True Blood Season 7 Ep 4 – “Death Is Not The End” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? I warn you …. this is a long one ….. Right then here we go!! Wow can you believe we are on the 4th episode already? That means we are almost halfway through.  Not liking that.  Neither did I really care for the beginning of this week’s episode, which was of course dealing with the big death last week.  We have Sookie calling Jackson to tell him his son is dead and then (far more moving) we have Jason calling Hoyt to tell him that Maxine has passed.  Poor Hoyt …. and poor Jason <3.  They did a really good job here what with Jason having grown up with Hoyt but Jessica’s glamour still working its vampire magic. Awwwwwww. Wonder what will happen when he comes back to Bon Temps.  I guess we will see ……… After the phone call Jason has decided he is done with everything but Sookie gives him the “Man Up” speech because Andy is gone (to look after Holly) and so he is all that is left.  Well who would have thought THAT would have been the case 6 seasons ago???  ***Opening Credits ….. I still love this song ………***

As with most episodes, by far the best thing in it were the moments with Eric and Pam and in particular the flashbacks.  I am loving getting more of their history together, especially when it involves 80’s and 90’s flashbacks.  Oh the memories …. but I digress ….. We start on a plane with Eric and Pam heading to Baton Rouge because Pam has decided that is where Sarah is likely to have reached out.  Eric is not amused by this and stops feeding on the lovely Air Hostess to demand they go to Shreveport to get Willa.   Eric and Pam are so great with the way they play off each other but Eric lets it slip that he is dying which Victoria (pretty Air Hostess) is unamused about as she is now going to lose her job.  I know it’s wrong but I LOVE that neither Eric nor Pam care one bit!! YES!!! This is the Eric and Pam we want to see.  The looks they share, their chemistry is just awesome…..  I love them!  

We now get the first of several flashbacks but as they are all related and are BY FAR the best bit of this entire episode I am going to put them all together …. because honestly? I want to lol.

Remember last week Pam and Eric got taken by the Yokomoto corporation after they dispensed with Sylvie back in 1986?  Well this flashback picks up right after that with Pam and Eric being “released” in Shreveport in a parking lot that will look very familiar to all the fans.  Yes this is where they get Fangtasia. But wait …… it is not the Fangtasia we know and love …. it is …. a VIDEO RENTAL STORE lmao!!! Complete with extra porn section in the basement!!!   Oh Pam is so disgusted by the whole thing it is hilarious!! We get to meet The Magister (remember him) and we learn that he made Eric Sheriff (Something Eric actually looks rather pleased about) because he wants to be able to keep an eye on him.  They learn that this punishment (running the store) is basically a forever thing at this point and when The Magsiter tosses Pam the keys she ignores them as they smack her in the chest and fall to the floor.  Oh it was so well done!! Bravo!!!  Now pay attention here …. The Magister throws out that there is an abandoned, walled up tunnel behind the basement …… FULL OF HISTORY he says ….. but that will be VERY important later.   ****OK mini side rant here ….. do we have different writers doing the flashback things?  They are so awesome with the details and the remembering things, and adding in little “extras” …. where is that in the MAIN show??? Hmmmmmm??? Continuity has just LEFT THE BUILDING with pretty much everything else…….. UGH OK I’m done for the moment … back to the flashbacks …..****

We jump to 1996 and poor Pam is STILL stuck working in that horrid little video store which is now upgrading to DVDs.   In walks a nerdy looking brunette with a list of obscure vampire movies she wants to watch.  Pam is actually impressed and the selections and half listens as the girl goes on and on about the course she is taking about monsters being misunderstood.   Suddenly out walks Eric …. in full 90’s boy band style ….with the background music of “I would die for you” …..  LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!!! And then I realize …. IT’S GINGER!!!! HA!!!! Without the blonde hair and minus the screaming I didn’t see it at first….. and well she just about dies …. right there on the spot.  Jaw on the floor …. ummmmm yes that might have been my reaction too …. WOW …. ummmmm where was I ……. oh yes so Ginger meets Eric and decides she wants to work there … and well the rest is history ….. actually we get a little more history …. and I LOVE it!!

Fast forward to 2006 and the vamps are coming out of the coffin and we see Ginger (looking much more like the Ginger we all know) getting out of a hearse, with a big chair, and heading into the video shop where they are still working.   Pam is waiting for her and is unamused by the chair until Ginger lays out the whole plan for Fangtasia, right down to Eric sitting up on the throne we all know and love.  Pam loves the idea …. and totally steals is – glamouring Ginger into thinking it was Pam’s idea in the first place.  Awesome!!!!!   Flash forward to Eric and Pam back on the plane and Eric is smiling and lovingly calls Pam a Bitch ….. but she says “but you still love me” ….. and he looks at her and just says “always”.  Awwwwwwww ❤ such a look. Just perfect!!!  I’m telling you I would watch a whole series just about these too!!!! FANGTASTIC!!!! 

Right then back to the rest of what is going on …….. Sookie, Jason, and Sam head over to see Andy and Holly and find Coby and Lisa who Sookie decides to go talk to.  Lisa is moaning that everyone is treating them like they are stupid but they know things are wrong.  After a heart to heart with the (now not so little) kids Sookie promises that she will bring their Mom back.  UGH Stupid Sookie!!! You know better than to make promises like that! Especially with the kill count this season.   Anyway Sookie knows that Holly knows what happened and that it was just glamoured away so Sookie heads in to fix that. Remember her little trick with the Black Eyes back in Season 2? Yup she can MAKE you remember and she does just that with Holly.  Oh it isn’t pretty and leaves Holly a snivelling mess for poor Andy to deal with but they don’t have time for that!! Sookie does leave him with a piece of advice ….”We like to be held”…. well OK then!!!  So they know where the survivors are and they have a plan! Well Sookie has a plan …. she is going to Bills …. in the middle of the day ….. Jason and Sam …. they have to go tell Rosie that Kevin is dead.

Staying with Jason and Sam for a moment, Sam has a little melt down and thinks he is going to go to Fangtasia now and rescue Nicole (STUPID SAM!!!!!) but Jason manages to stop him (by threatening to shoot him in the head) and they eventually get to Rosie’s and she is not happy to see them and even less happy with the news.  She makes them promise that they will avenge Kevin which, of course, they promise to do.

Over at Bill’s house Jessica and James are fighting over the fact that Jessica isn’t healing because she isn’t eating.  Apparently it has been months.  Hmmmmm they do like to change how long these vamps can go without feeding.  James goes to get Bill and Bill tries to convince her but is not doing a very good job.  Sookie turns up in the middle of it all and decides that Jessica can feed off of her.  Jessica isn’t amused because as she points out Sookie is a fairy but Sookie says she trusts her.   Sookie gets Bill and James to leave and then lays one of the best guilt trips on Jessica that I have heard in ages.  Basically Sookie doesn’t care what is going on with Jessica and her life but she needs help and Sookie has been good to Jessica so Jessica needs to suck it up and help her!   Amazingly THIS WORKS but she won’t feed off Sookie and so they send for James’s human … the wonderful Lafayette!!!! 

This leads to a wonderful scene! Nelson Ellis is OUTSTANDING this week with just the right amount of sass, sympathy, and use of the word “Hookah” to convince Jessica that he is a bad person too.  He misses Jesus and it is OK not to be perfect and not to forgive yourself but you have to keep going.   Add to that the looks that James and Lala share and yes I will admit it. My heart melted.  Awwwww <3.  Sorry Jessica I am routing for them to hook up….. the sooner the better. 

Sookie is plotting with Bill but he points out that generally the vampires around are not really going to be invested in going to a fight at Fangtasia with the H Vamps.  They have everything to lose and nothing to gain.  When asked why he is going he explains it is because he owes Sookie everything.  You know Bill …… when you act like season 1 Bill you aren’t so bad after all.  So Sookie decides Bill needs to eat ……because he needs to be at his strongest to fight ……. but  you know personally I think Sookie just wanted a good bite.  Obviously missing it having been with a wolf for 6 months.  Guessing a wolf bite wouldn’t be so appealing lol

So night has fallen and the troops have gathered to plan their attack.  Hmmmm troops might be a tad optimistic sounding as we have Sookie, Bill, Jason, Sam, Jessica, James, Violet, and 2 of James’s band mates (also vamps) Michael and Keith. Jason tries to give a rousing speech but compares it to Normandy and obviously doesn’t get much response as Normandy left beaches stained with allied blood ….. but fear not!! Eric and Pam have arrived.  Obviously looking for Willa (well on the pretense of looking for Willa) and Pam bitches that Sookie is there.  Glad to see that they are at least consistent with that but Eric does listen and “calls” Willa.  Eric, however, obviously still loves Sookie and takes a moment alone with her to discover what trouble she has gotten herself into this time.  He is appropriately disgusted about her “wolf” relationship but drops it when he sees she is hurting.  The time between them is touching and you can see how much Eric still cares and it would seem Sookie does too.  Perhaps the triangle is about to come back.  I was sure the writers were heading towards Sookie and Bill ….. but who knows.  Hmmmmmm need to ponder that. Also need to ponder the lack of Eric or Pam making any kind of negative comment to Jason about Sarah being alive.   Pam may secretly be grateful at this point as it is fueling Eric’s will to live …. but Eric … he looked pissed last week.  I can’t believe there wouldn’t even be a passing jibe??? Ugh!  Damn Writers!

