*Sigh* No True Blood Sunday And Already Bad News About Season 6 V””V

So it hasn’t even been a week and already I am lamenting the lack of True Blood Sunday and decided to go hunting on the net to see if anyone else has come up with some different theories regarding the finale etc …… And what did I find?  Nothing Good!! In fact there is an interview with Alan Ball (Click Here To Read It All) informing us that Season 6 will only have 10 episodes. 10 EPISODES!!! As if the 12 that we currently have isn’t a short enough season now we are getting it cut by 2.  Alan states that accommodating Anna by starting filming in January with the birth of her children due in November, and economics are to blame.  It has to beg the question has this recent season of True Blood lost some of its fan base and so they feel the money is not there?

It has seemed to me that whilst people have complained there is more spin-off merchandise than ever and I certainly see plenty of buzz about it everywhere.  The Cliffhanger end definitely seemed to turn around even many of the fans that felt that this season was a little lack lusterThe demise of Russell at Eric’s hand completing that circle and the reincarnation of Billith has left us with numerous questions as to where the writers can possibly plan on taking us next not to mention the mysterious Warlow and our new knowledge that at least some of the older vamps have knowledge of him.

And much as I would like to ignore them we can’t forget that Luna changed on National TV so will this be the time for the shifters to be outed? That would be an actual throw back to the books after a season where there was pretty much no correlation at all (Although I did find it amusing that they changed the book cover to Book 5 to reflect the tv show *Rolls eyes*)  Of course at this point whether or not she even survives is still a question to be answered, one that Alan Ball was not going to address.  He was, however, happy to let us know that Steve Newlin will definitely be around and that makes me happy. He was a huge source of amusement this season.

So Vampire religion gone nuts, the possible outing of the shifters, and the mysterious contract that ties Sookie to Warlow all seem to be the main focus leading towards season 6.  Then for sub stories we have Andy and his 4 fae babies and of course Jason and his parental hallucinations causing him to go all vampire slayer. Not sure where Lafayette is going to fit in with all of this but let’s hope he keeps the pizzazz that he now seems to have back.  Eric is finally getting to be the hero to Bill’s more villainous tendencies and Sookie is the damsel needing to be saved yet again.

The only thing that I know for sure is next year can’t come fast enough for me!! 10 Episodes or not Waiting Sucks and this fangover is the worst and it hasn’t even been a week!

Roll On Summer 2013 …….

V””V

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True Blood Season 5 Ep 12 Save Yourself (Finale) Synopsis / Review V””V

So Fellow Trubies here we are at the Season 5 Finale.  How can 12 weeks have gone by so quickly!!! I will be the first to admit this season has had its ups and downs but I have to say Alan Ball certainly did us proud with his final writing instalment before he leaves the show. For the first time since the premiere there was yelling at the TV and finally a feeling that maybe this insanity WAS in fact leading to a plan.  Oh yes normal disclaimer blah blah blah  my spoiler reviews are long and detailed and this one may be even worse than normal due to total over excitement!  My favorite memorable lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), New for the finale …. Body / Goo Splatter count … and  new for this year HBO Go added online extras time stamps for each of them : Listed after the body count).

Hang on people because here we go! At the end of last week Russell was about to embark of destroying a HUGE buffet of fairy goodness having eaten the elder and now apparently being not able only to see the fairy club but also immune to all the light they are throwing at him.  Just when it looks like it might be curtains for all the little fae folk Eric appears from nowhere and whisks Russell away with a stake (piece of twig)  to the heart and Russell crumbles away in an explosion of all the light he has ingested and becomes goo splatter number one in what promises to be a very goo filled finale.  Awwwww Goodbye Russell … I for one will miss your insanity and the killing sprees which you love so much.  Hopefully you and Talbot can now be together again. Kudos to Eric though for finally getting the revenge he has been searching for for a Millenia even if you did save the fairies in the process.  I guess that was necessary *sigh*. So not even to the intro credits and already the body count has started!

With Russell goo and Steve running off into the woods, Sookie decides to come out to check on Jason who is still lying motionless by the tree he hit.  Nora appears and she can smell Sookie the fairy and she wants to eat her.  Part of me was just willing her to DO IT Mwahahaha but Eric steps in and despite Nora being very reluctant he makes her swear on Godric that she won’t eat her.  Hilarious!  Jason comes too and has obviously had quite a blow to his head because he sees Sookie as his mom … hmmmm that can’t be good.  Someone should check him for a concussion!

Over at the vamp headquarters Bill is still being tortured by the voice of Lilith telling him to drink but he is not yet convinced.  At the end of last week we saw him call for his breakfast and they were bringing Sam to him and that is where we pick things up.  When Sam appears he starts by berating his useless guards for not being able to tell the difference between a human and a shifter smell.  Hmmm maybe that explains why no one recognised that Sam and Luna were there after all.  We are used to competent vampires!  When Sam realises that there is no reasoning with Bill he turns into a fly and escapes providing much amusement for me as Bill jumps all over the place trying to catch him … and failing miserably.  He then decides a better course of action is to yell and scream at his useless guards for allowing the breach to happen, while Salome watches on,  and order that they scour the whole place for flies, mice, rats, fleas, in fact anything that moves and then kill it.  If that fails to turn back into a person then keep hunting! As the guards are dismissed we think he is going to tell Salome that Bill believes he is the chosen one but it seems we have underestimated Bill.  Instead he tells Salome that Lilith appeared to him and told him that Lilith appeared to him and told him that SHE was the chosen one and that he was to serve her loyally.  Hmmm Bill what are you up to??

Down in the cells (Vampire Pantry?) Sam reappears in fly form and transforms just long enough to tell Luna that Bill has lost his mind and that he is casing the place for a way out.  he tells Luna to just stay put but to shift and escape if the guards come for her and that Emma will obviously be safe as she is Steve’s pet.

Further along (perhaps in another sector) we see Pam and Jessica who have been placed in adjoining cells so are able to have some nice little girl talk.  Jessica tries to convince Pam that Eric has become caught up in the whole cult thing but Pam is not convinced. Bill she believes would join in a heartbeat as he is always looking for something to feel guilty about but Eric has always made fun of religion. Pam points out that she has seen this over and over but it is normally the humans doing it.  When Jessica points out that it has Bill so messed up he wasn’t even going to try to save Sookie because the book says she is an abomination Pam amusingly says that maybe there is something to this religion after all!!  Pam has consistently been hilarious through this whole season and this continues through the finale.  LOVE HER!

Eric and Nora, in the meantime, bickering like children, have headed to Fangtasia where Tara tells Eric that The Authority has Pam.  We get to see that Eric has been stashing money away for a looooooooooong time! I for one would DEFINITELY like access to that wall!! Nora is not happy about the plan to go and save Pam, who as she points out is just a former prostitute …. hmmmm watch it Nora …. I like you but things could definitely change! Even worse for Nora she finds out that Tara is family too so she has to, according to Eric, be nice to her! Oh much as Tara annoys me the look on her face at the moment was awesome!

Jason and Sookie have retreated to Sookie’s house where Sookie finally makes the sensible suggestion of taking Jason to the Emergency room to get checked out which seeing as Jason is not only seeing, but having conversations with his dead parents, may be a rather good idea.  Before any decisions are made though Eric, Nora and Tara come rushing in, which reminds Sookie that Eric never gave her the deed to her house back. Eric promises to do it tomorrow, if the survive the night.  Well that doesn;t sound too ominous now does it!  Eric needs Sookie to come and help rescue Bill and Jessica oh and Pam who Tara keeps pointing out that Sookie owes. Eric and Jason get into trading insults (Jason runs out first) and Nora is still obsessing over how Sookie smells and really not being much help at all.  Sookie eventually agrees despite Jason’s protests but “ghost daddy” Stackhouse (sorry couldn’t resist) tells Jason he could kill a lot of vamps in there so he says he is going too.  Eric tells him not t be a fool to which we get one of the classic Jason lines of the season … “If I want to be a fool then I will be a fool …. That is my god given right as an American!”

Daytime hits and we head over to Jackson to see watch Alcide and his dad have a little bonding time after their babyvamp killing the night before.  To be honest it all seems pretty pointless and getting us no closer to the obvious conclusion of Alcide trying to become Packmaster in Shreveport again but then Martha pulls up with Rikki thrown in the back seat and Rikki is not in good shape at all.  Apparently JD has been force feeding them all lots of V and Rikki is having a pretty bad reaction to it.  She can’t decide if she wants to fight or have crazy animal sex with Alcide but it is pretty clear that neither of those things are going to happen.  Luckily for everyone it seems that Alcide’s dad has this special stuff that will get the V out of her system mainly through her skin so she ends up looking like she is covered in blood (almost like a Lilith reject) and suffering from the worst hangover ever.  As Alcide learns all the things that JD has been up to (on top of the V feeding he has been forcing some of the younger wolves to have sex) he comes to the realization that he HAS to do something but he doesn’t know what.  Luckily it is daddy to the rescue with some special “High Quality” (I am assuming some very old vamp) V that he keeps in the fridge for just such occasions.  Alcide amazingly actually agrees that this is then only way to win. Hmmmm if he had just done that in the first place this whole storyline could have been skipped and left more time for the vamp goodness!

Jason and Sookie are taking advantage of the daylight to stock up at the now closed Stake Shop complete with their cargo of 3 vampires in their ultralight travel coffins thrown in the back of Jason’s truck with just a big tarp over them  Jason lets Sookie know that he is all about killing vampires at the moment.  ALL Vampires and that once they get into the Authority if it has fangs it is fair game.  Sookie doesn’t like this new Jason and tries to talk him out of it but with Ghost Mommy and Ghost Daddy filling his ears with how great he is doing Jason seems, at least for now, to be heading towards a kill all vampires crusade.  Not good! Let’s hope that he starts to see reason before they all have to work together.

Over at Merlottes Holly, Arlene, and Lafayette are taking advantage of the lack of customers (except of course Jane Bodehouse who seems to think she might have slept with Andy at some point in the woods …. well ok then lol) and are partying with some rather amazing drinks that Lafayette has made and a change in music rather than as LaLa loving calls it “Sam Merlotte’s Redneck Taste In Music”.  I have to say it has been GREAT to see Lafayette back with his pizzazz this season.  This is the LaLa we all fell in love with back in Season one and he has been a LONG time coming back to us!!  To ruin a perfectly good party though Andy comes in with his pregnant fairy Morella who apparently needs to just drink tons and tons of salt.  Very strange!  As Andy settles Morella with her salt he goes to try and explain things to Holly who can tell that things aren’t good.  After his confession, before poor Holly can even say what she thinks about it all Morella stands and announces, complete with glowing vagina, that her light broke!  As night falls, with poor Holly acting as midwife and Andy, Lafayette, Arelene and Jane watching on Morella proceeds to go into labor and let me tell you, fae labor looks a lot more fun than regular old human labor.  Morella was convulsing on the table with what can only be called “Laborgasms” rather than labor pains and a scream hitting notes high enough to break glass …. literally! We learn that Fae babies are born with no umbilical cords and apparently in multiples.  Andy ends up with 4 beautiful little girls and when Morella is done she gets up and goes to leave letting Andy know that the light pact has been fulfilled and now it is his job to make sure at least half survive to adulthood!! Oh Andy, what HAVE you gotten yourself into!!

Back at the Vampire Headquarters we get to see Bill and Salome in bed …. now I know I was asking for some more sex this season but UGH not them!!  Their sex looks so dull and uninteresting.  You would think after a couple thousand years that at least Salome would have a couple of tricks to show off.  *Sigh*.  Could they not have thrown in some Eric / Nora action instead?? Would that have been too much to ask?  Anyway while they are occupied as Rosalyn says “buttering each others biscuits ” Jason, Sookie, Eric, Nora and Tara are heading straight for them.  Eric is amusing as he appears in the car window, having woken up, hanging upside down and asks Jason to Pull Over .. Pleeeeaaaseeeee.  Too Funny!!

