True Blood Season 7 Ep 10 – Finale – “Thank You ” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are. The end of the end …. the final episode ever.  So sad 😦 and things aren’t going to get any better because let me warn you right now I WAS NOT AMUSED!!!!!!! So let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season… ummmmm you have pretty much missed it all)…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So here we are …… the time to say goodbye.  Now things actually don’t start off too badly!  The Yakuza are not secretly waiting at Sookie’s house after all and she just looks depressed …. well because she does.  I guess I didn’t allow for the idea that the directors would realize that they would have to drive from Shreveport as usually they just make this stuff up to suit themselves… timing be damned.   Instead we have Bill reminiscing about him first calling on her blah blah blah.  Sookie quite rightly calls him out on everything and he tries to explain that all he wants is for her to live a normal life …. free of vampires …. and even better he has a plan!   He wants her to use her last fairy light to perform “The Ultimate Kindness”  because he loves her too much to ever let her go otherwise and he worries that vampires will always be hunting her. Sookie doesn’t look impressed and tells him to go but we can all see she is thinking about it.  **Cue opening credits …. for the final time ….. sad 😥 **

Now by far the best part of this whole finale!   This was the moment that my hopes were raised and I thought maybe …. just maybe the team might be able to pull it together.  Oh how wrong I was but these scenes were great! 

We get to see Mr Gus’s crazy team of Yakuza racing in their sports car towards Sookie’s house and in the meantime Mr Gus is getting drunk at the bar in Fangtasia.  In the basement Pam and Eric are hovering around Sarah and Eric announces he is going to let her escape through the tunnels.  Eric has a plan and it is a GOOD one!  Obviously completely over all his Hep V Crises and raring to go he has decided that the best plan is to kill Mr Gus and all his associates and to steal the New Blood formula and keep it for themselves! YES!! Great plan Eric … I LOVE it!  So Eric has Pam give Sarah some of her blood so they can always find her and glamours her into escaping and going into hiding and trusting no one.  Off she scampers and then our dynamic duo summon Mr Gus down to the basement complete with guards and as you can imagine he is none to amused to find his little money maker is gone.  Awwwww so sad! Pam and Eric quickly kill the guards (so easily in fact it makes you wonder what the hell they have been waiting for) and Mr Gus tries to make a run for it.  Eric can’t even be bothered to chase him because “humans are slow” and sends a fireball to turn Mr Gus into one very crispy critter  ….. bye bye Mr Gus.  You and your annoying accent won’t be missed at all!!!

Of course there are still the Yakuza group heading to deal with Sookie but fear not.  Eric swoops on over and dispatches them with Sookie just hearing a slight noise out the window.  Best scene of the night shows us Eric driving the sports car, crazy music blaring, dancing along with a pile of Yakuza bodies in the back seat!! LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!! Now I am not normally one for GIFS in my reviews but Click HERE to see it (Courtesy of Eric Northman Tumblr) because it was THE BEST scene of the entire episode :D.

Sadly that is it for the main episode with Eric.  We do get to see a little clip with Sarah begging Pam to turn her into a vampire to which Pam is highly amused and lets her know it is NEVER going to happen and we also find out that Sarah learned a lot from reading Bill’s book but Pam only skimmed the parts to read about her.  I LOVE Pam!!  What this finale needed was much more Pam and Eric and much less of everything else.  Sadly though that is all from them and then the episode just goes downhill …. fast!!!

We head over to the Compton manor where Jessica decides to come home for a final visit and she brings Hoyt with her.  After saying she will never understand she then basically does a 180 and tells Bill she will be OK and Bill summizes she will be with Hoyt and bluntly asks if they will be getting married eventually. Now they have been back together less than 24 hours at this point and we have to hear a ridiculous blurb about how Bill never got to walk his daughter down the aisle and how he never got to meet her future husband as he had been made vampire by then …. ummmmmm didn’t your daughter die as a child? No husband ever in the picture?  Whatever….. I don’t actually care at this point.  This whole thing was ridiculous. 20 minutes of this finale is wasted by a stupid wedding, totally pointless, in the daytime … and NO ONE CARES!!! UGH!!! This was torture!!!!!  Andy officiates (after a little chat with Bill about him being the heir to the Compton manor … oh continuity … the didn’t forget that Jessica can’t have the house yet and Andy agrees to rent it to Jessica and Hoyt for $1 a month basically forever), Jason is the best man, Sookie is the bridesmaid and Bill gives her away oh and Holly and Arlene are there too. WASTE OF TIME!!!!! The only “useful” thing to come out of it was that we learned Sookie could hear Bill’s thoughts showing us that this Hep V, combined with Sookie’s fairy blood was indeed making him more human.   Even begged the question (from my husband) ….. was Bill going to become human?? Was that going to be the big twist??  Personally I was thinking NOOOOOO WAY … but I have to admit .. that would have been WAY better than then ending we got stuck with.

As always when Sookie has to ponder any big decisions we get flashbacks to her childhood (Yes it was nice to see Gran again for a minute even though it was blatantly thrown in there so she could say that Sookie should never compromise herself because she is different) and then we get the discussion with Jason, who lets Sookie know he is not good at those kind of decisions but will stand by her no matter what she chooses and Sookie tells Jason she listened in Bridgette’s head and she likes him .. and he should act on that.  Subtle!!   Then eventually Sookie ends up talking to Reverend Daniels for some spiritual guidance.   Is Sookie the way she is because God wants her to be … or because he made a mistake.  UGH BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell kind of finale is this??? BORED BORED BORED!!!!! 

So the big question becomes what will Sookie do. As the end fast approaches she calls Bill and tells him she has made all the arrangements and he is to meet her in the cemetery at sundown.  We see her leave in a simple black dress, a stark contrast to her other meetings with Bill in her little white dress (that was a nice touch) and we find her waiting by Bill’s open grave.  She is surprised there is a coffin in there and when Bill arrives he explains that they used to do that as it was easier for the families.  Inside his coffin is the picture of him and his daughter (so that was the reason for that flashback before) and Bill lies down as Sookie prepares to blast him.  Wait …. NO WAY .. there is no way that she is going to kill Bill with her Fairy light and go back to being human …. and nope sure enough as she stands there for ages with the light in her hand we see the resignation cross her face and she says she can’t do it.   Knew it!  No way they would have Sookie kill Bill ….. she is going to save him .. or he will become human … right ……. WRONG!!! Sookie admits that she can’t give up being Fairy as it is a part of her but she asks him if he still wants to die and he does.  So she gabs a shovel and snaps it (hmmmmm OK … those things are MUCH harder than that to break) and creates a stake, climbs down into the coffin with him … and then with their hands both on it … plunges it in!   I CAN’T BELIEVE IT .. They actually killed off Bill …. for real this time .. no coming back as some mystical blood god ….. he is gone.   Sookie is left covered in vampire remains and we see her place the lid on the coffin and start covering it in dirt as she cries.  Wait that can’t be it …. .this is how it ends??  We see Sookie walking away from the cemetery still crying and the darkness covers the screen …. UMMMMM WHAT??? This is the end ……..

Actually that would have been a better ending!!!!  No …. as always they had to keep going.  Although at that point I was already bitching that there had been no more Pam and Eric I think I would have rather left it there.  It certainly would have been more dramatic.  Instead we are treated to 10 minutes of flash forwards.  So are you ready … here we go.

First flash forward is “about a year later” and we see a very cheesy Eric hosting an “infomercial” for New Blood complete with Pam.  They explain how although they never caught Sarah they were able to get a couple of drops of her blood from her escape through a window and synthesize it that way.  There is even a cameo from Charlaine Harris sitting behind the teleprompter.  

 

Flash Forward to 3 years after that and we get to see Pam and Eric opening the trading by ringing the bell at the NY Stock Exchange with a big poster of New Blood behind them so we are to assume that business is going very well for them

Flash forward to “The Following Thanksgiving” so I am guessing about 5 years?  And we get to see …. well pretty much everyone including a VERY pregnant Sookie.  As to who the father is … well we never get to see him.  We get a mystery pair of hands putting a turkey in a deep fryer outside in the sun and then a voice calling “Turkey is in” as Sookie potters around in the kitchen. We get a glimpse over at Jason’s house where we find a pregnant Bridgette and 3 kids already … one of those girls clearly looking older than 4 which would be the right age to fit in their stupid flash forward …… STUPID ROOKIE ERROR ….. (Side note … the song playing was actually played in Season 1 at Arlene and Rene’s engagement party)…… Back at Sookie’s we see Sam and Nicole getting out of the truck complete with one daughter (looking about 5) and another one obviously on the way (apparently they all needed to be pregnant to finish things off).

Suddenly it is night and we head over to Fangtasia where we see Eric sitting on his throne, looking bored and rather sad.  Pretty reminiscent of Season 1 Eric but with shorter hair and in complete contrast to the flash forwards already shown with his success.   We get to see that Pam is in the basement charging $100,000 a minute to bite Sarah and Pam is loving every minute of it.  Sarah on the other hand is tortured and having visions of Steve… which while visions of Steve are always amusing … it was sort of pointless. 

And then to finish we have the great big sweeping, all encompassing, show everyone happy, thanksgiving feast at Sookie’s where we get to see that Hoyt and Jessica are still together, Arlene and Keith are still together, James and Lafayette are still together, Revered Daniels and Lettie Mae,  even Jade Bodehouse has a guy and is at the feast.  LITERALLY everyone is there.  Holly, Andy and the kids … that haven’t aged … at all … not even Adelyn the fast growing fairy has age a day in the 4-5 years … ummmmm STUPID!!!! Then to top everything off we get to NOT see who Sookie is with …. except his back and a slight side view.

THE END 😦

Not the ending I wanted … not an ending I saw coming …. not an ending I am on board with ….. seriously they should have left it with Sookie covered in Bill’s blood …… overall a general let down so thank you HBO for sucking me in for 7 years and then leaving me wanting.   YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Mr Gus ?? (Does he count as main cast?)
BILL!!!! WOW they actually killed him off!! 

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie
Violet
Bill

Eric and Pam Finale

My Favorite Lines From “Thank You”

  • Sookie – “If you are feeling this nostalgic Bill I gotta ask …. What the Fuck???” 
  • Pam – “Are you just winging it or do you have a plan here”
  • Eric –  “I’ve tried trusting, i’ve tried sharing …. it’s just not fucking working for me!”
  • Eric – “Humans are slow.” 
  • Sarah – “I’m a horrible person … which is why I think I would make a kick ass vampire”
  • Gran – “There are no limits on you if you don’t put them on yourself”. 
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True Blood Season 7 Ep 9 – “Love is to Die ” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season… ummmmm you have pretty much missed it all)…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Only 2 episodes left …. EVER …..   AHHHHHHH As much as this season is continuing with the “filler episodes” (seriously you are pretty much running out of time here … LITERALLY) I am still so sad this this is ending.  At this point the only good thing is that it is pretty much all dealing with the cast we know and apart from one scene saying goodbye there are no more shifters or wolves to deal with in Bon Temps.  Awwwwww almost like the beginning …… *sigh* ……

This week was really just a whole lot of talking! For the first time I could really feel the writers were trying to “wrap things up” and that things really are ending.  Despite the fact that, and let’s be honest here, the plotlines have totally lost themselves many times over to the point where sometimes I don’t even think the writers know where to go with things …. we are all here because this show will always hold a special place in our hearts … well my hear anyway …. OK enough of that …. On with the show!!

