True Blood Season 7 Ep 9 – “Love is to Die ” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season… ummmmm you have pretty much missed it all)…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Only 2 episodes left …. EVER …..   AHHHHHHH As much as this season is continuing with the “filler episodes” (seriously you are pretty much running out of time here … LITERALLY) I am still so sad this this is ending.  At this point the only good thing is that it is pretty much all dealing with the cast we know and apart from one scene saying goodbye there are no more shifters or wolves to deal with in Bon Temps.  Awwwwww almost like the beginning …… *sigh* ……

This week was really just a whole lot of talking! For the first time I could really feel the writers were trying to “wrap things up” and that things really are ending.  Despite the fact that, and let’s be honest here, the plotlines have totally lost themselves many times over to the point where sometimes I don’t even think the writers know where to go with things …. we are all here because this show will always hold a special place in our hearts … well my hear anyway …. OK enough of that …. On with the show!!

This week starts up right where we left off last week with Bill refusing to drink the cure.  Despite Jessica and Sookie pleading and giving their best arguments Bill tells them he is choosing the True Death.  Eric seems to be the only one that even slightly understands as he stops Sookie from repeatedly slapping Bill as she demands answers and sends Bill away.  But not before Jessica can demand that he releases her.  Bill looks torn for just a moment but then says the beautiful little speech and he leaves with Eric comforting a sobbing Sookie.   Pam obviously understands how much this hurts and Jessica turns to her and sobs in her arms …. but this is Pam is still Pam and says that if she cries on the jacket she’ll have to pay for it! HA!  Wouldn’t want us thinking she was too nice now would we!  **Roll opening credits**

Slight detour after the credits with Sookie and Jessica now apparently visiting Sam’s place.  There doesn’t seem to be any reason for this other than the fact that the audience gets to find out that Sam has left with Nicole and doesn’t plan on coming back.  There are 2 notes on the table.  One for Sookie and one for Andy.  Sookie’s letter is full of the explanation and we get to see (via flashback) Sam and Nicole packing everything up and leaving.  So goodbye Sam.  Looks like you get to survive and there will be no bookish type ending (so at least we can be grateful for that!)   And thus ends the shifter / wolf input this episode.  YAY lol

Sookie and Jessica head to the bar where everyone seems to be hanging out with the justification that Arlene has seen Field of Dreams and is doing the we are going to all be here until the customers work out things are back open and fake it until we make it.  As there are no customers they are going to have their own little party (Big John is cooking, Lala and James are there,  Keith, Arlene, Holly, her boys and Adelyn, and now Sookie and Jessica oh and a mystery waitress ….. really there are still people in this town we don’t know??? Ummmm FAIL! ).   Sookie takes Andy in the back to give him his letter from Sam thinking it is going to be emotional but turns out that it just says that he resigns as mayor.  Poor Andy!! Although it was pretty funny!

There are lots of “wrapping up” moments this week.  Jessica and James sort out their differences and James goes off to be happy with Lafayette and Jessica goes off into the night (we find out why all too soon).

Everyone else settles down to eat but Sookie is separate at the bar.  After a little telepathic intervention from Adelyn, Arlene heads over and has a little heart to heart.  Sookie tells Arlene about Bill and asks how Arlene keeps starting over and Arlene basically tells her she just has to kind of make up her mind to do so and they head over to the table where everyone is sitting to eat.

Now here I though with the way the camera was panning and them calling Lafayette from the kitchen to come join them that something bad was about to happen.  Because that’s how it works right? Nice scene … setting up for crazy ….. but nope.  Apparently tonight they all just get to have a nice dinner.  See you know things are actually ending when that sort of thing happens 😦

While they are eating Bill gets an unexpected visit from Eric and yes it is another heart to heart.  This episode is absolutely overflowing with them.  Eric tries to explain that he thinks the disease talking and not really Bill.  He talks about it attacking his spirit and how when Pam had found him he was in the same place. Bill explains about his dreams and how that he can see that he is ruining her life and until he is gone she has no chance.  Something seems to register for Eric and he agrees to get Sookie to  talk to Bill so Bill can explain before he dies.

Eric goes back to Bellefleurs and finds Sookie and explains that he has spoken to Bill and she needs to talk to him and hear him out.  The way Eric looks at her when they are talking is just so lovely.  He offers to give her a lift and she points out he doesn’t have a car.  He swoops her up in his arms and they take to the sky.  Awwwwwww at this point I am almost back to wanting Eric and Sookie back together despite the fact that she most certainly DOES NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES deserve him … but he obviously loves her (although I can’t work out for the life of me why) *Sigh*.    When they land at Sookie’s the look that Eric gives her just breaks my heart (see picture) but she doesn’t seem to get it.  Or she does and she’s just ignoring it.  He tells her that her phone is ringing and it is probably Bill and then he takes off to the sky and she goes in …. it is of course Bill on the phone and he is coming there to call on her shortly. 

Over in another part of town Hoyt and Bridget are fighting because she is still mad that Hoyt doesn’t want kids.  But that isn’t the real issue for her.  The real issue is the obviously chemistry she saw between Hoyt and Jessica.  Now poor Hoyt really doesn’t remember anything from before but Bridget isn’t quite buying that and when he admits that he went to the clinic to donate blood for Bill.  Bridget just starts to forgive him when, with perfect timing, Jessica knocks at the door.  Jessica tries to explain to Bridget that Hoyt isn’t lying. That she knows him but he doesn’t know her.  Hmmmm can you imagine being a non vamp person and trying to get your head around that lol.   Bridget tells Hoyt that she is confused and doesn’t want to hear any of it but if Hoyt does he can go out there but basically not to come back….. and of course he does!

Jessica explains that Bill has released her and everything going on with him and that she felt she had no one else she could talk to because he was the first man that she every loved.   The whole scene is really sweet.  These two always made a really cute couple! 

Bridget calls Jason as he is the only person that she know’s in the whole town.  She tells him that Jessica is explaining everything and Jason rushes over in his police car with the lights and sirens blazing just in time to get punched in the face and knocked out by Hoyt.  Yep Jason guess Hoyt has been told everything.  Next thing we know Jason is in the car with Bridget and as he comes around she is telling him they are heading to the hospital. Jason rationalizes that there is nobody working there and he has had loads of concussions and will be fine so to just go to his house but he wants to make it clear that they will not be having sex tonight.   Bridget is pretty shocked and explains that there is no way that would have happened anyway but Jason knows better lol.  She doesn’t quite understand but oh she will.

