True Blood Season 7 Ep 10 – Finale – “Thank You ” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are. The end of the end …. the final episode ever.  So sad 😦 and things aren’t going to get any better because let me warn you right now I WAS NOT AMUSED!!!!!!! So let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season… ummmmm you have pretty much missed it all)…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So here we are …… the time to say goodbye.  Now things actually don’t start off too badly!  The Yakuza are not secretly waiting at Sookie’s house after all and she just looks depressed …. well because she does.  I guess I didn’t allow for the idea that the directors would realize that they would have to drive from Shreveport as usually they just make this stuff up to suit themselves… timing be damned.   Instead we have Bill reminiscing about him first calling on her blah blah blah.  Sookie quite rightly calls him out on everything and he tries to explain that all he wants is for her to live a normal life …. free of vampires …. and even better he has a plan!   He wants her to use her last fairy light to perform “The Ultimate Kindness”  because he loves her too much to ever let her go otherwise and he worries that vampires will always be hunting her. Sookie doesn’t look impressed and tells him to go but we can all see she is thinking about it.  **Cue opening credits …. for the final time ….. sad 😥 **

Now by far the best part of this whole finale!   This was the moment that my hopes were raised and I thought maybe …. just maybe the team might be able to pull it together.  Oh how wrong I was but these scenes were great! 

We get to see Mr Gus’s crazy team of Yakuza racing in their sports car towards Sookie’s house and in the meantime Mr Gus is getting drunk at the bar in Fangtasia.  In the basement Pam and Eric are hovering around Sarah and Eric announces he is going to let her escape through the tunnels.  Eric has a plan and it is a GOOD one!  Obviously completely over all his Hep V Crises and raring to go he has decided that the best plan is to kill Mr Gus and all his associates and to steal the New Blood formula and keep it for themselves! YES!! Great plan Eric … I LOVE it!  So Eric has Pam give Sarah some of her blood so they can always find her and glamours her into escaping and going into hiding and trusting no one.  Off she scampers and then our dynamic duo summon Mr Gus down to the basement complete with guards and as you can imagine he is none to amused to find his little money maker is gone.  Awwwww so sad! Pam and Eric quickly kill the guards (so easily in fact it makes you wonder what the hell they have been waiting for) and Mr Gus tries to make a run for it.  Eric can’t even be bothered to chase him because “humans are slow” and sends a fireball to turn Mr Gus into one very crispy critter  ….. bye bye Mr Gus.  You and your annoying accent won’t be missed at all!!!

Of course there are still the Yakuza group heading to deal with Sookie but fear not.  Eric swoops on over and dispatches them with Sookie just hearing a slight noise out the window.  Best scene of the night shows us Eric driving the sports car, crazy music blaring, dancing along with a pile of Yakuza bodies in the back seat!! LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!! Now I am not normally one for GIFS in my reviews but Click HERE to see it (Courtesy of Eric Northman Tumblr) because it was THE BEST scene of the entire episode :D.

Sadly that is it for the main episode with Eric.  We do get to see a little clip with Sarah begging Pam to turn her into a vampire to which Pam is highly amused and lets her know it is NEVER going to happen and we also find out that Sarah learned a lot from reading Bill’s book but Pam only skimmed the parts to read about her.  I LOVE Pam!!  What this finale needed was much more Pam and Eric and much less of everything else.  Sadly though that is all from them and then the episode just goes downhill …. fast!!!

We head over to the Compton manor where Jessica decides to come home for a final visit and she brings Hoyt with her.  After saying she will never understand she then basically does a 180 and tells Bill she will be OK and Bill summizes she will be with Hoyt and bluntly asks if they will be getting married eventually. Now they have been back together less than 24 hours at this point and we have to hear a ridiculous blurb about how Bill never got to walk his daughter down the aisle and how he never got to meet her future husband as he had been made vampire by then …. ummmmmm didn’t your daughter die as a child? No husband ever in the picture?  Whatever….. I don’t actually care at this point.  This whole thing was ridiculous. 20 minutes of this finale is wasted by a stupid wedding, totally pointless, in the daytime … and NO ONE CARES!!! UGH!!! This was torture!!!!!  Andy officiates (after a little chat with Bill about him being the heir to the Compton manor … oh continuity … the didn’t forget that Jessica can’t have the house yet and Andy agrees to rent it to Jessica and Hoyt for $1 a month basically forever), Jason is the best man, Sookie is the bridesmaid and Bill gives her away oh and Holly and Arlene are there too. WASTE OF TIME!!!!! The only “useful” thing to come out of it was that we learned Sookie could hear Bill’s thoughts showing us that this Hep V, combined with Sookie’s fairy blood was indeed making him more human.   Even begged the question (from my husband) ….. was Bill going to become human?? Was that going to be the big twist??  Personally I was thinking NOOOOOO WAY … but I have to admit .. that would have been WAY better than then ending we got stuck with.

As always when Sookie has to ponder any big decisions we get flashbacks to her childhood (Yes it was nice to see Gran again for a minute even though it was blatantly thrown in there so she could say that Sookie should never compromise herself because she is different) and then we get the discussion with Jason, who lets Sookie know he is not good at those kind of decisions but will stand by her no matter what she chooses and Sookie tells Jason she listened in Bridgette’s head and she likes him .. and he should act on that.  Subtle!!   Then eventually Sookie ends up talking to Reverend Daniels for some spiritual guidance.   Is Sookie the way she is because God wants her to be … or because he made a mistake.  UGH BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell kind of finale is this??? BORED BORED BORED!!!!! 

So the big question becomes what will Sookie do. As the end fast approaches she calls Bill and tells him she has made all the arrangements and he is to meet her in the cemetery at sundown.  We see her leave in a simple black dress, a stark contrast to her other meetings with Bill in her little white dress (that was a nice touch) and we find her waiting by Bill’s open grave.  She is surprised there is a coffin in there and when Bill arrives he explains that they used to do that as it was easier for the families.  Inside his coffin is the picture of him and his daughter (so that was the reason for that flashback before) and Bill lies down as Sookie prepares to blast him.  Wait …. NO WAY .. there is no way that she is going to kill Bill with her Fairy light and go back to being human …. and nope sure enough as she stands there for ages with the light in her hand we see the resignation cross her face and she says she can’t do it.   Knew it!  No way they would have Sookie kill Bill ….. she is going to save him .. or he will become human … right ……. WRONG!!! Sookie admits that she can’t give up being Fairy as it is a part of her but she asks him if he still wants to die and he does.  So she gabs a shovel and snaps it (hmmmmm OK … those things are MUCH harder than that to break) and creates a stake, climbs down into the coffin with him … and then with their hands both on it … plunges it in!   I CAN’T BELIEVE IT .. They actually killed off Bill …. for real this time .. no coming back as some mystical blood god ….. he is gone.   Sookie is left covered in vampire remains and we see her place the lid on the coffin and start covering it in dirt as she cries.  Wait that can’t be it …. .this is how it ends??  We see Sookie walking away from the cemetery still crying and the darkness covers the screen …. UMMMMM WHAT??? This is the end ……..

Actually that would have been a better ending!!!!  No …. as always they had to keep going.  Although at that point I was already bitching that there had been no more Pam and Eric I think I would have rather left it there.  It certainly would have been more dramatic.  Instead we are treated to 10 minutes of flash forwards.  So are you ready … here we go.

First flash forward is “about a year later” and we see a very cheesy Eric hosting an “infomercial” for New Blood complete with Pam.  They explain how although they never caught Sarah they were able to get a couple of drops of her blood from her escape through a window and synthesize it that way.  There is even a cameo from Charlaine Harris sitting behind the teleprompter.  

 

Flash Forward to 3 years after that and we get to see Pam and Eric opening the trading by ringing the bell at the NY Stock Exchange with a big poster of New Blood behind them so we are to assume that business is going very well for them

Flash forward to “The Following Thanksgiving” so I am guessing about 5 years?  And we get to see …. well pretty much everyone including a VERY pregnant Sookie.  As to who the father is … well we never get to see him.  We get a mystery pair of hands putting a turkey in a deep fryer outside in the sun and then a voice calling “Turkey is in” as Sookie potters around in the kitchen. We get a glimpse over at Jason’s house where we find a pregnant Bridgette and 3 kids already … one of those girls clearly looking older than 4 which would be the right age to fit in their stupid flash forward …… STUPID ROOKIE ERROR ….. (Side note … the song playing was actually played in Season 1 at Arlene and Rene’s engagement party)…… Back at Sookie’s we see Sam and Nicole getting out of the truck complete with one daughter (looking about 5) and another one obviously on the way (apparently they all needed to be pregnant to finish things off).

Suddenly it is night and we head over to Fangtasia where we see Eric sitting on his throne, looking bored and rather sad.  Pretty reminiscent of Season 1 Eric but with shorter hair and in complete contrast to the flash forwards already shown with his success.   We get to see that Pam is in the basement charging $100,000 a minute to bite Sarah and Pam is loving every minute of it.  Sarah on the other hand is tortured and having visions of Steve… which while visions of Steve are always amusing … it was sort of pointless. 

And then to finish we have the great big sweeping, all encompassing, show everyone happy, thanksgiving feast at Sookie’s where we get to see that Hoyt and Jessica are still together, Arlene and Keith are still together, James and Lafayette are still together, Revered Daniels and Lettie Mae,  even Jade Bodehouse has a guy and is at the feast.  LITERALLY everyone is there.  Holly, Andy and the kids … that haven’t aged … at all … not even Adelyn the fast growing fairy has age a day in the 4-5 years … ummmmm STUPID!!!! Then to top everything off we get to NOT see who Sookie is with …. except his back and a slight side view.

THE END 😦

Not the ending I wanted … not an ending I saw coming …. not an ending I am on board with ….. seriously they should have left it with Sookie covered in Bill’s blood …… overall a general let down so thank you HBO for sucking me in for 7 years and then leaving me wanting.   YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Mr Gus ?? (Does he count as main cast?)
BILL!!!! WOW they actually killed him off!! 