This week starts up right where we left off last week with Bill refusing to drink the cure.  Despite Jessica and Sookie pleading and giving their best arguments Bill tells them he is choosing the True Death.  Eric seems to be the only one that even slightly understands as he stops Sookie from repeatedly slapping Bill as she demands answers and sends Bill away.  But not before Jessica can demand that he releases her.  Bill looks torn for just a moment but then says the beautiful little speech and he leaves with Eric comforting a sobbing Sookie.   Pam obviously understands how much this hurts and Jessica turns to her and sobs in her arms …. but this is Pam is still Pam and says that if she cries on the jacket she’ll have to pay for it! HA!  Wouldn’t want us thinking she was too nice now would we!  **Roll opening credits**

Slight detour after the credits with Sookie and Jessica now apparently visiting Sam’s place.  There doesn’t seem to be any reason for this other than the fact that the audience gets to find out that Sam has left with Nicole and doesn’t plan on coming back.  There are 2 notes on the table.  One for Sookie and one for Andy.  Sookie’s letter is full of the explanation and we get to see (via flashback) Sam and Nicole packing everything up and leaving.  So goodbye Sam.  Looks like you get to survive and there will be no bookish type ending (so at least we can be grateful for that!)   And thus ends the shifter / wolf input this episode.  YAY lol

Sookie and Jessica head to the bar where everyone seems to be hanging out with the justification that Arlene has seen Field of Dreams and is doing the we are going to all be here until the customers work out things are back open and fake it until we make it.  As there are no customers they are going to have their own little party (Big John is cooking, Lala and James are there,  Keith, Arlene, Holly, her boys and Adelyn, and now Sookie and Jessica oh and a mystery waitress ….. really there are still people in this town we don’t know??? Ummmm FAIL! ).   Sookie takes Andy in the back to give him his letter from Sam thinking it is going to be emotional but turns out that it just says that he resigns as mayor.  Poor Andy!! Although it was pretty funny!

There are lots of “wrapping up” moments this week.  Jessica and James sort out their differences and James goes off to be happy with Lafayette and Jessica goes off into the night (we find out why all too soon).

Everyone else settles down to eat but Sookie is separate at the bar.  After a little telepathic intervention from Adelyn, Arlene heads over and has a little heart to heart.  Sookie tells Arlene about Bill and asks how Arlene keeps starting over and Arlene basically tells her she just has to kind of make up her mind to do so and they head over to the table where everyone is sitting to eat.

Now here I though with the way the camera was panning and them calling Lafayette from the kitchen to come join them that something bad was about to happen.  Because that’s how it works right? Nice scene … setting up for crazy ….. but nope.  Apparently tonight they all just get to have a nice dinner.  See you know things are actually ending when that sort of thing happens 😦

While they are eating Bill gets an unexpected visit from Eric and yes it is another heart to heart.  This episode is absolutely overflowing with them.  Eric tries to explain that he thinks the disease talking and not really Bill.  He talks about it attacking his spirit and how when Pam had found him he was in the same place. Bill explains about his dreams and how that he can see that he is ruining her life and until he is gone she has no chance.  Something seems to register for Eric and he agrees to get Sookie to  talk to Bill so Bill can explain before he dies.

Eric goes back to Bellefleurs and finds Sookie and explains that he has spoken to Bill and she needs to talk to him and hear him out.  The way Eric looks at her when they are talking is just so lovely.  He offers to give her a lift and she points out he doesn’t have a car.  He swoops her up in his arms and they take to the sky.  Awwwwwww at this point I am almost back to wanting Eric and Sookie back together despite the fact that she most certainly DOES NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES deserve him … but he obviously loves her (although I can’t work out for the life of me why) *Sigh*.    When they land at Sookie’s the look that Eric gives her just breaks my heart (see picture) but she doesn’t seem to get it.  Or she does and she’s just ignoring it.  He tells her that her phone is ringing and it is probably Bill and then he takes off to the sky and she goes in …. it is of course Bill on the phone and he is coming there to call on her shortly. 

Over in another part of town Hoyt and Bridget are fighting because she is still mad that Hoyt doesn’t want kids.  But that isn’t the real issue for her.  The real issue is the obviously chemistry she saw between Hoyt and Jessica.  Now poor Hoyt really doesn’t remember anything from before but Bridget isn’t quite buying that and when he admits that he went to the clinic to donate blood for Bill.  Bridget just starts to forgive him when, with perfect timing, Jessica knocks at the door.  Jessica tries to explain to Bridget that Hoyt isn’t lying. That she knows him but he doesn’t know her.  Hmmmm can you imagine being a non vamp person and trying to get your head around that lol.   Bridget tells Hoyt that she is confused and doesn’t want to hear any of it but if Hoyt does he can go out there but basically not to come back….. and of course he does!

Jessica explains that Bill has released her and everything going on with him and that she felt she had no one else she could talk to because he was the first man that she every loved.   The whole scene is really sweet.  These two always made a really cute couple! 

Bridget calls Jason as he is the only person that she know’s in the whole town.  She tells him that Jessica is explaining everything and Jason rushes over in his police car with the lights and sirens blazing just in time to get punched in the face and knocked out by Hoyt.  Yep Jason guess Hoyt has been told everything.  Next thing we know Jason is in the car with Bridget and as he comes around she is telling him they are heading to the hospital. Jason rationalizes that there is nobody working there and he has had loads of concussions and will be fine so to just go to his house but he wants to make it clear that they will not be having sex tonight.   Bridget is pretty shocked and explains that there is no way that would have happened anyway but Jason knows better lol.  She doesn’t quite understand but oh she will.

When they get to the house Bridget is trying to get her flight changed to go home but is getting nowhere with the airline.  Jason asks if it is a man or a woman on the line and when he finds out it is a woman he takes the phone and turns on that classic Jason charm.  This season really has shown Jason at his best.  He has been brilliant and again manages to save the day in his own crazy way and he gets Bridget a flight back before heading into the other room to put an ice pack on his head …. and then his other head to try and convince himself he is not going to sleep with Bridget. 

Bridget comes out of the other room and says she is hungry but all they have is beer. They sit at the counter for a bit and Jason explains about his life and how Math was hard and women weren’t.  All Jason can think about are the things that Hoyt told him when he first found out about Jason and Jessica.   Jason tells her the whole story and when he finishes Bridget tells him he is wrong and that  she is going to teach him how not to have sex with a woman lol. (Yes a skill every man is just itching to learn i’m sure!)

They lay in bed (on separate sides) and the plan is to tell each other facts about each other that they don’t know.  Jason ends up admitting that he wants children and he doesn’t know if he is right to be a father.  What if he has a daughter and she meets a guy like him.  What would he do then?  Well the obvious answer is most men would freak out and ground the daughter and kill the guy ….. but apparently the right answer is … you will be fine.  Everything is already in him to be a great guy.  Well OK then *sigh* …. and nope .. no Bridget Jason action.  He even keeps his top on. 

Meanwhile Hoyt and Jessica have moved their talk inside and things are getting more intense and Jessica eventually uses her blood to heal his hand and then things get all hot and intense and we get some nice Hoyt / Jessica action.  I guess those two were meant to be together after all ❤

At Fangtasia it is time for a change of pace and Sarah is taken upstairs ….to the back office for a makeover. They are turning her back to blonde.  Pam is back in hair mode again complete with foils!! (Season 2 anyone??)  She makes a big deal about glamouring Sarah so that she won’t scream but she can still talk. Hmmmm this could be a problem or why show it?   In the meantime Pam has a nice little story to go with things about whores and how Sarah will be making them a great deal of money because they will be able to sell her out as a “cure” to the highest bidders. 

Bill is walking across the cemetery to visit Sookie and he stops at the graves of his children.  With the minutes ticking down to the end of this installment I will confess I half expected him to collapse there and then and leave us hanging until next week to find out what happens but apparently that is not to be the case as we see him arrive at the Sookies.  Sookie is inside sitting at the table but I think something is wrong.  I think the Yukuza are there.  Why you might ask ….. well wait for it ……..

Back at Fangtasia Eric walks in to find a very annoyed Ginger who is bitching that Eric didn’t tell her that he wasn’t going to die.  Eric is not in the mood to deal with her and bitches back about how he has spent all evening dealing with other people’s relationship problems and how that is so not him and so he wants to apologize to her and make it up to her the best way he can think of.  He says he is going to fuck her!  He asks where she imagines them doing it …. seriously I thought at this point it was going to change into a dream but nope .. apparently Ginger is going to get her wish and finally get some Eric action!  Sadly for Ginger she does’t seem able to take a whole lot of Eric action before collapsing into a heap on the floor leaving Eric with nothing other than messed up hair.   It’s all rather ridiculous but she seems happy and she’s waited 7 seasons for her moment so I’m glad she at least enjoyed it lol

Sadly for Eric things are about to get a whole lot worse.  He goes hunting for Pam and finds her silvered to a table in the dungeon with a nasty stake hanging perilously above her suspended by a few ropes.  The Yukuza are gradually cutting the ropes to get Eric to talk and it works.  He admits that Sookie knows about Sarah being the cure …. the music turns dark and somber and seriously at this point I was fearing for Pam.  I am still not 100% sure that Pam will make it through but she survived this week.  I won’t lie, my heart was definitely in my throat there for a minute……. 

And now we wait until next week and the final episode. Oh it has come around so fast 😥.    The big question still remains who will make it to the end? Who will Sookie end up with?  Will she become a vampire to save Bill?  Why do I still have a horrible feeling Pam is going to be one of the ones to not make it? Things have totally taken a turn from the beginning of the seasons and all the bets have changed.  Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my final  thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie
Violet

Eric S7 ep 9

My Favorite Lines From “Love is to Die”

  • Pam – “If you cry on my jacket you’re paying for it sweetheart” 
  • Bridget – “Southern Eyelashes that go on for days.”
  • Hoyt –  “I want you to tell me the story of us ”
  • Arlene – “We can’t have sex .. it would kinda kill him if we did.” 
  • Eric – “Get over yourself Bill! ”
  • Eric – “I’m over 1000 years old! If I had an aptitude for marriage counselling don’t you think I would have figured that out by now”. 
  • Jason– “You just happened to pick a guy who’d already met the girl he was supposed to be with”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 8 – “Almost Home” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Wow only 3 episodes left including this one.  AHHHHHHH As much as this season is continuing with the “filler episodes” (seriously you are pretty much running out of time here … LITERALLY) I am still so sad this this is ending.  I have the feeling that the finale is going to kick some major ass and I will just be yelling obscenities at the screen for several minutes :(.  On the plus side there were ZERO shifter mentions / issues/ references this week 😀 So that is something to celebrate lol.