It all starts to get crazy now.  Sam has a plan to get Emma out which involves Luna skinwalking as Steve Newlin and then coming in to get Emma out to go for a walk.  All is going well and they free Emma (Sam hiding in fly form) but in the main entrance they run into Chelsea who is confused by Steve’s sudden loss of his Southern Accent.  Despite Luna/Steve trying to cover they are luckily saved by a very annoyed Rosalyn who can’t find any of the other chancellors and who is desperately trying to save the public relations nightmare going on.  I am not sure why exactly at this point they care what the humans think but apparently that is her job and she is sticking to it.  Complete with Steve(Luna) going up to do a TV appearance.  Poor Luna/Steve is freaking out a little and definitely does not look like the calm, I can sell anything, Steve Newlin that Rosalyn needs right now but as they are about to go live there doesn’t seem to be another option.

She may have wished that she had looked for one though as almost as soon as Luna/Steve starts talking she/he starts vomiting blood and shifts back into Luna! Right on live TV!  Will this be the opening for next season for the shifters to come out? Luna quickly tells the world that vampires have an underground headquarters in New Orleans and they are keeping humans as prisoners for food before Rosalyn kicks over all the equipment.  Rosalyn is FURIOUS and fangs out heads for Luna but Sam in fly mode flies into her mouth … and you guessed it … shifts in her throat causing her to explode and become the finale’s second pile of goo. So far that is 2 vampires down and you know this is just the start.  After a quick smile at Sam in relief Luna collapses. We all know bu now that skinwalking takes a toll but we don’t see anything else tonight so whether she will survive this latest escapade will have to wait until next season.  In my body count list I gave her a big question mark.

Quick time out here from all the vamp action to go to Shreveport where JD has captured a vamp and is about to feed the pack some more V when a very amped up Alcide comes in and doesn’t even wait for any conversation he just says that’s enough and starts beating the crap out of him. When another wolf looks like he is going to jump in Alcide’s dad jumps in and stops any interference and then Martha comes out with a shotgun to stop anyone else from interfering.  The fight is over quickly and Alcide rips out JD’s throat.  Hmmm well done Alcide.  He then goes on to give a great big long speech about the honor of the pack and that anyone that doesn’t like it has 24 hours to leave.  Blah Blah Blah … Yes I get it … well done Alcide … now back to the vampires!!!

Outside the vampire headquarters Eric and Nora drive up with Tara, Jason and Sookie apparently tied up in the back.  Bill gives them permissions to come in but not before the guard comments on how amazing the blonde smells.  Eric puts stop to that with a quick “She’s MINE!”  Oh not heard that for a while. So Salome is busy getting her sacred blood, which of course she can’t just drink, she has to create this whole big ritual, and Bill is in his room spying on all the surveillance videos, and our attack team are in the elevator arming up like a bad episode of Buffy but Tara has a nifty little gadget to blow out all the surveillance monitors.

The doors open and poor Chelsea realises something is wrong and just manages to hit the emergency panic button before Jason shoots her making her goo pile 3.  Now level 2 protocol is activated which I thought involved UV lights being triggered but Jason takes care of shooting out all the things in the ceilings which I thought were monitors but perhaps they stop the UV too?  Or maybe I am just remembering that wrong.  We do see the alarms going off in the cells too and no one is getting fried there either sooooo maybe that is only level one?  Of course I should go back and watch and check but I wanted to write this up today so I haven’t yet .. I may come back in and edit later …..

But I digress… Eric and Nora flash off to go to another room leaving Jason to take care of 3 more guards … splat splat splat before Sookie and Tara can exit the elevator and head down to the cells to find Jessica and Pam.

Eric and Nora are floating near the ceiling in the main meeting chamber and manage to take out a whole team of guards (12 I believe) in fangtastic style to bring the goo count up to 18.  Awesome!! Blood and goo everywhere!! LOVE IT!!!

Sookie and Tara go down to rescue Pam and Jessica but have to wait for Eric and Nora to disarm the system giving Tara the opportunity to splat yet another guard. Up to 19.  Not a good day to work for the Authority! Watching Eric and Nora bicker as they try and disarm the system was funny! They are so adorable together.  And their time taking gives Jason the chance to splat another vamp guard up in reception.  That makes 20!  When the doors to the cells can finally be opened Tara and Pam share a kiss that we have seen coming for a while now to a very triumphant “I KNEW IT” from Jessica!  Adorable!

While the chaos reigns in other parts of the building Salome is preparing to drink the blood in her little ritual.  Bill is there are seems to be trying to talk her out of it but Salome is set and says she trusts Lilith completely.  Hmmmmm turns out while she was busy trusting Lilith she should have been paying more attention to Bill who has apparently switched the blood out and spiked the new blood with a ton of silver. Ooooh Salome you silly silly girl.  For someone who is 2000 years old maybe you should have been a little more careful who you trusted.  And so Bill reveals that he has the sacred Lilith blood safe in a little vial and then stakes and turns poor Salome into another pile of Goo with the last words “Lilith Chose Wisely” (which I disagree with) making our splat total 21 and as predicted the rest of the Authority is no more … except Nora …. hmmmmm maybe they are keeping her around for some steamy scenes with Eric in season 6?  One can only hope!

As Bill finishes off Salome our band of renegades regroup in the lobby and manage to avoid Jason shooting them.  Jessica is so happy to see Jason but he pretty much breaks her heart telling her that he could never love a vampire.  Awwww poor Jessica :(.  The look that Pam and Eric says and the little Hello I thought was just amazing.  Those tiny actions speaking louder than a thousand words.  Fangtastic!  Eric tells them all to reload on the way up to the roof as there will be more guards waiting for them but then he and Sookie don’t get on the elevator.  They are going to try and save Bill, a plan which no one else seems very thrilled about but then the doors close.

Eric and Sookie find Bill standing over Salome’s remains and try and talk him into just getting rid of the blood but Bill is too far gone.  He says he only let them in in case he needed help finishing off Salome.  He says he has never cared for Sookie and she is an abomination.  Sookie is heartbroken and pleads with him to find what is left in himself but Bill is sick of apologizing and is ready to take control.  (Let me add at this point my husband was SCREAMING at the tv DRINK THE BLOOD DRINK THE BLOOD …. it was hysterical and he was rewarded because Bill does indeed drink the rest of the supposed blood of Lilith and I don’t think ANYONE could have predicted what happened next!!! Bill starts bleeding from everywhere and explodes becoming a great big BILL PILE OF GOO!!!!  NO WAY!!!!! Let me tell you the sounds in this house were hilarious.  My husband tugging on my arm saying did you see that coming, shocked gasps from my daughter, and me saying NO WAY!!!

Surely they wouldn’t kill off Bill right?? I mean I know the shock of killing off a main character but BILL???  Well Alan Ball had us fooled and totally ruined my whole “once you are goo you are gone” theory.  From the pile a good a large puddle of blood formed and from the blood formed BILL!  Just as Lilith rose from the blood earlier in the season Bill or as my lovely Lauren dubbed him “Billith” rose naked and with the biggest fangs (I mean these are FRANKLIN sized)  and he looks straight at Eric and Sookie …. and the season ends with Eric yelling RUN!!  

Run??? RUN??  How is she supposed to outrun Billith? Pick her up and RUN WITH HER!!!  And so ends yet another tumultuous season leaving us with the main questions being what on earth is going on with Bill now? And of course we still have no answers about Warlow.  How will Andy deal with 4 half fae babies, and is Luna going to make it.  Of course we have a year to wait ….. but yet Alan Ball left us a sneak peek online … only online after the credits rolled and now available on HBO Go and probably on YouTube ….. So I will leave you today with the details from that ……..

It is a scene in the elevator with the rest of the renegades getting everything reloaded and ready to stake more vamps.  Tara and Pam agree to go on a date (Awwwwww) and we see Jason look as though he is about to maybe freak out and take out all the vamps in there with him.  Before he can do something so stupid the doors open and they exit guns ready and fangs out.  As they head up some stairs (taking out another guard in the way … does that count in the numbers? lol) Jason says that he is coming for Warlow … to which Nora asks what he knows about Warlow letting us know that obviously at least Nora has some information on the subject so maybe Eric does too …. and THAT IS ALL WE GET!!!!!!!!!!   Oh it is going to be a LONG YEAR … and we all know WAITING SUCKS!!!!!

V””V

Memorable Lines From Save Yourself

  • Eric – “Well that felt even better than I thought it would!”
  • Nora – “OK I won’t eat her ….. swear on Godric”
  • Tara- “Are you sure this thing is light tight ….. it looks like Tupperware”
  • Jason – “If I want to be a fool then I will be a fool …. That is my god given right as an American!”
  • Pam – “Must all roads lead to fucking Sookie?”
  • Jason – “”That train has already sailed”
  • Arelene – “Who knew watching an Alien give birth could be so comforting”
  • Morella – “I honor what was, what is, and what will never be”
  • Eric – “See what you have been missing? Working for the fucking Authority?”

Season Finale Body / Goo Splatter Count

  • 1. Russell Edgington
  • 2. Rosalyn
  • 3. Chelsea the receptionist.
  • 4, 5, 6.  Three Guards by the elevator.
  • 7-18 … Whole Team Of Guards
  • 19. Prison Cells Guard
  • 20. Guard in reception
  • 21. Salome
  • 22. Bill …… but not for long

? I still have a big ??? About Luna ….. she was vomiting blood before she shifted back and we see her collapse.  Is it one skinwalk too many for her??

 

HBO Go – Extras

  • 01.11 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 01.25 – Unusual Refusal (Video)
  • 01.30 – An Ancient Feud
  • 01.38 – An Ancient Feud
  • 01.46 – An Ancient Feud
  • 01.54 – An Ancient Feud
  • 03.44 – Eternally Devoted (Video)
  • 05.20 – No Obstacles (Video)
  • 06.09 – Family Values (Video)
  • 08.24 – Unlikely Allies (Video)
  • 09.38 – Relive : A Special Connection (Video)
  • 10.58 – Jessica’s Vlog : Authority Prisoners (Video)
  • 12.18 – Selfless Sam (Video)
  • 13.29 – Challenge Accepted (Video)
  • 18.05 – Brotherly Love (Video)
  • 20.59 – Now Playing : Dazz performed by Beck
  • 21.57 – True Secret : Dueling DJ’s
  • 22.44 – A Rowdy Regular
  • 22.55 – True Secret : Faerie Cravings
  • 26.13 – Relieve : Absolutely, Totally, Unavailable.
  • 27.33 – Man on A Mission (Video)
  • 29.19 – Relive : Health Code Violations At Merlotte’s
  • 32.34 – Becoming Luna, Part 2 (Video)
  • 33.43 – True Trivia : Jane Bodehouse
  • 33.48 – True Trivia : Jane Bodehouse
  • 39.50 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 39.56 – Kaboom
  • 41.41 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 41.59 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 42.44 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 43.11 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 43.59 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 44.19 – A Long Time Coming (Video)
  • 47.21 – Friendship Hierarchy (Video)
  • 48.56 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 52.44 – Now Playing : Save Yourself performed by Stabbing Westward

True Blood Season 5 Ep 11 Sunset Synopsis / Review V””V

So here we are at episode 11 (Yes majorly late this week as the finale is tomorrow but hey better late than never) and is it me or has this season gone by even faster than normal without anything really happening? I have a horrible feeling that Alan Ball’s final contribution is going to be a whole lot of unanswered questions and worse cliffhangers than normal to give us a major fangover until next year!!!  Oh yes normal disclaimer about my spoiler reviews and the length and detail they go into which I am assuming by now you all know it … and if not well you will soon find out. My favorite memorable lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and  new for this year HBO Go added online extras time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

This week starts with Bill slipping deeper into his religious madness.  He now thinks that Lilith is talking to him telling him that he is the chosen one because only one can lead. She tells him to drink all the blood that is left in the little vial.  Bill at this point is not totally convinced which is probably a good thing seeing as he is totally delusional already.  An overdose of crazy juice does not sound like a good plan to me!

While Bill is all caught up in his little insanity, Nora on the other hand is starting to finally realize that things may not all be perfect in the garden of Lilith.  Salome comes to let her know that a General is coming to talk to them and Nora puts on a good act but we get to see that her conviction is slipping.  She heads off to tell the others about the visit and ends up in Eric’s room where we finally get to see some Eric / Nora action!! Not nearly enough though in my opinion.  The moment is slightly marred by her begging for forgiveness and asking what they are going to do but still those two together are hot! Oh and we get to see that Eric indeed was faking it last week.  Not surprised about that at all!