When they get to the house Bridget is trying to get her flight changed to go home but is getting nowhere with the airline.  Jason asks if it is a man or a woman on the line and when he finds out it is a woman he takes the phone and turns on that classic Jason charm.  This season really has shown Jason at his best.  He has been brilliant and again manages to save the day in his own crazy way and he gets Bridget a flight back before heading into the other room to put an ice pack on his head …. and then his other head to try and convince himself he is not going to sleep with Bridget. 

Bridget comes out of the other room and says she is hungry but all they have is beer. They sit at the counter for a bit and Jason explains about his life and how Math was hard and women weren’t.  All Jason can think about are the things that Hoyt told him when he first found out about Jason and Jessica.   Jason tells her the whole story and when he finishes Bridget tells him he is wrong and that  she is going to teach him how not to have sex with a woman lol. (Yes a skill every man is just itching to learn i’m sure!)

They lay in bed (on separate sides) and the plan is to tell each other facts about each other that they don’t know.  Jason ends up admitting that he wants children and he doesn’t know if he is right to be a father.  What if he has a daughter and she meets a guy like him.  What would he do then?  Well the obvious answer is most men would freak out and ground the daughter and kill the guy ….. but apparently the right answer is … you will be fine.  Everything is already in him to be a great guy.  Well OK then *sigh* …. and nope .. no Bridget Jason action.  He even keeps his top on. 

Meanwhile Hoyt and Jessica have moved their talk inside and things are getting more intense and Jessica eventually uses her blood to heal his hand and then things get all hot and intense and we get some nice Hoyt / Jessica action.  I guess those two were meant to be together after all ❤

At Fangtasia it is time for a change of pace and Sarah is taken upstairs ….to the back office for a makeover. They are turning her back to blonde.  Pam is back in hair mode again complete with foils!! (Season 2 anyone??)  She makes a big deal about glamouring Sarah so that she won’t scream but she can still talk. Hmmmm this could be a problem or why show it?   In the meantime Pam has a nice little story to go with things about whores and how Sarah will be making them a great deal of money because they will be able to sell her out as a “cure” to the highest bidders. 

Bill is walking across the cemetery to visit Sookie and he stops at the graves of his children.  With the minutes ticking down to the end of this installment I will confess I half expected him to collapse there and then and leave us hanging until next week to find out what happens but apparently that is not to be the case as we see him arrive at the Sookies.  Sookie is inside sitting at the table but I think something is wrong.  I think the Yukuza are there.  Why you might ask ….. well wait for it ……..

Back at Fangtasia Eric walks in to find a very annoyed Ginger who is bitching that Eric didn’t tell her that he wasn’t going to die.  Eric is not in the mood to deal with her and bitches back about how he has spent all evening dealing with other people’s relationship problems and how that is so not him and so he wants to apologize to her and make it up to her the best way he can think of.  He says he is going to fuck her!  He asks where she imagines them doing it …. seriously I thought at this point it was going to change into a dream but nope .. apparently Ginger is going to get her wish and finally get some Eric action!  Sadly for Ginger she does’t seem able to take a whole lot of Eric action before collapsing into a heap on the floor leaving Eric with nothing other than messed up hair.   It’s all rather ridiculous but she seems happy and she’s waited 7 seasons for her moment so I’m glad she at least enjoyed it lol

Sadly for Eric things are about to get a whole lot worse.  He goes hunting for Pam and finds her silvered to a table in the dungeon with a nasty stake hanging perilously above her suspended by a few ropes.  The Yukuza are gradually cutting the ropes to get Eric to talk and it works.  He admits that Sookie knows about Sarah being the cure …. the music turns dark and somber and seriously at this point I was fearing for Pam.  I am still not 100% sure that Pam will make it through but she survived this week.  I won’t lie, my heart was definitely in my throat there for a minute……. 

And now we wait until next week and the final episode. Oh it has come around so fast 😥.    The big question still remains who will make it to the end? Who will Sookie end up with?  Will she become a vampire to save Bill?  Why do I still have a horrible feeling Pam is going to be one of the ones to not make it? Things have totally taken a turn from the beginning of the seasons and all the bets have changed.  Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my final  thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie
Violet

Eric S7 ep 9

My Favorite Lines From “Love is to Die”

  • Pam – “If you cry on my jacket you’re paying for it sweetheart” 
  • Bridget – “Southern Eyelashes that go on for days.”
  • Hoyt –  “I want you to tell me the story of us ”
  • Arlene – “We can’t have sex .. it would kinda kill him if we did.” 
  • Eric – “Get over yourself Bill! ”
  • Eric – “I’m over 1000 years old! If I had an aptitude for marriage counselling don’t you think I would have figured that out by now”. 
  • Jason– “You just happened to pick a guy who’d already met the girl he was supposed to be with”
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True Blood Season 6 Ep 9 – “Life Matters” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So here we are! It feels like this season barely started and already this is the penultimate episode. Really this week was split into 2 sections (although it jumped back and forth A LOT between the 2 in the episode) so for my convenience I am going to split the review up that way too.  And yes I saved the better bit for the second half so if (like me) you are totally over the whole Terry and his funeral drama feel free to skip ahead.

For those that want to know everything … here we go.  Tonight we say goodbye to Terry with a funeral that takes up about 1/2 the show.  Now don’t get me wrong, I loved Terry! Well earlier versions of Terry.  This season’s Terry was a lot on the annoying side for me.  I miss the Terry that kept Felix the Armadillo under his bed! I think having him shot the way he was to kill off a major character was a little bit of a cop-out and they have certainly milked it for all it was worth.  That being said there were some great moments during the funeral, especially the flashbacks that were really well filmed and had the raw quality to them that was so evident in earlier seasons (a quality that honestly I miss). 

