True Blood Season 6 Ep 8 – “Dead Meat” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

I am going to start by saying I think this was, perhaps, my least favorite episode so far this season.  For me there was way to much Shifter stuff, Pack problems, Terry trauma, and Fairy fuss!! Overall I found it to be rather dull, especially considering the teaser that we got to see last week, but hope that there is at least some kind of reason for this stuff and possibly an excuse …… I mean explanation from some pretty GLARING continuity errors!!!

We start this week very briefly seeing Eric dealing with Nora’s death and by dealing I mean basically saying screw you Billith I am not helping you or your stupid cause. You failed to save Nora so now I will do my own thing even if you float me around the ceiling like a kite and act like you are a big bad vampire at the end of the day you are just Bill and you are weak!  And Bill proves him right and ends up letting him go.  One of the better moments of this week’s episode but sadly over before the opening credits roll with Bill “slamming” (worst door slam ever)  the door behind Eric as he takes off into the night.   Now at this point hopes are high that Eric is going to be bad and vengeance driven this episode but sadly we see very little of him other than now and his reappearance at the end.  Hey at least I am warning you now … I sat through the whole episode to learn this!

Credits done and we go to Alcide and his little pack dilemma.  Yes I know I don’t really care either but hey it was in there.  So Rikki has Nicole and Mom all tied up and presents them to Alcide as very much not dead and then when Alcide reminds her that he is in fact packmaster Rikki challenges him to a fight … to the death. She even manages to get a couple of seconds … the little bitch that they had the three way with and … ummmmmm well a very strange looking blonde reminding me yet again why wolves are just not my thing.   Stupid fight where Alcide kicks both their asses (yep the girls cheat) and whilst I would normally be completely against any man hitting a woman … Rikki really did ask for it … and she is a wolf … and oh yes I don’t care but PLEASE get this story over with.  So they fight and Rikki loses but we don’t actually know whether Alcide kills her or not.  Well OK we do because it’s Alcide .. and even asshole Alcide that has been around this season won’t be doing that.

Over at Vamp Camp Willa wants to try and save Jason from being Violet’s chew toy but Tara talks her out of it. At least Tara seems to have a handle on the whole vamp hierarchy now …. or maybe it is just the jail hierarchy that she has the hang of.  Either way it was a smart decision on her part.  Violet has decided that Jason is “hers” and apparently this to her means forever. A concept Jason is not too thrilled about but hey at least she isn’t going to be passing him around for favors so bonus for him.  Honestly I am bored with her already. Even her whole I am a real medieval catholic with real values speech was just annoying.  The only amusing part was when Pam asked to talk to her while she was feeding (in what appeared to be a morgue drawer???… no idea why THAT was in the general population room) but that amusement was down to Pam’s attitude and not hers.  Overall I hope she dies because otherwise I see another long drawn out Crystal time situation occurring and we certainly don’t need that cropping up again!

Back in Bon Temps Sookie is at the graveyard and yet again seems to have a complete handle on what she can do with her powers right down to telepathically talking to Warlow (I am dropping the Ben bit)  before she returns to Fairy land (which this week seems to have sparkly things everywhere almost like icicles you hang on a Christmas tree everywhere) and ties him back to the gravestone with some vines.  You know if he has enough control to make the decision to do that …. and then she is going to feed him when she gets there anyway …. why bother with the tieing him up in the first place.  Oh wait I got it …. you didn’t tie him up before you left last time because it wasn’t needed for the story … but this week it is so just tie him up and leave him that way ….. indefinitely.  Yep GREAT plan *rolls eyes*.    Anyway I am jumping ahead a bit … so they are there and Warlow makes a nice point that Bill is a liar and so just because he says he won’t kill Warlow after he saves the vamps doesn’t mean it is true and he is going to want a little more assurance, so if he helps the vamps Sookie has to become his fairy vampire princess bride.  Sounds fair enough to me! But Sookie needs time to think about it and zaps herself back to Bon Temps where Eric is waiting, hiding behind a tree, and sees her just appear.  Once she leaves Eric goes to the spot she just came from and waves his arm around obviously trying to sense what is there.  Whether Eric can tell or not is unsure but Warlow certainly can as the whole realm he is in suddenly goes dark.  Interesting ……. OK not really … it is exactly what happened when Bill was near in season 4 with the whole fairy thing.  At least time doesn’t seem to be distorted now … or maybe the writers just forgot that part……Oooooh maybe Warlow can control it … what??? They are making up new rules every single week with no regard to what has happened before!!! Almost as bad as the last Sookie book!!! (Hey they make a reference to it in a bit so why can’t I).

Back to Vamp Camp and Jessica and James are basking in the afterglow of their little fling last week. They really are kinda cute together. James is by far the most interesting new vampire for me this season although even he annoys me this week. I guess when Jason got escorted off they were just left in the room and no one thought to check.  Well OK then. But it doesn’t last long as just as they are about to have a little more fun the guards burst in….. of course no one questions how they happened to be there just split them up and take them back.  In the hallway they meet Pam who is leaving the psychiatrists office having exchanged sex (which she describes as Oozy but productive) for her release back into general population.

She arrives just in time for the big announcement.  Tru Blood is now available for all and they will all be getting their own bottle.  Obviously those in the know are not too thrilled about this and don’t drink but sadly those in the know include James ….. who can’t keep it to himself and takes pity on the poor Steve Newlin (who almost gets bullied out of his bottle anyway until the guards intervene) and tells him not to drink it either.  UGH James you stupid stupid boy!! What are you thinking? We all know this is going to end badly … and it does!!! When Sarah finds out that certain vamps aren’t drinking the their spiked drinks she immediately asks if Steve is one of them and then tortures him by having him run on a giant hamster wheel under the threat of UV light.  Steve, being the spineless cry baby that he is soon gives up all he knows and that he got the info from James without ever being touched by evil UV rays. So pathetic. He is SUCH a 4!!!!  With the new info Sarah comes up with a new plan.  All those that refuse to drink will be escorted to the white room, which we soon see is the room from Bill’s visions, the room where they all meet the sun.  This is not good.  We get to see Steve and James put in there and Steve sobbing and crying to Sarah …. yep because that is going to help Steve!  We don’t, however get to see what happens to them until later.

In the meantime Sam has returned to Merlottes and is greeted by Alcide who lets him know that he has returned Nicole and her Mom who were kidnapped by the crazy Rikki.  Looks like Alcide is back to the old Alcide and no more pack for him.  Yep knew he wouldn’t kill Rikki.  Shame .. she totally deserved it.  So Alcide heads off to drink in the bar while Nicole and her Mom have a drink with Sam in his trailer.  Yes all very dull ….. Nicole’s mom doesn’t feel safe (sensible woman) but she still goes off to bed.  Nicole and Sam have a moment outside and he starts smelling her hair ….. OK you know that means something shifter based and sure enough when he is in the bar talking to Alcide (yep they are all friendly again) Alcide mentions it and it becomes quite obvious that Nicole is pregnant.  YAWN!!!!! What happened to Luna being the love of his life?  It has been just a few days and yet he is all ready to move on with everything.  Damn shifters!

Moving on to more stuff that I am totally done with … the whole Terry mess.  Arlene is nicely hung over but Lafayette has a nice plate of greasy breakfast for her (and it looks GOOD … I love fried bread …. not something I have seen much of since moving from England ….. my husband was trying to insist that Lafayette had in fact made Grilled Cheese but I know I was right .. and it was breakfast …. yes I know totally off topic but still more interesting to me than this storyline) …… So yes Lafayette made breakfast and then broke the news about the life insurance.  Adelyn was listening in to Arlene’s head and hears that all is not good in there with lots of guilt to go around including some thrown the young fairy’s way as she needs to stop being in people’s head.  This gives the cue for both of them to storm off unhappy (very important for later that Adelyn be alone).

I am going to wrap all the Terry from this week up here because … well honestly not a lot of it makes sense … I mean last week I was moaning that Arlene seemed to have buried him already … this week we go to the funeral home to plan things.  And it is all a little ridiculous.  Old Mrs Bellefleur is there (now I am assuming it is meant to be Caroline????… yep checked the credits .. it is but they got a new actress… and she is NOT as good) and she wants a full 21 gun salute because that is how they do things which I agree with Arlene is in rather bad taste in this case.  Arlene goes outside but eventually calms down and the funeral is set and even though she worked out who shot him Andy convinces her that if she presses him to investigate the life insurance won’t pay out so better to just pretend nobody knows anything.  So bored with this whole thing.  Seriously .. OVER IT!

Sookie visits Bill, in the daylight, and they have a little chat in which Bill basically tells her to hurry up and just do it already and he doesn’t care about her little issues and that the deal sounds quite fair which comes as a bit of a shock to little Miss Sookie who was obviously expecting a little more sympathy. But we all know she is going to do it .. but first a little stop via Merlottes where she successfully manages to interrupt Sam trying to get Nicole to stay (it wasn’t hard he asked she said yes but Mom was not amused) and whisk Sam off to his office where she shows him her little light ball and then drops the bom that she always thought they would end up together.  Way to mess with the guy Sookie!! (And yes totally ripped from the last book!!!). Sam, to his credit, is not in the mood for this Sookie drama and so poor Sookie runs off and we get  an agonizing hour (well actually it is more like 5 minutes but seriously when watching it it FELT like an hour) of Sookie talking to her parents’ gravestones and then painstakingly getting ready, leaving a voicemail for Jason (Niall is missing, Terry is dead, the funeral is in the morning I will save you a seat, sorry to leave this in a voicemail), until she eventually arranges to meet Bill that evening.

