Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!
I am going to start by saying I think this was, perhaps, my least favorite episode so far this season. For me there was way to much Shifter stuff, Pack problems, Terry trauma, and Fairy fuss!! Overall I found it to be rather dull, especially considering the teaser that we got to see last week, but hope that there is at least some kind of reason for this stuff and possibly an excuse …… I mean explanation from some pretty GLARING continuity errors!!!
We start this week very briefly seeing Eric dealing with Nora’s death and by dealing I mean basically saying screw you Billith I am not helping you or your stupid cause. You failed to save Nora so now I will do my own thing even if you float me around the ceiling like a kite and act like you are a big bad vampire at the end of the day you are just Bill and you are weak! And Bill proves him right and ends up letting him go. One of the better moments of this week’s episode but sadly over before the opening credits roll with Bill “slamming” (worst door slam ever) the door behind Eric as he takes off into the night. Now at this point hopes are high that Eric is going to be bad and vengeance driven this episode but sadly we see very little of him other than now and his reappearance at the end. Hey at least I am warning you now … I sat through the whole episode to learn this!
Credits done and we go to Alcide and his little pack dilemma. Yes I know I don’t really care either but hey it was in there. So Rikki has Nicole and Mom all tied up and presents them to Alcide as very much not dead and then when Alcide reminds her that he is in fact packmaster Rikki challenges him to a fight … to the death. She even manages to get a couple of seconds … the little bitch that they had the three way with and … ummmmmm well a very strange looking blonde reminding me yet again why wolves are just not my thing. Stupid fight where Alcide kicks both their asses (yep the girls cheat) and whilst I would normally be completely against any man hitting a woman … Rikki really did ask for it … and she is a wolf … and oh yes I don’t care but PLEASE get this story over with. So they fight and Rikki loses but we don’t actually know whether Alcide kills her or not. Well OK we do because it’s Alcide .. and even asshole Alcide that has been around this season won’t be doing that.
Over at Vamp Camp Willa wants to try and save Jason from being Violet’s chew toy but Tara talks her out of it. At least Tara seems to have a handle on the whole vamp hierarchy now …. or maybe it is just the jail hierarchy that she has the hang of. Either way it was a smart decision on her part. Violet has decided that Jason is “hers” and apparently this to her means forever. A concept Jason is not too thrilled about but hey at least she isn’t going to be passing him around for favors so bonus for him. Honestly I am bored with her already. Even her whole I am a real medieval catholic with real values speech was just annoying. The only amusing part was when Pam asked to talk to her while she was feeding (in what appeared to be a morgue drawer???… no idea why THAT was in the general population room) but that amusement was down to Pam’s attitude and not hers. Overall I hope she dies because otherwise I see another long drawn out Crystal time situation occurring and we certainly don’t need that cropping up again!
Back in Bon Temps Sookie is at the graveyard and yet again seems to have a complete handle on what she can do with her powers right down to telepathically talking to Warlow (I am dropping the Ben bit) before she returns to Fairy land (which this week seems to have sparkly things everywhere almost like icicles you hang on a Christmas tree everywhere) and ties him back to the gravestone with some vines. You know if he has enough control to make the decision to do that …. and then she is going to feed him when she gets there anyway …. why bother with the tieing him up in the first place. Oh wait I got it …. you didn’t tie him up before you left last time because it wasn’t needed for the story … but this week it is so just tie him up and leave him that way ….. indefinitely. Yep GREAT plan *rolls eyes*. Anyway I am jumping ahead a bit … so they are there and Warlow makes a nice point that Bill is a liar and so just because he says he won’t kill Warlow after he saves the vamps doesn’t mean it is true and he is going to want a little more assurance, so if he helps the vamps Sookie has to become his fairy vampire princess bride. Sounds fair enough to me! But Sookie needs time to think about it and zaps herself back to Bon Temps where Eric is waiting, hiding behind a tree, and sees her just appear. Once she leaves Eric goes to the spot she just came from and waves his arm around obviously trying to sense what is there. Whether Eric can tell or not is unsure but Warlow certainly can as the whole realm he is in suddenly goes dark. Interesting ……. OK not really … it is exactly what happened when Bill was near in season 4 with the whole fairy thing. At least time doesn’t seem to be distorted now … or maybe the writers just forgot that part……Oooooh maybe Warlow can control it … what??? They are making up new rules every single week with no regard to what has happened before!!! Almost as bad as the last Sookie book!!! (Hey they make a reference to it in a bit so why can’t I).
Back to Vamp Camp and Jessica and James are basking in the afterglow of their little fling last week. They really are kinda cute together. James is by far the most interesting new vampire for me this season although even he annoys me this week. I guess when Jason got escorted off they were just left in the room and no one thought to check. Well OK then. But it doesn’t last long as just as they are about to have a little more fun the guards burst in….. of course no one questions how they happened to be there just split them up and take them back. In the hallway they meet Pam who is leaving the psychiatrists office having exchanged sex (which she describes as Oozy but productive) for her release back into general population.