Sookie leaves her Fairy haven to be there (just popping in like she does with no one noticing) …. and Alcide is there to hit on her. Hmmmmm still not quite sure why he felt the need to attend, guess with the whole pack debacle dealt with, for now at least, they had to find some way to put him in there and show that he is back to being a good guy.  Well Praise Cain for that because (and these are words I never thought I would be writing) he was even MORE annoying this season being Alcide the Asshole!!  He does provide some eye candy for Mrs Fortenbury and Jane Bodehouse though which amused me and we got an update on Hoyt (who has a girlfriend who apparently is ugly as sin but still better than being a red-headed bloodsucker).  Made me think of the Sam Scrunchie comment from Season 2. Definite amusement factor.  Adding to the amusement was a pretty constant string of insults coming from the (new) Caroline Bellefleur.  Delightfully inappropriate throughout.

The Reverend Daniels in there (complete with Lettie Mae who hasn’t changed one bit) and he gives the service in his quiet preachy way. He opens the door for various people to come up and talk and with each one we get a flashback of a poignant moment in their history with Terry.  Andy goes first with his (slightly predictable) looks at when Terry was holed up in fort Bellefleur after the war. Nothing really new here.  Sam is next and the flashbacks with him were well done.  It really has a “season 1” feel to it which I appreciated. 

Lafayette is up next and he is wonderful as usual.  I especially loved his outfit, the suit, the fedora, and the looooong false lashes. His speech was perhaps one of my favorite parts of the funeral complete with another Season 1 esque flashback and Terry being shown how Lafayette shakes it when he cooks.  Brilliant!  Moments like this show how well the writers know the characters … which actually makes it MORE annoying when they get it wrong!!!  If they have writers that can show us this … they should be able to not make so many other screw ups!!!  They do make up for it though with a boring interlude from Portia *yawn*.  We could have done without that!  PLUS no interesting flashback so double blah on that!

It should be Arlene’s turn but Sookie “hears” that she isn’t ready to say goodbye yet and so we get Sookie up there instead.  She takes that moment to tell them all she is a telepath (which I am pretty sure most of them knew as NO real reaction to that announcement at all but hey Sookie way to try to make it all about you) … and we get a real touching flashback to Terry first seeing Arlene on his first day at work.  They did an amazing job of recreating an almost exact scene from the very first episode which I am sure that many fans like me would appreciate and it was lovely closure for Arlene.  Very well handled but still taking away from what I really wanted to see .. the vamps!!!

Finally it is Arlene’s turn and she gives a moving speech and we get another flashback to when Mickey was born (side track for a moment and this baby looks  YOUNGER in this funeral episode that he was 2 SEASONS AGO!!!( ….. and we see Terry being wonderful and for a moment I am sad that he ended like this.  Then I remember that he was annoying this season and this story has been dragging on sooooooo enough already!!   Finally Reverend Daniels says everyone has spoken but Big John steps up and he is going to sing.  ( you would recognize him if you saw him … he worked in the kitchen with Terry). So he sings and everyone is moved .. and it is kinda touching (when you watch it this bit is actually overlaid with the whole Jason and Sarah bit … but hey I decided to write it this way .. so you are going to have to deal with it lol).  So song over we get the marine gun salute, the guns are fired, the flag is folded, the funeral is over.  Goodbye Terry.  Your crazy antics from earlier seasons will be missed.

And  now onto the vamps!!  At the end of last week Bill and Sookie had hopped to Fairy Land where they found Warlow drained (by Eric) but obviously still alive (he wasn’t a pile of goo) and this week we see that Bill is not big on the sympathy vote and still wants Warlow (who can’t even sit up) to keep up the bargain Sookie made and come help save the vampires stuck at vamp camp about to meet the sun.  Sookie points out that Bill is supposed to be the king of all the vampires and he needs to go sort out his own vampire mess and then decides she needs to gnaw on her own arm so that Warlow can feed (you would have though by now she would carry a knife for just sort a situation), which of course makes Bill’s fans pop out, which irritates Sookie even more.  Well Sookie he is a vampire – what do you expect.  Bill, couldn’t care less and as soon as Warlow has had a couple of mouthfuls of blood gets whisked up by Bill wanting to leave with him but he can’t. Ooops Bill you forgot that you need a fairy to get in and out of there … unless you are Eric apparently … no we aren’t getting a proper answer to that question from last week, but all is well as Sookie zaps him with her magic Fairy light and he bounces on his ass right back to the graveyard but not before she reminds him that Eric has more or Warlow’s blood pulsing through him than Warlow right now so he can go find him!

Talking of Eric, he is very much enjoying being able to walk in the sun and takes the opportunity to completely tear up all the guards outside of vamp camp (but Bill is not far behind him ).  Sadly we only get to see before and after shots *sigh* ……. no actual Eric doing the damage, but we can imagine (and I did :D).  With limbs in hand (well he wasn’t sure which arm had the chip in) he goes into the camp and starts making his way through with his first stop being at Doctor Oberlark’s office.  Remember him? He was the creator of Hep V and the stupid human that enjoyed injecting the lethal dose into Nora as he forced Eric to watch. Think he might be regretting that decision right about now and Eric approaches him and rips his balls off!! Quite literally!  Now the web has been filled with titillating spoilers about how this week we would get to see “Eric” and a “Naked Penis” in the same shot … and we do … sadly it is not Eric’s but the Doctor’s that has been tossed to one side as the Doctor lies there bleeding out. (Note to special effects team … whilst I appreciate a good blood shot ….. there is no way he could stay conscious with that much blood pooled around him … I am not even sure a body HOLDS as much blood as seen there … but I appreciate the effort).  Eric leaves him bleeding to death after pointing out he will be back in 10 minutes to make sure he has bled off.  Luckily (or unluckily) for Doctor Oberlark he doesn’t have to wait that long as Bill comes in and stomps on his head like the giant cockroach that he is!

Eric continues his jaunt around the prison, and it really is a jaunt, dancing into the room he just unlocked to free the male vamps in one of the general population quarters, humming to himself as he digs the computer chip out of the dead guard’s arm.  I ADORE this Eric.  The vampire out for vengeance with no regard for human life, the humans that have wronged him, the humans that thought he could be tamed. Covered in blood and oozing with danger! Brilliant!! If the whole show could have been like this I would have been thrilled.  He even takes a moment to console one lonely vampire who does not flee with the others because his maker is in one of the morgue type coolers.  The maker is infected with Hep V and we can see he doesn’t have long to live as the black evilness is coursing through his veins but Eric knows that feeling and quietly points out that the opportunity for vengeance is available.  *sigh* …. Love it!