In other day time romps, Holly has called her sons and had them go and take Adelyn out for the day (complete with a big bottle of booze … I am betting Holly didn’t count on that one) and off they go to get drunk.  Skip ahead to the night and one brother is pretty much passed out while the other decides to get hot and heavy with the young fairy.  All is going well (especially for the brother that manages to get Adelyn’s top off) until Eric appears.  Pulling her top on as she goes Adelyn takes off running while Eric glamours the 2 brothers in to forgetting that he was ever there and (with a smirk) forgetting that Adelyn was ever there too even though it means for the one brother he has to forget he managed to get a girls top off … he even apologizes for taking that memory away.  With the boys safely glamoured Eric is free to take off after the fairy girl and with his speed he catches her (and drinks from her quite deeply) but as we see her running down the road only to be picked up by Andy we know that he doesn’t kill her.

Back to vamp camp and the best Sarah Newlin scene ever!!!  Sarah is slowly unravelling as everyone is asking for the Governor but it is when the Tru Blood exec turns up and forces her way despite Sarah’s best “we are both strong women plea” in to the camp that everything really gets good … I mean goes wrong. With Sarah chasing the exec wildly through the corridors the exec soon realises there is something very wrong going on in that place with screams that she needs to inform the FDA….. oh honey that is the least of your problems right now!!! Sarah chasing her down in ridiculously high heels is awesome and the fighting is pretty good too. So glad they decided not to go for the typical girl fight, hair pulling etc, but Sarah finally gets the exec to the ground and starts slamming her head into a metal grate … right about the male general population room who rush to lick the blood that is pouring from the execs head to their floor below.  To finish things off, Sarah grabs the exec’s ridiculous high heel leopard print shoes and slams it into her head screaming DIE DIE DIE … and when she does … Sarah sinks back and thanks Jesus.  In a not so good episode this was definitely a highlight and very unexpected.  Not good for Sarah and her crazy vamp camp but great viewing pleasure.

While all that is going on my the male general population area back in the female area Violet is called out for not drinking her Tru Blood.  Her excuse that Jason is keeping her fed doesn’t wash with the guards but as Violet is yet to know about the Tru Blood problem she is quite happy to go get hers …. until Tara opens her big mouth and says that by Violet drinking that their Jason problem will sort itself out.  Of course Violet hears and so wants to know why they aren’t drinking it and so the result is Violet, Jessica, Tara, Willa and Pam all end up in the white room where we see that Steve and James are in fact still alive … but Jessica recognizes the room and realizes that is where they are all going to meet the sun as seen in Bill’s vision.  Even Pam looks worried!

So quick Time Out here before I get to the finale part (where I will have even more questions) …… I want to talk about Hep V for a minute ….. now I know Nora got a nice big syringe worth straight into the veins but she then lasted less than 48 hours but she was 600 years old AND was boosted with Bill’s blood.  So why are NONE of the vamps, even the weakest level 4’s showing ANY symptoms yet?  Doesn’t make sense to me.  Surely they would at least look a little sluggish?  Hmmmmm doesn’t quite add up for me.  Probably just an oversight although even in upcoming previews we are not seeing any signs of the virus spreading through the system.  *sigh*.  Does anyone else ponder these things??

OK back to the show and Sookie is once again in full command of her Fairy powers and tells Bill to hold her hands so she can transport them both to Fairy Land where Warlow is waiting. Hmmmmm OK.  Sadly for them when they get there they see Warlow is still tied to the gravestone but definitely not looking too well…. he has been completely drained … but we know he isn’t dead as he is a vampire and not a pile of goo.   Sookie has no idea what happened but Bill just says one word …. ERIC!!!! and roll credits … and show an awesome preview for next week ……

Now here is my problem …… The whole drinking fairy rules seem to have changed.  In Season 4 when Eric drank a fairy he got nicely, and very amusingly drunk …… Jessica drank 4 fairies … and kinda sorta got high (she was a miserable drunk / high though) and nowhere near the level that Eric did … now is this because she drank baby fairies?  We know that Sookie’s blood tastes great and allows temporary day walks but no drunk feeling …. because well we assume she is part fairy?? So what is the deal here?  How did Eric get into Fairy land?? Just because he drank some fairy blood??? If that is the case Bill drunk Warlow’s blood which is obviously far stronger, AND we already know gave him a connection to him and yet Bill couldn’t find his way there but Eric could?  Dear writers can you just make up a set of rules and stick to them?  That would be much appreciated and would save me having to mull over these things for a ridiculously looooooong time and not come up with any answers BECAUSE YOU KEEP CHANGING THINGS!!!!

That being said I want it to be Sunday now …. because WAITING SUCKS!!!!!

V””V

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My Favorite Lines From “Dead Meat”

  • Pam –  “yes from everything I know about her she seems like the sharing type!”
  • Andy  – “You aren’t even 2 weeks old so no I will not get you some coffee”
  • Bill – “It seems really quite fair …. he would be doing us a rather large favor”
  • Nicole’s Mom – “May I ask how old YOU are Silver Fox”
    Andy – ” I am trying to decide if it’s going to be more uncomfortable for me in here or out there”
  • Sarah – “DIE DIE DIE …… thank you Jesus”
  • Sookie – “Destiny is too much of a bitch to keep fighting”
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True Blood Season 6 Ep 1 – “Who Are You Really” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again …… and here I am again .. and let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right there here we go!!  At the end of Season 5 we were left we several cliffhangers (for a full reminder click here), some of which we actually get resolved in the premiere.  Awesome!! So much more gratifying than the whole dragged out stuff … well for me anyway.

At the end of S5 we saw Bill die and dissolve onto to reform from the pile of Goo.  then we saw it from Eric and Sookie’s perspective but S6 starts us with the views through Billith’s eyes.  Eric and Sookie are making a run for it and Billith seems to have gone a little insane and is more interested than tearing through wires and destroying everything than actually chasing them.  Sparks are flying and it obviously isn’t going to be long before the whole building blows up.

Sam, Luna and Emma are escaping in the other direction but remember I said Luna didn’t look too good at the end of S5 … well she dies … or at least we are lead to believe she is dead and Sam runs off with Emma after promising he will keep them safe.  Hmmmmm I don’t know something just felt off about that.  As much as I felt it was her last skin walk when she was Steve Newlin this just felt weird.  Maybe I am reading too much into it … but having a vamp just kick at her and say “it’s dead” seemed a little overkill.  Sam makes it back to Merlottes with Emma where he finds Lafayette waiting and learns that Luna’s transformation has been all over the news.  Lafayette is just awesome. He takes poor Emma off to eat something fried, dipped in sugar, then fried again and promises not to tell anyone he saw them there.

 But I digress from the vamps ….. 

With that chaos continuing in another part of the Authority headquarters we get to see the crazy group of vamps (plus Jason) trying to get past all the guards that don’t quite seem to realize that all the authority members are gone and it is just total anarchy at this point.  The funniest thing though is not Jason (who is still on his I HATE FANGS kick) trying to work with the vamps but rather Pam who is not on board with Nora being in charge.  Seems that she has no idea who Nora …. hmmmm Guess Eric never mentioned he had a sister.  The “rag-tag bag of fuck ups” (Nora’s name for them) manage to escape only to have Pam and Jason want to return for Sookie and Eric but Nora is having none of it.  Luckily for her Eric and Sookie arrive in a van so they can all pile in.  Poor Jessica is missing Bill but as they start to drive off he appears, naked, blood covered, and walking through the flaming remains of the building.  Rather than heading for the van he takes straight up into the sky like a “Naked Evil Superman” (NICE JASON!!)

With the van racing away Nora and Pam just cannot get on and Eric has to pull over so they can sort things out.  Pam lets her feelings known and is in full Pam form with her descriptions of Eric’s annoying sister.  Eric sadly is not in the mood and sends her away where she ends up crying on the beach *sigh* … Stay Feisty Pam!!!   Eric talks to Nora wanting info from the book of Lilith but Nora is as clueless as to what could be going on. Apparently Lilith worshiping didn’t include what to do if a worshiper drinks all the sacred blood and goes off the rails but it does mention Warlow … apparently he is Lilith’s progeny …… Ooooh that can’t be good.  Poor Eric is totally lost with all the Warlow stuff and is a little irritated when Nora points out that even Jason seems to know more than him on the subject.  There is a showdown with Nora, Eric, Tara, Pam and Sookie all against Jason who obviously can’t win so he takes off.

Jessica is freaking out because she still thinks it is “Bill” and doesn’t want him hurt … a fact that should change when Bill starts using his suped up powers to “call” his child back to him.  Eric tries to stop Jessica and it almost ends up killing her.  Literally her heart is nearly ripped from her chest so they have no option other than let her heed his call … and of course Sookie goes with her.  Eric and Nora take to the sky leaving Pam with orders to take Tara to Fangtasia (which Pam is not amused about).

So let’s take a (very) quick break from the vamps to update you on the wolves.  At the end of last season (with the help of some V) Alcide makes pack master.  We get to see them celebrating (and munching on the old packmaster .. Mmmmm yummy *shudders* …. and then as usual there is lots of howling, and growling, and the required getting naked and going for a run.  Alcide seems to be enjoying himself although to me he looks ridiculous. Even worse the only sex scene this week was one with him, his new head bitch, and some other naked wolf chick.  YAWN!!  Ugh werewolf sex just doesn’t work for me.  I want naked vamps!!!