Jessica also knows that things aren’t right and tries to use Bill’s phone to contact Jason to warn him that Russell and Steve are out there.  Unfortunately Bill catches her and gives her a lecture about how humans mean nothing and are just food.  Jessica tries to convince Bill that she has been reading the book and wants to make Jason a vampire but Bill asks her flat out if she is trying to manipulate him.  He turns things around and sends guards with Jessica to make her turn Jason.  Ooops!! That didn’t turn out quite how Jessica planned.

So Jessica is being whisked off to turn Jason while Bill and the rest of the “New Authority Chancellors” (including Eric) have their meeting with General Cavanaugh (head of security for the United States). The General is not a happy camper having been trying to get hold of Roman to work out what the hell is going on.  He knows that the vampires bombed their own Tru Blood factories and he wants to know why. He lets them know that the arrangement with Roman is now not working and that the Pentagon has been having talks about how to eradicate all the vampires from the Earth.  The vampires let them know that Roman is no more and that there is a new regime but the General is not worried.  He has video of Russell and Steve’s little escapade killing 22 college guys and warns that he will show it to the world.  He reminds them that they assured the world and the president himself that Russell was dead and right now the only thing standing between the vampires and war with the humans is him.  Eric is smart and seizes his opportunity and snaps the Generals neck pretending that it was a spur of the moment impulse but his motives soon become clear when he suggests that he and Nora go out on a glamouring campaign to cover all the problems up.  Annoyingly Bill knows Eric too well and whilst he lets them go he insists they take a guard detail with them.

Off they head and we see them in the back of the car while the 2 guards are in the front.  Eric asks if he can change the radio station and when they agree he leans forward and expertly stakes them both at once leaving a lovely goo splattered car.  Eric and Nora have a moment outside the car where Nora rips off her Lilith pendant and throws it to the floor commenting that they will be coming for them.  Eric looks at her and then they both shoot up into the air.  Hmmmmmm wonder if Nora will survive the finale? Poor Eric will be devastated if she doesn’t and I have to say I far prefer him with her rather than Sookie!  Sookie is just no end of trouble!

Back in Bon Temps Jason arrives home to find Jessica (complete with guards) waiting for him.  She tries to get the message across that something is wrong but Jason being Jason is not too quick on the uptake.  Next thing we know we see Jessica biting him and then they are in the ground and the guards are burying them.  Shock moment …. did Jessica actually turn him??? Nope! Turns out that somehow she manages to let Jason know what is going on and has faked the whole thing because she says NOW and Jason sits up and shoots the 2 guards.  2 piles of instant vamp goo and one very confused Jason.  Jessica explains that Russell and Steve are coming for Sookie and that Bill and Eric have gone mad with vamp religion and that she is sorry.  Poor Jessica really was trying to do the right thing. Looks like these two are just never going to work.  Such a shame.

Over at Fangtasia Pam and Tara are cleaning up the aftermath of killing the asshole Sheriff Elijah (and good riddance) and Tara is getting a quick lesson in the laws of the vampires which obviously Pam has failed to share until now.  Tara is very unimpressed by the whole idea of the Authority but Pam lets her know that in this case at least fear would be a good thing.  Pam orders her not to ever speak about what happened with Elijah again.  You know that this is not going to be good.  Even as Tara was saying how all traces of Elijah are gone I could see blood splattered on the book on the deskAs they leave the office Jessica comes in begging Pam to hide her.  Pam’s first response is No but Jessica has an ace up her sleeve.  She knows where Eric is and no matter how bad things are Pam still wants Eric back and so Pam orders Tara to get Jessica’s coffin out of storage.

At the Authority headquarters we see Luna and Sam scampering around as mice although they have no idea where they are.  You know I still can’t believe NONE of the vamps can smell that there are two shapeshifters running around in there no matter how quickly they keep shifting back to their mice personas.  Can I add here that I am really sick of seeing Luna’s boobs?  She definitely does not have any sex appeal for me at all and the last few episodes every other scene we see her in she is naked.

Crazy as things are getting we haven’t seen anything yet as we head over to the Fae nightclub where Sookie is about to meet the Elder Fae who apparently is the oldest fairy to have escaped through the portals before they closed.  Now the hope is that this Elder can give Sookie some help with regard to the whole Warlow problem but they warn Sookie that the Elder has been so many places over so much time that she has trouble focussing. That is a vast understatement.  This Elder is completely crazy! Throwing out random questions about popular culture in between her cognitive moments as she dances around the stage with some weird African style movements.  I am sure this looked like a much better idea when they wrote it out because the reality of it was another one of those “Giant Egg” moments from Season 2.  Bizarre in the extreme and really just not working on any level.  The main outcome seems to be that as long as the fairies hold on to their light they will be OK.  Right in the middle of it Jason interrupts and freaks the Elder out by letting her know that Russell is alive.  Apparently even with all her eons of knowledge this was not part of it.  Sookie, however, already knows all about Russell and as the fairies all freak out she explains that they need to fight because Russell is not going to stop coming for them.  Surprisingly the crazy Elder fae agrees even though Morella thinks it is suicide. Jason and Sookie go outside and we hear that they have a plan.  We don’t get to know what the plan is yet but we now know they have one although Jason is all for not following the plan and just killing Russell on sight.  Not quite sure how he would plan on doing that what with Russell being a 3000 year old vampire and all but hey good luck with that!

With daytime hitting  we get a scene with Holly and Andy at Merlottes and Holly making her kids apologize for the naked Andy Facebook picture.  Andy gives them a nice speech about how he will be there for Holly as long as she will have him.  Well we all know that this is going to go wrong when that pregnant fairy pops up to show herself which doesn’t take long.  Andy is back at the bar at lunch time and is talking with Arlene and Terry when Morella pops in much to the shock of Arlene who quickly surmises that Andy is responsible.  Andy is not happy with the situation and goes into the office to try and convince Morella that he wants to be with Holly but silly Andy made the light pact last season.  Oh we all knew that that was going to be a bad idea that would come back to haunt him and although it has taken almost all season here it is! Now Morella is demanding that he honor the pact to protect her and their baby or she claims it will be an act of war. 

We get to see what Alcide has been up to which is basically not a lot.  He is at his dad’s and he appears to be  just smashing the ground for no good reason.  The Packmaster of Jackson shows up to let them know that there has been a huge increase in what appear to be newborn vamp attacks and to have a little dig at Alcide’s dad.  We learn, after the packmaster leaves, that the reason that Alcide’s dad is no longer in the pack is he stole money from them obviously to support his gambling addiction.  The whole Alcide storyline just seems a little redundant at this point.  I am assuming at some point he is going to be going back to fight to take the other pack back? You know personally I could just pass on the whole werewolf storyline completely but if they insist on having it in there they need to get moving with it! When night falls we get to see Alcide deal with some of the pesky babyvamps who are attacking his neighbours.  Apparently someone forgot to give the babyvamps all the info because one of them seems really surprised that when they die they turn to goo.Alcide gets in a little over his head and it is his dad to the rescue. Hmmmm wonder if that means his dad is going to come back with him when he goes to fight the packmaster in Shreveport. 

Back to Fangtasia with Pam giving Jessica and Tara a lesson on nests and how it seems that this Lilith’s blood is causing nest behaviour but on steroids.  Pam for me has definitely been a stand out this season even more than usual.  Her one liners and sarcasm have been through the roof and I LOVE it! As Pam goes up to work in the bar Jessica notices that maybe Tara likes Pam in more than a friend kinda way.  They have a cute little bonding moment and Tara says she will try to bring Jessica a Fangbanger later.  Hilarious. Up in the bar with Tara working and Pam surveying from Eric’s throne things are about to take a turn for the worst as Rosalyn comes in.  It turns out that she was Sheriff Elijah’s maker. Uh oh! She tells Tara she can smell his blood on her but Pam steps up and says that she killed him and immediately gets arrested.  Jessica has crept upstairs and is lurking around when Rosalyn smells her and now Jessica is caught too.  See this is what annoys me with the whole smelling thing …… Rosalyn can smell Jessica but couldn’t notice not one but TWO shifters?  Ridiculous!!!!!!

Back to the vampire headquarters and Lilith is still trying to get Bill to drink the rest of her blood and she almost has him convinced.  He goes to the little chamber but finds Kibwe already there, crying, saying that Lilith appeared to him.  Bill is not impressed and puts and end to Kibwe by removing his head! Hmmmmmm looks like Lilith is really up to no good. At this rate there won’t be ANY of the Authority members left for the finale.  Deep down in the cells Luna and Sam are exploring and they find cage after cage of humans (who are surprised as anything when 2 mice become human) which is obviously the equivalent of the Authority pantry.  At the end of all these cages they find Emma, still in cub form but just as they do two guards appear and question why Luna and Sam aren’t locked up.  They quickly start to rectify that when another guard appears stating that Chancellor Compton has requested his breakfast.  Sam volunteers to go saying he would rather get it over with and tells Luna to do whatever she needs to.  As Sam is being taken to Bill there is one of the funniest scenes of the season in my opinion with Pam being escorted down to the cells and they pass each other and question what they are each doing there.  Even better Sam tells Pam to help Luna but Pam has no clue who Luna is.  Nice to see that they are keeping track of who knows who!

Bill gets paged up to the main lobby to see Jessica and poor Jessica tries to reason with Bill but Bill has completely lost the plot and ends up slapping Jessica so hard that she goes flying across the room.  Now Bill always gets on my nerves but this is totally ridiculous.  Someone needs to teach him a lesson and fast!  Let’s hope that Eric has a plan for next week!

While all this is going on Salome gets a visit from Lilith who tells her that SHE is the chosen one and to go and drink the blood.  Now I am betting that Salome isn’t going to have any problem with that at all and will head there just as fast as her vampire legs will carry her.  Guess we will see what happens with that next week too.

Jason is waiting on Sookie’s porch complete with shotgun and Russell appears out of nowhere and disarms him. Steve then appears and they make, as Russell calls it, a hunk sandwich with Jason in the middle.  A little glamouring later and Jason is happily leading the two vampires to the Fae club to see Sookie.  It is hilarious when they get to the field to see Russell and Steve zipping around like crazy because they can smell all the fairies but of course they can’t see the club.  Eventually Russell gets frustrated and hold Jason hostage threatening to tear him apart unless Sookie comes out.  We get to see inside the club where we learn that the plan was apparently for Jason to bring Russell there for the fairies to fight but suddenly the Elder Fae has a different idea.  She is going to go outside to fight him by herself.  Oh you know that is a BAD plan!  Whilst she manages to zap Steve when she tries to zap Russell and banish him he moves Jason in front of him and then before she can strike again Russell zips around and drains her dry.  Told you it was a bad plan.  Even worse now Russell is full of fairy blood he can see the club and that is where we end this week with Russell drunk and looking at a whole room full of fairies!!