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie
Violet
Bill

Eric and Pam Finale

My Favorite Lines From “Thank You”

  • Sookie – “If you are feeling this nostalgic Bill I gotta ask …. What the Fuck???” 
  • Pam – “Are you just winging it or do you have a plan here”
  • Eric –  “I’ve tried trusting, i’ve tried sharing …. it’s just not fucking working for me!”
  • Eric – “Humans are slow.” 
  • Sarah – “I’m a horrible person … which is why I think I would make a kick ass vampire”
  • Gran – “There are no limits on you if you don’t put them on yourself”. 
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True Blood Season 7 Ep 9 – “Love is to Die ” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season… ummmmm you have pretty much missed it all)…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Only 2 episodes left …. EVER …..   AHHHHHHH As much as this season is continuing with the “filler episodes” (seriously you are pretty much running out of time here … LITERALLY) I am still so sad this this is ending.  At this point the only good thing is that it is pretty much all dealing with the cast we know and apart from one scene saying goodbye there are no more shifters or wolves to deal with in Bon Temps.  Awwwwww almost like the beginning …… *sigh* ……

This week was really just a whole lot of talking! For the first time I could really feel the writers were trying to “wrap things up” and that things really are ending.  Despite the fact that, and let’s be honest here, the plotlines have totally lost themselves many times over to the point where sometimes I don’t even think the writers know where to go with things …. we are all here because this show will always hold a special place in our hearts … well my hear anyway …. OK enough of that …. On with the show!!

This week starts up right where we left off last week with Bill refusing to drink the cure.  Despite Jessica and Sookie pleading and giving their best arguments Bill tells them he is choosing the True Death.  Eric seems to be the only one that even slightly understands as he stops Sookie from repeatedly slapping Bill as she demands answers and sends Bill away.  But not before Jessica can demand that he releases her.  Bill looks torn for just a moment but then says the beautiful little speech and he leaves with Eric comforting a sobbing Sookie.   Pam obviously understands how much this hurts and Jessica turns to her and sobs in her arms …. but this is Pam is still Pam and says that if she cries on the jacket she’ll have to pay for it! HA!  Wouldn’t want us thinking she was too nice now would we!  **Roll opening credits**

Slight detour after the credits with Sookie and Jessica now apparently visiting Sam’s place.  There doesn’t seem to be any reason for this other than the fact that the audience gets to find out that Sam has left with Nicole and doesn’t plan on coming back.  There are 2 notes on the table.  One for Sookie and one for Andy.  Sookie’s letter is full of the explanation and we get to see (via flashback) Sam and Nicole packing everything up and leaving.  So goodbye Sam.  Looks like you get to survive and there will be no bookish type ending (so at least we can be grateful for that!)   And thus ends the shifter / wolf input this episode.  YAY lol

Sookie and Jessica head to the bar where everyone seems to be hanging out with the justification that Arlene has seen Field of Dreams and is doing the we are going to all be here until the customers work out things are back open and fake it until we make it.  As there are no customers they are going to have their own little party (Big John is cooking, Lala and James are there,  Keith, Arlene, Holly, her boys and Adelyn, and now Sookie and Jessica oh and a mystery waitress ….. really there are still people in this town we don’t know??? Ummmm FAIL! ).   Sookie takes Andy in the back to give him his letter from Sam thinking it is going to be emotional but turns out that it just says that he resigns as mayor.  Poor Andy!! Although it was pretty funny!

There are lots of “wrapping up” moments this week.  Jessica and James sort out their differences and James goes off to be happy with Lafayette and Jessica goes off into the night (we find out why all too soon).

Everyone else settles down to eat but Sookie is separate at the bar.  After a little telepathic intervention from Adelyn, Arlene heads over and has a little heart to heart.  Sookie tells Arlene about Bill and asks how Arlene keeps starting over and Arlene basically tells her she just has to kind of make up her mind to do so and they head over to the table where everyone is sitting to eat.

Now here I though with the way the camera was panning and them calling Lafayette from the kitchen to come join them that something bad was about to happen.  Because that’s how it works right? Nice scene … setting up for crazy ….. but nope.  Apparently tonight they all just get to have a nice dinner.  See you know things are actually ending when that sort of thing happens 😦

While they are eating Bill gets an unexpected visit from Eric and yes it is another heart to heart.  This episode is absolutely overflowing with them.  Eric tries to explain that he thinks the disease talking and not really Bill.  He talks about it attacking his spirit and how when Pam had found him he was in the same place. Bill explains about his dreams and how that he can see that he is ruining her life and until he is gone she has no chance.  Something seems to register for Eric and he agrees to get Sookie to  talk to Bill so Bill can explain before he dies.

Eric goes back to Bellefleurs and finds Sookie and explains that he has spoken to Bill and she needs to talk to him and hear him out.  The way Eric looks at her when they are talking is just so lovely.  He offers to give her a lift and she points out he doesn’t have a car.  He swoops her up in his arms and they take to the sky.  Awwwwwww at this point I am almost back to wanting Eric and Sookie back together despite the fact that she most certainly DOES NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES deserve him … but he obviously loves her (although I can’t work out for the life of me why) *Sigh*.    When they land at Sookie’s the look that Eric gives her just breaks my heart (see picture) but she doesn’t seem to get it.  Or she does and she’s just ignoring it.  He tells her that her phone is ringing and it is probably Bill and then he takes off to the sky and she goes in …. it is of course Bill on the phone and he is coming there to call on her shortly. 

Over in another part of town Hoyt and Bridget are fighting because she is still mad that Hoyt doesn’t want kids.  But that isn’t the real issue for her.  The real issue is the obviously chemistry she saw between Hoyt and Jessica.  Now poor Hoyt really doesn’t remember anything from before but Bridget isn’t quite buying that and when he admits that he went to the clinic to donate blood for Bill.  Bridget just starts to forgive him when, with perfect timing, Jessica knocks at the door.  Jessica tries to explain to Bridget that Hoyt isn’t lying. That she knows him but he doesn’t know her.  Hmmmm can you imagine being a non vamp person and trying to get your head around that lol.   Bridget tells Hoyt that she is confused and doesn’t want to hear any of it but if Hoyt does he can go out there but basically not to come back….. and of course he does!

Jessica explains that Bill has released her and everything going on with him and that she felt she had no one else she could talk to because he was the first man that she every loved.   The whole scene is really sweet.  These two always made a really cute couple! 

Bridget calls Jason as he is the only person that she know’s in the whole town.  She tells him that Jessica is explaining everything and Jason rushes over in his police car with the lights and sirens blazing just in time to get punched in the face and knocked out by Hoyt.  Yep Jason guess Hoyt has been told everything.  Next thing we know Jason is in the car with Bridget and as he comes around she is telling him they are heading to the hospital. Jason rationalizes that there is nobody working there and he has had loads of concussions and will be fine so to just go to his house but he wants to make it clear that they will not be having sex tonight.   Bridget is pretty shocked and explains that there is no way that would have happened anyway but Jason knows better lol.  She doesn’t quite understand but oh she will.

When they get to the house Bridget is trying to get her flight changed to go home but is getting nowhere with the airline.  Jason asks if it is a man or a woman on the line and when he finds out it is a woman he takes the phone and turns on that classic Jason charm.  This season really has shown Jason at his best.  He has been brilliant and again manages to save the day in his own crazy way and he gets Bridget a flight back before heading into the other room to put an ice pack on his head …. and then his other head to try and convince himself he is not going to sleep with Bridget. 

Bridget comes out of the other room and says she is hungry but all they have is beer. They sit at the counter for a bit and Jason explains about his life and how Math was hard and women weren’t.  All Jason can think about are the things that Hoyt told him when he first found out about Jason and Jessica.   Jason tells her the whole story and when he finishes Bridget tells him he is wrong and that  she is going to teach him how not to have sex with a woman lol. (Yes a skill every man is just itching to learn i’m sure!)

They lay in bed (on separate sides) and the plan is to tell each other facts about each other that they don’t know.  Jason ends up admitting that he wants children and he doesn’t know if he is right to be a father.  What if he has a daughter and she meets a guy like him.  What would he do then?  Well the obvious answer is most men would freak out and ground the daughter and kill the guy ….. but apparently the right answer is … you will be fine.  Everything is already in him to be a great guy.  Well OK then *sigh* …. and nope .. no Bridget Jason action.  He even keeps his top on. 

Meanwhile Hoyt and Jessica have moved their talk inside and things are getting more intense and Jessica eventually uses her blood to heal his hand and then things get all hot and intense and we get some nice Hoyt / Jessica action.  I guess those two were meant to be together after all ❤

At Fangtasia it is time for a change of pace and Sarah is taken upstairs ….to the back office for a makeover. They are turning her back to blonde.  Pam is back in hair mode again complete with foils!! (Season 2 anyone??)  She makes a big deal about glamouring Sarah so that she won’t scream but she can still talk. Hmmmm this could be a problem or why show it?   In the meantime Pam has a nice little story to go with things about whores and how Sarah will be making them a great deal of money because they will be able to sell her out as a “cure” to the highest bidders. 

Bill is walking across the cemetery to visit Sookie and he stops at the graves of his children.  With the minutes ticking down to the end of this installment I will confess I half expected him to collapse there and then and leave us hanging until next week to find out what happens but apparently that is not to be the case as we see him arrive at the Sookies.  Sookie is inside sitting at the table but I think something is wrong.  I think the Yukuza are there.  Why you might ask ….. well wait for it ……..