Willa arrives and is not a happy babyvamp.   She wants to talk about her abandonment NOW!!! But Eric has other plans and uses the old fail safe “as you maker I command you” trick and later it is 😀

So off to battle they go …. the crew above with the additions of Eric, Pam, and Willa but Eric actually has a plan.  Remember that bricked up tunnel?  Well they are going to bust in and rescue the prisoners that way!!  Awesome!!! Except when they get there Eric has pretty much lost all his strength and after a pitiful few attempts Bill smashes down the wall in one punch …. ummmmm NO!!!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! UGH!!! That is SO WRONG!!! On SOOOOOOO many levels wrong!!!! So let me ask you this? If H Vamps are so weak even in the early stages (he is level 1) and HE has just FED well and recently …… why the hell are the other vamps any problem at all?? You have a shifter and a bunch of healthy vamps?  What the hell writers???? Make your mind up!!!! STUPID!!!!!

Anyway Sam goes in first (as a rat) and transforms and freaks Arlene and Jane (which is mildly amusing …. although I would have had Arlene making a comment about Sam being naked ….. but maybe that is me being a perv) ……. so prisoners found Sam lets them know that vamps are coming in to rescue them and they need to TRUST them.  The 3 prisoners are not too amused but seriously at this point what choice do they have? Well as Sam scurries back off as a rat it would seem that they might be too late for one of them because here comes an H Vamp and he is hungry!!  Back at the tunnel entrance it is decided that Pam and Bill will go rescue the humans (because Eric is so week) but by the time they get there Arlene is already upstairs about to be eaten.   The other 2 saved Bill decides to go after Arlene but Pam gives him a couple of words of advice …… not to try too hard to be a hero .. because she says it is never going to happen with Sookie the way he wants … not tonight …. not ever.  Hmmmmmm foreshadowing?  Certainly interesting to say the least. 

But Bill is not the only one with a plan.  Eric has decided to go through the front door, claiming he needs asylum and he brings his own human (no prizes for guessing who that is …..) Now apparently despite their apparent apathy previously, these H Vamps do have a thing for fairy blood after all ….. not that they know what it is but it is Sookie smelling so good that tempts them to let him in.   Arlene is close to death on the table and Eric is trying to buy time with the crazy H Vamps who amazingly enough all seem together enough to hold it together for this little chit chat.  Come on cavalry where are you??

Oh wait …. unexpected help? Problems? Ummmm a bit of both really as the remainder of the “Wanna be Justice League Crew” (Wanna be Mayor, Kenya, Rosie, annoying mouthy girl, and another guy along with a few others ) pull in to the parking lot armed with a Molotov cocktail. FIRE!!!! Just as our hero team is coming up the back way.  Well all hell erupts.  As the vamps go flying out the front door a bunch are picked off by the “Wanna Be League” all armed with guns and wooden bullets until a few break through to kill most of the humans off (yup none of you will be missed).   This gives the other vamps time to get out the back way and we get to see a matrix style, all hell break loose battle between the vamps and it seems that all the H Vamps get killed off and our team escapes unscathed.

That being said Sookie is trapped inside a burning Fangtasia with a dying Arlene and Eric unable to help as his infected blood (I’m assuming) is no good for healing.  She tells him to get a “Healthy” vamp.  Now why he doesn’t just “Call” Willa is anybody’s guess …… but he doesn’t …. instead he’s about to leave when Bill appears and stakes a rogue H Vamp by ripping off one of the handles from behind the bar (Season 1 Longshadow anyone????).  Pam comes in with a fire extinguisher and deals with the fire issue and gets a wonderful look from Eric (I am telling you this week was just full of them) and then she hears them outside about to throw in another flaming bottle and rushes out, snatches the bottle and sets the guy on fire.  Awesome!! 

Bill is about to give Arlene his blood when he feels Jessica in trouble so leaves to help her and Eric comes to the rescue bringing Keith.  Now Arlene is seeing Terry and hearing Terry (although for a moment Terry is the evil H Vamp but Jason shoots that one … well done Jason)  and for a moment I really thought that Arlene was about to be the next victim of this season’s slaughter run as we get to see Terry too but he tells Arlene to stay and she starts to come round.  Now she shares a little look with Keith the vampire.  Hmmmmmmm is that going to be something I wonder.  Lots to think on this episode.

We end with it being confirmed that all the H Vamps are in fact goo.  And judging by the number of bodies it looks like all the “Wanna be Justice League” are dead too with the main cast notables being Kenya and Rosie.  Pam is shouting for Eric and for a moment you wonder if perhaps he is one of the goo piles and we missed it ….. but fear not.  Eric is in a car eating Rosie.   Well Rosie there were worse ways you could have died.  Eric returns to the bar and shares a beautiful look with Sookie ….. and the credits roll …… 

And now we wait until next week!!!  Only 6 installments left…. but already things seem to be wrapping up faster than I would have expected so I am hoping they will focus on the hunt for Sarah and hopefully a cure for Eric?!  Who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!


Main Cast Death Count This Episode


Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Maxine Fortenberry

Eric 90s

My Favorite Lines From “Death Is Not The End”

  • Jackson – ”He loved the fuck out of you Sookie”
  • Pam – “I’m sorry …. did we fuck and I blocked it out”
  • Eric- “Welcome to our shithole”
  • Bill – “I Owe You Everything”
  • Lafayette – “Step aside Hookah ….. give a real hookah a shot”
  • Pam – “Ginger – look at yourself and look at me …. who has better taste?”
  • Ginger – “Eric Northman is nothing if he isn’t fucking  sex on a throne” 
  • Eric – “Pam tells me you wrote a book where you claim no longer to be an asshole …. is it true?”
  • Pam – “She’s like a fucking fungus that just won’t go away”
  • Eric – “You will not drink her blood …. you will sip it … like a nice glass of barbaresco”

True Blood Waiting Sucks …. Season 5 Pam / Eric Clip … Spoilers!!! V””V

Well Alan ball and the team at HBO seem to have heard the pleas we have been making to release a vampire based Season 5 Sneak Peek and last night rewarded us with a clip of Eric and Pam (who are normally my 2 favorite vampires from the show) … so here is the extended clip complete with the HBO Go Footage and then I will tell you my thoughts (Or you can just watch the clip and sign out … your choice).

Right then where to start.  Obviously this is all over the “escape” of Russell Edgington from his concrete prison.  Now I mused for about 5 seconds that perhaps Pam had been involved in his being freed during the Season 4 finale, but because I know the character so well, (or at least I thought I did), I immediately recognized that this would just not be an option for her. She would never betray Eric like that even though Eric seems to be totally messed up over Sookie and her stupid fairy vagina!

This “Eric” is ridiculous! I don’t believe on ANY level he would really think that Pam would betray him!  Where is the Eric from Season 3 that was so devastated when the Magister had Pam in his nasty self-righteous clutches? What happened to the Maker who was willing to risk everything to get back and save his child? And most of all BILL COMPTON THREW YOU in a concrete pit when you both sunk KRE?  Have you forgotten that Eric?  What has Pam ever done other than try to deal with the witches and accidently (OK Maybe on purpose) endanger little miss Sookie who as it turned out was FINE anyway *Rolls Eyes*. 

One little Nan Flanigan killing and you are suddenly a Bill Compton fan?  Hmmmmm no I don’t think so!  Eric carried a grudge against KRE for over 1000 years carefully plotting, planning, waiting for the perfect time to execute his revenge but he is going to threaten Pam with NO evidence when all she has EVER done is look out for his best interests. Not kewl Viking Vampire … not kewl at all!!!!!

I have said it before and I say it again! Bring back the REAL Viking Eric!!! The one with the total disdain for humans and their pretty much anything to do with them.  The one that will “use” a human for his needs but sees them as a decidedly lower rank on the food chain. This “feelings” Eric doesn’t work for me at all. Eric, Bill and Alcide the Werewolf? Is that what we have to look forward to? Oh for the love of Cain I hope not.

