True Blood Season 7 Ep 8 – “Almost Home” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Wow only 3 episodes left including this one.  AHHHHHHH As much as this season is continuing with the “filler episodes” (seriously you are pretty much running out of time here … LITERALLY) I am still so sad this this is ending.  I have the feeling that the finale is going to kick some major ass and I will just be yelling obscenities at the screen for several minutes :(.  On the plus side there were ZERO shifter mentions / issues/ references this week 😀 So that is something to celebrate lol.

Right then everybody ready because here we go!   Again this week can be split up into just a few little boxes as other than a couple of proper plot points this week was just full of things that are (I hope) going to go somewhere.   We start with Sarah or “Numi” at the camp knowing they are all outside waiting to kill her.  She is talking to her imaginary Jason and he agrees that it is time to die.  Out she goes ready to take on death and claiming that she will come back as “The Princess Of Peace” … ummmm OK crazy bitch ….  and Eric almost delivers it to her (seriously lets blame the Hep V for addling his brain THIS much …. I mean DRINK FIRST …. Cure … remember???) but Pam grabs one of the guns armed with a wooden bullet and threatens to kill herself if he doesn’t cure himself and hand her over.  Thankfully he does and we get a shot of the powerful Eric yelling at the sky with some overly ridiculous long fans but hey … HE IS CURED!!!!! Wooooo Hooooo!!!! And Sarah is tossed to the floor to be swept up by the corporation and the opening credits roll!

One of the main stories this episode is Sookie still desperate to save Bill.   We see them relaxing (and we see way too much of Bill and his nasty veins) and they are chatting about the past.  Boring boring boring!  Was this meant to be a recap for us? Because those of us that watch a lot know this … and we also don’t care.  The only possibly relevant part of this conversation could be that Sophie Ann wanted to breed Sookie.   That is 2 baby references in regard to Bill in 2 weeks …. plus we think we are going to get through the whole episode with out a “Bill Flashback” and technically I suppose we do because the one they show 5 minutes from the end turns out to be Sookie and not Caroline holding a baby … which is not a baby but a bundle of darkness. Hmmmmmm I assume there is a reason for this but I have no idea what it is and I am not really sure that as Bill is involved I actually care.

Perhaps the most annoying (and pointless time filling crap) this episode is the whole Tara chapter which does at least finally gets closed once and for all.  Lafayette and Lettie Mae are still digging random holes in their old houses’s garden (while the confused family just stand there and look on …… I am assuming at this point if you live in Bon Temps pretty much anything goes???).  The Reverend comes along to try and talk them out of doing anymore but instead gets convinced to join them on the V trip and James turns up and supplies the blood.  I adore James!  I wish they were doing more with his character this season!!!! He seems to have been  relegated to V supplier :(.   Anyway ….. whole bunch of time spent with the Lala, Lettie Mae and the Rev high as kites and following Tara through a pointless flashback to an old birthday where we learn that Lettie Mae was abused by Tara’s dad.  He freaked out because he couldn’t find his gun (turns out Tara had hidden it) …. Tara has the opportunity to shoot him but doesn’t and she buries the gun in the back yard and he leaves them forever.   That is what they are hunting for.  The gun.   OK ANYONE have any guesses as to why of ALL the things they could have come up with THIS was the storyline they went with.  UGH YAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Gun found Tara and her mom say goodbye and she heads off and is supposedly at peace now.   WASTE OF SCREEN TIME!!!!!

In more exciting news Jason is over at the Fortenberry house with Hoyt and Bridget as they sort through all the things and there is a fair amount of tension going on especially as Bridget mentions having babies.  Hoyt is not in a “baby” place and apparently doesn’t know if he ever will be.  Poor Jason is just sitting there when he gets a text, complete with pictures, showing that Violet has Adelyn and Jessica all tied up and telling him he needs to come.   Obviously he rushes straight to the car but there is a problem…. Bridget doesn’t want to stay and fight with Hoyt so she gets in the car too.  Hmmmmm weird!!!  Jason calls Andy but he is too far out so he is rushing to the rescue … and apparently Bridget is going with them because she won’t get out the car!

Jason leaves Bridget in the car with a gun full of Silver bullets (which is not too thrilled about but hey she was the one that insisted on going …. at least she didn’t insist on going INTO the house).  As Jason explores there is some beautiful music playing (I need to track this down!) and he is jumping at all the statues placed everywhere as if Violet doesn’t already know that he has arrived lol.  She of course pounces on him and he doesn’t stand a chance and before he knows it he is he is gagged and restrained and learning about the fates that are about to end all the prisoners, described in glorious detail as Violet swans around a room she clearly loves and has used many times in the past.

Wade is going to have all his fingers crushed and then his head crushed in a vice while Adelyn watches.   Next will be Adelyn who will get to experience this awful claw looking device called “The Breast Ripper” which will be heated up and then literally grasp and tear all the flesh from her chest and the she will slowly drain her dry. Jessica will be next and Violet correctly works out that Jessica was a virgin where she was turned and so her punishment will be to be fucked by a red hot metal dildo every 10 minutes for days.  Wow … Violet really isn’t happy!   Before we can find out what fate was in store for Jason, Violet tells us was that all she wanted was for Jason to worship her for the perfect creature that she was …. and then Hoyt appears and shoots her in the back and it is bye bye Violet.  Another abrupt ending with a lot less drama than hoped for :(.

So Violet is dead, Hoyt is the hero and the prisoners are safe.  You can see Jessica looking at him in a whole new light again.  Bridget is sitting with Jason and Hoyt and Jessica are chatting and there are just sparks everywhere.  I wonder if they will unglamour Hoyt somehow.  Hmmmmmm  This could get interesting but they need to hurry up! There are only 2 episodes to sort this out!! Damn you HBO!   Andy and Holly arrive and are thrilled that Hoyt saved the day.  Yay … Go Hoyt!!   It is shame that he won’t know that he killed the vampire that killed his mother.  I hope he gets to find this out ..especially with them having preached the whole “circle of everything” ….  although then he would know that Maxine had definitely gone to the dark side and in that moment Violet was the good guy ….. kinda …. fun that it is all so mixed up!  Sometimes True Blood can make things interesting after all :D.

Later we see Hoyt head to the Compton mansion and he is starting to leave Jessica a note and a brown bag (ummmm this all looks rather familiar ………) when Jessica hears him and invites him in. In the bag is some of his blood that he had drained at the clinic because he is “clean” and thought it would help with Bill.  Awwwww now if we could just fix that pesky glamour issue ……. He says that him and Bridget will be around for a couple of days before they leave back for Alaska and we all know in the True Blood world that leaves time for ANYTHING to happen :D… and I am sure it will!


The third and final main plot line this week is that now they have Sarah they are going to synthesize her blood and create New Blood (Nu Blood?) to cure everyone.  Eric and Pam are wondering what the delay is and they get a little lesson in how this business is going to work.  Turns out it only took a couple of hours to synthesize and perfectly replicate Sarah’s blood. The thing is they don’t want it perfect.  If it is perfect then everyone will be cured and that doesn’t create a “Demand and Supply” cycle.  We learn that Gilette COULD produce a razor that would never dull …. but they don’t ….. Energizer could make an everlasting battery … but they don’t.  What they want to create is something that will keep them healthy as long as they are drinking the product and urges Pam and Eric to just stay quiet about it.

As Pam and Eric do love their money this is not as issue at first ….. but Eric just HAS to go and let Sookie know that he is OK now *sigh* and you know what that means! Yep she sees that he is cured and she wants the same for Bill! UGH!!!  Even worse you can see that Eric wants to give it to her …. but he can’t.  He tells her that dawn is coming and he will return the following night with answers and takes off into the sky leaving a very frustrated Sookie standing in the doorway.

Well we all know Sookie isn’t going to wait …. especially as she doesn’t believe that Bill may HAVE until the following evening and so she comes up with a plan and that plan involves jumping in her truck and driving out to Fangtasia.  Yes AWESOME plan Sookie!  She is greeted by the Yokomoto guards and she convinces them that she needs to see Eric Northman but that does not go down well overall.  Luckily she is smart enough not to argue when Eric calls her a Fangbanger and pretends to glamour her.  She does overhear cowboy leaders thoughts that he hopes that they are not betraying him and something seems off and she also hears that the cure is in the basement.  She goes through her little pretending routine (with a series of absolutely ridiculously over exaggerated nods and head shakes)   and leaves Fangtastia but only to drive as far as the back entrance where she sneaks back in and find Sarah in the basement.  Finally she does something smart and leaves Sarah but we all know when she leaves she plans on returning that night with Bill to fix him!

Night falls and cowboy boss is not feeling too trusting and tells Eric and Pam he is going out and suggests they stay in the club … with some of his guards.  They don’t object but we soon see them heading down to Sarah and Pam quite rightly points out that they are going to do something stupid aren’t they!  Love Pam! Strangely the guards don’t seem to be interested in anything they are doing unless they are trying to leave (or I assume leave with Sarah) so they get to visit alone.  As they are deciding exactly what to do Sookie arrives back with Jessica helping to bring Bill and they all stand there until Eric tells them to hurry up and get it over with so they can all get out of there before they get caught.  There is just one problem …. Bill has decided not to drink …….

UGH I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! …. Roll credits ……. (of course)

And now we wait until next week and the penultimate episode. Oh it has come around so fast :'(.    The big question remains who will make it to the end? Things have totally taken a turn from the beginning of the seasons and all the bets have changed.  Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Violet – taken out in unceremonious fashion by a bullet in the back by Hoyt

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie
Violet

S7 Ep 8

My Favorite Lines From “Almost Home”

  • Hoyt – “From my perspective it is all fucking awful!”
  • Pam – “Why the fuck aren’t we already printing money.”
  • Eric “The shorter the half life the greater the profit! ”
  • Violet – “So you do have the balls to be loyal to at least one woman!” 
  • Violet– “All I wanted was for you to worship me for the perfect creature that I am ”
  • Pam – “We are doing something stupid aren’t we”. 
  • Pam – “Of course it’s happening fast it’s Sookie.  Everything she wants she has to have now!”
  • Pam – “Drink the bitch and leave before we all die!”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 6– “Karma” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because! Oh and with Comic Con being last  weekend there was an AWESOME trailer for the upcoming final episodes shown ….. if you missed it you can check it out HERE.