And so with the finale fast approaching and rumors that it will be more blood filled than ever it is time to ask who will survive to see season 6. Alan Ball has apparently written this final episode of the season which is only fitting as he wrote the script for the very first episode too.  I am guessing that there are going to be way more questions than we get answers on Sunday and we will yet again be left with almost a year of speculation.  My prediction is that they are setting this up for the Fae war that is mentioned in the books and I am thinking that season 6 will probably have the Shifters coming out as well.  As for who will survive I would say that the only definites would be Sookie, Eric, Bill and Sam.  I am going to say Jason, Pam and Tara will probably make it too but everyone else is probably fair game especially after killing Roman off after so few episodes.  I am pretty sure Salome and Rosalyn will be definite casualties and Nora and Luna may be there too.  I am really hoping that Russell and Steve make it but sadly I have a feeling they may not which would be a terrible waste. They have been amazing this season and I would love to keep them around.  I would love some answers as to what is really going on with all the Lilith stuff but I think that is going to be just left floating around as a we will never know.  *Sigh*

 

V””V

Memorable Lines From Sunset

  • Pam – “Since when did I become a halfway house for wayward baby vamps?”
  • Sookie – “I know you have trouble with frequencies, but there’s a creepy vampire ghost air monster who killed my parents and now he’s coming to get me.”
  • Arlene – “You gotta know that person’s gonna be there for you through thick and thin, cuz you never know when some Iraqi ghost lady is gonna curse your entire family.”
  • Pam – “I find most vampires as irritating as most humans.”
  • Pam – “Maybe later we can braid each others hair and talk about boys”
  • Tara – “Shes a lotta bark …. and a lotta bite”
  • Russell – “I actually met him (Jesus) … He was a boring hippie who stank of patchouli!”
  • Russell – “Impressive … you are Turbo charged”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 02.09 – The Evolution Of Bill
  • 02.19 – The Evolution Of Bill
  • 02.29 – The Evolution Of Bill
  • 05.11 – Seductive Reasoning (Video)
  • 06.31 – Holy Roller (Video)
  • 08.12 – Jess Grows Up (Video)
  • 10.10 – Make Up Sex (Video)
  • 11.38 – Living A Lie (Video)
  • 12.40 – True Trivia : General Cavanaugh
  • 12.45 – True Trivia : General Cavanaugh
  • 12.51 – True Trivia : General Cavanaugh
  • 15.09 – Pricey Takeout
  • 18.57 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 19.33 – Jason’s Shit List (Video)
  • 19.41 – Babies Having Babies (Video)
  • 20.34 – Emotional Volume (Video)
  • 21.20 – Relive (Very) Random Act Of Kindness (Video)
  • 21.55 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 22.25 – A Complicated Victory (Video)
  • 23.37 – True Trivia : The Elder
  • 23.42 – True Trivia : The Elder
  • 23.47 – True Trivia : The Elder
  • 26.06 – Now Playing : Cars, Bars, and Guitars performed by The Go Getters
  • 29.21 – Now PLaying : Little Girl Wandered Off performed by Derrick Stout
  • 32.23 – Now Playing : Rodeo Queen performed by Gayle Lynn
  • 33.35 – A Promise is a Promise
  • 35.08 – Nest Behavior
  • 35.27 – True Faith (Video)
  • 36.24 – Just A Crush (Video)
  • 36.49 – Partner In Angst (Video)
  • 36.56 – Now Playing : What Makes A Good Man performed by The Heavy
  • 38.43 – Blame Game (Video)
  • 40.05 – Werewolf Dinnertime
  • 41.49 – Eternal Flame (Video)
  • 41.59 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 42.15 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 42.51 – True Secret : Allergic To My Kid
  • 43.18 – Office Dress Code (Video)
  • 43.57 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 44.02 – Cold Blooded Bill (Video)
  • 44.20 – True Trivia : AHQ Guest List
  • 44.25 – True Trivia : AHQ Guest List
  • 45.38 – Bad Dads (Video)
  • 46.00 – Loose God (Video)
  • 46.47 – True Secret : That Smell
  • 48.59 – Spin Off Show (Video)
  • 49.04 – Now Playing : Sunset performed by Stevie Wonder

True Blood Season 5 Ep 10 Gone, Gone, Gone Synopsis / Review V””V

Greetings and Salutations fellow Trubies (or my random blog followers). Major delay this week due to real life issues but here I am with my thoughts on Episode 10.  After last week I must say I had very high hopes for this one, with 2 of the less interesting storylines done and dusted, but sadly my hopes were not reached AND HBO did us out of another almost 15 minutes of screen time .. AGAIN!!!  Normally at this point there is a little disclaimer about my spoiler reviews and the length and detail they go into but I am assuming by now you all know it … and if not well you will soon find out. My favorite memorable lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and  new for this year HBO Go added online extras time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

This week starts with “News reports” about all the Tru Blood factory bombings and Steve Newlin spinning his little blurb about despite how vampire attacks are rumoured to be on the rise humans should feel safe and continue their lives as normal blah blah blah at which point we see Sookie watching the news and she shuts it off to sit down and eat the chinese she has ordered.  Funny I didn’t even know they HAD a chinese take-out in Bon Temps.  Well good thing for Sookie that they did as she gets a visit from Mike Spencer (coroner) who is here about the body.  After inviting him in a poor confused Sookie asks “what body” and Mike sprouts fangs and says YOURS!!!  Sadly for Mike this isn’t Sookie’s first vamp encounter and he meets the true death at the end of some pointy chopsticks.  Makes a change from a pencil I suppose.

Andy comes to investigate and the discussion starts off with how Mike would have loved the crime scene and a little reminiscing about how Mike was good for the town and ended up with how Mike wanted to suck Sookie’s toes and that he kept his porn with his autopsy photos. Well OK then. All in all it turns out that there won’t be an investigation as at the moment with everything going on, one less vamp to worry about is apparently a good thing….. so nothing new with Bon Temps law enforcement there then!

Over at Vamp headquarters poor techie Molly is about to receive the True Death at the hands of her own iStake invention for her part in the failed escape attempt last week.  They do give her one last chance to “accept Lilith” but Molly, after a moving little speech becomes the second vampire pile of goo this week.  Shame really. She did amuse me.  Steve is absolutely ECSTATIC about the whole thing having never actually seen a vampire meet the end before.  Salome is unamused by his little display but Russell enjoys it and decides they should all go out to eat. Salome again is not impressed but it becomes clear that Russell is fast growing bored of the whole “New Authority” idea unless it is the killing and eating side of it.  Well good for Russell because I have to admit I am a little bored with it too! Steve and Russell leave with a parting wish of Good Luck for dealing with Northman.

It seems that their plan for dealing with Eric is to make him trip out again by giving him some more of whatever is in that little vial of “Lilith” blood.  Wonder if we will ever get to discover what exactly that is?  Nora, very generously (insert eye roll here), offers to take the blood and share the trip with him. Oh how nice of her.  Yes that is a REAL sacrifice thereThey force the blood down Eric’s throat and then leave him and Nora to whatever vision they might have as Bill spies from another room on his little monitor.

And what a vision they share (although Bill can’t see it), Godric appears to both Nora and Eric and says a touching little piece and tries to convert Nora ….. and he almost seems to be convincing her until  Lilith appears and rips Godric  to shreds!!! Oooooh I didn’t see that coming! Can you kill a ghost? Vision? Hmmm well this is all just a little confusing.

Far less confusing, and rather sweet is the scene with Russell and Steve, dancing the night away to Katy Perry, covered in the blood of a cabin load of tourists they have just eaten. Awww these 2 really are a cute couple.  Russell is back on his Sun Walking kick so we know he is going for Sookie and Steve is right on board.  Actually at this point I think Steve would just do whatever Russell says!

Back towards Bon Temps we see Hoyt being driven home from the hospital by his mother and it seems that he has had a revelation following his almost getting eaten by a pig.  he is going to move to Alaska and start a new life. Well OK then.  Rather random but as Hoyt has been rather irritating this season that works for me.  In order for this to happen he decides he needs a meeting with Jessica and Jason to clear the air and what better place than Merlottes.  It seems, however, that he didn’t tell them who they were meeting and we see Jessica arrive first and almost get shot by 2 redneck hicks who are at the bar.  With a little intervention from the fabulous Lala and Sam all is under control and Jessica decides she is not going to eat the attackers after all but I don’t think they will be back any time soon.

Hoyt arrives and spills his whole “moving to Alaska” plan and the one thing he wants as a going away present is for Jessica to glamour away all memories of her and of Jason, including them growing up together. Now I suppose that this was supposed to be a really touching scene, and I am sure for many it was, but for me it was just filler and kinda pointless.  I am not really sure what they are up to here.  Is Hoyt really going to just leave and that’s it? Wow someone making it out alive when Alan Ball could add another one to his body count. Well I suppose there are still 2 episodes left.  We do see Hoyt driving off and Jason pulling him over to show us that oooooh Hoyt doesn’t remember him … yes Glamour works.  We get it.  Dull Dull Dull!

Merlottes is not the only bar having issues as Fangtasia is struggling to make any money which is not amusing new Sheriff Elijah.  He wants to bring in the equivalent of “peep show boothes” but instead of a show the vamp gets to bite a human for 30 seconds.  Pam is not amused by that and is even LESS amused at the idea that Area 5 has to produce 30 new baby vamps by the end of the year and if she fails to do so Elijah gets the bar AND Tara. Hmmm this isn’t going to end well.

Away from Elijah’s prying ears Tara offers to make a couple of babyvamps as after all she always wanted a couple of kids but Pam has other plans.  She says that Elijah can take Fangtasia, it is just a building, and she and Tara will take off and live in the wind just like Pam and Eric used to.  Well that sounds like a much better plan than Tara making a couple of new vamps *shudders*.

As it turns out Tara comes up with a plan all on her own. With the help of Ginger, she creates a “fake” emergency that she calls Elijah in to see saying that she is worried she had killed a human and didn’t know how to change her over.  Elijah looks unimpressed and bitches about Pam being a bad maker … and then he realises that Ginger isn’t even dead and that is when Ginger sticks a sword in him which distracts him just long enough for Tara to cut his head off!!!  Ginger starts screaming (Oh it wouldn’t be a season of True Blood without at least one screaming Ginger scene) and Pam comes running to see what the fuss is about and although she doesn’t seem amused you know deep down she is one proud mama vamp right now!

Daytime hits and Sookie is planning on going to stay with Jason for a while so he is helping her pack up some things and they discuss Gran’s message about looking “under the bed”.  Jason works out that it might be LITERALLY under the bed rather than in the box and sure enough he finds a floor board that can come up with an ancient scroll hidden there.  They take it to a university to be analysed and are told that the language appears to be made up at which point they realise what the rest of us already worked out.  It is written in Fae. So they take it to the fairy club where the pregnant Morella (hmmm Andy is going to have some explaining to do at some point) decipher it to let them know that basically Sookie has been promised to Warlow. Oops!! Well they have 2 episodes to either work that out or that will be one of the cliffhangers that they leave to annoy us for a year until season 6.

Sam and Luna are using the day to try and work out a way to get Emma back.  The pack has abandoned them and everyone else seems to think Luna is crazy (well they may have a point there).  Sam does manage to find where Steve is going to be doing a press conference that night though and assumes that Emma might be there with him and so they take off to New Orleans to try and attempt a rescue all on their own. Hmmmm 2 shifters against a whole load of vamps …… doesn’t sound like much of a plan to me but I guess it is the best they got!

They get to where the interview is being filmed but there is no sign of Emma, (because as we get to see she is back at the vampire headquarters with Russell), however, they do manage to find Steve’s cell phone complete with pictures of Emma on it and so they do what any good shifters would do ….. turn into mice and hide in his bag.  Now is it me or would you expect a vampire to be able to smell that not one but TWO shifters were just in the room with his stuff? I mean seriously? And with Rosalyn with him too? Surely ONE of them should have been able to smell them.  USELESS!!

In the meantime Russell sends Emma off with a babysitter (dog sitter?? wolf sitter?)  while a now subdued, and apparently converted, Eric comes in and apologizes to Russell.  So this is just getting weird now.  Is Eric playing along? Has he really converted to Lilith?  How has Alan Ball yet again taken what could have been a great storyline and dragged it out into dullness?? Anyway Eric apologizes and Russell looks … well let’s just say Russell obviously has ulterior motives but they are not clear quite yet.  A happy Lilith convert Russell definitely is not!

Jessica has been bought to the vampire headquarters under the order of Bill and he seems very happy to have her there. She quickly realises that something is not quite right but is smart enough to play along for now at least.  With her history of religious families and what she endured this is probably not going to be the best fit for her.

Steve returns (complete with shifter mice in his bag… which STILL no one is smelling …..) to find that Emma is not a puppy but is a human and he is not happy about it one bit and uses the old “Do you want Nigel to eat you” threat … hmmmmm parenting skills may need a little work there Steve!

In the boardroom Jessica is studying the “bible” as the rest of the vamps plan their next move which apparently is to get EVERYONE to read the vampire bible, old and new alike.  Russell is bored and wants to go find fairy blood and play in the light. Salome disagrees and says that they need to stay in the dark and threatens to put Russell back in the ground.  Oh no Salome … tut tut tut ….. you should know better than that but she doesn’t and Russell responds by throwing her against the wall.  Oh that is probably the most interesting thing that has happened this episode! Ugh she gets on my nerves!!! And so Russell has had enough and after threatening the WHOLE room of vamps and reminding them that he is 3000 years old and could kill them all!!! He takes off!!! (Leaving a very stunned room of vamps) Ooooh goody!!! Let’s hope he is off to cause some total mayhem for next week’s episode!