Back at Fangtasia Eric walks in to find a very annoyed Ginger who is bitching that Eric didn’t tell her that he wasn’t going to die.  Eric is not in the mood to deal with her and bitches back about how he has spent all evening dealing with other people’s relationship problems and how that is so not him and so he wants to apologize to her and make it up to her the best way he can think of.  He says he is going to fuck her!  He asks where she imagines them doing it …. seriously I thought at this point it was going to change into a dream but nope .. apparently Ginger is going to get her wish and finally get some Eric action!  Sadly for Ginger she does’t seem able to take a whole lot of Eric action before collapsing into a heap on the floor leaving Eric with nothing other than messed up hair.   It’s all rather ridiculous but she seems happy and she’s waited 7 seasons for her moment so I’m glad she at least enjoyed it lol

Sadly for Eric things are about to get a whole lot worse.  He goes hunting for Pam and finds her silvered to a table in the dungeon with a nasty stake hanging perilously above her suspended by a few ropes.  The Yukuza are gradually cutting the ropes to get Eric to talk and it works.  He admits that Sookie knows about Sarah being the cure …. the music turns dark and somber and seriously at this point I was fearing for Pam.  I am still not 100% sure that Pam will make it through but she survived this week.  I won’t lie, my heart was definitely in my throat there for a minute……. 

And now we wait until next week and the final episode. Oh it has come around so fast 😥.    The big question still remains who will make it to the end? Who will Sookie end up with?  Will she become a vampire to save Bill?  Why do I still have a horrible feeling Pam is going to be one of the ones to not make it? Things have totally taken a turn from the beginning of the seasons and all the bets have changed.  Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my final  thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie
Violet

Eric S7 ep 9

My Favorite Lines From “Love is to Die”

  • Pam – “If you cry on my jacket you’re paying for it sweetheart” 
  • Bridget – “Southern Eyelashes that go on for days.”
  • Hoyt –  “I want you to tell me the story of us ”
  • Arlene – “We can’t have sex .. it would kinda kill him if we did.” 
  • Eric – “Get over yourself Bill! ”
  • Eric – “I’m over 1000 years old! If I had an aptitude for marriage counselling don’t you think I would have figured that out by now”. 
  • Jason– “You just happened to pick a guy who’d already met the girl he was supposed to be with”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 7 – “May Be The Last” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because! Oh and let me start by saying this week was (for me) yet another week of filler, which when they are only giving us 10 episodes is a bit weak for me!  They hooked me this season with that one great episode and I thought here we go and have since been holding on with exciting looking previews that quite simply don’t deliver!!

Right then everybody ready because here we go!   Honestly this week can be split up into a few little blocks of what’s happening and then a couple extra bits thrown in and so that is how I am going to break this down.

Let’s start off this week the way True Blood did (and the only real story line people are actually invested in at this point) with Eric, Pam, and the crazy corporation crew at Amber’s house. They already have Amber strapped down with silver chains and are taking it in turns to try and get information out of her about her sister and how she was cured.  Now hang on a second ….. wouldn’t the FIRST thing you tried as a vamp be drinking the blood of a cured person (vamp)?  I mean seriously!! You know she was infected, and now she’s not ….. would that not occur to anyone to at least give it a try???  Well apparently not.  Fear, reasoning, and then bribing seem to be the go to efforts and when all of those fail Eric loses his temper, hallucinates Sarah, and then stakes Amber … all before the opening credits.  Well then there goes that plan.  Crazy cowboy corporation guy though we find out as the episode goes on does in fact have a plan!  Now that they know Sarah is a cure he knows the government will help find her and then they can synthesize her blood and sell a cure as “New Blood”.  Awesome!  Eric looks none to convinced as killing her is still top of his bucket list but even he appears to see the value in the plan and reluctantly agrees.  Not sure anyone in the room is convinced that they are actually working together but that is the plan .. for now.

Later (when they find Sarah) it is made to look like the corporation is going to betray Eric, leaving him and Pam behind while they go to deal with Sarah (who they track down using government surveillance and find her at the Light Of Day Institute of all places)  but SURPRISE. At the end of the episode they are outside at night waiting and they all go off hunting together.  Of course we don’t actually SEE them get to Sarah…. that is all saved for NEXT WEEK Grrrrrrrr.

Talking of Sarah she has a fairly interesting episode.  As mentioned she has gone to the LODI to hide and she has some interesting flashbacks and hallucinations that include Jason lecturing her about how Death is coming in the form of Eric, and then later Steve Newlin and her little Guru friend debating the benefits of dying a Christian versus a Buddhist.  Honestly? These little interactions were sadly one of the highlights of tonight’s episode.  Yup really not a lot going on.  Well she is all set to get hers next week …… we can hope at least!

One of the of the other main stories is the kidnapping of Adelyn and Wade last week by crazy Violet.  Sadly other than Andy and Holly running around all episode trying to find them not a whole lot happens until the very end.  Andy does remember that Adelyn has had Jessica’s blood and so calls her to see if anything bad has happened that she has sensed which for 90% of the episode Adelyn is having a great time.  Violet has taken them off to a house and locked them in a room for the day to have some “fun” complete with a litany of sex toys that these kids have no idea what to do with.  We also learn that Violet used to enjoy having sex with her brother too.  Hmmmm OK then.  But the main story is they are away from everyone, Violet goes to sleep for the day leaving them alone, and nothing other than them having sex happens until the very very end when Violet makes it clear that she is about to torture Adelyn and Jessica finally senses her fear and heads off to the rescue….. but again we have to wait for next week!! Do you see a pattern forming here??? *rolls eyes*

In other news there are 2 minor stories floating around in the background. Hoyt is back in town and he is not alone.  He has his pretty new blonde girlfriend Bridget with him who works with him in Alaska.  Their first stop is Bellefleurs (which Hoyt obviously thought was Merlotte’s) and Arlene calls Jason because Hoyt obviously doesn’t remember him.  Jason comes down and he is definitely interested in Bridget who pretty much does everything short of throw herself at him.  UGH really Jason?? Aren’t you back with Jessica now you have to want Hoyt’s girlfriend AGAIN? This seemed pretty pointless to me unless they are going to have the repeat circumstances somehow trigger his memories?  There was a nice moment where Jason lied and told Hoyt that Maxine died as one of the good guys and not a crazy townsperson and that he had dealt with the person responsible. Hmmmmm OK?  Not quite sure where this is all going but again it was introduced … to be dealt with later. 

And then we have Arlene and her dreams of Keith (who we learn is 515) and her obvious attraction to him despite in her dreams explaining to him that she is NOT a fangbanger and then having sex with him on the pool table.  OK. Whatever.   Arlene’s main job this week is waxing lyrical with Sam who is dealing with Nicole’s ultimatum and it is unsure what he wants to do.  Arlene and him sit and drink and try and help Sam decide what is important to him.  It looks like Sam is getting ready to leave but we also see that this discussion has left Arlene feeling very depressed and in fact feels so bad that at the end Keith comes to visit her as soon as it gets dark because “that kind of pain can be dangerous”.  We learn that Arlene has Hep V (which anyone of us could have pretty much figured out from all the biting etc that happened at Fangtastia) and so Keith, being completely delightful, says that they can just dance. Awwwwwww!!! It was actually rather sweet.

So on to the final main story which of course is Bill and his Hep V that is spreading faster than on anyone else.  But Sookie is not giving up.  She has a plan and that plan involves finding Dr Ludwig … remember her? (Season 2 Maenad scratch ……) Well she gets her to the house and hear several times that Dr Ludwig isn’t scared of anything blah blah blah and we also learn that she has treated another vamp / fae infection but in that case it was a full fae and not a half and it was quicker but not this quick so Sookie isn’t responsible for the super fast progression?  Or maybe she is because when Dr Ludwig finds out that Niall is her relative she freaks out and leaves.  Now you would expect this to have some sort of relevance to things but it really doesn’t.  Sookie manages to get hold of Niall to see if he can help her.  Other than eating some spaghetti, letting her know that he could have prevented her from infecting Bill because he is always watching and yes he know ….  and then showing Sookie a flashback with Bill’s wife giving birth to their daughter and explaining the miracle of birth that happens every day his visit seems pretty pointless.  He lets us know that he doesn’t like Bill for Sookie and never has and that his magic can’t help with anything.  Well then that clears that up.  Really?? Why?? Oh time filler ….. because seriously there was NO other reason for it at all that I can see! 

The episode ends with Sookie running over to Bill’s in her white dress, very reminiscent of the first time they were together, and she tells Bill that she will stay with him until the end.  Of course this ends up with them having sex in front of the fire and we get to see a very unwelcome sight of Naked Bill covered in Hep V Veins.  UGH well thank you very much True Blood.  Naked Bill at the best of times is bad enough but really??? BLAH!!!!   Even better his fangs pop out and he is obviously debating biting her and well all know THAT would be a bad idea …. Really Bill??? Look where the last bite got you!! He decides against it and sticks to the sex.  Wonderful and dull!!! 

And now we wait until next week which again looks promising but at this point who the hell knows because after all LAST WEEK … THIS WEEK’S looked promising and what an overall fail that was!!!  The big question remains who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (Although Amber died …. I suppose that should get a mention)

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

Eric ep 7

My Favorite Lines From “May Be The Last”

  • Andy – “Even if they don’t want to answer teenagers can have a pavlovian response to a ringing cell phone”
  • Violet – “Your imagination is a muscle … use it or lose it! ”
  • Eric “You want Eric to be the fucking spokesman for your vampire Jenny Craig commercials”
  • Sookie – “There is a miracle waiting out there for Bill.  I just have to go out there and find it! ” 
  • Dr Ludwig– “Oooooh how very spooky – A cemetery …. shall we?? ”
  • Niall  – “I don’t like him for you!.”
  • Niall – “There is magic in the ordinary – Birth is a miracle, love is a miracle, death is a miracle, forgiveness is a miracle.”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 5 – “Lost Cause” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….and we are halfway through already 😦 ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Well I have to say, after last week’s enjoyment, this week was definitely not as good for me BUT it did have it’s moments and they are definitely setting up for something big …… “Good Big” or “Bad Big” … honestly? who the hell knows with this show but the twists and turns just keep on coming.

