True Blood Season 7 Ep 5 – “Lost Cause” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….and we are halfway through already 😦 ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Well I have to say, after last week’s enjoyment, this week was definitely not as good for me BUT it did have it’s moments and they are definitely setting up for something big …… “Good Big” or “Bad Big” … honestly? who the hell knows with this show but the twists and turns just keep on coming.

We start this week back at Fangtasia and Eric and Pam setting up to depart to hunt for the elusive Sarah Newlin.   Willa is none to thrilled with this plan and says (after a huge Mommy and Daddy issue rant) she has information that she will give them IF Eric releases her.  At this point I can only assume that Eric just doesn’t really care that much about Willa because he does it.  Me, personally, I would have had Eric laugh and just command her to tell him as he commanded her to go with them last week.  That little maker trick never gets old for me….. BUT this does allow Pam and Eric to road trip alone …… so be it!  Willa informs them about Sarah’s hidden vamp sister so off to Dallas our intrepid vamps go, courtesy of Anubis airlines and their nifty travel coffins (although as my husband pointed out … it is still NIGHT when they left…. could they not get in the coffins at the airport just before they fly???) ….. Well if they had we would have missed Ginger and her screaming!  She is none to thrilled by this turn of about yelling that she has been Eric’s sex slave for FIFTEEN YEARS …But without the sex!!!  She asks if they know what a sex slave is without the sex …. and Pam (LOVE HER) says .. A SLAVE!! Ha!! Poor Ginger.  She demands that Eric at least has sex with her before they leave but Eric begs off claiming he is infected to which Ginger replies SHE IS TOO!!! Ooooh Ginger that isn’t good 😦 but as to what relevance that will have we don’t find out this week as the last we see of her is her being unceremoniously dumped off the travel coffin as she screams after Eric. Could that be the last time we get to hear the now infamous Ginger screaming? Guess we will have to wait and see …. Roll opening credits!

The episode picks up where it then spends most of the rest of the hour.  In Sookie’s house.  She is feeling lost and alone and spies what we assume is Alcide’s leather jacket on the chair and she finds Lafayette and James waiting for her. Lala puts her to bed and assures her that he and James will take care of the house and make it respectable for Jackson arriving the next day.  Sookie sleeps right through to the next evening but when she comes downstairs things aren’t quite what she would expect.   Everything is set up for a PARTY!  Yes you read that right!  Jackson and Jenny (well Jenny really) have been prepping all day and they plan on having the whole town over to “celebrate” Alcide’s life rather than “mourn” his passing.  Sookie doesn’t look too impressed but when Bill turns up with flowers (because he had no alcohol at his house which was required as per the invite) she changes her mind and goes to get all dressed up. 

Lettie Mae is annoying as ever and wants to go to the party but the Reverend is smart and knows there will be booze and vamp blood there so it is a no go for Lettie Mae.  That doesn’t stop her though as she doses him up with Benedril (allergy meds) to put him to sleep she can go and do whatever the hell she has it into her crazy head this week needs to be done.

At Sookie’s the party is in full swing an even Bill is dancing … if you can call it that (definitely debatable).  The girls that escaped the Hep V Vamps are having  a blast (except Nicole who is pregnant and can’t drink and seems a little put out by all the weird behavior …. we find out later she is a LOT put out by it all….. isn’t it about time she got killed off …. she’s annoying and you know her and Sam won’t be living HEA) ….. anyway sidetracked … so yes everyone is partying including Jane Bodehouse and that sets Bill off into one of several “Civil War Flashbacks”.   

Now Bill flashbacks (for the most part) are boring and annoying at the best of times but at least normally there is some kind of point that I can fathom out from them.  This weeks flashbacks all seem to center around the same point.  Bill didn’t want to be a part of the Civil War.  He didn’t want to fight, he knew the South was going to lose, and he was more interested in helping the slaves.  UMMMMMM WHAT??????????  So this is a whole new backstory for Bill after SIX SEASONS with NO HINT that he was not a firm believer fighting for the South.  In fact we have been lead over and over to respect what a “Fine Southern Gentleman War Hero” he was and NONE of this rubbish has been entertained.   We see one of the slaves he befriended and was trying to help escape get shot, we see his wife desperately trying to support him and convince one of their *Friends* (fellow noble at least) not to kill him and instead he has to enlist.   All very strange and pretty seemingly pointless and just taking up air time.  I am assuming they are going to somehow link this back to the “Hopeless Hep V War”???? that they are now fighting but UGH definitely wasted air time in my opinion.  The only link so far is that each of the flashbacks has had the ancestor of a current character triggering them.  Blah!

In the middle of the party we stop for a little memorial speech from Jackson which I suppose was nice but really should have been at a funeral.  He says that Sookie was worth it otherwise Alcide wouldn’t have fought for her,  Once we get through that Lettie Mae turns up and Lala tries to get her to leave but she just wants to talk and Sookie lets her (because Sookie is just always soooo nice …. personally I would be on the “get the hell out of my house platform” ) and so we get her remembrance speech about Tara … which STILL ends up pretty much being about her!  Ugh will someone PLEASE kill her already.  I have been over her storyline since season 1 and things haven’t improved. 

Jessica and Andy have a talk outside and Andy makes Jess realize that she is making it harder on him by constantly punishing herself because it won’t let him move on.  When she agrees to help he then says that he is going to propose to Holly …. right there at the party! Now really anywhere else this would probably be a little inappropriate but here it just kinda worked.  We ended up with a really sweet scene…… Sookie let’s Andy use Nan’s ring (which apparently technically was left to Jason but Violet starts by being nice … she doesn’t need a ring …. but then shows her true colors asking “that’s it??” which everyone ignores and is the completely OPPOSITE reaction to Jessica who is gushing away ….. hmmmmmm that isn’t good ) … and off we go for a proposal.  Definitely cute right down to Jason dropping a cushion on the floor for Andy to kneel on that everyone around just ignores.  Even the proposal is done in typical Andy fashion with Holly working it out and saying Yes and then Andy getting flustered and saying she has to wait for him to ask.  Loved it.  BUT my favorite bit was Jason.  He sees Adelyn and Wade and tells them that he doesn’t know if they are fucking or not but it is going to have to stop … right now.   AWESOME!!!! Poor kids looked mortified :D.   Jessica finally looks happy and James wants to take advantage of the moment but Jess wants to stay and party and calls James a wet blanket.  Uh oh … We all know where that is leading.

Sookie is not coping so well with “this much living” and goes upstairs with Arlene for a nice little heart to heart where Arlene says that at night she used to wear Terry’s jacket and pretend it was him.  Uh huh!! Suddenly the jacket at the beginning makes sense….. some more continuity.  Well done writers! We see Jackson lurking outside listening ….. which makes no sense at the time but all will become clear at the end.   Arlene and Sookie are drunk and return the to party and we see Keith again.  Remember Keith … the vamp that saved Arlene? Well there is obviously chemistry there and he references the lovely sexy dreams she has been having.  Hmmm we didn’t get to see them… oh wait yeah … I don’t care.   It was obvious they were going to have a little thing so they might as well get on with it …. but not this week.    

Lafayette goes outside to talk to James and well I am pretty sure everyone can guess what happens next.  Damn those two are so cute together but ummmmm James on the bottom???? I did NOT see that coming.  Totally figured it would be the other way round …. hmmmmmmm lots of thought about that over night and it is STILL bothering me.  Guess James is more of a sub than I pegged him for.  Shame.  Makes him less hot in my book *sigh* ….. oh well …….  Back to the story though and the worst possible outcome happens …… Jessica catches them … full on at it … IN THEIR CAR!! Oh Jessica … really??? What did you expect …. you have been ignoring him for MONTHS now …. but Jessica runs into the house … right near Jason and gets him to rescind James’s invitation leaving him stuck outside.  Jess runs upstairs and Violet gives Jason permission to go after her. Ummmmm not your brightest move there Violet I must say!  

Lafayette joins them a couple of minutes later and points out and that she needs to let him be with someone who loves him if she doesn’t.  Fair enough but we know this is going to cause problems later …….  Jessica and Jason …. alone …. again ….. hmmmmm

Sookie goes looking for Bill and is wandering around with her drunken reduced inhibitions allowing her to “hear” all the nice things people are thinking at the party…. she finds him outside and they share a moment and Bill is wondering about the whole “friends” thing.  This was not done in his time and if we are honest we all know that he loves her.  I am torn because I almost think they belong together (as much as Bill has annoyed me the last few seasons) ….. the last few episodes I see glimpses of the S1 relationship that I loved…. maybe I am getting soppy because the end is so near and I am not quite ready to say goodbye despite the total train wreck it has at times become *sigh*.   OK enough of that (I blame the music) ……. back to the story ……. so Bill goes home and Sookie returns to the party  ……

Just in time to find Lettie Mae who is thinking about Willa and blood and seeing Tara. See we all knew she should have just been thrown out when she first turned up. She NEVER has good motives and she STABS WILLA through the shoulder with a serving knife!! CRAZY BITCH!!! Lafayette comes to which the crazy Lettie Mae away while everyone tries to defuse the now fanged out vampires and are succeeding pretty well until Nicole (UGH did I mention I can’t stand her) get’s up and points out that everyone there is nuts and that “normal” people don’t carry on like this in other towns.   Maybe someone should give her the past 6 seasons to sit through and she would see that really, in the grand scheme of things, this is pretty mild.  Ship her off somewhere Sam …. we all know you have TERRIBLE taste in women!!  She is no good for you .. baby or no baby!!! Possibly the funniest reaction is Jenny (Jackson’s bit of stuff laughing in the corner at it all) … redneck trash to the end that one :D.  So Nicole takes off to go home with Sam and Violet offers to make sure they get home safely.