She arrives just in time for the big announcement. Tru Blood is now available for all and they will all be getting their own bottle. Obviously those in the know are not too thrilled about this and don’t drink but sadly those in the know include James ….. who can’t keep it to himself and takes pity on the poor Steve Newlin (who almost gets bullied out of his bottle anyway until the guards intervene) and tells him not to drink it either. UGH James you stupid stupid boy!! What are you thinking? We all know this is going to end badly … and it does!!! When Sarah finds out that certain vamps aren’t drinking the their spiked drinks she immediately asks if Steve is one of them and then tortures him by having him run on a giant hamster wheel under the threat of UV light. Steve, being the spineless cry baby that he is soon gives up all he knows and that he got the info from James without ever being touched by evil UV rays. So pathetic. He is SUCH a 4!!!! With the new info Sarah comes up with a new plan. All those that refuse to drink will be escorted to the white room, which we soon see is the room from Bill’s visions, the room where they all meet the sun. This is not good. We get to see Steve and James put in there and Steve sobbing and crying to Sarah …. yep because that is going to help Steve! We don’t, however get to see what happens to them until later.
In the meantime Sam has returned to Merlottes and is greeted by Alcide who lets him know that he has returned Nicole and her Mom who were kidnapped by the crazy Rikki. Looks like Alcide is back to the old Alcide and no more pack for him. Yep knew he wouldn’t kill Rikki. Shame .. she totally deserved it. So Alcide heads off to drink in the bar while Nicole and her Mom have a drink with Sam in his trailer. Yes all very dull ….. Nicole’s mom doesn’t feel safe (sensible woman) but she still goes off to bed. Nicole and Sam have a moment outside and he starts smelling her hair ….. OK you know that means something shifter based and sure enough when he is in the bar talking to Alcide (yep they are all friendly again) Alcide mentions it and it becomes quite obvious that Nicole is pregnant. YAWN!!!!! What happened to Luna being the love of his life? It has been just a few days and yet he is all ready to move on with everything. Damn shifters!
Moving on to more stuff that I am totally done with … the whole Terry mess. Arlene is nicely hung over but Lafayette has a nice plate of greasy breakfast for her (and it looks GOOD … I love fried bread …. not something I have seen much of since moving from England ….. my husband was trying to insist that Lafayette had in fact made Grilled Cheese but I know I was right .. and it was breakfast …. yes I know totally off topic but still more interesting to me than this storyline) …… So yes Lafayette made breakfast and then broke the news about the life insurance. Adelyn was listening in to Arlene’s head and hears that all is not good in there with lots of guilt to go around including some thrown the young fairy’s way as she needs to stop being in people’s head. This gives the cue for both of them to storm off unhappy (very important for later that Adelyn be alone).
I am going to wrap all the Terry from this week up here because … well honestly not a lot of it makes sense … I mean last week I was moaning that Arlene seemed to have buried him already … this week we go to the funeral home to plan things. And it is all a little ridiculous. Old Mrs Bellefleur is there (now I am assuming it is meant to be Caroline????… yep checked the credits .. it is but they got a new actress… and she is NOT as good) and she wants a full 21 gun salute because that is how they do things which I agree with Arlene is in rather bad taste in this case. Arlene goes outside but eventually calms down and the funeral is set and even though she worked out who shot him Andy convinces her that if she presses him to investigate the life insurance won’t pay out so better to just pretend nobody knows anything. So bored with this whole thing. Seriously .. OVER IT!
Sookie visits Bill, in the daylight, and they have a little chat in which Bill basically tells her to hurry up and just do it already and he doesn’t care about her little issues and that the deal sounds quite fair which comes as a bit of a shock to little Miss Sookie who was obviously expecting a little more sympathy. But we all know she is going to do it .. but first a little stop via Merlottes where she successfully manages to interrupt Sam trying to get Nicole to stay (it wasn’t hard he asked she said yes but Mom was not amused) and whisk Sam off to his office where she shows him her little light ball and then drops the bom that she always thought they would end up together. Way to mess with the guy Sookie!! (And yes totally ripped from the last book!!!). Sam, to his credit, is not in the mood for this Sookie drama and so poor Sookie runs off and we get an agonizing hour (well actually it is more like 5 minutes but seriously when watching it it FELT like an hour) of Sookie talking to her parents’ gravestones and then painstakingly getting ready, leaving a voicemail for Jason (Niall is missing, Terry is dead, the funeral is in the morning I will save you a seat, sorry to leave this in a voicemail), until she eventually arranges to meet Bill that evening.