As Bill is slightly behind Eric he goes off on a different pathway around the prison in his hunt for our favorite viking  vampire, seeing as he does that the vampires have opted for a literal eye for an eye revenge routine rather than a simple kill all the humans  variation.  We see variations of pretty much all the tortures we have seen inflicted on the vampires the past few weeks now being done to the humans, from the pulling of teeth, to the running in the giant hamster wheel (almost naked of course) to a therapy session with our not so favorite shrink.  As Bill searches he prooves once again that even as the all powerful Billith he is rather stupid and useless.  He asks a roaming vampire about Eric and is told that Eric set them free but the vampire refuses to elaborate saying so many hallways ….. and Bill just leaves it.  UGH Bill .. you have enough power to make Eric float around the ceiling like a giant helium balloon but you can’t make a simple number 3 vamp give you information?  USELESS!!

With Bill wandering in the opposite direction, Eric has made his way to Female Gen Pop 001 where, after freeing the room, he finds Jason pretty drained and laying, shirtless on a bench.  Amazing scene between these 2 characters which ends with Jason being healed by Eric (mainly because Jason can show him around) and Eric promising him some awesome dreams !! Oh I hope we get to see the dreams next season (although I am sure my husband is hoping EQUALLY as hard that we DON’T lol). With the newly healed Jason as his guide they head off down the corridors (with Jason high fiving all the dead guards on the way) and we see Sarah Newlin emerge from beneath a pile of bodies after they pass.  Now SURELY Eric would have heard the heartbeat and known someone was not only alive but (apparently) not injured in the least?? Was he so focussed he didn’t care? Or is this just another oversight to enable the plot twist that they wanted *sigh*.  Either way Sarah is alive and you know that won’t be good.

Heading a long Eric must have gone in a complete circle and now be behind Bill because he comes across the room where Pam’s favorite psychiatrist is having his own tortuous therapy session.  Eric dismisses the vampire torturers and has his own little chat.  The Doctor is scared and so he should be.  Eric is cold and calculating and awesome as he tells the Doctor he forgot to ask how he was going to die.  Things are about to get worse for him though because sensing the end is close he decides that taunting Eric is the best way to go.  Even Jason knows that this is not a smart move but Eric hears the truth in the words so whips out the guys “anti glamour” contact lenses and makes him tell all.  Then instead of killing him decides that it would be better for Pam to have the honor. See I LOVE that!!! Brilliant bit of writing there from the team!!!  As they continue down the halls (now with psychiatrist in hand) there is a piercing scream that all fans would recognise.  Sure enough Eric grins and says the same thing … and heads to find Ginger!!!

Bill, in the meantime, remembers what Sookie said about all of Warlow’s blood coursing through Eric’s veins and realizes that HE has Warlow’s blood too so grabs a guard and rushes off to find the White Room with a guard that he picks up on the way. 

With Bill rushing to the rescue inside, we get to see that Sarah escaping was a bad thing as she heads up the side of the building to the roof and we all just know it is the roof of the room that the vampires are in.  Sure enough we see her opening the roof to let the sun in to the vampires below …. but Bill has gotten there first and they are all feasting on him as the sunlight hits … well all except Steve who apparently only got a mouthful.  Hmmmmmmm dramatic as this is … why not just open the door Bill so they could all LEAVE??? *rolls eyes* .. STUPID!!! (The music is rather awesome though)

Eric finally catches up complete with Jason,  psychiatrist and Ginger … but they are in the observation room and Eric rushes around to catch Steve who is starting to panic.  Bill says to let Steve feed but Eric is having none of it and holds him into the sun to burn … just as Sarah leans over to look down at what she expects to be a room full of burning vampires.  Instead she just gets to see the one burn, her ex husband… who looks right at her and says ….. I love you .. JASON STACKHOUSE!!! Damn if that isn’t a smack in the face!! Eric and Pam share a beautiful moment as they look at each other and Eric tells Pam he saved the psychiatrist for her. Awwwwww great to see these 2 back on the right track!

The vampires are all high and dancing in the sunshine filled room (hmmmm yes could have done without that) … when Jason realises that Sarah is still alive and rushes off to take care of it.He catches her in the parking lot and has a gun to her throat but can’t bring himself to pull the trigger and ends up letting her go.  Oh Jason you know that is going to come back to haunt you!!

Bill is left on the floor … pretty much drained to the point of death (sadly not actually there) while the vampires all go to play outside and smash-up all the bottles of Tru Blood and apparently at the same time in Honolulu a vampire appears at what seems to be a Tru Blood delivery and we see the driver killed too. Hmmmmm wonder why Honolulu… guess we will find out next week.  Anyway Lilith’s little bitches appear and tell Bill it is time for him to go with them.  GO BILL GO!!! PLEASE GO!!!!

Eric is outside with the other high happy vampires but he is not looking so happy.  We see him go to where Nora was infected with the Hep V while he was caged and we see him go from mad to what looks like resigned.  Ohhhh go back to being mad Eric …. you still have a lot of humans you can kill!!! (and a whole pack of wolves over in Shreveport if you are really looking for something to do …. what …. just a suggestion … damn writers don’t listen to me anyway!!)

Jessica is also losing her happy thoughts as she realises Bill isn’t with them and she rushes back in (complete with James in tow) and finds Bill almost dead apparently talking to himself (Jessica can’t see the Lilith bitches).  James realises that Bill needs blood to survive and feeds him, which apparently is enough for the Lilith clones to leave and Bill to come back to the land of the living (unliving???)  *sigh* … either way Bill doesn’t die.  Damn it Bill could you not have just gone with them!!!

Bill walks out to a round of applause from the vampires he saved but you know from the music something is wrong….. although it is not for Bill that the music is playing … it is for Eric.   Pam turns and looks across the parking lot as everyone is leaving and it is just her and Eric … and she just says one line …. “Don’t You Dare Leave Me” …. and Eric is gone ….. straight up towards the sun leaving us to believe that he has decided to end it… and that is where they end the episode.