Right then everybody ready because here we go and this week starts off in a pretty damn awesome fashion with Eric strolling down the hallways carrying the ripped out jaw of the Yukuza member he took down last week.  Of course life can’t be that easy and there are a bunch more waiting for him – all of which he takes out although you can see he is finding it a lot more of an effort that normal (but nothing like the failure to punch through a wall a couple of episodes ago …… sooo continuity issues or adrenalin rush??? Who the hell knows at this point but we get to see Eric being all well ….. Eric like lol so that is always fun). I did love his little pause to ask “Really?” before smashing up a few more of their little killer team but sadly this fun comes to an end when other team members bring a silvered Pam around the corner.  UGH really Pam?  Again? I know you can fight better than this!!!!!  Pam and Eric are escorted in some nifty looking cars to (what I assume to be) the Yokomoto headquarters where they are placed in a room with huge windows and a clock in front of them with a countdown to dawn.  As they are left there alone, presumably to meet the sun, Eric says to Pam “Our first Sunrise together” …. awwwwwww and they share a look and the opening credits roll.

One of the other big revelations last week at the end was Bill showing the first signs of Hep V.  That takes up a fair amount of time this episode and starts with him calling a lawyer to get his affairs in order.  Turns out this is quite a popular thing at the moment and so no appointments are available and so the only option he has is to go down and wait to be seen.   Jessica overhears this conversation but doesn’t confront him about it even when he says he will be leaving and won’t be back until late so not to wait up for him.  We get to follow Bill to the lawyers office which looks like a DMV waiting room with a take a number and wait system and the average wait time it 5-7 hours which will take them up until after sunrise.   Not having much other option as the tell tale black veins are already spreading Bill sits in for the long haul and we get to see that his Hep V is spreading at an alarming rate.  The nasty black veins are appearing more and more before our eyes.  Well that can’t be good! 

On the other side of town Lafayette is none to amused with Lettie Mae’s actions at the party and he takes her back to his house.  She tries to insist she needs to go home because the Reverend will be waiting but Lala is too smart to fall for that knowing that she gave him enough Benedryl to knock him out for hours.  When they get inside James is waiting and looking to take Lafayette up on his offer of a place to crash but things take a little turn with Lettie Mae ranting on about seeing Tara …. James is actually on HER side.  He says that Lafayette of all people should understand the doorways it can open and they come to an arrangement that while James goes off to bed for the day Lafayette and Lettie Mae will go on a V induced trip together.

 Now I want to take a little time out here for a bitch ….. not really relevant to anything other than my annoyance to continuity so feel free to skip to the next paragraph for episode only related info. People have been getting high off of V in this show since Season 1 with Jason and the trips we took then.  Now they have changed the rules so often it makes my head spin (if you use it for healing you don’t seem to get the effects …. unless you are Lettie Mae) …. if you drink a few drops for “finding purposes” again no fun effects ….. but a couple of weeks ago Lettie Mae swallowed a great deal more of Willa’s blood and had a very short induced little trip.  This week Lala and her take not much more than A DROP of James’s blood (and honestly he isn’t exactly a super vamp now is he???) and they trip for HOURS apparently.

OK Rant over … so yes off Lala and Lettie Mae go on their V Trip and they find Tara, back on the cross, and they get her down, and then she is gone and running through the forest (in a dress that looks suspiciously like one of the Maenad’s bridesmaid’s dresses from Season 2) and they find her at her old house crazily digging up random holes in the back yard like a crazy woman.  We don’t get to see WHAT she is digging for as Reverend Daniels chooses that moment to come to the house and shake them out of their little V trip.   Well Lettie Mae is none to thrilled with that and even Lafayette argues that Tara is trying to tell them something but the Rev has had enough and says she has to choose.  Well of course she chooses Tara but we have no idea at this point what that is going to mean.  To be continued next week I guess. 

So I am sure we all remember the Jason / Jessica / Violet issue from last week?  Well Violet starts this week with  whole new approach to things rather than KILL which has been her previous motto.  She decides the ultimate seduction is the way to go but even with that when Jessica calls Jason because she needs him to get Sookie so she can tell him about Bill he leaves to go to her.  Of course he thinks Violet is asleep at the time but once he leaves she goes mad and smashes everything up.  THERE is the Violet I have been expecting to see!  

Jason in the meantime has gone to get Sookie to take her to Jessica’s and they get the news that Jessica has discovered Bill is Hep V positive.  At first Jason won’t believe it but then Sookie realizes that when she scratched her arm with the big stick when she was playing bait she got drenched in Hep V Vamp goo and so it must be her.  They don’t want to believe it but it is off to the clinic they go for a blood test and promises to Jessica that they will let her know when they do.

Unsurprisingly the results are in and Sookie has Hep V and I am expecting that her weird Fairy blood is the cause for Bill’s symptoms and their rapid progress.  Guess Fairy blood isn’t good for everything after all! One good thing to come out of it all is that while they are waiting Jason decides he is going to break it off with Violet …. and when I say good I mean good viewing … obviously we ALL know Violet isn’t going to take that one lying down!

 Talking of Bill we see him still getting worse at the lawyer’s office and True Blood writers suddenly seem to remember that vampires during the day suffer from the bleeds. Oh well done them *rolls eyes* …. won’t even get started on that lack of continuity.  Any way  Bill finally gets to be seen and discovers that there are more problems for him than just his Hep V.  Under the law the will he has was made when he was “impersonating a human” and thus isn’t recognized as it was before vampires came out of the coffin.  As of right now, because of a law passed before the evil Governor Burrell lost his head, vampire progeny are NOT recognized as heirs and so his estate would pass to the government should anything happen to him.  Bill’s only recourse? Adopt Jessica legally and go that route …. which could take up to a year …. unless he wants to pay the lawyer $10 Million to expedite the process.   Bill tries to glamour her into skipping that but she only laughs, (as did I actually because really Bill? She is a lawyer that works with vampires all day … did you not think she would have those fancy contacts? … we will put that slip on your behalf down to the Hep V because your next actions amused me lol) ………. Bill’s next action was to stab her in the throat with a letter opener!! HA!!! Die greedy bitch Die!!!!  Even better he grabs a pencil as he leaves and takes out the vampire guard with it on his way out.  Well played Bill Compton … well played indeed!   He heads home to a waiting Jessica and Sookie who have been crying and it is obvious that they know.

Talking of  Bon Temps remember Jason’s warning to Adelyn and Wade? Well they chose to ignore it and are going for it right under Andy’s roof! Well that wasn’t smart and of course Andy catches them and sends a poor naked Wade running out into the yard with Andy chasing after him, Holly not far behind and Arlene screaming they are gonna wake the baby.   Andy wants to kill Wade, Holly looks like she wants to kill Andy and generally this is not good.  They all go their separate ways but we get to see Arlene and Holly head to Bellfleurs (yes remember that never actually got cleaned up? Well amazingly so did the writers) and they set to getting that place back ready to open and Arlene actually has some good advice.  When Andy comes by to apologize it is clear things aren’t going well but Arlene sends them off to TALK to the kids together.  Just one little problem with that …. when they get to the house the kids have gone!  Seriously? What did they expect? Andy …. well I can see why he didn’t get it but Holly really should have known better! I saw that coming a mile away.  Luckily for them they told Wade’s brother where they were going (Fort Bellefleur) but will they get there in time???   

Also in Bon Temps Nicole is being a pain in the ass and she wants to go “home” for good and she wants Sam to go with her. She basically calls the town crazy, Sam the mayor of crazy town and that he wants to be there crazier still.  Yes there was a whole lot of crazy being thrown around.  If it wasn’t for the fact that she was carrying Sam’s baby I would say good riddance! UGH she gets on my nerves!!! More wait and see stuff here too.

Now remember poor Pam and Eric trapped in a room? Well it turns out that some cowboy wanna be is now in charge of the Yokomoto corporation and he is broke!  Tru Blood is worthless and he wants to get his hands on Sarah Newlin and he thinks the dynamic duo can help.  Eric isn’t having any of it but with only minutes before sunrise Pam is thinking otherwise.  After a few minutes of Eric and Pam starting to burn (the main sticking point being that Eric wants to be the one to actually kill Sarah and Yoko guy not so keen) they come to a deal and our pair is safe ….. for now … and at sundown will be taking them all to Sarah’s sister’s house.  The only place Sarah could possibly go.

They were right, of course, and we get to see Sarah sneaking into her sister’s house during daylight only to be attacked by her sister.  Sadly her sister is too ill to really hurt her and ends up collapsing and coughing up blood before inflicting damage…. but the game is just beginning.   When Amber wakes back up Sarah lets her know that there was a cure.  A cure that Sarah drank all of making her now the only cure out there and she tells Amber to drink from her (Which honestly by the time Sarah had been halfway through the sentence if I was the sister I would have been biting already!).

We don’t get to see what happens but when Eric, Pam and the Yokomoto crew turn up at Amber’s house they see immediately that she is cured! Oh next week should be good! 

To finish up Jason goes home to tell Violet that things are over.  He gets himself all psyched up only to go in and discover that she isn’t there, the place is trashed and she has left a note saying that things aren’t working and goodbye.  Ummmmm what???  Oh don’t worry Violet hasn’t gone completely soft.  We see that she has tracked down Adelyn and Wade at Fort Bellefleur and convinces them to leave their phones and come with her because she knows a place where they can be alone and safe by telling them that with her fairy blood if she could find them the bad vamps could too.  Oh this isn’t going to be good.  Revenge is best in the sneaky way and taking the one thing that will hurt Jessica seems like a pretty good plan to me! 

And now we wait until next week which is looking like a more action packed ride. Adelyn and Wade are at the mercy of a crazy Violet, Eric and crew know that Sarah is their chance at a cure, and although we will have to deal with the inevitable Sookie and Bill drama I am OK with that. The game is well and truly on now.  Odds are changing with a cure now in play (honestly did anyone doubt that would happen?) and so who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (Although notable mention of Bill killing the lawyer and the vamp “guard” …. THAT was awesome! )

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

Eric and Pam sunrise

My Favorite Lines From “Karma”

  • Eric – “Our first sunrise together”
  • Pam – “I imagined my death many times but I never thought I would meet the sun in some place with wall to wall carpet”
  • Eric “When I find her I am going to wrap my hands around her neck and snap her little blonde bobble head”
  • Nicole – “This town is fucking crazy and you are the mayor of crazy!” 
  • Jason – “Bill was a bone fide vampire God not six months ago. ”
  • Arlene  – “Shit happens Holly – ya clean it up.”
  • Sookie – “Life’s too short to be with someone you don’t love.”
  • Amber – “You can’t just dye your hair, and blow a guru, and absolve yourself of all the horrific shit you have done in your life.”