Now we have Jason and Jessica alone in a room … AND Violet out of the house …. so no prizes for guessing what happens next!! Yes Jessica and Jason are back on …. well at it anyway.  Sex in a chair and they must still have the no full nudity clause for Jessica because we are still not getting a topless shot of her.  Sorry guys :(.  Violet returns while they are in full swing and we are all waiting for the inevitable fireworks and fight ……. but they don’t come! Ummmmm what???  Excuse me???? Violet, after all her threats etc is just going to walk away … Ummmmmmm OKAY????    There has to be more going on that this!  (We actually see in the previews for next week she has decided to fight fire with fire but personally I would prefer fireworks …… bring on the fight!!!) …… sooooo there you have it ….. Weird! 

Away from the party (Which yes I told you took up basically the WHOLE episode),  you have the other (more interesting) storyline of Eric and Pam and the hunt for Sarah Newlin.  They arrive in Dallas and find Amber Mills (Sarah’s sister) and discover she too is a victim of Hep V with the tell tale black veins everywhere.  We learn that Jeremy (Her vampy boyfriend that turned her) has already died and she is just waiting for the same fate but she is happy to take Sarah with her and tells them that Sarah is here in Dallas and will likely be at an upscale political Gala where her parents plan to attend … and Eric and Pam plan on being there!

They are getting ready for the Gala and Pam is all dressed up like a “replublicunt” HA!!! when she tells Eric to strip so he can get ready ….. and we see that his Hep V has spread.  He is now in what they call “Stage 2” (this week anyway .. they are REALLY making these Hep V rules up as they go along) and there is another amazing Eric and Pam moment where he tells her she has to accept he is going to die.  I’m with you Pam!!! Don’t accept it!!! Scriptwriters can find a way to make this right!!! DAMNIT!!!!!  Eric has Pam cover up the ones that will be visible but we don’t get to see Eric’s outfit until the Gala and oh it is worth the wait!!! Cowboy Eric!!! Too Funny!!! Oh it reminds me of Season 2 ….. back in Dallas again … the good parts of S2…. not the weird crazy egg ritual / meat tree type parts lol. 

Pam and Eric embark on their mission to find Sarah via her parents and have made it into the Gala but Pam thinks all the women look the same so is unamused at having to find the mother.  Eric glamours the father but he knows nothing ….. meanwhile we see Sarah find her mother in the ladies room and her mother is not too thrilled to see her.  It doesn’t really matter though because while all this is going on the Yokomoto Samari crew (also known as the Yukuza) are back and are taking out EVERYONE at the party.  Seriously these are the worst group of hired security guards at this party EVER!  One of them doesn’t even have his gun pulled as it is all going down. He deserves to get shot.  Then again they are not discriminating ….. if you are there, and in the way, you are dead.  Kill all the Republicans seems to be the plan of the day for them.  We see Sarah’s father get shot in the head as he doesn’t know where Sarah is (Eric has disappeared at this point) and then we see the Yukuza head towards the bathrooms.  They chase Sarah and her mother and it looks like her mother is about to have a heart attack so Sarah leaves her and not a moment too soon as the Yukuza round the corner and shoot the Mom a few times so no need to worry about the heart attack.  

Sarah runs right into Eric who grabs her by the throat in her moment of panic.  Suddenly the yukuza are right there, the same group that killed his beloved Sylvie so after dropping Sarah he stabs them with their own swords and then rips his teeth out ….no literally …. hand in face and pulls out his whole jaw as the guy dies and walks down the hallway.  AWESOME!!!!! However, fun as that is I don’ think this will be the end of that battle …. to be continued (There were a LOT of those Yukuza guys there)

Back in Bon Temps and the party is over and Sookie heads up to bed to find the jacket from earlier laid out waiting for her.  AHA! So THAT was why Jackson was lurking around there.  Bless …. I suppose that’s quite sweet really.  So Sookie curls up in that and cries herself to sleep while over in the Compton manor Bill is taking a bath …. I know right …. random much? So he gets out and wipes the video and the music is cued up and we are all waiting …. Will Sookie suddenly be behind him …. will it be some bad guy waiting to kill him, Well????? NOPE!!! Worse!!!! Right in the center of his chest we see it ….. the markings of the start of Hep V!!! AHHHHHHHHHH  Now at this point the ONLY person I can remember Bill feeding off recently is Sookie??? What am I missing here???? UGH!!!! Annoying …… lots of things to ponder … well I suppose it takes my mind off of why James was on the bottom ………..

And now we wait until next week!!! On the plus side I have to say I am LOVING the use of the season 1 character soundtrack this season.  It feels right to me and I adore it although it almost pushes home the finality of it and that makes me sad.  Only 5 more episodes and I have no idea what they have in store…. but obviously the whole Hep V thing in our main characters is about to get upped to a while new level.   Who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (lot’s of death but none of it main cast)

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

Eric and Sarah

My Favorite Lines From “Lost Cause”

  • Pam  (To Amber) – ”I like her …. I like you” … Amber – “is it alright if I haven’t made up my mind about you yet”  Pam “Yeah .. I really like her!”
  • Eric – ”You don’t know us sweetheart – we can be assholes”
  • Violet- “I have had about 100 boyfriends die on me over the years and I remember how painful the first ones were”
  • Jackson – ”You can’t die a hero if you don’t have a righteous cause” 
  • Jason – “I don’t know if you all are fucking or not but if you are it is going to have to stop … right now
  • Pam – “Oh My God …… I’m a Republicunt!!!!!”
  • Sookie – “You might wanna dial down your sexy a notch” 
  • Arlene  – “I have to go make tinkle ….. because you know … I am a human!”
  • Sookie – “Thank you for seeing me the way I can’t see myself sometimes”
  • Pam – “How??? All these bitches look the same???”
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True Blood Season 7 Ep 4 – “Death Is Not The End” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? I warn you …. this is a long one ….. Right then here we go!! Wow can you believe we are on the 4th episode already? That means we are almost halfway through.  Not liking that.  Neither did I really care for the beginning of this week’s episode, which was of course dealing with the big death last week.  We have Sookie calling Jackson to tell him his son is dead and then (far more moving) we have Jason calling Hoyt to tell him that Maxine has passed.  Poor Hoyt …. and poor Jason <3.  They did a really good job here what with Jason having grown up with Hoyt but Jessica’s glamour still working its vampire magic. Awwwwwww. Wonder what will happen when he comes back to Bon Temps.  I guess we will see ……… After the phone call Jason has decided he is done with everything but Sookie gives him the “Man Up” speech because Andy is gone (to look after Holly) and so he is all that is left.  Well who would have thought THAT would have been the case 6 seasons ago???  ***Opening Credits ….. I still love this song ………***

As with most episodes, by far the best thing in it were the moments with Eric and Pam and in particular the flashbacks.  I am loving getting more of their history together, especially when it involves 80’s and 90’s flashbacks.  Oh the memories …. but I digress ….. We start on a plane with Eric and Pam heading to Baton Rouge because Pam has decided that is where Sarah is likely to have reached out.  Eric is not amused by this and stops feeding on the lovely Air Hostess to demand they go to Shreveport to get Willa.   Eric and Pam are so great with the way they play off each other but Eric lets it slip that he is dying which Victoria (pretty Air Hostess) is unamused about as she is now going to lose her job.  I know it’s wrong but I LOVE that neither Eric nor Pam care one bit!! YES!!! This is the Eric and Pam we want to see.  The looks they share, their chemistry is just awesome…..  I love them!  

We now get the first of several flashbacks but as they are all related and are BY FAR the best bit of this entire episode I am going to put them all together …. because honestly? I want to lol.

Remember last week Pam and Eric got taken by the Yokomoto corporation after they dispensed with Sylvie back in 1986?  Well this flashback picks up right after that with Pam and Eric being “released” in Shreveport in a parking lot that will look very familiar to all the fans.  Yes this is where they get Fangtasia. But wait …… it is not the Fangtasia we know and love …. it is …. a VIDEO RENTAL STORE lmao!!! Complete with extra porn section in the basement!!!   Oh Pam is so disgusted by the whole thing it is hilarious!! We get to meet The Magister (remember him) and we learn that he made Eric Sheriff (Something Eric actually looks rather pleased about) because he wants to be able to keep an eye on him.  They learn that this punishment (running the store) is basically a forever thing at this point and when The Magsiter tosses Pam the keys she ignores them as they smack her in the chest and fall to the floor.  Oh it was so well done!! Bravo!!!  Now pay attention here …. The Magister throws out that there is an abandoned, walled up tunnel behind the basement …… FULL OF HISTORY he says ….. but that will be VERY important later.   ****OK mini side rant here ….. do we have different writers doing the flashback things?  They are so awesome with the details and the remembering things, and adding in little “extras” …. where is that in the MAIN show??? Hmmmmmm??? Continuity has just LEFT THE BUILDING with pretty much everything else…….. UGH OK I’m done for the moment … back to the flashbacks …..****

We jump to 1996 and poor Pam is STILL stuck working in that horrid little video store which is now upgrading to DVDs.   In walks a nerdy looking brunette with a list of obscure vampire movies she wants to watch.  Pam is actually impressed and the selections and half listens as the girl goes on and on about the course she is taking about monsters being misunderstood.   Suddenly out walks Eric …. in full 90’s boy band style ….with the background music of “I would die for you” …..  LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!!! And then I realize …. IT’S GINGER!!!! HA!!!! Without the blonde hair and minus the screaming I didn’t see it at first….. and well she just about dies …. right there on the spot.  Jaw on the floor …. ummmmm yes that might have been my reaction too …. WOW …. ummmmm where was I ……. oh yes so Ginger meets Eric and decides she wants to work there … and well the rest is history ….. actually we get a little more history …. and I LOVE it!!