We start this week back at Fangtasia and Eric and Pam setting up to depart to hunt for the elusive Sarah Newlin.   Willa is none to thrilled with this plan and says (after a huge Mommy and Daddy issue rant) she has information that she will give them IF Eric releases her.  At this point I can only assume that Eric just doesn’t really care that much about Willa because he does it.  Me, personally, I would have had Eric laugh and just command her to tell him as he commanded her to go with them last week.  That little maker trick never gets old for me….. BUT this does allow Pam and Eric to road trip alone …… so be it!  Willa informs them about Sarah’s hidden vamp sister so off to Dallas our intrepid vamps go, courtesy of Anubis airlines and their nifty travel coffins (although as my husband pointed out … it is still NIGHT when they left…. could they not get in the coffins at the airport just before they fly???) ….. Well if they had we would have missed Ginger and her screaming!  She is none to thrilled by this turn of about yelling that she has been Eric’s sex slave for FIFTEEN YEARS …But without the sex!!!  She asks if they know what a sex slave is without the sex …. and Pam (LOVE HER) says .. A SLAVE!! Ha!! Poor Ginger.  She demands that Eric at least has sex with her before they leave but Eric begs off claiming he is infected to which Ginger replies SHE IS TOO!!! Ooooh Ginger that isn’t good 😦 but as to what relevance that will have we don’t find out this week as the last we see of her is her being unceremoniously dumped off the travel coffin as she screams after Eric. Could that be the last time we get to hear the now infamous Ginger screaming? Guess we will have to wait and see …. Roll opening credits!

The episode picks up where it then spends most of the rest of the hour.  In Sookie’s house.  She is feeling lost and alone and spies what we assume is Alcide’s leather jacket on the chair and she finds Lafayette and James waiting for her. Lala puts her to bed and assures her that he and James will take care of the house and make it respectable for Jackson arriving the next day.  Sookie sleeps right through to the next evening but when she comes downstairs things aren’t quite what she would expect.   Everything is set up for a PARTY!  Yes you read that right!  Jackson and Jenny (well Jenny really) have been prepping all day and they plan on having the whole town over to “celebrate” Alcide’s life rather than “mourn” his passing.  Sookie doesn’t look too impressed but when Bill turns up with flowers (because he had no alcohol at his house which was required as per the invite) she changes her mind and goes to get all dressed up. 

Lettie Mae is annoying as ever and wants to go to the party but the Reverend is smart and knows there will be booze and vamp blood there so it is a no go for Lettie Mae.  That doesn’t stop her though as she doses him up with Benedril (allergy meds) to put him to sleep she can go and do whatever the hell she has it into her crazy head this week needs to be done.

At Sookie’s the party is in full swing an even Bill is dancing … if you can call it that (definitely debatable).  The girls that escaped the Hep V Vamps are having  a blast (except Nicole who is pregnant and can’t drink and seems a little put out by all the weird behavior …. we find out later she is a LOT put out by it all….. isn’t it about time she got killed off …. she’s annoying and you know her and Sam won’t be living HEA) ….. anyway sidetracked … so yes everyone is partying including Jane Bodehouse and that sets Bill off into one of several “Civil War Flashbacks”.   

Now Bill flashbacks (for the most part) are boring and annoying at the best of times but at least normally there is some kind of point that I can fathom out from them.  This weeks flashbacks all seem to center around the same point.  Bill didn’t want to be a part of the Civil War.  He didn’t want to fight, he knew the South was going to lose, and he was more interested in helping the slaves.  UMMMMMM WHAT??????????  So this is a whole new backstory for Bill after SIX SEASONS with NO HINT that he was not a firm believer fighting for the South.  In fact we have been lead over and over to respect what a “Fine Southern Gentleman War Hero” he was and NONE of this rubbish has been entertained.   We see one of the slaves he befriended and was trying to help escape get shot, we see his wife desperately trying to support him and convince one of their *Friends* (fellow noble at least) not to kill him and instead he has to enlist.   All very strange and pretty seemingly pointless and just taking up air time.  I am assuming they are going to somehow link this back to the “Hopeless Hep V War”???? that they are now fighting but UGH definitely wasted air time in my opinion.  The only link so far is that each of the flashbacks has had the ancestor of a current character triggering them.  Blah!

In the middle of the party we stop for a little memorial speech from Jackson which I suppose was nice but really should have been at a funeral.  He says that Sookie was worth it otherwise Alcide wouldn’t have fought for her,  Once we get through that Lettie Mae turns up and Lala tries to get her to leave but she just wants to talk and Sookie lets her (because Sookie is just always soooo nice …. personally I would be on the “get the hell out of my house platform” ) and so we get her remembrance speech about Tara … which STILL ends up pretty much being about her!  Ugh will someone PLEASE kill her already.  I have been over her storyline since season 1 and things haven’t improved. 

Jessica and Andy have a talk outside and Andy makes Jess realize that she is making it harder on him by constantly punishing herself because it won’t let him move on.  When she agrees to help he then says that he is going to propose to Holly …. right there at the party! Now really anywhere else this would probably be a little inappropriate but here it just kinda worked.  We ended up with a really sweet scene…… Sookie let’s Andy use Nan’s ring (which apparently technically was left to Jason but Violet starts by being nice … she doesn’t need a ring …. but then shows her true colors asking “that’s it??” which everyone ignores and is the completely OPPOSITE reaction to Jessica who is gushing away ….. hmmmmmm that isn’t good ) … and off we go for a proposal.  Definitely cute right down to Jason dropping a cushion on the floor for Andy to kneel on that everyone around just ignores.  Even the proposal is done in typical Andy fashion with Holly working it out and saying Yes and then Andy getting flustered and saying she has to wait for him to ask.  Loved it.  BUT my favorite bit was Jason.  He sees Adelyn and Wade and tells them that he doesn’t know if they are fucking or not but it is going to have to stop … right now.   AWESOME!!!! Poor kids looked mortified :D.   Jessica finally looks happy and James wants to take advantage of the moment but Jess wants to stay and party and calls James a wet blanket.  Uh oh … We all know where that is leading.

Sookie is not coping so well with “this much living” and goes upstairs with Arlene for a nice little heart to heart where Arlene says that at night she used to wear Terry’s jacket and pretend it was him.  Uh huh!! Suddenly the jacket at the beginning makes sense….. some more continuity.  Well done writers! We see Jackson lurking outside listening ….. which makes no sense at the time but all will become clear at the end.   Arlene and Sookie are drunk and return the to party and we see Keith again.  Remember Keith … the vamp that saved Arlene? Well there is obviously chemistry there and he references the lovely sexy dreams she has been having.  Hmmm we didn’t get to see them… oh wait yeah … I don’t care.   It was obvious they were going to have a little thing so they might as well get on with it …. but not this week.    

Lafayette goes outside to talk to James and well I am pretty sure everyone can guess what happens next.  Damn those two are so cute together but ummmmm James on the bottom???? I did NOT see that coming.  Totally figured it would be the other way round …. hmmmmmmm lots of thought about that over night and it is STILL bothering me.  Guess James is more of a sub than I pegged him for.  Shame.  Makes him less hot in my book *sigh* ….. oh well …….  Back to the story though and the worst possible outcome happens …… Jessica catches them … full on at it … IN THEIR CAR!! Oh Jessica … really??? What did you expect …. you have been ignoring him for MONTHS now …. but Jessica runs into the house … right near Jason and gets him to rescind James’s invitation leaving him stuck outside.  Jess runs upstairs and Violet gives Jason permission to go after her. Ummmmm not your brightest move there Violet I must say!  

Lafayette joins them a couple of minutes later and points out and that she needs to let him be with someone who loves him if she doesn’t.  Fair enough but we know this is going to cause problems later …….  Jessica and Jason …. alone …. again ….. hmmmmm

Sookie goes looking for Bill and is wandering around with her drunken reduced inhibitions allowing her to “hear” all the nice things people are thinking at the party…. she finds him outside and they share a moment and Bill is wondering about the whole “friends” thing.  This was not done in his time and if we are honest we all know that he loves her.  I am torn because I almost think they belong together (as much as Bill has annoyed me the last few seasons) ….. the last few episodes I see glimpses of the S1 relationship that I loved…. maybe I am getting soppy because the end is so near and I am not quite ready to say goodbye despite the total train wreck it has at times become *sigh*.   OK enough of that (I blame the music) ……. back to the story ……. so Bill goes home and Sookie returns to the party  ……

Just in time to find Lettie Mae who is thinking about Willa and blood and seeing Tara. See we all knew she should have just been thrown out when she first turned up. She NEVER has good motives and she STABS WILLA through the shoulder with a serving knife!! CRAZY BITCH!!! Lafayette comes to which the crazy Lettie Mae away while everyone tries to defuse the now fanged out vampires and are succeeding pretty well until Nicole (UGH did I mention I can’t stand her) get’s up and points out that everyone there is nuts and that “normal” people don’t carry on like this in other towns.   Maybe someone should give her the past 6 seasons to sit through and she would see that really, in the grand scheme of things, this is pretty mild.  Ship her off somewhere Sam …. we all know you have TERRIBLE taste in women!!  She is no good for you .. baby or no baby!!! Possibly the funniest reaction is Jenny (Jackson’s bit of stuff laughing in the corner at it all) … redneck trash to the end that one :D.  So Nicole takes off to go home with Sam and Violet offers to make sure they get home safely.

Now we have Jason and Jessica alone in a room … AND Violet out of the house …. so no prizes for guessing what happens next!! Yes Jessica and Jason are back on …. well at it anyway.  Sex in a chair and they must still have the no full nudity clause for Jessica because we are still not getting a topless shot of her.  Sorry guys :(.  Violet returns while they are in full swing and we are all waiting for the inevitable fireworks and fight ……. but they don’t come! Ummmmm what???  Excuse me???? Violet, after all her threats etc is just going to walk away … Ummmmmmm OKAY????    There has to be more going on that this!  (We actually see in the previews for next week she has decided to fight fire with fire but personally I would prefer fireworks …… bring on the fight!!!) …… sooooo there you have it ….. Weird! 