True Blood Season 7, News, Thoughts, and Spoilers!! V””V

So I am sure since Sunday’s episode many of you, like me, have been scouring the web to see if you can get any news on True Blood Season 7.  Well finally an interview with Brian Buckner (Current HBO True Blood Showrunner) has been released and so I thought I would share my thoughts and feelings about it.  (*Original Interview is linked at the bottom of the page*)

Firstly the thing that most people want to know.  Is Eric dead?  Well Brian is saying he is definitely not gone.  Whilst he refuses to admit outright that he will be fine he does say he has no intention of removing him from our screens.  I don’t think for many of us this is going to be a big revelation.  The whole scene was so ani-climatic that my husband, barely looked across to see if I was bothered.  Now you have to realise that various points in the True Blood saga certain scenes turn me to a blubbering wreck, and not just the first time through either.  Godric meeting the sun, Eric releasing Pam, and now this season Nora dying in Eric’s arms …. all guaranteed sob fests.  This scene barely had me raising an eyebrow.  I had already written several escape scenarios for him even before HBO was able to post the 6 months jump ahead sign. (Some of these are discussed in more detail in my finale recap – HERE ).  Basically Eric will be fine, and will be back, and I am pretty sure Pam will be with him.

With that out the way let us move on to the whole Hep V thing.  Now here is where I have a HUGE issue with Brian and it makes me wish Alan Ball would come back.  Do you remember back in the good old days of Season 1 where there were SO MANY hidden meanings that many of them wouldn’t become clear until later? There were even books written that you could, if you were obsessive enough, work out what was going to happen to each character based on the color of their clothes!!!  One of the best things about this show was that you could either just watch it, and take the entertainment at face value, or for people like me, you could hunt for the hidden meanings, look for the extra layers, and find many like-minded people to banter ideas around with.  Apparently we are taking our ideas a little too far for them, there is no conspiracy with Lettae Mae being out to poison Tara …. bloggers like myself cooked that one up all by ourselves.  Well can you blame us?  As drama and cliffhangers go we weren’t really given much to work with.

Now many such people, myself included, have been very upset this season by the blatant “flaunting” of the rules and it almost seemed as if, at times, they were just making it up to suit the storyline in that moment. Well  it turns out THEY WERE!!! ….. and I quote “In seasons past – I’m not going to point to any one of them – we took some massive swings, not knowing where we were going. That’s the nature  of what we do. In this case, I don’t believe we bit off more than we can chew“.  Well that explains a lot then.  All the times we were asking where the thought process was for things ….. turns out there just wasn’t one.  Throw it out there and we will deal with it as and when we can …. if we have to change a few things that we already said … well so be it.   WOW! Totally sold out then!! That to me just really sums up how the writers feel about this show that we love.  A show that was so different when it aired that it caught the attention of vampire lovers all over the world, a show that now have become so mainstream for the most part that I have heard Vampire Diaries be described as more entertaining for the real vampire fans.  We stick with it, we moan, but secretly we are all hoping that they will take a turn back to earlier seasons, maybe open one of the books that the show was inspired from (just not the newest one … for the love of Cain leave that one WELL alone) ….. or as I suggested on the post I got the information from …. LET ME AT IT!!!!!! V””V
true-blood-season-7
MY answer to the ORIGINAL post listed below ….I think many bloggers would like to offer their services to the writers. I am especially disgusted to read that they “hadn’t thought this Hep V thing through”.  It is actually one of my complaints this week that they need to come up with a proper set of rules for this.  I miss the  old S1 True Blood where everything DID have a meaning and it was only in re-watching, possibly a couple of seasons later, that the clues that  were there became clear.  THAT was clever writing!  None of this “throw  something on screen and see where it goes”.  Supernatural lovers generally like the rules to be adhered to.  We are pretty adaptable as  to what is acceptable (for the most part) between shows and books as  long as the writers STICK TO THEM.  Continuity!  With so many fans it really shouldn’t be hard.  Give a couple of them a chance to read through the scripts (with non disclosures signed obviously).  I assure you it would result in a far better season of TV! V””V

Information obtained from Brian Bucker’s Interview with Michael Ausiello. Read original interview  HERE

True Blood Season 6 Ep 9 – “Life Matters” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So here we are! It feels like this season barely started and already this is the penultimate episode. Really this week was split into 2 sections (although it jumped back and forth A LOT between the 2 in the episode) so for my convenience I am going to split the review up that way too.  And yes I saved the better bit for the second half so if (like me) you are totally over the whole Terry and his funeral drama feel free to skip ahead.

For those that want to know everything … here we go.  Tonight we say goodbye to Terry with a funeral that takes up about 1/2 the show.  Now don’t get me wrong, I loved Terry! Well earlier versions of Terry.  This season’s Terry was a lot on the annoying side for me.  I miss the Terry that kept Felix the Armadillo under his bed! I think having him shot the way he was to kill off a major character was a little bit of a cop-out and they have certainly milked it for all it was worth.  That being said there were some great moments during the funeral, especially the flashbacks that were really well filmed and had the raw quality to them that was so evident in earlier seasons (a quality that honestly I miss). 

Sookie leaves her Fairy haven to be there (just popping in like she does with no one noticing) …. and Alcide is there to hit on her. Hmmmmm still not quite sure why he felt the need to attend, guess with the whole pack debacle dealt with, for now at least, they had to find some way to put him in there and show that he is back to being a good guy.  Well Praise Cain for that because (and these are words I never thought I would be writing) he was even MORE annoying this season being Alcide the Asshole!!  He does provide some eye candy for Mrs Fortenbury and Jane Bodehouse though which amused me and we got an update on Hoyt (who has a girlfriend who apparently is ugly as sin but still better than being a red-headed bloodsucker).  Made me think of the Sam Scrunchie comment from Season 2. Definite amusement factor.  Adding to the amusement was a pretty constant string of insults coming from the (new) Caroline Bellefleur.  Delightfully inappropriate throughout.

The Reverend Daniels in there (complete with Lettie Mae who hasn’t changed one bit) and he gives the service in his quiet preachy way. He opens the door for various people to come up and talk and with each one we get a flashback of a poignant moment in their history with Terry.  Andy goes first with his (slightly predictable) looks at when Terry was holed up in fort Bellefleur after the war. Nothing really new here.  Sam is next and the flashbacks with him were well done.  It really has a “season 1” feel to it which I appreciated. 

Lafayette is up next and he is wonderful as usual.  I especially loved his outfit, the suit, the fedora, and the looooong false lashes. His speech was perhaps one of my favorite parts of the funeral complete with another Season 1 esque flashback and Terry being shown how Lafayette shakes it when he cooks.  Brilliant!  Moments like this show how well the writers know the characters … which actually makes it MORE annoying when they get it wrong!!!  If they have writers that can show us this … they should be able to not make so many other screw ups!!!  They do make up for it though with a boring interlude from Portia *yawn*.  We could have done without that!  PLUS no interesting flashback so double blah on that!

It should be Arlene’s turn but Sookie “hears” that she isn’t ready to say goodbye yet and so we get Sookie up there instead.  She takes that moment to tell them all she is a telepath (which I am pretty sure most of them knew as NO real reaction to that announcement at all but hey Sookie way to try to make it all about you) … and we get a real touching flashback to Terry first seeing Arlene on his first day at work.  They did an amazing job of recreating an almost exact scene from the very first episode which I am sure that many fans like me would appreciate and it was lovely closure for Arlene.  Very well handled but still taking away from what I really wanted to see .. the vamps!!!

Finally it is Arlene’s turn and she gives a moving speech and we get another flashback to when Mickey was born (side track for a moment and this baby looks  YOUNGER in this funeral episode that he was 2 SEASONS AGO!!!( ….. and we see Terry being wonderful and for a moment I am sad that he ended like this.  Then I remember that he was annoying this season and this story has been dragging on sooooooo enough already!!   Finally Reverend Daniels says everyone has spoken but Big John steps up and he is going to sing.  ( you would recognize him if you saw him … he worked in the kitchen with Terry). So he sings and everyone is moved .. and it is kinda touching (when you watch it this bit is actually overlaid with the whole Jason and Sarah bit … but hey I decided to write it this way .. so you are going to have to deal with it lol).  So song over we get the marine gun salute, the guns are fired, the flag is folded, the funeral is over.  Goodbye Terry.  Your crazy antics from earlier seasons will be missed.

And  now onto the vamps!!  At the end of last week Bill and Sookie had hopped to Fairy Land where they found Warlow drained (by Eric) but obviously still alive (he wasn’t a pile of goo) and this week we see that Bill is not big on the sympathy vote and still wants Warlow (who can’t even sit up) to keep up the bargain Sookie made and come help save the vampires stuck at vamp camp about to meet the sun.  Sookie points out that Bill is supposed to be the king of all the vampires and he needs to go sort out his own vampire mess and then decides she needs to gnaw on her own arm so that Warlow can feed (you would have though by now she would carry a knife for just sort a situation), which of course makes Bill’s fans pop out, which irritates Sookie even more.  Well Sookie he is a vampire – what do you expect.  Bill, couldn’t care less and as soon as Warlow has had a couple of mouthfuls of blood gets whisked up by Bill wanting to leave with him but he can’t. Ooops Bill you forgot that you need a fairy to get in and out of there … unless you are Eric apparently … no we aren’t getting a proper answer to that question from last week, but all is well as Sookie zaps him with her magic Fairy light and he bounces on his ass right back to the graveyard but not before she reminds him that Eric has more or Warlow’s blood pulsing through him than Warlow right now so he can go find him!

Talking of Eric, he is very much enjoying being able to walk in the sun and takes the opportunity to completely tear up all the guards outside of vamp camp (but Bill is not far behind him ).  Sadly we only get to see before and after shots *sigh* ……. no actual Eric doing the damage, but we can imagine (and I did :D).  With limbs in hand (well he wasn’t sure which arm had the chip in) he goes into the camp and starts making his way through with his first stop being at Doctor Oberlark’s office.  Remember him? He was the creator of Hep V and the stupid human that enjoyed injecting the lethal dose into Nora as he forced Eric to watch. Think he might be regretting that decision right about now and Eric approaches him and rips his balls off!! Quite literally!  Now the web has been filled with titillating spoilers about how this week we would get to see “Eric” and a “Naked Penis” in the same shot … and we do … sadly it is not Eric’s but the Doctor’s that has been tossed to one side as the Doctor lies there bleeding out. (Note to special effects team … whilst I appreciate a good blood shot ….. there is no way he could stay conscious with that much blood pooled around him … I am not even sure a body HOLDS as much blood as seen there … but I appreciate the effort).  Eric leaves him bleeding to death after pointing out he will be back in 10 minutes to make sure he has bled off.  Luckily (or unluckily) for Doctor Oberlark he doesn’t have to wait that long as Bill comes in and stomps on his head like the giant cockroach that he is!

Eric continues his jaunt around the prison, and it really is a jaunt, dancing into the room he just unlocked to free the male vamps in one of the general population quarters, humming to himself as he digs the computer chip out of the dead guard’s arm.  I ADORE this Eric.  The vampire out for vengeance with no regard for human life, the humans that have wronged him, the humans that thought he could be tamed. Covered in blood and oozing with danger! Brilliant!! If the whole show could have been like this I would have been thrilled.  He even takes a moment to console one lonely vampire who does not flee with the others because his maker is in one of the morgue type coolers.  The maker is infected with Hep V and we can see he doesn’t have long to live as the black evilness is coursing through his veins but Eric knows that feeling and quietly points out that the opportunity for vengeance is available.  *sigh* …. Love it!