And there you have it ….. just 2 episodes to go and really the only questions seem to be … what is going to happen with Sookie and Warlow …. will he get to keep her as the contract says …. I am going to go out on a limb here and say probably not!! And then you have the vampires and their takeover of the world with their underground plan which is probably now going to go all to hell as Russell is bored and has gone off to do his own thing.  Oh and we are still in the dark as to whether Eric has actually converted or not.  I am going to go with no on that one too.  Still no real hot action this season *sigh* … no longer can we really refer to it really as vampire porn *pouts*……

V””V

Memorable Lines From Gone, Gone, Gone

  • Molly – “You are destroying the world based on a book that is thousands of years old. You call that evolved? That’s the opposite of evolved.”
  • Russell “Your religion has literally kept you in the dark. You can have your Lilith. I will not be constrained by your god or anyone else’s. I will have the sun!”
  • Sam – “I’m all out of True Blood but I got 2 new specials on the menu”
  • Tara – “You gotta help me … I don’t know nothing ’bout birthing no baby vampires”
  • Steve – “Emma … you know daddy doesn’t like it when you are human …. do you want Nigel to eat you?”
  • Russell – “Are we seriously sitting here discussing education reform? Are we vampires or school maams?”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 00.51 – Spin Doctor (Video)
  • 02.09 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 02.17 – How To Stake A Vampire In A Pinch
  • 02.21 – How To Stake A Vampire In A Pinch
  • 02.26 – How To Stake A Vampire In A Pinch
  • 02.31 – How To Stake A Vampire In A Pinch
  • 04.45 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 05.51 – True Secrets : Power Suits
  • 05.59 – Now Playing : Bread and Water performed by Caroline Horn
  • 06.08 – True Secret : Who Loves Maxine Fortenberry?
  • 10.08 – First Draft : Torturing Eric
  • 11.04 – Converting Eric (Video)
  • 12.21 – Godric’s Return (Video)
  • 13.17 – Unsteady Ground (Video)
  • 13.29 – Now Playing: Teenage Dream performed by Katy Perry
  • 14.01 – I’m Thinking Greek
  • 14.09 -An Older Man (Video)
  • 14.15 – Now Playing : Gone Gone Gone performed by Carl Perkins
  • 15.41 – Fear of the Unknown (Video)
  • 16.25 – Now Playing : Supertripper performed by Circuit Freq
  • 17.06 – A United Front (Video)
  • 22.57 – Parting Ways (Video)
  • 25.41 – Visit The AVL Website
  • 27.26 – A Real Good Guy (Video)
  • 27.48 – Attention To Detail
  • 28.32 – Second Look : Mysterious Scroll
  • 28.56 – Now Playing : Need A Little Help performed by Cree Rider
  • 30.09 – Andy’s Appeal (Video)
  • 30.15 – Jessica’s Vlog : Let’s Get Together And Feel Alright (Video)
  • 31.31 – Lafayette’s Lover
  • 34.33 – True Trivia : Go To Shifts
  • 34.38 – True Trivia : Go To Shifts
  • 34.43 – True Trivia : Go To Shifts
  • 37.47 – Bye Bye Bubba (Video)
  • 40.22 – New Bill, Old Bill (Video)
  • 40.27 – Now Playing : Heavens to Murgatroid performed by Acumen Nation
  • 41.03 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 41.08 – Relive : Deja Goo (Video)
  • 41.20 – Not In Our House (Video)
  • 44.32 – Your Roots Are Showing
  • 44.52 – Daddy Dogma (Video)
  • 45.45 – Relive : The First Time (Video)
  • 47.28 – Now Playing : You Know, I Know performed by John Lee Hooker

True Blood Season 5 Ep 9 Everybody Wants To Rule The World Synopsis / Review V””V

Greetings and Salutations fellow Trubies (or my random blog followers). Here we are at Episode 9 and just when things had been building up nicely I have to say this episode, for me at least, fell kind of flat.  Probably because less than 1/4 of it .. yes you read that correctly, was about the vampires! Dear Alan Ball and crew …. did you FORGET the original premise for the show?  Normally at this point there is a little disclaimer about my spoiler reviews and the length and detail they go into but this time it is a bit different.  As this episode contained a whole lot of filler that did not interest me in the least (save for the fact that it did seem to effectively FINISH 2 of the ever-growing list of storylines so they can just be OVER) I have decided that this will be split into summarizing (and my thoughts / bitching)  the 3 main storylines going on with the odd other bits I feel deserve mentioning, oh and the werewolf stuff too …. suppose I should mention what is going on with that.  At least part of it ties in with the vamps!  I did still list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and kept the new for this year HBO Go added online extras time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

When you break this week’s episode down, as I said, you really have 3 main things going on.  1. The Vampire Authority / Sanguinisa plans to take over the world, 2. The whole Obama / Shifter shooting storyline, and 3. The Terry / Patrick / Ifrit ridiculous smoke monster issue…… with honorable mentions to Lafayette and Pam in their scenes.   As the only one that interests me out of those main 3 is the first one let’s take these in reverse order.

As we know from last week the spirit of the woman that cursed Terry and Patrick has come up with an acceptable solution to let one of them live. Well this drags on through much of the episode with Terry going off to find Patrick, who in turns decides he is going to make the first move and kidnaps Arlene and holds her hostage at Merlottes.  When Terry arrives they argue, Arlene eventually stabs Patrick with a pencil (seems to be a recurring weapon in True Blood), and then Terry gets Patrick at gunpoint on the floor.  Suddenly Patrick is all about family and doing the right thing as Arlene screams frantically to shoot him. The ghost appears and tells Terry to “do the right thing” which turns out to be shooting Patrick twice in the head.  This makes the ghost happy as the debt has been paid in blood and the smoke monster / iFrit thing, comes out and devours Patrick’s body leaving just a puddle of blood on the floor. Well that is a much easier clean up!  And thus hopefully ends one of what has to be the most pointless, time-wasting storylines this season!

Before we get to the shifter shooting stuff a brief mention of Sookie. After her crazy encounter with the vamp “spirit thingy” has called the wonderful Lafayette to see if he a sense something going on.  Now after the build up last week this vamp entity doesn’t make any appearance this episode at all but I have to say Lafayette in this scene was awesome! I love seeing him back with his season 1 pizzazz and flinging around some amazing lines.  Pretty much every line out of his mouth in this scene could have ended up in the best lines!  Whilst he fails to sense any weird vamp spirit he does discover that there are a whole lot of ghosts around in Sookie’s bedroom and they ALL want to have their say.  He, however, is only interested in listening to Gran.  She tells them to look under the bed where there is a box that Sookie has gone through many times but this time she realizes when reading one of the newspaper clippings that Bud Dearborn investigated her parents death. (Oh so that explains the apparently random appearance last week … knew there had to be a True Blood type reason for Andy’s visit).

With Hoyt missing and Luna irritated, everyone seems to be researching the whole Obama / shifter shooting.  Jason and Andy are doing things the police way (which apparently includes beating the hell out of a prisoner to get no information), and have worked out that they need to know who the “Dragon” is so they can put a stop to it.  Luna and Sam turn up at the police station and are told to go home but Sam has a better idea and they turn into flies and hover to get the information as it comes to the Police’s attention.  This actually doesn’t take long as whilst watching hate videos they notice that one of the Obama’s are wearing boots …. line dancing special boots …. given on his retirement.  Yep Bud Dearborn is an Obama. 

Sadly Sookie wasn’t in on this conversation and she was doing her own investigation into her parents death with no clue what she was getting into.  Bud’s new girlfriend knocks her out with a frying pan and ties her up and dumps her out in a pig pen with Hoyt one stall over, unconscious with no idea what is going on.  When Sookie comes around we learn that Bud’s girlfriend is Sweetie Des Arts (Nice book reference) and she is in fact that Dragon and started her hating when her ex preferred a shifter to her.  Her answer to everything is to drug Sookie with some Oxycontin laced ginger ale and then throw Sookie and Hoyt for the pigs to eat all whilst filming it for their Humans For America website. 

This probably would have been a good plan save for the fact that Sam and Luna were already there, disguised as pigs, and Sam catches Sookie as he transforms to human much to the surprise and annoyance of the Obamas.  After safely depositing Sookie on the ground a very naked Sam fights most of the Obamas but Sweetie takes off chased by Luna who is now a German Shepherd.  With the chase going on outside Andy and Jason finally show up with reinforcements just in time to save Sam as Andy shoots Bud in the chest and kills him.  The remaining Obamas soon surrender and Luna catches Sweetie and beats the hell out of her.  Hey I would have to for threatening my daughter!  Hoyt is severely injured but is taken to the hospital and we assume he is going to be OK.  If not just call Jessica and have her bring over some vamp blood.

Well that would appear to be the end of that storyline so that is 2 of them finished with (one hopes) for the season.  Of course all is not over with shifters as Emma has been staying with the wolves after the whole Martha stepping in to help her bit.  More on that in the vamp bit coming up but a brief mention of Alcide.  This week all we see of him is him off licking his wounds (metaphorically speaking) and he is heading back to Jackson to see his dad.  We get a rather pointless (in my opinion) flashback to him and Debbie as children being initiated into the pack, and then we get to see him at the end with his dad who is gambling and drinking in a trailer somewhere.  I am assuming we will get to learn more about that next week.  Oh joy … I can hardly wait!

Oh yes almost forgot and Sookie goes home and is watching the Tru Blood stuff on the news when her family fairies turn up …. as we only see them for a minute and they let Sookie know vampires are behind it all I am guessing they are going to be around to help next week too.

And so we get to the actual part that I WAS interested in.  The vampires.  The episode actually starts with the council members all standing around the table with a naked man spread out ready for them to eat.  Russell suggests a prayer that Steve supplies (a hilarious stupid thing that doesn’t amuse Salome at all) which is then followed by Salome chanting something far more religious sounding… and then they all eat.

In the entry office we see Molly (the little technical iStake expert) trying to access the elevator but we discover she doesn’t have high enough clearance.  She knows something is up and Eric corners her in a room and with the help of one of her little gadget that allows them 30 second surveillance free chat they come up with a crazy plan that will enable them both to escape.

Eric confronts Bill over his, what Eric thinks is, playing along, but it immediately becomes clear that Bill seems to be a little more involved than Eric thought claiming that he actually wonders if God was a vampire.  Eric does however go over the plan which is going to turn out to be a huge mistake.   The other part of Eric’s plan seems to involve convincing Nora that he wants to believe.  Now this to me was the perfect opportunity to put in some Eric / Nora nookie!  We are definitely lacking of the sex this season and what they have given us other than episode one has been dull dull dull!!!  And tonight is no exception.  Instead of Eric and Nora we get a boring scene with Bill and Salome, who becomes Sookie, and then Lilith, and then Salome again. Well at least we see that Sookie didn’t actually sleep with Bill again so Praise Lilith for that I guess.  Ugh seriously who is directing these scenes??? It used to be that you could say no it’s not porn it’s True Blood but the last few seasons it has been yawnsville!!!

While all the boring sexscapades and lack thereof are going on Russell and latest boy toy Steve are heading to see JD and the pack celebrating JD becoming the new packmaster.  Russell decides to join in these celebrations by opening a vein and sharing his blood with the pack who all lap it up excitedly …. except Martha.  Martha sits back with Emma which immediately draws Russell’s attention when she decides not to join in despite his personal invitation.  Russell decides to respond by taking Emma and giving him to Steve as a pet.  JD does try and protest only to realize what a stupid mistake he has made because Russell OWNS them now!  Silly dogs!!! Thus Steve and Russell leave with Emma much to the anguished screams of Martha. Hmmmmm I am guessing Luna is going to be none to happy about this little development!

Quick trip here to Fangtasia to check in with Pam and the crew and Tara is worried about stockpiling Tru Blood as the factories are all getting destroyed and things are about to get ugly.  Pam explains that the last thing Fangtasia wants to do is not serve the Tru Blood that they have so that their vampire patrons do not eat their human ones and when the Tru Blood is gone vampires will do what they have done for years.  Pretend and then feed discreetly in private!  Sadly there seems to be one flaw in those plans.  A Marilyn Manson looking vampire called Elijah who is sitting on Eric’s thrown openly feeding on a human.  When Pam confronts him Elijah tells her that he has been appointed as the new Sheriff and that drinks (as in humans) are on him.  Oh this isn’t going to be good.  Let’s hope Eric finds a way to escape.