I can’t believe we only have one more episode left this season although I am curious what they are going to do with the finale.  This episode had a finale feel to it (had it been any other show) but I can only assume with season 7 confirmed they are going to spend next week setting things up for a tortuous cliffhanger to make us wait for a year.

I did appreciate the nod to Anne Rice’s Lestat, be it intentional or not for those avid vampire readers like me.  It gives me hope that Eric will survive this as Lestat did before him.  I think if they really wanted to kill him off they would have had this as the finale ending.  Certainly would have had us buzzing with the will he / won’t he make it questions for the next 10 months!!

Waiting SUCKS!!!

 

V””V

true-blood_6

My Favorite Lines From “Life Matters”

  • Sookie – “Eric took our deal and fucked it in the ass!!”
  • Eric – “I’ll be back in 10 minutes to make sure you bled out”.
  • Eric – “Go on, Go kill your captors”
  • Eric – “You’re free …. go forth and kill the humans”
  • Terry – “I don’t like work …… or people”
  • Steve – “I love you Jason Stackhouse!!!”

True Blood Season 5 Ep 9 Everybody Wants To Rule The World Synopsis / Review V””V

Greetings and Salutations fellow Trubies (or my random blog followers). Here we are at Episode 9 and just when things had been building up nicely I have to say this episode, for me at least, fell kind of flat.  Probably because less than 1/4 of it .. yes you read that correctly, was about the vampires! Dear Alan Ball and crew …. did you FORGET the original premise for the show?  Normally at this point there is a little disclaimer about my spoiler reviews and the length and detail they go into but this time it is a bit different.  As this episode contained a whole lot of filler that did not interest me in the least (save for the fact that it did seem to effectively FINISH 2 of the ever-growing list of storylines so they can just be OVER) I have decided that this will be split into summarizing (and my thoughts / bitching)  the 3 main storylines going on with the odd other bits I feel deserve mentioning, oh and the werewolf stuff too …. suppose I should mention what is going on with that.  At least part of it ties in with the vamps!  I did still list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and kept the new for this year HBO Go added online extras time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

When you break this week’s episode down, as I said, you really have 3 main things going on.  1. The Vampire Authority / Sanguinisa plans to take over the world, 2. The whole Obama / Shifter shooting storyline, and 3. The Terry / Patrick / Ifrit ridiculous smoke monster issue…… with honorable mentions to Lafayette and Pam in their scenes.   As the only one that interests me out of those main 3 is the first one let’s take these in reverse order.

As we know from last week the spirit of the woman that cursed Terry and Patrick has come up with an acceptable solution to let one of them live. Well this drags on through much of the episode with Terry going off to find Patrick, who in turns decides he is going to make the first move and kidnaps Arlene and holds her hostage at Merlottes.  When Terry arrives they argue, Arlene eventually stabs Patrick with a pencil (seems to be a recurring weapon in True Blood), and then Terry gets Patrick at gunpoint on the floor.  Suddenly Patrick is all about family and doing the right thing as Arlene screams frantically to shoot him. The ghost appears and tells Terry to “do the right thing” which turns out to be shooting Patrick twice in the head.  This makes the ghost happy as the debt has been paid in blood and the smoke monster / iFrit thing, comes out and devours Patrick’s body leaving just a puddle of blood on the floor. Well that is a much easier clean up!  And thus hopefully ends one of what has to be the most pointless, time-wasting storylines this season!

Before we get to the shifter shooting stuff a brief mention of Sookie. After her crazy encounter with the vamp “spirit thingy” has called the wonderful Lafayette to see if he a sense something going on.  Now after the build up last week this vamp entity doesn’t make any appearance this episode at all but I have to say Lafayette in this scene was awesome! I love seeing him back with his season 1 pizzazz and flinging around some amazing lines.  Pretty much every line out of his mouth in this scene could have ended up in the best lines!  Whilst he fails to sense any weird vamp spirit he does discover that there are a whole lot of ghosts around in Sookie’s bedroom and they ALL want to have their say.  He, however, is only interested in listening to Gran.  She tells them to look under the bed where there is a box that Sookie has gone through many times but this time she realizes when reading one of the newspaper clippings that Bud Dearborn investigated her parents death. (Oh so that explains the apparently random appearance last week … knew there had to be a True Blood type reason for Andy’s visit).

With Hoyt missing and Luna irritated, everyone seems to be researching the whole Obama / shifter shooting.  Jason and Andy are doing things the police way (which apparently includes beating the hell out of a prisoner to get no information), and have worked out that they need to know who the “Dragon” is so they can put a stop to it.  Luna and Sam turn up at the police station and are told to go home but Sam has a better idea and they turn into flies and hover to get the information as it comes to the Police’s attention.  This actually doesn’t take long as whilst watching hate videos they notice that one of the Obama’s are wearing boots …. line dancing special boots …. given on his retirement.  Yep Bud Dearborn is an Obama. 

Sadly Sookie wasn’t in on this conversation and she was doing her own investigation into her parents death with no clue what she was getting into.  Bud’s new girlfriend knocks her out with a frying pan and ties her up and dumps her out in a pig pen with Hoyt one stall over, unconscious with no idea what is going on.  When Sookie comes around we learn that Bud’s girlfriend is Sweetie Des Arts (Nice book reference) and she is in fact that Dragon and started her hating when her ex preferred a shifter to her.  Her answer to everything is to drug Sookie with some Oxycontin laced ginger ale and then throw Sookie and Hoyt for the pigs to eat all whilst filming it for their Humans For America website. 

This probably would have been a good plan save for the fact that Sam and Luna were already there, disguised as pigs, and Sam catches Sookie as he transforms to human much to the surprise and annoyance of the Obamas.  After safely depositing Sookie on the ground a very naked Sam fights most of the Obamas but Sweetie takes off chased by Luna who is now a German Shepherd.  With the chase going on outside Andy and Jason finally show up with reinforcements just in time to save Sam as Andy shoots Bud in the chest and kills him.  The remaining Obamas soon surrender and Luna catches Sweetie and beats the hell out of her.  Hey I would have to for threatening my daughter!  Hoyt is severely injured but is taken to the hospital and we assume he is going to be OK.  If not just call Jessica and have her bring over some vamp blood.