Which brings us to Pam (Who looked beautiful as ever). Pam asking to be released as a last act of desperation. Pleading, crying, not understanding? Where is the snark? The witty one liners? The Pam I love tells Eric a few facts of life even when he doesn’t want to hear them?  The Pam that killed Eric’s best assassin when Bill sent him after her. That is who Eric needs right now, not crying, scared, remorseful Pam.

As we have all been warned be careful what you wish for, I was so desperate for a vampire sneak peek and now I have to say I am disappointed with where it seems to be going.  Oh fear not my fellow addicts I will still be watching … I am still obsessively counting down the days, watching old episodes, and scouring the net for new spoilers, but I feel the snark level rising….. like a starving newborn babyvamp forced to drink Tru Blood ……


(Picture courtesy of

True Blood Waiting Sucks …. Season 5 Sam / Luna Clip … Spoilers!!! V””V

Shifters, and Brujos, and Weres … Oh My!!! Or should the question really be OH WHY??? Why is Alan Ball and HBO deciding to torture us after such an AMAZING first Season 5 Sneak Peek Clip (Click Here to see both the clip and my obsessive second by second thoughts about it) which was packed full of delicious, vamp filled action.

So this is what we got for this week ……..(Thanks to TheTrueBloodSource for the merged clip including the HBO Go Extras)

Sam and Luna sitting on a couch discussing who would want to hurt them … hmmmmmmm let me think …. I am going to go with the WHOLE PACK OF WOLVES left after you killed their Alpha Marcus, (not really a huge loss – smarmy little man he was), ex lover of Luna and father of her daughter.  Yes overall I am going to say they are probably not too happy with you.  So we see Sam going out and there is a gunshot.  Big Deal.  Chances are they either 1 – shooting it in the air to get attention or 2 they shot him in the leg / any other non fatal area, because they aren’t going to kill Sam off oh and if they do … well one less shifter storyline to follow lol.

What I want to know is WHERE ARE THE VAMPIRE CLIPS!!! True Blood used to be referred to as vampire porn.  If nothing else the storylines were vampire-centric and most of the focus was around them.  I want THAT True Blood back!!! I am a vampire lover and I need my vampire fix!!!!  The sneak peek promised us new vampires, leaked spoilers have talked about “The Authority” coming to town and the vampires involved in that.  They still need to sort out Pam and Eric (Them being on the outs is not working for me and just doesn’t make any sense!), oh and talking of Pam …. is she cured now?  Are they going with the old – the witch died and the curse died with her back up plan?  Since Ginger started giving her the “cosmetic” injections which Dr Ludwig herself assured us all would not CURE the curse just fix the cosmetic issues we have heard nothing about it.  An Oversight? Something else to just add to the list of things we will never know?? Annoying!!!

Then of course there is the whole issue of King Russell coming back!! I for one would be happy to see a clip of what he is going to be getting up to!! Will he team up with Bill and Eric with their new hatred of all things Authority?  (after all they are going to be wanted Vamps now having staked Nan), or will KRE be after them as well making it more a Bill and Eric against them all kind of feel?  Either way there is obviously a cornucopia of vamp storyline to come so why oh why HBO can you not throw us out just a LITTLE treat and instead of showing us Terry, Alcide, Lafayette, and now Sam and Luna (Or yes Sookie was in there too … big deal), CAN WE PLEASE SEE A VAMP!!  ANY VAMP!!! At this point I don’t care which one.  Yes your video on “Mistakes Vamps Make” (See video HERE) was hilarious and I have watched and laughed over and over, but let’s be honest … you could have released that several months ago as an aid in the whole long True Blood Hiatus that we all suffer every year. That doesn’t count as a Season 5 sneak peek and that’s what I want.

And that is where we are … the countdown is on … under 7 weeks to go … and WAITING STILL SUCKS!!!!



True Blood Season 4 Ep 11 – Soul Of Fire SPOILER Note V””V

Blog Originally Posted in Vampire Loving Dorks  September 2011 – Reposting as Season 5 2012 Blogs will be here

So can you believe we are at episode 11 already??  How did this season go by so quickly?? I can feel the sadness already creeping into my bones as we approach the long year ahead with nothing tv worth on Sunday nights *Sigh* But enough of that … onto Episode 11 …….

The Vamp Squad (aka Eric, Bill, Jessica, and Pam) are all ready to blow Moon Goddess to kingdom come with Jessica comparing saying she is so fed up with it for her it’s like having PMS all the time.

While they debate outside Marnie is having issues with her motley crew inside with all of them (Except puppy dog Roy) not being too thrilled at the idea of vamps outside with automatic weapons and a primary goal of killing off all the witches and to be honest I can’t say I blame them.  Casey )Young redhead wiccan) makes the mistake of rushing towards Marnie and ends up with a knife in her gut for her troubles.  Oops …. Marnie doesn’t look to bothered by this though as her not loyal soldier falls down dying.

While Marnie may not be bothered by her murdering act Antonia has a whole different take on things and ejects herself from Marnie to let her know what she thinks and when a 400 year old crazy necromancer says you have gone too far it may be time to question what you have done.  Lafayette with his new medium power gets to see all of this and provides a play-by-play to the others which sadly results in Marnie deciding she is not ready to give up her “Antonia power” and casts a binding spell forcing Antonia to be one with her.  Antonia fights but ultimately loses so Marnie can carrying on with her plotting.

Outside Jason has come found the Vamp Attack Squad and is trying to explain that they can’t blow up the place as Sookie is in there (to which there is a hilarious set of “Fucking Sookie comments from Bill, Eric and Pam … never have those 2 words portrayed so much!!!) and Jason is none to pleased with that reaction and gives Bill and Eric a lecture which results in them agreeing to back off and come up with another plan much to Pam’s disgust.  I agree Pam …. BLOW THE PLACE UP!!! …hee hee hee

Just to complicate things a little more Jason shows them the magical force field that is surrounding the whole building.  Hmmmm that will give them something to think about for a couple of mins while we head over to Marcus’s garage where Sam and Alcide are questioning one of the flunkies trying to find out where Marcus is at the same time that Luna comes rushing in screaming that Emma has gone missing.  We get to know that Marcus is with Debbie slut and trying to plan to take her and Emma off and make a family somewhere but wait ….. Debbie slut isn’t too sure she wants to betray Alcide because she loves him  … hmmm that’s different …..We will see how this plays out later ……

Back inside Moon Goddess Jesus is saying that Casey isn’t dead and that he and Lafayette need to take her into the bathroom to try to heal her.  Marnie for some reason agrees (I can only think that she is hoping that by agreeing to the insanity she will get some of their faith back and that maybe Casey can be saved but that girl is way past saving).  Either way it lets Jesus get some privacy and even come out and grab a bunch of witchy supplies to “help heal Casey”.  Maybe Marnie is distracted by the Holly / Sookie intervention that they are trying on her with everything from I know you are kind to I don’t know you but I heard good things and I’m a freak too … *rolls eyes*.  Marnie reminds me then of a Laurell K Hamilton quote … I would rather they love me but if not love then fear will do …. not the exact quote .. and not exactly what she says but that’s the general idea …. in other words Marnie is so far off the tracks now I don’t think she is ever coming back to the station!!!

Meanwhile still lost in the woods somewhere Andy is having a hilarious conversation with himself about staying sane while he tries to find his way home back!  Just to help his sanity a fairy decides to appear (damn I thought we were done with the fairy crap apart from Sookie and her electric hands) and attacks Andy because he smells like a vamp!

Outside Moon Goddess 2 vamp-bots under Marnie’s control attack the Vamp Sqaud … one immediately ending up as a pile of vamp goo and the other pinned to the floor being threatened to be turned into vamp goo but not before Pam snags the Vintage Cartier necklace … go Pam lol.  Vamp-bot is decidedly uncaring that her life is about to end as is totally under Marnie’s control although the vamp is professing loyalty to Antonia … guess they are all confused.  Bill takes this opportunity to call out Antonia and tell her to stop being a coward and hiding behind her magic … hmmmmmmm let me see ….. Vamp wanting to kill me and I have a magical force field .. I’m keeping it up lmao!!! …..But Marnie takes Sookie outside with her (as the vamps seem to like her) …. and she immediately orders her vamp-bot to attack the king … which results in Bill throwing said vamp bot into the force field which turns out to be made of harnessed sunshine …. OUCH …. One totally fried vamp-bot instantly.  Hmmmm this could put a dent in the Vamp Squads plans!!!