Away from the party (Which yes I told you took up basically the WHOLE episode),  you have the other (more interesting) storyline of Eric and Pam and the hunt for Sarah Newlin.  They arrive in Dallas and find Amber Mills (Sarah’s sister) and discover she too is a victim of Hep V with the tell tale black veins everywhere.  We learn that Jeremy (Her vampy boyfriend that turned her) has already died and she is just waiting for the same fate but she is happy to take Sarah with her and tells them that Sarah is here in Dallas and will likely be at an upscale political Gala where her parents plan to attend … and Eric and Pam plan on being there!

They are getting ready for the Gala and Pam is all dressed up like a “replublicunt” HA!!! when she tells Eric to strip so he can get ready ….. and we see that his Hep V has spread.  He is now in what they call “Stage 2” (this week anyway .. they are REALLY making these Hep V rules up as they go along) and there is another amazing Eric and Pam moment where he tells her she has to accept he is going to die.  I’m with you Pam!!! Don’t accept it!!! Scriptwriters can find a way to make this right!!! DAMNIT!!!!!  Eric has Pam cover up the ones that will be visible but we don’t get to see Eric’s outfit until the Gala and oh it is worth the wait!!! Cowboy Eric!!! Too Funny!!! Oh it reminds me of Season 2 ….. back in Dallas again … the good parts of S2…. not the weird crazy egg ritual / meat tree type parts lol. 

Pam and Eric embark on their mission to find Sarah via her parents and have made it into the Gala but Pam thinks all the women look the same so is unamused at having to find the mother.  Eric glamours the father but he knows nothing ….. meanwhile we see Sarah find her mother in the ladies room and her mother is not too thrilled to see her.  It doesn’t really matter though because while all this is going on the Yokomoto Samari crew (also known as the Yukuza) are back and are taking out EVERYONE at the party.  Seriously these are the worst group of hired security guards at this party EVER!  One of them doesn’t even have his gun pulled as it is all going down. He deserves to get shot.  Then again they are not discriminating ….. if you are there, and in the way, you are dead.  Kill all the Republicans seems to be the plan of the day for them.  We see Sarah’s father get shot in the head as he doesn’t know where Sarah is (Eric has disappeared at this point) and then we see the Yukuza head towards the bathrooms.  They chase Sarah and her mother and it looks like her mother is about to have a heart attack so Sarah leaves her and not a moment too soon as the Yukuza round the corner and shoot the Mom a few times so no need to worry about the heart attack.  

Sarah runs right into Eric who grabs her by the throat in her moment of panic.  Suddenly the yukuza are right there, the same group that killed his beloved Sylvie so after dropping Sarah he stabs them with their own swords and then rips his teeth out ….no literally …. hand in face and pulls out his whole jaw as the guy dies and walks down the hallway.  AWESOME!!!!! However, fun as that is I don’ think this will be the end of that battle …. to be continued (There were a LOT of those Yukuza guys there)

Back in Bon Temps and the party is over and Sookie heads up to bed to find the jacket from earlier laid out waiting for her.  AHA! So THAT was why Jackson was lurking around there.  Bless …. I suppose that’s quite sweet really.  So Sookie curls up in that and cries herself to sleep while over in the Compton manor Bill is taking a bath …. I know right …. random much? So he gets out and wipes the video and the music is cued up and we are all waiting …. Will Sookie suddenly be behind him …. will it be some bad guy waiting to kill him, Well????? NOPE!!! Worse!!!! Right in the center of his chest we see it ….. the markings of the start of Hep V!!! AHHHHHHHHHH  Now at this point the ONLY person I can remember Bill feeding off recently is Sookie??? What am I missing here???? UGH!!!! Annoying …… lots of things to ponder … well I suppose it takes my mind off of why James was on the bottom ………..

And now we wait until next week!!! On the plus side I have to say I am LOVING the use of the season 1 character soundtrack this season.  It feels right to me and I adore it although it almost pushes home the finality of it and that makes me sad.  Only 5 more episodes and I have no idea what they have in store…. but obviously the whole Hep V thing in our main characters is about to get upped to a while new level.   Who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (lot’s of death but none of it main cast)

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

Eric and Sarah

My Favorite Lines From “Lost Cause”

  • Pam  (To Amber) – ”I like her …. I like you” … Amber – “is it alright if I haven’t made up my mind about you yet”  Pam “Yeah .. I really like her!”
  • Eric – ”You don’t know us sweetheart – we can be assholes”
  • Violet- “I have had about 100 boyfriends die on me over the years and I remember how painful the first ones were”
  • Jackson – ”You can’t die a hero if you don’t have a righteous cause” 
  • Jason – “I don’t know if you all are fucking or not but if you are it is going to have to stop … right now
  • Pam – “Oh My God …… I’m a Republicunt!!!!!”
  • Sookie – “You might wanna dial down your sexy a notch” 
  • Arlene  – “I have to go make tinkle ….. because you know … I am a human!”
  • Sookie – “Thank you for seeing me the way I can’t see myself sometimes”
  • Pam – “How??? All these bitches look the same???”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 4 – “Death Is Not The End” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? I warn you …. this is a long one ….. Right then here we go!! Wow can you believe we are on the 4th episode already? That means we are almost halfway through.  Not liking that.  Neither did I really care for the beginning of this week’s episode, which was of course dealing with the big death last week.  We have Sookie calling Jackson to tell him his son is dead and then (far more moving) we have Jason calling Hoyt to tell him that Maxine has passed.  Poor Hoyt …. and poor Jason <3.  They did a really good job here what with Jason having grown up with Hoyt but Jessica’s glamour still working its vampire magic. Awwwwwww. Wonder what will happen when he comes back to Bon Temps.  I guess we will see ……… After the phone call Jason has decided he is done with everything but Sookie gives him the “Man Up” speech because Andy is gone (to look after Holly) and so he is all that is left.  Well who would have thought THAT would have been the case 6 seasons ago???  ***Opening Credits ….. I still love this song ………***

As with most episodes, by far the best thing in it were the moments with Eric and Pam and in particular the flashbacks.  I am loving getting more of their history together, especially when it involves 80’s and 90’s flashbacks.  Oh the memories …. but I digress ….. We start on a plane with Eric and Pam heading to Baton Rouge because Pam has decided that is where Sarah is likely to have reached out.  Eric is not amused by this and stops feeding on the lovely Air Hostess to demand they go to Shreveport to get Willa.   Eric and Pam are so great with the way they play off each other but Eric lets it slip that he is dying which Victoria (pretty Air Hostess) is unamused about as she is now going to lose her job.  I know it’s wrong but I LOVE that neither Eric nor Pam care one bit!! YES!!! This is the Eric and Pam we want to see.  The looks they share, their chemistry is just awesome…..  I love them!  

We now get the first of several flashbacks but as they are all related and are BY FAR the best bit of this entire episode I am going to put them all together …. because honestly? I want to lol.

Remember last week Pam and Eric got taken by the Yokomoto corporation after they dispensed with Sylvie back in 1986?  Well this flashback picks up right after that with Pam and Eric being “released” in Shreveport in a parking lot that will look very familiar to all the fans.  Yes this is where they get Fangtasia. But wait …… it is not the Fangtasia we know and love …. it is …. a VIDEO RENTAL STORE lmao!!! Complete with extra porn section in the basement!!!   Oh Pam is so disgusted by the whole thing it is hilarious!! We get to meet The Magister (remember him) and we learn that he made Eric Sheriff (Something Eric actually looks rather pleased about) because he wants to be able to keep an eye on him.  They learn that this punishment (running the store) is basically a forever thing at this point and when The Magsiter tosses Pam the keys she ignores them as they smack her in the chest and fall to the floor.  Oh it was so well done!! Bravo!!!  Now pay attention here …. The Magister throws out that there is an abandoned, walled up tunnel behind the basement …… FULL OF HISTORY he says ….. but that will be VERY important later.   ****OK mini side rant here ….. do we have different writers doing the flashback things?  They are so awesome with the details and the remembering things, and adding in little “extras” …. where is that in the MAIN show??? Hmmmmmm??? Continuity has just LEFT THE BUILDING with pretty much everything else…….. UGH OK I’m done for the moment … back to the flashbacks …..****

We jump to 1996 and poor Pam is STILL stuck working in that horrid little video store which is now upgrading to DVDs.   In walks a nerdy looking brunette with a list of obscure vampire movies she wants to watch.  Pam is actually impressed and the selections and half listens as the girl goes on and on about the course she is taking about monsters being misunderstood.   Suddenly out walks Eric …. in full 90’s boy band style ….with the background music of “I would die for you” …..  LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!!! And then I realize …. IT’S GINGER!!!! HA!!!! Without the blonde hair and minus the screaming I didn’t see it at first….. and well she just about dies …. right there on the spot.  Jaw on the floor …. ummmmm yes that might have been my reaction too …. WOW …. ummmmm where was I ……. oh yes so Ginger meets Eric and decides she wants to work there … and well the rest is history ….. actually we get a little more history …. and I LOVE it!!

Fast forward to 2006 and the vamps are coming out of the coffin and we see Ginger (looking much more like the Ginger we all know) getting out of a hearse, with a big chair, and heading into the video shop where they are still working.   Pam is waiting for her and is unamused by the chair until Ginger lays out the whole plan for Fangtasia, right down to Eric sitting up on the throne we all know and love.  Pam loves the idea …. and totally steals is – glamouring Ginger into thinking it was Pam’s idea in the first place.  Awesome!!!!!   Flash forward to Eric and Pam back on the plane and Eric is smiling and lovingly calls Pam a Bitch ….. but she says “but you still love me” ….. and he looks at her and just says “always”.  Awwwwwwww ❤ such a look. Just perfect!!!  I’m telling you I would watch a whole series just about these too!!!! FANGTASTIC!!!! 

