My Gothic Romance – From Vampires To Serial Killers V””V

The darkness has always called to me. While others are screaming for the monster to be killed I often find myself feeling bad for the creature who is only following their inner nature.  The vampire who loves and wants to turn the girl only to be rejected (and usually destroyed) all because he wanted eternity with them?  The Phantom that would give everything for the one he loves only to be rejected because obsession is seen as wrong? The serial killer who cuts off his hand rather than simply killing the agent with whom he has obviously fallen in love?  I have shed many tears for the fallen “monsters”, the beautiful creatures who live in the dark. Be they vampires or other I know I see things in a way that few others agree with, but those that understand, I mean really understand, will embrace my latest musings the way I embrace the veil of “otherness” that I find myself so often on the wrong side of.

Now vampires have been a “hot topic” for a while.  You can barely turn around without a “new” vampire book emerging, or with the Twilight Saga coming to a close producers desperately searching for the next tween vamp sensation (The Vampire Academy Movie would be my guess at their best shot).  Then of course you have the TV regulars, True Blood gearing up for Season 6, the Vampire Diaries just finishing Season 4 and a 5th Season and a spin-off show picked up, and the much buzz about new NBC drama Dracula.  Yes the vampires are everywhere (Still none that have stolen my heart in the way that Mitchell and crew did from the first 3 seasons of Being Human) but they are out in force.

But the thing that is amusing me is the sudden fascination with Serial Killers.  Now this is a little different for the mainstream audience.  Of course there has always been the big hits such as Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal, where it was shown how charismatic a serial killer could be.  You know that what he was doing was wrong but you couldn’t help but like him….. but find him romantic?  I cried because I thought  Hannibal choosing to sacrifice his arm rather than killing Agent Starling was just so beautiful.  Yes people looked at me as if I was crazy but I didn’t care.  There was something there.  Something darkly beautiful that called to me.  I knew why he did what he did and I thought it wonderful.

NBC have tried to bring this to the small screen but whilst I am enjoying the show, I find that the actor they chose for Hannibal is not working for me.  I don’t feel for him the way I want to, although his dinner parties are definitely amusing and the writing is superb, but for me there is no connection. I would not mourn were he to be captured.  I would not will him to escape, and I find that although I am intrigued by his plans I make no effort to seek out any further information that may be out there.   This was one step up from Dexter though.  Perhaps the first attempt to bring serial killers to television but for some reason it failed to hook me.  Still unsure as to why and I keep meaning to give it another shot, but as yet haven’t bothered.

Back to Hannibal and his casting being a complete contrast to the other TV Serial Killer featured in FOX’s The Following.  With this series having just ended I am feeling somewhat at a loss with what to do with my Monday evenings.  I miss the chapters that Joe Carroll was writing and I miss his cryptic emails and posts on Twitter.  Now do not get confused here.  It is not the actor that I am obsessing over, it is the character and it is HIS emails etc that I am missing.  With his love of Poe and completely insane agenda, he has managed, in the show, to almost hypnotize people to help him with his plan.  He is gorgeous and charming, and even as he is brutally murdering an innocent girl to teach the naughty police a lesson, I am with him 100%.  I know on some level this is wrong.  I should not be willing this serial killer to escape and encourage others to go on a murdering rampage so that he can write a book about it.  But I don’t care.  I screamed at the TV as his wife, whom he adores, betrayed him. I even yelled at him for being weak and deciding that sleeping with someone else would be OK.  I squealed like a 14-year-old fan girl when he sent me a “Tweet” before the finale asking if I wanted to see the final chapter.  I scoured through hidden messages to find coded videos and secret messages with clues that  linked to the show.  I was, and still am  hooked.

So where, does that leave me?  I am lucky in that I have my soul mate (who as far as I know is not a serial killer), that laughs at my obsessions but never tries to dissuade me.  I have a few select friends that visit with me in the darkness and smile as they know that the reality is closer than strangers would ever believe, and I have the world inside my head.  The blacks and the reds and the fields of grey where I find my peace. 




Oh a little addendum to this …. For those that feel like a wander through some dark thrilling literature I would suggest checking out Kitten K Jackson.  It is not normally something I do, advertising books, but this is a little different.  These books, Keeping Secrets and the Sequel Keeping Secrets II are not for everyone.  This is not a “happy ever after” tale.  It is a tale of obsession.  A tale of dark desires. A tale of a different kind of love.

