True Blood Season 7 Ep 8 – “Almost Home” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Wow only 3 episodes left including this one.  AHHHHHHH As much as this season is continuing with the “filler episodes” (seriously you are pretty much running out of time here … LITERALLY) I am still so sad this this is ending.  I have the feeling that the finale is going to kick some major ass and I will just be yelling obscenities at the screen for several minutes :(.  On the plus side there were ZERO shifter mentions / issues/ references this week 😀 So that is something to celebrate lol.

Right then everybody ready because here we go!   Again this week can be split up into just a few little boxes as other than a couple of proper plot points this week was just full of things that are (I hope) going to go somewhere.   We start with Sarah or “Numi” at the camp knowing they are all outside waiting to kill her.  She is talking to her imaginary Jason and he agrees that it is time to die.  Out she goes ready to take on death and claiming that she will come back as “The Princess Of Peace” … ummmm OK crazy bitch ….  and Eric almost delivers it to her (seriously lets blame the Hep V for addling his brain THIS much …. I mean DRINK FIRST …. Cure … remember???) but Pam grabs one of the guns armed with a wooden bullet and threatens to kill herself if he doesn’t cure himself and hand her over.  Thankfully he does and we get a shot of the powerful Eric yelling at the sky with some overly ridiculous long fans but hey … HE IS CURED!!!!! Wooooo Hooooo!!!! And Sarah is tossed to the floor to be swept up by the corporation and the opening credits roll!

One of the main stories this episode is Sookie still desperate to save Bill.   We see them relaxing (and we see way too much of Bill and his nasty veins) and they are chatting about the past.  Boring boring boring!  Was this meant to be a recap for us? Because those of us that watch a lot know this … and we also don’t care.  The only possibly relevant part of this conversation could be that Sophie Ann wanted to breed Sookie.   That is 2 baby references in regard to Bill in 2 weeks …. plus we think we are going to get through the whole episode with out a “Bill Flashback” and technically I suppose we do because the one they show 5 minutes from the end turns out to be Sookie and not Caroline holding a baby … which is not a baby but a bundle of darkness. Hmmmmmm I assume there is a reason for this but I have no idea what it is and I am not really sure that as Bill is involved I actually care.

Perhaps the most annoying (and pointless time filling crap) this episode is the whole Tara chapter which does at least finally gets closed once and for all.  Lafayette and Lettie Mae are still digging random holes in their old houses’s garden (while the confused family just stand there and look on …… I am assuming at this point if you live in Bon Temps pretty much anything goes???).  The Reverend comes along to try and talk them out of doing anymore but instead gets convinced to join them on the V trip and James turns up and supplies the blood.  I adore James!  I wish they were doing more with his character this season!!!! He seems to have been  relegated to V supplier :(.   Anyway ….. whole bunch of time spent with the Lala, Lettie Mae and the Rev high as kites and following Tara through a pointless flashback to an old birthday where we learn that Lettie Mae was abused by Tara’s dad.  He freaked out because he couldn’t find his gun (turns out Tara had hidden it) …. Tara has the opportunity to shoot him but doesn’t and she buries the gun in the back yard and he leaves them forever.   That is what they are hunting for.  The gun.   OK ANYONE have any guesses as to why of ALL the things they could have come up with THIS was the storyline they went with.  UGH YAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Gun found Tara and her mom say goodbye and she heads off and is supposedly at peace now.   WASTE OF SCREEN TIME!!!!!

In more exciting news Jason is over at the Fortenberry house with Hoyt and Bridget as they sort through all the things and there is a fair amount of tension going on especially as Bridget mentions having babies.  Hoyt is not in a “baby” place and apparently doesn’t know if he ever will be.  Poor Jason is just sitting there when he gets a text, complete with pictures, showing that Violet has Adelyn and Jessica all tied up and telling him he needs to come.   Obviously he rushes straight to the car but there is a problem…. Bridget doesn’t want to stay and fight with Hoyt so she gets in the car too.  Hmmmmm weird!!!  Jason calls Andy but he is too far out so he is rushing to the rescue … and apparently Bridget is going with them because she won’t get out the car!

Jason leaves Bridget in the car with a gun full of Silver bullets (which is not too thrilled about but hey she was the one that insisted on going …. at least she didn’t insist on going INTO the house).  As Jason explores there is some beautiful music playing (I need to track this down!) and he is jumping at all the statues placed everywhere as if Violet doesn’t already know that he has arrived lol.  She of course pounces on him and he doesn’t stand a chance and before he knows it he is he is gagged and restrained and learning about the fates that are about to end all the prisoners, described in glorious detail as Violet swans around a room she clearly loves and has used many times in the past.

Wade is going to have all his fingers crushed and then his head crushed in a vice while Adelyn watches.   Next will be Adelyn who will get to experience this awful claw looking device called “The Breast Ripper” which will be heated up and then literally grasp and tear all the flesh from her chest and the she will slowly drain her dry. Jessica will be next and Violet correctly works out that Jessica was a virgin where she was turned and so her punishment will be to be fucked by a red hot metal dildo every 10 minutes for days.  Wow … Violet really isn’t happy!   Before we can find out what fate was in store for Jason, Violet tells us was that all she wanted was for Jason to worship her for the perfect creature that she was …. and then Hoyt appears and shoots her in the back and it is bye bye Violet.  Another abrupt ending with a lot less drama than hoped for :(.