As Bill is slightly behind Eric he goes off on a different pathway around the prison in his hunt for our favorite viking  vampire, seeing as he does that the vampires have opted for a literal eye for an eye revenge routine rather than a simple kill all the humans  variation.  We see variations of pretty much all the tortures we have seen inflicted on the vampires the past few weeks now being done to the humans, from the pulling of teeth, to the running in the giant hamster wheel (almost naked of course) to a therapy session with our not so favorite shrink.  As Bill searches he prooves once again that even as the all powerful Billith he is rather stupid and useless.  He asks a roaming vampire about Eric and is told that Eric set them free but the vampire refuses to elaborate saying so many hallways ….. and Bill just leaves it.  UGH Bill .. you have enough power to make Eric float around the ceiling like a giant helium balloon but you can’t make a simple number 3 vamp give you information?  USELESS!!

With Bill wandering in the opposite direction, Eric has made his way to Female Gen Pop 001 where, after freeing the room, he finds Jason pretty drained and laying, shirtless on a bench.  Amazing scene between these 2 characters which ends with Jason being healed by Eric (mainly because Jason can show him around) and Eric promising him some awesome dreams !! Oh I hope we get to see the dreams next season (although I am sure my husband is hoping EQUALLY as hard that we DON’T lol). With the newly healed Jason as his guide they head off down the corridors (with Jason high fiving all the dead guards on the way) and we see Sarah Newlin emerge from beneath a pile of bodies after they pass.  Now SURELY Eric would have heard the heartbeat and known someone was not only alive but (apparently) not injured in the least?? Was he so focussed he didn’t care? Or is this just another oversight to enable the plot twist that they wanted *sigh*.  Either way Sarah is alive and you know that won’t be good.

Heading a long Eric must have gone in a complete circle and now be behind Bill because he comes across the room where Pam’s favorite psychiatrist is having his own tortuous therapy session.  Eric dismisses the vampire torturers and has his own little chat.  The Doctor is scared and so he should be.  Eric is cold and calculating and awesome as he tells the Doctor he forgot to ask how he was going to die.  Things are about to get worse for him though because sensing the end is close he decides that taunting Eric is the best way to go.  Even Jason knows that this is not a smart move but Eric hears the truth in the words so whips out the guys “anti glamour” contact lenses and makes him tell all.  Then instead of killing him decides that it would be better for Pam to have the honor. See I LOVE that!!! Brilliant bit of writing there from the team!!!  As they continue down the halls (now with psychiatrist in hand) there is a piercing scream that all fans would recognise.  Sure enough Eric grins and says the same thing … and heads to find Ginger!!!

Bill, in the meantime, remembers what Sookie said about all of Warlow’s blood coursing through Eric’s veins and realizes that HE has Warlow’s blood too so grabs a guard and rushes off to find the White Room with a guard that he picks up on the way. 

With Bill rushing to the rescue inside, we get to see that Sarah escaping was a bad thing as she heads up the side of the building to the roof and we all just know it is the roof of the room that the vampires are in.  Sure enough we see her opening the roof to let the sun in to the vampires below …. but Bill has gotten there first and they are all feasting on him as the sunlight hits … well all except Steve who apparently only got a mouthful.  Hmmmmmmm dramatic as this is … why not just open the door Bill so they could all LEAVE??? *rolls eyes* .. STUPID!!! (The music is rather awesome though)

Eric finally catches up complete with Jason,  psychiatrist and Ginger … but they are in the observation room and Eric rushes around to catch Steve who is starting to panic.  Bill says to let Steve feed but Eric is having none of it and holds him into the sun to burn … just as Sarah leans over to look down at what she expects to be a room full of burning vampires.  Instead she just gets to see the one burn, her ex husband… who looks right at her and says ….. I love you .. JASON STACKHOUSE!!! Damn if that isn’t a smack in the face!! Eric and Pam share a beautiful moment as they look at each other and Eric tells Pam he saved the psychiatrist for her. Awwwwww great to see these 2 back on the right track!

The vampires are all high and dancing in the sunshine filled room (hmmmm yes could have done without that) … when Jason realises that Sarah is still alive and rushes off to take care of it.He catches her in the parking lot and has a gun to her throat but can’t bring himself to pull the trigger and ends up letting her go.  Oh Jason you know that is going to come back to haunt you!!

Bill is left on the floor … pretty much drained to the point of death (sadly not actually there) while the vampires all go to play outside and smash-up all the bottles of Tru Blood and apparently at the same time in Honolulu a vampire appears at what seems to be a Tru Blood delivery and we see the driver killed too. Hmmmmm wonder why Honolulu… guess we will find out next week.  Anyway Lilith’s little bitches appear and tell Bill it is time for him to go with them.  GO BILL GO!!! PLEASE GO!!!!

Eric is outside with the other high happy vampires but he is not looking so happy.  We see him go to where Nora was infected with the Hep V while he was caged and we see him go from mad to what looks like resigned.  Ohhhh go back to being mad Eric …. you still have a lot of humans you can kill!!! (and a whole pack of wolves over in Shreveport if you are really looking for something to do …. what …. just a suggestion … damn writers don’t listen to me anyway!!)

Jessica is also losing her happy thoughts as she realises Bill isn’t with them and she rushes back in (complete with James in tow) and finds Bill almost dead apparently talking to himself (Jessica can’t see the Lilith bitches).  James realises that Bill needs blood to survive and feeds him, which apparently is enough for the Lilith clones to leave and Bill to come back to the land of the living (unliving???)  *sigh* … either way Bill doesn’t die.  Damn it Bill could you not have just gone with them!!!

Bill walks out to a round of applause from the vampires he saved but you know from the music something is wrong….. although it is not for Bill that the music is playing … it is for Eric.   Pam turns and looks across the parking lot as everyone is leaving and it is just her and Eric … and she just says one line …. “Don’t You Dare Leave Me” …. and Eric is gone ….. straight up towards the sun leaving us to believe that he has decided to end it… and that is where they end the episode.

I can’t believe we only have one more episode left this season although I am curious what they are going to do with the finale.  This episode had a finale feel to it (had it been any other show) but I can only assume with season 7 confirmed they are going to spend next week setting things up for a tortuous cliffhanger to make us wait for a year.

I did appreciate the nod to Anne Rice’s Lestat, be it intentional or not for those avid vampire readers like me.  It gives me hope that Eric will survive this as Lestat did before him.  I think if they really wanted to kill him off they would have had this as the finale ending.  Certainly would have had us buzzing with the will he / won’t he make it questions for the next 10 months!!

Waiting SUCKS!!!

 

V””V

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My Favorite Lines From “Life Matters”

  • Sookie – “Eric took our deal and fucked it in the ass!!”
  • Eric – “I’ll be back in 10 minutes to make sure you bled out”.
  • Eric – “Go on, Go kill your captors”
  • Eric – “You’re free …. go forth and kill the humans”
  • Terry – “I don’t like work …… or people”
  • Steve – “I love you Jason Stackhouse!!!”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 8 – “Dead Meat” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

I am going to start by saying I think this was, perhaps, my least favorite episode so far this season.  For me there was way to much Shifter stuff, Pack problems, Terry trauma, and Fairy fuss!! Overall I found it to be rather dull, especially considering the teaser that we got to see last week, but hope that there is at least some kind of reason for this stuff and possibly an excuse …… I mean explanation from some pretty GLARING continuity errors!!!

We start this week very briefly seeing Eric dealing with Nora’s death and by dealing I mean basically saying screw you Billith I am not helping you or your stupid cause. You failed to save Nora so now I will do my own thing even if you float me around the ceiling like a kite and act like you are a big bad vampire at the end of the day you are just Bill and you are weak!  And Bill proves him right and ends up letting him go.  One of the better moments of this week’s episode but sadly over before the opening credits roll with Bill “slamming” (worst door slam ever)  the door behind Eric as he takes off into the night.   Now at this point hopes are high that Eric is going to be bad and vengeance driven this episode but sadly we see very little of him other than now and his reappearance at the end.  Hey at least I am warning you now … I sat through the whole episode to learn this!

Credits done and we go to Alcide and his little pack dilemma.  Yes I know I don’t really care either but hey it was in there.  So Rikki has Nicole and Mom all tied up and presents them to Alcide as very much not dead and then when Alcide reminds her that he is in fact packmaster Rikki challenges him to a fight … to the death. She even manages to get a couple of seconds … the little bitch that they had the three way with and … ummmmmm well a very strange looking blonde reminding me yet again why wolves are just not my thing.   Stupid fight where Alcide kicks both their asses (yep the girls cheat) and whilst I would normally be completely against any man hitting a woman … Rikki really did ask for it … and she is a wolf … and oh yes I don’t care but PLEASE get this story over with.  So they fight and Rikki loses but we don’t actually know whether Alcide kills her or not.  Well OK we do because it’s Alcide .. and even asshole Alcide that has been around this season won’t be doing that.

Over at Vamp Camp Willa wants to try and save Jason from being Violet’s chew toy but Tara talks her out of it. At least Tara seems to have a handle on the whole vamp hierarchy now …. or maybe it is just the jail hierarchy that she has the hang of.  Either way it was a smart decision on her part.  Violet has decided that Jason is “hers” and apparently this to her means forever. A concept Jason is not too thrilled about but hey at least she isn’t going to be passing him around for favors so bonus for him.  Honestly I am bored with her already. Even her whole I am a real medieval catholic with real values speech was just annoying.  The only amusing part was when Pam asked to talk to her while she was feeding (in what appeared to be a morgue drawer???… no idea why THAT was in the general population room) but that amusement was down to Pam’s attitude and not hers.  Overall I hope she dies because otherwise I see another long drawn out Crystal time situation occurring and we certainly don’t need that cropping up again!