Continuing with the break let’s just cram all the non vamp stuff in here.  Remember Andy and his babies?  Yes well he is not coping so well. Totally overwhelmed by it all he needs a pep talk from Arlene as to how all new parents feel this way and he needs to start helping out.  You get to see how Terry has become very much into a father role (so far from when we first met him … although I kinda miss the old crazy Terry) .. and you think maybe Andy will be able to do this with a little support….. but SURPRISE ….. suddenly after all the baby scenes and Andy laying down for a well deserved nap on the couch you here the pitter patter of little feet running around and then “Hello Daddy” as four walking talking toddler girls are right there.  Wow those Fae babies grow fast.  Not sure where they are going with this but it sure beats the whole watch Andy deal with babies thing.

Staying on the non vamp stuff for just a touch longer, we know from trailers there is going to be a lot of political implications this season and they start this week.  With True Blood being in short supply Governor Burell has taken things into his own hands.  He is basically declaring war against the vamps.  No vampires out after dark, all vampire businesses to be closed down and taken back over by the State, and he urges all people that can to load up with wooden bullets. (Side note … love the touch of people in the crowd with Light Of Day Institute shirts).  Interestingly enough later in the show we see him meeting with Ms Suzuki who is in charge of  the Tru Blood company and offer her the free use of a bottling plant to get Tru Blood up and running again like a government bailout but with no publicity or strings attached. Hmmmm you know that THAT is not going to end well.  He says it is for money but we all know there has to be more than that.  Hmmmm doesn’t that zombie show have an evil governor? (Not really sure as I don’t watch it …. zombies you know … not a fan) … but I guess we will see there this is heading.

Remember Jason took off? Well he ends up getting picked up by Rutger Hauer’s new character who is obviously not quite human but poor Jason is not quite on the ball (although he does get his gun ready).  This new character was originally listed as being Macklin and then he is in the credits as Niall (who book lovers will know is a great-grandfather type fae character) but then when Jason is talking about Warlow he says that no one will be able to keep Warlow from Sookie … who do you think I am … and he vanishes.  Very strange.  Guess we will be waiting for more news on that too but it certainly isn’t going to put Jason any closer to wanting to help the vamps.

Jessica and Sookie make it to Bill’s house where they find Bill looking pretty normal and sitting on a chair on the porch.  Eric and Nora fly down and attack which ends with Eric being held by the throat looking as though Bill is about to kill him when Sookie STAKES BILL!! Yep stake right through the heart and ……. NOTHING.  Bill just looks mildly irritated and pulls it out.  Everyone is completely surprised but no-one (including Bill) seems to have any idea what these new powers are.  Jessica is scared but chooses to stay with Bill rather than leave with Sookie and there are lots of vamps growling at each other before Nora, Eric and Sookie finally leave Jessica and Bill to it.  Kinda bored with the vamps growling and snarling already.  Bit too wolfy for me.

Eric takes Sookie home and after a touching moment where Eric wishes she could be the fun girl in the white dresses he remembers to well writes, in blood, the house back over to her and then with tears the bitch RESCINDS his invitation.  How rude is that!  Outside Nora sees that Eric is in love with Sookie, something that she can’t understand and something that Eric makes quite clear is not up for discussion and neither is involving Sookie!

Pam and Tara make it back to the club and they have an argument because Tara wants to try and take Eric’s place and for just a moment it looks like Tara may have the upper hand.  WHAT??? Oh no just a moment there and Pam is back to her snappy self putting Tara back in her place.  Sadly only just in time for some kind of Swat club to swarm in and take Fangtasia under the governor’s new laws.  Tara tries to fight back but it hit with what seems to be some kind of vamp stun gun? Hmmm guess we will learn what the Green dots mean in the weeks to come.  Over all not looking good for Pam 😦

Back at Bill’s Jessica is in bed and they have a nice maker / progeny chat and we get to see that Bill has a whole bunch of new powers including freezing things in mid air.  Hmmmm he is trying to act as though he is trying to cope with the new powers the best he can but something is definitely off.  I guess we will see where these powers go.  Bill goes downstairs and is sitting reading a book when suddenly he starts getting flashes of visions and then BAM 3 Lilith type creatures in the corners of his room and they all rush inside him …. and it ends ..

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  I certainly enjoyed the premiere and love that everything other than the vamps had a back seat for the most part and I think we are in for one hell of a ride.  I say BRING IT ON!! 😀

V””V

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Favorite Lines From Who Are You Really

  • Pam – “Excuse me Bitch Sergent who the HELL are you and why are you telling us what the fuck to do”
  • Pam – “Honey I don’t know about the world but I am about to end your face!”
  • Pam – “I Hate the beach … fish piss and sand in your cooch”
  • Jason – “I am sick of you bloodsuckers brain raping me against my will”
  • Eric – “Apparently our siblings don’t get along …. the only reason yours is still alive is out of courtesy to you”
  • Arlene – “When you stick Mr Happy inside someone’s hoo ha without a raincoat on babies come out!”
  • Lafayette – “Wrong Place At The Wrong Fucking Time Outta Be My Middle Fucking Name”
  • Pam – “Honey, this isn’t going to be some epic fucking love story .. you can never replace Eric and you never will”
  • Eric – “Nora, My darling Sister …… Don’t stir this pot!”

True Blood Season 5 Ep 12 Save Yourself (Finale) Synopsis / Review V””V

So Fellow Trubies here we are at the Season 5 Finale.  How can 12 weeks have gone by so quickly!!! I will be the first to admit this season has had its ups and downs but I have to say Alan Ball certainly did us proud with his final writing instalment before he leaves the show. For the first time since the premiere there was yelling at the TV and finally a feeling that maybe this insanity WAS in fact leading to a plan.  Oh yes normal disclaimer blah blah blah  my spoiler reviews are long and detailed and this one may be even worse than normal due to total over excitement!  My favorite memorable lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), New for the finale …. Body / Goo Splatter count … and  new for this year HBO Go added online extras time stamps for each of them : Listed after the body count).

Hang on people because here we go! At the end of last week Russell was about to embark of destroying a HUGE buffet of fairy goodness having eaten the elder and now apparently being not able only to see the fairy club but also immune to all the light they are throwing at him.  Just when it looks like it might be curtains for all the little fae folk Eric appears from nowhere and whisks Russell away with a stake (piece of twig)  to the heart and Russell crumbles away in an explosion of all the light he has ingested and becomes goo splatter number one in what promises to be a very goo filled finale.  Awwwww Goodbye Russell … I for one will miss your insanity and the killing sprees which you love so much.  Hopefully you and Talbot can now be together again. Kudos to Eric though for finally getting the revenge he has been searching for for a Millenia even if you did save the fairies in the process.  I guess that was necessary *sigh*. So not even to the intro credits and already the body count has started!

With Russell goo and Steve running off into the woods, Sookie decides to come out to check on Jason who is still lying motionless by the tree he hit.  Nora appears and she can smell Sookie the fairy and she wants to eat her.  Part of me was just willing her to DO IT Mwahahaha but Eric steps in and despite Nora being very reluctant he makes her swear on Godric that she won’t eat her.  Hilarious!  Jason comes too and has obviously had quite a blow to his head because he sees Sookie as his mom … hmmmm that can’t be good.  Someone should check him for a concussion!

Over at the vamp headquarters Bill is still being tortured by the voice of Lilith telling him to drink but he is not yet convinced.  At the end of last week we saw him call for his breakfast and they were bringing Sam to him and that is where we pick things up.  When Sam appears he starts by berating his useless guards for not being able to tell the difference between a human and a shifter smell.  Hmmm maybe that explains why no one recognised that Sam and Luna were there after all.  We are used to competent vampires!  When Sam realises that there is no reasoning with Bill he turns into a fly and escapes providing much amusement for me as Bill jumps all over the place trying to catch him … and failing miserably.  He then decides a better course of action is to yell and scream at his useless guards for allowing the breach to happen, while Salome watches on,  and order that they scour the whole place for flies, mice, rats, fleas, in fact anything that moves and then kill it.  If that fails to turn back into a person then keep hunting! As the guards are dismissed we think he is going to tell Salome that Bill believes he is the chosen one but it seems we have underestimated Bill.  Instead he tells Salome that Lilith appeared to him and told him that Lilith appeared to him and told him that SHE was the chosen one and that he was to serve her loyally.  Hmmm Bill what are you up to??

Down in the cells (Vampire Pantry?) Sam reappears in fly form and transforms just long enough to tell Luna that Bill has lost his mind and that he is casing the place for a way out.  he tells Luna to just stay put but to shift and escape if the guards come for her and that Emma will obviously be safe as she is Steve’s pet.

Further along (perhaps in another sector) we see Pam and Jessica who have been placed in adjoining cells so are able to have some nice little girl talk.  Jessica tries to convince Pam that Eric has become caught up in the whole cult thing but Pam is not convinced. Bill she believes would join in a heartbeat as he is always looking for something to feel guilty about but Eric has always made fun of religion. Pam points out that she has seen this over and over but it is normally the humans doing it.  When Jessica points out that it has Bill so messed up he wasn’t even going to try to save Sookie because the book says she is an abomination Pam amusingly says that maybe there is something to this religion after all!!  Pam has consistently been hilarious through this whole season and this continues through the finale.  LOVE HER!