Right then everybody ready because here we go!   Again this week can be split up into just a few little boxes as other than a couple of proper plot points this week was just full of things that are (I hope) going to go somewhere.   We start with Sarah or “Numi” at the camp knowing they are all outside waiting to kill her.  She is talking to her imaginary Jason and he agrees that it is time to die.  Out she goes ready to take on death and claiming that she will come back as “The Princess Of Peace” … ummmm OK crazy bitch ….  and Eric almost delivers it to her (seriously lets blame the Hep V for addling his brain THIS much …. I mean DRINK FIRST …. Cure … remember???) but Pam grabs one of the guns armed with a wooden bullet and threatens to kill herself if he doesn’t cure himself and hand her over.  Thankfully he does and we get a shot of the powerful Eric yelling at the sky with some overly ridiculous long fans but hey … HE IS CURED!!!!! Wooooo Hooooo!!!! And Sarah is tossed to the floor to be swept up by the corporation and the opening credits roll!

One of the main stories this episode is Sookie still desperate to save Bill.   We see them relaxing (and we see way too much of Bill and his nasty veins) and they are chatting about the past.  Boring boring boring!  Was this meant to be a recap for us? Because those of us that watch a lot know this … and we also don’t care.  The only possibly relevant part of this conversation could be that Sophie Ann wanted to breed Sookie.   That is 2 baby references in regard to Bill in 2 weeks …. plus we think we are going to get through the whole episode with out a “Bill Flashback” and technically I suppose we do because the one they show 5 minutes from the end turns out to be Sookie and not Caroline holding a baby … which is not a baby but a bundle of darkness. Hmmmmmm I assume there is a reason for this but I have no idea what it is and I am not really sure that as Bill is involved I actually care.

Perhaps the most annoying (and pointless time filling crap) this episode is the whole Tara chapter which does at least finally gets closed once and for all.  Lafayette and Lettie Mae are still digging random holes in their old houses’s garden (while the confused family just stand there and look on …… I am assuming at this point if you live in Bon Temps pretty much anything goes???).  The Reverend comes along to try and talk them out of doing anymore but instead gets convinced to join them on the V trip and James turns up and supplies the blood.  I adore James!  I wish they were doing more with his character this season!!!! He seems to have been  relegated to V supplier :(.   Anyway ….. whole bunch of time spent with the Lala, Lettie Mae and the Rev high as kites and following Tara through a pointless flashback to an old birthday where we learn that Lettie Mae was abused by Tara’s dad.  He freaked out because he couldn’t find his gun (turns out Tara had hidden it) …. Tara has the opportunity to shoot him but doesn’t and she buries the gun in the back yard and he leaves them forever.   That is what they are hunting for.  The gun.   OK ANYONE have any guesses as to why of ALL the things they could have come up with THIS was the storyline they went with.  UGH YAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Gun found Tara and her mom say goodbye and she heads off and is supposedly at peace now.   WASTE OF SCREEN TIME!!!!!

In more exciting news Jason is over at the Fortenberry house with Hoyt and Bridget as they sort through all the things and there is a fair amount of tension going on especially as Bridget mentions having babies.  Hoyt is not in a “baby” place and apparently doesn’t know if he ever will be.  Poor Jason is just sitting there when he gets a text, complete with pictures, showing that Violet has Adelyn and Jessica all tied up and telling him he needs to come.   Obviously he rushes straight to the car but there is a problem…. Bridget doesn’t want to stay and fight with Hoyt so she gets in the car too.  Hmmmmm weird!!!  Jason calls Andy but he is too far out so he is rushing to the rescue … and apparently Bridget is going with them because she won’t get out the car!

Jason leaves Bridget in the car with a gun full of Silver bullets (which is not too thrilled about but hey she was the one that insisted on going …. at least she didn’t insist on going INTO the house).  As Jason explores there is some beautiful music playing (I need to track this down!) and he is jumping at all the statues placed everywhere as if Violet doesn’t already know that he has arrived lol.  She of course pounces on him and he doesn’t stand a chance and before he knows it he is he is gagged and restrained and learning about the fates that are about to end all the prisoners, described in glorious detail as Violet swans around a room she clearly loves and has used many times in the past.

Wade is going to have all his fingers crushed and then his head crushed in a vice while Adelyn watches.   Next will be Adelyn who will get to experience this awful claw looking device called “The Breast Ripper” which will be heated up and then literally grasp and tear all the flesh from her chest and the she will slowly drain her dry. Jessica will be next and Violet correctly works out that Jessica was a virgin where she was turned and so her punishment will be to be fucked by a red hot metal dildo every 10 minutes for days.  Wow … Violet really isn’t happy!   Before we can find out what fate was in store for Jason, Violet tells us was that all she wanted was for Jason to worship her for the perfect creature that she was …. and then Hoyt appears and shoots her in the back and it is bye bye Violet.  Another abrupt ending with a lot less drama than hoped for :(.

So Violet is dead, Hoyt is the hero and the prisoners are safe.  You can see Jessica looking at him in a whole new light again.  Bridget is sitting with Jason and Hoyt and Jessica are chatting and there are just sparks everywhere.  I wonder if they will unglamour Hoyt somehow.  Hmmmmmm  This could get interesting but they need to hurry up! There are only 2 episodes to sort this out!! Damn you HBO!   Andy and Holly arrive and are thrilled that Hoyt saved the day.  Yay … Go Hoyt!!   It is shame that he won’t know that he killed the vampire that killed his mother.  I hope he gets to find this out ..especially with them having preached the whole “circle of everything” ….  although then he would know that Maxine had definitely gone to the dark side and in that moment Violet was the good guy ….. kinda …. fun that it is all so mixed up!  Sometimes True Blood can make things interesting after all :D.

Later we see Hoyt head to the Compton mansion and he is starting to leave Jessica a note and a brown bag (ummmm this all looks rather familiar ………) when Jessica hears him and invites him in. In the bag is some of his blood that he had drained at the clinic because he is “clean” and thought it would help with Bill.  Awwwww now if we could just fix that pesky glamour issue ……. He says that him and Bridget will be around for a couple of days before they leave back for Alaska and we all know in the True Blood world that leaves time for ANYTHING to happen :D… and I am sure it will!


The third and final main plot line this week is that now they have Sarah they are going to synthesize her blood and create New Blood (Nu Blood?) to cure everyone.  Eric and Pam are wondering what the delay is and they get a little lesson in how this business is going to work.  Turns out it only took a couple of hours to synthesize and perfectly replicate Sarah’s blood. The thing is they don’t want it perfect.  If it is perfect then everyone will be cured and that doesn’t create a “Demand and Supply” cycle.  We learn that Gilette COULD produce a razor that would never dull …. but they don’t ….. Energizer could make an everlasting battery … but they don’t.  What they want to create is something that will keep them healthy as long as they are drinking the product and urges Pam and Eric to just stay quiet about it.

As Pam and Eric do love their money this is not as issue at first ….. but Eric just HAS to go and let Sookie know that he is OK now *sigh* and you know what that means! Yep she sees that he is cured and she wants the same for Bill! UGH!!!  Even worse you can see that Eric wants to give it to her …. but he can’t.  He tells her that dawn is coming and he will return the following night with answers and takes off into the sky leaving a very frustrated Sookie standing in the doorway.

Well we all know Sookie isn’t going to wait …. especially as she doesn’t believe that Bill may HAVE until the following evening and so she comes up with a plan and that plan involves jumping in her truck and driving out to Fangtasia.  Yes AWESOME plan Sookie!  She is greeted by the Yokomoto guards and she convinces them that she needs to see Eric Northman but that does not go down well overall.  Luckily she is smart enough not to argue when Eric calls her a Fangbanger and pretends to glamour her.  She does overhear cowboy leaders thoughts that he hopes that they are not betraying him and something seems off and she also hears that the cure is in the basement.  She goes through her little pretending routine (with a series of absolutely ridiculously over exaggerated nods and head shakes)   and leaves Fangtastia but only to drive as far as the back entrance where she sneaks back in and find Sarah in the basement.  Finally she does something smart and leaves Sarah but we all know when she leaves she plans on returning that night with Bill to fix him!

Night falls and cowboy boss is not feeling too trusting and tells Eric and Pam he is going out and suggests they stay in the club … with some of his guards.  They don’t object but we soon see them heading down to Sarah and Pam quite rightly points out that they are going to do something stupid aren’t they!  Love Pam! Strangely the guards don’t seem to be interested in anything they are doing unless they are trying to leave (or I assume leave with Sarah) so they get to visit alone.  As they are deciding exactly what to do Sookie arrives back with Jessica helping to bring Bill and they all stand there until Eric tells them to hurry up and get it over with so they can all get out of there before they get caught.  There is just one problem …. Bill has decided not to drink …….

UGH I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! …. Roll credits ……. (of course)

And now we wait until next week and the penultimate episode. Oh it has come around so fast :'(.    The big question remains who will make it to the end? Things have totally taken a turn from the beginning of the seasons and all the bets have changed.  Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Violet – taken out in unceremonious fashion by a bullet in the back by Hoyt

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie
Violet

S7 Ep 8

My Favorite Lines From “Almost Home”

  • Hoyt – “From my perspective it is all fucking awful!”
  • Pam – “Why the fuck aren’t we already printing money.”
  • Eric “The shorter the half life the greater the profit! ”
  • Violet – “So you do have the balls to be loyal to at least one woman!” 
  • Violet– “All I wanted was for you to worship me for the perfect creature that I am ”
  • Pam – “We are doing something stupid aren’t we”. 
  • Pam – “Of course it’s happening fast it’s Sookie.  Everything she wants she has to have now!”
  • Pam – “Drink the bitch and leave before we all die!”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 6– “Karma” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because! Oh and with Comic Con being last  weekend there was an AWESOME trailer for the upcoming final episodes shown ….. if you missed it you can check it out HERE.