Well that would appear to be the end of that storyline so that is 2 of them finished with (one hopes) for the season.  Of course all is not over with shifters as Emma has been staying with the wolves after the whole Martha stepping in to help her bit.  More on that in the vamp bit coming up but a brief mention of Alcide.  This week all we see of him is him off licking his wounds (metaphorically speaking) and he is heading back to Jackson to see his dad.  We get a rather pointless (in my opinion) flashback to him and Debbie as children being initiated into the pack, and then we get to see him at the end with his dad who is gambling and drinking in a trailer somewhere.  I am assuming we will get to learn more about that next week.  Oh joy … I can hardly wait!

Oh yes almost forgot and Sookie goes home and is watching the Tru Blood stuff on the news when her family fairies turn up …. as we only see them for a minute and they let Sookie know vampires are behind it all I am guessing they are going to be around to help next week too.

And so we get to the actual part that I WAS interested in.  The vampires.  The episode actually starts with the council members all standing around the table with a naked man spread out ready for them to eat.  Russell suggests a prayer that Steve supplies (a hilarious stupid thing that doesn’t amuse Salome at all) which is then followed by Salome chanting something far more religious sounding… and then they all eat.

In the entry office we see Molly (the little technical iStake expert) trying to access the elevator but we discover she doesn’t have high enough clearance.  She knows something is up and Eric corners her in a room and with the help of one of her little gadget that allows them 30 second surveillance free chat they come up with a crazy plan that will enable them both to escape.

Eric confronts Bill over his, what Eric thinks is, playing along, but it immediately becomes clear that Bill seems to be a little more involved than Eric thought claiming that he actually wonders if God was a vampire.  Eric does however go over the plan which is going to turn out to be a huge mistake.   The other part of Eric’s plan seems to involve convincing Nora that he wants to believe.  Now this to me was the perfect opportunity to put in some Eric / Nora nookie!  We are definitely lacking of the sex this season and what they have given us other than episode one has been dull dull dull!!!  And tonight is no exception.  Instead of Eric and Nora we get a boring scene with Bill and Salome, who becomes Sookie, and then Lilith, and then Salome again. Well at least we see that Sookie didn’t actually sleep with Bill again so Praise Lilith for that I guess.  Ugh seriously who is directing these scenes??? It used to be that you could say no it’s not porn it’s True Blood but the last few seasons it has been yawnsville!!!

While all the boring sexscapades and lack thereof are going on Russell and latest boy toy Steve are heading to see JD and the pack celebrating JD becoming the new packmaster.  Russell decides to join in these celebrations by opening a vein and sharing his blood with the pack who all lap it up excitedly …. except Martha.  Martha sits back with Emma which immediately draws Russell’s attention when she decides not to join in despite his personal invitation.  Russell decides to respond by taking Emma and giving him to Steve as a pet.  JD does try and protest only to realize what a stupid mistake he has made because Russell OWNS them now!  Silly dogs!!! Thus Steve and Russell leave with Emma much to the anguished screams of Martha. Hmmmmm I am guessing Luna is going to be none to happy about this little development!

Quick trip here to Fangtasia to check in with Pam and the crew and Tara is worried about stockpiling Tru Blood as the factories are all getting destroyed and things are about to get ugly.  Pam explains that the last thing Fangtasia wants to do is not serve the Tru Blood that they have so that their vampire patrons do not eat their human ones and when the Tru Blood is gone vampires will do what they have done for years.  Pretend and then feed discreetly in private!  Sadly there seems to be one flaw in those plans.  A Marilyn Manson looking vampire called Elijah who is sitting on Eric’s thrown openly feeding on a human.  When Pam confronts him Elijah tells her that he has been appointed as the new Sheriff and that drinks (as in humans) are on him.  Oh this isn’t going to be good.  Let’s hope Eric finds a way to escape.

Sadly that is not looking too good as the best laid plans have all gone wrong.  Molly and Eric have managed to subdue Nora and are about to leave with her but were trying to wait for Bill and Salome’s blood that he was meant to be bringing.  As Eric uses an unconcious Nora’s finger to open the elevator Bill arrives much to Eric’s relief but that relief is short-lived as the elevator doors open and there inside is  Salome complete with a whole contingent of guards.  Oh Bill you TRAITOR!!!! Ugh I can’t stand him!!! Him and his smug little look he shares with Salome.  STAKE THEM BOTH!

And so we have just 3 episodes to go.  The preview for which look awesome but so have they all.  With at least 2 of the storylines concluded I would normally be saying let’s hope for some bloodlust and craziness.  Praise Lilith. Kill the humans! But this would put me on Bill’s side and so I don’t think I can do it.  How about we stake Bill and then see how I feel?  Just a suggestion!  True Blood is once again trying to push the relevance of tolerance in today’s society as its main theme but to me the whole comparison with the KKK and messages there felt forced and too blatant. Perhaps now they have a more mainstream audience (with over 10 million fans) they feel that subtlety is no longer an option.  The messages more cryptically placed and hidden to me are far more provocative but so be it.  I sadly feel that boundaries are not being pushed when things feel so shoved down your throat but it will not stop my obsession or my love of the show.  It just makes for slightly sadder observations.

I will still be sitting there come Sunday waiting for 9pm and my weekly fix to come on and in 3 weeks time when the finale is over I will still be lamenting the fact that I have 9 months to fill with re-runs and net scouring for spoilers, forever a trubie!