Marnie has come up with a solution …… if Bill and Eric kill themselves she will let Sookie go …. Pam thinks this is hilarious until Marnie tells her to watch that her lips don’t fall off which reminds me yet again that Pam is still cosmetically fixed only.  Are they ever going to address the fact that she too has a spell that needs reversing???  Eric and Bill however are not laughing and they agree much to Jessica and Pam’s disgust and quite right too … I mean really 2 vamps for Sookie .. what kind of deal is that!!! Even Sookie knows it is ridiculous.  So the great plan is …… Bill will kill Eric and then Pam will Kill Bill and Sookie with be “as free as a dead bird” … hmmmmmmm yes that sounds STUPID!!!!  Luckily Pam still has her brain and as she says “The True Death To Save Bo Peep .. I don’t fucking think so!!!” and despite Eric FORBIDDING her she fires her rocket launcher right at Sookie!!!!

Sadly the magic force field is too strong and whilst it causes a lot of shaking and a big flashback which Jason takes the brunt of ending up looking very extra crispy, Sookie is just fine.  Oh don’t worry about Jason ….. Jessica is on scene to heal him once more with her wonderful vamp blood because the one thing they need is a stronger connection lol.  Pam, however, is in a whole lot of trouble with Eric …

To give Moon Goddess time to recover Alan Ball decides this is the time to take us over to Alcide’s house to deal with the whole were / shifter issue.  Sam and Marcus get into it while Debbie is held back by a very pissed off Alcide.  Rules for the fight … no shifting *sigh* ….. what kind of dumbass rule is that? … OK lets leave them to fight as its boring anyway and head back to Moon Goddess ….

Marnie has realised that things are not going well and has retreated inside along with Sookie who she claims the vamps obviously now DON’T care about …. not quite true …. it was just Pam that wanted to sacrifice her but that’s OK.  Roy is still so far up Marnie’s ass that he congratulates her on frying that one fanger like a moth to a flame with a High Five … oh please Roy … WAKE UP and smell the death on the horizon!!!  Meanwhile Jesus has been busy in the bathroom preparing to open that very dark place in him (you know the one that causes his demon face to appear)

Andy is busy playing ET with the fairy and has sworn by the glowing finger light to protect her (whatever that means) and then they get down to business … yes after 4 seasons Andy is finally getting some action … luckily we don’t have to see too much of it lol

Sam and Marcus have finally finished fighting and Sam wins but of course does the honorable thing and not kill him but Marcus being Marcus can’t let it go and tries to shoot Sam in the back only to be stopped by Alcide once and for all …. yes Alcide kills Marcus by breaking his neck … although it did seem to be an accident.  This apparently breaks something in Alcide and he abjures Debbie … now for those of you that haven’t read the books this is a HUGE deal … when he says he see’s her no more, hear’s her no more etc he means as far as he is concerned she is totally dead to him…. shame it doesn’t actually cause her to become dead but it is about as powerful a thing as a were ever does (in the books they say that very few ever get to witness such a thing) … so I guess well done Alcide??? Oh who am I kidding … I couldn’t care less … back to the real action …..

Marnie is still unaware that Jesus is cooking with some major juju in the bathroom and she looks in the pool of spilled blood on the floor and decides that would make a good scrying mirror … hmmmmmmmm ok ….. so she sees the present (vamps plotting outside) .. and the future (her dead on the floor) which she is none to impressed about and then lies to the room saying she has seen ALL their deaths.  Yay Marnie way to raise morale!!  The vampires are going to kill us all .. form a circle … so we have magic in the main room ….. Jesus casting magic in the bathroom … there is a whole lot of magic floating about in that place!!!!

Marnie’s magic apparently is cause for all vampires to practice their walking into the wind mime routine to be held back only by Jason … I’m sorry I mean Marnie is making them all walk into the force field but luckily Sookie can “Hear” Jason trying to save them and once again her magic light powers save them all but only temporarily as Marnie feels betrayed and casts Sookie into a circle of flame.  Outside Eric sends Pam away “before he kills her” and Bill and him can feel Sookie’s fear but cannot cross the barrier.  Jesus is still in the bathroom being urged to fast forward his magic by Lafayette and he manages to somehow “Demon Out”, break the Antonia / Marnie bond which stops the fire around Sookie AND drops the force field.  Antonia is free and leaves Marnie to clean up her own mess!!

Eric and Bill storm in and prepare to kill everyone only to be told it was all Marnie … so they are about to settle for only her when Roy steps up and says they have to go through him!! Well that takes Eric all on about a second and a half as he pulls my favorite move of this season … a Russell and snatches Roy’s heart right out of his chest … holds it up in front of Roy … and then in one up from Russell …drinks from one of the valves like a juice box!!! LOVE IT!!!!  With Roy out the way Bill takes out Marnie in a very human fashion… he shoots her!!! Anyone else think Mr Ball is trying to give Bill some humanity in front of Sookie …. Ugh whatever … give me Eric and a vampy killing any day!!

So Ding Dong the witch is dead … the necromancy threat is over ….people have been glamoured and all is back to as normal as things ever get in Bon Temps …….Andy is telling Arlene about the fairy and she suggests the hospital ….. Jesus looks like he is suffering from a bit of PTSD as he really did care for Marnie …. Sookie, Eric and Bill are all exchanging longing looks but nothing is being said …. and Jason is finally admitting he has it bad for Jessica … even without her blood in him ……..

But wait ….. this isn’t the finale …. WTF….. There are 10 minutes left and in rushes Mr Ball with his little twist … Ghost Marnie appears and takes over Lafayette ….. now what about the 10 mins we have left??? NOTHING?? A CLIP FROM NEXT WEEKS FINALE!! WE ARE SHORT CHANGED AGAIN lol

Hmmmmmmmmmmm Well that was rather long and waffley so I apologize but for some reason there seemed to be a lot and yet nothing going on.  This week left me feeling a little lost and with a lot of unanswered questions .. my main one being …. WHAT ABOUT PAM AND THE SPELL!!!  What did YOU think??? For all that … Next week’s finale looks KILLER!!!!!!


Memorable Lines From Soul Of Fire


Lafayette – “Marnie just puked a bitch out”

Pam has her priorities right lol -“Can we blow up these wiccan dipshits already I have a mani-pedi at 4”

Pam – “The True Death To Save Bo Peep .. I don’t fucking think so!!”

Andy (Talking to himself) “Don’t go all lost-in-the-woods retarded”


(M V””V).


True Blood Season 4 Ep 8 – Spellbound SPOILER Note V””V

Blog Originally Posted in Vampire Loving Dorks August 2011 – Reposting as Season 5 2012


So here’s what you missed on last weeks True Blood – Antonia totally took over Marnie and became an insane crazy witch and promised revenge, Lafayette learned he was a medium and can now see the crazy slave woman possessing the creepy doll, Eric still has amnesia and is relying on Sookie for pretty much everything Oh and Tara and the witches decided they were going to cast a spell to make all the vampires walk into the sun but King Bill found out and ordered all vampires silver themselves into their coffins / beds which was great but he didn’t use enough silver on Jessica and so we ended with her throwing open the doors to a blazing white light to meet the true death …. and that’s what you missed on True Blood lol.

So this week starts right where we left off with Jessica heading into the sun and Jason appearing like an angel surrounded by beautiful white light to tackle her to the floor and save her.  Just as she is about to attack him the witches conveniently decide they have done enough and the witch spell ends allowing a very sexy Jessica/Jason moment while Bill screams Jessica’s name over and over ….. um Mr Ball did you forget that a maker can actually feel when a child of theirs meets the true death??? So surely he would have known she hadn’t gone??? Maybe its just another example of Bills weakass vampire powers.  Jason brings Jessica back to her cell past the dead guard bleeding out all over the floor and Bill convinces Jason to silver her back onto her bed only to do a much better job that he did so that she can’t escape again.  Jason obviously reluctant to hurt Jessica tells her to think of wonderful things like hot summer days and barbeques before realising they may not be the best things for her to think about considering.  Bill and Jason strike an agreement ….. he won’t say anything about Jess killing the guard if Bill overlooks the fact that Jason shot one of his guards to get in there (hmmmm not quite the same seeing as Jason only shot his in the shoulder but whatever).