So Violet is dead, Hoyt is the hero and the prisoners are safe.  You can see Jessica looking at him in a whole new light again.  Bridget is sitting with Jason and Hoyt and Jessica are chatting and there are just sparks everywhere.  I wonder if they will unglamour Hoyt somehow.  Hmmmmmm  This could get interesting but they need to hurry up! There are only 2 episodes to sort this out!! Damn you HBO!   Andy and Holly arrive and are thrilled that Hoyt saved the day.  Yay … Go Hoyt!!   It is shame that he won’t know that he killed the vampire that killed his mother.  I hope he gets to find this out ..especially with them having preached the whole “circle of everything” ….  although then he would know that Maxine had definitely gone to the dark side and in that moment Violet was the good guy ….. kinda …. fun that it is all so mixed up!  Sometimes True Blood can make things interesting after all :D.

Later we see Hoyt head to the Compton mansion and he is starting to leave Jessica a note and a brown bag (ummmm this all looks rather familiar ………) when Jessica hears him and invites him in. In the bag is some of his blood that he had drained at the clinic because he is “clean” and thought it would help with Bill.  Awwwww now if we could just fix that pesky glamour issue ……. He says that him and Bridget will be around for a couple of days before they leave back for Alaska and we all know in the True Blood world that leaves time for ANYTHING to happen :D… and I am sure it will!

The third and final main plot line this week is that now they have Sarah they are going to synthesize her blood and create New Blood (Nu Blood?) to cure everyone.  Eric and Pam are wondering what the delay is and they get a little lesson in how this business is going to work.  Turns out it only took a couple of hours to synthesize and perfectly replicate Sarah’s blood. The thing is they don’t want it perfect.  If it is perfect then everyone will be cured and that doesn’t create a “Demand and Supply” cycle.  We learn that Gilette COULD produce a razor that would never dull …. but they don’t ….. Energizer could make an everlasting battery … but they don’t.  What they want to create is something that will keep them healthy as long as they are drinking the product and urges Pam and Eric to just stay quiet about it.

As Pam and Eric do love their money this is not as issue at first ….. but Eric just HAS to go and let Sookie know that he is OK now *sigh* and you know what that means! Yep she sees that he is cured and she wants the same for Bill! UGH!!!  Even worse you can see that Eric wants to give it to her …. but he can’t.  He tells her that dawn is coming and he will return the following night with answers and takes off into the sky leaving a very frustrated Sookie standing in the doorway.

Well we all know Sookie isn’t going to wait …. especially as she doesn’t believe that Bill may HAVE until the following evening and so she comes up with a plan and that plan involves jumping in her truck and driving out to Fangtasia.  Yes AWESOME plan Sookie!  She is greeted by the Yokomoto guards and she convinces them that she needs to see Eric Northman but that does not go down well overall.  Luckily she is smart enough not to argue when Eric calls her a Fangbanger and pretends to glamour her.  She does overhear cowboy leaders thoughts that he hopes that they are not betraying him and something seems off and she also hears that the cure is in the basement.  She goes through her little pretending routine (with a series of absolutely ridiculously over exaggerated nods and head shakes)   and leaves Fangtastia but only to drive as far as the back entrance where she sneaks back in and find Sarah in the basement.  Finally she does something smart and leaves Sarah but we all know when she leaves she plans on returning that night with Bill to fix him!

Night falls and cowboy boss is not feeling too trusting and tells Eric and Pam he is going out and suggests they stay in the club … with some of his guards.  They don’t object but we soon see them heading down to Sarah and Pam quite rightly points out that they are going to do something stupid aren’t they!  Love Pam! Strangely the guards don’t seem to be interested in anything they are doing unless they are trying to leave (or I assume leave with Sarah) so they get to visit alone.  As they are deciding exactly what to do Sookie arrives back with Jessica helping to bring Bill and they all stand there until Eric tells them to hurry up and get it over with so they can all get out of there before they get caught.  There is just one problem …. Bill has decided not to drink …….

UGH I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! …. Roll credits ……. (of course)

And now we wait until next week and the penultimate episode. Oh it has come around so fast :'(.    The big question remains who will make it to the end? Things have totally taken a turn from the beginning of the seasons and all the bets have changed.  Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!




Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Violet – taken out in unceremonious fashion by a bullet in the back by Hoyt

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Maxine Fortenberry

S7 Ep 8

My Favorite Lines From “Almost Home”

  • Hoyt – “From my perspective it is all fucking awful!”
  • Pam – “Why the fuck aren’t we already printing money.”
  • Eric “The shorter the half life the greater the profit! ”
  • Violet – “So you do have the balls to be loyal to at least one woman!” 
  • Violet– “All I wanted was for you to worship me for the perfect creature that I am ”
  • Pam – “We are doing something stupid aren’t we”. 
  • Pam – “Of course it’s happening fast it’s Sookie.  Everything she wants she has to have now!”
  • Pam – “Drink the bitch and leave before we all die!”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 5 – “Lost Cause” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….and we are halfway through already 😦 ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Well I have to say, after last week’s enjoyment, this week was definitely not as good for me BUT it did have it’s moments and they are definitely setting up for something big …… “Good Big” or “Bad Big” … honestly? who the hell knows with this show but the twists and turns just keep on coming.

We start this week back at Fangtasia and Eric and Pam setting up to depart to hunt for the elusive Sarah Newlin.   Willa is none to thrilled with this plan and says (after a huge Mommy and Daddy issue rant) she has information that she will give them IF Eric releases her.  At this point I can only assume that Eric just doesn’t really care that much about Willa because he does it.  Me, personally, I would have had Eric laugh and just command her to tell him as he commanded her to go with them last week.  That little maker trick never gets old for me….. BUT this does allow Pam and Eric to road trip alone …… so be it!  Willa informs them about Sarah’s hidden vamp sister so off to Dallas our intrepid vamps go, courtesy of Anubis airlines and their nifty travel coffins (although as my husband pointed out … it is still NIGHT when they left…. could they not get in the coffins at the airport just before they fly???) ….. Well if they had we would have missed Ginger and her screaming!  She is none to thrilled by this turn of about yelling that she has been Eric’s sex slave for FIFTEEN YEARS …But without the sex!!!  She asks if they know what a sex slave is without the sex …. and Pam (LOVE HER) says .. A SLAVE!! Ha!! Poor Ginger.  She demands that Eric at least has sex with her before they leave but Eric begs off claiming he is infected to which Ginger replies SHE IS TOO!!! Ooooh Ginger that isn’t good 😦 but as to what relevance that will have we don’t find out this week as the last we see of her is her being unceremoniously dumped off the travel coffin as she screams after Eric. Could that be the last time we get to hear the now infamous Ginger screaming? Guess we will have to wait and see …. Roll opening credits!