V””V

Memorable Lines From Everybody Wants To Rule The World

  • Eric – “Prayer is a fairly new concept to me”
  • Eric – “Put the baby fangs away before you piss me off”
  • Eric – “I don’t speak techie”
  • Lafayette – “One fine ass motherfucker with new eyelashes”
  • Lafayette – “I ain’t Gmail for dead bitches – send your own Goddamn messages”
  • Eric – “We’d better get back to slaughtering people in the name of God”
  • Lafayette – “Dead folk – why you gotta be so cryptic”
  • Russell – “Did you think my blood was free … you silly silly dog!”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 01.37 – True Blood Terror (Video)
  • 01.45 – True Trivia : Other Supes
  • 01.51 – True Trivia : Other Supes
  • 01.56 – True Trivia : Other Supes
  • 05.14 – I Ain’t Whoopi In ‘Ghost’
  • 07.51 – A Brighter Future (Video)
  • 09.24 – A Real Pain (Video)
  • 09.34 – The Last Ghost Lady
  • 12.42 – Boundaries (Video)
  • 15.10 – Second Look : Jason’s Frame
  • 18.08 – Keep America Human (Video)
  • 19.28 – Now Playing : First One In The Car performed by The Wallflowers
  • 21.45 – Pack Rules
  • 22.10 – Now Playing : Ain’t Life Hell performed by Hank Cochran and Willie Nelson
  • 25.05 – What’s With The Pigs?
  • 25.44 – Shifting Pros and Cons : Fly On The Wall
  • 27.16 – What’s With The Pigs?
  • 28.13 – Actor Pigs (Video)
  • 31.24 – Eau De Sweetie
  • 32.09  Dragon Dressing
  • 33.28 – Second Look – Square Dancin’ Chic
  • 35.04 – Teacher’s Pet
  • 37.29 – Relive : Bar Brawls
  • 39.47 – Born Again (Vide0)
  • 42.36 – Diva Pig (Video)
  • 43.10 – Shifting Pros and Cons : Always Naked
  • 44.55 – Carrying A Torch (Video)
  • 45.10 – Right At Home (Video)
  • 46.57 – Now Playing : Acrobatica performed by Losers
  • 47.44 – New Sheriff In Town
  • 49.47 – Duelin’ ‘Dos
  • 52.02 – Now Playing : Walk To Georgia performed by Grant Langston
  • 52.31 – True Trivia: Alcide’s Dad
  • 52.36 – True Trivia: Alcide’s Dad
  • 52.41 – True Trivia : Alcide’s Dad
  • 55.42 – Now Playing : Everybody Wants To Rule The World performed by Care Bears On Fire
  • 55.59 – End Of An Era (Video)

True Blood Season 4 Ep 9 – Lets Get Out Of Here SPOILER Note V””V

Blog Originally Posted in Vampire Loving Dorks August 2011 – Reposting as Season 5 2012 Blogs will be here

So at the end of last week we were all left wondering if our little blonde heroine Sookie was going to live ….. well OK so not really … did ANYONE think she was going to die????  Sadly of course it had to be Bill that saved her yet again with his blood *sigh* … Alan Ball sure does love his Bill but yes Sookie is fine and more irritated at the fact that Eric is missing (much to Alcide’s annoyance) that worried that she almost died.

So where is Eric??? Well “The Blonde One” as Antonia insists on calling him is on remote control and has been taken him back to the Moon Goddess Layer much to the disgust of most of the coven members apart from Roy … Roy just thinks everything is amazing *rolls eyes*.  Tara has realised this is not what she signed up for and tries to reason with the crazy witch which works out really well as now they are all prisoners lol.  Well done Tara!!!

Over in the other part of town Sam is still at Luna’s and he convinces her that a camping trip so that they are just “not there” if Marcus comes back would be the best thing and Luna amazingly agrees.  The whole camping trip thing is actually pretty cute with Sam turning into a bunny so that Emma can pet a wild bunny was actually, as much as I hate to say it, rather cute!!  and it really works out for Sam as he finally gets laid!!! Yay go Sam!!! Just keep your shifter girlfriend away from the witches … looks what happened to your last one when there was magic in the air lol

Poor Jessica is totally heartbroken over what’s happened to her and has been spilling her heart out to Nan who responds with a very Pammish line about how she was so glad she was never a maker (See best lines for the whole quote).  This amused me no end …. but it got better because when Bill came home Nan announced she was going to spend the night there before they go to “The Festival of Tolerance” the next night …… and flash to a shot of them all laying on the beds silvered down and Nan’s snide comment .. is there anything ELSE I need to know.  LOVE IT!!!!

Poor Hoyt is waking up to an awful hangover and an even worse alarm on his phone.  A rooster crowing that loud even WITHOUT a hangover would be cause for the Advil!!!  Looking around his trashed house he decides to pack up all of Jess’s stuff and put it in “The Monster Box”.  This is going well under Lafayette/Mavis with baby Mikey and gun burst in and poor Hoyt gets run out of his own house minus his pants.  Hoyt contacts Jason who is busy with Andy taking a report from Arlene and Terry and we get to see that Andy is fast losing control over his V habit to the extent that he remembers to take that but forgets poor Hoyt’s pants.

While there is a crisis over at Hoyt’s house there is full on Slutty Sookie mode at Sookie’s … Eric’s??? Whose house are we calling it now lol.  Anyway this time Alan Ball makes no attempt to hide that it’s a dream sequence with Eric appearing at the door in the daytime and having a nice little make out session until Bill appears …. hmmmmmm Bill looks REALLY short compared to Eric lol … sorry I digress …. oooh am going to digress again … did anyone else notice the music playing????  Reminds me of the movie Sleepwalkers movie every time ….. ANYWAY …. so Bill, Eric and Sookie can now all hear each others thoughts and the men both want Sookie to be his but Sookie has other plans.  Now in the episode the dream sequence pops back and forth but I am going to put the whole thing in here because .. well it’s my review and I can.  So Slutty Sookie brings the 2 men into the living room and tells them that she is obviously in love with both of them and she makes it quite clear that she REALLY likes it ….. so gives them basically no other option that to both go for it … and of course they do … but we only get to see her get bitten by them both before she wakes up.   Hmmmmm wonder how inadequate Stephen Moyer felt in that scene *snigger*