Eric and Nora, in the meantime, bickering like children, have headed to Fangtasia where Tara tells Eric that The Authority has Pam.  We get to see that Eric has been stashing money away for a looooooooooong time! I for one would DEFINITELY like access to that wall!! Nora is not happy about the plan to go and save Pam, who as she points out is just a former prostitute …. hmmmm watch it Nora …. I like you but things could definitely change! Even worse for Nora she finds out that Tara is family too so she has to, according to Eric, be nice to her! Oh much as Tara annoys me the look on her face at the moment was awesome!

Jason and Sookie have retreated to Sookie’s house where Sookie finally makes the sensible suggestion of taking Jason to the Emergency room to get checked out which seeing as Jason is not only seeing, but having conversations with his dead parents, may be a rather good idea.  Before any decisions are made though Eric, Nora and Tara come rushing in, which reminds Sookie that Eric never gave her the deed to her house back. Eric promises to do it tomorrow, if the survive the night.  Well that doesn;t sound too ominous now does it!  Eric needs Sookie to come and help rescue Bill and Jessica oh and Pam who Tara keeps pointing out that Sookie owes. Eric and Jason get into trading insults (Jason runs out first) and Nora is still obsessing over how Sookie smells and really not being much help at all.  Sookie eventually agrees despite Jason’s protests but “ghost daddy” Stackhouse (sorry couldn’t resist) tells Jason he could kill a lot of vamps in there so he says he is going too.  Eric tells him not t be a fool to which we get one of the classic Jason lines of the season … “If I want to be a fool then I will be a fool …. That is my god given right as an American!”

Daytime hits and we head over to Jackson to see watch Alcide and his dad have a little bonding time after their babyvamp killing the night before.  To be honest it all seems pretty pointless and getting us no closer to the obvious conclusion of Alcide trying to become Packmaster in Shreveport again but then Martha pulls up with Rikki thrown in the back seat and Rikki is not in good shape at all.  Apparently JD has been force feeding them all lots of V and Rikki is having a pretty bad reaction to it.  She can’t decide if she wants to fight or have crazy animal sex with Alcide but it is pretty clear that neither of those things are going to happen.  Luckily for everyone it seems that Alcide’s dad has this special stuff that will get the V out of her system mainly through her skin so she ends up looking like she is covered in blood (almost like a Lilith reject) and suffering from the worst hangover ever.  As Alcide learns all the things that JD has been up to (on top of the V feeding he has been forcing some of the younger wolves to have sex) he comes to the realization that he HAS to do something but he doesn’t know what.  Luckily it is daddy to the rescue with some special “High Quality” (I am assuming some very old vamp) V that he keeps in the fridge for just such occasions.  Alcide amazingly actually agrees that this is then only way to win. Hmmmm if he had just done that in the first place this whole storyline could have been skipped and left more time for the vamp goodness!

Jason and Sookie are taking advantage of the daylight to stock up at the now closed Stake Shop complete with their cargo of 3 vampires in their ultralight travel coffins thrown in the back of Jason’s truck with just a big tarp over them  Jason lets Sookie know that he is all about killing vampires at the moment.  ALL Vampires and that once they get into the Authority if it has fangs it is fair game.  Sookie doesn’t like this new Jason and tries to talk him out of it but with Ghost Mommy and Ghost Daddy filling his ears with how great he is doing Jason seems, at least for now, to be heading towards a kill all vampires crusade.  Not good! Let’s hope that he starts to see reason before they all have to work together.

Over at Merlottes Holly, Arlene, and Lafayette are taking advantage of the lack of customers (except of course Jane Bodehouse who seems to think she might have slept with Andy at some point in the woods …. well ok then lol) and are partying with some rather amazing drinks that Lafayette has made and a change in music rather than as LaLa loving calls it “Sam Merlotte’s Redneck Taste In Music”.  I have to say it has been GREAT to see Lafayette back with his pizzazz this season.  This is the LaLa we all fell in love with back in Season one and he has been a LONG time coming back to us!!  To ruin a perfectly good party though Andy comes in with his pregnant fairy Morella who apparently needs to just drink tons and tons of salt.  Very strange!  As Andy settles Morella with her salt he goes to try and explain things to Holly who can tell that things aren’t good.  After his confession, before poor Holly can even say what she thinks about it all Morella stands and announces, complete with glowing vagina, that her light broke!  As night falls, with poor Holly acting as midwife and Andy, Lafayette, Arelene and Jane watching on Morella proceeds to go into labor and let me tell you, fae labor looks a lot more fun than regular old human labor.  Morella was convulsing on the table with what can only be called “Laborgasms” rather than labor pains and a scream hitting notes high enough to break glass …. literally! We learn that Fae babies are born with no umbilical cords and apparently in multiples.  Andy ends up with 4 beautiful little girls and when Morella is done she gets up and goes to leave letting Andy know that the light pact has been fulfilled and now it is his job to make sure at least half survive to adulthood!! Oh Andy, what HAVE you gotten yourself into!!

Back at the Vampire Headquarters we get to see Bill and Salome in bed …. now I know I was asking for some more sex this season but UGH not them!!  Their sex looks so dull and uninteresting.  You would think after a couple thousand years that at least Salome would have a couple of tricks to show off.  *Sigh*.  Could they not have thrown in some Eric / Nora action instead?? Would that have been too much to ask?  Anyway while they are occupied as Rosalyn says “buttering each others biscuits ” Jason, Sookie, Eric, Nora and Tara are heading straight for them.  Eric is amusing as he appears in the car window, having woken up, hanging upside down and asks Jason to Pull Over .. Pleeeeaaaseeeee.  Too Funny!!

It all starts to get crazy now.  Sam has a plan to get Emma out which involves Luna skinwalking as Steve Newlin and then coming in to get Emma out to go for a walk.  All is going well and they free Emma (Sam hiding in fly form) but in the main entrance they run into Chelsea who is confused by Steve’s sudden loss of his Southern Accent.  Despite Luna/Steve trying to cover they are luckily saved by a very annoyed Rosalyn who can’t find any of the other chancellors and who is desperately trying to save the public relations nightmare going on.  I am not sure why exactly at this point they care what the humans think but apparently that is her job and she is sticking to it.  Complete with Steve(Luna) going up to do a TV appearance.  Poor Luna/Steve is freaking out a little and definitely does not look like the calm, I can sell anything, Steve Newlin that Rosalyn needs right now but as they are about to go live there doesn’t seem to be another option.

She may have wished that she had looked for one though as almost as soon as Luna/Steve starts talking she/he starts vomiting blood and shifts back into Luna! Right on live TV!  Will this be the opening for next season for the shifters to come out? Luna quickly tells the world that vampires have an underground headquarters in New Orleans and they are keeping humans as prisoners for food before Rosalyn kicks over all the equipment.  Rosalyn is FURIOUS and fangs out heads for Luna but Sam in fly mode flies into her mouth … and you guessed it … shifts in her throat causing her to explode and become the finale’s second pile of goo. So far that is 2 vampires down and you know this is just the start.  After a quick smile at Sam in relief Luna collapses. We all know bu now that skinwalking takes a toll but we don’t see anything else tonight so whether she will survive this latest escapade will have to wait until next season.  In my body count list I gave her a big question mark.

Quick time out here from all the vamp action to go to Shreveport where JD has captured a vamp and is about to feed the pack some more V when a very amped up Alcide comes in and doesn’t even wait for any conversation he just says that’s enough and starts beating the crap out of him. When another wolf looks like he is going to jump in Alcide’s dad jumps in and stops any interference and then Martha comes out with a shotgun to stop anyone else from interfering.  The fight is over quickly and Alcide rips out JD’s throat.  Hmmm well done Alcide.  He then goes on to give a great big long speech about the honor of the pack and that anyone that doesn’t like it has 24 hours to leave.  Blah Blah Blah … Yes I get it … well done Alcide … now back to the vampires!!!

Outside the vampire headquarters Eric and Nora drive up with Tara, Jason and Sookie apparently tied up in the back.  Bill gives them permissions to come in but not before the guard comments on how amazing the blonde smells.  Eric puts stop to that with a quick “She’s MINE!”  Oh not heard that for a while. So Salome is busy getting her sacred blood, which of course she can’t just drink, she has to create this whole big ritual, and Bill is in his room spying on all the surveillance videos, and our attack team are in the elevator arming up like a bad episode of Buffy but Tara has a nifty little gadget to blow out all the surveillance monitors.

The doors open and poor Chelsea realises something is wrong and just manages to hit the emergency panic button before Jason shoots her making her goo pile 3.  Now level 2 protocol is activated which I thought involved UV lights being triggered but Jason takes care of shooting out all the things in the ceilings which I thought were monitors but perhaps they stop the UV too?  Or maybe I am just remembering that wrong.  We do see the alarms going off in the cells too and no one is getting fried there either sooooo maybe that is only level one?  Of course I should go back and watch and check but I wanted to write this up today so I haven’t yet .. I may come back in and edit later …..

But I digress… Eric and Nora flash off to go to another room leaving Jason to take care of 3 more guards … splat splat splat before Sookie and Tara can exit the elevator and head down to the cells to find Jessica and Pam.

Eric and Nora are floating near the ceiling in the main meeting chamber and manage to take out a whole team of guards (12 I believe) in fangtastic style to bring the goo count up to 18.  Awesome!! Blood and goo everywhere!! LOVE IT!!!