The episode picks up where it then spends most of the rest of the hour.  In Sookie’s house.  She is feeling lost and alone and spies what we assume is Alcide’s leather jacket on the chair and she finds Lafayette and James waiting for her. Lala puts her to bed and assures her that he and James will take care of the house and make it respectable for Jackson arriving the next day.  Sookie sleeps right through to the next evening but when she comes downstairs things aren’t quite what she would expect.   Everything is set up for a PARTY!  Yes you read that right!  Jackson and Jenny (well Jenny really) have been prepping all day and they plan on having the whole town over to “celebrate” Alcide’s life rather than “mourn” his passing.  Sookie doesn’t look too impressed but when Bill turns up with flowers (because he had no alcohol at his house which was required as per the invite) she changes her mind and goes to get all dressed up. 

Lettie Mae is annoying as ever and wants to go to the party but the Reverend is smart and knows there will be booze and vamp blood there so it is a no go for Lettie Mae.  That doesn’t stop her though as she doses him up with Benedril (allergy meds) to put him to sleep she can go and do whatever the hell she has it into her crazy head this week needs to be done.

At Sookie’s the party is in full swing an even Bill is dancing … if you can call it that (definitely debatable).  The girls that escaped the Hep V Vamps are having  a blast (except Nicole who is pregnant and can’t drink and seems a little put out by all the weird behavior …. we find out later she is a LOT put out by it all….. isn’t it about time she got killed off …. she’s annoying and you know her and Sam won’t be living HEA) ….. anyway sidetracked … so yes everyone is partying including Jane Bodehouse and that sets Bill off into one of several “Civil War Flashbacks”.   

Now Bill flashbacks (for the most part) are boring and annoying at the best of times but at least normally there is some kind of point that I can fathom out from them.  This weeks flashbacks all seem to center around the same point.  Bill didn’t want to be a part of the Civil War.  He didn’t want to fight, he knew the South was going to lose, and he was more interested in helping the slaves.  UMMMMMM WHAT??????????  So this is a whole new backstory for Bill after SIX SEASONS with NO HINT that he was not a firm believer fighting for the South.  In fact we have been lead over and over to respect what a “Fine Southern Gentleman War Hero” he was and NONE of this rubbish has been entertained.   We see one of the slaves he befriended and was trying to help escape get shot, we see his wife desperately trying to support him and convince one of their *Friends* (fellow noble at least) not to kill him and instead he has to enlist.   All very strange and pretty seemingly pointless and just taking up air time.  I am assuming they are going to somehow link this back to the “Hopeless Hep V War”???? that they are now fighting but UGH definitely wasted air time in my opinion.  The only link so far is that each of the flashbacks has had the ancestor of a current character triggering them.  Blah!

In the middle of the party we stop for a little memorial speech from Jackson which I suppose was nice but really should have been at a funeral.  He says that Sookie was worth it otherwise Alcide wouldn’t have fought for her,  Once we get through that Lettie Mae turns up and Lala tries to get her to leave but she just wants to talk and Sookie lets her (because Sookie is just always soooo nice …. personally I would be on the “get the hell out of my house platform” ) and so we get her remembrance speech about Tara … which STILL ends up pretty much being about her!  Ugh will someone PLEASE kill her already.  I have been over her storyline since season 1 and things haven’t improved. 

Jessica and Andy have a talk outside and Andy makes Jess realize that she is making it harder on him by constantly punishing herself because it won’t let him move on.  When she agrees to help he then says that he is going to propose to Holly …. right there at the party! Now really anywhere else this would probably be a little inappropriate but here it just kinda worked.  We ended up with a really sweet scene…… Sookie let’s Andy use Nan’s ring (which apparently technically was left to Jason but Violet starts by being nice … she doesn’t need a ring …. but then shows her true colors asking “that’s it??” which everyone ignores and is the completely OPPOSITE reaction to Jessica who is gushing away ….. hmmmmmm that isn’t good ) … and off we go for a proposal.  Definitely cute right down to Jason dropping a cushion on the floor for Andy to kneel on that everyone around just ignores.  Even the proposal is done in typical Andy fashion with Holly working it out and saying Yes and then Andy getting flustered and saying she has to wait for him to ask.  Loved it.  BUT my favorite bit was Jason.  He sees Adelyn and Wade and tells them that he doesn’t know if they are fucking or not but it is going to have to stop … right now.   AWESOME!!!! Poor kids looked mortified :D.   Jessica finally looks happy and James wants to take advantage of the moment but Jess wants to stay and party and calls James a wet blanket.  Uh oh … We all know where that is leading.

Sookie is not coping so well with “this much living” and goes upstairs with Arlene for a nice little heart to heart where Arlene says that at night she used to wear Terry’s jacket and pretend it was him.  Uh huh!! Suddenly the jacket at the beginning makes sense….. some more continuity.  Well done writers! We see Jackson lurking outside listening ….. which makes no sense at the time but all will become clear at the end.   Arlene and Sookie are drunk and return the to party and we see Keith again.  Remember Keith … the vamp that saved Arlene? Well there is obviously chemistry there and he references the lovely sexy dreams she has been having.  Hmmm we didn’t get to see them… oh wait yeah … I don’t care.   It was obvious they were going to have a little thing so they might as well get on with it …. but not this week.    

