My Gothic Romance – From Vampires To Serial Killers V””V

The darkness has always called to me. While others are screaming for the monster to be killed I often find myself feeling bad for the creature who is only following their inner nature.  The vampire who loves and wants to turn the girl only to be rejected (and usually destroyed) all because he wanted eternity with them?  The Phantom that would give everything for the one he loves only to be rejected because obsession is seen as wrong? The serial killer who cuts off his hand rather than simply killing the agent with whom he has obviously fallen in love?  I have shed many tears for the fallen “monsters”, the beautiful creatures who live in the dark. Be they vampires or other I know I see things in a way that few others agree with, but those that understand, I mean really understand, will embrace my latest musings the way I embrace the veil of “otherness” that I find myself so often on the wrong side of.

Now vampires have been a “hot topic” for a while.  You can barely turn around without a “new” vampire book emerging, or with the Twilight Saga coming to a close producers desperately searching for the next tween vamp sensation (The Vampire Academy Movie would be my guess at their best shot).  Then of course you have the TV regulars, True Blood gearing up for Season 6, the Vampire Diaries just finishing Season 4 and a 5th Season and a spin-off show picked up, and the much buzz about new NBC drama Dracula.  Yes the vampires are everywhere (Still none that have stolen my heart in the way that Mitchell and crew did from the first 3 seasons of Being Human) but they are out in force.

But the thing that is amusing me is the sudden fascination with Serial Killers.  Now this is a little different for the mainstream audience.  Of course there has always been the big hits such as Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal, where it was shown how charismatic a serial killer could be.  You know that what he was doing was wrong but you couldn’t help but like him….. but find him romantic?  I cried because I thought  Hannibal choosing to sacrifice his arm rather than killing Agent Starling was just so beautiful.  Yes people looked at me as if I was crazy but I didn’t care.  There was something there.  Something darkly beautiful that called to me.  I knew why he did what he did and I thought it wonderful.

NBC have tried to bring this to the small screen but whilst I am enjoying the show, I find that the actor they chose for Hannibal is not working for me.  I don’t feel for him the way I want to, although his dinner parties are definitely amusing and the writing is superb, but for me there is no connection. I would not mourn were he to be captured.  I would not will him to escape, and I find that although I am intrigued by his plans I make no effort to seek out any further information that may be out there.   This was one step up from Dexter though.  Perhaps the first attempt to bring serial killers to television but for some reason it failed to hook me.  Still unsure as to why and I keep meaning to give it another shot, but as yet haven’t bothered.

Back to Hannibal and his casting being a complete contrast to the other TV Serial Killer featured in FOX’s The Following.  With this series having just ended I am feeling somewhat at a loss with what to do with my Monday evenings.  I miss the chapters that Joe Carroll was writing and I miss his cryptic emails and posts on Twitter.  Now do not get confused here.  It is not the actor that I am obsessing over, it is the character and it is HIS emails etc that I am missing.  With his love of Poe and completely insane agenda, he has managed, in the show, to almost hypnotize people to help him with his plan.  He is gorgeous and charming, and even as he is brutally murdering an innocent girl to teach the naughty police a lesson, I am with him 100%.  I know on some level this is wrong.  I should not be willing this serial killer to escape and encourage others to go on a murdering rampage so that he can write a book about it.  But I don’t care.  I screamed at the TV as his wife, whom he adores, betrayed him. I even yelled at him for being weak and deciding that sleeping with someone else would be OK.  I squealed like a 14-year-old fan girl when he sent me a “Tweet” before the finale asking if I wanted to see the final chapter.  I scoured through hidden messages to find coded videos and secret messages with clues that  linked to the show.  I was, and still am  hooked.

So where, does that leave me?  I am lucky in that I have my soul mate (who as far as I know is not a serial killer), that laughs at my obsessions but never tries to dissuade me.  I have a few select friends that visit with me in the darkness and smile as they know that the reality is closer than strangers would ever believe, and I have the world inside my head.  The blacks and the reds and the fields of grey where I find my peace. 




Oh a little addendum to this …. For those that feel like a wander through some dark thrilling literature I would suggest checking out Kitten K Jackson.  It is not normally something I do, advertising books, but this is a little different.  These books, Keeping Secrets and the Sequel Keeping Secrets II are not for everyone.  This is not a “happy ever after” tale.  It is a tale of obsession.  A tale of dark desires. A tale of a different kind of love.

Check them out HERE!