Fast forward to 2006 and the vamps are coming out of the coffin and we see Ginger (looking much more like the Ginger we all know) getting out of a hearse, with a big chair, and heading into the video shop where they are still working.   Pam is waiting for her and is unamused by the chair until Ginger lays out the whole plan for Fangtasia, right down to Eric sitting up on the throne we all know and love.  Pam loves the idea …. and totally steals is – glamouring Ginger into thinking it was Pam’s idea in the first place.  Awesome!!!!!   Flash forward to Eric and Pam back on the plane and Eric is smiling and lovingly calls Pam a Bitch ….. but she says “but you still love me” ….. and he looks at her and just says “always”.  Awwwwwwww ❤ such a look. Just perfect!!!  I’m telling you I would watch a whole series just about these too!!!! FANGTASTIC!!!! 

Right then back to the rest of what is going on …….. Sookie, Jason, and Sam head over to see Andy and Holly and find Coby and Lisa who Sookie decides to go talk to.  Lisa is moaning that everyone is treating them like they are stupid but they know things are wrong.  After a heart to heart with the (now not so little) kids Sookie promises that she will bring their Mom back.  UGH Stupid Sookie!!! You know better than to make promises like that! Especially with the kill count this season.   Anyway Sookie knows that Holly knows what happened and that it was just glamoured away so Sookie heads in to fix that. Remember her little trick with the Black Eyes back in Season 2? Yup she can MAKE you remember and she does just that with Holly.  Oh it isn’t pretty and leaves Holly a snivelling mess for poor Andy to deal with but they don’t have time for that!! Sookie does leave him with a piece of advice ….”We like to be held”…. well OK then!!!  So they know where the survivors are and they have a plan! Well Sookie has a plan …. she is going to Bills …. in the middle of the day ….. Jason and Sam …. they have to go tell Rosie that Kevin is dead.

Staying with Jason and Sam for a moment, Sam has a little melt down and thinks he is going to go to Fangtasia now and rescue Nicole (STUPID SAM!!!!!) but Jason manages to stop him (by threatening to shoot him in the head) and they eventually get to Rosie’s and she is not happy to see them and even less happy with the news.  She makes them promise that they will avenge Kevin which, of course, they promise to do.

Over at Bill’s house Jessica and James are fighting over the fact that Jessica isn’t healing because she isn’t eating.  Apparently it has been months.  Hmmmmm they do like to change how long these vamps can go without feeding.  James goes to get Bill and Bill tries to convince her but is not doing a very good job.  Sookie turns up in the middle of it all and decides that Jessica can feed off of her.  Jessica isn’t amused because as she points out Sookie is a fairy but Sookie says she trusts her.   Sookie gets Bill and James to leave and then lays one of the best guilt trips on Jessica that I have heard in ages.  Basically Sookie doesn’t care what is going on with Jessica and her life but she needs help and Sookie has been good to Jessica so Jessica needs to suck it up and help her!   Amazingly THIS WORKS but she won’t feed off Sookie and so they send for James’s human … the wonderful Lafayette!!!! 

This leads to a wonderful scene! Nelson Ellis is OUTSTANDING this week with just the right amount of sass, sympathy, and use of the word “Hookah” to convince Jessica that he is a bad person too.  He misses Jesus and it is OK not to be perfect and not to forgive yourself but you have to keep going.   Add to that the looks that James and Lala share and yes I will admit it. My heart melted.  Awwwww <3.  Sorry Jessica I am routing for them to hook up….. the sooner the better. 

Sookie is plotting with Bill but he points out that generally the vampires around are not really going to be invested in going to a fight at Fangtasia with the H Vamps.  They have everything to lose and nothing to gain.  When asked why he is going he explains it is because he owes Sookie everything.  You know Bill …… when you act like season 1 Bill you aren’t so bad after all.  So Sookie decides Bill needs to eat ……because he needs to be at his strongest to fight ……. but  you know personally I think Sookie just wanted a good bite.  Obviously missing it having been with a wolf for 6 months.  Guessing a wolf bite wouldn’t be so appealing lol

So night has fallen and the troops have gathered to plan their attack.  Hmmmm troops might be a tad optimistic sounding as we have Sookie, Bill, Jason, Sam, Jessica, James, Violet, and 2 of James’s band mates (also vamps) Michael and Keith. Jason tries to give a rousing speech but compares it to Normandy and obviously doesn’t get much response as Normandy left beaches stained with allied blood ….. but fear not!! Eric and Pam have arrived.  Obviously looking for Willa (well on the pretense of looking for Willa) and Pam bitches that Sookie is there.  Glad to see that they are at least consistent with that but Eric does listen and “calls” Willa.  Eric, however, obviously still loves Sookie and takes a moment alone with her to discover what trouble she has gotten herself into this time.  He is appropriately disgusted about her “wolf” relationship but drops it when he sees she is hurting.  The time between them is touching and you can see how much Eric still cares and it would seem Sookie does too.  Perhaps the triangle is about to come back.  I was sure the writers were heading towards Sookie and Bill ….. but who knows.  Hmmmmmm need to ponder that. Also need to ponder the lack of Eric or Pam making any kind of negative comment to Jason about Sarah being alive.   Pam may secretly be grateful at this point as it is fueling Eric’s will to live …. but Eric … he looked pissed last week.  I can’t believe there wouldn’t even be a passing jibe??? Ugh!  Damn Writers!

Willa arrives and is not a happy babyvamp.   She wants to talk about her abandonment NOW!!! But Eric has other plans and uses the old fail safe “as you maker I command you” trick and later it is 😀

So off to battle they go …. the crew above with the additions of Eric, Pam, and Willa but Eric actually has a plan.  Remember that bricked up tunnel?  Well they are going to bust in and rescue the prisoners that way!!  Awesome!!! Except when they get there Eric has pretty much lost all his strength and after a pitiful few attempts Bill smashes down the wall in one punch …. ummmmm NO!!!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! UGH!!! That is SO WRONG!!! On SOOOOOOO many levels wrong!!!! So let me ask you this? If H Vamps are so weak even in the early stages (he is level 1) and HE has just FED well and recently …… why the hell are the other vamps any problem at all?? You have a shifter and a bunch of healthy vamps?  What the hell writers???? Make your mind up!!!! STUPID!!!!!

Anyway Sam goes in first (as a rat) and transforms and freaks Arlene and Jane (which is mildly amusing …. although I would have had Arlene making a comment about Sam being naked ….. but maybe that is me being a perv) ……. so prisoners found Sam lets them know that vamps are coming in to rescue them and they need to TRUST them.  The 3 prisoners are not too amused but seriously at this point what choice do they have? Well as Sam scurries back off as a rat it would seem that they might be too late for one of them because here comes an H Vamp and he is hungry!!  Back at the tunnel entrance it is decided that Pam and Bill will go rescue the humans (because Eric is so week) but by the time they get there Arlene is already upstairs about to be eaten.   The other 2 saved Bill decides to go after Arlene but Pam gives him a couple of words of advice …… not to try too hard to be a hero .. because she says it is never going to happen with Sookie the way he wants … not tonight …. not ever.  Hmmmmmm foreshadowing?  Certainly interesting to say the least. 

But Bill is not the only one with a plan.  Eric has decided to go through the front door, claiming he needs asylum and he brings his own human (no prizes for guessing who that is …..) Now apparently despite their apparent apathy previously, these H Vamps do have a thing for fairy blood after all ….. not that they know what it is but it is Sookie smelling so good that tempts them to let him in.   Arlene is close to death on the table and Eric is trying to buy time with the crazy H Vamps who amazingly enough all seem together enough to hold it together for this little chit chat.  Come on cavalry where are you??

Oh wait …. unexpected help? Problems? Ummmm a bit of both really as the remainder of the “Wanna be Justice League Crew” (Wanna be Mayor, Kenya, Rosie, annoying mouthy girl, and another guy along with a few others ) pull in to the parking lot armed with a Molotov cocktail. FIRE!!!! Just as our hero team is coming up the back way.  Well all hell erupts.  As the vamps go flying out the front door a bunch are picked off by the “Wanna Be League” all armed with guns and wooden bullets until a few break through to kill most of the humans off (yup none of you will be missed).   This gives the other vamps time to get out the back way and we get to see a matrix style, all hell break loose battle between the vamps and it seems that all the H Vamps get killed off and our team escapes unscathed.

That being said Sookie is trapped inside a burning Fangtasia with a dying Arlene and Eric unable to help as his infected blood (I’m assuming) is no good for healing.  She tells him to get a “Healthy” vamp.  Now why he doesn’t just “Call” Willa is anybody’s guess …… but he doesn’t …. instead he’s about to leave when Bill appears and stakes a rogue H Vamp by ripping off one of the handles from behind the bar (Season 1 Longshadow anyone????).  Pam comes in with a fire extinguisher and deals with the fire issue and gets a wonderful look from Eric (I am telling you this week was just full of them) and then she hears them outside about to throw in another flaming bottle and rushes out, snatches the bottle and sets the guy on fire.  Awesome!! 

Bill is about to give Arlene his blood when he feels Jessica in trouble so leaves to help her and Eric comes to the rescue bringing Keith.  Now Arlene is seeing Terry and hearing Terry (although for a moment Terry is the evil H Vamp but Jason shoots that one … well done Jason)  and for a moment I really thought that Arlene was about to be the next victim of this season’s slaughter run as we get to see Terry too but he tells Arlene to stay and she starts to come round.  Now she shares a little look with Keith the vampire.  Hmmmmmmm is that going to be something I wonder.  Lots to think on this episode.