Back at Hoyt’s Jason and Andy have arrived (minus pants for poor Hoyt) and Andy high on V has no intention of diffusing the situation and just busts down the door and nearly gets shot for his trouble.  Jason manages to get him out of there but no progress on rescuing the baby or finding out what the hell is going on.  Luckily Arlene has half a brain for a change and calls Jesus in to try to work this out.  When Jesus arrives there is a great scene with Terry trying to give a whole army directive speech to which Jesus says I am just a nurse!!! and in he goes. Jesus quickly realises that Lafayette is possessed by the spirit of Mavis and manages to make him/her see that she is a spirit by explaining she is in a man … and Mavis checks this out the only way a person can … by grabbing his privates.  Oh I know this was meant to be serious but that amused the hell outta me … yes yes I am a bad person …. I know … but it was FUNNY!!!!!  Well Jesus being the Bruha that he is does some magic and we discover that after the guy we say last week killed her baby he then killed her and buried her in the yard and all she wants to do is hold her baby one more time.  Jesus manages to get Lafayette?mavis to come out and give the baby to Arlene and Terry and Terry just tells Lafayette that its OK .. apparently in Terry’s world we all have days like that …. and he still loves him .. awwwwww.  To resolve poor Mavis’s tragic death Hoyt and Jason start digging under the tree and well lets say they have more faith that I would have done because those people dug right through into the night before they found anything and as I am sure you guessed they found the bones of Mavis and her baby.  Jesus tenderly places the baby’s bones in Mavis?Lafayette’s arms and then tells Mavis it is time to go.  Great scene with Mavis and the baby leaving but honestly for me the whole thing was like Jason and the Panthers … a little anticlimactic.  All this build up and speculation on my pat anyway about the Bellefleur’s being involved and I really thought with Andy being on the scene that would tie in but no …. it all just led up to that and now that story line is over. *Sigh*

From Sookie sluttiness to Debbie Pelt and she is not coping with Alcide helping out with Sookie (not that Alcide has fessed up but she could smell it … duh Alcide you really are dumb as a box of rocks lol).  So Debbie gets herself some V for courage and heads on over to Sookie’s to help (not shoot her as it first appeared … nice touch with the flowers behind the back Mr Ball ….. for us book readers I will let you have that one). Sookie checks and Debbie really does want to help (apparently) so the new best friends head on over to Moon Goddess to launch operation rescue Eric.

While Debbie is busy with Sookie, Alcide is over with Marcus who is just back from visiting “Shifter Sam’s brother” who was at the bar and left a message for Sam to come meet him that evening.  Yes we can all see the Skinwalker is about to strike again but this time is appears to be for the good :O … wow Tommy!!!.  Marcus asks Alcide to stick around as because he is 6ft 6 and wide as a barn he looks intimidating but Marcus swears that Alcide won’t have to hurt anyone.  Hmmmmm yes I didn’t believe it either and when Tommy shows up in his Sam suit claiming that Sam has never even laid a hand on Luna it looks as though he may be right … but then Tommy has to be Tommy and just keep on going and he tells Marcus how Sam’s brother has had Luna every way possible and that is the last straw and the wolves (except Alcide) all jump him and beat the living daylights out of him.  Well we all know what happens when shifters start to lose consciousness … they lose their shift and as a skinwalker it’s no different ….. poor wolves have no idea what to make of this but a furious Alcide calls Marcus a liar and picks Tommy up like he weighs nothing and walks off with him.

Back to operation “Rescue Eric” and Debbie appears to be helping as a distraction by revealing her werewolf self to Antonia who is not quite trusting but definitely curious.  While Debbie keeps Antonia busy, Sookie creeps in through the back and finds Eric who even spellbound recognises her and is able to tell her to leave and that the plan is to kill the king.  Debbie at this point tells Antonia that she bought her Sookie and it’s not clear whether she is really trying to help or not as it’s definitely ends up helping.  Tara finds Sookie first and actually does something smart for a change and has Sookie use her telepathy to help her escape, and lets her know where Bill is going to be and that all the people there are being held hostage.  Sookie escapes and catches up to Debbie in the car and turns her into Taxi service.  While Sookie and Debbie race to the hotel Antonia leaves too taking Eric and Roy with her but leaving the others trapped in a magically sealed building.  Cue the stupidest scene of the night …. Tara grabs a door handle and gets severely burnt for her efforts and what is the big plan …. GO TRY THE BACK DOOR … cue another screaming wiccan as she gets burned too. Hmmmmm yes because it was likely that Antonia would only booby trap one door wasn’t it.

While Bill is at his Tolerance Rally waiting for Eric to come kill him *snigger*, Jessica is at home all alone and gets a surprise visit from Jason who on behalf of Hoyt it bringing her stuff back.  Jason has sweetly crossed out “the monster” message on the side before returning them and as he puts it “parrot phrases” Hoyt’s message for her into something much nicer.  While agreeing it’s a bad idea to come in Jason says nothing about Jessica coming out … to have crazy hot sex in the back of Jason’s pick up truck.  Oh I do feel sorry for Hoyt but damn Jessica and Jason is a hot couple if you ask me!!!

Over at the Vampire Tolerance Rally the vampires are trying to say how lovely and harmless they are and all is going well until Eric goes in chased by 3 vampire guards who immediately get the remote control treatment from Antonia and off they go to kill three human guards, eviscerate them, and then hang them dramatically over the balcony to ensure maximum chaos below.  Bet Nan is just wishing for the days of Russell now!!!! ….. As this happens Sookie comes rushing in screaming for bill and interrupting his (very boring) speech about how hate always provokes a bigger response than peace blah blah blah …. and the episode ends with Eric rushing forward to Kill Bill …. and Sookie screaming RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Over a maddened crowd.

Over all Mr Ball a much better attempt than in previous weeks if you ask me but I have to ask … where was Pam???  Does anyone really believe she would not have been out there leading the search party for Eric??? She never came to see if he was with Sookie???? She never even called to check :S …. I really missed Pam this week and I think her absence for me at least was glaring.  With only 3 Episodes left I am already beginning to mourn lol

Memorable Lines From Let’s Get Out Of Here

Bill – “We Can Pray” …. Alcide -” A Vampire and A Werewolf who’s going to listen?”

Emma – “I hope I turn out to be a shifter … So I can be a bunny and pet myself”

Nan – “There have been times I will admit that I have thought maybe I should put my career on hold and become a maker but those last few hours with you have erased all those doubts … FOREVER!!!”

Tommy – “Well He Ain’t around Marcus He Knows Who I Am”

Mavis /Lafayette – “Oh No … how I make the baby with this me”

Sookie – “Come on Debbie … I have to say for a werewolf you drive like a girl”

(M V””V).