Zombies Are The New Vampires? V””V

Over the years many movies featuring these undead creatures have populated the big screen with hits such as Night Of The Living Dead, The Evil Dead, Dawn Of The Dead moving forward to the more recent takes on it such as Zombieland, Shaun Of  The Dead, and of course the Resident Evil series spawned from the video game by the same name so it was no surprise that with the success of shows such as True Blood and the Vampire Diaries that they would make the move to the small screen with the hit show The Walking Dead.

Now for me there has never been any appeal in the Zombie genre at all.  I mean really? Be they infected with a virus, created by scientific experiments, or created by some form of magic one thing remains the same.  They are basically animated, usually rotting, corpses with no real thought process, unable to feel pain, and difficult to stop.  Obviously, as with the vampire genre there are many variations on the theme and the rules vary depending on the writer but where as Vampires are often portrayed as sexy and magnetic (even if they just use this ability to lure victims) the same can definitely not be said about Zombies.

But the rules have just been changed.  Warm Bodies has taken the Zombie and totally rewritten the rules.  They have a teen character that can FEEL!  Now having not read the book or seen the movie I don’t pretend to know the reason or the logic behind this but suddenly this is putting a whole new spin on the Zombie genre.

Teenage girls are falling in love with a Zombie! Of course for the die-hard Vampire fans such as myself this wouldn’t be an issue but as I have made many observations about the Vampire trend and where that was heading I must confess I find this a little intriguing.  Even a year ago I would never have put any credence in Zombies replacing Vampires and the fad for the masses but now who knows?   Perhaps this will indeed be the start of Vampires and their real fans retreating back into the shadows where we lived for so many years.  It will be interesting to see where exactly this leads.  While Vampires have always had their hunters, they have always had their advocates too.  This is the first time (that I am aware of at least) that suddenly Zombies are not just the hunted but are being perceived as victims?  How will this impact the Zombie Apocalypse? Will people be less anxious to attack first and ask questions never? Will years of conditioning that there are no thinking Zombies remain prevalent?

All questions that in the grand scheme of things have no impact on anything other than the fact that the thoughts in my head often refuse to turn off and tend to focus on more of the bizarre.  TV Show “The Deadliest Warrior” surmised that should if come down to a battle between the two species the Vampires would win …. but would this change with the new information factored in? A Zombie capable of thought?

Me? I am sticking with my Vampires. They have held my heart for the last 25 years and will continue to do so forever. My thoughts for the zombies …. we have ample sharp weaponry in this house to deal with that problem!



Vampires vs Zombies

(Picture from

Chaos And My So Called Life ….. V””V

Wow where has the time gone.  No my vampire loving readers I have not abandoned my blog, but the real world and various commitments therein seem to have taken over, and before I knew it 2 months have gone by and I haven’t been in here.  That does not mean that there are any less crazy vampyric based musings floating around in this place that calls itself my brain but the general insanity that permeates my day-to-day existence has not granted me the ability to get in here and share those musings with you (or with myself if everyone has now disappeared).

So let me start by saying my absence from here did allow everyone on here to escape my crazy political rants which usually ended up with me saying how much more sense a vampire hierarchical society makes.  Of course if you screw up under their rule you are dead … but hey the rules are the rules and you know them before you start so that seems pretty fair.  The strong rise to the top, the weaker are protected, and everyone knows where they stand.  Doesn’t that sound like a much better idea.  Of course not everyone could be a part of this because we would still need food but hey natural order of things and all that!

Which brings me to the lack of order of things on Television.  I am finding vampire television rather lacking at the moment.  I am not a big Vampire Diaries fan (I only watch it when my daughter has it on), True Blood is on Hiatus (and not sure how that is going to be when it comes back with rumors flying thick and fast about 6 being the final season and who knows what they are going to do with “Billith” and the insane fairy thing), and Being Human just doesn’t work for me without Mitchell *Sigh*!   I have had limited success with vampire movies with Lincoln Vampire Hunter being a surprising hit in this house with the portrayal of vampires being very pleasing to me and the idea of Vampires having a hand in the Civil war …. genius.  Of course to counter that we had the epic fail that was Dark Shadows …… I am not even going there.  That was just kind of a nothing 2 hours spent.

And then there is my so-called regular life.  When you try to fit in children with Cheerleading, plays, football games, and about 300 other commitments, running vampire pages, promoting and editing books, etc etc etc you suddenly wish that you had access to a TARDIS to create a couple of extra non fixed time points!