Right then everybody ready because here we go and this week starts off in a pretty damn awesome fashion with Eric strolling down the hallways carrying the ripped out jaw of the Yukuza member he took down last week.  Of course life can’t be that easy and there are a bunch more waiting for him – all of which he takes out although you can see he is finding it a lot more of an effort that normal (but nothing like the failure to punch through a wall a couple of episodes ago …… sooo continuity issues or adrenalin rush??? Who the hell knows at this point but we get to see Eric being all well ….. Eric like lol so that is always fun). I did love his little pause to ask “Really?” before smashing up a few more of their little killer team but sadly this fun comes to an end when other team members bring a silvered Pam around the corner.  UGH really Pam?  Again? I know you can fight better than this!!!!!  Pam and Eric are escorted in some nifty looking cars to (what I assume to be) the Yokomoto headquarters where they are placed in a room with huge windows and a clock in front of them with a countdown to dawn.  As they are left there alone, presumably to meet the sun, Eric says to Pam “Our first Sunrise together” …. awwwwwww and they share a look and the opening credits roll.

One of the other big revelations last week at the end was Bill showing the first signs of Hep V.  That takes up a fair amount of time this episode and starts with him calling a lawyer to get his affairs in order.  Turns out this is quite a popular thing at the moment and so no appointments are available and so the only option he has is to go down and wait to be seen.   Jessica overhears this conversation but doesn’t confront him about it even when he says he will be leaving and won’t be back until late so not to wait up for him.  We get to follow Bill to the lawyers office which looks like a DMV waiting room with a take a number and wait system and the average wait time it 5-7 hours which will take them up until after sunrise.   Not having much other option as the tell tale black veins are already spreading Bill sits in for the long haul and we get to see that his Hep V is spreading at an alarming rate.  The nasty black veins are appearing more and more before our eyes.  Well that can’t be good! 

On the other side of town Lafayette is none to amused with Lettie Mae’s actions at the party and he takes her back to his house.  She tries to insist she needs to go home because the Reverend will be waiting but Lala is too smart to fall for that knowing that she gave him enough Benedryl to knock him out for hours.  When they get inside James is waiting and looking to take Lafayette up on his offer of a place to crash but things take a little turn with Lettie Mae ranting on about seeing Tara …. James is actually on HER side.  He says that Lafayette of all people should understand the doorways it can open and they come to an arrangement that while James goes off to bed for the day Lafayette and Lettie Mae will go on a V induced trip together.

 Now I want to take a little time out here for a bitch ….. not really relevant to anything other than my annoyance to continuity so feel free to skip to the next paragraph for episode only related info. People have been getting high off of V in this show since Season 1 with Jason and the trips we took then.  Now they have changed the rules so often it makes my head spin (if you use it for healing you don’t seem to get the effects …. unless you are Lettie Mae) …. if you drink a few drops for “finding purposes” again no fun effects ….. but a couple of weeks ago Lettie Mae swallowed a great deal more of Willa’s blood and had a very short induced little trip.  This week Lala and her take not much more than A DROP of James’s blood (and honestly he isn’t exactly a super vamp now is he???) and they trip for HOURS apparently.

OK Rant over … so yes off Lala and Lettie Mae go on their V Trip and they find Tara, back on the cross, and they get her down, and then she is gone and running through the forest (in a dress that looks suspiciously like one of the Maenad’s bridesmaid’s dresses from Season 2) and they find her at her old house crazily digging up random holes in the back yard like a crazy woman.  We don’t get to see WHAT she is digging for as Reverend Daniels chooses that moment to come to the house and shake them out of their little V trip.   Well Lettie Mae is none to thrilled with that and even Lafayette argues that Tara is trying to tell them something but the Rev has had enough and says she has to choose.  Well of course she chooses Tara but we have no idea at this point what that is going to mean.  To be continued next week I guess. 

So I am sure we all remember the Jason / Jessica / Violet issue from last week?  Well Violet starts this week with  whole new approach to things rather than KILL which has been her previous motto.  She decides the ultimate seduction is the way to go but even with that when Jessica calls Jason because she needs him to get Sookie so she can tell him about Bill he leaves to go to her.  Of course he thinks Violet is asleep at the time but once he leaves she goes mad and smashes everything up.  THERE is the Violet I have been expecting to see!  

Jason in the meantime has gone to get Sookie to take her to Jessica’s and they get the news that Jessica has discovered Bill is Hep V positive.  At first Jason won’t believe it but then Sookie realizes that when she scratched her arm with the big stick when she was playing bait she got drenched in Hep V Vamp goo and so it must be her.  They don’t want to believe it but it is off to the clinic they go for a blood test and promises to Jessica that they will let her know when they do.

Unsurprisingly the results are in and Sookie has Hep V and I am expecting that her weird Fairy blood is the cause for Bill’s symptoms and their rapid progress.  Guess Fairy blood isn’t good for everything after all! One good thing to come out of it all is that while they are waiting Jason decides he is going to break it off with Violet …. and when I say good I mean good viewing … obviously we ALL know Violet isn’t going to take that one lying down!

 Talking of Bill we see him still getting worse at the lawyer’s office and True Blood writers suddenly seem to remember that vampires during the day suffer from the bleeds. Oh well done them *rolls eyes* …. won’t even get started on that lack of continuity.  Any way  Bill finally gets to be seen and discovers that there are more problems for him than just his Hep V.  Under the law the will he has was made when he was “impersonating a human” and thus isn’t recognized as it was before vampires came out of the coffin.  As of right now, because of a law passed before the evil Governor Burrell lost his head, vampire progeny are NOT recognized as heirs and so his estate would pass to the government should anything happen to him.  Bill’s only recourse? Adopt Jessica legally and go that route …. which could take up to a year …. unless he wants to pay the lawyer $10 Million to expedite the process.   Bill tries to glamour her into skipping that but she only laughs, (as did I actually because really Bill? She is a lawyer that works with vampires all day … did you not think she would have those fancy contacts? … we will put that slip on your behalf down to the Hep V because your next actions amused me lol) ………. Bill’s next action was to stab her in the throat with a letter opener!! HA!!! Die greedy bitch Die!!!!  Even better he grabs a pencil as he leaves and takes out the vampire guard with it on his way out.  Well played Bill Compton … well played indeed!   He heads home to a waiting Jessica and Sookie who have been crying and it is obvious that they know.

Talking of  Bon Temps remember Jason’s warning to Adelyn and Wade? Well they chose to ignore it and are going for it right under Andy’s roof! Well that wasn’t smart and of course Andy catches them and sends a poor naked Wade running out into the yard with Andy chasing after him, Holly not far behind and Arlene screaming they are gonna wake the baby.   Andy wants to kill Wade, Holly looks like she wants to kill Andy and generally this is not good.  They all go their separate ways but we get to see Arlene and Holly head to Bellfleurs (yes remember that never actually got cleaned up? Well amazingly so did the writers) and they set to getting that place back ready to open and Arlene actually has some good advice.  When Andy comes by to apologize it is clear things aren’t going well but Arlene sends them off to TALK to the kids together.  Just one little problem with that …. when they get to the house the kids have gone!  Seriously? What did they expect? Andy …. well I can see why he didn’t get it but Holly really should have known better! I saw that coming a mile away.  Luckily for them they told Wade’s brother where they were going (Fort Bellefleur) but will they get there in time???   

Also in Bon Temps Nicole is being a pain in the ass and she wants to go “home” for good and she wants Sam to go with her. She basically calls the town crazy, Sam the mayor of crazy town and that he wants to be there crazier still.  Yes there was a whole lot of crazy being thrown around.  If it wasn’t for the fact that she was carrying Sam’s baby I would say good riddance! UGH she gets on my nerves!!! More wait and see stuff here too.

Now remember poor Pam and Eric trapped in a room? Well it turns out that some cowboy wanna be is now in charge of the Yokomoto corporation and he is broke!  Tru Blood is worthless and he wants to get his hands on Sarah Newlin and he thinks the dynamic duo can help.  Eric isn’t having any of it but with only minutes before sunrise Pam is thinking otherwise.  After a few minutes of Eric and Pam starting to burn (the main sticking point being that Eric wants to be the one to actually kill Sarah and Yoko guy not so keen) they come to a deal and our pair is safe ….. for now … and at sundown will be taking them all to Sarah’s sister’s house.  The only place Sarah could possibly go.

They were right, of course, and we get to see Sarah sneaking into her sister’s house during daylight only to be attacked by her sister.  Sadly her sister is too ill to really hurt her and ends up collapsing and coughing up blood before inflicting damage…. but the game is just beginning.   When Amber wakes back up Sarah lets her know that there was a cure.  A cure that Sarah drank all of making her now the only cure out there and she tells Amber to drink from her (Which honestly by the time Sarah had been halfway through the sentence if I was the sister I would have been biting already!).

We don’t get to see what happens but when Eric, Pam and the Yokomoto crew turn up at Amber’s house they see immediately that she is cured! Oh next week should be good! 

To finish up Jason goes home to tell Violet that things are over.  He gets himself all psyched up only to go in and discover that she isn’t there, the place is trashed and she has left a note saying that things aren’t working and goodbye.  Ummmmm what???  Oh don’t worry Violet hasn’t gone completely soft.  We see that she has tracked down Adelyn and Wade at Fort Bellefleur and convinces them to leave their phones and come with her because she knows a place where they can be alone and safe by telling them that with her fairy blood if she could find them the bad vamps could too.  Oh this isn’t going to be good.  Revenge is best in the sneaky way and taking the one thing that will hurt Jessica seems like a pretty good plan to me! 

And now we wait until next week which is looking like a more action packed ride. Adelyn and Wade are at the mercy of a crazy Violet, Eric and crew know that Sarah is their chance at a cure, and although we will have to deal with the inevitable Sookie and Bill drama I am OK with that. The game is well and truly on now.  Odds are changing with a cure now in play (honestly did anyone doubt that would happen?) and so who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (Although notable mention of Bill killing the lawyer and the vamp “guard” …. THAT was awesome! )

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

Eric and Pam sunrise

My Favorite Lines From “Karma”

  • Eric – “Our first sunrise together”
  • Pam – “I imagined my death many times but I never thought I would meet the sun in some place with wall to wall carpet”
  • Eric “When I find her I am going to wrap my hands around her neck and snap her little blonde bobble head”
  • Nicole – “This town is fucking crazy and you are the mayor of crazy!” 
  • Jason – “Bill was a bone fide vampire God not six months ago. ”
  • Arlene  – “Shit happens Holly – ya clean it up.”
  • Sookie – “Life’s too short to be with someone you don’t love.”
  • Amber – “You can’t just dye your hair, and blow a guru, and absolve yourself of all the horrific shit you have done in your life.”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 5 – “Lost Cause” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….and we are halfway through already 😦 ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Well I have to say, after last week’s enjoyment, this week was definitely not as good for me BUT it did have it’s moments and they are definitely setting up for something big …… “Good Big” or “Bad Big” … honestly? who the hell knows with this show but the twists and turns just keep on coming.