Sookie and Tara go down to rescue Pam and Jessica but have to wait for Eric and Nora to disarm the system giving Tara the opportunity to splat yet another guard. Up to 19.  Not a good day to work for the Authority! Watching Eric and Nora bicker as they try and disarm the system was funny! They are so adorable together.  And their time taking gives Jason the chance to splat another vamp guard up in reception.  That makes 20!  When the doors to the cells can finally be opened Tara and Pam share a kiss that we have seen coming for a while now to a very triumphant “I KNEW IT” from Jessica!  Adorable!

While the chaos reigns in other parts of the building Salome is preparing to drink the blood in her little ritual.  Bill is there are seems to be trying to talk her out of it but Salome is set and says she trusts Lilith completely.  Hmmmmm turns out while she was busy trusting Lilith she should have been paying more attention to Bill who has apparently switched the blood out and spiked the new blood with a ton of silver. Ooooh Salome you silly silly girl.  For someone who is 2000 years old maybe you should have been a little more careful who you trusted.  And so Bill reveals that he has the sacred Lilith blood safe in a little vial and then stakes and turns poor Salome into another pile of Goo with the last words “Lilith Chose Wisely” (which I disagree with) making our splat total 21 and as predicted the rest of the Authority is no more … except Nora …. hmmmmm maybe they are keeping her around for some steamy scenes with Eric in season 6?  One can only hope!

As Bill finishes off Salome our band of renegades regroup in the lobby and manage to avoid Jason shooting them.  Jessica is so happy to see Jason but he pretty much breaks her heart telling her that he could never love a vampire.  Awwww poor Jessica :(.  The look that Pam and Eric says and the little Hello I thought was just amazing.  Those tiny actions speaking louder than a thousand words.  Fangtastic!  Eric tells them all to reload on the way up to the roof as there will be more guards waiting for them but then he and Sookie don’t get on the elevator.  They are going to try and save Bill, a plan which no one else seems very thrilled about but then the doors close.

Eric and Sookie find Bill standing over Salome’s remains and try and talk him into just getting rid of the blood but Bill is too far gone.  He says he only let them in in case he needed help finishing off Salome.  He says he has never cared for Sookie and she is an abomination.  Sookie is heartbroken and pleads with him to find what is left in himself but Bill is sick of apologizing and is ready to take control.  (Let me add at this point my husband was SCREAMING at the tv DRINK THE BLOOD DRINK THE BLOOD …. it was hysterical and he was rewarded because Bill does indeed drink the rest of the supposed blood of Lilith and I don’t think ANYONE could have predicted what happened next!!! Bill starts bleeding from everywhere and explodes becoming a great big BILL PILE OF GOO!!!!  NO WAY!!!!! Let me tell you the sounds in this house were hilarious.  My husband tugging on my arm saying did you see that coming, shocked gasps from my daughter, and me saying NO WAY!!!

Surely they wouldn’t kill off Bill right?? I mean I know the shock of killing off a main character but BILL???  Well Alan Ball had us fooled and totally ruined my whole “once you are goo you are gone” theory.  From the pile a good a large puddle of blood formed and from the blood formed BILL!  Just as Lilith rose from the blood earlier in the season Bill or as my lovely Lauren dubbed him “Billith” rose naked and with the biggest fangs (I mean these are FRANKLIN sized)  and he looks straight at Eric and Sookie …. and the season ends with Eric yelling RUN!!  

Run??? RUN??  How is she supposed to outrun Billith? Pick her up and RUN WITH HER!!!  And so ends yet another tumultuous season leaving us with the main questions being what on earth is going on with Bill now? And of course we still have no answers about Warlow.  How will Andy deal with 4 half fae babies, and is Luna going to make it.  Of course we have a year to wait ….. but yet Alan Ball left us a sneak peek online … only online after the credits rolled and now available on HBO Go and probably on YouTube ….. So I will leave you today with the details from that ……..

It is a scene in the elevator with the rest of the renegades getting everything reloaded and ready to stake more vamps.  Tara and Pam agree to go on a date (Awwwwww) and we see Jason look as though he is about to maybe freak out and take out all the vamps in there with him.  Before he can do something so stupid the doors open and they exit guns ready and fangs out.  As they head up some stairs (taking out another guard in the way … does that count in the numbers? lol) Jason says that he is coming for Warlow … to which Nora asks what he knows about Warlow letting us know that obviously at least Nora has some information on the subject so maybe Eric does too …. and THAT IS ALL WE GET!!!!!!!!!!   Oh it is going to be a LONG YEAR … and we all know WAITING SUCKS!!!!!

V””V

Memorable Lines From Save Yourself

  • Eric – “Well that felt even better than I thought it would!”
  • Nora – “OK I won’t eat her ….. swear on Godric”
  • Tara- “Are you sure this thing is light tight ….. it looks like Tupperware”
  • Jason – “If I want to be a fool then I will be a fool …. That is my god given right as an American!”
  • Pam – “Must all roads lead to fucking Sookie?”
  • Jason – “”That train has already sailed”
  • Arelene – “Who knew watching an Alien give birth could be so comforting”
  • Morella – “I honor what was, what is, and what will never be”
  • Eric – “See what you have been missing? Working for the fucking Authority?”

Season Finale Body / Goo Splatter Count

  • 1. Russell Edgington
  • 2. Rosalyn
  • 3. Chelsea the receptionist.
  • 4, 5, 6.  Three Guards by the elevator.
  • 7-18 … Whole Team Of Guards
  • 19. Prison Cells Guard
  • 20. Guard in reception
  • 21. Salome
  • 22. Bill …… but not for long

? I still have a big ??? About Luna ….. she was vomiting blood before she shifted back and we see her collapse.  Is it one skinwalk too many for her??

 

HBO Go – Extras

  • 01.11 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 01.25 – Unusual Refusal (Video)
  • 01.30 – An Ancient Feud
  • 01.38 – An Ancient Feud
  • 01.46 – An Ancient Feud
  • 01.54 – An Ancient Feud
  • 03.44 – Eternally Devoted (Video)
  • 05.20 – No Obstacles (Video)
  • 06.09 – Family Values (Video)
  • 08.24 – Unlikely Allies (Video)
  • 09.38 – Relive : A Special Connection (Video)
  • 10.58 – Jessica’s Vlog : Authority Prisoners (Video)
  • 12.18 – Selfless Sam (Video)
  • 13.29 – Challenge Accepted (Video)
  • 18.05 – Brotherly Love (Video)
  • 20.59 – Now Playing : Dazz performed by Beck
  • 21.57 – True Secret : Dueling DJ’s
  • 22.44 – A Rowdy Regular
  • 22.55 – True Secret : Faerie Cravings
  • 26.13 – Relieve : Absolutely, Totally, Unavailable.
  • 27.33 – Man on A Mission (Video)
  • 29.19 – Relive : Health Code Violations At Merlotte’s
  • 32.34 – Becoming Luna, Part 2 (Video)
  • 33.43 – True Trivia : Jane Bodehouse
  • 33.48 – True Trivia : Jane Bodehouse
  • 39.50 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 39.56 – Kaboom
  • 41.41 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 41.59 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 42.44 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 43.11 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 43.59 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 44.19 – A Long Time Coming (Video)
  • 47.21 – Friendship Hierarchy (Video)
  • 48.56 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 52.44 – Now Playing : Save Yourself performed by Stabbing Westward

True Blood Season 5 Ep 10 Gone, Gone, Gone Synopsis / Review V””V

Greetings and Salutations fellow Trubies (or my random blog followers). Major delay this week due to real life issues but here I am with my thoughts on Episode 10.  After last week I must say I had very high hopes for this one, with 2 of the less interesting storylines done and dusted, but sadly my hopes were not reached AND HBO did us out of another almost 15 minutes of screen time .. AGAIN!!!  Normally at this point there is a little disclaimer about my spoiler reviews and the length and detail they go into but I am assuming by now you all know it … and if not well you will soon find out. My favorite memorable lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and  new for this year HBO Go added online extras time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

This week starts with “News reports” about all the Tru Blood factory bombings and Steve Newlin spinning his little blurb about despite how vampire attacks are rumoured to be on the rise humans should feel safe and continue their lives as normal blah blah blah at which point we see Sookie watching the news and she shuts it off to sit down and eat the chinese she has ordered.  Funny I didn’t even know they HAD a chinese take-out in Bon Temps.  Well good thing for Sookie that they did as she gets a visit from Mike Spencer (coroner) who is here about the body.  After inviting him in a poor confused Sookie asks “what body” and Mike sprouts fangs and says YOURS!!!  Sadly for Mike this isn’t Sookie’s first vamp encounter and he meets the true death at the end of some pointy chopsticks.  Makes a change from a pencil I suppose.

Andy comes to investigate and the discussion starts off with how Mike would have loved the crime scene and a little reminiscing about how Mike was good for the town and ended up with how Mike wanted to suck Sookie’s toes and that he kept his porn with his autopsy photos. Well OK then. All in all it turns out that there won’t be an investigation as at the moment with everything going on, one less vamp to worry about is apparently a good thing….. so nothing new with Bon Temps law enforcement there then!