Sadly that is not looking too good as the best laid plans have all gone wrong.  Molly and Eric have managed to subdue Nora and are about to leave with her but were trying to wait for Bill and Salome’s blood that he was meant to be bringing.  As Eric uses an unconcious Nora’s finger to open the elevator Bill arrives much to Eric’s relief but that relief is short-lived as the elevator doors open and there inside is  Salome complete with a whole contingent of guards.  Oh Bill you TRAITOR!!!! Ugh I can’t stand him!!! Him and his smug little look he shares with Salome.  STAKE THEM BOTH!

And so we have just 3 episodes to go.  The preview for which look awesome but so have they all.  With at least 2 of the storylines concluded I would normally be saying let’s hope for some bloodlust and craziness.  Praise Lilith. Kill the humans! But this would put me on Bill’s side and so I don’t think I can do it.  How about we stake Bill and then see how I feel?  Just a suggestion!  True Blood is once again trying to push the relevance of tolerance in today’s society as its main theme but to me the whole comparison with the KKK and messages there felt forced and too blatant. Perhaps now they have a more mainstream audience (with over 10 million fans) they feel that subtlety is no longer an option.  The messages more cryptically placed and hidden to me are far more provocative but so be it.  I sadly feel that boundaries are not being pushed when things feel so shoved down your throat but it will not stop my obsession or my love of the show.  It just makes for slightly sadder observations.

I will still be sitting there come Sunday waiting for 9pm and my weekly fix to come on and in 3 weeks time when the finale is over I will still be lamenting the fact that I have 9 months to fill with re-runs and net scouring for spoilers, forever a trubie!

V””V

Memorable Lines From Everybody Wants To Rule The World

  • Eric – “Prayer is a fairly new concept to me”
  • Eric – “Put the baby fangs away before you piss me off”
  • Eric – “I don’t speak techie”
  • Lafayette – “One fine ass motherfucker with new eyelashes”
  • Lafayette – “I ain’t Gmail for dead bitches – send your own Goddamn messages”
  • Eric – “We’d better get back to slaughtering people in the name of God”
  • Lafayette – “Dead folk – why you gotta be so cryptic”
  • Russell – “Did you think my blood was free … you silly silly dog!”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 01.37 – True Blood Terror (Video)
  • 01.45 – True Trivia : Other Supes
  • 01.51 – True Trivia : Other Supes
  • 01.56 – True Trivia : Other Supes
  • 05.14 – I Ain’t Whoopi In ‘Ghost’
  • 07.51 – A Brighter Future (Video)
  • 09.24 – A Real Pain (Video)
  • 09.34 – The Last Ghost Lady
  • 12.42 – Boundaries (Video)
  • 15.10 – Second Look : Jason’s Frame
  • 18.08 – Keep America Human (Video)
  • 19.28 – Now Playing : First One In The Car performed by The Wallflowers
  • 21.45 – Pack Rules
  • 22.10 – Now Playing : Ain’t Life Hell performed by Hank Cochran and Willie Nelson
  • 25.05 – What’s With The Pigs?
  • 25.44 – Shifting Pros and Cons : Fly On The Wall
  • 27.16 – What’s With The Pigs?
  • 28.13 – Actor Pigs (Video)
  • 31.24 – Eau De Sweetie
  • 32.09  Dragon Dressing
  • 33.28 – Second Look – Square Dancin’ Chic
  • 35.04 – Teacher’s Pet
  • 37.29 – Relive : Bar Brawls
  • 39.47 – Born Again (Vide0)
  • 42.36 – Diva Pig (Video)
  • 43.10 – Shifting Pros and Cons : Always Naked
  • 44.55 – Carrying A Torch (Video)
  • 45.10 – Right At Home (Video)
  • 46.57 – Now Playing : Acrobatica performed by Losers
  • 47.44 – New Sheriff In Town
  • 49.47 – Duelin’ ‘Dos
  • 52.02 – Now Playing : Walk To Georgia performed by Grant Langston
  • 52.31 – True Trivia: Alcide’s Dad
  • 52.36 – True Trivia: Alcide’s Dad
  • 52.41 – True Trivia : Alcide’s Dad
  • 55.42 – Now Playing : Everybody Wants To Rule The World performed by Care Bears On Fire
  • 55.59 – End Of An Era (Video)

True Blood Season 5 Ep 8 Somebody I Used To Know Synopsis / Review V””V

Wow fellow True Blood fans, can you believe we are episode 8 already?  That means this season is 2/3 of the way OVER already.  These weeks are just flying past. Little note here for those that may be interested … this episode was directed by Stephen Moyer, the first time a True Blood cast member has picked up the directing reigns for an episode. Wonder if we will see more of them give it a try in the future.  For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet.  I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch so I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

So at the end of last week we had the vampires on their rampage and Eric getting a visit from Godric telling him everything is wrong.  Really Godric could you PLEASE just for once remember that you used to love all the carnage and go with that …. just for one episode … Oh that would be awesome!! But alas Alan Ball has other plans and it would seem that Eric is destined to be the voice of reason *sigh* but more on that later. 

This week actually picked up with Sam confronting the attacker at the hospital as Andy takes him into custody but not before the redneck tells Sam that they are everywhere.  Luna is having a total meltdown ,not coping at all and decides the best thing would be for them to go hunting the rednecks and see how they like it.  Personally I am with Luna here but Sam convinces her that he is going to the station and she should just rest while Deputy Kevin sits outside the door.  Hmmmmmm not convinced he would be a lot of good in the face of a real attack but there you go.  Luna is so disgusted by this idea that her meltdown turns into skinwalking and voila … we have Luna in a Sam Suit.   Oh much as I am not a shifter girl you KNOW this is going to be good 😀  Shifters I may not care for but Sam Trammell is one hell of an actor!

Luna tries repeatedly to just “shift” back but that isn’t working so she leaves, complete in Sam suit, much to the surprise and confusion of poor Kevin who is, it has to be said, definitely the worst guard ever as he just sits there are lets her/him wander off without checking the room despite the fact that he saw the real Sam leave earlier. He really is useless!

Over at the Authority headquarters (are they still really the Authority with their new agenda?) the vampires are returning from their night on the town and are still all high as kites, except poor Eric who just seems to be at that confused part after being out of it.  They tumble out of the elevator, mouths all bloody, worshiping the knowledge that they have seen, or so they believe, the blood goddess Lilith. All it all it looks like a messed up Mardi Gras celebration complete with all the beads and I have to confess it looks like fun!!

And so they sit around and discuss the new plan which seems to be generally Mainstreaming is out and feeding on humans is in.  They even send Steve out to procure a few dozen humans to have on hand for snacks including a baby for Nigel, because apparently Lilith wants him to eat a baby.  Eric at this point decides he has had enough fun for one night and leaves trying to get Bill to come with him but Bill declines. I wish that Eric was the one that was more on board with this new regime.  Perhaps Alan Ball is trying to get the true vampire fans to like him a little better although by setting Eric up to almost be a hero that may backfire.  I adore Eric but would love to see him embracing his true vampyric nature.  Someone needs to find spirit Godric and tell him to stop interfering!

Bill does show a brief moment of wavering when Salome invites him in for a late night snack which turns out to be the mother of a 4 month old tied to the bed.  We get a little flashback to when Bill’s daughter was dying and he didn’t turn her and that seems to be the final straw that breaks the camel’s back and feed on the young mother he does … and he enjoys it.

Back in Bon Temps Sookie is still trying to dump all her fairy light and manages to zap Jason (in the head so no damage done).  Jason convinces her that she doesn’t really want to be like everyone else and that he would give anything to be special.  Jason has really matured so much over the last few seasons but it is great to see he still comes up with the funniest lines in the show.

At Fangtasia Jessica is looking amazing and dancing away apparently trying to copy one of the girls on the poles. Perhaps she is after a new job?  Anyway as she is dancing what appears to be a fangbanger comes up to dance with her and after telling Jess that his blood tastes like a milkshake (what kind of milkshakes has HE been drinking one would like to know), the leave together with Jess having a very smug expression on her face. She certainly seem to be enjoying her new freedom.

Next up we have the moments I am sure all your furverts have been waiting for.  We get to see some naked Alcide action (although personally this is something I could definitely do without).  He is busy getting hot and heavy with Rikki (the female werewolf who is to be his second in the packmaster contest) and I suppose the whole point of this is supposed to show that werewolves like it rough … ish …. Well I don’t know.  Yes it was mildly more entertaining than having to watch Alcide and Debbie but give me a vampire anyday….and in the middle of it to have a whole “girlfriend” discussion …. SAD!

At redneck central, also known as some weird little shack out in the middle of nowhere, we find out where Hoyt was heading off to last week with his new little hate group buddies. He was being taken to get his surprise, which unsurprisingly, was a very pathetic looking Jessica, who found out the hard way that even if you are a vampire, going home with a complete stranger is probably not a good idea, as she has ended up bloody and chained with silver, her beautiful clothes ripped, and her cheeks stained with blood tears.  Poor Hoyt is obviously shocked, even more so when he realises that the plan is for him to kill her, or rather get rid of her because “she is already dead!” Even better they decide that they are going to lock Hoyt in there with her until he decides to do it.  Now obviously none of them have watched any movies EVER because we all know that when you say things like that nothing ever goes the way you want it to! I know it, you know it, but these idiots are obviously just too stupid to know it.

Sookie and Jason have decided to pay another visit to the fae nightclub to discover if there is anything they can do to learn the identity of the vampire that killed their parents.  Claude originally was saying that the fae don’t get involved with such maters but then one of the sisters opens her mouth to say there may be a way and we get to learn that Alan Ball has invented yet another fairy gift.  Hmmmm do you think they sit around saying … I am not sure what we can do about this problem … I know let’s just give the Fae another ability??   In this case the ability is that they can go back into people’s memories of a certain time at the place it happened so it is a field trip to the bridge and what looks like a casting circle that witches would use with everyone together holding hands to “share energy”.  Hmmmmm Sookie after what happened last time you were involved in these kind of circles you would really think that you would know better.

Sookie goes back into her mother’s memories but at some point during the flashback things change and she suddenly finds herself seeing things through the eyes of the attacking vampire rather than through her mothers.  Oh you know this is not going to be good.  Whilst we don’t get to see the actual vampire’s face we do see Claudine and she calls a name “Warlow” (?sp) just before she blasts him with her fairy light but not before he has managed to kill both of Sookie’s parents.  Now this blast actually knocks Sookie out of the circle (see I told you this circle idea was not a good one) and the fairies are saying that she shouldn’t have been able to link with a vampire.  So what does this mean?  Is it a side effect maybe of all the vampire blood she has consumed / been transfused with over the last couple of years?  Is it some weird quirk in her abilities that just happens to be there? Maybe that is why she seems to be always attracted to vampires.  Who knows.  knowing my luck Alan Ball will deem this fit to be another mystery than hangs forever unanswered and is just one of those things that is. Oh and Albert Einstein was a halfling (just like Sookie) .. Hmmm OK then!

Little sidebar here for book reader ….. Does anyone else think there may be a connection between the name Warlow and the Waldo in the book that was Queen Sophie Ann’s vampire that killed Hadley?  Could they be setting it up that QSA was involved all along? After all we know that she has sent Bill to do some spying and it seems to be a rather large coincidence that Claudine was already involved with the protection?  Just things that are running through my mind right now so thought I would share them .  I guess we will find out, or not, as things unfold.

At the redneck hideaway, left alone with Jessica, poor Hoyt just doesn’t know what to do.  It is obvious that he still loves her but she hurt him so badly.  Eventually we get a flash to the other room where one of the Milkshake redneck is waiting (and all alone … wonder where the other redneck losers went) and we hear a gunshot, which causes him to rush in and ask Hoyt if he did it, only to have Jessica spring from behind the door and break his neck. Good for Jessica.  Not so good for Jessica is it turns out that so much time has passed it is now the middle of the day and no way for her to leave and Hoyt heads off promising to come back with help.