Check them out HERE!


50 Shades And My Seemingly Ever Increasing Desire To Lobotomize The Sheep!! V””V

As I flick through this week’s copy of Entertainment Weekly I was disgusted to see that the 50 Shades Trilogy is taking up the top FOUR spaces on the New York Best Selling paperbacks list.  How, you might ask is this possible with only 3 books in the series but wait, they are counting the “All 3 books in 1” volume as a separate book!! Ridiculous!

Add to that pretty much every other status and picture on Facebook seem to have something to do with either the book, what they would like to do with characters in the book, or who they would like to play the characters in a movie, I am about to explode!  Perhaps watching From Hell (with the gorgeous Ivan from Being Human playing a crazed Dr lobotomizing people) was not such a good idea because I am finding the idea more and more appealing!

It is being described as “Mommy porn”.  Well what does that even mean?  There are no mommy characters in it?  Is it because the main character needs a smack? Oh wait he likes to do the smacking, except when he doesn’t.  The scene’s that are supposed to be so shocking pale in regard to many books that I have read over the years, Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty trilogy, any of the later Laurell K Hamilton Anita Blake books, Jeaniene Frost, Yasmine Galenorn.  The list could go on but you don’t see libraries threatening to pull them from their shelves or comments everywhere about their effect on people’s sex lives.

What is this mass market appeal that is totally mind washing even people whom I have known for years and would normally have considered that their taste ran to far superior writing.  So I ask again, what am I missing?  There sure as hell isn’t anything that I consider even mildly erotic in there.  I feel that it is poorly written and from a woman who I doubt has ever had anything other than missionary position, vanilla sex in her life and from the raving going on neither have the people who are expressing such ravishing praise about it.

A friend recently told me that they would be scared to be in my head and discover what goes on in there.  They actually said that they wondered if my bedroom would put the infamous red room to shame.  Well my readers whilst I can assure you that this is not the case I can also let you know that real trust in a partner does not come written on a piece of paper but from shared desire and experience and if it doesn’t fit in with the majority view of what is “normal” well that is just fine with me.  Normal has never been a word that would work to describe me anyway.

I live in a darkness that few will ever understand and many would rather not think about but that is OK .  I like it here and I have my husband who stops me taking that final step that may plunge me ever downward so far from reality that I would never find my way back.  I have my select friends who know the real me and don’t find it strange that I would take them to a shop where whips and chains are just the beginning and that I would fall in love with a beautifully crafted whip made from the softest elk hide to the extreme that I must have touched it 100 times whilst there (sadly the $259 price tag insisted I left it behind).

And so to all the sheep out there with their constant reminders to me about how great this book is …… is it really? or are you being shepherded along with the masses sharing the opinions that to me make no sense, because it is easier than forming your own?  Do you really find that erotic and compelling? If so I go back to my heading and would like to offer you a lobotomy.

*Mwah* V””V


Yes I Am In Love With Fictional Characters – No It Does Not Mean I Love The Actors – And Yes My Vampire Obsession Lurks In Every Facet Of My Life! V””V

So this is something that after watching a True Blood Panel at the June first event 2010 was lurking around in my mind and was originally written back in October of 2010 …. and rewritten and edited for the Vampire Loving Dorks page in April of 2011 and now here it is again, re-edited, revamped, and still very much a topic in my everyday musings.

A lot of us here would probably agree that we love vampires.  Many, such as myself , find that vampire links are possible with everything … even a trip to Chuck E Cheeses!  Characters appear on-screen and are referenced to various portrayals in previous vampire based shows, for example we were watching “Amy Burley” from True Blood on Fox’s show “New Girl” …. I recently spotted “Spike” from “Buffy” (Or Angel) as the camera guy at the beginning of the movie House on Haunted Hill … “Daphne” from True Blood was in “CSI Miami” …. and so the list, and the connections would seem to me to be endless.

So where does the character end and the actor begin?  Many who are into True Blood or the Sookie Stackhouse Novels would probably consider themselves either Team Eric or Team Bill to some extent or another, but is it Eric the character that people adore or is it the way Alexander Skarsgard portrays him??? What if the original talks had gone ahead and Alexander Skarsgard played Bill???? Would there be more Team Bill fans now with the same adoration for all things AS or does the character create the buzz???