In other day time romps, Holly has called her sons and had them go and take Adelyn out for the day (complete with a big bottle of booze … I am betting Holly didn’t count on that one) and off they go to get drunk. Skip ahead to the night and one brother is pretty much passed out while the other decides to get hot and heavy with the young fairy. All is going well (especially for the brother that manages to get Adelyn’s top off) until Eric appears. Pulling her top on as she goes Adelyn takes off running while Eric glamours the 2 brothers in to forgetting that he was ever there and (with a smirk) forgetting that Adelyn was ever there too even though it means for the one brother he has to forget he managed to get a girls top off … he even apologizes for taking that memory away. With the boys safely glamoured Eric is free to take off after the fairy girl and with his speed he catches her (and drinks from her quite deeply) but as we see her running down the road only to be picked up by Andy we know that he doesn’t kill her.
Back to vamp camp and the best Sarah Newlin scene ever!!! Sarah is slowly unravelling as everyone is asking for the Governor but it is when the Tru Blood exec turns up and forces her way despite Sarah’s best “we are both strong women plea” in to the camp that everything really gets good … I mean goes wrong. With Sarah chasing the exec wildly through the corridors the exec soon realises there is something very wrong going on in that place with screams that she needs to inform the FDA….. oh honey that is the least of your problems right now!!! Sarah chasing her down in ridiculously high heels is awesome and the fighting is pretty good too. So glad they decided not to go for the typical girl fight, hair pulling etc, but Sarah finally gets the exec to the ground and starts slamming her head into a metal grate … right about the male general population room who rush to lick the blood that is pouring from the execs head to their floor below. To finish things off, Sarah grabs the exec’s ridiculous high heel leopard print shoes and slams it into her head screaming DIE DIE DIE … and when she does … Sarah sinks back and thanks Jesus. In a not so good episode this was definitely a highlight and very unexpected. Not good for Sarah and her crazy vamp camp but great viewing pleasure.
While all that is going on my the male general population area back in the female area Violet is called out for not drinking her Tru Blood. Her excuse that Jason is keeping her fed doesn’t wash with the guards but as Violet is yet to know about the Tru Blood problem she is quite happy to go get hers …. until Tara opens her big mouth and says that by Violet drinking that their Jason problem will sort itself out. Of course Violet hears and so wants to know why they aren’t drinking it and so the result is Violet, Jessica, Tara, Willa and Pam all end up in the white room where we see that Steve and James are in fact still alive … but Jessica recognizes the room and realizes that is where they are all going to meet the sun as seen in Bill’s vision. Even Pam looks worried!
So quick Time Out here before I get to the finale part (where I will have even more questions) …… I want to talk about Hep V for a minute ….. now I know Nora got a nice big syringe worth straight into the veins but she then lasted less than 48 hours but she was 600 years old AND was boosted with Bill’s blood. So why are NONE of the vamps, even the weakest level 4’s showing ANY symptoms yet? Doesn’t make sense to me. Surely they would at least look a little sluggish? Hmmmmm doesn’t quite add up for me. Probably just an oversight although even in upcoming previews we are not seeing any signs of the virus spreading through the system. *sigh*. Does anyone else ponder these things??
OK back to the show and Sookie is once again in full command of her Fairy powers and tells Bill to hold her hands so she can transport them both to Fairy Land where Warlow is waiting. Hmmmmm OK. Sadly for them when they get there they see Warlow is still tied to the gravestone but definitely not looking too well…. he has been completely drained … but we know he isn’t dead as he is a vampire and not a pile of goo. Sookie has no idea what happened but Bill just says one word …. ERIC!!!! and roll credits … and show an awesome preview for next week ……
Now here is my problem …… The whole drinking fairy rules seem to have changed. In Season 4 when Eric drank a fairy he got nicely, and very amusingly drunk …… Jessica drank 4 fairies … and kinda sorta got high (she was a miserable drunk / high though) and nowhere near the level that Eric did … now is this because she drank baby fairies? We know that Sookie’s blood tastes great and allows temporary day walks but no drunk feeling …. because well we assume she is part fairy?? So what is the deal here? How did Eric get into Fairy land?? Just because he drank some fairy blood??? If that is the case Bill drunk Warlow’s blood which is obviously far stronger, AND we already know gave him a connection to him and yet Bill couldn’t find his way there but Eric could? Dear writers can you just make up a set of rules and stick to them? That would be much appreciated and would save me having to mull over these things for a ridiculously looooooong time and not come up with any answers BECAUSE YOU KEEP CHANGING THINGS!!!!
That being said I want it to be Sunday now …. because WAITING SUCKS!!!!!
My Favorite Lines From “Dead Meat”
- Pam – “yes from everything I know about her she seems like the sharing type!”
- Andy – “You aren’t even 2 weeks old so no I will not get you some coffee”
- Bill – “It seems really quite fair …. he would be doing us a rather large favor”
- Nicole’s Mom – “May I ask how old YOU are Silver Fox”
Andy – ” I am trying to decide if it’s going to be more uncomfortable for me in here or out there”
- Sarah – “DIE DIE DIE …… thank you Jesus”
- Sookie – “Destiny is too much of a bitch to keep fighting”