We end with it being confirmed that all the H Vamps are in fact goo.  And judging by the number of bodies it looks like all the “Wanna be Justice League” are dead too with the main cast notables being Kenya and Rosie.  Pam is shouting for Eric and for a moment you wonder if perhaps he is one of the goo piles and we missed it ….. but fear not.  Eric is in a car eating Rosie.   Well Rosie there were worse ways you could have died.  Eric returns to the bar and shares a beautiful look with Sookie ….. and the credits roll …… 

And now we wait until next week!!!  Only 6 installments left…. but already things seem to be wrapping up faster than I would have expected so I am hoping they will focus on the hunt for Sarah and hopefully a cure for Eric?!  Who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Kenya
Rosie

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

Eric 90s

My Favorite Lines From “Death Is Not The End”

  • Jackson – ”He loved the fuck out of you Sookie”
  • Pam – “I’m sorry …. did we fuck and I blocked it out”
  • Eric- “Welcome to our shithole”
  • Bill – “I Owe You Everything”
  • Lafayette – “Step aside Hookah ….. give a real hookah a shot”
  • Pam – “Ginger – look at yourself and look at me …. who has better taste?”
  • Ginger – “Eric Northman is nothing if he isn’t fucking  sex on a throne” 
  • Eric – “Pam tells me you wrote a book where you claim no longer to be an asshole …. is it true?”
  • Pam – “She’s like a fucking fungus that just won’t go away”
  • Eric – “You will not drink her blood …. you will sip it … like a nice glass of barbaresco”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 7 – “In The Evening” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Let me start by saying I apologize for the lateness of this week’s installment but life had other plans for me …. and well … that is enough of that. On with the show!!!

For me this week was a blend of absolutely amazing moments (featuring Eric) … mixed in with a ton of stuff I couldn’t care less about but I am assuming has relevance so am including it.

The episode starts off not with Sookie and her light display but with Eric, Nora and Willa and their escape plans.  Having just seen that they are putting Hep V in the Tru Blood supply Eric knows that things are about to get bad for the vamps inside.  With promises from Eric that he will be back for her Willa takes the Doctor’s coat from Nora and heads back to general population so that she can let Pam know what is going on while Eric escapes with Nora.  This is brilliant!!! Vamp Camp discovers a breech and goes into lock down and it is a battle of wills and some great thinking that allows Eric and Nora to escape on an outgoing Tru Blood truck.  Laying underneath with Eric supporting himself and Nora with one arm they almost make it when a guard comes by for one final sweep with a mirror under the truck before it leaves.   Oh this can’t be good … but quick as a flash, just as the guard sees him Eric grabs him, kills him, and then yells that the truck is good to go…. now hanging on to the guard’s body as well until safely away from the compound where he drops him like the trash he is …. then he cradles Nora close to him as the truck speeds off into the night unaware of the cargo stowing away underneath.  Eric is definitely top of my list this season!!  *sigh*  

Jason is still playing double agent and is running around acting as though he is helping when really he is just trying to free Jessica. Awwwww he is so cute…. for a human.  Meanwhile Willa actually manages to use the arm and coat and get to Pam, who is practicing her Yoga.  Pam is delightfully unimpressed that Eric sent the babyvamp to help save her but Willa stands her ground and explains the whole Tru Blood plan and why none of them can drink it.  Willa wants to save all the vamps (oh to be young) but Pam quickly dispels that idea as she explains to Willa (not because she doesn’t care … although I am sure that plays a part) that if everyone avoids drinking the Tru Blood they will know that the vamps are on to them.  Even Willa has to admit that makes sense so heads off, severed arm and all, to tell Jessica and Tara and get herself back into where she is supposed to be, neatly disposing of arm and coat down a convenient waste disposal shoot.

Eric and Nora make it to Bill’s and Eric makes an impassioned plea that if Bill is now God to please heal her.  Oh so touching!  Eric takes her up to Bill’s bedroom but it would seem the decision is not really up to Bill …. Nora is refusing to drink from Bill as she says it is Lillith’s blood and she would rather die.  *rolls eyes* … yes a little selfish considering how Eric is suffering but Bill is up on his high horse saying he will not refuse her dying wish so Eric orders him to leave.  HA!!! Sorry that really amused me ….. Eric ordering Billith out of his own bedroom.  Obviously at this point we know that Bill could destroy him but he doesn’t … he quietly leaves. Oh you know there will be more on this later.

In other areas Sarah Newlin is heading to the Governors mansion that she is pretending is her home, practicing some elocution lessons in the car (for those that want to play along at home …. lower your voice one octave and repeat … God is good).  As she pulls up to the house she realizes something is wrong as there are no guards and she finds the governors head right where Bill left it, on the edge of the statue.  She has a nice little conversation with the severed head assuring him that his death won’t be in vain and that they are all evil monsters and she will destroy them all because it is all part of God’s plan. 

Cut to the Governors office where Sarah is waiting as in walks the Senator (Remember him?  He was one of Lafayette’s clients) who is not doing very well with the sight of all the carnage.  Sarah has a plan! She wants to pretend that the Governor is still alive and have him fill in saying that Governor Burrell is in hiding because of threats and she will deal with all the vampire stuff. She tells the Senator to call in his “clean up crew” the same one he uses to cover up all his seedy stuff and leave no trace.  She suggests acid might be good and that they only have to do this for a short time because tainted Tru Blood is about to hit the shelves.  Oh this is not good.

Time for a trip to Fairy land where Sookie and Warlow/Ben are done frolicking and apparently their flashy light theatrics didn’t do anything other than for them.  So being that Warlow/Ben is several thousand years old and apparently hasn’t gotten laid recently he seems to think that this will make Sookie rethink her decision to marry him. Slutty Sookie has other plans though but does agree this was more than just sex … because it always is.  UGH this Warlow/Ben character / story / all of it … just not working for me!!! Bored Bored Bored!!! There is no chemistry there … I don’t find him sexy …. and did I mention .. I’M BORED!!! As Sookie goes to get up she “hears” Arlene crying in the “real world” cemetery and says she must go back for her …. but she will be back for him.  Blah Blah Blah …. BORED!!!!!!  Oh wait … she can’t work out how to get back … Ummmmmm what?  You were quick enough to zap yourself there …… but fear not … one line of instruction from her latest conquest and all is good.  Phew … was almost worried there for a minute *rolls eyes*.

So back Sookie goes where she finds Arlene laying on the floor on what I can only assume is supposed to be Terry’s grave?  OK I am totally confused.  What the hell kinda timeline is going on.  I would say that Sookie was lost in Fairy land for a while but that doesn’t make sense because the vampire story has only taken a day ……. but now Terry is buried? After he was shot ….. by an apparently unknown assailant …… so no investigation at all and he is in the ground??  Oh and she hasn’t told her kids? I am so lost.  If anyone can explain this please go right ahead.  Long boring drawn out story cut short …. because I really don’t care about it …. Sookie convinces Arlene to go home and tell her kids, Andy, Holly and Lafayette are there and it is decided that Sookie and Lala will head off to see what was in the safety deposit box.   Shocker it was an insurance policy … taken out 3 days earlier …. for 2 MILLION DOLLARS!!! OK what insurance company did you say that was … because there is no way Terry would qualify for that … in his state of mind!!! 

On to more stuff I couldn’t care less about, Sam calls Lafayette and discovers Terry is dead so decides he is going to head home.  He tells Nicole to call her mom (which she does) and they have some shifter shower sex (which Sam fans will enjoy as you get a nice shot of his naked ass) ….. and then she leaves, with mom, after giving Sam her home phone number.  YAWN!!

As we are dealing with yawnsville type stuff am going to add in here about Alcide … he drops his dad off and they have a little talk about how his dad isn’t a pack creature and how he thinks Alcide isn’t either.  But Alcide is still playing the asshole packmaster role and has to get back to his pack.  Hmmmmmm whatever.  Alcide annoys me at the best of times but this season he is driving me insane.  The writers need to just either kill him off or something but enough of this already!!.

Over at vamp camp Jessica is summoned up to a room and obviously she fears the worst but is shocked to find Jason there.  Not quite sure how Jason has managed to get himself in a room alone having only been there for a couple of days but hey it works.  He tells Jessica he is going to help her but Jessica says she is OK with it all but she would like to see the vampire James again so she can thank him and Jason, bless his heart, goes to get him.

James arrives and is as confused as to why he is there and is even more confused when Jessica gets Jason to leave them in the room alone.  Awwww I almost feel sorry for Jason.  He is so sweet. With Jason gone James and Jessica (wow that is a LOT of J’s) have a little heart to heart and we learn that James believes vampires choose whether to be good or not and that he feels he still has his soul.  We also learn that they broke one of his Fangs for not having sex with Jessica that day.  Now in S1, as a punishment, the Magister has them rip out a vamps fangs and says he can think about what he has done while he waits for them to come back in.  Now ….. they have never mentioned a timeline for that.  Hmmmmm ……. bones heal, almost immediately and teeth are bone but fangs are not ….. because they come in supernaturally?? Maybe???  I do wish they would define these rules!!!  Things like this bug the hell out of me!! I want answers!!! What about other teeth? If you knock them out do they replace?  We saw Russell’s teeth doing that and yet once regenerated his teeth were all fine.  Seriously I want to know.  Suggestions welcome….. so now I am completely off track.  Oh right yes James and Jessica ….. so they have their little heart to heart and Jess explains that they are all going to die soon and not to drink the Tru Blood.  So much for Pam’s idea of not spreading it around. Jess then explains that the one thing she wants is to have sex with a vampire because she has never done it.  It is actually a scene a lot more touching than it sounds there.  And finally we get some vamp sex .. not a lot …. you know there is not a lot of sex period AGAIN this season!!! Ooooh changing the subject a little James kinda looks like Johnny Depp in this scene so that is a bonus (thanks to my hubby for pointing that out)….. I really hope he sticks around.  Vamp Candy 😉

Back to the Compton mansion and Eric is once again begging Bill to save Nora.  He tells him that he believes. He will do anything.  Oh Eric …. it breaks my heart to see him so desperate.  Bill explains about his visions and Warlow and that he needs to get him and get his blood so that he can go to the vamp camp and Eric agrees that he will do anything, including go back to vamp camp if he will just give his blood to Nora.  Bill does so but sadly it is no good.  The blood does nothing and Nora does not look like she is long for this world.  Eric insists that Bill goes to get Warlow as his blood may work but Nora knows otherwise.  Eric won’t give up though and there is a touching look from Bill to Nora as it is clear that this is a final goodbye despite what Eric wants to believe.  This would be the time to get your kleenex ….. yes there is sadness to come.