Back in Bon Temps Sookie is at the graveyard and yet again seems to have a complete handle on what she can do with her powers right down to telepathically talking to Warlow (I am dropping the Ben bit)  before she returns to Fairy land (which this week seems to have sparkly things everywhere almost like icicles you hang on a Christmas tree everywhere) and ties him back to the gravestone with some vines.  You know if he has enough control to make the decision to do that …. and then she is going to feed him when she gets there anyway …. why bother with the tieing him up in the first place.  Oh wait I got it …. you didn’t tie him up before you left last time because it wasn’t needed for the story … but this week it is so just tie him up and leave him that way ….. indefinitely.  Yep GREAT plan *rolls eyes*.    Anyway I am jumping ahead a bit … so they are there and Warlow makes a nice point that Bill is a liar and so just because he says he won’t kill Warlow after he saves the vamps doesn’t mean it is true and he is going to want a little more assurance, so if he helps the vamps Sookie has to become his fairy vampire princess bride.  Sounds fair enough to me! But Sookie needs time to think about it and zaps herself back to Bon Temps where Eric is waiting, hiding behind a tree, and sees her just appear.  Once she leaves Eric goes to the spot she just came from and waves his arm around obviously trying to sense what is there.  Whether Eric can tell or not is unsure but Warlow certainly can as the whole realm he is in suddenly goes dark.  Interesting ……. OK not really … it is exactly what happened when Bill was near in season 4 with the whole fairy thing.  At least time doesn’t seem to be distorted now … or maybe the writers just forgot that part……Oooooh maybe Warlow can control it … what??? They are making up new rules every single week with no regard to what has happened before!!! Almost as bad as the last Sookie book!!! (Hey they make a reference to it in a bit so why can’t I).

Back to Vamp Camp and Jessica and James are basking in the afterglow of their little fling last week. They really are kinda cute together. James is by far the most interesting new vampire for me this season although even he annoys me this week. I guess when Jason got escorted off they were just left in the room and no one thought to check.  Well OK then. But it doesn’t last long as just as they are about to have a little more fun the guards burst in….. of course no one questions how they happened to be there just split them up and take them back.  In the hallway they meet Pam who is leaving the psychiatrists office having exchanged sex (which she describes as Oozy but productive) for her release back into general population.

She arrives just in time for the big announcement.  Tru Blood is now available for all and they will all be getting their own bottle.  Obviously those in the know are not too thrilled about this and don’t drink but sadly those in the know include James ….. who can’t keep it to himself and takes pity on the poor Steve Newlin (who almost gets bullied out of his bottle anyway until the guards intervene) and tells him not to drink it either.  UGH James you stupid stupid boy!! What are you thinking? We all know this is going to end badly … and it does!!! When Sarah finds out that certain vamps aren’t drinking the their spiked drinks she immediately asks if Steve is one of them and then tortures him by having him run on a giant hamster wheel under the threat of UV light.  Steve, being the spineless cry baby that he is soon gives up all he knows and that he got the info from James without ever being touched by evil UV rays. So pathetic. He is SUCH a 4!!!!  With the new info Sarah comes up with a new plan.  All those that refuse to drink will be escorted to the white room, which we soon see is the room from Bill’s visions, the room where they all meet the sun.  This is not good.  We get to see Steve and James put in there and Steve sobbing and crying to Sarah …. yep because that is going to help Steve!  We don’t, however get to see what happens to them until later.

In the meantime Sam has returned to Merlottes and is greeted by Alcide who lets him know that he has returned Nicole and her Mom who were kidnapped by the crazy Rikki.  Looks like Alcide is back to the old Alcide and no more pack for him.  Yep knew he wouldn’t kill Rikki.  Shame .. she totally deserved it.  So Alcide heads off to drink in the bar while Nicole and her Mom have a drink with Sam in his trailer.  Yes all very dull ….. Nicole’s mom doesn’t feel safe (sensible woman) but she still goes off to bed.  Nicole and Sam have a moment outside and he starts smelling her hair ….. OK you know that means something shifter based and sure enough when he is in the bar talking to Alcide (yep they are all friendly again) Alcide mentions it and it becomes quite obvious that Nicole is pregnant.  YAWN!!!!! What happened to Luna being the love of his life?  It has been just a few days and yet he is all ready to move on with everything.  Damn shifters!

Moving on to more stuff that I am totally done with … the whole Terry mess.  Arlene is nicely hung over but Lafayette has a nice plate of greasy breakfast for her (and it looks GOOD … I love fried bread …. not something I have seen much of since moving from England ….. my husband was trying to insist that Lafayette had in fact made Grilled Cheese but I know I was right .. and it was breakfast …. yes I know totally off topic but still more interesting to me than this storyline) …… So yes Lafayette made breakfast and then broke the news about the life insurance.  Adelyn was listening in to Arlene’s head and hears that all is not good in there with lots of guilt to go around including some thrown the young fairy’s way as she needs to stop being in people’s head.  This gives the cue for both of them to storm off unhappy (very important for later that Adelyn be alone).

I am going to wrap all the Terry from this week up here because … well honestly not a lot of it makes sense … I mean last week I was moaning that Arlene seemed to have buried him already … this week we go to the funeral home to plan things.  And it is all a little ridiculous.  Old Mrs Bellefleur is there (now I am assuming it is meant to be Caroline????… yep checked the credits .. it is but they got a new actress… and she is NOT as good) and she wants a full 21 gun salute because that is how they do things which I agree with Arlene is in rather bad taste in this case.  Arlene goes outside but eventually calms down and the funeral is set and even though she worked out who shot him Andy convinces her that if she presses him to investigate the life insurance won’t pay out so better to just pretend nobody knows anything.  So bored with this whole thing.  Seriously .. OVER IT!

Sookie visits Bill, in the daylight, and they have a little chat in which Bill basically tells her to hurry up and just do it already and he doesn’t care about her little issues and that the deal sounds quite fair which comes as a bit of a shock to little Miss Sookie who was obviously expecting a little more sympathy. But we all know she is going to do it .. but first a little stop via Merlottes where she successfully manages to interrupt Sam trying to get Nicole to stay (it wasn’t hard he asked she said yes but Mom was not amused) and whisk Sam off to his office where she shows him her little light ball and then drops the bom that she always thought they would end up together.  Way to mess with the guy Sookie!! (And yes totally ripped from the last book!!!). Sam, to his credit, is not in the mood for this Sookie drama and so poor Sookie runs off and we get  an agonizing hour (well actually it is more like 5 minutes but seriously when watching it it FELT like an hour) of Sookie talking to her parents’ gravestones and then painstakingly getting ready, leaving a voicemail for Jason (Niall is missing, Terry is dead, the funeral is in the morning I will save you a seat, sorry to leave this in a voicemail), until she eventually arranges to meet Bill that evening.

In other day time romps, Holly has called her sons and had them go and take Adelyn out for the day (complete with a big bottle of booze … I am betting Holly didn’t count on that one) and off they go to get drunk.  Skip ahead to the night and one brother is pretty much passed out while the other decides to get hot and heavy with the young fairy.  All is going well (especially for the brother that manages to get Adelyn’s top off) until Eric appears.  Pulling her top on as she goes Adelyn takes off running while Eric glamours the 2 brothers in to forgetting that he was ever there and (with a smirk) forgetting that Adelyn was ever there too even though it means for the one brother he has to forget he managed to get a girls top off … he even apologizes for taking that memory away.  With the boys safely glamoured Eric is free to take off after the fairy girl and with his speed he catches her (and drinks from her quite deeply) but as we see her running down the road only to be picked up by Andy we know that he doesn’t kill her.

Back to vamp camp and the best Sarah Newlin scene ever!!!  Sarah is slowly unravelling as everyone is asking for the Governor but it is when the Tru Blood exec turns up and forces her way despite Sarah’s best “we are both strong women plea” in to the camp that everything really gets good … I mean goes wrong. With Sarah chasing the exec wildly through the corridors the exec soon realises there is something very wrong going on in that place with screams that she needs to inform the FDA….. oh honey that is the least of your problems right now!!! Sarah chasing her down in ridiculously high heels is awesome and the fighting is pretty good too. So glad they decided not to go for the typical girl fight, hair pulling etc, but Sarah finally gets the exec to the ground and starts slamming her head into a metal grate … right about the male general population room who rush to lick the blood that is pouring from the execs head to their floor below.  To finish things off, Sarah grabs the exec’s ridiculous high heel leopard print shoes and slams it into her head screaming DIE DIE DIE … and when she does … Sarah sinks back and thanks Jesus.  In a not so good episode this was definitely a highlight and very unexpected.  Not good for Sarah and her crazy vamp camp but great viewing pleasure.

While all that is going on my the male general population area back in the female area Violet is called out for not drinking her Tru Blood.  Her excuse that Jason is keeping her fed doesn’t wash with the guards but as Violet is yet to know about the Tru Blood problem she is quite happy to go get hers …. until Tara opens her big mouth and says that by Violet drinking that their Jason problem will sort itself out.  Of course Violet hears and so wants to know why they aren’t drinking it and so the result is Violet, Jessica, Tara, Willa and Pam all end up in the white room where we see that Steve and James are in fact still alive … but Jessica recognizes the room and realizes that is where they are all going to meet the sun as seen in Bill’s vision.  Even Pam looks worried!

So quick Time Out here before I get to the finale part (where I will have even more questions) …… I want to talk about Hep V for a minute ….. now I know Nora got a nice big syringe worth straight into the veins but she then lasted less than 48 hours but she was 600 years old AND was boosted with Bill’s blood.  So why are NONE of the vamps, even the weakest level 4’s showing ANY symptoms yet?  Doesn’t make sense to me.  Surely they would at least look a little sluggish?  Hmmmmm doesn’t quite add up for me.  Probably just an oversight although even in upcoming previews we are not seeing any signs of the virus spreading through the system.  *sigh*.  Does anyone else ponder these things??

OK back to the show and Sookie is once again in full command of her Fairy powers and tells Bill to hold her hands so she can transport them both to Fairy Land where Warlow is waiting. Hmmmmm OK.  Sadly for them when they get there they see Warlow is still tied to the gravestone but definitely not looking too well…. he has been completely drained … but we know he isn’t dead as he is a vampire and not a pile of goo.   Sookie has no idea what happened but Bill just says one word …. ERIC!!!! and roll credits … and show an awesome preview for next week ……

Now here is my problem …… The whole drinking fairy rules seem to have changed.  In Season 4 when Eric drank a fairy he got nicely, and very amusingly drunk …… Jessica drank 4 fairies … and kinda sorta got high (she was a miserable drunk / high though) and nowhere near the level that Eric did … now is this because she drank baby fairies?  We know that Sookie’s blood tastes great and allows temporary day walks but no drunk feeling …. because well we assume she is part fairy?? So what is the deal here?  How did Eric get into Fairy land?? Just because he drank some fairy blood??? If that is the case Bill drunk Warlow’s blood which is obviously far stronger, AND we already know gave him a connection to him and yet Bill couldn’t find his way there but Eric could?  Dear writers can you just make up a set of rules and stick to them?  That would be much appreciated and would save me having to mull over these things for a ridiculously looooooong time and not come up with any answers BECAUSE YOU KEEP CHANGING THINGS!!!!

That being said I want it to be Sunday now …. because WAITING SUCKS!!!!!