Next we get an insight into the new werewolf pack and apparently for once the new Alpha realises how inferior shifters are compared to vamps and tells the whole pack (Debbie and Alcide included) to stay OUT of the whole vamp / witch war unless they want to die.  Debbie is obviously loving this new pack idea but you have to wonder how much of that is to do with the new packmaster.  Her little ears certainly prick up when she finds out that he is divorced!!! She makes Alcide promise he will stay out of the whole Witch /Vamp war and leave Sookie alone and he looks her straight in the eye and says he promises …. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm yes I don’t believe him either Debbie but you are a useless slut who already broke his heart and we all know you are just waiting to jump the new Alpha so no sympathy from me.  I am still wishing Sookie shot you with the shotgun last season when she had the chance lol

Sam is still trying to make amends for Tommy sleeping with Luna while wearing his Sam suit and as her daughter Emma seems to really like him (even though her cat Barbie hates him and everyone else apparently) she lets him in for dinner.  This all goes well until the were packmaster (who is also Emma’s father) decided to pop in for a visit.  Cue a whole lot of male posturing and the wolf trying to fake start at sam who to his credit just lifts an eyebrow as if to say WTF ….. I have to agree … WTF was the point of that :S  Dull Dull Dull

Talking of Dull while Maxine is taking pics of her pile of goo neighbour and filming tv interviews because as her neighbour kept to herself so was obviously either a vampire or a serial killer, Tommy sneaks in to steal a bunch of her clothes, make – up, and jewellery. No prizes for guessing that he plans on putting on a Maxine suit this week and going after the gas money from her land and that is exactly what he does.  this whole skinwalking thing is definitely amusing if not a little predictable and poor Tommy goes through all that trouble and only ends up with just over 5 grand as opposed to the 200 grand he was hoping for.  Well that’s what you get for cheating Tommy!!!!!  While Maxine takes her pics Andy is on the scene and there is a great exchange between him and Jason ….Oh No Andy – seriously you would eat a dead pile of Bula carter off the ground????? Andy – Jesus, tits and God America Jason what is happening to me.  LOVE IT!!!!

Back at Sookie’s house things are heating up as she removes the silver from Eric’s neck – taking half of Eric’s neck with it.  he then remembers that he hasn’t fed since “the fairy goddess” and claims True Blood won’t help and so Sookie willingly offers to let him feed from her.  Now things are getting all hot and heavy and the music is heating up and Eric bites his hand and has Sookie drink from him and all of us are thinking YES YES YES here we go!!!!! AT LAST!!!! … and we skip over to Hoyt and Jessica just to interrupt the mood but I won’t do that to you …. so back to Sookie who is sucking furiously on Eric’s hand and Eric is obviously loving every second of it and the music is racing and then we see them step into the shower and we are thinking HERE WE GO ….. and they kiss …. and Sookie runs her hand down Eric’s naked body …. and she turns the shower on … AND IT STARTS TO SNOW!!!!  Yes people … instead of a hot sexy shower scene we get snow and a magic shower curtain opening onto Narnia??? Who the hell knows …. but wait …. with Sookie high on V and Eric high on Fairy blood they spot a giant bed and we think all may not be lost ….. after all remember some of those sex scenes with Bill and Sookie frmo Season 1 …. they were pretty nasty …… so we give Alan Ball the benefit of the doubt … AND ONCE AGAIN WE GET MORE SCREWED THAN SOOKIE!!!!  We get tame PG 13 dull 5 seconds of lame, boring sex complete with sappy annoying pillow talk afterwards where “all things are possible” of they are together.  Forgive me while I go throw up!!!!!

Well I think that says it all about that scene ….. now back to one of my fav scenes from last night that the Sookie / Eric sex was interrupted for.  Jessica returns home to Hoyt who has been worried sick and claims to have had strange feelings about losing her forever.  Jessica acts distant but Hoyt is not reading the signs and says he can’t live without her.  Jessica insists that she just can’t do it …. she has a hunger and she doesn’t want to hurt him but it’s not enough and she needs more.  Hoyt cries and begs but Jessica is set against it and tries to leave and then in classic Alan Ball True Blood unexpectedness Hoyt says I will die without you and Jessica says THEN DIE .. and smashes his head with full vampire force into the nearest hard object and blood flies everywhere including all over her and I swear the whole audience just gasped (I know I did).  It was FANGTASTIC!!!! A Pure flash of genius from whoever wrote that scene.  And it doesn’t end there …… she walks out to find Jason in his truck is hot and ready for her and at this point you start to suspect this may be a dream … which of course it was … but it didn’t stop it being in my opinion the best scene of the night!!!

In another part of Town Lafayette walks into the kitchen at Merlottes and sees the slave ghost singing to Arlene and Terry’s baby again and he does the smartest thing ever and says Oh Hell no Fuck This Shit.. and walks away.  Sadly later in the show this doesn’t save him as slave ghost has realised what he is and after a history lesson (We see her alive bringing the creepy doll to her baby only to discover she had had a baby with her slave master and he couldn’t let the baby live and so killed it.  I am assuming that was the house that Hoyt and Jessica now live in which is why the doll is there) she decides she is going to possess Lafayette so now we have the Slave Ghost walking around in a Lafayette suit.  She / he immediately heads over to what turns out to be the Bellefleur mansion where Andy, Arlene and Terry are all sleeping and she steals Andy’s gun … and the baby.  Anyone else wondering if perhaps her old slave master was a Bellefleur  and this has nothing to do with Rene at all???  As my husband Greg said last night …. if there wasn’t so much talk about the damn shower scene maybe we would all be speculating on poor Lafayette and whats going on with him.  But as things stand this is taking a very backseat with all the other plotlines going on.  It’s another example of too many plots and not enough screen time this season.

So Jessica actually goes over and breaks up with Hoyt and far from the dream sequence version from earlier Hoyt actually has a total melt down and screams all sorts of horrible things about Jessica throwing at her that she will be a virgin forever and could never give him children and you can see how heartbroken he is and then he rescinds her invitation to their home and as she flies out the door he slams it in her face and smashes up the house.  Jessica runs over to Jason’s hoping for sympathy especially considering the kiss they shared earlier but she is out of luck.  For once Jason is thinking of his friend rather than thinking with his dick and as much as it pains him he too rescinds her invitation and she has to leave.  You can tell Jason hated to do it but he stuck by his friend.  shame really because much as I loved her and Hoyt I was really enjoying her with Jason and love that Jason’s answer to it all is to do some push ups.  Yes Jason that will make it all better.

Eric shows us once again that he is annoying with amnesia as he talks about running away rather than fighting so him and Sookie can be together forever.  Oh Eric where is your spine *Sigh*.  Hope you find it soon!!!  The cute factor has outplayed its welcome by a long way.  So Sookie talks him into joining Bill’s big fight with the witches that is due to happen at midnight in a graveyard because where else would it be???

Antonia and Bill face off both pretending to be alone …. Antonia calls Bill out for being a lier and Pam, Eric, and Sookie appear behind him …… Bill calls Antonia a liar and she waves her arms and her little band of witches including Tara appear behind her.  After some stupid discussion in which neither side believes anything the other is saying – Sookie peeks into Antonia’s head and screams SHE IS CASTING A SPELL!!!!!!!!!!  More vamps appear behind Bill complete with his armed human guards with their assault rifles and Antonia does more arm waving and more witches appear behind her complete with lots of fog to confuse everyone.  Eric does show a spark of his old self and punches right through one of the witches and rips her heart out and holds it up gleefully …. oh Eric maybe there is hope … Pam manages to pin Tara and as much as I hate to agree with my husband if she hadn’t insisted on the Pam insults and had just killed her she would have got away with it but sadly Bill comes up behind her and orders her not to ever hurt Tara now or in the future. As Pam says LAME!!!!  If only she had had another few seconds Tara would be no more *sigh*.

Lots of chaos and fighting pursues with random vamps getting staked and witches dying (no one of any consequence) and suddenly Sookie gets shot in the gut by someone unknown and we see her falling down by a gravestone …. this gets Eric’s attention for a second (as he is munching away on another witch) but then Antonia is in front of him and somehow uses magic to turn him into a puppy (Oh Eric we almost had a bit of the old you back …. Alan Ball what are you doing to him???? This is NOT KEWL!!!!!) ……Bill hears it too but it distracts him and allows 2 of the witches to grab and silver him …. and all this time Sookie is bleeding out by a grave.  You would have thought that Eric blood she ingested would have helped at least a little bit but apparently not …. but fear not … its Alcide to the rescue *Sigh … really …. a were … ugh could this episode get any worse* …. and he whisks her up into his arms and walks off with her through the fog and we see Debbie change from wolf to human and look devastated …. oooooooohhhhhhhh he’s not going to get away with that lol……

And the major cliffhanger this week … and the WHOLE Trailer for next week … Will Sookie survive??? Hmmmmmm not exactly a cliffhanger is it … let me think about this for about 2 seconds … I am going to go out on  a limb here and say Yes … I think she might just make it!!!!!!

Memorable Lines From Spellbound

Jason – “Oh No Andy – seriously you would eat a dead pile of Bula carter off the ground?????”

Andy – “Jesus, tits and God America Jason what is happening to me?”