Over at Vamp headquarters poor techie Molly is about to receive the True Death at the hands of her own iStake invention for her part in the failed escape attempt last week.  They do give her one last chance to “accept Lilith” but Molly, after a moving little speech becomes the second vampire pile of goo this week.  Shame really. She did amuse me.  Steve is absolutely ECSTATIC about the whole thing having never actually seen a vampire meet the end before.  Salome is unamused by his little display but Russell enjoys it and decides they should all go out to eat. Salome again is not impressed but it becomes clear that Russell is fast growing bored of the whole “New Authority” idea unless it is the killing and eating side of it.  Well good for Russell because I have to admit I am a little bored with it too! Steve and Russell leave with a parting wish of Good Luck for dealing with Northman.

It seems that their plan for dealing with Eric is to make him trip out again by giving him some more of whatever is in that little vial of “Lilith” blood.  Wonder if we will ever get to discover what exactly that is?  Nora, very generously (insert eye roll here), offers to take the blood and share the trip with him. Oh how nice of her.  Yes that is a REAL sacrifice thereThey force the blood down Eric’s throat and then leave him and Nora to whatever vision they might have as Bill spies from another room on his little monitor.

And what a vision they share (although Bill can’t see it), Godric appears to both Nora and Eric and says a touching little piece and tries to convert Nora ….. and he almost seems to be convincing her until  Lilith appears and rips Godric  to shreds!!! Oooooh I didn’t see that coming! Can you kill a ghost? Vision? Hmmm well this is all just a little confusing.

Far less confusing, and rather sweet is the scene with Russell and Steve, dancing the night away to Katy Perry, covered in the blood of a cabin load of tourists they have just eaten. Awww these 2 really are a cute couple.  Russell is back on his Sun Walking kick so we know he is going for Sookie and Steve is right on board.  Actually at this point I think Steve would just do whatever Russell says!

Back towards Bon Temps we see Hoyt being driven home from the hospital by his mother and it seems that he has had a revelation following his almost getting eaten by a pig.  he is going to move to Alaska and start a new life. Well OK then.  Rather random but as Hoyt has been rather irritating this season that works for me.  In order for this to happen he decides he needs a meeting with Jessica and Jason to clear the air and what better place than Merlottes.  It seems, however, that he didn’t tell them who they were meeting and we see Jessica arrive first and almost get shot by 2 redneck hicks who are at the bar.  With a little intervention from the fabulous Lala and Sam all is under control and Jessica decides she is not going to eat the attackers after all but I don’t think they will be back any time soon.

Hoyt arrives and spills his whole “moving to Alaska” plan and the one thing he wants as a going away present is for Jessica to glamour away all memories of her and of Jason, including them growing up together. Now I suppose that this was supposed to be a really touching scene, and I am sure for many it was, but for me it was just filler and kinda pointless.  I am not really sure what they are up to here.  Is Hoyt really going to just leave and that’s it? Wow someone making it out alive when Alan Ball could add another one to his body count. Well I suppose there are still 2 episodes left.  We do see Hoyt driving off and Jason pulling him over to show us that oooooh Hoyt doesn’t remember him … yes Glamour works.  We get it.  Dull Dull Dull!

Merlottes is not the only bar having issues as Fangtasia is struggling to make any money which is not amusing new Sheriff Elijah.  He wants to bring in the equivalent of “peep show boothes” but instead of a show the vamp gets to bite a human for 30 seconds.  Pam is not amused by that and is even LESS amused at the idea that Area 5 has to produce 30 new baby vamps by the end of the year and if she fails to do so Elijah gets the bar AND Tara. Hmmm this isn’t going to end well.

Away from Elijah’s prying ears Tara offers to make a couple of babyvamps as after all she always wanted a couple of kids but Pam has other plans.  She says that Elijah can take Fangtasia, it is just a building, and she and Tara will take off and live in the wind just like Pam and Eric used to.  Well that sounds like a much better plan than Tara making a couple of new vamps *shudders*.

As it turns out Tara comes up with a plan all on her own. With the help of Ginger, she creates a “fake” emergency that she calls Elijah in to see saying that she is worried she had killed a human and didn’t know how to change her over.  Elijah looks unimpressed and bitches about Pam being a bad maker … and then he realises that Ginger isn’t even dead and that is when Ginger sticks a sword in him which distracts him just long enough for Tara to cut his head off!!!  Ginger starts screaming (Oh it wouldn’t be a season of True Blood without at least one screaming Ginger scene) and Pam comes running to see what the fuss is about and although she doesn’t seem amused you know deep down she is one proud mama vamp right now!

Daytime hits and Sookie is planning on going to stay with Jason for a while so he is helping her pack up some things and they discuss Gran’s message about looking “under the bed”.  Jason works out that it might be LITERALLY under the bed rather than in the box and sure enough he finds a floor board that can come up with an ancient scroll hidden there.  They take it to a university to be analysed and are told that the language appears to be made up at which point they realise what the rest of us already worked out.  It is written in Fae. So they take it to the fairy club where the pregnant Morella (hmmm Andy is going to have some explaining to do at some point) decipher it to let them know that basically Sookie has been promised to Warlow. Oops!! Well they have 2 episodes to either work that out or that will be one of the cliffhangers that they leave to annoy us for a year until season 6.

Sam and Luna are using the day to try and work out a way to get Emma back.  The pack has abandoned them and everyone else seems to think Luna is crazy (well they may have a point there).  Sam does manage to find where Steve is going to be doing a press conference that night though and assumes that Emma might be there with him and so they take off to New Orleans to try and attempt a rescue all on their own. Hmmmm 2 shifters against a whole load of vamps …… doesn’t sound like much of a plan to me but I guess it is the best they got!

They get to where the interview is being filmed but there is no sign of Emma, (because as we get to see she is back at the vampire headquarters with Russell), however, they do manage to find Steve’s cell phone complete with pictures of Emma on it and so they do what any good shifters would do ….. turn into mice and hide in his bag.  Now is it me or would you expect a vampire to be able to smell that not one but TWO shifters were just in the room with his stuff? I mean seriously? And with Rosalyn with him too? Surely ONE of them should have been able to smell them.  USELESS!!

In the meantime Russell sends Emma off with a babysitter (dog sitter?? wolf sitter?)  while a now subdued, and apparently converted, Eric comes in and apologizes to Russell.  So this is just getting weird now.  Is Eric playing along? Has he really converted to Lilith?  How has Alan Ball yet again taken what could have been a great storyline and dragged it out into dullness?? Anyway Eric apologizes and Russell looks … well let’s just say Russell obviously has ulterior motives but they are not clear quite yet.  A happy Lilith convert Russell definitely is not!

Jessica has been bought to the vampire headquarters under the order of Bill and he seems very happy to have her there. She quickly realises that something is not quite right but is smart enough to play along for now at least.  With her history of religious families and what she endured this is probably not going to be the best fit for her.

Steve returns (complete with shifter mice in his bag… which STILL no one is smelling …..) to find that Emma is not a puppy but is a human and he is not happy about it one bit and uses the old “Do you want Nigel to eat you” threat … hmmmmm parenting skills may need a little work there Steve!

In the boardroom Jessica is studying the “bible” as the rest of the vamps plan their next move which apparently is to get EVERYONE to read the vampire bible, old and new alike.  Russell is bored and wants to go find fairy blood and play in the light. Salome disagrees and says that they need to stay in the dark and threatens to put Russell back in the ground.  Oh no Salome … tut tut tut ….. you should know better than that but she doesn’t and Russell responds by throwing her against the wall.  Oh that is probably the most interesting thing that has happened this episode! Ugh she gets on my nerves!!! And so Russell has had enough and after threatening the WHOLE room of vamps and reminding them that he is 3000 years old and could kill them all!!! He takes off!!! (Leaving a very stunned room of vamps) Ooooh goody!!! Let’s hope he is off to cause some total mayhem for next week’s episode!

And there you have it ….. just 2 episodes to go and really the only questions seem to be … what is going to happen with Sookie and Warlow …. will he get to keep her as the contract says …. I am going to go out on a limb here and say probably not!! And then you have the vampires and their takeover of the world with their underground plan which is probably now going to go all to hell as Russell is bored and has gone off to do his own thing.  Oh and we are still in the dark as to whether Eric has actually converted or not.  I am going to go with no on that one too.  Still no real hot action this season *sigh* … no longer can we really refer to it really as vampire porn *pouts*……