Until then just know that I have plans and those plans include getting back in here …. but this was just a quick visit for any fans still hovering to let you know I am still around …… I am still obsessed and full of future musings …. I just need to master the time space continuum and all will be good!!


The Taming Of The Vampire V””V

Today’s musings are a culmination of many thoughts and discussions that I have had with my lovely Lauren. I simply want to know this …. what is with society and it’s obsession with taming, or fixing, vampires?

Looking around at vampire culture as it stands right now I am amazed at how widely appealing vampires seem to have become over the last few years, and then I look again and see that it is not vampires as I love them, but rather a pale imitation of the darkness I fell in love with. Many people may say that Twilight is to blame with its broad appeal to young and old, and the beautiful love story beneath it, although if you ask me Twilight itself can definitely be read from a darker angle and really it is a tale of obsession that ends with the human being turned into a vampire….. but to be honest I usually stick Twilight and all its connotations in a separate pocket marked “not bad story idea”, and keep it out of my vampyric thoughts.

Twilight, however, is not really to blame as this “fixing” issue has been around for many years.  Probably first really noticeable in the Buffy series with Angel (who was always so much more appealing as Angellus) and then Spike who was the quintessential “Bad Boy” vamp until he fell in love … and “died” to save the world …. YUCK!

Then of course with TV you have the latest 3 incarnations, True Blood, Being Human (2 versions) and The Vampire Diaries.  True Blood emerged 5 years ago on HBO and was different and gritty and even referred to as “vampire porn”.  What started out with really little more than a cult following has become a huge success over the last 5 years launching careers and Alan Ball trying to push the boundaries but sadly sometimes missing the mark as boundaries are being pushed just for the sake of pushing rather than with a purpose.  Do not get me wrong though I will be there, glued to the set on June 10th, along with several million other people, a statistic that I would have thought years ago would never be mentioned in the same sentence as a vampire show.

Then you have Being Human, a small UK show that (at least for the first 3 seasons) was dark, different, and in my opinion compulsive viewing.  Of course the USA had to copy it but the remake is a pale imitation of the original which is so often the case and this will no longer be mentioned.  Back to the UK version and you get to meet some “Real” vampires.  Ivan and Daisy who I adore and who love being vampires and all that it involves, they kill, they laugh, they fight, and they dote on each other.  They love the adventure that being a vampire brings and have no love lost for humans.  Then there is Mitchell, who at his best destroys a train full of people because he has been betrayed by a human. The rawness, the loss of control, the complete abandonment to their nature, THIS is what I want to see.  Oh and we can’t forget Lauren, my lovely Lauren who rips out the throat of a pretty young blond outside a pub … because she can!

Oh and a very brief mention to The Vampire Diaries, mainly because I don’t really watch it but in the clips I have seen at least Damon seems to enjoy being a vampire so props for that but at the end of the day it is a show aimed at teenagers, so sadly I feel it will never compel me to view.

And so we move to literature and the complete flooding in the marketplace right now of vampire based fiction.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love that there are so many options out there and yes I do read pretty much all of them, including the Young Adult books which often have some of the more interesting historical ideas. But when it comes down to it I want the darkness.  Give me Laurell K Hamilton and the darkness that lives in her head, Give me Jeaniene Frost and her vampires that embrace who they are, Give me Anne Rice and her beautiful brat prince, but please, please so not ask my vampires to change.

I do not want them “Fixed”, I do not want them “Tamed”, I want them DARK, and VIOLENT, and I don’t want them being sorry about it afterwards.  I don’t want them to pine for their humanity I want them to embrace the darkness that is in essence for me what a vampire is.

Am I wrong? In reality the point it mute as society will at least move on to new things when they tire of this “fad”.  I have already been told that “Zombies” are the new vampires.  Well then little sheep go chase a zombie, although what you are going to find sexy in that is way beyond me.  Perhaps you are just looking for something to kill? Perhaps in fact society is darker in its thoughts than I am ….. now THAT is something to be scared of lol ….


The Real World Is Not As Vamp-Centric As I Feared …….. V””V

At first glance the world today seems to be filled with vampyric offerings and a general feeling that vampires are no longer the domain of the slightly weird, outcast emo goth teenagers that they were once perceived to be.  With Twilight, The Vampire Diaries, and even some of the more adult based shows such as True Blood have introduced vampires into the mainstream as never before.  Books are springing up as paranormal romance jumps to an all time high and the “vegetarian” vampire who only drink from animals or bottled synthetic blood are making these dark creatures more accessible to everyday people than ever.  You can’t turn around without seeing a “TEAM” T-shirt.  So where does this leave the REAL vampire lovers? Those of us that crave and adore the darkness and the destruction, the hidden evil that walks among us, the monster, the demon, the fantasy killer.