Eric – “My Liege” …. Sookie – “My …….. Bill”

Pam – “You’ve got to fucking be kidding me ….. This is SO FUCKING LAME!!!! (Yes I hear you Pam … Bill is LAME!!!! Does he not remember tara threw him out into the sun???” *SIGH*

(M V””V).

True Blood Season 4 Ep 12 SEASON FINALE – And When I Die SPOILER Note V””V

Blog Originally Posted in Vampire Loving Dorks September 2011 – Reposting as Season 5 2012 Blogs will be here

So here we are ….. after what seemed like an eternity waiting for Season 4 to premiere and we are suddenly at the finale.  How did that happen so quickly??  Well it has and here is my finale spoiler note and here are my thoughts … and YES they are MY thoughts and not a non-bias review so feel free to disagree, bitch, complain, or agree … it all works for me 😀 lol  Alan Ball has teased us with tears, anguish, and a high body count … lets see what he delivered!!!

At the end of last week we saw the very annoyed ghost of Marnie possess Lafayette while he lay resting in his bed.  This week starts with Jesus giving a heartfelt speech about how he is sorry for dragging Lafayette into the magic during which Lafayette/Marnie sits totally impassively until Jesus kisses him/her goodbye and he realises his beloved Lafayette is possessed and being the smart cookie he is it only takes him one guess to realise who is in there.  Sadly for Jesus he reacts immediately and ends up with his hand pinned to the table by a dinner fork …. OUCH!!!

Sookie meanwhile is at her house with Tara making coffee and dealing with flashes of her Gran laying dead on the kitchen floor where she was murdered leading to the question is Gran in Heaven?  Tara admits that she is an atheist but says that if there is a Heaven she is pretty sure Adele Stackhouse would be like the president.. hmmm yes quite amusing Tara ……. but lost on Sookie as she broods on the fact that she “feels Gran is near.”

Out in the cemetery Sam and Maxine are saying goodbye to Tommy who as Maxine says was a devious little son of a bitch but she felt he had a good heart despite stealing her clothes including her underpants and her good church shoes …. hmmmmm ok yes that’s what you talk about at a graveside …. but anyway the main point of this is that Maxine is feeling sorry for Sam and tells him that she is now his Mama and she is going to bring round one of her famous pork-rind casseroles (ummm yuck) … as they are all the family they have left.   Did you forget your REAL son there Maxine??? Hoyt is still alive you know…… hmmmmmm I am guessing this is leading up to something for Season 5 ….. after all Tommy sold the rights to Maxine’s land … maybe she will need a place to stay and turn to Sam :S …. I don’t know ….. can’t quite decide what Alan Ball’s angle was on this one yet!

Staying in the great outdoors Jason has decided to go and confess all to Hoyt about Jessica (driving some truck … what happened to his truck??? Did I totally miss something here??? Not that it’s important but it bugged me so answers please if anyone has them lol)….. Anyway Jason confesses he had sex with Jessica and Hoyt asks how?  Now any one of us would realise that Hoyt wanted to know HOW IT HAPPENED … but not Jason … oh I love him …. he lists off all the positions they did and said nothing too kinky which, unsurprisingly earns him a punch in the nose!  Hoyt points out that these things don’t just happen and that Jason chose to betray him and proceeds to beat the living daylights out of him and tells him he has something inside him missing.  Poor Jason doesn’t even try to fight back and just lays there and says he is sorry.

Back at Lafayette’s house Jesus is duct taped to a chair, bleeding onto a table, as he tries to reach Lafayette inside the possession….. and for one second it looks like he is making progress as we see Lafayette fight back and call Marnie a bitch which once she takes control back she is not amused with and threatens to “cut out his eyeball and feed it to him” ….. lovely…. yes that woman/ghost has totally lost the plot here ……and what does she want?  She wants Jesus’s Brujo magic … ALL OF IT … oh you know that’s not going to end well. Marnie goes off on a rant about how Jesus betrayed her and how the celebration of Samhein has become Halloween with fat kids stuffing their faces. Jesus tries to reason that what is inside him is seriously dark …. but sadly that serves Marnie well as she plans to fight Darkness with Darkness .. and then Marnie starts cutting Lafayette up and that’s all it takes to convince Jesus to do it.  He starts chanting and calling forth the creepy demon head that appears when he summons that darkness  but sadly to transfer it requires a great big knife in his chest.  Bye Jesus 😦 … Body count 1. .

Sookie takes a trip to Merlotte’s where Halloween is in full swing and Arlene is sporting a great zombie outfit as “Zombies are the new vampires’ … yes I have heard this before and ummm NOT A CHANCE IN HELL!!!! And Mr Ball DO NOT EVEN THINK about introducing zombies next season!!! It was bad enough with the necromancy and vamp bots ala Anita Blake THIS SEASON…. Anyway where was I … Oh yes Sookie goes to see Sam who doesn’t remember firing her (because of course it was Tommy in the Sam Suit that did the firing) and he blames Sookie for not turning up all week.  They decide to let everything go back to normal (YAWN) as long as Sookie can start work immediately…. in a bunny ear costume. Out in the bar we get to see Arlene’s kids in costume.  Coby is quite obviously some kind of alien / zombie and my first thought was that Lisa was a very pregnant Arlene … but turns out she was in fact a character from the MTV reality show Teen Mom’s 2 … yes well nobody ever claimed Arlene’s parenting skills were the best ……. Sam brings in little Emma to meet them and Arlene asks what she is and gets the honest truth …. a shapeshifter like my mommy or a werewolf like my daddy … but he’s dead.  Not much you can say to that so Arlene very wisely just leaves.

This is not the end of the Merlottes drama as an old “friend” of Terry’s from the War drops by.  At first I wasn’t sure he was actually there but turns out he is not in fact a ghost and Arlene gets to meet him and Terry looks more nervous than pleased to see him … hmmmmm wonder where that’s going.  Alcide is also at the bar trying to apologise to Sookie but ends up with more of a lecture about how people don’t really change they just find new ways to lie. He wants Sookie to change who she loves too but is interrupted by a strange phone call ….. hmmmm pack business??? nope no clues at this point … OK Alan Ball you got me with that one .. I don’t know where he is going ….

As evening falls Tara finds Jesus’s body and does her screaming thing before rushing off to find Sookie who is talking with Holly in full fairy dress up (because there ain’t nothing scary about fairies … Oh Holly … how little you really know)  and the “Bad feelings” that they are both having. Tara manages to convince them that Lafayette is possessed by Marnie and Eric and Bill are missing but luckily for them Holly has her wiccan first aid kit … Salt, Sage, and a lock of her aunt’s hair… so off they rush to the cemetery where Bill and Eric are chained to a funeral pyre with silver just waiting to burn.  This allows from some very amusing dialogue between Eric and Bill and as usual the bad guy (Marnie) has to explain her whole plot before starting the fire which gives time for Holly to set her Salt Circle.  With a quick Alien blast from Sookie Lafayette/Marnie is forced out of the circle and the intrepid 3 start chanting and calling forth all the ghosts from the graveyard including Antonia (who would not be in the graveyard IMO as she wasn’t buried there but whatever … Antonia puts the fire out so we will let her have that.  Antonia cannot however convince Marnie to hand over Lafayette’s body but Gran … yes GRAN sticks her ghostly hand in and yanks the bitch out and Marnie is still complaining because she feels she finally has power and doesn’t want to go. Antonia convinces her that they have won and it is time to move on .. So after much screaming and a few comforting words from Gran Marnie is ready to depart….but Gran finds time for a few lovely words with Sookie and then she is gone.  Sookie is reminded that there is still a whole lot of stuff going on with Tara cradling Lafayette begging him to be OK but it is Eric that amuses me with his comment ….”Excuse me … we are feeling a little crispy up here” lol … Love it Eric!!!

Unfortunately for Arlene all the ghosts raised at the cemetary don’t seem to have heard that they are meant to have gone back and she gets a surprise visit from Rene.  Has anyone else missed that accent *Sigh* ….. he was rather a lovely addition to the show so was great to see him back even in his ghostly form. Although does it strike anyone else as just a touch strange that he HAS his FAKE accent in death??? lol …. Anyway…. He tells Arlene that he still loves her but she is in danger as Terry’s ghosts are coming back to get him…. and then he is gone …..I am guessing we will learn more about that in season 5….Cliffhanger 1???

Skip from there to little red riding hood running through the forest ….. to Jason’s house who is bitching that he is not giving any candy to Trick or Treaters as he opens the door to find his biggest treat yet.  A very sexy looking Jessica that results in some very hot Jason / Jessica sex … about time we had some decent sex this season!!!  (side note … nice to see the whole eternal virgin thing isn’t bothering her anymore …. maybe she realised a little pain and pleasure is not a bad thing lol) Of course after they have the talk about how Jessica doesn’t want anything serious and how she is going out to feed but Jason seems kewl with it and proceeds to compare it to Pretty Woman … you know like a hooker without the kissing.  Oh Jason you are so dumb but you do amuse me no end and we are getting to see you naked again … always a bonus even though you are not really my type lol .