Lafayette goes outside to talk to James and well I am pretty sure everyone can guess what happens next.  Damn those two are so cute together but ummmmm James on the bottom???? I did NOT see that coming.  Totally figured it would be the other way round …. hmmmmmmm lots of thought about that over night and it is STILL bothering me.  Guess James is more of a sub than I pegged him for.  Shame.  Makes him less hot in my book *sigh* ….. oh well …….  Back to the story though and the worst possible outcome happens …… Jessica catches them … full on at it … IN THEIR CAR!! Oh Jessica … really??? What did you expect …. you have been ignoring him for MONTHS now …. but Jessica runs into the house … right near Jason and gets him to rescind James’s invitation leaving him stuck outside.  Jess runs upstairs and Violet gives Jason permission to go after her. Ummmmm not your brightest move there Violet I must say!  

Lafayette joins them a couple of minutes later and points out and that she needs to let him be with someone who loves him if she doesn’t.  Fair enough but we know this is going to cause problems later …….  Jessica and Jason …. alone …. again ….. hmmmmm

Sookie goes looking for Bill and is wandering around with her drunken reduced inhibitions allowing her to “hear” all the nice things people are thinking at the party…. she finds him outside and they share a moment and Bill is wondering about the whole “friends” thing.  This was not done in his time and if we are honest we all know that he loves her.  I am torn because I almost think they belong together (as much as Bill has annoyed me the last few seasons) ….. the last few episodes I see glimpses of the S1 relationship that I loved…. maybe I am getting soppy because the end is so near and I am not quite ready to say goodbye despite the total train wreck it has at times become *sigh*.   OK enough of that (I blame the music) ……. back to the story ……. so Bill goes home and Sookie returns to the party  ……

Just in time to find Lettie Mae who is thinking about Willa and blood and seeing Tara. See we all knew she should have just been thrown out when she first turned up. She NEVER has good motives and she STABS WILLA through the shoulder with a serving knife!! CRAZY BITCH!!! Lafayette comes to which the crazy Lettie Mae away while everyone tries to defuse the now fanged out vampires and are succeeding pretty well until Nicole (UGH did I mention I can’t stand her) get’s up and points out that everyone there is nuts and that “normal” people don’t carry on like this in other towns.   Maybe someone should give her the past 6 seasons to sit through and she would see that really, in the grand scheme of things, this is pretty mild.  Ship her off somewhere Sam …. we all know you have TERRIBLE taste in women!!  She is no good for you .. baby or no baby!!! Possibly the funniest reaction is Jenny (Jackson’s bit of stuff laughing in the corner at it all) … redneck trash to the end that one :D.  So Nicole takes off to go home with Sam and Violet offers to make sure they get home safely.

Now we have Jason and Jessica alone in a room … AND Violet out of the house …. so no prizes for guessing what happens next!! Yes Jessica and Jason are back on …. well at it anyway.  Sex in a chair and they must still have the no full nudity clause for Jessica because we are still not getting a topless shot of her.  Sorry guys :(.  Violet returns while they are in full swing and we are all waiting for the inevitable fireworks and fight ……. but they don’t come! Ummmmm what???  Excuse me???? Violet, after all her threats etc is just going to walk away … Ummmmmmm OKAY????    There has to be more going on that this!  (We actually see in the previews for next week she has decided to fight fire with fire but personally I would prefer fireworks …… bring on the fight!!!) …… sooooo there you have it ….. Weird! 

Away from the party (Which yes I told you took up basically the WHOLE episode),  you have the other (more interesting) storyline of Eric and Pam and the hunt for Sarah Newlin.  They arrive in Dallas and find Amber Mills (Sarah’s sister) and discover she too is a victim of Hep V with the tell tale black veins everywhere.  We learn that Jeremy (Her vampy boyfriend that turned her) has already died and she is just waiting for the same fate but she is happy to take Sarah with her and tells them that Sarah is here in Dallas and will likely be at an upscale political Gala where her parents plan to attend … and Eric and Pam plan on being there!

They are getting ready for the Gala and Pam is all dressed up like a “replublicunt” HA!!! when she tells Eric to strip so he can get ready ….. and we see that his Hep V has spread.  He is now in what they call “Stage 2” (this week anyway .. they are REALLY making these Hep V rules up as they go along) and there is another amazing Eric and Pam moment where he tells her she has to accept he is going to die.  I’m with you Pam!!! Don’t accept it!!! Scriptwriters can find a way to make this right!!! DAMNIT!!!!!  Eric has Pam cover up the ones that will be visible but we don’t get to see Eric’s outfit until the Gala and oh it is worth the wait!!! Cowboy Eric!!! Too Funny!!! Oh it reminds me of Season 2 ….. back in Dallas again … the good parts of S2…. not the weird crazy egg ritual / meat tree type parts lol. 

Pam and Eric embark on their mission to find Sarah via her parents and have made it into the Gala but Pam thinks all the women look the same so is unamused at having to find the mother.  Eric glamours the father but he knows nothing ….. meanwhile we see Sarah find her mother in the ladies room and her mother is not too thrilled to see her.  It doesn’t really matter though because while all this is going on the Yokomoto Samari crew (also known as the Yukuza) are back and are taking out EVERYONE at the party.  Seriously these are the worst group of hired security guards at this party EVER!  One of them doesn’t even have his gun pulled as it is all going down. He deserves to get shot.  Then again they are not discriminating ….. if you are there, and in the way, you are dead.  Kill all the Republicans seems to be the plan of the day for them.  We see Sarah’s father get shot in the head as he doesn’t know where Sarah is (Eric has disappeared at this point) and then we see the Yukuza head towards the bathrooms.  They chase Sarah and her mother and it looks like her mother is about to have a heart attack so Sarah leaves her and not a moment too soon as the Yukuza round the corner and shoot the Mom a few times so no need to worry about the heart attack.  