V””V

Memorable Lines From Gone, Gone, Gone

  • Molly – “You are destroying the world based on a book that is thousands of years old. You call that evolved? That’s the opposite of evolved.”
  • Russell “Your religion has literally kept you in the dark. You can have your Lilith. I will not be constrained by your god or anyone else’s. I will have the sun!”
  • Sam – “I’m all out of True Blood but I got 2 new specials on the menu”
  • Tara – “You gotta help me … I don’t know nothing ’bout birthing no baby vampires”
  • Steve – “Emma … you know daddy doesn’t like it when you are human …. do you want Nigel to eat you?”
  • Russell – “Are we seriously sitting here discussing education reform? Are we vampires or school maams?”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 00.51 – Spin Doctor (Video)
  • 02.09 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 02.17 – How To Stake A Vampire In A Pinch
  • 02.21 – How To Stake A Vampire In A Pinch
  • 02.26 – How To Stake A Vampire In A Pinch
  • 02.31 – How To Stake A Vampire In A Pinch
  • 04.45 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 05.51 – True Secrets : Power Suits
  • 05.59 – Now Playing : Bread and Water performed by Caroline Horn
  • 06.08 – True Secret : Who Loves Maxine Fortenberry?
  • 10.08 – First Draft : Torturing Eric
  • 11.04 – Converting Eric (Video)
  • 12.21 – Godric’s Return (Video)
  • 13.17 – Unsteady Ground (Video)
  • 13.29 – Now Playing: Teenage Dream performed by Katy Perry
  • 14.01 – I’m Thinking Greek
  • 14.09 -An Older Man (Video)
  • 14.15 – Now Playing : Gone Gone Gone performed by Carl Perkins
  • 15.41 – Fear of the Unknown (Video)
  • 16.25 – Now Playing : Supertripper performed by Circuit Freq
  • 17.06 – A United Front (Video)
  • 22.57 – Parting Ways (Video)
  • 25.41 – Visit The AVL Website
  • 27.26 – A Real Good Guy (Video)
  • 27.48 – Attention To Detail
  • 28.32 – Second Look : Mysterious Scroll
  • 28.56 – Now Playing : Need A Little Help performed by Cree Rider
  • 30.09 – Andy’s Appeal (Video)
  • 30.15 – Jessica’s Vlog : Let’s Get Together And Feel Alright (Video)
  • 31.31 – Lafayette’s Lover
  • 34.33 – True Trivia : Go To Shifts
  • 34.38 – True Trivia : Go To Shifts
  • 34.43 – True Trivia : Go To Shifts
  • 37.47 – Bye Bye Bubba (Video)
  • 40.22 – New Bill, Old Bill (Video)
  • 40.27 – Now Playing : Heavens to Murgatroid performed by Acumen Nation
  • 41.03 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 41.08 – Relive : Deja Goo (Video)
  • 41.20 – Not In Our House (Video)
  • 44.32 – Your Roots Are Showing
  • 44.52 – Daddy Dogma (Video)
  • 45.45 – Relive : The First Time (Video)
  • 47.28 – Now Playing : You Know, I Know performed by John Lee Hooker

True Blood Season 5 Ep 2 Authority Always Wins Synopsis / Review V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans, here we are at Episode 2, Authority Always Wins! (For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet.  I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines)

This week’s episode picks up right where last week’s left off with crazy new vampire Tara attacking Sookie while Lafayette screams at Pam to DO SOMETHING!!!! To which she replies in typical Pam fashion ….. “I am … I’m laughing!!” Hilarious! She does, however, step in once it looks like Tara is about to drain Sookie dry and grabs her off all the time complaining that she has better things to do and can’t be dealing with Tara all night.  She tells Sookie her part is over, she “made her” and now it is up to Lafayette and Sookie to deal with her.  Pam does issue a maker command forbidding Tara to bite either of them so that might help a little.

After throwing her in the house and telling her to stay there Pam takes off and Tara reacts like a caged animal smashing up everything in sight with her new-found vampire strength. Poor Gran’s kitchen is never going to get a break is it!  Sookie and Lafayette decide they have to go in and talk to her which is going to be easier said than done. When Tara takes a break from totally destroying the place to perch like a predator on the sink, Sookie tells Lafayette to “Grab Her!”.  The look on Lafayette’s face is just priceless!!! Oh Nelson Ellis is a GENIUS!!! LOVE HIM!!!!  But anyway grabbing her is a failure and she takes off upstairs to find new things to smash leaving Sookie and Lafayette to wonder what to do next.

This next part actually takes place much further into the episode but I am going to keep it all in blocks together this week because that is the kind of mood I am in lol (That and Mr Ball actually has just a couple of stories going on so it is a little easier to do at the moment).  Sooooo Sookie realises it is getting near dawn and they need to get Tara down into Eric’s cubby.  At this point it is pretty clear that reasoning with her is not going to be an option so instead they concoct a crazy scheme where Lafayette goes in and cuts his arm to distract her and then Sookie catches her around the neck with a silver chain.  Amazingly enough it actually works and they manage to get her into the safe place for the day.  

Over in a yet undisclosed location (We learn later it is in New Orleans) the “Authority” is arriving at their headquarters with prisoners Eric, Bill, and Nora.  The outside looks like a huge abandoned warehouse but once we go inside we see that it is in fact a fully kitted out secret vampire headquarters complete with secret doors that open with a “blood key” and technology that looks as though it may belong more in a mission impossible movie than in True Blood.  Once through the “cover” part of the warehouse you get to see a vast underground operation complete with reception desks, people milling about trying to look important with various files, in fact it reminds me a lot of Wolfram and Hart from the old episodes of Angel.  We get to meet Salome (one of the Authority) who thought Eric would be taller *Rolls eyes* and she is unimpressed by Mora’s claims that she would never betray them calling her words fairy tales.

The three “traitors” are tossed in to vampire prison cells where we get to meet a very deformed looking vampire who apparently likes to eat babies (so probably a good thing he is in there then).  It soon becomes clear that the reason for his deformity is an overhead UV light that they Authority throws on when it wants information that the vampires may be unwilling to give up.  Oh and it isn’t just your personal cell that gets zapped, oh no they zap the whole block as we find out when Bill tries to take the blame for everything on himself.  The Authority isn’t buying that at all (probably because it is a total lie) and everyone gets zapped a couple of times (not that it seems to do any good … they still aren’t talking and baby eater looks like he has been zapped so many times he can’t even heal anymore).

Back in the woods where we left Alcide last week with the crazy wolf pack eating Marcus’s body things are not going well because Alcide doesn’t want to be pack master and he sure doesn’t want to join in with the eating.  Martha thinks this is totally disrespectful and Alcide really couldn’t care less.  He just wants to leave.  Despite many insults he refuses to be goaded into a fight. Luna takes Sam home and we see them later that night at Luna’s house as she cleans him up.  When Luna goes to check on Emma Martha appears at the door and claims she just wants to talk.  Luna comes back and is unamused especially when Martha reminds her that she is Emma’s grandmother.  She points out that when Emma turns she is going to need a pack because she is a wolf although Luna is holding on to the hope that Emma will be a shifter.

They make Martha leaves and Sam becomes Luna’s point of attack when Sam suggests that he is looking out for what is best for Emma too.  Luna has obviously taken some psycho pills and totally flips out and tells Sam to leave. Later that night we get to see that Emma is in fact a wolf … as she has turned into the cutest little wolf cub and is sitting there as a cub in Emma’s PJ’s!!!

Over at Fangtasia, Pam has returned to find Ginger upset that she had to open by herself but Pam is more worried that there is no news at all from Eric and she calls to leave him a voicemail. This cues into a flashback to Pam in San Francisco in 1905 where she is working in a brothel.  We get to see a little of Pam’s former life with her finding one of her fellow “girls” dead in a room before she heads out into the streets.  There she gets accosted by a man with a knife who doesn’t want to wait until the next day to sample her pleasures.  Eric rushes to the rescue looking very dapper in a top hat and Ascot and promptly slashes the man’s throat with his own knife splattering Pam with blood in the process (not that she seems to bothered).  A quick comment from Eric about Pam not being scared and Pam replying that she has seen a lot of death and Eric vanishes into the night at super vampire speed leaving Pam alone looking on with wonder.  I was hoping we would get more of this story tonight but I guess Alan Ball know’s he has us hooked and so will be dragging this out!

Over on the other side of town there are problems of a different kind for Terry and Arlene.  Now that Patrick is back it seems to have triggered some kind of major PTSD breakdown for Terry who we find just standing in a trance by the bed until Arlene finally manages to get his attention enough for him to then lay down and go to sleep and then later he attacks Arlene while they are at work before he realises what he is doing!  Arlene can’t take it and goes to see Patrick and ask for his help which Terry is very unamused about but it sets us up for Terry and Patrick to go off on a little adventure to try to sort out “ghosts from the past”.  I imagine over the next couple of weeks we will get to learn more about what we saw in the sneak peek.  Hmmmmm would be nice if Rene felt like making another appearance!

Daytime hits and Jason and Andy are investigating an abandoned car .. which turns out to belong to Debbie Pelt. Oh you know that isn’t going to work out well!!  Andy finds “V” in the car but does the right thing and gives it to Jason rather than drinking it.  Looks like he really is trying to change.  Back at the station Andy deals with that little “ticket” issue from last week and Jason gets a visit from “Crazy Sharon’s” son who informs him that because Jason slept with his mom their family is now splitting up.  This obviously gives Jason pause for thought, well as much pause as Jason ever has, and Andy takes the kid out with a warning to Jason to stay away from Holly.

Sookie is taking the opportunity to visit the “Stake House” and stock up on various “Anti Vampire” supplies.  The best of these looks like one of those air fresheners that sprays as you walk past, only instead of spraying some nice smelling scent actually sprays colloidal silver guaranteed to cause severe burning to any vampire that comes into contact with it. You also get a glimpse at the “old Sookie” powers coming back into play with her reading  the shop clerks mind and making him uncomfortable by mentioning what she had heard.  So she goes back home to set it up and is just finishing when she has to stop Lafayette from staking Tara while she is at rest for the day.  Sookie promises that it will get better and that they will make it work and explains how bad Jessica was in the beginning.  Lafayette  doesn’t look convinced but does leave Tara alone and hands over the stake.  At the end of the day he may end up regretting that because when Tara wakes for the night she informs them both that she hates them for what they let her turn into and then she takes off running but not before she sets off Sookie’s new security silver getting her nicely burned.  So Tara has run off into the night going who knows where… that can’t be good

Back over at the Authority Headquarters the prisoners have been split up and it is interrogation time.  We get to learn that the Vampires have a bible and believe that they were in fact made in God’s image when Lilith was created and that Adam and Eve were created for food.  They have Bill and Eric strapped up to a device similar to the injections used on death row but in this case it injects silver.  Bill’s interrogator (Dieter) reminds me of a misguided priest and their whole discussion was at least fairly interesting and Bill didn’t fall for the old “Eric already told us everything trick” so ended up in complete agony from the silver.  In the other room Eric has the “pleasure” of Salome for his questioning.  She reminded me of a very poor imitation of Lorena and Alexander Skarsgard completely dominated the scene with perhaps more pain being felt when he thought that they had killed Nora than from the silver being injected into his veins.  Either way the whole process was rather futile and the prisoners were returned (somewhat damaged) to their cells.