V””V

EricS6

My Favorite Lines From “Dead Meat”

  • Pam –  “yes from everything I know about her she seems like the sharing type!”
  • Andy  – “You aren’t even 2 weeks old so no I will not get you some coffee”
  • Bill – “It seems really quite fair …. he would be doing us a rather large favor”
  • Nicole’s Mom – “May I ask how old YOU are Silver Fox”
    Andy – ” I am trying to decide if it’s going to be more uncomfortable for me in here or out there”
  • Sarah – “DIE DIE DIE …… thank you Jesus”
  • Sookie – “Destiny is too much of a bitch to keep fighting”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 6 – “Don’t You Feel Me” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Let me start by saying after last week’s epic episode I was hoping for a little more. This week for me had too much “other” stuff and not enough vampire content for me … but here we go ….

This week starts with the possessed Lafayette still trying to drown Sookie and he almost succeeds but Bill can feel she is in trouble and despite his whole “you are dead to me” speech he sends Warlow/Ben  out into the day to rescue her.  No real surprise there although Lafayette does survive (after last week I thought the “death that will rock Bon Temps” may have been him with all this going on) but Sookie recovers enough to tell Warlow/Ben not to kill him but to blast him with Fairy Light to dislodge the spirit.  Amazingly this works (I guess this season Fairy light is the equivalent of Duct Tape) and Sookie tells the spirit of her dad to go and never return. He fades off into the trees presumable never to be seen again, well either that or until they come up with some reason he needs to come back.  There was no hoodoo magic to make him stay gone so who knows (and to be honest who cares …. it was an interesting twist but this week I am over it).

Now to the part I have been waiting for ALL Week!! Pam and Eric trapped in the little display room, armed with stakes, supposed to fight each other.  Now as they circle each other like caged beasts (much to the amusement of the stupid Governor) a few little snide comments are made back and forth before they float up Matrix Style, poised and ready to fight.  UGH I am on the edge of my seat at this point just needing to know what is going to happen …. you can cut the tension with a knife!!!! Then with the slightest nod of his head Eric and Pam fly towards each other, and past each other up to the windows where the armed guards are and stake them!! Oh it was brilliant!!! then they drag the bodies down to the room and one of the guards is staked literally right through the window leaving this little stake sizes hole, surrounded in blood, for Eric to look through with one eye and say … “I see you Steve Newlin!!”.  Oh this was the best scene of this episode. Sadly more guards come in to escort the dynamic duo off but oh it was amazing!  Shame it was so near the beginning …. yes readers it is sadly all down hill from here … but there is information that we will need for next week so stay with me and I will keep you as entertained as I can.

Lafayette, Sookie and Warlow/Ben are having a little heart to heart about how messed up it is that this vampire can be out in the sun when Billith decides to “Call”  Warlow/Ben back to the house. Well we all know how well that went for Jessica and soon enough Warlow/Ben is coughing up blood and generally looking unwell but it is Sookie to the rescue.  Instead of submitting to Billith’s demands she grabs Warlow/Ben’s hands and transports him off to Fairy World. Ummmm SAY WHAT????  Yes apparently she can zap herself there whenever it suits her. Hmmm not sure that was in fact the case.  Wonder how long she will be there this year? After all last time a few minutes there turned out to be a year.

When Bill realizes that he can no longer feel Warlow/Ben he goes off to talk to Jessica who of course is not in her room because she is at “Vamp Camp” but Billith hasn’t realized that yet so rushes up to her room to find out how close he came to killing her when he called her to him at the beginning.  When he realizes she is gone he fears the worst and that what he saw in his vision was starting. Of course Bill wants to talk to Lilith but she is not being very forthcoming so he decides he needs to be in a coma.  So he has the still kidnapped scientist drain him to the point of death (by glamouring him with instructions to remove all his blood to the point of the True Death then return it to him 24 hours later) and off Bill goes to dream land to see Lilith (escorted by the 3 pointless naked, blood covered, Lilith wannabees).   Face to face with Lilith Bill in unamused by all the non answers Lilith gives and tries to blame Lilith for everything but as she points out …. he was the one that wanted this and now he can deal with it and she disappears telling him basically the time to act is now but he is on his own to do it! And act he does …. but more on that later!

Jason, meanwhile, is over at the LAVT (Louisiana Vampire Task Force) sign up center so that he can rescue Jessica from said “Vamp Camp”.  His interview is GREAT!! Jason is definitely back to being more like the Jason from earlier seasons that we adored and comes up with my favorite new word for decapitation – beheadenism!!  It is a great way to kill vamps.   Obviously with the tales he can tell and the experience he has the LAVT can’t wait to sign him up and fast track him through to main camp.  Well done Jason your plan seems to be working …. until once there he get’s introduced to Sarah Newlin.  Uh oh …. slight hiccup there but Jason plays it cool and pretends they have never met.  Sarah orders everyone to clear the room so she can spend a couple of minutes alone with the new recruit but where she plans to make him leave Jason points out that if she says one word he will tell EVERYTHING he knows about her and what a “Whore for Christ” she is.  Well that doesn’t go down too well but she keeps her mouth shut.  Oh yes Sarah Newlin is way too smart for that.  Instead she waits for her opportunity and has Jason come to one of the observation rooms to watch a “copulation study”.  Once Jason understands what copulation is he thinks that doesn’t sound too bad apart from the fact there is only one guy vamp standing in the room……until Sarah has them bring out Jessica.  Oh Sarah you really are a bitch.  James (who would have made a lovely Ben/Warlow … hope we see him again ……) won’t do it though as he says he isn’t into rape and Jessica is not willing.  Despite getting hit several times with a nasty UV blaster ray he holds his ground and it is Jessica who eventually tries to tell him it will be OK and they should just get it over with.  But James won’t do it but even after they blast him again and again they realize he won’t do it so have Jessica taken away.

So to the shifters and the wolves … yawn yawn yawn.  I really don’t know what is worse at this point .. the whining Sam storyline with that stupid Nicole tagging along or the Alcide the Asshole pack-master story with him needing someone to smack some reality sense back into him.  Well luckily for me they are all tied up this week and can be summed up easily.  Alcide’s dad did decide to tell him where Sam and Co. were (in between playing with the shifter hooker he picked up from the bar who spends all her time walking around naked and apparently eating chicken).  When Alcide arrives he decides he is unamused by the naked hooker who tells him he is a wolf and to get over it.  Anyway enough of that ….. Alcide goes to the room where Sam had been but they had gone.  Turns out Sam had called Martha and was handing Emma over to her on condition that she leaves the pack forever.  With Alcide the asshole as packmaster Martha agrees and her and Emma take off only moments before Alcide catches up with them and threatens Sam and Nicole.  Yawn Yawn Yawn.  Sam asks what happened to them being friends and Alcide basically backs down and tells Sam to go but he is officially “dead” so not to go back to Bon Temps, Shreveport, anywhere he can be recognized.  Yes well we know that isn’t going to happen.  So that was a whole waste of screen time if you ask me.  I expect next week Sam will head on back to the bar (especially when you read what happens later).

Other random info from this episode that doesn’t really fit in with anything else … Andy finally gives number 4 a name. Actually 4 names so that she can remember her sisters. Adeline, Braylin, Charlaine, Dannika.   A B C D, 1 2 3 4 ….. definitely a recurring thing this season.

Back in Fairy Land Warlow/Ben is worried about the approaching night (even though it is blazing daylight there) as he can feel it approaching back where they came from. So time difference not an issue now? *rolls eyes* More rule changes.  OK So they are there and Warlow/Ben is going to need to feed but instead he tells Sookie to tie him to the tree with some vines.  Oh yes a 5000 year old vampire tied to a tree with vines.  That should work …. or wait …. remember the Duct Tape fairy light power ….. Sookie is going to use that to bind the vines so everything will be OK.  Wonder when she got this 101 things you can use Fairy Light for manual.  It sure is coming in handy!  With Warlow/Ben all tied to the tree we get to hear more about the history, which is a lot of repeated dull stuff we already know, we learn that if Sookie and Warlow/Ben are together they can just feed off each other for eternity …. as long as Sookie becomes a vampire fae like him.  Hmmmmmmmm that is all rather stupid and convenient. But hey not my writing.  At least if she did that she could still sunbathe (which seems to be her main objection to the whole vampire thing).

Back in Bon Temps remember the whole Terry issue from last week? Well Terry turns up on Lafayette’s doorstep to give him a key to his safety deposit box and is acting very strange.  Lafayette realizes something is really wrong and calls Arlene who quickly puts 2 and 2 together and actually manages to make 4.  She knows what Terry is up to and plans to put a stop to it but doesn’t know how.  Holly actually provides the solution by having a vampire that she is friends with come and glamour Terry into forgetting everything that is wrong in his life.  Which is a great plan, but as he forgets the marines and all the bad things he also forgets that he asked someone to kill him when he was not expecting it.  Now my husband Greg came up with a GREAT situation that would have made even Alan Ball dance with glee, but sadly HBO didn’t go that route, but it was brilliant so I am going to share it anyway.  He thought it would be a real twist if when the guy was going to shoot Terry, Arlene got in the way and SHE ended up getting shot instead! And no one would have any idea why.  Now THAT would have been a story.  Instead we get Terry at work all ridiculously happy and loving life the next day, he takes the garbage out and BANG shot through the neck.  Now for a top sniper you would have thought he could have at least gone for a decent head shot and it be done with.  Instead we get time for him to be alive long enough for people to come out and for him to die in Arlene’s arms with her singing him a lullaby.  Quite touching I suppose but honestly as I sad last week I am kinda over the whole Terry story and if this is the loss that shocks Bon Temps … well I can live with that!

Back at Vamp Camp things are starting to get interesting although not enough time was spent there this week.  The Governor is really unhappy about the results of the little “Stake Experiment” and so he has other plans to torture Eric (who is shackles in a cage but still looks intimidating).  They bring in Nora, strapped to a gurney because stupid Steve Newlin has told the governor all about her too. They they inject her with Hep V …. a very very concentrated form of Hep D (yes someone on the script writing team has actually watched the whole show from the beginning) and she is going to be patient zero.  Oh this isn’t good. He wheels Nora right in front of Eric so Eric can watch her die but then as with all great villainous plots he then LEAVES and goes to see Willa who demands to be put in general population.  Yes there is a link there ….. While Willa is talking to Tara Eric “Calls” her and Tara recognizes the signs and help her devise a plan to get to Eric.  The plan actually works and it is Willa to the rescue even managing to keep the lab coat clean for Nora to wear before ripping the arm off the doctor which works to open the doors.  Hilarious!