Sarah runs right into Eric who grabs her by the throat in her moment of panic.  Suddenly the yukuza are right there, the same group that killed his beloved Sylvie so after dropping Sarah he stabs them with their own swords and then rips his teeth out ….no literally …. hand in face and pulls out his whole jaw as the guy dies and walks down the hallway.  AWESOME!!!!! However, fun as that is I don’ think this will be the end of that battle …. to be continued (There were a LOT of those Yukuza guys there)

Back in Bon Temps and the party is over and Sookie heads up to bed to find the jacket from earlier laid out waiting for her.  AHA! So THAT was why Jackson was lurking around there.  Bless …. I suppose that’s quite sweet really.  So Sookie curls up in that and cries herself to sleep while over in the Compton manor Bill is taking a bath …. I know right …. random much? So he gets out and wipes the video and the music is cued up and we are all waiting …. Will Sookie suddenly be behind him …. will it be some bad guy waiting to kill him, Well????? NOPE!!! Worse!!!! Right in the center of his chest we see it ….. the markings of the start of Hep V!!! AHHHHHHHHHH  Now at this point the ONLY person I can remember Bill feeding off recently is Sookie??? What am I missing here???? UGH!!!! Annoying …… lots of things to ponder … well I suppose it takes my mind off of why James was on the bottom ………..

And now we wait until next week!!! On the plus side I have to say I am LOVING the use of the season 1 character soundtrack this season.  It feels right to me and I adore it although it almost pushes home the finality of it and that makes me sad.  Only 5 more episodes and I have no idea what they have in store…. but obviously the whole Hep V thing in our main characters is about to get upped to a while new level.   Who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!



Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (lot’s of death but none of it main cast)

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Maxine Fortenberry

Eric and Sarah

My Favorite Lines From “Lost Cause”

  • Pam  (To Amber) – ”I like her …. I like you” … Amber – “is it alright if I haven’t made up my mind about you yet”  Pam “Yeah .. I really like her!”
  • Eric – ”You don’t know us sweetheart – we can be assholes”
  • Violet- “I have had about 100 boyfriends die on me over the years and I remember how painful the first ones were”
  • Jackson – ”You can’t die a hero if you don’t have a righteous cause” 
  • Jason – “I don’t know if you all are fucking or not but if you are it is going to have to stop … right now
  • Pam – “Oh My God …… I’m a Republicunt!!!!!”
  • Sookie – “You might wanna dial down your sexy a notch” 
  • Arlene  – “I have to go make tinkle ….. because you know … I am a human!”
  • Sookie – “Thank you for seeing me the way I can’t see myself sometimes”
  • Pam – “How??? All these bitches look the same???”

True Blood Season 5 Ep 5 Let’s Boot and Rally Synopsis / Review V””V

Greetings and Salutations fellow True Blood fans!!  Can you believe we are almost half way through Season  already???  Insanity!!! So without further ado let’s get on to this week’s Episode 5 – Let’s Boot and Rally and what went on! (For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet.  I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines)

At the end of last week’s episode we left a very drunk Sookie and slightly less drunk Alcide getting hot and heavy and that is where tonight’s episode starts off.  Now all you furverts out there I am sure you would  have LOVED to have seen some wolfie action but for me what happened next was far more entertaining! Whilst they do in fact make it to the bedroom, Alcide looks at Sookie and says I have waited so long for this, to which Sookie gives him a longing look ….. and then vomits all over his feet!  Oh I laughed so hard I had tears!!!!! FANGTASTIC!!!!  Even better, Eric and Bill appear in the doorway just in time for Eric to comment on how well Alcide treats a lady!! LOVE IT!!!!

They head downstairs for a nice little “chat” and the plan seems to be Sookie looking inside Doug’s head (the parking lot attendant that works for Alcide) to see if she can force her way past the glamour and discover who in fact freed Russell.  Sookie is not convinced she can do it and all 3 males decide they are Alpha which provides a cutish moment with still semi drunk Sookie peeking through her fingers and seeing them all just barking at each other which causes her to have a fit of giggles and say the line that has been floating around the previews for weeks …. A 3000 year old vampire wants to suck my blood …. must be Thursday! … which would have been funnier if she had said Sunday but whatever.  And off our little search party goes …….

On the other side of Bon Temps poor Lafayette is not coping too well with the demon inside him.  he is freaking out that he could have killed Sookie and decides the best course of action is to talk to all his little religious figures.  Sadly for him they all decide now is a good time to talk back and they don’t have anything encouraging to say so Lafayette smashes them all to the floor and stomps on them telling that he is a good person (possibly not the best way to prove this) and he continues stomping and ranting until the pieces are just too small to answer back.  He pleads with Jesus to give him a sign because he needs some help but believe me he may regret asking for a sign from Jesus late this episode!

Out in the middle of nowhere Terry and Patrick are still being held captive by the crazy guy in the hole and Terry realizes that maybe this trip was not such a great idea.  Really?  You think so Terry?? I could have told you that BEFORE you left but then I watched the spoilers :D.  We get to see more flashbacks as to what happened and long story short (as this storyline is boring me) is that there is a fire demon curse called an IFrit which was called by one of the women they killed as she lay crying over her son.  Terry admits that he believes in it too and Brian releases him and Patrick but Patrick thinks it is plan by terry and promptly knocks Brian out and ties him to a chair despite Terry’s pleas.  Of course as soon as Patrick and Terry leave the IFrit appears and burns Brian to death and you know it is going after Terry and Patrick next.