Over at Fangtasia Pam is having a mini meltdown after being sent away by Eric.  Still no news on what they are going to do about the curse … it’s looking more and more like we are just to assume that it is all fixed now (ANNOYING MR BALL!!!!…. I would even have accepted a “when Marnie died her spells died with her” cop-out but he didn’t even throw us that Grrrrrrrrr) …….. So Pam trashes the office and ends up getting comforted by Ginger (Who I must confess I thought may have been about to add to the body count but no …..)  Mr Ball you need to FIX this!!! Pam and Eric on the outs just does not work for me!

So from the trashing of Fangtastia to Eric and Bill feeding from Sookie’s wrists (one on each side).. Awwww how sweet *rolls eyes* and then we get Stupid Sookie raising her head again.  Suddenly she can’t stand it… she feels like she is being ripped in half (nice biblical analogy which Bill jumps on and says he only wants her to be happy … she can choose Eric if that will make her happy) … oh shut up Bill … we know you don’t mean that …. sneaky though … you get props for that! And so it is Eric’s turn …. Sookie turns expecting the same kind of offer from him but nope he goes with the See Bill says its OK come be with me defense *rolls eyes* …. oh Eric NOOOOOO…. we all know whats going to happen now …. Stupid Sookie is going to leave BOTH OF THEM!!! Oh get over yourself already!!!!!  So she leaves … and stands outside the door sobbing her poor broken little heart out … WHATEVER!!!!

Over at Lafayette’s he is broken-hearted over his killing poor Jesus but ghosts Jesus comes back to tell him that it’s all OK and that everything is temporary … hmmmmmm I am guessing that is going to mean something.  It’s very touching as Jesus says all he needs to do is just keep breathing and that he will never be far away.  Poor Lala 😦  He just doesn’t get it good for long does he…

And now … the last 15 minutes of the episode where EVERYTHING happens leaving so many questions for us to wait a YEAR to be answered …….

Whilst Lala is mourning Sam is mooning of Luna and things all seem very hunky dory there despite Sam being the cause of Emma’s dad dying … well yes technically Alcide killed him but we all know Sam started it lol ….. but they are at the not sleeping over stage so as Sam goes to leave, once Luna goes inside what should appear from the bushes … but a werewolf…. This has to be some kind of revenge attack from Marcus’s pack (see they blame Sam too lol) …. but thus leaves another cliffhanger .. I think that makes 2 lol….

Flashback to Jason’s house as Jessica leaves for the night leaving a very smiley Jason on the couch there is suddenly a knock at the door.  Jason believing himself to be irresistible thinking Jessica has come back but he opens the door to find …. STEVE NEWLIN …. WITH FANGS!!!! … What is going on here??? Cliffhanger 3!

Over in Shreveport we finally find out what Alcide’s mysterious phone call was about earlier …. it was from one of his contractors at a parking garage and he has obviously been glamoured as there is a BIG HOLE in the concrete floor … complete with broken silver chains and RUSSELL’S MUSIC … Oh Russell we have MISSED YOU!!!….. of course the big question as asked by the contractor is who would dig the hole suggesting that Russell did not in fact free himself.  Hmmmmmm I have a couple of theories both of which have massive holes in but I will share them anyway and I am sure I will be putting a lot more thought into this … Theory 1 …. Nan has gone mental ( As is shown in a minute and may think Russell is her best chance … flaw….. how did Nan know where he was?? Although Nan often seems to just “know things”) … Theory 2 … Pam went and dug him up hoping to deal with the whole Sookie thing (Flaw … It would seriously endanger Eric so not convinced about that either) … Ok Anyone else got any ideas??  Anyway whatever the reason that leaves us with cliffhanger 4 ……

Talking of Nan she is paying a visit to Bill and Eric complete with her “Gay Storm Troopers” (thanks Eric lol). So Nan comes to tell them that she has quit the authority and the AVL … well actually she got fired but according to her it’s the same difference.  Her last duty was supposed to be delivering the true death to Bill and Eric but she realises that she is next so instead she wants Eric and Bill to join her and he talks are going well until she announces that they all know about Sookie and then calls them puppy dogs …. and that’s all it takes for Eric to rip the heads off the 3 gay Storm Troopers and Bill to be able to use the element of surprise and Stake Nan ….. Death count add 4 lol … possible Cliffhanger 5 ….. what are Bill and Eric going to do now with execution warrants out for them ?????

And that brings us to the final scene of the night. Sookie coming home  and obviously something is wrong although she just keeps calling out for Tara .. .and she gets to see Debbie at the end of a shotgun….but before Debbie can shoot Sookie Tara dives and pushes her out the way and takes a shotgun blast right to the head.  Now forgive me for being a bitch here Sookie but this is YOUR FAULT!!! If you had stayed with Eric and bought him home with you he would have either A taken the shot for you or B disabled Debbie before she could shoot and Tara would not be involved!!!.  So poor Tara is on the floor brains literally spilling onto it (Sookie’s kitchen is not in general a good place to be!!) and Sookie rushes Debbie, get the shotgun and after only the briefest moment of hesitation blows Debbie’s brains out (Add 1 or 2 to the dead count depending on thoughts on Tara). So Debbie is dead, and Sookie is left cradling what’s left of Tara’s head screaming for help. Cliffhanger 6 …. is Tara really dead ….

Now Bill and Eric have both just ingested a large amount of Sookie’s blood so they should already be on their way over right having sensed her fear??? But I think the damage is too much even for a vampire to heal … literally her brains were on the floor …….. and ROLL CREDITS!!!

So to sum up … the main cliffhangers seems to be ……. Terry’s past coming back to haunt him ….Sam is about to face off with a werewolf … supposedly from Marcus’s pack???  Better shift Sam .. a LION would be good right about now lol……  Reverend Vampire and what he is up to with Jason ……. Who Dug Up Russell and what are his plans (Totally my favorite!!) ….. What will Bill and Eric Do now that they have rebelled against everything …..(siding with Russell sounds good to me lol) ……and finally is Tara actually dead???  She should be … shotgun to the head … brains all over the floor ….. but this is Alan Ball we are talking about and more than once he has been known to change the rules … who knows if Sookie discovers some magical healing fairy ability… or finds she has the ability to make one wish *rolls eyes* …. Yes I don’t like it either but this is Alan Ball remember…..


And so our wait for Season 5 begins …….. Season 4 was an interesting ride and I will certainly miss is on Sunday nights …… even when some episodes it seemed like all I wanted to do was complain lol.


Memorable Lines From And When I Die


Tara – “What are we like magnets for fucking craziness or something?”

Jesus – “You can’t trade Magic like fucking Pokemon cards”

Arlene – “Zombies are the new vampires” .. (hey I got told this at Spencers a few months ago ……unamused)

Alcide – “People don’t change … they just find new ways to lie”

Eric – “Excuse me … we are feeling a little crispy up here”

Pam – “I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name”

Eric – “Hi Nan …. and Gay Storm Troopers”


(M V””V).



True Blood Season 4 Ep 10 – Burning Down The House SPOILER Note V””V

Blog Originally Posted in Vampire Loving Dorks August 2011 – Reposting as Season 5 2012 Blogs will be here

RUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN Sookie screamed as all hell broke loose at the end of last weeks episode and that’s right where this week picks up with Antonia/Marnie ordering her vamp-bots to KILL THE KING!!!!  Eric tries to rip Bill’s head off but Sookie distracts him by jumping on his back and in the time it takes Eric to throw her off Bill produces a gun with what I assume is silver bullets ….. I can only assume he planned on shooting the witches because Tara’s wooden bullet gun would have been more useful.  Bill shoots Eric (Much to Sookie’s dismay), and then 2 of the other vamp-bots.  Nan grants the true death to another vamp-bot with … A PENCIL!!! LMAO …. Sorry but that amused the hell out of me….. Sookie tries to reason with Eric but to no avail and with Bill being no match for Eric’s strength it looks like Bill is about to meet the true death at the end of a flagpole ….. but Sookie ZAPS him!!! Is it me or is she getting rather good at this zapping stuff????  Anyway her zapping Eric is like a power surge breaking the spell and flooding back all his memories …INCLUDING THE TIME THEY WERE TOGETHER 😀 … Oh this should be good!!!!  On the bad side Nan now knows that Sookie has powers, Antonia it appears is feeling guilty … and Nan goes into “Image mode” and lets all the injured humans know that help is on the way and she herself is a caring, certified helper … hmmmmmmmm yes OK Nan… you are a real girl scout!!