Right then back to the rest of what is going on …….. Sookie, Jason, and Sam head over to see Andy and Holly and find Coby and Lisa who Sookie decides to go talk to.  Lisa is moaning that everyone is treating them like they are stupid but they know things are wrong.  After a heart to heart with the (now not so little) kids Sookie promises that she will bring their Mom back.  UGH Stupid Sookie!!! You know better than to make promises like that! Especially with the kill count this season.   Anyway Sookie knows that Holly knows what happened and that it was just glamoured away so Sookie heads in to fix that. Remember her little trick with the Black Eyes back in Season 2? Yup she can MAKE you remember and she does just that with Holly.  Oh it isn’t pretty and leaves Holly a snivelling mess for poor Andy to deal with but they don’t have time for that!! Sookie does leave him with a piece of advice ….”We like to be held”…. well OK then!!!  So they know where the survivors are and they have a plan! Well Sookie has a plan …. she is going to Bills …. in the middle of the day ….. Jason and Sam …. they have to go tell Rosie that Kevin is dead.

Staying with Jason and Sam for a moment, Sam has a little melt down and thinks he is going to go to Fangtasia now and rescue Nicole (STUPID SAM!!!!!) but Jason manages to stop him (by threatening to shoot him in the head) and they eventually get to Rosie’s and she is not happy to see them and even less happy with the news.  She makes them promise that they will avenge Kevin which, of course, they promise to do.

Over at Bill’s house Jessica and James are fighting over the fact that Jessica isn’t healing because she isn’t eating.  Apparently it has been months.  Hmmmmm they do like to change how long these vamps can go without feeding.  James goes to get Bill and Bill tries to convince her but is not doing a very good job.  Sookie turns up in the middle of it all and decides that Jessica can feed off of her.  Jessica isn’t amused because as she points out Sookie is a fairy but Sookie says she trusts her.   Sookie gets Bill and James to leave and then lays one of the best guilt trips on Jessica that I have heard in ages.  Basically Sookie doesn’t care what is going on with Jessica and her life but she needs help and Sookie has been good to Jessica so Jessica needs to suck it up and help her!   Amazingly THIS WORKS but she won’t feed off Sookie and so they send for James’s human … the wonderful Lafayette!!!! 

This leads to a wonderful scene! Nelson Ellis is OUTSTANDING this week with just the right amount of sass, sympathy, and use of the word “Hookah” to convince Jessica that he is a bad person too.  He misses Jesus and it is OK not to be perfect and not to forgive yourself but you have to keep going.   Add to that the looks that James and Lala share and yes I will admit it. My heart melted.  Awwwww <3.  Sorry Jessica I am routing for them to hook up….. the sooner the better. 

Sookie is plotting with Bill but he points out that generally the vampires around are not really going to be invested in going to a fight at Fangtasia with the H Vamps.  They have everything to lose and nothing to gain.  When asked why he is going he explains it is because he owes Sookie everything.  You know Bill …… when you act like season 1 Bill you aren’t so bad after all.  So Sookie decides Bill needs to eat ……because he needs to be at his strongest to fight ……. but  you know personally I think Sookie just wanted a good bite.  Obviously missing it having been with a wolf for 6 months.  Guessing a wolf bite wouldn’t be so appealing lol

So night has fallen and the troops have gathered to plan their attack.  Hmmmm troops might be a tad optimistic sounding as we have Sookie, Bill, Jason, Sam, Jessica, James, Violet, and 2 of James’s band mates (also vamps) Michael and Keith. Jason tries to give a rousing speech but compares it to Normandy and obviously doesn’t get much response as Normandy left beaches stained with allied blood ….. but fear not!! Eric and Pam have arrived.  Obviously looking for Willa (well on the pretense of looking for Willa) and Pam bitches that Sookie is there.  Glad to see that they are at least consistent with that but Eric does listen and “calls” Willa.  Eric, however, obviously still loves Sookie and takes a moment alone with her to discover what trouble she has gotten herself into this time.  He is appropriately disgusted about her “wolf” relationship but drops it when he sees she is hurting.  The time between them is touching and you can see how much Eric still cares and it would seem Sookie does too.  Perhaps the triangle is about to come back.  I was sure the writers were heading towards Sookie and Bill ….. but who knows.  Hmmmmmm need to ponder that. Also need to ponder the lack of Eric or Pam making any kind of negative comment to Jason about Sarah being alive.   Pam may secretly be grateful at this point as it is fueling Eric’s will to live …. but Eric … he looked pissed last week.  I can’t believe there wouldn’t even be a passing jibe??? Ugh!  Damn Writers!

Willa arrives and is not a happy babyvamp.   She wants to talk about her abandonment NOW!!! But Eric has other plans and uses the old fail safe “as you maker I command you” trick and later it is 😀

So off to battle they go …. the crew above with the additions of Eric, Pam, and Willa but Eric actually has a plan.  Remember that bricked up tunnel?  Well they are going to bust in and rescue the prisoners that way!!  Awesome!!! Except when they get there Eric has pretty much lost all his strength and after a pitiful few attempts Bill smashes down the wall in one punch …. ummmmm NO!!!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! UGH!!! That is SO WRONG!!! On SOOOOOOO many levels wrong!!!! So let me ask you this? If H Vamps are so weak even in the early stages (he is level 1) and HE has just FED well and recently …… why the hell are the other vamps any problem at all?? You have a shifter and a bunch of healthy vamps?  What the hell writers???? Make your mind up!!!! STUPID!!!!!

Anyway Sam goes in first (as a rat) and transforms and freaks Arlene and Jane (which is mildly amusing …. although I would have had Arlene making a comment about Sam being naked ….. but maybe that is me being a perv) ……. so prisoners found Sam lets them know that vamps are coming in to rescue them and they need to TRUST them.  The 3 prisoners are not too amused but seriously at this point what choice do they have? Well as Sam scurries back off as a rat it would seem that they might be too late for one of them because here comes an H Vamp and he is hungry!!  Back at the tunnel entrance it is decided that Pam and Bill will go rescue the humans (because Eric is so week) but by the time they get there Arlene is already upstairs about to be eaten.   The other 2 saved Bill decides to go after Arlene but Pam gives him a couple of words of advice …… not to try too hard to be a hero .. because she says it is never going to happen with Sookie the way he wants … not tonight …. not ever.  Hmmmmmm foreshadowing?  Certainly interesting to say the least. 

But Bill is not the only one with a plan.  Eric has decided to go through the front door, claiming he needs asylum and he brings his own human (no prizes for guessing who that is …..) Now apparently despite their apparent apathy previously, these H Vamps do have a thing for fairy blood after all ….. not that they know what it is but it is Sookie smelling so good that tempts them to let him in.   Arlene is close to death on the table and Eric is trying to buy time with the crazy H Vamps who amazingly enough all seem together enough to hold it together for this little chit chat.  Come on cavalry where are you??

Oh wait …. unexpected help? Problems? Ummmm a bit of both really as the remainder of the “Wanna be Justice League Crew” (Wanna be Mayor, Kenya, Rosie, annoying mouthy girl, and another guy along with a few others ) pull in to the parking lot armed with a Molotov cocktail. FIRE!!!! Just as our hero team is coming up the back way.  Well all hell erupts.  As the vamps go flying out the front door a bunch are picked off by the “Wanna Be League” all armed with guns and wooden bullets until a few break through to kill most of the humans off (yup none of you will be missed).   This gives the other vamps time to get out the back way and we get to see a matrix style, all hell break loose battle between the vamps and it seems that all the H Vamps get killed off and our team escapes unscathed.

That being said Sookie is trapped inside a burning Fangtasia with a dying Arlene and Eric unable to help as his infected blood (I’m assuming) is no good for healing.  She tells him to get a “Healthy” vamp.  Now why he doesn’t just “Call” Willa is anybody’s guess …… but he doesn’t …. instead he’s about to leave when Bill appears and stakes a rogue H Vamp by ripping off one of the handles from behind the bar (Season 1 Longshadow anyone????).  Pam comes in with a fire extinguisher and deals with the fire issue and gets a wonderful look from Eric (I am telling you this week was just full of them) and then she hears them outside about to throw in another flaming bottle and rushes out, snatches the bottle and sets the guy on fire.  Awesome!! 

Bill is about to give Arlene his blood when he feels Jessica in trouble so leaves to help her and Eric comes to the rescue bringing Keith.  Now Arlene is seeing Terry and hearing Terry (although for a moment Terry is the evil H Vamp but Jason shoots that one … well done Jason)  and for a moment I really thought that Arlene was about to be the next victim of this season’s slaughter run as we get to see Terry too but he tells Arlene to stay and she starts to come round.  Now she shares a little look with Keith the vampire.  Hmmmmmmm is that going to be something I wonder.  Lots to think on this episode.