Now Jason and Andy as you may recall got “Fairy zapped” at the tail end of last week’s episode and we start to see what this may have meant as Jason “Wakes Up” wearing some very sexy He Man pajamas on Christmas Day with his parents and a very young Sookie.  The facade soon fades though as they are eating breakfast and his parents necks start bleeding from obvious vampire bites. When Jason mentions something his mother suggests he might rather have sex to make him feel better at which point Jason’s cell phone rings in the “real world” and wakes him up. It is Rosie about work and we get to see that Jason is naked as he goes to get ready for work.  Also naked is Andy Bellefleur passed out on the couch and discovered by Arlene who gets to see far more than she would like to.  His phone is also ringing but we don’t get to see any weird dreams from him which is fine with me as we seem to be seeing far more of Andy this season than anyone EVER really needs to see!

So Jason and Andy have been called to investigate the shootings of Sam’s friends and Andy makes it quite clear to Jason he does not want to discuss any of the whole fairy stuff.  He also is not too impressed to learn from Sam that the victims are shifters too not that the information is going to help with the investigation any. Poor Andy is just on supernatural overload between this and the fairies although his main concern seems to be Holly finding out about his little one night stand with Morella.

After some actual investigating they find a silver filled, wooden bullet in a tree which leads Sam to suspect that perhaps these people are after supernatural creatures, maybe even vamps.  After all we have all seen what a wooden bullet can do (remember Franklin??).  Now so far we haven’t really seen much about who else might know about supes other than vampires but it looks like Mr Ball has a plan up his sleeve to reveal something new.  A little nod to the books perhaps with the shifter shootings??  Jason is now obsessing over all the supernatural killings that may have been going on without “humans” having any idea about it and everything just being written off.

Back at Fangtasia Pam has leant Tara some fabulous clothes and a very unimpressed Tara is put to work at the bar.  Now this “hard ass” Tara is already annoying me.  I think she is even more annoying now as a vampire than she was as a human and that takes some doing! Even Pam’s interactions with her are not as appealing this week with Tara generally just being stupid and within 5 minutes of being behind the bar Pam has to stop her from draining a human.  Really?  Is Tara THAT stupid? Pam gives her the lecture just as Jessica walks in which leads to a little girl bonding between the younger vamps with Jessica explaining all the good parts about being a vampire.  After all she too was turned without consent and as she says she had to put up with Bill as her maker … at least Tara got Pam!!  Towards the end of the little interlude Tara seems as though she may be starting to see that this doesn’t have to be the end of the world after all.

Our little search party has picked up Doug and Sookie manages to get enough information out of Doug’s head to allow Bill and Eric to work out that it was a female Authority member that freed Russell and of course Bill immediately  suspects Nora ; who is currently still doing her little prayer routine about how the warriors of Lilith will be coming despite the Authority keep attacking her with the UV.  Talking of the Authority, they are bored with waiting and decide that having tracked Bill and Eric and they apparently benign activity, that they will have until dawn to find Eric or their iStakes will be activated.  Molly (we met her when she fitted the stakes) gets to call and give Bill and Eric the news that their countdown has been activated.and lets just say they are none too happy about it but we do get to see a test of the ap which causes their iStakes to glow.

With Sookie taking directions straight from poor Doug’s head (who still isn’t remembering any of it) the five of them head towards the place where Russell has been staying.  We get to see flashes through Doug’s eyes as to how Russell was moved (apparently carried by the poor unsuspecting Doug) and they pull up to what looks to be an abandoned insane asylum (rather fitting).  We finally get to see a spark of “Book Sookie” as she takes charge and insists on going in as she points out that she is the one with the microwave fingers which is the only thing that seems to have worked so far against Russell and perhaps more importantly for her she needs to pee!

Whilst all that is going on Salome takes us to that secret room at the back of the Authority meeting room as we discover the Guardian there looking at a vial of blood which is supposed to be the original blood of Lilith.  Whilst I applaud Mr Ball for the idea of the history I have to say I am rather over the whole Authority thing now.  Bring on Russell and let the fun and games begin.  Roman rabbits on about how even he finds his routines to be a farce blah blah blah, honestly neither of these people hold me attention on screen and what they have to say seem to has very little effect on anything anyway so really they are just taking up valuable screen time.

Back at the asylum poor Doug looks as though he is about to pee his pants at any minute and Alcide notes that wolves have been there which is not really a surprise as Bill points out – they come with Russell.  Following a trail of rats and body parts (and a little more guidance from Doug) they find the room filled with bodies that have obviously provided the food for Russell’s recovery.  We also get to see a vampire equivalent of a walk in fridge with a bunch of still alive humans hanging in straight jackets from hooks all apparently just waiting to be eaten. Now don’t get me wrong, they don’t seem very happy about this and it is about the last straw for Doug who ends up cowering in the corner, but it does amuse me that none of the search party think to help them down and just leave to continue searching for Russell.

At Fangtasia Tara is on a break and runs into Gothed out Hoyt who apparently hasn’t been tortured enough yet and Hoyt tires to get Tara to bite him.  It seems as though Tara is going to do the right thing and tells him to go home to his mother but moments later we flash to the Fangtasia bathroom where Tara is chowing down….. with Jessica doing the same thing to a girl in the next stall!! So Jessica hears Hoyt and totally freaks out and here is where it gets totally ridiculous! Mr Ball needs to work out what his rules are going to be AND STICK TO THEM!!  A couple of weeks ago Jessica dominated in a fight with Steve Newlin who was made by one of the original Authority members and let us not forget that she was trained quite extensively to fight werewolves.  So tell me this … how on earth is Tara, a real newborn babyvamp not only holding her own but apparently giving Jessica a good fight??  Just doesn’t make any sense what so ever!  VERY ANNOYING!!! I have thought about it and tried to find a way that this could happen but there just isn’t one, other than inside Mr Ball’s crazy little head!