While chaos is being dealt with over at the tolerance rally Jason and Jessica are busy having a heart to heart in the back of Jason’s truck and Jason is racked with major guilt … to the extreme that he wants Jessica to glamour the memory out of him.  Hmmmm Jason I am not surprised Jessica leaves to go find someone to eat!

It’s drama all over as Alcide is rushing Tommy to the emergency room where apparently duct tape has become one of the treatment options lmao…. and I thought our local hospitals were bad!!!  Tommy on the other hand knows that something has gone seriously wrong between the skin-walking and the beating and it is not looking good.  “Shifter to Werewolf” he says he is dying and just wants to go back to Merlottes to pass there.  Alcide is not convinced until Tommy is hit by some weird bone cracking convulsions that have him puking lcopious amounts of blood all over the windscreen… and then its straight to Merlottes.

Over at the Moon Goddess headquarters the imprisoned witches are torn between the idiots playing with their cellphones “Magic is not stronger than technology” (Well obviously as non of your phones are working IT IS lol) … and then you have Holly who is convinced she along with Tara can undo the spell with their rage.   Antonia /Marnie return and all is not well in Marnie’s body…. bit more on that later.

Back at Vampire Headquarters (Also known as Vampire Bill’s Mansion) … Nan is not happy that Bill has been keeping the “little milkmaid’s lightening trick” a secret.  She has sent “Glamour squads” out all over Shreveport to wipe memories of what happened tonight but Bill has had enough and is finally going to take charge.  Oh he does have a backbone it appears as he finally stands up to Nan and tells her that they are going to take down the necromancer no matter what and she has no say in the matter.  Nan really doesn’t put up much of a fight because I think deep down she is all for the killing really lol.  Eric and Sookie are in the other room having a heart to heart because Eric remember’s everything but Sookie is now not sure as she says she loves both him and Bill.   Eric claims that she is his but Sookie says she never agreed to that .. hmmmmmmmmmm under my understanding of vampire law Sookie you slept with him … let him bite you … and willingly drank his blood … yes that pretty much means you agreed to be his and you have been in this world long enough to know that so stop claiming ignorance!!! Really .. what does everyone see in her *rolls eyes*  Eric on the other hand has no such problems and says he loves her.  Pam bursts in full of concern for Eric and is thrilled until she finds out that Sookie was responsible for breaking the curse and then just grudgingly thanks her.  There is a beautiful tender moment between Pam and Eric which vanishes as soon as Eric leaves the room and Pam is back to her snarkish self.  Bill announces they are going to war and they plan on blowing up Moon Goddess complete with Tara in it (which does not amuse Sookie) the next night and the plan is for Eric, Bill, Pam, and Jessica to go take care of it … hmmmmmmm lets see how well that works out!

Over at Merlotte’s Alcide has arrived with Tommy and Sam is there to greet them and his first thought is to get him some V but Alcide stops him explaining that Tommy has chosen.  Cue a very sweet scene I guess with them all talking about what happens when you die until Tommy says he doesn’t believe that shit he says he just wants to disappear but not be forgotten.  If you are a shifter fan then this is probably a tear-jerker of a scene …. it was well written and fairly moving but for a girl who cries at everything there were no tears for the loss of the shifter even as sad as Sam was.

Daytime strikes and Hoyt has come to visit Jason and ask to stay for a while.  He is not coping without Jessica there and is alternating between anger and tears and poor Jason just doesn’t know how to deal with this at all so he waits until Hoyt gets totally drunk and heads over to Sookie’s house to escape and asks he if can stay there for the night lol.  Sookie agrees but wants his help first as she goes off on a crazy rescue mission to the Moon Goddess headquarters.

Over  at the Bellefleur mansion Terry has found Andy’s stash of V and is planning on sorting it all out once and for all over at the Bellefleur fort.  Yes you read that right … the Bellefleur Fort which is a tree house / camp that they made when they were kids and apparently Terry lived there for a bit after the war. After much fighting and arguing and a very bad shooting contest Andy eventually realises that Terry is only trying to help him and agrees that he has messed up and is going to straighten up.  Terry is thrilled and says he is going to start right now … and leaves him to walk home.  Not sure how far it is but from Andy’s face it is not a short walk.

Back to the crazy rescue mission and Jason and Sookie have gone to pick up reinforcements in the guise of Lafayette and Jesus. Lafayette is not amused by any of this but after much grumbling in typical Lafayette styling they all agree to go.

At the Moon Goddess headquarters Holly and Tara are still trying to work on their spell to break down the defenses and you would think that Antonia/Marnie would notice but it appears she has her own problems.  In the back room to spirit leaves and we expect to find that Marnie has finally forced her out after last night’s blood shed but this is not the case.  Quite the opposite in fact … Marnie is loving the power and it is Antonia who is now not convinced that this violence is the way to go.  Well that is going to put a whole big dent in Jesus’s plan that Marnie is being used without her consent.  Marnie eventually convinces Antonia back into her body so that they can continue so it looks like Marnie is on a major power trip after years of being judged and picked upon for her beliefs she has finally got control and she is LOVING it!!!

Daytime over in vamp headquarters shows all our favorite vamps (and Bill) chained with silver and Nan is silvered down and handing out the true death to everyone …. True Death for Bill, True Death for Eric and True Death for Pam too …. yes not very threatening when she is all chained down.  Even Jessica is bored by it all and just wants to KILL something.  Nice to see Pam back to her snarky self although the spell should still be in effect but no one is mentioning it ….. Dr Ludwig’s fix was purely cosmetic … did Mr Ball forget that??? And what about the fact that she needed 6 injections a day???? Her supply is certainly not at Bill’s house but she is looking as sexy as ever … hmmmmmm sorry its bugging me … but back to the story ………

Jesus, Sookie, Jason and Lafayette are trying to get Jesus into Moon Goddess but Antonia as a very strong Stay Away spell in effect ….. think  invisible electric fence.  Antonia says that if Jesus can force his way through he can come in and calling on some demon power he manages to do it (Lafayette explains the demon head to Jason as a Latin thing lol).  So Jesus goes in and the other 3 stay hiding behind a car.

Over in Shreveport Marcus is trying to find Alcide and pays a visit to Debbie Slut .. I mean Pelt and it is pretty obvious that those 2 are about to jump into bed.  Damn animals!! They just need to learn to behave.  Shock collars anyone????  So Alcide is with Sam looking for Marcus at his garage and they are beating on anyone they find there (which is just one, not very intimidating wolf from the night before) and Marcus is at Alcide’s house making moves on Debbie … hmmmmmmmmm maybe some more were blood will be spilt soon 😀 … we can but hope.

Back at Moon Goddess Jesus is inside and has discovered that Antonia seems to be in control and that no one is going to be leaving … not even for a little while so he asks if he can speak to Marnie.  Antonia surprisingly agrees and Jesus is shocked to find that Marnie is actually happy with what is going on and is not under a forced possession as he had thought.  While all this is going on Jesus lets Sookie know that outside things have changed and Marnie is actually in control … at the same time Tara and Holly manage to get their spell to work and make a break for it and Marnie/Antonia along with Jesus running after them …. Sookie, Jason, and Lafayette come racing to meet them and Marnie/Antonia causes a huge flash of light and they all vanish except poor Jason who is left standing all alone outside wondering what the hell is going on. 

Night Falls and Eric, Bill, Pam and Jessica are all kitted out heading in a van for Moon Goddess.  They exit the van like a vampire hit squad all dressed in black and looking (apart from Bill) FANGTASTIC!!! Armed with what looks like a rocket launcher and they all walk in slow motion towards Moon Goddess and … AND THAT’S WHERE IT ENDS!!!!!!!!!  GRRRRR ALAN BALL!!! SUDDENLY YOU REMEMBER HOW TO DO A DECENT CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!

Overall I really enjoyed this episode .. its sad that it has taken this far through for things to be really taking off and now we only have 2 episodes left.  I still have a few questions like could they not find ANY other vamps to go help them????  Why did the combination of the skinwalking and the beating take such a toll on Tommy …… Alan Ball has been talking of major character deaths for the finale … is he counting Tommy as one???  Not many really stand out lines this week but a great script and I think possibly my fav so far apart from Eric and the crocodiles .. that was just so much fun but its good to have the REAL Eric back!

Memorable Lines From Burning Down The House

Jessica – “Fucking Humans!!! I’m gonna go find somebody to eat”

Alcide – “Few stitches, a little duct tap, a pretty nurse and you will be good to go”

Jason – Hoyt drank 11 of my beers, passed out and started farting ….. continuously!!!”

(M V””V).