We end with it being confirmed that all the H Vamps are in fact goo.  And judging by the number of bodies it looks like all the “Wanna be Justice League” are dead too with the main cast notables being Kenya and Rosie.  Pam is shouting for Eric and for a moment you wonder if perhaps he is one of the goo piles and we missed it ….. but fear not.  Eric is in a car eating Rosie.   Well Rosie there were worse ways you could have died.  Eric returns to the bar and shares a beautiful look with Sookie ….. and the credits roll …… 

And now we wait until next week!!!  Only 6 installments left…. but already things seem to be wrapping up faster than I would have expected so I am hoping they will focus on the hunt for Sarah and hopefully a cure for Eric?!  Who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Kenya
Rosie

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

Eric 90s

My Favorite Lines From “Death Is Not The End”

  • Jackson – ”He loved the fuck out of you Sookie”
  • Pam – “I’m sorry …. did we fuck and I blocked it out”
  • Eric- “Welcome to our shithole”
  • Bill – “I Owe You Everything”
  • Lafayette – “Step aside Hookah ….. give a real hookah a shot”
  • Pam – “Ginger – look at yourself and look at me …. who has better taste?”
  • Ginger – “Eric Northman is nothing if he isn’t fucking  sex on a throne” 
  • Eric – “Pam tells me you wrote a book where you claim no longer to be an asshole …. is it true?”
  • Pam – “She’s like a fucking fungus that just won’t go away”
  • Eric – “You will not drink her blood …. you will sip it … like a nice glass of barbaresco”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 1 (Premiere) – “Jesus Gonna Be Here” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again (Because let’s be honest now where else would I be?) so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season (seriously where have you been for the last several years?)…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right then here we go!!  At the end of Season 6 we didn’t have the huge number of overwhelming, gut wrenching, scream at the TV cliffhangers that True Blood (*Cough Alan Ball Cough*) has become known for (If you missed it, or like my husband failed to care enough to remember, click HERE for my season 6 finale recap), instead we had all the vamps lose their day walking ability and Eric “apparently” trapped and left to his demise in the middle of nowhere (Yup not sure anyone really bought that would be his end) and then the weird flash forward a few months later where Sookie and Alcide are a couple (gag), Sam is Mayor (ummm OK), and Arlene owns Merlottes (Now Bellefleurs) and they are all hosting a “Vampire for Every Human” mixer as Hep V is everywhere, humans are contaminated, and most of the vampire population is now doing impressions of the Walking Dead – and heading to Bon Temps for dinner!

 

Well we pick up right there. Before I even get started on them let me state it was obvious that the writers hadn’t thought this Hep V thing through.  The rules aren’t really working (as in they are making them up as they go along) and with all supernatural shows YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE RULES!!!! Ugh!!!!!! Right then with that out the way bring on the premiere!!!  The Mixer is under attack!!! Yes those walking dead hep V Vamps seem to have found Bon Temps and it is dinner time and this means fighting and it means a bloodbath.  For an opening segment it is certainly action packed.  The opening credits haven’t even rolled and Arlene, Holly, Kevin, Jane (Bodehouse)  and Nicole (Sam’s pregnant girlfriend – remember her?) have all been taken by the Hep V Vamps (For lunch later? – not quite sure what causes the kill this one – take this one plan) so Sam shifts (into his dog form ….. of course that is what you need for chasing down psycho vamps) and Alcide shifts into his (much smaller looking or that just me) wolf and they take off after the grab and goes.

Tara is guarding her mom and we get to see that she still remembers some of her cage fighting skills … WOO HOO,  Go Tara!! Jason’s new vamp Violet does a stabbing scene straight out of the Matrix and when all looks completely lost suddenly there is this whistle from the distance…… and all the Hep V Vamps super vamp speed out of there.  Yep they just stop everything and are gone. Ummmmm WHAT???  Hmmmmmm no clue yet as to who (or what)  made this whistling noise and even less so as to why they all responded it to it.  WEIRD! Even more weird…. NO ONE else questions it they just work on salvaging those that are alive and trying to come up with a plan to survive themselves ………..which is when we see Lettae Mae all covered in vamp goo screaming that TARA IS DEAD……

ROLL OPENING CREDITS (which I am pleased haven’t changed as a side note …. and Rutina Wesley was still mentioned (Tara) .. but the main man himself Alexander Skarsgaard was missing …… deliberately I’m sure to keep up the ruse that he is gone….. Or perhaps he will be in it as a “Guest star” …… that doesn’t sound interesting …

For the rest of the show, after that extreme opening there really isn’t too much exciting stuff to write about. Lots of things are set up ……. but anyway here are my thoughts ….

For the record I would bet money that this isn’t the last we have seen of Tara (not only with Rutina being in the credits) but this seems like a rather lame get out for such a big character.  Not even an on screen death? Hmmmmmm I don’t think so. My bet would be either Lettae Mae is delusional and with her eyes screwed up tight in fear she opened them and was  covered with vamp goo and assumed it was Tara because Tara wasn’t there – or Lettae Mae is delusional and saw the Hep V Vamps drag Tara off after killing the one she was fighting with and doesn’t want to deal with that.  There is the one other option that possibly Pam needed her and “Called her” but that is such a stretch I only mention it because it did flash through my mind.

One person missing from the mixer gone bad was Andy.  He stayed home with his Fae daughter Adelyn and Jessica stands as an unwanted guard outside obviously still feeling guilty over killing the other girls last season.  Andy gets the call about the fiasco and rushes over to help although is obviously conflicted about leaving Adelyn alone.  As a lovely thank you to Jessica his parting words are that he bets she didn’t over hear that Tara was dead. Oh that’s really classy Andy. *rolls eyes*.    Hmmmmm Actually I can save a whole lot of time with the rest of the Adelyn / Jessica plot right now (although it drags on through the episode) ….. Adelyn should hate Jessica but doesn’t and they chat on and off about boys etc until a rogue Hep V Vamp turns up to eat her.  Jessica protects her and manages to get her to drink a couple of drops of her blood so she always knows where she is … and then as the sun rises and Jessica and the bad vamp start to fry in the sun Adelyn invites Jessica in and saves her, sending her to the attic for the day as the bad vamp explodes in a fireball on the porch. Hmmmmm Adelyn I don’t think your daddy is going to approve of that one!

Back at the bar the aftermath of the attack is being dealt with and no one seems to be suffering more than Sookie with almost Season 1 level lack of control over her telepathy.  Was this what they meant when they were saying we were going back to basics? Only good thing to come out of it was Sookie got to hear that Alcide, just like the rest of the town, thinks everything is Sookie’s fault.  Not exactly true but hey anything that stops Sookie/Alcide action is fine with me!  Sookie takes off letting no one know where she is going and then throwing her cell phone away.  Yep good old Sookie! Oh on the way home she trips (literally) over a dead body …. as they zoom in to show who it is I am assuming this is going to be important.  Sookie just leaves her though and heads on back on her merry way.

While all this is going on there are a little gathering of  “New” folks who we will call the “Wanna Be Justice League” (For no other reason than it amused me) ….  just keep popping up this whole episode.  Firstly here at the bar (where one of them sees Sam change from Dog to Human ……. yes that helps), and they are all about killing the vampires .. ALL the vampires ….. so we know this is going to end well.  Sam manages to calm them down and convince them to go home (ummmmm how much do you wanna bet THAT’s not going to happen) but they are out of the picture for now.

Sadly Sookie makes it home OK and Alcide eventually gets there and they have a fight all based on Sookie reading his thoughts.  Oh it’s not fair …. yes Alcide it’s not fair.  This was the dumbest exchange of the night …… It’s not my fault .. I know it’s not your fault …. I know …. I know … You are telling me something I know …. BLAH!!! DULL DULL DULL …. could be worse I suppose … they could be shagging … oh wait they get to that …much later in the episode when everyone is sorry and she goes to bed and that is BLAH too … UGH SOOKIE ….. go find a vamp!!!!

Sam rallies around at the bar with his whole “vampire for every human” bit and sends them all home.  Weird though a vamp tells Sam he needs to follow the same protocol and set an example…… can’t this vamp tell he’s a shifter? He doesn’t know? Or did they forget? Or is he pretending?  More rules just ignored…. ANNOYING!

Mmmmmmm on the plus side we get to meet “New James”.  Remember James? The cute, Johnny Depp kinda reminding vamp that Jessica hooked up with at the compound? Well yes they are still together but we have a whole new actor playing him and HELLO!!!!  Wow he really reminds me of Johnny Depp now, and my husband, so yes he can say! I approve lol.   Of course I still think they could have just introduced him as a whole new vamp but as he is an improvement I’m in lol.  He takes Lala home and they seem to hit it off quite well…..smoke some drugs ….. maybe some more fun for Lala in the future? We get a nice bit of James history to fill in the time and overall he has potential.

Taking a break from the whole Bon Temps thing we finally shoot across to find out what the hell is going on with Pam and (yes we are all hoping for some Eric but I can tell you not this episode …..). Pam is in Morocco searching for her maker (which would obviously be easier had he not released her) and looking exhausted. We later find out there is no “Clean” blood (I am assuming this means Hep V Free) there and she won’t feed on the child offered.  When we see her she is playing a game of Russian Roulette with wooden bullets against another vamp who seems to think Allah will save him and has 27 times in the past (Make that 28). (Side note – this vamp looks like Tim Curry …… he didn’t until my friend the Wench pointed it out … so thanks Wench for that image and he will forever been known now as the Tim Curry Wannabe Vamp).  Well Pam wins, the vamp becomes goo, and winnings are collected but the big prize seems to be info on where Eric may be.  She eventually gets a map but apparently this is not news she wants – more on this to follow I am guessing *sigh*.

Another more interesting pairing – Jason and Violet – they are on their way home and when they get there they meet the Wanna Be Justice League.  Yes I told you they keep popping up.  Violet’s answer is to just be in charge and threaten to kill them all.  Sounds like a plan to me!  Jason, however, is not so keen on having his masculinity handed to him because he is HERS and isn’t interested in playing nice with the humans.  Go Jason!  So normally I would be on Violet’s side here but this little outburst gets Jason to go all season 1 and decide he IS going to have sex with Violet whether she agrees or not (obviously she agrees … I mean it isn’t like he is going to be able to do much if she didn’t) but we finally get some clothes ripping, over the bonnet of the car, good old sex!!! FINALLY!!! Something that we WANT to see lol.

From a pairing I care about to one that I don’t but I guess it needs mentioning.  Lettae Mae and Reverend Daniels have taken Willa back to their place.  Lettae Mae is freaked out (She healed using Willa’s Blood) and now thinks she can see Tara (We don’t get to see Tara) and Tara is trying to tell her something. Her soul is trapped … she can’t move on ….. UGH … I DON’T CARE!! Seriously .. I don’t.  This only gets a mention because Willa is there and has no where to go and for now is going to be sleeping in Rev. Daniels church basement.  Also Willa  notes that “Eric’s gone and Pam’s gone” …. as her maker I think there would be more context there if Eric was actually dead. Interesting that it was mentioned along with Pam and the EXACT same phrasing. Just my little observation …..