Also out on the road is poor  Lafayette is heading home after his nasty adventure last week and his mouth looks so sore.  (Hmmmm anyone else ever wonder what happened to the awesome car that Eric gave him … did I miss something somewhere?) During his drive he find Jesus’ little medical kit along with his nametag, and inside the little kit is a vial of vampire blood so Lafayette is able to heal.  Even nicer is that as he heals Jesus appears in the car next to him and they are able to have a little moment together and whatever that moment was by the time Lafayette gets home he has his mojo back and then some.  It was so great to see him throwing out zingers like he used to.  Of course his visitors Arlene and Holly don’t seem so impressed.  They have come to ask him to perform a fake séance to convince Terry that the woman from Iraq has forgiven him and called off the curse.  Lafayette lets them know that his days of helping are OVER … unless they want to pay $300 which Arlene and Holly look none too impressed with and Lala closes the door.  Hilarious!!!

At the police station Andy is interrogating his suspect (With Sam standing right there… hmmmm yes no protocol in the world of Bon Temps apparently) and the idiot has decided that he isn’t going to rat out his friends.  Sam convinces Andy to leave them alone for a minute so that he can use some of his “techniques” to try and get answers.  Andy agrees and when he leaves Sam starts to get naked and then changes into a snake!! Awesome!! Oh and he get’s the information they need and discover that Jessica is in trouble.

At the front desk, while Andy is getting his coffee, in walks ….. SAM!!! Well obviously not Sam but Luna in her Sam suit.  Poor Andy! He just doesn’t know what to do.  But I have to pause here to give credit to Sam (The actor).  What an AMAZING job he does playing Luna playing him!! Flashbacks to him as Tommy playing him and the awesome job he did there but having 2 Sam’s in the same room for several scenes?? Genius!!! Kudos to the whole team for that one! And off they go, 2 Sams and an Andy to rescue Jessica!

When they get there they find that she is unharmed and just sitting with the dead milkshake guy (Reggie) on the floor and confused as hell about why there are 2 Sams and no Hoyt as Hoyt was supposed to be the one sending them to get help.  Sam (the Luna one) sniffs around and discovers that a woman has been there recently and who he describes sounds a little like Maxine apart from the smoking part but while they are working this out Luna Sam gets hit with the first of the bad side effects from the skinwalking.  Now we all remember I am sure what happened to Tommy but what isn’t clear is what the finite rules for skinwalking are.  All we know is that after you run a high fever and vomit blood. Oh and really what does it matter because Alan Ball isn’t really good at sticking to rules anyway.  Whatever the case Luna is not looking too good.

They head home and we get a very tender scene with Luna Sam lying on Sam Sam’s lap and Sam Sam trying to convince her that she isn’t going to die.  She shifts back to herself and seems for a second as if she will be alright but then the pain hits and she starts vomiting blood.  Guess we will have to wait until next week to find out if she is going to make it or not.

As night falls in full effect we head to Fangtasia and get to see the very annoying Tracy (From Tracy’s Togs) annoying Tara at the bar.  Turns out they used to go to school together and Tracy seems to have made it her life goal to just be as annoying and racist as hell (when she finds out Tara is a vampire she congratulates her on now being a member of 2 minorities).  She order s a drink and tells Tara she has given her the wrong one and makes a whole string of snide remarks all of which we see Pam (who looks STUNNING) listening in to.  As Tara is about to get well all Tara like with Tracy Pam rushes over and apparently tells Tara off and apologizes to Tracy but don’t worry, Pam has a plan.  Later we have Pam taking Tara downstairs for a little chat and we find that whilst in the bar Pam appeared to be siding with Tracy it was in fact all a front and Tracy is now a nice little blood whore, all chained up to the spinning contraption in the Fangtasia basement that hasn’t been seen being used for a while.  With a nice little glamour to turn Tracy into a completely willing Tara blood slave Pam’s work is done.  Did I mention I LOVE her??

Night fall apparently is also the time for the fight for Packmaster only JD has decided that they aren’t going to fight each other, or chase down an animal.  Instead he has kidnapped a local track star from the University and whichever of them catches and kills him first will be the new packmaster.  Well we all know Alcide won’t stand for that and so instead he steps down saying that he would rather forfeit than kill that kid.  Sadly JD has decided he is still going to hunt the boy down just because he can.  Lots more growling from Alcide and JD and then they both take off running into the woods after the poor scared track kid. JD gets there first but it is quickly Alcide to the rescue and the kid escapes safely.  The same cannot be said for Alcide though as JD beats the hell out of him and his life is only saved by Martha turning up and begging for it explaining that this is not for the best for the pack.  For whatever reason JD somehow agrees and all the wolves head off to celebrate leaving Martha and Rikki alone with the beat up Alcide.

Obviously at some point Arlene and Holly have decided that Lafayette’s time is worth the money, (and well let’s be honest here it isn’t like they have a whole lot of options open to them) because we get to see the séance complete with Terry and Patrick in attendance (tricked into attendance by being told that there was a fire).  The idea of just putting on a good show soon falls flat when Lafayette actually makes contact with the spirit in question and that spirit is not happy, and has no intention at all of forgiveness.  She does come up with an alternate plan though and that is that Terry will be left alone if he kills Patrick or Patrick can kill Terry.  Patrick obviously realises that things aren’t looking too good for him and he just takes off running!

Still trying to get home we see Hoyt on a road in the middle of nowhere and when a truck pulls up he says he is glad to see a friendly face, but then said face (we don’t know who but I am guessing one of his stupid vamp hating buddies) pulls a gun on him so we know he is in trouble.

Also in trouble (but somewhat of her own making) is Sookie who is drying her hair when she gets a not too friendly visit from the vampire (who seems to be masquerading as Freddie Krueger in his spare time).  The vampire appears as a spirit like face out of thing air and lets her know that he is coming for her.  Well that isn’t going to be anything good! I am guessing he doesn’t want to go out for dinner!

With night also comes more planning at Vampire headquarters.  Eric is trying to fulfil Godric’s wishes and get through to Nora but Nora is way too far gone.  She is convinced that they are on the path of Lilith and that Godric was mad at the end.  Now I was hoping with those two together might end up with a little more episode one type action but no such luck.  Poor Eric looks so sad at what Nora says *sigh* … I really wish he was more on board with the whole blood lust thing.

And to finish the episode we have a meeting of the remaining vamps who are working out the best way to squash the mainstreamers.  Russell is more interested in pursuing Steve than paying attention to the meeting much to Salome’s annoyance.  Russell is hilarious! He is really only interested in what he wants to do.  Eric seems to have decided on the keep your friends close but your enemies closer kind of role (possibly because they would just kill him otherwise although I don’t really understand why they haven’t already at this point … not that I am complaining) and is sitting in on the meeting when Bill comes up with the plan to destroy all the Tru Blood factories (apparently there are only 5) and that will force the mainstreamers to revert to their vampyric ways.  All the vampires at the table are thrilled by this so-called genius idea but Eric is not.  Will be interesting to see how this ends up playing out.

Overall not a bad episode.  I love the idea of the vampire going wild and treating all the humans as food but am not loving the fact that Bill is being portrayed as more vampire than Eric.  I suppose it fits in with him being weak and a sheep.  I am still bored with the whole wolf story but have to say that the shifter story this week with the skinwalking I did find entertaining and very well shot.

I am still loving Russell, the bad boy that he is and I am adoring the way that Pam is being portrayed.  The whole Terry thing that was annoying me was less annoying this week only because of how things with Lafayette were handled.  I love seeing Lala like this and hope that he remains this way for the rest of the season at least!

I would like to say I was curious about the whole new Sookie / vampire connection but honestly I am over the whole fae thing.  Perhaps the vampire connection will provide some interest but I am not holding my breath.

With only 4 episodes left I have the feeling that yet again we are going to be left with more questions than answers and I have to wonder if that is because Alan Ball himself hasn’t even worked out where he actually wants this to go ……………

V””V

Memorable Lines From Somebody I Used To Know

  • Jason – “I’m fine …. you got me in the head”
  • Russell – “God has the most beautiful tits I have ever seen”
  • Russell – I have never been called devout. But watching Lilith shoot out of a blood pool while I sucked down a bride to the dulcet strains of ‘You Light Up My Life,’ well, praise Lilith! Praise Jesus! Praise Moses’ cock! I am born again!”
  • Andy – “I know you got friends ….. dipshits like you grow in bunches”
  • Andy – “I want names, I want addresses, and if I don’t get them, my tazer’s gonna ask your nuts to the big dance.”
  • Jessica – “I wanted to love you, I even prayed for it to come back, but it just didn’t”
  • Lafayette – “Hooker, I ain’t in the helping business no more, I’m in the ‘Fuck off while I smoke a blunt’ business, and business is about to pick way the fuck up.”
  • Jason – ” I don’t give a twirly fuck about your elders”
  • Tracy – “Now you are a member of 2 minorities”
  • Pam – ” I apologize .. Tara is new .. and stupid”
  • Pam – “You don’t know me that well …. My mad face and my happy face are the same.”
  • Eric – “I have loved you for almost 600 years”
  • Lafayette – “Terry Baby You Gots To Kill Patrick”

 

HBO Go – Extras

  • 00.04 – A ‘True Blood’ First
  • 02.13 – Shifter Temper (Video)
  • 02.23 – Skinwalking 101
  • 02.43 – Skinwalking 101
  • 03.03 – Skinwalking 101
  • 04.45 – Best Night Ever (Video)
  • 07.35 – Becoming Luna (Video)
  • 07.53 – Second Look : Redneck Vogue
  • 07.59 – Jessica’s Vlog : What To Do
  • 08.06 – Now Playing : Beneath Contempt performed by Flesh Field
  • 09.40 – Russell Edgington : Role Model (Video)
  • 10.56 – A Dangerous Drug (Video)
  • 11.02 – Now Playing : Smokestack Lightening performed by Howlin’ Wolf
  • 12.47 – The Real Salome (Video)
  • 16.34 – The Greatest Gift (Video)
  • 19.21 – Hoyt’s Anger (Video)
  • 20.36 – Lafayette’s Ride
  • 22.19 – True Story : Second Coming
  • 23.54 – True Secret : Cobra Improv
  • 24.44 – Double Trouble
  • 27.45 – You Fucked My Best Friend
  • 28.58 – Doomed From The Start (Video)
  • 29.17 – Relive : Bad Breakups from Bon Temps
  • 32.19 – First Draft : Vampire Sookie
  • 33.06 – Claude-who?
  • 33.53 – Now Playing : Die Slow performed by Health
  • 34.04 – What’s She Doing?
  • 36.02 – Racist White Trash (Video)
  • 36.19 – True Story : Werewolf Chic
  • 40.44 – The Original Godric
  • 42.51 – True Secret : Seeing Double
  • 44.48 – Vamp Vindication (Video)
  • 47.37 – Eternal Optimist (Video)
  • 48.40 – Witches vs Mediums
  • 51.49 – My Way Or The Highway (Video)
  • 52.40 – Who ARE You? (Video)

True Blood Season 5 Ep 7 In The Beginning Synopsis / Review V””V

Greetings and Salutations fellow True Blood fans!!  So here we are at Episode 7 … over halfway done already *Sob*.  Now this week’s synopsis will be a little different mainly because I feel like writing it that way :D. That and I had to go back and watch the whole season again to make sure I had all the Lilith stuff straight in my head direct from the show and not mixed in with my own research on the subject.   I also felt that most of the other occurrences in this week’s show were almost all filler and thus shall be treated as such … with all of that summarized at the beginning and then all the good vampy stuff after that.  Sound good? Well if not you know how to leave the page! 

 (Am leaving this here ….. because the information is the same … just the layout is a little different this week ….For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet.  I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

Right then here we go.  Just so that everyone isn’t wondering, at the beginning we find out that I was wrong and Roman has in fact met the True Death at the end of Russell’s stake and is now just a pile of GOO!  Nothing in that blood he had drunk did anything to help him and it was all just Alan Ball and extra effects because it was a dramatic moment.  Well OK then ….. Now that the cliffhanger is dealt with the rest of the vampy goodness will be at the end! So onto the rest of the happenings …..