Over at last years vampire headquarters (Also known as Bill’s Mansion) Jessica is in full party mode although is looking rather bored with it all as she holds a keg above a college students head as she “chugs” away.  Perhaps more amusing was when she dropped the keg to go and usher a girl who is about to vomit out of the house with a look of pure annoyance.  As she opens the door to throw the girl out there is Steven Newlin who invites himself in and joins the party.  Oh he is hilarious!! The dancing, the high fives, all totally ridiculous but enjoyable to watch.  Jessica quickly gets to the reason Steve is there and they head into the office to talk.  It turns out that Steve wants to “buy” Jason for $10,000.  Jessica finds this rather amusing and ups the price to $20,000 with negotiating skills debating Jason’s butt!!  Steve is eventually convinced but then Jessica laughs and says that she doesn’t sell her friends.  This annoys Steve and he tries to attack her and pulls her hair (yes he fights like a girl) but Jessica is stronger and throws him out with his parting remark that Bill is no longer the king!  Jessica then throws all the annoying humans out too!!

Jason goes to visit Hoyt who is back at his mother’s house which apparently means Hoyt has to prove he is a man by dropping the fuck word as many times as possible in the shortest space of time.  Maxine is unamused but makes a show of sticking up for Hoyt and throwing Jason out all while secretly thanking Jason for splitting Hoyt and Jessica up and promises to bake him a pie …. as she yells at him and throws him out the door.  Personally I am over Hoyt moping around and his whole sulky attitude and am I the only one that remembers in Season 1 Jason and Hoyt  weren’t that close with Jason yelling at him for calling him Jay?  It was only after Rene died that they suddenly became best friends and then a whole new back story seems to have been invented.  Hmmmmm just a thought …..

Finally we finish the night back at the Authority headquarters where we finally get to see Christopher Meloni’s debut as the leader of this strange organisation (Roman).  They are conducting some kind of “vampire mass” which incorporates a lot of very interesting vampire law but sadly in my opinion this new vampire leader just doesn’t really work for me.  With so many powerful performances he really needed to have an “edge” to him that i felt was lacking.  I just didn’t believe him in the role.  Actually almost all of the Authority was kind of just blah.  The child seemed like a child rather than an ancient trapped in a childs’ body, Salome, as I already mentioned comes across as a pale imitation of Lorena, and over all I feel this was an opportunity lost.

Eric and Bill let it be known that whether they meet the true death or not Russell is out there and overall the Authority agree that they might need to use them to try and get this little problem sorted despite Roman’s overwhelming desire just to stake them.  For a governing body that seems to have so much access to everything you would have thought they would have been tapping Eric’s phone at least so that they would already know this but I guess this was seemed a little more dramatic.

Oh and right at the end we see Russell, still a little dried and crispy with bodies strewn on the floor around him but he is healing ….. and when he does … LET THE FUN BEGIN :D!!!

On the plus side the vampire theme is definitely continuing to be a governing force so far this season (although we are only 2 episodes in) and I have hopes from the previews that this will continue.  I am glad that Nora wasn’t killed and I am hoping for some more Eric / Nora action in the future!!! … Until next week ……………….

V””V

Memorable Lines From Authority Always Wins

  • Lafayette – “Do Something!” Pam – “I am … I’m Laughing!!!”
  • Sam – “She just lost her son”   Luna – “She just ATE her son!!”
  • Jason – “That’s getting to eat the pie without having to pay for the cow … it’s a win win”
  • Redneck Clerk at Stake House – “It Burns It Burns … I’m gonna leave you alone and go eat your neighbour”
  • Steve Newlin – “I’m here to tell you, Jesus loves vampires. I mean, anyone who’s been dead for three days knows where we’re coming from.”
  • Jessica – “Hey Idiots, you’re boring me …. .go back to your human lives before I eat you!”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 00.53 – A Maker’s Power : Commanding
  • 01.24 – Learning To Vamp (Video)
  • 01.54 – A Maker’s Power : Calling
  • 02.14 – A Maker’s Power :  Releasing
  • 02.34 – A Maker’s Power – Sixth Sense
  • 04.00 – True Secret : Made to Order
  • 07.26 – Base Instincts (Video)
  • 09.47 – Best Scene Ever (Video)
  • 10.19 – Now Playing – Hat and Cane performed by Adam Saunders and Mark Cousins
  • 11.30 – Before She Was Turned (Video)
  • 11.48 – Call Me (Video)
  • 16.25 – Hothead Lovers (Video)
  • 17.31 – True Story – Tara’s Brain
  • 19.17 – Relive – Only Good On The V
  • 19.32 – Second Look : The Stake House
  • 20.09 – True Story – Redneck Casting
  • 23.59 – High Stakes (Video)
  • 24.39 – Power Hungry (Video)
  • 24.51-  First Draft : Airport Bait
  • 25.17 – True Law (Video)
  • 26.08 – Relive : Another Notch In The Bedpost
  • 27.22 – True Love :Dressed To Kill
  • 28.29 – True Secret : The Real Pam
  • 32.28 – Bible Thumpers (Video)
  • 33.54 – Good Cop or Bad Cop
  • 35.13 – It’s Complicated (Video)
  • 35.24 – Now Playing – Hang It Up performed by The Ting Tangs
  • 35.36 – Trespassers Will Be Staked
  • 36.15 – True Secret – Sweet Moves
  • 37.53 – Buns of Platinum (Video)
  • 40.54 – The Fixer (Video)
  • 42.31 – Mama’s Boy No More (Video)
  • 43.16 – Second Look : Dangerously Cute
  • 45.59 – Meeting The Guardian (Video)
  • 47.47 – Vamp Govt. 101 (Video)
  • 50.47 – Trouble With Authority
  • 52.12 – True Secret : The Near Stake

True Blood Waiting Sucks …. Season 5 Sam / Luna Clip … Spoilers!!! V””V

Shifters, and Brujos, and Weres … Oh My!!! Or should the question really be OH WHY??? Why is Alan Ball and HBO deciding to torture us after such an AMAZING first Season 5 Sneak Peek Clip (Click Here to see both the clip and my obsessive second by second thoughts about it) which was packed full of delicious, vamp filled action.

So this is what we got for this week ……..(Thanks to TheTrueBloodSource for the merged clip including the HBO Go Extras)

Sam and Luna sitting on a couch discussing who would want to hurt them … hmmmmmmm let me think …. I am going to go with the WHOLE PACK OF WOLVES left after you killed their Alpha Marcus, (not really a huge loss – smarmy little man he was), ex lover of Luna and father of her daughter.  Yes overall I am going to say they are probably not too happy with you.  So we see Sam going out and there is a gunshot.  Big Deal.  Chances are they either 1 – shooting it in the air to get attention or 2 they shot him in the leg / any other non fatal area, because they aren’t going to kill Sam off oh and if they do … well one less shifter storyline to follow lol.

What I want to know is WHERE ARE THE VAMPIRE CLIPS!!! True Blood used to be referred to as vampire porn.  If nothing else the storylines were vampire-centric and most of the focus was around them.  I want THAT True Blood back!!! I am a vampire lover and I need my vampire fix!!!!  The sneak peek promised us new vampires, leaked spoilers have talked about “The Authority” coming to town and the vampires involved in that.  They still need to sort out Pam and Eric (Them being on the outs is not working for me and just doesn’t make any sense!), oh and talking of Pam …. is she cured now?  Are they going with the old – the witch died and the curse died with her back up plan?  Since Ginger started giving her the “cosmetic” injections which Dr Ludwig herself assured us all would not CURE the curse just fix the cosmetic issues we have heard nothing about it.  An Oversight? Something else to just add to the list of things we will never know?? Annoying!!!

Then of course there is the whole issue of King Russell coming back!! I for one would be happy to see a clip of what he is going to be getting up to!! Will he team up with Bill and Eric with their new hatred of all things Authority?  (after all they are going to be wanted Vamps now having staked Nan), or will KRE be after them as well making it more a Bill and Eric against them all kind of feel?  Either way there is obviously a cornucopia of vamp storyline to come so why oh why HBO can you not throw us out just a LITTLE treat and instead of showing us Terry, Alcide, Lafayette, and now Sam and Luna (Or yes Sookie was in there too … big deal), CAN WE PLEASE SEE A VAMP!!  ANY VAMP!!! At this point I don’t care which one.  Yes your video on “Mistakes Vamps Make” (See video HERE) was hilarious and I have watched and laughed over and over, but let’s be honest … you could have released that several months ago as an aid in the whole long True Blood Hiatus that we all suffer every year. That doesn’t count as a Season 5 sneak peek and that’s what I want.

And that is where we are … the countdown is on … under 7 weeks to go … and WAITING STILL SUCKS!!!!

V””V