Oh and it is time for the “Wanna Be Justice League” again. This time they have followed Andy and Bill to an abandoned slaughterhouse looking for the Hep V Vamp nest.  They manage to find evidence they have been there (in the form of hanging, drained, decomposing bodies) but no vamps.  As a note has Bill become an even more useless vampire since losing his Billith powers? He needs Andy and the flashlight and can’t smell (or hear) that 1. there are no vamps there right now and 2. that they are about to find a room full of corpses?   Of course the “Wanna Be Justice League”  thinks it is all Bill’s fault and they are ready to kill him now and ask questions later.  Andy points out that he has more reason than any of them to kill Bill and takes the gun …. which of course he turns on them and sends them all home.  Wow “Wanna Be Justice League”  you strike out 3 for 3.

Others that are striking out are the captured crew from the beginning who we find chained up in Fangtasia’s basement.  Nice to know Eric still kept all that stuff down there.  Kevin, Holly, Arlene, Nicole, and Jane Bodehouse (Ummm ok???)  with all of them freaking out except Holly who seems to be trying to stay calm.  A vamp comes down and starts sniffing them all (now at that point my money would have been on Holly …. doesn’t she live with Andy and his Fairy daughter? I would be thinking that she smelled GOOD!!!) but no …. he goes for Kevin and apparently doesn’t want to share and kills him on the basement stairs while the girls scream on.

Morning has arrived and all non vampire residents of Bon Temps are at church.  Yes even Sookie and Alcide join them and Sookie places her hand on Lettae Mae’s shoulder and gets a mouthful of abuse for her trouble.  Lettae Mae says what basically the whole church is thinking and Sookie gets to hear it all.  She rushes out but pauses to let them know that she can HEAR them all and then we get a fairly moving speech about how she has always lived there, and that even though they all blame her she still loves them all and that if they are going to win this fight and save any of them they need to let her help.  AND THEN IT ENDS ……… Ummmm where is my cliffhanger …. where is my yell at the tv moment ….. (unless you include the bitching that they only give us 10 episodes and THIS ONE ENDED 10 minutes early …….)

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  With certain mixed emotions I both want to watch and avoid these final 9 installments …. I know there will be tears ….. Who will make it to the end???  But  honestly I’m not fooling anyone even myself ….. Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V


Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Tara – ????? Hmmmm Maybe???? Still Not Convinced … Time Will Tell
Kevin …. I guess he counts as main cast at this point lol

true-blood-season-7-jessicas-blog-james-nathan-parsons

 

My Favorite Lines From “Jesus Gonna Be Here”

  • Pam– “My God Fucking Hates Me”
  • Pam– “Everyone I love leaves, Everything I touch Dies, So Forgive me If I don’t Share Your Faith”
  • Pam – “Your God and My God can go to a motel and have a circle jerk for all I care – I’ll be in hell having a 3 way with the devil”
  • Violet– “Why don’t you take your puny little guns back home, and go fuck your depressed homey housewives with your tiny little dicks ”
  • James – “You can laugh, you can cry, you can smoke out – to Tara and the universe it makes no difference”
  • Andy – “When you pull that trigger you are crossing a line you can’t never come back from.”

 

True Blood Season 6 Ep 2 – “The Sun” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to.  My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

After last week’s episode I was back riding high on the whole True Blood saga with high hopes for this season but last night’s episode 2 just didn’t work for me.  Don’t get me wrong I am not ready to write this season off yet but honestly I think they had a WHOLE lot of information that they know we are going to need later in the season and just piled it all into this episode with not a lot of anything actually happening. 

 So where shall we start ….

Well how about with the whole “Warlow” mystery as that is where this week’s episode starts off.  We see Warlow coming through a ?rip in the fabric of dimensions on the bridge where the Stackhouse parents were killed and Sookie having some weird dreams.  Contrary to my thoughts last week Rutger Hauer’s character is not going to be a double casting and he reveals to Jason that he is in fact Niall the Fairy Great Grandfather and that he wants to stop Warlow.  He shows that he has the same “light” powers (x about 100) that Sookie has and we get to see him give Sookie a lesson that will allow her to “enhance” her power for one big KILL SHOT that will finish Warlow but then will get rid of all her Fae powers forever.  There is a fair amount of Niall / Jason stuff this week that is mildly amusing but really it was just an excuse to get across information that we are going to need later on.  Over all YAWN!

Over at Fangtasia Tara is not doing well having been shot with what appeared to be a Tazer last week when the bar was raided and Tara couldn’t keep her big mouth shut.  Eric and Nora arrive and Eric manages to discover that she was in fact shot with a silver bullet which then continually releases UV into the vamp. Hmmm not a pleasant way to go.  Guess the General wasn’t kidding last year when he said he was developing new weapons.  No one is happy in that camp, Pam and Nora just keep bickering  and Eric after agreeing that war with humans is just the way it is going to be sends Nora off to go back through the book of Lilith to try and find ANYTHING that could help destroy Bill despite her many complaints that there is nothing there.

We do get to see Nora discover a prophecy about the people leading the god into the sun.  She has little heart to heart with Pam basically telling her that Eric did everything for Pam’s own good and that he does love her.  Yes well we all knew that anyway.  She then takes off saying she will be back.  In the meantime Pam’s human (we assume she means ginger) has left half a carton of blood for them. Well that is new … cartons of blood now?  Oh well I guess they had to find some explanation.  Personally I like Jessica’s solution better (coming up in a minute).

Talking of the Vampire God – Billith continues to be losing it this week as after his “visit” from the invading Lilith clones he is now having visions of the torture of vampires.  What we don’t realise at this point is that he is actually getting visions of what is about to come.  Despite Jessica’s protests he basically shuts down and goes pretty much catatonic (hmmmmmm almost an improvement personality wise there) and goes for a little “dream” visit with the actual Lilith who tells him that things are starting.  Yes very helpful and cryptic. 

Jessica has this great idea to fix it and calls the equivalent of “Vamp Meals On Wheels” so that Bill will feed.  Well this “meal” got a lot more than she bargained for when the (still unmoving) Bill summons some sort of weird power, causes her body to contort in an absolutely ridiculous fashion and then basically repel all the blood from her body from her mouth into his before collapsing dead much to the screams of fear from Jessica cowering in the corner.  Not really sure what the point of this was other than some “new special effects” but it didn’t really hold any interest for me at all.  Then again not a lot that Bill does seems to anyway lol.

Day breaks and Arlene is busy running Merlottes and bitching at Sookie for forgetting her shift.  Before Sookie can get there Patrick’s wife (remember the one they killed because of the whole pointless iFritt story last year) who is looking for her husband.  Arlene takes charge telling the pregnant wife that yep Patrick is a jerk and he is gone and she just needs to get on with it because me suck and she should know!  Yet another plot point that I am guessing is going to just keep on popping up this season but at this point is kinda pointless.

Before Sookie can make it to the bar she finds a man (Ben)  who has been attacked by vampires.  We quickly find out that he is in fact part fairy like her and this is obviously the love interest that has been rumored for Sookie this season.  Sookie being Sookie of course takes him home and fixes him up.  Yet more filler setting up for later in the season but she does send him off to the big field where the secret fairy club is from last year where apparently he will be safe.  Only good thing about that was we got a quick peek of Andy and his little faerie brood as he is wandering around with them yelling for Morella to come and help him with them (with no success yet).

Sam has left Lafayette looking after Emma while he checks in to work and he gets confronted by someone with a whole lot of knowledge about shifters and weres and whats going on.  She wants Sam to come out and tell the whole story to the world and help the supernatural creatures all come out and work together.  Again more setting up for the season.  Poor Sam is not having a good episode because after a day of this he goes home only to find that although Emma and Lafayette have been safe all day once he gets home Alcide and the pack are waiting to take Emma back with them.  Hmmmmm Alcide has turned all power happy it seems.  He actually goes along with this injuring Lafayette and Sam in order to run off with that poor little wolf girl.  Not that I really care about all the shifter / were politics but this seems a big deviation for Alcide’s character. Maybe that V messed him up more than we figured.

Talking of messed up we get to see what Eric’s plan is.  He is going to disguise himself as a reporter and go and have a little chat with Governor Burrell.  Hmmmm not bad as ideas go and it looks like it is going to work.  After some pointless chit chat Eric gets down to the vampire stuff and tries to glamour the Governor and fix everything up.  Notice I said try?  Well it turns out the government has been very busy and they now have contact lenses to protect against glamouring.  Very inconvenient.  Maybe Jason should get a pair lol.  So Eric is captured and about to be hauled off for “examination” somewhere obviously not very pleasant but there is one thing they obviously didn’t know.  Vampires Fly!! And Eric takes off safely to the skies … for now anyway and puts into action part 2.   He appears at the Governor’s daughter’s window (the same daughter that is not too impressed with her Daddy’s little lockdown campaign for her at the moment) and he just waits for her to take out those lenses and glamours his way into her bedroom.  Love it!!

So like I said lots of set up for good things to come but nothing really exciting going on this week.  I was a little disappointed but then the previews for next week look brilliant so roll on Sunday because Waiting Sucks!!!

 

V””V

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Favorite Lines From ” The Sun” (not many this week … it was a little dry for me)

  • Nora: I am so sorry that your little bar was robbed and that you’re scared but Eric and I have to deal with a little matter of killing a vampire God”
  • Eric – “If The Humans Want War – We Will Give Them War!”
  • Arlene – “Sometimes life is just a shit-sandwich”.
  • Arlene – “Sugar this is Bon Temps. Down here ‘organic’ means you play the fancy piano at church”