (Video)
  • 48.40 – Witches vs Mediums
  • 51.49 – My Way Or The Highway (Video)
  • 52.40 – Who ARE You? (Video)