Bill is actually heading off to find Sookie … her being the key to getting Warlow back and all.  Very convenient him being able to walk in the sun.  Sookie is with a very drunk Arlene who has told the kids now about Terry (still not getting that whole timeline) and Sookie has just discovered Andy’s daughter when in walks Bill.  Now Portia is there and helps hustle the kids upstairs but wasn’t Portia supposed to scream every time she saw Bill?  Well it was a “Bill” glamour … maybe it wore off (rather than the script writers forgetting …. why bring her back anyway … hmmmmm guessing there is going to be more on that coming ….).  Arlene is amusing as she at first thinks she is seeing him because she is totally wasted …. but she soon realizes that he is really there.  Bill wanders around handing out condolences to Arlene and then to Andy ….. hmmmm ok.  More dullness and implied threats about keeping his remaining daughter alive just as he is trying to keep Jessica alive.  Oh Bill, you were so much more interesting last week!  Sookie and Bill head outside to talk and Bill explains that she must bring Warlow back to help save the ones that she loves so she doesn’t really feel she has a choice.  Well he couldn’t stay in Fairy land forever.

At the Vamp Camp Pam is having fun with her psychiatrist friend and by fun I mean she has decided to play up the fact that he has a thing for her and makes every possible sexual innuendo possible and in case he was having any doubts spells out the fact that she used to be a whore in her human life and that it wasn’t a coincidence.  Turns out her plan is all about getting into general population and if she has to sleep with him for that to happen then so be it, Well Go Pam!!! Talk about taking one for the team!!!

Jason is also still in vamp camp but things are about to get bad for him as Sarah comes up to tell him she has a secret. Jason explains he couldn’t care but then she whispers that the Governor is dead before yelling to have him thrown in general population with the vampires.  Oh that isn’t good.  Quick as anything the guards whip out a knife to remove the ship in his arm and then he gets thrown in the same room Tara is in.  The female vampires swarm at the fresh blood thrown to them but Tara steps in front of him …. but not sure how much that is going to do as that pesky “1” vampire (Violet although I don’t think we have been told that yet) that helped before looks like she is about to claim the favor she feels owed as she calmly tells the room that he is “Hers”.

Alcide heads back to his pack and claims that Sam and the girl Nicole were dead and that he gave the pup (Emma) to Martha as it was the right thing to do.  Unfortunately for him the little slut that he has been banging followed him and knows it all to be a lie and calls him on it.  He starts to deny it but then she brings out Nicole and her mom.  Oops.  Things not looking good for Alcide right now.  Pack is MAD!! Wish I could say I cared.  But I don’t.  Guess we will find out what happens next week as we are left with lots of growling and the pack circling ….. shocker!

And now …. get your kleenex ready …… is the scene of the night.  Eric is begging Godric to save Nora as she lays dying with all her veins turning black. We get an amazing flashback to the time when Nora was made in London 1665 where the plague is running rampant. Eric, with his hair long and beautiful dressed in full era appropriate regalia and looking amazing (and reminding me of Lestat) is sent to retrieve the Lady Gainsborough for the King Charles II  who is infatuated with her and wants her to stop caring for the sick and tend to his needs in bed!   Eric finds her dying from the plague in a bed in a run down, makeshift hospital, and she refuses to leave saying that she would rather die where she lay than in the presence of the King as her death WILL be her own.  Eric sees how strong she is and decides he will take her to Godric so he can heal her.

Back to the present and the tears are flowing as Eric knows the end for Nora is near.  Oh it is like Godric all over again.  Even now that scene gets to me every single time. She looks at him and says that they will end as they begun. But there is no Godric to heal her this time and he wants to know who will comfort him in the centuries to come and Nora says Pamela and Willa.  Oh it is heartbreaking.  He takes her in his arms and sobs as he begs her not to leave him even as she is disintegrating in his arms leaving him holding just a mass of blood.  Poor Eric.  The whole scene is so amazingly done though I suggest you try and find it on YouTube if you watch nothing else.

And so this week ends …. with a distraught Eric who looks up from the blood to see Bill in the doorway and you know in that moment that the grief will manifest as anger and that I can’t wait to see!!!

Bring on the drama, Bring on the war!! Bring me more vamp stuff!!!!  I can’t believe already that we are down to just 3 more episodes.  The threat of a major character death still looms large and I say … PLEASE LET IT BE BILL lol

V””V

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My Favorite Lines From “In The Evening”

  • Eric – “If you are God …. please heal her for me.”
  • Sarah – “I am not letting that Rhino with all his folksy bullshit step one foot in this office”
  • Jason – “You don’t have that stockholders syndrome do you?”
  • Nora – “My Death Will Be My Own”
  • Eric – “You will live life fully, and forever”
  • Nora – “And so we end as we begun”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 6 – “Don’t You Feel Me” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Let me start by saying after last week’s epic episode I was hoping for a little more. This week for me had too much “other” stuff and not enough vampire content for me … but here we go ….

This week starts with the possessed Lafayette still trying to drown Sookie and he almost succeeds but Bill can feel she is in trouble and despite his whole “you are dead to me” speech he sends Warlow/Ben  out into the day to rescue her.  No real surprise there although Lafayette does survive (after last week I thought the “death that will rock Bon Temps” may have been him with all this going on) but Sookie recovers enough to tell Warlow/Ben not to kill him but to blast him with Fairy Light to dislodge the spirit.  Amazingly this works (I guess this season Fairy light is the equivalent of Duct Tape) and Sookie tells the spirit of her dad to go and never return. He fades off into the trees presumable never to be seen again, well either that or until they come up with some reason he needs to come back.  There was no hoodoo magic to make him stay gone so who knows (and to be honest who cares …. it was an interesting twist but this week I am over it).

Now to the part I have been waiting for ALL Week!! Pam and Eric trapped in the little display room, armed with stakes, supposed to fight each other.  Now as they circle each other like caged beasts (much to the amusement of the stupid Governor) a few little snide comments are made back and forth before they float up Matrix Style, poised and ready to fight.  UGH I am on the edge of my seat at this point just needing to know what is going to happen …. you can cut the tension with a knife!!!! Then with the slightest nod of his head Eric and Pam fly towards each other, and past each other up to the windows where the armed guards are and stake them!! Oh it was brilliant!!! then they drag the bodies down to the room and one of the guards is staked literally right through the window leaving this little stake sizes hole, surrounded in blood, for Eric to look through with one eye and say … “I see you Steve Newlin!!”.  Oh this was the best scene of this episode. Sadly more guards come in to escort the dynamic duo off but oh it was amazing!  Shame it was so near the beginning …. yes readers it is sadly all down hill from here … but there is information that we will need for next week so stay with me and I will keep you as entertained as I can.

Lafayette, Sookie and Warlow/Ben are having a little heart to heart about how messed up it is that this vampire can be out in the sun when Billith decides to “Call”  Warlow/Ben back to the house. Well we all know how well that went for Jessica and soon enough Warlow/Ben is coughing up blood and generally looking unwell but it is Sookie to the rescue.  Instead of submitting to Billith’s demands she grabs Warlow/Ben’s hands and transports him off to Fairy World. Ummmm SAY WHAT????  Yes apparently she can zap herself there whenever it suits her. Hmmm not sure that was in fact the case.  Wonder how long she will be there this year? After all last time a few minutes there turned out to be a year.

When Bill realizes that he can no longer feel Warlow/Ben he goes off to talk to Jessica who of course is not in her room because she is at “Vamp Camp” but Billith hasn’t realized that yet so rushes up to her room to find out how close he came to killing her when he called her to him at the beginning.  When he realizes she is gone he fears the worst and that what he saw in his vision was starting. Of course Bill wants to talk to Lilith but she is not being very forthcoming so he decides he needs to be in a coma.  So he has the still kidnapped scientist drain him to the point of death (by glamouring him with instructions to remove all his blood to the point of the True Death then return it to him 24 hours later) and off Bill goes to dream land to see Lilith (escorted by the 3 pointless naked, blood covered, Lilith wannabees).   Face to face with Lilith Bill in unamused by all the non answers Lilith gives and tries to blame Lilith for everything but as she points out …. he was the one that wanted this and now he can deal with it and she disappears telling him basically the time to act is now but he is on his own to do it! And act he does …. but more on that later!