We start this week back at Fangtasia and Eric and Pam setting up to depart to hunt for the elusive Sarah Newlin.   Willa is none to thrilled with this plan and says (after a huge Mommy and Daddy issue rant) she has information that she will give them IF Eric releases her.  At this point I can only assume that Eric just doesn’t really care that much about Willa because he does it.  Me, personally, I would have had Eric laugh and just command her to tell him as he commanded her to go with them last week.  That little maker trick never gets old for me….. BUT this does allow Pam and Eric to road trip alone …… so be it!  Willa informs them about Sarah’s hidden vamp sister so off to Dallas our intrepid vamps go, courtesy of Anubis airlines and their nifty travel coffins (although as my husband pointed out … it is still NIGHT when they left…. could they not get in the coffins at the airport just before they fly???) ….. Well if they had we would have missed Ginger and her screaming!  She is none to thrilled by this turn of about yelling that she has been Eric’s sex slave for FIFTEEN YEARS …But without the sex!!!  She asks if they know what a sex slave is without the sex …. and Pam (LOVE HER) says .. A SLAVE!! Ha!! Poor Ginger.  She demands that Eric at least has sex with her before they leave but Eric begs off claiming he is infected to which Ginger replies SHE IS TOO!!! Ooooh Ginger that isn’t good 😦 but as to what relevance that will have we don’t find out this week as the last we see of her is her being unceremoniously dumped off the travel coffin as she screams after Eric. Could that be the last time we get to hear the now infamous Ginger screaming? Guess we will have to wait and see …. Roll opening credits!

The episode picks up where it then spends most of the rest of the hour.  In Sookie’s house.  She is feeling lost and alone and spies what we assume is Alcide’s leather jacket on the chair and she finds Lafayette and James waiting for her. Lala puts her to bed and assures her that he and James will take care of the house and make it respectable for Jackson arriving the next day.  Sookie sleeps right through to the next evening but when she comes downstairs things aren’t quite what she would expect.   Everything is set up for a PARTY!  Yes you read that right!  Jackson and Jenny (well Jenny really) have been prepping all day and they plan on having the whole town over to “celebrate” Alcide’s life rather than “mourn” his passing.  Sookie doesn’t look too impressed but when Bill turns up with flowers (because he had no alcohol at his house which was required as per the invite) she changes her mind and goes to get all dressed up. 

Lettie Mae is annoying as ever and wants to go to the party but the Reverend is smart and knows there will be booze and vamp blood there so it is a no go for Lettie Mae.  That doesn’t stop her though as she doses him up with Benedril (allergy meds) to put him to sleep she can go and do whatever the hell she has it into her crazy head this week needs to be done.

At Sookie’s the party is in full swing an even Bill is dancing … if you can call it that (definitely debatable).  The girls that escaped the Hep V Vamps are having  a blast (except Nicole who is pregnant and can’t drink and seems a little put out by all the weird behavior …. we find out later she is a LOT put out by it all….. isn’t it about time she got killed off …. she’s annoying and you know her and Sam won’t be living HEA) ….. anyway sidetracked … so yes everyone is partying including Jane Bodehouse and that sets Bill off into one of several “Civil War Flashbacks”.   

Now Bill flashbacks (for the most part) are boring and annoying at the best of times but at least normally there is some kind of point that I can fathom out from them.  This weeks flashbacks all seem to center around the same point.  Bill didn’t want to be a part of the Civil War.  He didn’t want to fight, he knew the South was going to lose, and he was more interested in helping the slaves.  UMMMMMM WHAT??????????  So this is a whole new backstory for Bill after SIX SEASONS with NO HINT that he was not a firm believer fighting for the South.  In fact we have been lead over and over to respect what a “Fine Southern Gentleman War Hero” he was and NONE of this rubbish has been entertained.   We see one of the slaves he befriended and was trying to help escape get shot, we see his wife desperately trying to support him and convince one of their *Friends* (fellow noble at least) not to kill him and instead he has to enlist.   All very strange and pretty seemingly pointless and just taking up air time.  I am assuming they are going to somehow link this back to the “Hopeless Hep V War”???? that they are now fighting but UGH definitely wasted air time in my opinion.  The only link so far is that each of the flashbacks has had the ancestor of a current character triggering them.  Blah!

In the middle of the party we stop for a little memorial speech from Jackson which I suppose was nice but really should have been at a funeral.  He says that Sookie was worth it otherwise Alcide wouldn’t have fought for her,  Once we get through that Lettie Mae turns up and Lala tries to get her to leave but she just wants to talk and Sookie lets her (because Sookie is just always soooo nice …. personally I would be on the “get the hell out of my house platform” ) and so we get her remembrance speech about Tara … which STILL ends up pretty much being about her!  Ugh will someone PLEASE kill her already.  I have been over her storyline since season 1 and things haven’t improved. 

Jessica and Andy have a talk outside and Andy makes Jess realize that she is making it harder on him by constantly punishing herself because it won’t let him move on.  When she agrees to help he then says that he is going to propose to Holly …. right there at the party! Now really anywhere else this would probably be a little inappropriate but here it just kinda worked.  We ended up with a really sweet scene…… Sookie let’s Andy use Nan’s ring (which apparently technically was left to Jason but Violet starts by being nice … she doesn’t need a ring …. but then shows her true colors asking “that’s it??” which everyone ignores and is the completely OPPOSITE reaction to Jessica who is gushing away ….. hmmmmmm that isn’t good ) … and off we go for a proposal.  Definitely cute right down to Jason dropping a cushion on the floor for Andy to kneel on that everyone around just ignores.  Even the proposal is done in typical Andy fashion with Holly working it out and saying Yes and then Andy getting flustered and saying she has to wait for him to ask.  Loved it.  BUT my favorite bit was Jason.  He sees Adelyn and Wade and tells them that he doesn’t know if they are fucking or not but it is going to have to stop … right now.   AWESOME!!!! Poor kids looked mortified :D.   Jessica finally looks happy and James wants to take advantage of the moment but Jess wants to stay and party and calls James a wet blanket.  Uh oh … We all know where that is leading.

Sookie is not coping so well with “this much living” and goes upstairs with Arlene for a nice little heart to heart where Arlene says that at night she used to wear Terry’s jacket and pretend it was him.  Uh huh!! Suddenly the jacket at the beginning makes sense….. some more continuity.  Well done writers! We see Jackson lurking outside listening ….. which makes no sense at the time but all will become clear at the end.   Arlene and Sookie are drunk and return the to party and we see Keith again.  Remember Keith … the vamp that saved Arlene? Well there is obviously chemistry there and he references the lovely sexy dreams she has been having.  Hmmm we didn’t get to see them… oh wait yeah … I don’t care.   It was obvious they were going to have a little thing so they might as well get on with it …. but not this week.    

Lafayette goes outside to talk to James and well I am pretty sure everyone can guess what happens next.  Damn those two are so cute together but ummmmm James on the bottom???? I did NOT see that coming.  Totally figured it would be the other way round …. hmmmmmmm lots of thought about that over night and it is STILL bothering me.  Guess James is more of a sub than I pegged him for.  Shame.  Makes him less hot in my book *sigh* ….. oh well …….  Back to the story though and the worst possible outcome happens …… Jessica catches them … full on at it … IN THEIR CAR!! Oh Jessica … really??? What did you expect …. you have been ignoring him for MONTHS now …. but Jessica runs into the house … right near Jason and gets him to rescind James’s invitation leaving him stuck outside.  Jess runs upstairs and Violet gives Jason permission to go after her. Ummmmm not your brightest move there Violet I must say!  

Lafayette joins them a couple of minutes later and points out and that she needs to let him be with someone who loves him if she doesn’t.  Fair enough but we know this is going to cause problems later …….  Jessica and Jason …. alone …. again ….. hmmmmm

Sookie goes looking for Bill and is wandering around with her drunken reduced inhibitions allowing her to “hear” all the nice things people are thinking at the party…. she finds him outside and they share a moment and Bill is wondering about the whole “friends” thing.  This was not done in his time and if we are honest we all know that he loves her.  I am torn because I almost think they belong together (as much as Bill has annoyed me the last few seasons) ….. the last few episodes I see glimpses of the S1 relationship that I loved…. maybe I am getting soppy because the end is so near and I am not quite ready to say goodbye despite the total train wreck it has at times become *sigh*.   OK enough of that (I blame the music) ……. back to the story ……. so Bill goes home and Sookie returns to the party  ……

Just in time to find Lettie Mae who is thinking about Willa and blood and seeing Tara. See we all knew she should have just been thrown out when she first turned up. She NEVER has good motives and she STABS WILLA through the shoulder with a serving knife!! CRAZY BITCH!!! Lafayette comes to which the crazy Lettie Mae away while everyone tries to defuse the now fanged out vampires and are succeeding pretty well until Nicole (UGH did I mention I can’t stand her) get’s up and points out that everyone there is nuts and that “normal” people don’t carry on like this in other towns.   Maybe someone should give her the past 6 seasons to sit through and she would see that really, in the grand scheme of things, this is pretty mild.  Ship her off somewhere Sam …. we all know you have TERRIBLE taste in women!!  She is no good for you .. baby or no baby!!! Possibly the funniest reaction is Jenny (Jackson’s bit of stuff laughing in the corner at it all) … redneck trash to the end that one :D.  So Nicole takes off to go home with Sam and Violet offers to make sure they get home safely.

Now we have Jason and Jessica alone in a room … AND Violet out of the house …. so no prizes for guessing what happens next!! Yes Jessica and Jason are back on …. well at it anyway.  Sex in a chair and they must still have the no full nudity clause for Jessica because we are still not getting a topless shot of her.  Sorry guys :(.  Violet returns while they are in full swing and we are all waiting for the inevitable fireworks and fight ……. but they don’t come! Ummmmm what???  Excuse me???? Violet, after all her threats etc is just going to walk away … Ummmmmmm OKAY????    There has to be more going on that this!  (We actually see in the previews for next week she has decided to fight fire with fire but personally I would prefer fireworks …… bring on the fight!!!) …… sooooo there you have it ….. Weird! 

Away from the party (Which yes I told you took up basically the WHOLE episode),  you have the other (more interesting) storyline of Eric and Pam and the hunt for Sarah Newlin.  They arrive in Dallas and find Amber Mills (Sarah’s sister) and discover she too is a victim of Hep V with the tell tale black veins everywhere.  We learn that Jeremy (Her vampy boyfriend that turned her) has already died and she is just waiting for the same fate but she is happy to take Sarah with her and tells them that Sarah is here in Dallas and will likely be at an upscale political Gala where her parents plan to attend … and Eric and Pam plan on being there!