For me its easy … I love Eric from the books and adore the screen Eric and feel that AS really embodies him but I do feel that as long as the portrayal was similar I would probably have felt the same devotion to another Eric. Would I have paid more attention to Bill with Alexander Skarsgard playing him??? Quite probably as he is certainly very easy on the eye lol but would I be a Team Bill player??? Somehow I can’t see it.

My latest “Character love’ is Mitchell from the BBC UK Show “Being Human” (Not to be confused with the poor attempt American copy of the same shown which had a vampire named Aiden – Possibly a nod to Aidan Turner that plays the UK vampire Mitchell?? and pale insignificant versions of the same stories … anyway .. I digress …..  As I was saying Mitchell is possibly one of the darkest portrayals of a vampire on television I have seen EVER.  And yes I adore him.  I love the darkness … I get excited when he vamps out and goes murdering people .. and I especially like it when he decides humanity has wronged him and along with a friend totally destroys a train full of perfectly innocent passengers in the most gruesome way you can imagine.  Rather than being shocked I embrace this side of the vampire. I prefer it to the twinkling tortured “vegetarian” teen vamps or  love-sick, pining to be human again creatures trying to fit in.  But now that Mitchell is no more (makes me want to sob all over again just typing it) I see a lot of fans now looking to see what he is going to be in next just as many “Eric” fans watch everything that Alexander Skarsgard does.  Not me ….  mine is definitely entrenched in the “character love” category.  It is Mitchell the vampire I am in love with and not Aidan Turner (sexy and gorgeous though he might be.  If I ever met him I would only be thinking Mitchell).

This “Character love” can be applied to many other vampires such as those in the Twilight Saga.  Team Edward is “alive and well” (yes I don’t understand it either but just look around and you will see that it is absolutely thriving).  Take my mother for example, she, who has never understood my love for all things vampyric is suddenly Team Edward in the largest way almost to the point of being delusional.  She refer’s to “Edward” as the main part of Robert Pattinson’s being, for example a recent phone call involved her berating the English Press because of how they portrayed “Edward” in the papers as drunk and uncouth.She is constantly telling me that she is going to watch, or has watched the new film that “Edward” not “Robert” is starring in.

So when does the fictional character take over the actor that portrays them?  For me it’s never! I love my fantasy book vampires and whilst I enjoy (for the most part) seeing them portrayed on the screen and it certainly allows me to discuss them more with my husband, who might die rather than read one of my vampire novels, never do the actors portraying them quite match the image in my head.  That is one of the best things about Mitchell from Being Human ….. he has never had to live up to an already living vision in my head.  He was always Mitchell as portrayed by Aidan Turner.  Even though I watched a couple of the US version episodes with basically the same character he was never him!!!

A perfect example dates back to when Interview with the Vampire was being made and Tom Cruise was cast as Lestat.  I was devastated.  How could this actor, whom I had never really liked (although I will confess to enjoying some of his movies), possibly play my blonde hair, blue-eyed devil?  Anne Rice apparently shared my concerns but I must confess when I went to see the movie he had done an admirable job.  He was Lestat, just not my Lestat, but it does however, remain my favorite Tom Cruise movie to date. Then came the Queen Of The Damned.  A mish mash of the next 2 vampire chronicles with none of the actors from the first attempt and a slaughter in the casting department when it came to the lesser vampires.  Stuart Townsend definitely embodied the darker, sarcastic side of Lestat but again fell short from my vampire lover from the books.  This is more relevant now than ever with the question of who will play Lestat being thrust front and centre once more as the movie rights to “Tale Of The Body Thief” have recently been picked up.

So I ask you all …… are you in love with the vampires, or is it the people who play them.  With many books out there waiting to hear about movie or tv deals I am sure there are more fictional vamps just waiting to be bought to life by actors who I am sure dream that their character will become such an obsession that the lines blur between the character and them, and they find themselves stalked to the point of insanity.  As for me, I will keep my love affair with the vampires in my books and my new vampires on the screen, as I am lucky, in the real world I have found the one person to share my darkness and my eternity with.