Back in the fairy club Sookie was last seen getting zapped by a bunch of other fairies. Well it turns out they weren’t trying to hurt her but when we see her she is unconscious and they are testing her “luminescence” with Jason hovering around worrying about everything.  Turns out that because Sookie is only half fae her magic is finite and if she keeps using it she will lose all her powers altogether.  Info gathered she leaves and the rest of the episode about her is her getting advice (mainly from Sam) about whether she would be better off being “normal”.  Lots of debate and self searching about whether being different is a good or a bad thing and Sookie ends up at the end of the episode shooting her light rays into the sky like a random display of fireworks trying to get all of the “light” gone from inside her.  Hmmmmm still amazes me how much control she suddenly has over this.  What happened to it only working when she was in danger.  Whatever … I am over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina anyway!!!

Jason was visiting Jessica and gets irritated that she has been drinking a human and as he storms out of her house (not before she bites him and then him shooting Jessica in the head … .oh don’t worry she is fine … just a little angry) when he sees the “Fireworks” and is now heading over to stop her so we will see how that works out.  Wonder how they will get her recharged now the portals are closed to Fae … actually that was the first time I had wondered that because as I said … BORED!!!

Talking of bored we also have the whole “who is shooting the shifter” saga going on.  Sam is doing his “shifter” thing, rolling around on the floor and smelling stuff while Deputy Jones watches on wondering what the hell he is doing.  Sam manages to sniff out the box of masks that the shooters have been using confirming what we already knew that they were working with the guy from the Stake House.  The same guys that are currently hanging out with Hoyt (not as I suspected last week his friends from earlier in the season from the bar) and who have a nice little hate group going on that has a leader called Dragon that we are yet to meet.  Oh and Hoyt seems to have had no side effects from almost dying and getting soaked in vamp blood other than he is happy on board the hate train.  Whatever! He may change his mind when he finds out what the surprise for him is … not that we get to see this week but I am guessing it is going to be something to do with Jessica but not with all the guys …. because Sam just caught one of them working at the hospital.  Oops.  Maybe they should do a bit more research about shifters before they try to kill a couple and then turn up to work where they are being treated!! Stupid!!! Guess he will have to miss out on the whole surprise thing after all.

Oh and Andy takes a visit to go and see the ex Sheriff Bud Dearborn who is not interested in hearing anything that Andy says, or anything to do with police work.  He is busy having an affair and wants to just get in the hot tub.  Don’t really see the point of this at all so unless they are going to end up dead in the hot tub and it is being set up for that … I have no words.

Over with the wolves, Alcide is training for his Alpha fight with the V Addicted JD but his training seems to be more about flirting with his female second.  Ugh for a moment there I thought we were going to have to watch werewolf sex but we were saved by Martha walking in.  She refuses to believe that JD is on V but later in the show catches him trying to give it to Emma so now I am guessing she is going to be all about Alcide.  I will give her this … Martha certainly loves her granddaughter and really does seem to want what is best for her.  Ok enough about the wolves.  (Told you there was a lot of filler for this episode!)

Arlene is fussing over Terry being gone and is spending her work time watching their wedding video.  She is joined by Holly who reminds her that lots of things are not all they seem and that with all the things they have seen there is no reason to not believe in the iFrit that Terry is talking about. Meanwhile Terry and Patrick are out freezing in a field somewhere trying to avoid the whole iFrit thing which appears just to taunt them and then vanishes.  That is all  Terry needs and decides to shoot himself to be done with it. *Yawn*.  Patrick stops him saying that the kids wouldn’t want him to go out like that .  The only good thing about this video was that it was pretty funny and we got to see Jesus awwwwwww.

Talking of Jesus, Lafayette has gone to find the crazy grandpa Brujo  and finds himself tied up and his lips sewn up and about to become a sacrifice to give the magic back to crazy grandpa’s unborn child.  Luckily for Lafayette the unborn mother’s child is not too impressed by this whole idea and goes crazy stabbing crazy grandpa over and over until he is way past dead. She then calmly uses the knife to unpick the stitches holding Lala’s mouth closed … pick pick pick … well OK then!

Which reminds me, there is crazy up at Fangtasia and not in the normal way.  Tara is dancing on a pole much to Pam’s amusement (Pam with AWESOME hair this week can I add …. makes me want to go get the crimpers out!  Oh wait I can do one better …. CHECK OUT THIS HAIR lol)

But anyway the crazy involved was in fact Tara’s mother Lettie Mae who has come to let her daughter know what an embarrassment she is to her.  You have to be kidding right?  Well apparently not. Apparently Tara is now dead to her (big loss) but Tara lets her know that she will be seeing her again.  Poor Tara is not quite as tough as she makes out though as we see her confide to Pam in the office that it has made her sad and she rushes to Pam for a hug.  Pam is not quite sure how to deal with this so after a quick pat on the back tells her to get back on the pole.  Oh I love Pam!!!!

Now to the part that everyone has been waiting for. What is going on with the vampires? Well with Roman getting staked the remaining Authority members not clued in manage to sound the alarm and all hell breaks loose with vamps in special suits running around in near darkness showing us glimpses through their night vision.  Russell is on the attack but not killing anyone yet (although we do discover that he has secured Eric high up on a column with a silver bar).  They eventually snag Russell in a silver net but I get the feeling he almost let himself get caught.  It is obvious by now that there is a much bigger plan in place.

We see Eric and Bill back in the cells and they work out that obviously Russell wasn’t silvered but they are taking their time working out who it was.  First they try to blame Nora but work out she was incarcerated while Russell was being questioned, then they blame Molly because the iStake didn’t work but she is trying to work out why (and the fact that she was in a cell too should have been a big clue!) but it soon clicks into place when they are called up to see Nora and Salome, and a very happy Russell who is suddenly about forgive and move on.  Eric on the other hand is not moving on at all.  He is mad at Nora, mad at Russell, just plain mad in fact!

It becomes clear that as suspected Salome was behind Russell escaping but not as I suspected because she was his child.  It was all down to her following Eric and Bill the night they buried him.  Hmmm think my theory would have been better but Alan Ball hasn’t listened to me yet so it is unsurprising that he hasn’t started now.  It was all a big plan to get rid of Roman and Salome and Nora are convinced that this all comes from Lilith.  Russell just seems happy to go along with it but then we all know he is more than a little bit crazy and we love him for it.  Bill and Eric are not so convinced (really I expected Bill to jump right on that bandwagon) but for whatever reason this doesn’t get them killed but instead gets them an invitation to a special ceremony the next night.

This special ceremony turns out to be a lecture from Salome about how although the book says it is wrong to stake a guardian Lilith would forgive Russell because this guardian had turned his back on what was right.  Russell then jumps up to say how he takes back all the bad things he has said about Lilith and the religion (and let’s face it over the last couple of episodes that has been rather a lot) and he now loves and praises Lilith. The plan is that everyone will drink from the little vial of blood the Authority has been guarding for all these years which is supposedly the original blood of Lilith (although Roman was convinced it was symbolic).  Dieter is not on board with this calling it blasphemy and quickly earning himself a staking from Russell at which point no-one else seems to have any other objections.  As Eric tells Bill … it is vampire blood and we are vampires … it is not going to do anything……. Oh how wrong he was!!!!

The next thing we see is the crowd of vamps (which consists of Salome, Nora, Russell, Bill, Eric, Rosalyn, Kibwe, Nigel the baby eater, and Steve Newlin) tripping out and making their way down Main Street in New Orleans in what is possibly one of my favorite scenes.  The cast looks amazing and they are totally embracing their inner vamp, threatening a guy who makes the mistake of beeping his horn at them and letting him know that he is NOTHING!!!  Oh such fun!!!  This is the True Blood I want to watch!!!

The motley crew head into a bar where there is a karaoke style celebration going on.  Yes I know karaoke and celebration shouldn’t really be in the same sentence but whatever, things definitely improve when Russell gets up on stage to sing with her.  Someone in the crowd suddenly realizes who he is and that is all it takes for the chaos to begin. All the vamps zoom in and start killing everyone at the party!  Oh this is good!! Vampires finally being vampires but now here is where it all starts to get a little weird and I had to go back and watch the whole season to make sure I got all of this right before I started writing out my thoughts about it all.

So the vamps are all killing and feeding and there is blood everywhere and we get to see all the vamps suddenly look up as a single drop falls (apparently from nowhere) to the ground which ripples and forms a huge puddle of blood from which emerges a naked woman who can only be Lilith. In episode 3 they say “Lilith will rise from the blood” and I guess they meant this literally.  It would appear that the Sanguinista movement was in fact correct with their thoughts about what Lilith would want because she is apparently controlling all of the vampires in this feeding frenzy as she strolls through the bar in a way very reminiscent to me of Akasha in Queen Of The Damned.  All the vampires seem to be completely under her spell (love the look on Russell’s face as he obviously gladly submits to her “suggestion” but then suddenly Eric  is visited by Godric.  Maybe because Eric doesn’t believe in what he is doing, or maybe Godric really is still around in spirit from trying to guide him to make the right choices but either way we see Godric telling Eric this is wrong and that he has to help his sister because Nora thinks what she is doing is right. Now the interesting thing here for me was when Eric looks up again it seems that he can no longer see Lilith.  So is her manifestation actually there as we were first to believe, or is she in fact a hallucination from whatever that blood did.

Fascinating stuff!  I am not really sure where Alan Ball is going with all of this stuff but I for one am on board with the whole Sanguinista movement.  As for the rest of the storyline I am bored with them all already. Not really sure if even the writers know what their opinion is on the whole Lilith Deal.  Roman throughout his time did a politician style job of muddying the lines and then you have the extremists (Nora and Salome) and those that seem to be along for the ride because either it suits them (Russell) or perhaps they are just too weak and go where the power is (Rosalyn and Steve).  Over all I find that yet again they are trying to cram too many storylines in without giving the time that any of them deserve, not that I would like to see some of the other lines expanded, quite the opposite, I would like to do away with them all together.  Take us back to the early seasons where there were just a couple of things going on and go into them in-depth.  That would make for  a great deal of happy fans if you ask me!!!

V””V

Memorable Lines From In The Beginning

  • Eric – “The View From Up Here Is Spectacular!”
  • Jay-Bob – “Hate groups is about more than hate”
  • Lafayette – “I is what I is”
  • Alcide – “Your son doesn’t have a grave because you all ate him.”
  • Luna – “I’m a raving lunatic bitch!”
  • Jessica – “Yeah and I suppose you know every cow you’ve ever eaten.”
  • Steve – “I am like a tree in the wind, I am just so happy to be included.”
  • Eric – “Your heartbeat sounds like shit and your blood smells even worse.”
  • Russell – “Awwwww you should worry about you!”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 01.11 – Knock-Down, Drag-Out (Video)
  • 01.19 – Russell’s Insanity
  • 01.39 – Russell’s Insanity
  • 01.59 – Russell’s Insanity
  • 04.34 – Relive : Abnormal Life
  • 05.33 – TMI, Coroner Spencer
  • 07.19 – Hater Hideaway
  • 08.52 – Under Her Spell
  • 09.34 – Jessica’s Vlog : Confessions Of A Vampslut (Video)
  • 11.28 – A Deadly Seduction
  • 13.40 – Vampire Bling
  • 15.01 – Second Look : Alcide’s Pecs
  • 17.40 – True Secret : Were-pup Acting Notes
  • 20.41 – Destination Wedding
  • 22.08 – Fifth Times A Charm (Video)
  • 24.11 – True Trivia : Early Retirement
  • 24.16 – True Trivia : Early Retirement
  • 27.46 – Job Perks (Video)
  • 30,17 – One Of them (Video)
  • 30.36 – Evolution Of A Friendship (Video)
  • 30.41 – Now Playing : Nobody Nowhere performed by The Jezabels.
  • 33.30 – Vamp Religion (Video)
  • 35.21 – True Score : Body Count
  • 35.42 – Who Is Lilith (Video)
  • 36.19 – Tripping In New Orleans (Video)
  • 37.35 – Tweet All About It (Video)
  • 38.34 – Letting Go Of Lettie Mae (Video)
  • 38.43 – Mommy Track
  • 41.29 – True Score : Body Count
  • 45.09 – Now Playing : You Light Up My Life performed by Willie Aron and Joey Peters
  • 46.32 – True Score : Body Count
  • 48.59 – A Gun To Your Head (Video)
  • 49.14 – Emotional Consequences (Video)
  • 52.26 – Magic Powers (Video)
  • 53.49 – True Score : Body Count
  • 56.08 – Now Playing : In The Beginning performed by K’Naan