They are getting ready for the Gala and Pam is all dressed up like a “replublicunt” HA!!! when she tells Eric to strip so he can get ready ….. and we see that his Hep V has spread.  He is now in what they call “Stage 2” (this week anyway .. they are REALLY making these Hep V rules up as they go along) and there is another amazing Eric and Pam moment where he tells her she has to accept he is going to die.  I’m with you Pam!!! Don’t accept it!!! Scriptwriters can find a way to make this right!!! DAMNIT!!!!!  Eric has Pam cover up the ones that will be visible but we don’t get to see Eric’s outfit until the Gala and oh it is worth the wait!!! Cowboy Eric!!! Too Funny!!! Oh it reminds me of Season 2 ….. back in Dallas again … the good parts of S2…. not the weird crazy egg ritual / meat tree type parts lol. 

Pam and Eric embark on their mission to find Sarah via her parents and have made it into the Gala but Pam thinks all the women look the same so is unamused at having to find the mother.  Eric glamours the father but he knows nothing ….. meanwhile we see Sarah find her mother in the ladies room and her mother is not too thrilled to see her.  It doesn’t really matter though because while all this is going on the Yokomoto Samari crew (also known as the Yukuza) are back and are taking out EVERYONE at the party.  Seriously these are the worst group of hired security guards at this party EVER!  One of them doesn’t even have his gun pulled as it is all going down. He deserves to get shot.  Then again they are not discriminating ….. if you are there, and in the way, you are dead.  Kill all the Republicans seems to be the plan of the day for them.  We see Sarah’s father get shot in the head as he doesn’t know where Sarah is (Eric has disappeared at this point) and then we see the Yukuza head towards the bathrooms.  They chase Sarah and her mother and it looks like her mother is about to have a heart attack so Sarah leaves her and not a moment too soon as the Yukuza round the corner and shoot the Mom a few times so no need to worry about the heart attack.  

Sarah runs right into Eric who grabs her by the throat in her moment of panic.  Suddenly the yukuza are right there, the same group that killed his beloved Sylvie so after dropping Sarah he stabs them with their own swords and then rips his teeth out ….no literally …. hand in face and pulls out his whole jaw as the guy dies and walks down the hallway.  AWESOME!!!!! However, fun as that is I don’ think this will be the end of that battle …. to be continued (There were a LOT of those Yukuza guys there)

Back in Bon Temps and the party is over and Sookie heads up to bed to find the jacket from earlier laid out waiting for her.  AHA! So THAT was why Jackson was lurking around there.  Bless …. I suppose that’s quite sweet really.  So Sookie curls up in that and cries herself to sleep while over in the Compton manor Bill is taking a bath …. I know right …. random much? So he gets out and wipes the video and the music is cued up and we are all waiting …. Will Sookie suddenly be behind him …. will it be some bad guy waiting to kill him, Well????? NOPE!!! Worse!!!! Right in the center of his chest we see it ….. the markings of the start of Hep V!!! AHHHHHHHHHH  Now at this point the ONLY person I can remember Bill feeding off recently is Sookie??? What am I missing here???? UGH!!!! Annoying …… lots of things to ponder … well I suppose it takes my mind off of why James was on the bottom ………..

And now we wait until next week!!! On the plus side I have to say I am LOVING the use of the season 1 character soundtrack this season.  It feels right to me and I adore it although it almost pushes home the finality of it and that makes me sad.  Only 5 more episodes and I have no idea what they have in store…. but obviously the whole Hep V thing in our main characters is about to get upped to a while new level.   Who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (lot’s of death but none of it main cast)

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

Eric and Sarah

My Favorite Lines From “Lost Cause”

  • Pam  (To Amber) – ”I like her …. I like you” … Amber – “is it alright if I haven’t made up my mind about you yet”  Pam “Yeah .. I really like her!”
  • Eric – ”You don’t know us sweetheart – we can be assholes”
  • Violet- “I have had about 100 boyfriends die on me over the years and I remember how painful the first ones were”
  • Jackson – ”You can’t die a hero if you don’t have a righteous cause” 
  • Jason – “I don’t know if you all are fucking or not but if you are it is going to have to stop … right now
  • Pam – “Oh My God …… I’m a Republicunt!!!!!”
  • Sookie – “You might wanna dial down your sexy a notch” 
  • Arlene  – “I have to go make tinkle ….. because you know … I am a human!”
  • Sookie – “Thank you for seeing me the way I can’t see myself sometimes”
  • Pam – “How??? All these bitches look the same???”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 3 – “Fire In The Hole” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right then here we go!! After last week’s extremely annoying day set episode this week is much more interesting and action packed mainly because it all happens at night and so we get to see our vamps!! YAY!! And not just the H Vamps either!!!  Some awesome Eric and Pam action coming up!!

The episode starts though in California … ummmmm WHAT??? At a Yoga class hosted by Guru Sanbir Dutta (Nope that isn’t going to be important at all but hey I figured out the name so figured I would share lol) and guess who is taking the class … a Miss Sarah Newlin!  Yes she’s back everyone!! Complete with dyed hair and a new name (Newmi lol) and keeping with her typical theme of sleeping with the power people (in this case Guru Sanbir who is all about hot bodies and being in the “now” with “yourself”).   More about those shenanigans later! (Opening Credits Go Here)

After the credits we go to Eric and Pam … YES This is what we all want to see …. well OK what I want to see anyway ……. And Pam is demanding to know how long Eric has had the disease and is very unimpressed that he has given up.  Eric lets us know that it has been about a month but after everything for him this is the end.  He admits he didn’t get it on purpose but he didn’t try not to get it either.  I love Eric and Pam! I love that she never gives up on him even telling him that she has searched the whole planet for him and that she would have continued.  This actually amuses Eric who claims that she wouldn’t have found him if he hadn’t been sick but the smile belies otherwise.  This is by far one of my favorite Maker / Child relationships ever.  Pam confirms that Tara is in fact gone as she felt her die while she was in Morocco (Well strike one for me ….. I was sure she was still around.  DAMN) … anyway they share another moment about playing “the Bucket Game” and things are just lovely.  You know I could watch a whole show just with these two ……. screw all the other storylines!.   Pam says that Eric’s moping can’t all be about Godric and Nora .. or even Sylvie … Ummmmmm WHAT NOW??? Who is Sylvie?? Oh never mind we get a flashback to answer that question … in fact we get a series of flashbacks over the show so I will put them all in to one ready to go flashback recap …

Flashback recap – France 1986 (Based on the Fact that Pam was turned in 1905 and she states they have been together 81 years)

Eric is having a nice little fling with the lovely French Sylvie, daughter of Vineyard owner.  She knows he is a vampire and we have some wonderful sex, naked Eric, and biting.  Yup this episode is definitely better than last weeks 😀 ….. It would appear that Eric is more than a little smitten with Sylvie …… and is not happy to be interrupted from his moonlight naked frolicking  by non other than Nan Flannigan!!! Ha ….. welcome back Nan we missed you!  Sent by none other than Nora no less.   Well Eric and Pam are in a lot of trouble for not playing by the vamp rules.  (LOVE 80’s Pam!).  They didn’t check in with the sheriff, they aren’t being especially discreet and with Tru Blood about to be released by the Yakinomo  corporation (Some nice mainstreaming references to the drink that remind me of S1 here) and The Authority need them to start behaving.  Pam is her wonderful self telling Nan that she doesn’t like you.  Nan replies under other circumstances she thinks they could be friends but after Pam looks at her shoes and agrees Nan goes back to being her normal bitchy self and points out these are NOT other circumstances.   As usual Pam realizes the gravity of the situation first and agrees to behave but Eric is more interested in Sylvie (really?? She’s not THAT great … maybe she has a trace of Fae in her to make her taste extra yummy) and tells the Nan and the people she represents to “Go “Fuck Themselves”.  Hmmm that might not have been his brightest move.  Pam is worried after Nan leaves but Eric vows to protect her.

Still in France we see Pam having fun with a French Fluzy of her own but things are about to go very wrong as a team of warriors head into their building.  Next thing we hear is Pam yelling to Eric (who is busy in the yard doing some very bad things with Sylvie … Sexy Eric twice in one episode … yummy) and Eric is really not happy about the interruption until he turns to see that she is Silvered (silver choke collar) held by several Japanese warriors with a Silver blade at her throat .  He works out quickly that  they mean business but concludes that if they were going to kill them they would have done it already.  He tries attacking one as they grab Sylvie but the threat to Pam is too much.  When he finds out they were sent by the Yakinomo corporation he tries to bribe them but this fails too. They are on a mission.  We learn that the Authority wants Eric alive so killing him is not an option and they demand, even after he agrees to their demands, that either Sylvie or Pam has to die. Poor Eric looks heartbroken when they won’t let him die instead and Pam and Eric change the most amazing look and he says Pam lives.  Awwwwwww ❤   Sorry Sylvie, time’s up and her end is swift and final with a sword through the gut with a sad smile from Eric and he falls to his knees only to be dragged away silvered along with Pam.  Guess we will learn about that later. ***End Flashback***

Eric seems resigned and nothing Pam is saying is having much reaction until suddenly she mentions Sarah Newlin and lets Eric know she is Alive.  Jason never killed her and Pam is going after her.  This lights Eric fire and now he is MAD and they are going to find her together!! ooooh YAY!!! Welcome back Eric!!! Was worried you were going to be all pathetic this season for a minute! I am not convinced they will save the character but at least he may go out with a bang!!!! Bring on the road trip (Oh wait that won’t be at least until next week … well at least there is something to look forward to!!

Back in Bon Temps Alcide has finally realized that Sookie is gone and is not a happy bunny … well wolf I suppose … and he sniffs her out (Yup literally ….I know …. THAT’s ATTRACTIVE) … over to Bill’s house where he is really mad and smashes down the door.  Sadly for Alcide, Sookie has other plans and has convinced Bill she has a plan and they have taken off in Bill’s car so she can play vampire bait for the H Vamps and not tell anyone else what’s going on.  Of course we all know that Bill just wants her back so he will go along with pretty much anything at this point.   Now don’t get me wrong, I know many people are all anti Bill/Sookie but I kinda like this whole back to season 1 vibe they are playing.  At this point I can’t stand the wolf, Sam is annoying, and well I have pretty much always figured she didn’t deserve Eric after the way she treated him …… so Bill works for me.  If this is the direction it ends in I am fine with it.   There were some cute moments with Bill up in a tree “keeping watch” as Sookie sits there wondering why the H Vamps are taking so long to get to her.  A couple of “moments” are shared but perhaps the most noticeable one is when she says she knows Alcide loves her more than she loves him. Well DUH!!!! We can all see you love Bill more than him and you claim to pretty much hate him half the time.  Alcide was the “safe” option and  she knew it.  So anyway that is what is going on with them while Alcide is running around in wolf form trying to track them down.   See Sookie is so damn selfish she couldn’t even leave him a note! UGH!!! Oh yes we also had some boring Bill Flashbacks to when he was going off to war with him getting pictures taken with his wife and kids…. and the photographer was a Fortenberry .. hmmmmm wonder if that will be important.  Anyway these flashbacks were a LOT less interesting than the Pam / Eric ones! No shocker there!