Remember the more on Bill acting later? Well once he is revived by his scientist pet he sees the news on TV where they are explaining how Governor Burrell has partnered up and will be helping Tru Blood get back on the shelves …… AND at a discounted rate to help the vampire population get back on track and things get back to normal.  Hmmm yes something definitely wrong there!   Bill then  locks said pet in a cage and drinks the remainder of the Warlow/Ben Blood sample and then glows … and now he can walk in the sun.  He walks right out into the daylight and zips off to the Governor.  And now the bit that almost hurts to type …. Bill’s actions are actually funny and rather awesome.  He walks right into the compound with armed guards everywhere and he shows them his fangs, which totally freaks them out because the sun is shining.  So they start firing and Bill just walks on through those wooden bullets, as we know they don’t bother him right now, laughing at the pathetic humans and when he has enough  all the guards stop, guns still shakily raised, Bill has them all point the guns at each other …. and says FIRE and all the guards drop down dead in a little circle.  UGH sadly it really was a great scene to watch.  Even better he then goes right up to the Governor and has a very brief chat before sinking his fangs into his neck … and then RIPPING HIS HEAD RIGHT OFF and placing it on a nearby statue base.  In the words of Russell himself .. FANGTASTIC!!!! (Oh that really hurt to say about a Bill scene ……..guess the truth really does hurt lol)

Inside it is all systems go with Eric dressed as a guard (complete with chipped arm to open the doors) with “Doctor” Nora escorting prisoner Willa around the compound to find Pam and then Willa adds that she wants to find Tara and Jessica too which Eric doesn’t seem to care about but he does agree.  Nora is fading fast as they go from door to door but what they find behind one door suddenly explains why the Governor is keen to start supplying Tru Blood again.  Each bottle is going to come complete with a nice dose of Hep V.  It will be a disaster.  Eric maintains his composure but gives a resounding “Fuck me” as he leaves the room.  Yes this is bad for the vampires on a grand scale.

And so we reach the end and to finish this week we get some naked slutty Sookie (who we learn has the nickname “Danger Whore”.  I will stick with Slutty Sookie) and Warlow/Ben action.  Yes he is still tied to a tree but after re-enforcing the vines with some more fairy light she leans over so he can feed …. and then she returns the favor. Ummmmm WHAT??? Yes she takes a nice bite out of his neck and drinks to (presumably) heal her neck wound (we see it heal) and gather some strength for the sex they are about to have.  Honestly I could have done without this.  It was not really sexy, although credit where it is due for just having had twins Anna’s body looks great!!! I was going to say the scene was rather lack luster but then as it ended with them glowing, literally, as they go at it I guess lack luster probably wasn’t the best term.  We end with the glowing expanding out from them and getting brighter …….

And then the credits roll.  Will this light experiment zap them back to reality? Who knows. Stranger things have happened on this show.  The previews for next week look amazing, with Eric begging Billith to save Nora …. but then the trailers for this week fooled me too.  One this is for sure …. Waiting Sucks … and with only 4 episodes I hate that we are almost at the end already *sigh*.  At least we know there is a Season 7 to look forward to 😀

V””V

 

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My Favorite Lines From “Don’t You Feel Me”

  • Lafayette – “Let me get this hetro-staight”
  • Jason – “Beheadenism”
  • Jennie – “Come on we’re werewolves … butch the fuck up!”
  • Terry – “There’s No “The Fuck” “
  • Eric – “Are You Mad That I Turned Your Daughter Into My Daughter”
  • Willa – “Wow I’m Dead And You Are STILL Being Overprotective”
  • Eric – “Well Done Baby Vampire”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 5 – “**** The Pain Away” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So let me start by saying this week’s episode jumped all over the place making you REALLY have to pay attention to stay with what was going on.  Now usually I try and “group” a bunch of split up parts together for smoother reading but I think that there will be less of that this week as the jumping back and forth really sort of added to the whole crazy feel.  Yes that is my decision and we will see how that works. 😀  Oh yes and that means this is going to be looooong … so you might want to go get a drink before starting lol.

This week starts right where last week left off with Ben/Warlow in a compromising position over a half-naked Sookie who is threatening him with her light ball.  OK even as I read that I was thinking “only in a True Blood review would that even make sense!” …. So yes Sookie is being all badass (although she lets him up so they are now wandering around the room – her still with her magic light ball – him looking a lot less concerned than he should) when Sookie lets out a tirade about how sick she is of vampires and them saying they love her when all they want to do is hurt her, drink her blood blah blah blah.  In Ben/Warlow’s defense (I am really going to have to choose a name for him this 2 name thing is annoying ME already) …..He is a daywalker so I don’t think her blood is really a priority to him …. and I don’t actually think he wants to kill her.  Of course if he was a sexier being then I would probably be even more on his side …. seriously?? Casting director??  What happened there?  Did you decide we had enough man/vamp candy on the screen because let me assure you YOU WERE WRONG!!!!

And now we jump to Jessica and Bill (Yes right in the middle of the Sookie drama) and Jessica is distraught and sobbing having eaten all 4 of Andy’s fairy kids. Just as I was thinking … hmmmmmm Eric drank one fairy and got all drunk and happy …. Jessica drinks 4 and is sobbing and remorseful – what’s up with that …… the “High” part kicks in and she decides she needs to make a pass .. at BILL!! EWWWWWWW UGH really?? That was not a scene that EVER needed to be written.  Gross, unnecessary, *shudders* just NO!!!  Luckily Bill realizes she is high and pushes her away but that image is just still there for everyone to see. Jessica would definitely be the annoying drunk girl at a party …. but Bill goes into Daddy mode and says they will work it all out… after all he pretty much thinks he is a God now.

Back at Sookies Ben / Warlow reveals some interesting news. According to him he DIDN’T kill Sookie’s parents because he is some mean old vampire … he did it because her parents were going to KILL HER and HE saved her.  Ummmmm WHAT????  Yes that is what he is claiming and the way he is acting you have to wonder if he is actually telling the truth.  He certainly doesn’t seem to be in any kind of a hurry to kill her now. Sookie is not amused though and zaps him with her light…. which triggers Bill at his house to start having all sorts of flashback visions and then things just go crazy …..

Bill rushes over to Sookies and even Sookie points out that she thought she was dead to him …. but he is not there to save her,  Oh no .. he is there to pick up Ben/Warlow … and …. AS HIS MAKER command him to come back with him.  Ummmm WHAT???? And then I took 2 seconds to work it out and yes I suppose … in theory … if Bill is now Lillith incarnate and the Vampire bible made Warlow Lilith’s progeny then yes Bill would be able to order him around …. interesting …..  Oh and side note to Sookie … it is pretty hard to stand there looking intimidating in your underwear with a pretty light ball in your hand.

Opening credits roll (yes ALL that happened in less than 5 minutes before them) and we come back to Andy turning up at the Compton manor looking for his 4 girls.  Awwww poor Andy 😦  I actually felt sorry for him …. and then I thought OH NO he is going to DIE … but he doesn’t…. well not in this episode anyway.  He searches the room and finds his 4 girls laying there, all apparently dead.  Jessica is hiding but probably not well enough if Andy hadn’t been distracted by one of his girls actually having managed to survive and hanging on to life by a thread.  So he does what any good dad would do in Bon Temps, pick her up, take her to the Sheriff’s station and give her some V out of the evidence boxes to fix her right up.  Well it works at least!  As for the other 3 we are yet to see what is going to happen with them.  They kinda skirt the whole issue of the bodies in the rest of the episode …. does Bill come back and get rid of them??  We know Andy doesn’t go back there as Holly talks him out of what would obviously be a suicide mission.  Hmmmmmmm Apparently the story is going to be that 3 of them went off with their Fairy mama.  Not really that convincing if you ask me …. but then again the town just watched the girls grow from babies to almost adults in less than a week … so I guess that would work.

Off to the vampires that I actually DO care about seeing .. well one of them anyway.  Tara goes to find Eric (who apparently hasn’t moved since we saw him last week) and explains that Pam has been taken by the LAVTF (for those that missed it last week Louisiana Vampire Task Force) and she wants to know what they are going to do.  And Eric’s grand plan is apparently turn themselves in and try a rescue from the inside out.  I’M SORRY WHAT???? That has got to be the stupidest plan ever!! Did they not live through last season with the whole being locked down by the Authority.  Maybe that is the problem.  Maybe Eric thinks that because he got out of that he can get out of anything that humans will have come up with.  Oh I KNOW this is a bad idea as I sit here yelling at the screen “WHAT ARE YOU THINKING” …… not that it makes any difference because Eric isn’t listening and so him AND Tara surrender and off to vampire camp they go. *sigh*

Talking of the “Vampire Camp” we get a brief glimpse as Pam is walked through it to see what they are up to … at least in some of the rooms.  Scientists are pulling fangs, and watching vampires have sex.  As Pam points – lots of scientific value in that. We see Eric and Tara being escorted through … hoods on …. and Eric says find Pam.  Does he really think he is still in control?? Ugh MEN!!

And then we are off to the Governor’s mansion as he has to send his poor baby Willa to vampire camp.  Now really?  That’s not nice! But with Sarah egging him on it looks like there is no choice but if this is going to happen then he is going to be the one to take her.  Much to Sarah’s dismay … she has on her sexy black lingerie and thinks this is the time to talk about having another baby.  Yep she definitely has more than one screw loose although she did make me laugh. (She made my favorite lines list at the bottom of the page 😀 )

And so back to Bill and Ben/Warlow and all the craziness going on there.  Bill is using the whole “As Your Maker” thing to basically stay alive but as he takes Ben/Warlow’s blood we get a bunch of flashbacks to when he was turned by Lilith.  I saw again ….. Why couldn’t they have found someone sexier for this role.  Especially as we get to see him naked and having sex with Lilith.  Oh this could have been really sexy …. but wasn’t.  Thus Ben / Warlow was created and we learn that he was actually Niall’s father and I am guessing that is why he spared that child alone in the village.  Whilst this is all very relevent and necessary knowledge to be honest I would happily have skipped all of this for more time in Vampire camp.  Bottom line … Billith controls Ben/Warlow and thinks he will be their salvation even though it turns out he was the one responsible for Lilith’s death (he fried her with the sun as she slept) and Ben/Warlow thinks all vampires should probably just die and he wants to go play with Sookie.  OK Maybe not quite as simple as that .. but good enough.

Sarah decides after being left abandoned by Governor to take Willa to camp that the best person to go see is Jason. As Jason points out they didn’t exactly part on good terms but I guess Sarah is horny and wants to get laid and there is no one she likes better.  And get laid she does.  Finally some sex on the screen this season that doesn’t make me go Ewww!!! Now if we can just get some decent vampire Sex this season will get better still!!!  Hot and steamy action aside Sarah is still a major bitch.  As they lay recovering from their antics there is a knock at the door, well more like a frantic pounding, from Jessica who is still high on Fairy blood and doesn’t know what she wants to do other than tell someone how bad she is.