Brief time out for some seriously messed up stuff now.  Lafayette wakes up to a vision of Jesus’ head with mouth sewn shut sitting on his dresser obviously trying to ell him something.  Remember I told you Lafayette may not want the sign from Jesus after all.  My guess is that remember his body was missing when Lala and Sookie went to bury it? I am going to say that Jesus’ crazy grandfather has it, probably summoned somehow when that demon was released, and is using it for some bad voodoo!  If not him then it would appear we have more magic and mystery to come.  Perhaps even more strange is that Ruby Jean gets to see the same vision but she can somehow understand what he is saying and promises to get the message to Lafayette.  Sadly her way of doing this seems to be to just yell at Lala who is nowhere near her current location.  Let’s hope that somehow she works out that she needs a phone!

Sam has been released from the crime scene and rushes over to Luna’s to tell her what is going on.  Despite her insisting that it is a bad time when she hears what happens she invites him in and he fills her in.  As he goes to leave he is walking across the yard truck pulls up filled with people in president’s masks (Anyone else get a Point Break flashback here?) and one of them shoots Sam in the stomach and he falls to the ground.  The shot obviously alerts Luna who comes rushing out and then she gets shot twice, once in the arm and once in the stomach and she falls to the ground just as Emma comes running out but Sam yells at her to run and she changes into her little wolf cub and takes off while the men in the truck are still taking shots but we see her escape.  the camera pans out to show Sam and Luna on the ground and it looks as though Luna is dead and Sam is not far behind (although I doubt they will kill him off … Luna … well who knows)… and the truck drives off.

A brief boring quick flash to Roman babbling on about how should they be willing to extend the idea of Lilith to try and prevent a war blah blah blah …. basically should he listen to Salome and bend a little seeing as several members of his little elite group have been lost already.  Whatever! After a long speech he basically says no and that they will continue as they were.

Finally we get to the moment we have all been waiting for … we get to see Russell, apparently healed and witty as ever.  Not in the least intimidated by Eric standing over him and in fact he seems quite pleased to see Sookie.  He tells Eric to “give it his best shot” and Alcide disappears grabbed by something which causes a distraction and here I am thinking OOOOH we still have over 10 minutes left .. this should be good … AND IT ENDS!!!! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT??? NOT KEWL AT ALL!!!! Grrrrrrrrr

And so we have to wait another week! What is up with Jesus appearing as a head?  Is Luna dead? Which Authority member released Russell …. oh yes and that other stuff with Jason, Andy, Terry etc too.  Oh and I suppose I should throw Tara in as well but Mr Ball seems to be letting her get away with everything so enough said about that!


Memorable Lines From Let’s Boot and Rally

  • Lafayette – “Compared to all the evil out there, I am good enough, Better than most!”
  • Sookie – “A 3000 year old vampire wants to suck my blood …. must be Thursday!”
  • Sookie – “Do you mind terribly if I take a little peek inside your head?”
  • Jessica – “We will be young – forever”
  • Sookie – “First of all I have seen enough horror movies to know you don’t split up when you are in a big scary asylum and there is a crazy killer on the loose!”
  • Andy -“Wooden bullets kill shifters?” Sam – “Sure but so do regular bullets”.
  • Eric – “New York City smells like pee and the people are rude”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 00.19 – Alcide loses his shirt in …… 3
  • 00.24 – Alcide loses his shirt in……..2
  • 00.29 – Alcide loses his shirt ….now!
  • 01.00 – You Make Me Sick (Video)
  • 01.19 – Sook-Ups : Bill
  • 01.39 – Sook-Ups : Eric
  • 03.58 – The Demon Inside (Video)
  • 04.59 – True Love : He-Man Jammies
  • 05.54 – Relive : Jason’s weird dreams (Video)
  • 06.05 – Who Is Rosie?
  • 08.49 – Must Be Thursday (Video)
  • 09.14 – All Dolled Up (Video)
  • 09.47 – Love (Video)
  • 10.44 – Or Hate (Video)
  • 11.34 – True Secret : Emaciated Russell
  • 14.33 – True Blood Shrine
  • 17.31 – The Oxford Supernatural Dictionary
  • 21.11 – Did That Just Happen (Video)
  • 22.23 – Now Playing : Rescue performed by Echo and the Bunnymen
  • 22.31 – Snoop inside Fangtasia
  • 25.29 – Relive : Vamp Angst (Video)
  • 25.59 – BVFs (Video)
  • 26.08 – No Happy Endings (Video)
  • 29.39 – These Bros Go Way Back (Video)
  • 30.50 – Russell’s Wolves
  • 32.39 – True Secret : Rat Wrangling
  • 33.53 – An Easy Target (Video)
  • 34.17 – Jessica’s Vlog : Big Vampire Sisters (Video)
  • 37.55 – IFrit Bait (Video)
  • 38.54 – True Trivia : Lafayette’s Mom
  • 38.59 – True Trivia : Lafayette’s Mom
  • 39.04 – True Trivia : Lafayette’s Mom
  • 43.11 – Bang (Video)
  • 45.57 – He’s Back (Video)


True Blood Season 4 Ep 5 – Me and the Devil SPOILER Note V””V

Blog Originally Posted in Vampire Loving Dorks June 2011 – Reposting as Season 5 2012 Blogs will be here


Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo did everyone enjoy episode 5?  If you loved it all then you might not want to read this because lets just say I am NOT a happy bunny!!!!