The H Vamps holed up at Fangtasia have a problem … not enough blood.  They have to feed every hour (well at least one of them does …. seriously I tell you making the rules up as they go along) …. and noone seems to be mentioning the loss of Ms Harris last week or the fact that leaves one less vamp to feed.  Who knows how many are actually in the club at this point but we learn they are down to 4 humans (5 if you could the baby – so that is Holly, Arlene, Nicole, and Jane) and so they need to go find more.  Oooooh Sookie being vampire bait might actually help them ….. although one bite of her and none of them is stopping but whatever …… they decide that a group will have to go  and they go to the basement to find their “Trail Mix” to take with them as they can’t go long enough to hunt without a feed bag.  When they get down there Holly has cast a “sort of”  circle and they are chanting but it doesn’t get them anything other than Harry Potter taunts and Holy gets to go hunting with them.  The crap  H Vamps actually manage to fins a couple of stragglers in the woods (but not Sookie yet) and send them back to Fangtasia with a couple of the familiar looking H Vamps  (The Dark Haired Girl and the Brit) while the rest keep on hunting ….. more on the H Vamp hunting party later!

Right then remember the “Wanna be Justice League” and all the drama going on with that.  Well things certainly get interesting this week.  Andy and Jessica get Adelyn and Wade out of the jail and then they go off to gather up Jason and Violet (who are in the middle of a big fight about what a “Real Man” is.  Mildy interesting because Jason now wants a family (yes he has figured out it would mean adoption) and Violet tells him to stop being such a girl.  Violet is still not happy with Jessica but she lets her in but under her rules and they can have a truce until they find Sookie.  They leave Adelyn and Wade at Jason’s house and off they go on a hunt!

Sam is visiting with the reverend (With his gay vampire watcher Matt lurking in the doorway)  trying to figure out the meaning of all this and how tragic it would be to be sitting there having frozen pizza with just no hope.  That that was just it. Soo the rev and Sam are having a big faith heart to heart when Willa shows up with Lettie Mae high on V and the Rev has everyone else leave so he can sort out the crazy one.

Once the Rev is sorted with Lettie Mae he comes to find Willa and feed her and while she’s feeding she hears all about how the rev ended up there and that Lettie Mae and him basically saved each other. Ummmmmm wait a minute didn’t the Rev have a wife there already earlier in the series before him and Lettie Mae got together? As in he was cheating on his wife with her? Did I make that up ….. I don’t have time to rewatch and check right now but I am pretty sure that is what happened there and he didn’t arrive at a boarded up church and find a drunk Lettie Mae sitting there waiting for him and he knew his purpose.  Hmmmmmmm damn you writers!!! Now I need to go find that …. well later …… ugh sidetracked.  Anyway basically he explains to Willa that she can’t stay there because Lettie Mae won’t stop finding excuses to get her blood and so he thanks her for everything and then rescinds her invitation.  Poor Willa 😦 

Sam and Matt leave and are driving along when they run into the much enlarged “Wanna Be Justice League” group now starring, Maxine, Kenya, Rocky  and well as the already very annoying Vince the wanna be mayor, all armed with guns and wooden bullets which they suddenly use to kill Matt so he is now a pile of goo.   Vince has decided he is now Mayor and when Sam refuses to go away they get ready to shoot him but he turns into an owl and flies away.  Well then that secret is well and truly out the bag now!

Jason, Andy, Jessica an Violet find Sam’s abandoned truck shortly after and the vamps spot the goo remains of Matt and go all fangy.  We hear the “Wanna be Justice League” in the woods and then suddenly they appear en masse in front of our fab 4.  Andy demands to know where the Mayor is to learn that he has flown away and Vince thinks he is mayor now! Jason makes a stand and tells them all just to get out of the way because they can’t do anything but Maxine gets all mouthy and decides she wants to kill Jessica (for all the mean things she did to Hoyt) and Jason (well because he was kinda to blame too)  …. and she shoots Jessica in the shoulder! Good job she is a bad shot!  Violet takes action and rushes forward and rips Maxine’s heart right out of her chest and drops it on the floor, to be shortly followed by a very dead Maxine.   Andy shouts for Rocky as the rest of the rabble disperse and Violet races off to get him and brings him back from the woods even managing to remember the directive to keep him alive!! Back at the car there is concern that Jessica isn’t healing.  She claims she doesn’t know why.  Is she stupid? She needs to FEED!!!!  Isn’t that instinct?  Shouldn’t her fangs pop out instinctively when food is near because she needs it.  WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THESE WRITERS GRRRRRRR!!!!!

OK enough annoyance for the moment … let’s go to  Lafayette.  We haven’t seen much of him this episode but when we do he is dancing his sexy little ass off and enjoying the liquid side of life until James shows up.  James is on the hunt for weed because apparently vamps get high from smoking (ummmm that is a made up rule) ….. but as Lala only has pills Lala improvises and takes a nice little cocktail for James to then enjoy once it gets into his bloodstream.  I am pretty damn sure that isn’t how this works …………. oh whatever …… they aren’t sticking to any rules so why the hell not this I guess.   James and Lala get nice and high on his deconstructed / reconstructed drug concoction and doze off for a bit ….. a little bit too much because James thinks Lala has overdosed and won’t wake up.  False alarm! Lala is fine …. or in his words “A Pro-fess- ion-alle” and they share a moment.  James reminds Lala he has a girlfriend but I don’t think this is the end of that.  I like James … he’s hot and amusing.  Let’s hope he can keep Lafayette safe the rest of the season.  At this rate though they will both be dead next week *sigh*

Remember the Sarah Newlin shenanigans I mentioned at the beginning? Well we get to see she is sleeping with the weird Guru and he seems to be besotted with her.  Well that isn’t going to last long because as he sends her off to get a bottle of wine from the cellar those pesky Yakinomo corporation samari’s are back …… and I don’t think they are very happy with how Sarah left their deal last season and they find the Guru naked and surprised.  When he confirms that Sarah has been but refuses to say where she is now they cut off his head and we see Sarah in the wine cellar behind a closed door as her Guru’s blood pours under the door.  Oooooh this isn’t going to be good.   Guess we will see more about that next week! 

To finish this week everything is going to happen at once.   Alcide and Sam both meet in the woods and transform just out of sight of some of the scattered Justice League … ummmmm seriously? A dog and a wolf and neither of you smelled people right there? Luckily the JL idiots took too long to make the shot and they transformed back and went off running together in search of Sookie.  Sookie who is bored with the waiting game insulted that she thought she smelled special but they aren’t rushing to get her. We see her sharpening a wooden stake but not to do anything productive with ….. no she is going to gash her arm to guarantee that the H Vamps want to come eat her!  It works too as Holly comes out of the bushes bitten and confused so you know that the H Vamps are not far behind.  Sadly for everyone the H Vamps are prepared for vamps this time and they silver Bill so he is now useless and about to be stabbed by one of the H Vamps when Alcide and Sam appear and tear him apart, in the meantime Andy, Jason, Jessica and Violet start shooting wildly and explode all the H Vamps covering Sookie in goo which she desperately tries not to get in her mouth (or her eyes because I guess you can get infected that way too).  Alcide is mad but his first concern is getting Sookie clean which amazingly Violet rushes her to the river to wash her off.  Alcide is really mad at Bill and blames him for agreeing with her when suddenly shots ring out from the woods and Alcide takes one to the forehead and one to the chest and collapses as Jason realizes they are being shot at from the trees and turns to protect them but it is too late for Alcide.  Alcide is dead.  Jessica offers to turn him but Sookie knows that isn’t what he would have wanted and says she made that decision before and it didn’t turn out well and so we end with  Andy standing over the still alive Lou (one of the Justice League) and he leaving him to die and Sookie crying over a naked Alcide’s dead body.

I think the theme this season is unexpected death whether it has a point or not.  Not sure this is the best way for them to make a statement.  So far all the main character deaths (apart from Maxine I suppose) have been pretty pointless if you ask me.  Just killing them off for the sake of a main character death and not adding to the story.  Will it get people talking about it? I’m sure ….. will it boost ratings ….. I don’t think so.  Much as junkies like me will watch until the end, those that pass through will be bored very quickly.  If they are trying to be Game Of Thrones with no on is safe I get it.  But this is NOT Game of Thrones and I don’t like it!

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  Only 7 installments left…. I know there will be tears …..Nobody is safe!!  Who will make it to the end???  Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide

Eric and Pam

 

My Favorite Lines From “Fire In The Hole”

  • Pam– “I searched the whole fucking planet for you”
  • Eric – “It Feels Better In The Moonlight”
  • Eric- “And Everyone Lived Bored And Suicidely Every After” (Love this reference to Mainstreaming that pops up in S1
  • Rev Daniels – “You got to have Faith” (Ha ha ha ha Fright Night Anyone????)
  • Violet – “One town of dead people and you are going to let it turn you into a girl?”
  • Sookie – “When we say stuff we can’t decide how people are going to take it.”
  • Sookie – “I Taste Like Sunshine And Flowers And I’m Right Fucking Here!

True Blood Season 7 Ep 2 – “I Found You” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right then here we go!!  At the end of last week we had … well not a whole lot really. Sookie was preaching in the church and there was no cliffhanger to speak of.

This week opens NOT in Bon Temps at all but rather somewhere exotic with ERIC standing by a window and Jason coming to find him … wait Jason???? Ummmmmm OK Brian Buckner I see where this is going and sure enough insert Eric / Jason sexy type dream sequence.   Not bad …. I never realized how short Jason was ….. and it was enough man on man action that my husband was groaning lol but over all other than putting Eric back on the screen it seemed kinda pointless. Kudos to them though ….. it was believable.  Great chemistry 😀  The look Eric gave when he grabbed Jason by the throat and threw him to the chair?? Ummmmmm yes please!!!!  Jason is crazy as ever and you never know what what is going to come out of his mouth so that was kinda fun and Eric can just stand there and look pretty …. that works.  I’m going to be sad if they kill Jason off… poor Jason .. he was on my watch list last season as one of the most likely to die …. would hate to see him survive that only to die this season :(.   That being said ….. with this happening BEFORE the credits it certainly woke me up …… but that was a highlight … it is pretty much ALL down hill from here (Except a brief minute at the end but you will have to wait for that). …. Oh and Jason waking from his dream in the Church … hilarious!!