Jason, meanwhile, is over at the LAVT (Louisiana Vampire Task Force) sign up center so that he can rescue Jessica from said “Vamp Camp”.  His interview is GREAT!! Jason is definitely back to being more like the Jason from earlier seasons that we adored and comes up with my favorite new word for decapitation – beheadenism!!  It is a great way to kill vamps.   Obviously with the tales he can tell and the experience he has the LAVT can’t wait to sign him up and fast track him through to main camp.  Well done Jason your plan seems to be working …. until once there he get’s introduced to Sarah Newlin.  Uh oh …. slight hiccup there but Jason plays it cool and pretends they have never met.  Sarah orders everyone to clear the room so she can spend a couple of minutes alone with the new recruit but where she plans to make him leave Jason points out that if she says one word he will tell EVERYTHING he knows about her and what a “Whore for Christ” she is.  Well that doesn’t go down too well but she keeps her mouth shut.  Oh yes Sarah Newlin is way too smart for that.  Instead she waits for her opportunity and has Jason come to one of the observation rooms to watch a “copulation study”.  Once Jason understands what copulation is he thinks that doesn’t sound too bad apart from the fact there is only one guy vamp standing in the room……until Sarah has them bring out Jessica.  Oh Sarah you really are a bitch.  James (who would have made a lovely Ben/Warlow … hope we see him again ……) won’t do it though as he says he isn’t into rape and Jessica is not willing.  Despite getting hit several times with a nasty UV blaster ray he holds his ground and it is Jessica who eventually tries to tell him it will be OK and they should just get it over with.  But James won’t do it but even after they blast him again and again they realize he won’t do it so have Jessica taken away.

So to the shifters and the wolves … yawn yawn yawn.  I really don’t know what is worse at this point .. the whining Sam storyline with that stupid Nicole tagging along or the Alcide the Asshole pack-master story with him needing someone to smack some reality sense back into him.  Well luckily for me they are all tied up this week and can be summed up easily.  Alcide’s dad did decide to tell him where Sam and Co. were (in between playing with the shifter hooker he picked up from the bar who spends all her time walking around naked and apparently eating chicken).  When Alcide arrives he decides he is unamused by the naked hooker who tells him he is a wolf and to get over it.  Anyway enough of that ….. Alcide goes to the room where Sam had been but they had gone.  Turns out Sam had called Martha and was handing Emma over to her on condition that she leaves the pack forever.  With Alcide the asshole as packmaster Martha agrees and her and Emma take off only moments before Alcide catches up with them and threatens Sam and Nicole.  Yawn Yawn Yawn.  Sam asks what happened to them being friends and Alcide basically backs down and tells Sam to go but he is officially “dead” so not to go back to Bon Temps, Shreveport, anywhere he can be recognized.  Yes well we know that isn’t going to happen.  So that was a whole waste of screen time if you ask me.  I expect next week Sam will head on back to the bar (especially when you read what happens later).

Other random info from this episode that doesn’t really fit in with anything else … Andy finally gives number 4 a name. Actually 4 names so that she can remember her sisters. Adeline, Braylin, Charlaine, Dannika.   A B C D, 1 2 3 4 ….. definitely a recurring thing this season.

Back in Fairy Land Warlow/Ben is worried about the approaching night (even though it is blazing daylight there) as he can feel it approaching back where they came from. So time difference not an issue now? *rolls eyes* More rule changes.  OK So they are there and Warlow/Ben is going to need to feed but instead he tells Sookie to tie him to the tree with some vines.  Oh yes a 5000 year old vampire tied to a tree with vines.  That should work …. or wait …. remember the Duct Tape fairy light power ….. Sookie is going to use that to bind the vines so everything will be OK.  Wonder when she got this 101 things you can use Fairy Light for manual.  It sure is coming in handy!  With Warlow/Ben all tied to the tree we get to hear more about the history, which is a lot of repeated dull stuff we already know, we learn that if Sookie and Warlow/Ben are together they can just feed off each other for eternity …. as long as Sookie becomes a vampire fae like him.  Hmmmmmmmm that is all rather stupid and convenient. But hey not my writing.  At least if she did that she could still sunbathe (which seems to be her main objection to the whole vampire thing).

Back in Bon Temps remember the whole Terry issue from last week? Well Terry turns up on Lafayette’s doorstep to give him a key to his safety deposit box and is acting very strange.  Lafayette realizes something is really wrong and calls Arlene who quickly puts 2 and 2 together and actually manages to make 4.  She knows what Terry is up to and plans to put a stop to it but doesn’t know how.  Holly actually provides the solution by having a vampire that she is friends with come and glamour Terry into forgetting everything that is wrong in his life.  Which is a great plan, but as he forgets the marines and all the bad things he also forgets that he asked someone to kill him when he was not expecting it.  Now my husband Greg came up with a GREAT situation that would have made even Alan Ball dance with glee, but sadly HBO didn’t go that route, but it was brilliant so I am going to share it anyway.  He thought it would be a real twist if when the guy was going to shoot Terry, Arlene got in the way and SHE ended up getting shot instead! And no one would have any idea why.  Now THAT would have been a story.  Instead we get Terry at work all ridiculously happy and loving life the next day, he takes the garbage out and BANG shot through the neck.  Now for a top sniper you would have thought he could have at least gone for a decent head shot and it be done with.  Instead we get time for him to be alive long enough for people to come out and for him to die in Arlene’s arms with her singing him a lullaby.  Quite touching I suppose but honestly as I sad last week I am kinda over the whole Terry story and if this is the loss that shocks Bon Temps … well I can live with that!

Back at Vamp Camp things are starting to get interesting although not enough time was spent there this week.  The Governor is really unhappy about the results of the little “Stake Experiment” and so he has other plans to torture Eric (who is shackles in a cage but still looks intimidating).  They bring in Nora, strapped to a gurney because stupid Steve Newlin has told the governor all about her too. They they inject her with Hep V …. a very very concentrated form of Hep D (yes someone on the script writing team has actually watched the whole show from the beginning) and she is going to be patient zero.  Oh this isn’t good. He wheels Nora right in front of Eric so Eric can watch her die but then as with all great villainous plots he then LEAVES and goes to see Willa who demands to be put in general population.  Yes there is a link there ….. While Willa is talking to Tara Eric “Calls” her and Tara recognizes the signs and help her devise a plan to get to Eric.  The plan actually works and it is Willa to the rescue even managing to keep the lab coat clean for Nora to wear before ripping the arm off the doctor which works to open the doors.  Hilarious!

Remember the more on Bill acting later? Well once he is revived by his scientist pet he sees the news on TV where they are explaining how Governor Burrell has partnered up and will be helping Tru Blood get back on the shelves …… AND at a discounted rate to help the vampire population get back on track and things get back to normal.  Hmmm yes something definitely wrong there!   Bill then  locks said pet in a cage and drinks the remainder of the Warlow/Ben Blood sample and then glows … and now he can walk in the sun.  He walks right out into the daylight and zips off to the Governor.  And now the bit that almost hurts to type …. Bill’s actions are actually funny and rather awesome.  He walks right into the compound with armed guards everywhere and he shows them his fangs, which totally freaks them out because the sun is shining.  So they start firing and Bill just walks on through those wooden bullets, as we know they don’t bother him right now, laughing at the pathetic humans and when he has enough  all the guards stop, guns still shakily raised, Bill has them all point the guns at each other …. and says FIRE and all the guards drop down dead in a little circle.  UGH sadly it really was a great scene to watch.  Even better he then goes right up to the Governor and has a very brief chat before sinking his fangs into his neck … and then RIPPING HIS HEAD RIGHT OFF and placing it on a nearby statue base.  In the words of Russell himself .. FANGTASTIC!!!! (Oh that really hurt to say about a Bill scene ……..guess the truth really does hurt lol)

Inside it is all systems go with Eric dressed as a guard (complete with chipped arm to open the doors) with “Doctor” Nora escorting prisoner Willa around the compound to find Pam and then Willa adds that she wants to find Tara and Jessica too which Eric doesn’t seem to care about but he does agree.  Nora is fading fast as they go from door to door but what they find behind one door suddenly explains why the Governor is keen to start supplying Tru Blood again.  Each bottle is going to come complete with a nice dose of Hep V.  It will be a disaster.  Eric maintains his composure but gives a resounding “Fuck me” as he leaves the room.  Yes this is bad for the vampires on a grand scale.

And so we reach the end and to finish this week we get some naked slutty Sookie (who we learn has the nickname “Danger Whore”.  I will stick with Slutty Sookie) and Warlow/Ben action.  Yes he is still tied to a tree but after re-enforcing the vines with some more fairy light she leans over so he can feed …. and then she returns the favor. Ummmmm WHAT??? Yes she takes a nice bite out of his neck and drinks to (presumably) heal her neck wound (we see it heal) and gather some strength for the sex they are about to have.  Honestly I could have done without this.  It was not really sexy, although credit where it is due for just having had twins Anna’s body looks great!!! I was going to say the scene was rather lack luster but then as it ended with them glowing, literally, as they go at it I guess lack luster probably wasn’t the best term.  We end with the glowing expanding out from them and getting brighter …….

And then the credits roll.  Will this light experiment zap them back to reality? Who knows. Stranger things have happened on this show.  The previews for next week look amazing, with Eric begging Billith to save Nora …. but then the trailers for this week fooled me too.  One this is for sure …. Waiting Sucks … and with only 4 episodes I hate that we are almost at the end already *sigh*.  At least we know there is a Season 7 to look forward to 😀

V””V

 

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My Favorite Lines From “Don’t You Feel Me”

  • Lafayette – “Let me get this hetro-staight”
  • Jason – “Beheadenism”
  • Jennie – “Come on we’re werewolves … butch the fuck up!”
  • Terry – “There’s No “The Fuck” “
  • Eric – “Are You Mad That I Turned Your Daughter Into My Daughter”
  • Willa – “Wow I’m Dead And You Are STILL Being Overprotective”
  • Eric – “Well Done Baby Vampire”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 5 – “**** The Pain Away” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So let me start by saying this week’s episode jumped all over the place making you REALLY have to pay attention to stay with what was going on.  Now usually I try and “group” a bunch of split up parts together for smoother reading but I think that there will be less of that this week as the jumping back and forth really sort of added to the whole crazy feel.  Yes that is my decision and we will see how that works. 😀  Oh yes and that means this is going to be looooong … so you might want to go get a drink before starting lol.