Well I am going to start this review with a combination of the beginning and the end because that’s what has got my kickers all in a knot!!!  As you may remember at the end of the last episode Pam got cursed by the possessed Marnie and her face started to disintegrate.  We find out this episode that she is slowly starting to rot and she starts wearing this Miss Havershamesque big black hat and veil (not too shabby IMO lol).  During the episode Bill and his merry band of goons help Pam capture Marnie and they put her in a cell and question her (eventually big bad King Bill goes in and glamours her and they realise she really doesn’t know how to reverse the spell).  OK So far so OK with the whole storyline so lets slip to the final part of the whole Pam fiasco …… at the end she is in a meeting with Bill and 4 other Louisiana Sheriffs discussing what was to be done … and PAM LETS SLIP THAT SHE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED TO ERIC …. and EVEN WORSE …. WHERE HE IS HIDING!!!!!!……. SO WRONG!!!! This is just TERRIBLE writing!!!! Have these writers not met this character before??? Even going purely on the TV show version and ignoring all references to her book persona do they not remember the Magister events in Season 3???  PAM WOULD NEVER betray Eric like that … NEVER!!!!! …….Oooooohhhhh this has made me  really REALLY mad …. so mad that even the next part of the review doesn’t really help things ….. but it does a bit lol …. Ok takes deep breath …..

So what we all have been waiting for … the whole Sookie / Eric connection.  Well some progress is finally made this week despite a very strange Eric /Godric dream where Godric encourages Eric to drain her dry.  After the dream there are some very tender moments and lovely handholding and its all really sweet.  Right towards the end of the episode we finally (almost) get what we have been waiting for .. Eric and Sookie full on non dream make out kiss!!!!  Just as things start to get good though they flash over to where Bill and the gang are having their meeting and ends with Bill about to rush over and ruin everything at Sookie *sigh* when are they going to leave these two alone so they can finally GET IN THE SHOWER!!!

OK on the other storylines that to be honest I couldn’t really care less about ….. Tara, Lafayette, and Jesus are all taking off.  Tara is heading back to N’Orleans to face a not happy girlfriend who has discovered she is not really Toni.  Hmmmmmmmmmmmm is it too much to hope Tara stays there???  Lafayette and Jesus are off to Mexico to visit Jesus’s crazy Brujo grandfather who Jesus hasn’t seen since he was 9 and from a flashback we learn he made Jesus slaughter a goat and drink some blood to take in the power and his mother whisked them away. (Yup sounds like a great place to visit)

Arlene and Terry decide they need an exorcism so Reverend Daniels (who is now married to Lettae Mae who comes with him) comes over to sing and dance and wave white sage everywhere.  They eventually proclaim the place clean and apparently that’s all it takes to get Arlene and Terry back in bed in nasty tacky white satin sheets.  Cue very creepy music to let us all know that all is not well …. and a packet of matches catches fire by itself on the dresser … wonder how long it will take them to notice that???

Finally in the trio of storylines I couldn’t care less about are the Mickens.   Last week the evil parents from hell finally captured Tommy (although I still haven’t worked out why he just didn’t shift) but they have him and are obviously planning on making him fight the next day.  Long story short there is a big fight and Tommy finally kills Jo Lee but unfortunately also kills Melinda (who in Tommy’s defense was trying to help Jo Lee) but it is clear that Tommy never meant to do that and he is devastated.  Now who do you go to when you kill your parents?? Your brother of course lol  Sam comes to the rescue and after a brief, hilarious, incident with Andy Bellefleur (He opens the truck with Tommy and the bodies in the back and gets greeted by tommy having turned into a gator!!! … wow finally some smart thinking from the shifter).  So Sam and Tommy take the bodies and throw them in the swamp and Sam adds marshmallows to tempt the gators up to destroy them … because apparently Gators love marshmallows :S

In other news from the town…Sookie goes to get a reading from Marnie and gets a message from Gran telling her that Marnie is evil and she needs to RUN RUN RUN .. which she does … hmmmmmm interesting use of her mind reading skills …. Alcide gets a visit from a very unthreatening looking Shreveport packmaster who is unhappy that Alcide is on his turf and hasn’t presented himself to him (Yawn .. they could have at least got a big scary packmaster) ….. oh and there then is Jason …..

Jason as we know last week got free from the crazy hotshot freaks and was eventually saved by Jessica giving him her blood.  Jessica and Hoyt are acting all weird a fact that Hoyt feels is appropriate to try to talk about with Jason while he is spilling his guts about the terrible violations that he has endured… well timing never has been Hoyt’s strong point but it was funny to see it almost as a turn around as its normally Jason interrupting with completely random Jason stuff lol.  As usual anyone that ingests a large amount of blood for healing gets the pleasure of some nice dirty dreams and Jason is no exception.  You would think after what had happened to him he would be all about giving the sex a miss for a while but he certainly seems to enjoy his Jessica style wet dream …. that is until Hoyt interrupts and then eventually takes over.  Definitely a scene of much amusement for me.

And that pretty much covers it all from my view.  I am really hoping they get to some shower action soon …. this season so far is seriously lacking in any decent vamp porn!!!!  I must say though that the previews from next week look more about saving Eric from Bill administering the true death.  Just another example of King Bill NOT being kewl!!!!!

Memorable Lines From Me and The Devil

Eric -“I would never hurt anyone as beautiful as you”

Pam – “I can put up with a lot but if you fuck with my face its time to die … and I would like permission to torture the kill the mousey little bitch that cast the spell”

Sam – “Gators love marshmallows .. you should know that”

Jason – “maybe God is punishing me for having too much sex .. he’s like you know (in awesome Jason God voice) Jason Stackhouse you have fucked too many hot women… now lets see how you like it!”

Soooooo what did you think????

(M V””V)