So Eric is not dead …. shocker …. yes well we all knew he would be appearing and his name is back in the credits so that was all obviously just to try and mess with bloggers like me.  Rutina Wesley is now absent from said credits (despite making a brief appearance this week)  so I guess well played? If this is the best “Game” you have for us bloggers Brian Buckner you get a C- Must Try Harder.  You know if they show wasn’t falling apart in front of our eyes we would have more SHOW stuff to focus on.

Right then on with the rest of the episode that can pretty much be set into 3 little boxes, none of which I would personally bother to open!  This whole episode is basically set during the day which means we get little to know vamp interaction and the stuff we do is from Hep V vamps we know little about and care about the same amount!  We start with most of the town together and Sookie realizing that no one knows what to do but she has a plan because she found a body in the woods.  Yup at this point nobody even asks why this is the first time this is coming up *sigh* ……. Anyway this leads to the decision that the box 1 action will consist of Sookie, Jason, Alcide, Sam, and Andy all leaving to investigate the body.  Box 2 action will consist of the adventures over at Fangtasia with the Hep V Vamps and their well known prisoners, and Box 3 will be the “Wanna Be Justice League” from last week and the rest of the town that are “sorting things out” including Lettie Mae, Lafayette (Briefly) and Adelyn.

BOX 1 – Sookie, Jason, Alcide, Sam, and Andy  and their out of town adventure.  They start by going back to the body Sookie found and getting an address off her license.  Jason and Andy so a bit of very unconvincing police work and then after trying to call the mayor and sheriff of the other town (Yes they know their numbers … not they aren’t saved because they dial them in …. *rolls eyes at the stupidity*) And off they go on their road trip to Saint Alise.  When they arrive they find is a totally deserted place with everything boarded up, spray painted messages everywhere with things like FEMA HELP and SOS and NO signs of anything living (or Unliving).

They find a mass grave filled with the remains on the town, at least those that they assume weren’t taken for snacks on the go….. as Sookie puts it they were either “killed or tooken”.    They manage to find the dead woman’s house and Jason is able to use “Pizza Forensics” to establish that they have been gone about 2 1/2 days.  For those not familiar with this tactic it involves eating left of pizza found on a table.  Must have been good because as the investigation continues he continues eating.

Sookie finds the bedroom and a diary and we get to hear her read the diary entries (Which are from 2010 and 2011 although happening just a couple of days ago so I guess that is where we are in the True Blood universe date wise).   We learn that the dead girl  had a fling with a vamp just like Sookie right down to the trip to Fangtasia, and they thought it was love.  Some great flashbacks to S1 ….. remember S1 …. when this show was awesome beyond belief and we thought nothing would ever match it *sigh* ….. anyway we learn that as we thought the vamps came, destroyed everyone and everything, and didn’t even spare a baby.  I think this was supposed to be dramatic and hard hitting but I’m afraid by this point in this week’s episode all I could think was hmmmmm so it it is 2011.  You know that this all making Sookie think about Bill ……. Ooooh Alcide I knew a wolf just wasn’t going to hack it Mwahahahahahahaha.  So after all that they go back to Bon Temps (after Alcide having a moment in the car where he says they could just keep driving…… UGH Alcide you REALLY suck! And not in the fun vampy way!)

 

BOX 2 – The Hep V Vamps holed up at Fangtasia with Holly, Arlene, Nicole and Jane.  The vamps aren’t happy that one of their own killed Kevin and ate him all by themselves.  Blood is short and they need to learn to share.   Apparently these Hep V Vamps don’t sleep during the day much, or if they do they have a watch set for 15 minutes to keep waking them up? Not sure what the hell is going on with that but it is all rather pointless.  They are all hungry, they are irritated because Bon Temps had vampires protecting them, oh and they don’t seem to get the bleeds.  Actually no vamps seem to get the bleeds by staying up anymore.  Jessica is up during the day (no bleeds even though as she hasn’t fed recently to the point where her own fang marks on her arm from feeding Adelyn aren’t healing?), We see Willa up in the day (although admittedly not for a prolonged period), anyway I digress.  So yes Hep V Vamps are hungry and they have a system in which they give each other titles…. like Reaper.  The reaper is the one that goes to fetch the prisoner and bring them up to feed the others (preferably without eating them all on the way).  The reaper that went for Kevin failed and ate him all so a new reaper is appointed.

This reaper is apparently a teacher that used to teach Arlene and Holly’s kids.  Now this is important because she recognizes Arlene and so chooses someone else to eat.  Later they manage to talk to her and come up with a plan for them to escape. On a side note when the girls are discussing that they know her Nicole comments that she is a reaper?  Ummmmmmm yes well they just made that up for this episode … guess they wanted to make the most of it.  Seriously writers …. PLEASE sort it out!!! Continuity FAIL!

The teacher works out if she is the sleep monitor she can rescue Arlene and the others. So she gets her watch (set at 14 1/2 minutes) and she goes down to get them letting them know they have 12 minutes to escape.  She says she will need to feed on one of them before she will be strong enough and Arlene volunteers.   The Vamp says it has to be the femoral artery because if they are caught the bite marks need to be hidden.  Arlene is unamused but agrees (I mean really what choice does she have?) and vamp goes in for a bite.  First bite seems OK but then it all gets weird ……. suddenly the vamp stops feeding, looks up and the veins in her face are deteriorating fast and her eyes glaze and she dives back at Arlene’s leg and starts munching like her undead life depends on it … which I am guessing it did because suddenly she is vamp goo.  Now was it just her Hep V finally getting her? We know Arlene isn’t infected so her blood wouldn’t be tainted and make her worse that quickly …… OR are we going to find out somehow that Arlene has something in her that kills the Hep V vamps? I mean they have said no new big bad villains this season but that doesn’t mean no new supes?? Hmmmmm will have to think some more on that.  Either way they are all still trapped and now covered in goo and we will have to see what happens next week. 


BOX 3 – The “Wanna Be Justice League” from last week and the rest of the town that are “sorting things out” including Lettie Mae, Lafayette (Briefly) and Adelyn.  Let’s start with Lafayette.  He gets a visit from Lettie Mae to “check on him” but really she just wants some V.  Yup she’s an addict again just swapping booze for V.  Lafayette won’t help her so she gets insulting and leaves.  Anyone else wish she would just leave for good?

Back at Merlottes (Sorry Bellefleurs) everyone is cleaning up so they can all keep busy … until along comes the   “Wanna Be Justice League” to cause problems and with all the “good people” off on a field trip they are able to convince all the people there (with a bit of help from a freezer full of dead bodies) that they need to take the law into their own hands.  They talk about Sam being a dog and Mrs Fortenberry says she saw him turn from a bear once by her trash and then proceeds to call him a bear/dog from then on.  I did like that someone asked her why she in fact voted for Sam to be Mayor if she had seen that to which she didn’t have an answer.   Anyway they all decide they are going to protect themselves and start breaking up things for stakes until Adelyn “overhears ” Rosie realize that there are guns at the police station. Adelyn takes Wade and rushes over to warn Kenya and things seem to be going well until the rest of the town gets there and convinces Kenya that they SHOULD be doing something (generally with the use of you are a black woman always overlooked and this is your chance to do something).  Adelyn gets scared and blasts them with her fairy light and it is all down hill from there.

Jessica wakes sensing Adelyn is in a whole lot of trouble but a glance at her watch lets her know it is the middle of the day and sunny too so she is trapped.  She tries calling Sookie but Sookie’s phone is still in the woods from last week.  UGH Sookie you are an idiot!  So there is nothing that she can do is wait … and wait and wait ……poor Jessica 😦

At the station they all play with the guns and waste a ton of ammunition but the funniest thing for me was seeing Mrs Fortenberry getting all into shooting things (minus bullets).  Anyone remember when she was all black eyed and playing the Wii at Bills?  Ha yes that was what it reminded me of!

In another part of town Lettie Mae burns her wrist and runs it under cold water and then realizes there is a way for her to get more vampire blood and she burns the hell out of herself and then rushes over to wake Willa, who almost kills her being woken in the middle of the day, but instead catches herself and then heals Lettie Mae who goes off on a nice little V induced high.  She sees Tara up on a cross, dressed in white, with a big yellow snake wrapped round her and she is saying something.  All very strange and I am sure it means something but I have no idea what and I really can’t be bothered to try and figure that mess out.

Jessica is still stressing about Adelyn but now it is later in the day and she is trying to get ready to leave when Andy comes home.  After realizing that Jessica did not in fact EAT Adelyn he listens and finds out that Jessica knows Adelyn is in trouble.  Now here is my issue ….. she doesn’t know WHERE she is?  The whole point of her drinking the blood last week AND the clip they even showed in the recaps THIS week said … I will ALWAYS know how to find you.  So now she has to be out of the house …… HUH???? This makes no sense.  More rules not working because it isn’t convenient for them to be working.  Anybody have any other ideas.  UGH This show is pissing me off this week.

With the three boxes done there are only 2 little bits to add on.  Sookie and Alcide return from their road trip and Sookie sends Alcide for a shower so she can sneak out and run across the cemetery to Bills house so she can ask him if he could still find her if she was in trouble.  Ooooohhhhh any excuse Sookie ………

BUT the final moments this week had everyone gasping (OK had me gasping).  Pam finally gets to find Eric in France and contrary to speculation he was not burned up and recovering like Russell, instead things are much, MUCH worse.  We get to see Eric looking tired and resting in a chair as he looks at Pam , who is crying, and says “You Found Me” ……. awwwww … and then we see ….. those tell tale black veins in the center of his chest ….. ERIC HAS HEP V …….. ROLL CREDITS …. NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU BRIAN BUCKNER!!!! Finally something interesting on the screen after AN HOUR of crap and CREDITS!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  But it begs the question are they actually going to kill him off for good? I mean all the threats of I won’t watch next season really hold no water any more ……. SO NOT GOOD!!!!

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  The previews for next week look a LOT more promising than this weeks episode was and so with certain mixed emotions I both want to watch and avoid these final 8 installments …. I know there will be tears ….. Who will make it to the end???  But  honestly I’m not fooling anyone even myself ….. Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode
None  


Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – Hmmmmmm Looking more like it may have been for real.  I’m shocked!
Kevin 

EricMartini

 

My Favorite Lines From “I Found You”

  • Jason– “You’d play the whole Lone Rider – I’m an island”
  • Arlene – “I did not survive 4 lousy husbands, my serial killer boyfriend and the sort of suicide of my love Terry  to die in the basement of a vampire bar!”
  • Jason – “Sometimes not being clever makes you a better detective” (Hands over a Starbucks Card instead of a License lol)
  • Lafayette– “I’m not a big fan of Jesus’ work but that is some epic fucking timing”
  • Pam – “Un Fucking Believable”
  • Sookie – “If I got myself in some serious shit would you be able to feel me?”