This week starts right where last week left off with Ben/Warlow in a compromising position over a half-naked Sookie who is threatening him with her light ball.  OK even as I read that I was thinking “only in a True Blood review would that even make sense!” …. So yes Sookie is being all badass (although she lets him up so they are now wandering around the room – her still with her magic light ball – him looking a lot less concerned than he should) when Sookie lets out a tirade about how sick she is of vampires and them saying they love her when all they want to do is hurt her, drink her blood blah blah blah.  In Ben/Warlow’s defense (I am really going to have to choose a name for him this 2 name thing is annoying ME already) …..He is a daywalker so I don’t think her blood is really a priority to him …. and I don’t actually think he wants to kill her.  Of course if he was a sexier being then I would probably be even more on his side …. seriously?? Casting director??  What happened there?  Did you decide we had enough man/vamp candy on the screen because let me assure you YOU WERE WRONG!!!!

And now we jump to Jessica and Bill (Yes right in the middle of the Sookie drama) and Jessica is distraught and sobbing having eaten all 4 of Andy’s fairy kids. Just as I was thinking … hmmmmmm Eric drank one fairy and got all drunk and happy …. Jessica drinks 4 and is sobbing and remorseful – what’s up with that …… the “High” part kicks in and she decides she needs to make a pass .. at BILL!! EWWWWWWW UGH really?? That was not a scene that EVER needed to be written.  Gross, unnecessary, *shudders* just NO!!!  Luckily Bill realizes she is high and pushes her away but that image is just still there for everyone to see. Jessica would definitely be the annoying drunk girl at a party …. but Bill goes into Daddy mode and says they will work it all out… after all he pretty much thinks he is a God now.

Back at Sookies Ben / Warlow reveals some interesting news. According to him he DIDN’T kill Sookie’s parents because he is some mean old vampire … he did it because her parents were going to KILL HER and HE saved her.  Ummmmm WHAT????  Yes that is what he is claiming and the way he is acting you have to wonder if he is actually telling the truth.  He certainly doesn’t seem to be in any kind of a hurry to kill her now. Sookie is not amused though and zaps him with her light…. which triggers Bill at his house to start having all sorts of flashback visions and then things just go crazy …..

Bill rushes over to Sookies and even Sookie points out that she thought she was dead to him …. but he is not there to save her,  Oh no .. he is there to pick up Ben/Warlow … and …. AS HIS MAKER command him to come back with him.  Ummmm WHAT???? And then I took 2 seconds to work it out and yes I suppose … in theory … if Bill is now Lillith incarnate and the Vampire bible made Warlow Lilith’s progeny then yes Bill would be able to order him around …. interesting …..  Oh and side note to Sookie … it is pretty hard to stand there looking intimidating in your underwear with a pretty light ball in your hand.

Opening credits roll (yes ALL that happened in less than 5 minutes before them) and we come back to Andy turning up at the Compton manor looking for his 4 girls.  Awwww poor Andy 😦  I actually felt sorry for him …. and then I thought OH NO he is going to DIE … but he doesn’t…. well not in this episode anyway.  He searches the room and finds his 4 girls laying there, all apparently dead.  Jessica is hiding but probably not well enough if Andy hadn’t been distracted by one of his girls actually having managed to survive and hanging on to life by a thread.  So he does what any good dad would do in Bon Temps, pick her up, take her to the Sheriff’s station and give her some V out of the evidence boxes to fix her right up.  Well it works at least!  As for the other 3 we are yet to see what is going to happen with them.  They kinda skirt the whole issue of the bodies in the rest of the episode …. does Bill come back and get rid of them??  We know Andy doesn’t go back there as Holly talks him out of what would obviously be a suicide mission.  Hmmmmmmm Apparently the story is going to be that 3 of them went off with their Fairy mama.  Not really that convincing if you ask me …. but then again the town just watched the girls grow from babies to almost adults in less than a week … so I guess that would work.

Off to the vampires that I actually DO care about seeing .. well one of them anyway.  Tara goes to find Eric (who apparently hasn’t moved since we saw him last week) and explains that Pam has been taken by the LAVTF (for those that missed it last week Louisiana Vampire Task Force) and she wants to know what they are going to do.  And Eric’s grand plan is apparently turn themselves in and try a rescue from the inside out.  I’M SORRY WHAT???? That has got to be the stupidest plan ever!! Did they not live through last season with the whole being locked down by the Authority.  Maybe that is the problem.  Maybe Eric thinks that because he got out of that he can get out of anything that humans will have come up with.  Oh I KNOW this is a bad idea as I sit here yelling at the screen “WHAT ARE YOU THINKING” …… not that it makes any difference because Eric isn’t listening and so him AND Tara surrender and off to vampire camp they go. *sigh*

Talking of the “Vampire Camp” we get a brief glimpse as Pam is walked through it to see what they are up to … at least in some of the rooms.  Scientists are pulling fangs, and watching vampires have sex.  As Pam points – lots of scientific value in that. We see Eric and Tara being escorted through … hoods on …. and Eric says find Pam.  Does he really think he is still in control?? Ugh MEN!!

And then we are off to the Governor’s mansion as he has to send his poor baby Willa to vampire camp.  Now really?  That’s not nice! But with Sarah egging him on it looks like there is no choice but if this is going to happen then he is going to be the one to take her.  Much to Sarah’s dismay … she has on her sexy black lingerie and thinks this is the time to talk about having another baby.  Yep she definitely has more than one screw loose although she did make me laugh. (She made my favorite lines list at the bottom of the page 😀 )

And so back to Bill and Ben/Warlow and all the craziness going on there.  Bill is using the whole “As Your Maker” thing to basically stay alive but as he takes Ben/Warlow’s blood we get a bunch of flashbacks to when he was turned by Lilith.  I saw again ….. Why couldn’t they have found someone sexier for this role.  Especially as we get to see him naked and having sex with Lilith.  Oh this could have been really sexy …. but wasn’t.  Thus Ben / Warlow was created and we learn that he was actually Niall’s father and I am guessing that is why he spared that child alone in the village.  Whilst this is all very relevent and necessary knowledge to be honest I would happily have skipped all of this for more time in Vampire camp.  Bottom line … Billith controls Ben/Warlow and thinks he will be their salvation even though it turns out he was the one responsible for Lilith’s death (he fried her with the sun as she slept) and Ben/Warlow thinks all vampires should probably just die and he wants to go play with Sookie.  OK Maybe not quite as simple as that .. but good enough.

Sarah decides after being left abandoned by Governor to take Willa to camp that the best person to go see is Jason. As Jason points out they didn’t exactly part on good terms but I guess Sarah is horny and wants to get laid and there is no one she likes better.  And get laid she does.  Finally some sex on the screen this season that doesn’t make me go Ewww!!! Now if we can just get some decent vampire Sex this season will get better still!!!  Hot and steamy action aside Sarah is still a major bitch.  As they lay recovering from their antics there is a knock at the door, well more like a frantic pounding, from Jessica who is still high on Fairy blood and doesn’t know what she wants to do other than tell someone how bad she is.

She is trying to have a philosophical debate about whether Bill could be God or the Devil and about Love …. but she is trying to do this with Jason …… and bless his heart he just has no idea what is going on.  But he obviously cares about her …. and seems to have forgotten there is vampire hating bitch up in his bed and it isn’t too surprising to us when Sarah comes down to join the little party and as awkward as it could be with 2 people you have slept with in the same room, this tension is up about 1000 times higher.  Poor Jason is stuck in the middle ….. literally … of these 2 crazy women, for a moment anyway until Jessica crosses the room to attack (or try to have sex with) Sarah … she is a little mixed up right now. Mixed up enough that Sarah quoting the bible at her is enough to make her stop?? hmmmmm OK let’s blame the fairy high for that one because that is ridiculous! But not as ridiculous as Sarah being able to rescind the invitation to Jason’s house … Ummmmm even Jason knows that’s NOT how it works and tells Sarah she can’t do that because it is HIS house … but the supernatural rules, for whatever reason, do not care and out the door Jessica goes, right into the arms of the waiting LAVTF that Sarah has called.  Not good! So quick vampire count here we now have pretty much our full main vampire cast at the Vampire Camp ….. Pam, Eric, Nora (who we don’t see this week), Tara and Jessica. So I say let’s have a whole episode in there 😀 but sadly no …….

 Well we knew it had to happen eventually and sure enough we have to deal with Alcide and his issues over finding Emma which apparently means he has to go hunting in a dive bar with his dad.  This week continues with Alcide the asshole with his pack master fever and he even turns on his father when he tries to give him a little advice and tells him to leave and literally throws money at him to get him to clear off. Well whatever.  For me this storyline is dumb and dull and I don’t know what the writer’s are thinking with his character but I was never a wolf fan to start with but by the end of this season he won’t have any fans left … well none with brains anyway.

