The darkness has always called to me. While others are screaming for the monster to be killed I often find myself feeling bad for the creature who is only following their inner nature. The vampire who loves and wants to turn the girl only to be rejected (and usually destroyed) all because he wanted eternity with them? The Phantom that would give everything for the one he loves only to be rejected because obsession is seen as wrong? The serial killer who cuts off his hand rather than simply killing the agent with whom he has obviously fallen in love? I have shed many tears for the fallen “monsters”, the beautiful creatures who live in the dark. Be they vampires or other I know I see things in a way that few others agree with, but those that understand, I mean really understand, will embrace my latest musings the way I embrace the veil of “otherness” that I find myself so often on the wrong side of.
Now vampires have been a “hot topic” for a while. You can barely turn around without a “new” vampire book emerging, or with the Twilight Saga coming to a close producers desperately searching for the next tween vamp sensation (The Vampire Academy Movie would be my guess at their best shot). Then of course you have the TV regulars, True Blood gearing up for Season 6, the Vampire Diaries just finishing Season 4 and a 5th Season and a spin-off show picked up, and the much buzz about new NBC drama Dracula. Yes the vampires are everywhere (Still none that have stolen my heart in the way that Mitchell and crew did from the first 3 seasons of Being Human) but they are out in force.
But the thing that is amusing me is the sudden fascination with Serial Killers. Now this is a little different for the mainstream audience. Of course there has always been the big hits such as Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal, where it was shown how charismatic a serial killer could be. You know that what he was doing was wrong but you couldn’t help but like him….. but find him romantic? I cried because I thought Hannibal choosing to sacrifice his arm rather than killing Agent Starling was just so beautiful. Yes people looked at me as if I was crazy but I didn’t care. There was something there. Something darkly beautiful that called to me. I knew why he did what he did and I thought it wonderful.
NBC have tried to bring this to the small screen but whilst I am enjoying the show, I find that the actor they chose for Hannibal is not working for me. I don’t feel for him the way I want to, although his dinner parties are definitely amusing and the writing is superb, but for me there is no connection. I would not mourn were he to be captured. I would not will him to escape, and I find that although I am intrigued by his plans I make no effort to seek out any further information that may be out there. This was one step up from Dexter though. Perhaps the first attempt to bring serial killers to television but for some reason it failed to hook me. Still unsure as to why and I keep meaning to give it another shot, but as yet haven’t bothered.
Back to Hannibal and his casting being a complete contrast to the other TV Serial Killer featured in FOX’s The Following. With this series having just ended I am feeling somewhat at a loss with what to do with my Monday evenings. I miss the chapters that Joe Carroll was writing and I miss his cryptic emails and posts on Twitter. Now do not get confused here. It is not the actor that I am obsessing over, it is the character and it is HIS emails etc that I am missing. With his love of Poe and completely insane agenda, he has managed, in the show, to almost hypnotize people to help him with his plan. He is gorgeous and charming, and even as he is brutally murdering an innocent girl to teach the naughty police a lesson, I am with him 100%. I know on some level this is wrong. I should not be willing this serial killer to escape and encourage others to go on a murdering rampage so that he can write a book about it. But I don’t care. I screamed at the TV as his wife, whom he adores, betrayed him. I even yelled at him for being weak and deciding that sleeping with someone else would be OK. I squealed like a 14-year-old fan girl when he sent me a “Tweet” before the finale asking if I wanted to see the final chapter. I scoured through hidden messages to find coded videos and secret messages with clues that linked to the show. I was, and still am hooked.
So where, does that leave me? I am lucky in that I have my soul mate (who as far as I know is not a serial killer), that laughs at my obsessions but never tries to dissuade me. I have a few select friends that visit with me in the darkness and smile as they know that the reality is closer than strangers would ever believe, and I have the world inside my head. The blacks and the reds and the fields of grey where I find my peace.
Oh a little addendum to this …. For those that feel like a wander through some dark thrilling literature I would suggest checking out Kitten K Jackson. It is not normally something I do, advertising books, but this is a little different. These books, Keeping Secrets and the Sequel Keeping Secrets II are not for everyone. This is not a “happy ever after” tale. It is a tale of obsession. A tale of dark desires. A tale of a different kind of love.
Check them out HERE!