Well fear not because as “comfortable” as the world would like to think it is with the creatures of the night, when they come face to face with something a little “different” they revert to their true state … that of fear and confusion ….. the knowledge that vampires are in fact death and not sparkly adorable teenagers who chase down deer for dinner.

This weekend I was feeling particularly vampy (those of you that know me from reality will know that this is not that unusual) so fully vamped out I left the confines of my dwelling to do “normal” everyday stuff (visit Starbucks, hit the grocery store … take the kids to Chuck E Cheeses ….) and was amazed (and thrilled) at the reactions I received.  As a side note I would like to point out that my God-children  (4 and 6 thought I looked beautiful … no fear from them ….. and my friends told me I was sexy … always fun …. and my husband … well lets just say I KNOW he liked it … even though he made me retract the fangs prior to the Chuck E Cheese visit lol).

First stop was Starbucks where one barista literally ran to the back room and the other completely refused to make eye contact with me even though I was the one placing the order and he would only look at my friend.  Particularly loved the shaking hand as he reached to take the money.  Of course it probably didn’t help that Starbucks is featuring a collection of ridiculously tiny, mini food snacks and when I asked what the deal was with that my friend Brandi said, without missing a beat, those are for the tea-cup humans!! Yes my friends and I live in a world where EVERYTHING can be linked to vampires!!

After Starbucks we headed to the local grocery store and the fun continued.  From the girl who backed away from the ATM  so that we could go first (and then cowered away from us on a bench), to the shoppers that couldn’t decide whether to stare or run (most opted for just moving away … far, far away), to the checkout girl who refused to meet my eye.  Yes my readers the world is not as comfortable with vampires as it would like us to believe.  It is hard to decide what was my favorite moment while grocery shopping ….. the guy that walked past 3 times staring as we waited to pay (until I glared at him and ran my tongue over my fangs and he ran so fast I thought my friend Brandi was going to pee her pants before she paid), or the people in the parking lot hiding behind their cars and ducking out the way whilst scanning continuously for the hidden cameras and the chance that they might make it on TV.  Hilarious!!

But wait … the fun doesn’t end there. Once my adoring husband returned from work we, together with our friends Brandi and Sarah, took the kids to Chuck E Cheese. (Click HERE to see what Chuck E Cheese is if you are not familiar with it.) Now those of you that have read Jeaniene Frost will know that Chuck E Cheese and Vampires do not have to be separated.  In fact there were many comments passed around our table regarding silver throwing stars and a certain giant mouse (Night Huntress is REQUIRED reading to understand that ….) but I digress …… so off to Mouseville (Or as I nicknamed it HELL) with Fangs retracted (*sigh* …. My husband really does like children and I see his point I suppose that it is MEANT to be a child’s type place) …. to get my amusement by seeing how many people I could freak out in this supposed Twilight adoring, vampire loving world we now live in.  The answer was A LOT :D!!!.  Almost as soon as we entered I was rewarded by a child running and hiding in his fathers arms much to Sarah’s amusement.  Adults generally avoided me or tried to sneak glances without appearing to, children for the most part ran away but there were exceptions.  A particularly beautiful girl of perhaps 5 or 6 kept smiling shyly at me as she stood by her mother, I think she will grow up to be a vamp fan, and a child of perhaps a year at the table next to us rewarded me with a smile despite his parents obvious unamusement.

They were, fortunately, in the minority and the fact that I made a child cry filled my heart with joy .. yes I am evil but so is that place!!! If I never have to go again that will work for me! I am not sure which thrilled me the most .. the frightened  children or the obvious fear of the grown ups who should know better.  One brave man did take a picture, without permission, but the trying to hide what he was doing rather than asking belied his attempt at a brave appearance and provided much amusement at our table.

In summation the world I am glad to report is not as in love with vampires as I feared.  They remain sacred and feared by the majority despite the fake love and devotion the wannabees confess too.  When the possibility of a vampire confronts them, most will flee from the killer that deep down in their subconscious they recognize is a vampire’s true nature and no amount of sparkles can replace that knowledge.


Me – this weekend V””V