She is trying to have a philosophical debate about whether Bill could be God or the Devil and about Love …. but she is trying to do this with Jason …… and bless his heart he just has no idea what is going on.  But he obviously cares about her …. and seems to have forgotten there is vampire hating bitch up in his bed and it isn’t too surprising to us when Sarah comes down to join the little party and as awkward as it could be with 2 people you have slept with in the same room, this tension is up about 1000 times higher.  Poor Jason is stuck in the middle ….. literally … of these 2 crazy women, for a moment anyway until Jessica crosses the room to attack (or try to have sex with) Sarah … she is a little mixed up right now. Mixed up enough that Sarah quoting the bible at her is enough to make her stop?? hmmmmm OK let’s blame the fairy high for that one because that is ridiculous! But not as ridiculous as Sarah being able to rescind the invitation to Jason’s house … Ummmmm even Jason knows that’s NOT how it works and tells Sarah she can’t do that because it is HIS house … but the supernatural rules, for whatever reason, do not care and out the door Jessica goes, right into the arms of the waiting LAVTF that Sarah has called.  Not good! So quick vampire count here we now have pretty much our full main vampire cast at the Vampire Camp ….. Pam, Eric, Nora (who we don’t see this week), Tara and Jessica. So I say let’s have a whole episode in there 😀 but sadly no …….

 Well we knew it had to happen eventually and sure enough we have to deal with Alcide and his issues over finding Emma which apparently means he has to go hunting in a dive bar with his dad.  This week continues with Alcide the asshole with his pack master fever and he even turns on his father when he tries to give him a little advice and tells him to leave and literally throws money at him to get him to clear off. Well whatever.  For me this storyline is dumb and dull and I don’t know what the writer’s are thinking with his character but I was never a wolf fan to start with but by the end of this season he won’t have any fans left … well none with brains anyway.

As for where Sam is, well him, Nicole and Emma are still in the motel with Nicole having major regrets about the night before’s little action.  She is so stupid she tries to go and make a phone call but Sam stops her causing a big fight outside where people can see. And who should see … but Alcide’s dad!  I guess with the money that was supposed to get him home he decided to hire a hooker and go to a motel instead.  Now the decision is going to be ….. does he go running to Alcide and try and win back favor … or does he just ignore it and start his life over.  Because he is a wolf, and thus in my estimation stupid to start with, I am guessing he is going to go with the former.  That and of course it will make things much easier for the writers to explain how Alcide the Asshole found them when all his leads are coming up dead lol

Keeping all the things I couldn’t care less about together, Terry has invited an old colleague “Justin” to Merlotte’s to “catch up”.  Even Justin is not buying that is the reason and Terry soon admits that he actually wants to pay Jessie to kill him because of what he did to Patrick.  Arlene comes over obviously realising something is up but can’t do much about it other than try to get Terry to come away which he says he will in just a couple minutes.  After that Justin seems rather keen to help Terry out and agrees that he will do it for free.  Obviously there is more history there than we are getting but I really couldn’t care less.  This whole story line is just taking up valuable time that could be spent at the vampire camp!  DULL DULL DULL.  I used to really like Terry but at this point I don’t think I even care whether they follow through with this or not.  *YAWN*.

Back at vampire camp we get to see what they get up to when they catch the vampires.  They put them in a room with 3 other vampires and drop balls from the ceiling.  Rules are easy (although not explained) …. 4 vamps 3 balls … catch a ball or get shot with something nasty …. doesn’t kill them as no goo piles.  3 vamps .. 2 balls … catch a ball or get shot….  Eric actually seems to be enjoying this,  And why wouldn’t he? After all I am pretty sure that most 1000 year old vampires have gone into hiding with all this stuff going on.  So you have the rules now and there are 2 vamps left….. so 1 ball right?? Wrong!! 2 doors open and there are guns behind them and well the poor vamp left standing with Eric didn’t stand a chance.  He had his gun and had shot her before she could barely even get to hers.  Shame. Well not really …. as much as I am pro vamps it was kinda fun to watch Eric being all superior and really treating it as a game.  I really get the impression at this point he thinks he is so superior that nothing they do can phase him.  Oh Eric … pride comes before disaster ….. yes I know that’s wrong but it’s my blog and that works for me!

With Eric champion in his little game we see him moved to “general population” with a blue suit with a number 1 on it.  As he announced to the rest of the vamps in his area who he is and why he is there we see that all the vampires are wearing the same blue clothes with numbers between 1 and 4 on them. Fairies 1 – 4 …. Vampires 1 – 4 …. wonder if there will be some kind of easter egg with that.  Probably not. More likely me over obsessing again …… anyway where was I … oh yes Eric acting like he owns the room and then being totally ignored by the other vampires.  They must “feel” his power though because they all back away and leave him to his own space.

Meanwhile Pam (who is also a 1) is in a meeting with a psychiatrist called Finn played excellently by Pruitt Taylor Vince.  Pam, as we all know is not a big fan of “sharing” and volunteers her services in the room where they are watching the vampires have sex but Finn is not having any of that.  He manages to convinces her to share by bringing in a live donor (who by the end of it would probably be dead if Pam hadn’t decided she had had enough because Finn was definitely more interested in getting answers, and possibly watching a little girl on girl, rather than the donor making it through the process).  Pam is brilliant in this scene making it quite clear what she thinks about humans and about pretty much everything in general.  It was great to see more of the old Pam back, faltering only slightly when the subject of makers came up, but even then she was back in full sarcasm mode rather quickly, but not so quickly that Finn didn’t notice the reaction.

Jessica meets up with Tara in their part of the vampire camp (note they are both 3’s) and Jessica is still having her little breakdown as she comes down from her fairy high.  She doesn;t even want the little cup of blood offered to her and gives it to Tara which almost sparks a fight with Tara stepping in front to guard her but some random “ranked 1” vamp steps up and puts a stop to it all.  She then lets Tara and Jessica know she feels “owed”. Hmmmmm just like prison then but as to what role she will play is yet to be seen.

Willa arrives at camp and see’s Tara but isn’t allowed to be with her as she is “special” and doesn’t go into general population.   She gets her own little room all locked away by herself.  Special or not it doesn’t stop the pervy guard from making suggestive remarks and when Willa points out who her father is she is reminded, by said pervy guard, that her father put her in there.  Hmmmm think on that Willa!  Don’t worry though …. I have a feeling Eric will be a lot more annoyed when he finds out so revenge may yet be yours.

Back in Bon Temps Sookie has decided to take things into her own hands about the whole Ben/Warlow revelation and does what anyone would do …. go find a medium.  Yay more Lafayette!! Love that he was totally unphased when she reveals that the creepy thing in her bathroom had turned out to be a vampire fairy hybrid who had escaped from another dimension.  Where else are you going to get lines like that?  Awesome!! So off they go to have a nice little séance at Sookie’s house to see what Sookie’s parents have to say about the whole them trying to kill her claims.  Turns out, this was not such a good plan!  Firstly they don’t want to come and talk, and then when they do things get even worse with a flashback to Sookie’s childhood where it is revealed that her dad did in fact try to kill her rather than her become a vampire fairy princess, and THEN he takes over Lafayette’s body and decides that he is going to carry out the drowning plan that he started back then and poor possessed Lafayette wrestles Sookie into the trunk of her car.  Oh this is not good!!

Continuing with the bad ideas Jason has decided that he needs to rescue Jessica and to do that he needs to get into vampire camp and so he is off to join the LAVTF.  He tries to call Sookie, who probably would have told him what a bad idea this was, but she is locked in the trunk of the car by the possessed Lafayette so isn’t answering.  With no one to stop him sign up he does and of course with his history they are thrilled to get him.  How many vampires have you killed Jason ….. he answers This week?  Yep definitely their kind of asshole.  Let’s hope for a Jason from the end of S2 ….. fellowship of the sun paintball style.  That I could get behind lol.

With Sookie trapped in the trunk of the car we flash over to Bill’s where Ben/Warlow is having a little freak out and threatening the scientist.  Now is this because he can sense Sookie is in danger? This isn’t specified but I am going to go with probably yes and that is how she will be saved.  After all she is dead to Bill although maybe he will feel her danger and send Ben/Warlow … not quite got the exact details worked out but I am pretty sure that next week something related to this will result in Sookie getting saved…. after all they aren’t going to kill her off.

Now we might know that , but the possessed Lafayette has other ideas as he brings her to the lake and is about to drown her …. head shoves under the water she screams but can’t escape …. and we have to wait until next week to see if my theories are correct …..

More frightening than that is what is going on over at Vampire Camp … after all we all know Sookie isn’t going to get drowned.  We get to see Sarah Newlin bringing the Governor in for a “surprise”.  At first things seem a little weird because the surprise would appear to be Sarah’s gay ex husband Steve and the Governor is not amused.  But then they bring Eric into a room on the other side of the glass and things become a little clearer.  They have the vampire that turned his Willa and they are going to have some “fun” with him.  Eric seems rather unbothered by this although is clearly not happy when he finds out that Willa is in the camp.  Seriously what kind of father does that? But he is game to play along and tells them to bring him something to kill. After all, he is 1000 years old, not much in there that will stop him. Things turn nasty though because Steve has been providing intel …. Steve who by the way only rates a 4 in their system which I found hilarious….. he is soooooooooooo a 4 lol …… anyway the intel provided is just not good.  Eric’s opponent is Pam.  Oh this is not good!!  Eric and Pam trapped in a room with 2 stakes and both of them just standing there.  Sarah is unamused and wants them to just FIGHT but they just don’t move.  Oh there will be no answers this week …..

Even worse we get to see trailers for next week and Eric is in the room and Pam asks him about him making another vampire and she looks MAD and then we see the Governor laughing and saying here we go … and then we see Eric looking through a hole in blood splattered  glass and a stake shaped hole  and he sees’ Steve and Steve looks scared!!!   Oh no please tell me this is just being set up to look like he killed Pam …. he couldn’t …. Oh Eric don’t do it … PLEASE let this be an HBO trailer tease and a reveal of something totally different next week.

UGH WAITING SUCKS   😥

V””V

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My Favorite Lines From  “**** The Pain Away”

  • Sarah – “When A Woman Comes To You In Black Lingerie … You Unwrap Her!”
  • Jason – “I guess that’s good because Steven turned out to be a gay vampire”
  • Jenny (Hooker at bar) – “I don’t see why a big male wolf like you can’t find no pussy in a pack he claims he runs but I sure like the looks of you so you won’t hear me complaining”
  • Sarah – “I am NOT Steve Newlin’s ex-wife I am my OWN person!”
  • Sarah – “My Body Is A Temple and you have DEFILED it with your vampire loving pecker!”
  • Pam – “Your insignificance to me cannot be underestimated … you are food … nothing else!”
  • Pam – “I like to think of myself as especially unremorseful”
  • Sarah – “Haven’t You Seen Gladiator …. Fucking FIGHT!”