As for where Sam is, well him, Nicole and Emma are still in the motel with Nicole having major regrets about the night before’s little action.  She is so stupid she tries to go and make a phone call but Sam stops her causing a big fight outside where people can see. And who should see … but Alcide’s dad!  I guess with the money that was supposed to get him home he decided to hire a hooker and go to a motel instead.  Now the decision is going to be ….. does he go running to Alcide and try and win back favor … or does he just ignore it and start his life over.  Because he is a wolf, and thus in my estimation stupid to start with, I am guessing he is going to go with the former.  That and of course it will make things much easier for the writers to explain how Alcide the Asshole found them when all his leads are coming up dead lol

Keeping all the things I couldn’t care less about together, Terry has invited an old colleague “Justin” to Merlotte’s to “catch up”.  Even Justin is not buying that is the reason and Terry soon admits that he actually wants to pay Jessie to kill him because of what he did to Patrick.  Arlene comes over obviously realising something is up but can’t do much about it other than try to get Terry to come away which he says he will in just a couple minutes.  After that Justin seems rather keen to help Terry out and agrees that he will do it for free.  Obviously there is more history there than we are getting but I really couldn’t care less.  This whole story line is just taking up valuable time that could be spent at the vampire camp!  DULL DULL DULL.  I used to really like Terry but at this point I don’t think I even care whether they follow through with this or not.  *YAWN*.

Back at vampire camp we get to see what they get up to when they catch the vampires.  They put them in a room with 3 other vampires and drop balls from the ceiling.  Rules are easy (although not explained) …. 4 vamps 3 balls … catch a ball or get shot with something nasty …. doesn’t kill them as no goo piles.  3 vamps .. 2 balls … catch a ball or get shot….  Eric actually seems to be enjoying this,  And why wouldn’t he? After all I am pretty sure that most 1000 year old vampires have gone into hiding with all this stuff going on.  So you have the rules now and there are 2 vamps left….. so 1 ball right?? Wrong!! 2 doors open and there are guns behind them and well the poor vamp left standing with Eric didn’t stand a chance.  He had his gun and had shot her before she could barely even get to hers.  Shame. Well not really …. as much as I am pro vamps it was kinda fun to watch Eric being all superior and really treating it as a game.  I really get the impression at this point he thinks he is so superior that nothing they do can phase him.  Oh Eric … pride comes before disaster ….. yes I know that’s wrong but it’s my blog and that works for me!

With Eric champion in his little game we see him moved to “general population” with a blue suit with a number 1 on it.  As he announced to the rest of the vamps in his area who he is and why he is there we see that all the vampires are wearing the same blue clothes with numbers between 1 and 4 on them. Fairies 1 – 4 …. Vampires 1 – 4 …. wonder if there will be some kind of easter egg with that.  Probably not. More likely me over obsessing again …… anyway where was I … oh yes Eric acting like he owns the room and then being totally ignored by the other vampires.  They must “feel” his power though because they all back away and leave him to his own space.

Meanwhile Pam (who is also a 1) is in a meeting with a psychiatrist called Finn played excellently by Pruitt Taylor Vince.  Pam, as we all know is not a big fan of “sharing” and volunteers her services in the room where they are watching the vampires have sex but Finn is not having any of that.  He manages to convinces her to share by bringing in a live donor (who by the end of it would probably be dead if Pam hadn’t decided she had had enough because Finn was definitely more interested in getting answers, and possibly watching a little girl on girl, rather than the donor making it through the process).  Pam is brilliant in this scene making it quite clear what she thinks about humans and about pretty much everything in general.  It was great to see more of the old Pam back, faltering only slightly when the subject of makers came up, but even then she was back in full sarcasm mode rather quickly, but not so quickly that Finn didn’t notice the reaction.

Jessica meets up with Tara in their part of the vampire camp (note they are both 3’s) and Jessica is still having her little breakdown as she comes down from her fairy high.  She doesn;t even want the little cup of blood offered to her and gives it to Tara which almost sparks a fight with Tara stepping in front to guard her but some random “ranked 1” vamp steps up and puts a stop to it all.  She then lets Tara and Jessica know she feels “owed”. Hmmmmm just like prison then but as to what role she will play is yet to be seen.

Willa arrives at camp and see’s Tara but isn’t allowed to be with her as she is “special” and doesn’t go into general population.   She gets her own little room all locked away by herself.  Special or not it doesn’t stop the pervy guard from making suggestive remarks and when Willa points out who her father is she is reminded, by said pervy guard, that her father put her in there.  Hmmmm think on that Willa!  Don’t worry though …. I have a feeling Eric will be a lot more annoyed when he finds out so revenge may yet be yours.

Back in Bon Temps Sookie has decided to take things into her own hands about the whole Ben/Warlow revelation and does what anyone would do …. go find a medium.  Yay more Lafayette!! Love that he was totally unphased when she reveals that the creepy thing in her bathroom had turned out to be a vampire fairy hybrid who had escaped from another dimension.  Where else are you going to get lines like that?  Awesome!! So off they go to have a nice little séance at Sookie’s house to see what Sookie’s parents have to say about the whole them trying to kill her claims.  Turns out, this was not such a good plan!  Firstly they don’t want to come and talk, and then when they do things get even worse with a flashback to Sookie’s childhood where it is revealed that her dad did in fact try to kill her rather than her become a vampire fairy princess, and THEN he takes over Lafayette’s body and decides that he is going to carry out the drowning plan that he started back then and poor possessed Lafayette wrestles Sookie into the trunk of her car.  Oh this is not good!!

Continuing with the bad ideas Jason has decided that he needs to rescue Jessica and to do that he needs to get into vampire camp and so he is off to join the LAVTF.  He tries to call Sookie, who probably would have told him what a bad idea this was, but she is locked in the trunk of the car by the possessed Lafayette so isn’t answering.  With no one to stop him sign up he does and of course with his history they are thrilled to get him.  How many vampires have you killed Jason ….. he answers This week?  Yep definitely their kind of asshole.  Let’s hope for a Jason from the end of S2 ….. fellowship of the sun paintball style.  That I could get behind lol.

With Sookie trapped in the trunk of the car we flash over to Bill’s where Ben/Warlow is having a little freak out and threatening the scientist.  Now is this because he can sense Sookie is in danger? This isn’t specified but I am going to go with probably yes and that is how she will be saved.  After all she is dead to Bill although maybe he will feel her danger and send Ben/Warlow … not quite got the exact details worked out but I am pretty sure that next week something related to this will result in Sookie getting saved…. after all they aren’t going to kill her off.

Now we might know that , but the possessed Lafayette has other ideas as he brings her to the lake and is about to drown her …. head shoves under the water she screams but can’t escape …. and we have to wait until next week to see if my theories are correct …..

More frightening than that is what is going on over at Vampire Camp … after all we all know Sookie isn’t going to get drowned.  We get to see Sarah Newlin bringing the Governor in for a “surprise”.  At first things seem a little weird because the surprise would appear to be Sarah’s gay ex husband Steve and the Governor is not amused.  But then they bring Eric into a room on the other side of the glass and things become a little clearer.  They have the vampire that turned his Willa and they are going to have some “fun” with him.  Eric seems rather unbothered by this although is clearly not happy when he finds out that Willa is in the camp.  Seriously what kind of father does that? But he is game to play along and tells them to bring him something to kill. After all, he is 1000 years old, not much in there that will stop him. Things turn nasty though because Steve has been providing intel …. Steve who by the way only rates a 4 in their system which I found hilarious….. he is soooooooooooo a 4 lol …… anyway the intel provided is just not good.  Eric’s opponent is Pam.  Oh this is not good!!  Eric and Pam trapped in a room with 2 stakes and both of them just standing there.  Sarah is unamused and wants them to just FIGHT but they just don’t move.  Oh there will be no answers this week …..

Even worse we get to see trailers for next week and Eric is in the room and Pam asks him about him making another vampire and she looks MAD and then we see the Governor laughing and saying here we go … and then we see Eric looking through a hole in blood splattered  glass and a stake shaped hole  and he sees’ Steve and Steve looks scared!!!   Oh no please tell me this is just being set up to look like he killed Pam …. he couldn’t …. Oh Eric don’t do it … PLEASE let this be an HBO trailer tease and a reveal of something totally different next week.

UGH WAITING SUCKS   😥

V””V

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My Favorite Lines From  “**** The Pain Away”

  • Sarah – “When A Woman Comes To You In Black Lingerie … You Unwrap Her!”
  • Jason – “I guess that’s good because Steven turned out to be a gay vampire”
  • Jenny (Hooker at bar) – “I don’t see why a big male wolf like you can’t find no pussy in a pack he claims he runs but I sure like the looks of you so you won’t hear me complaining”
  • Sarah – “I am NOT Steve Newlin’s ex-wife I am my OWN person!”
  • Sarah – “My Body Is A Temple and you have DEFILED it with your vampire loving pecker!”
  • Pam – “Your insignificance to me cannot be underestimated … you are food … nothing else!”
  • Pam – “I like to think of myself as especially unremorseful”
  • Sarah – “Haven’t You Seen Gladiator …. Fucking FIGHT!”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 4 – “At Last” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So this week starts with Jason being carried in by Ben and looking not too good at all.  He is still definitely on my radar for “not going to survive this season”.  As Ben lays him on the couch Sookie muses that they need vampire blood but with no vampires easily on hand for a change she goes to call an ambulance instead.  But wait … it is vampire blood to the rescue and looks like Jason is going to be OK.  So let’s do a quick head count as to who is in the house with Sookie …. we have ….. Sookie, Jason, Ben …. and Niall outside with Nora.  So did Nora decide to help….. nope she is busy arguing with Niall about Warlow being the only one that can deal with Lilith because he is the progeny before deciding he just smells tooo good to eat causing her to get zapped off to the road to be promptly shot with those evil bullets and  picked up by the LAVTF (Louisiana Vampire Task Force .. pay attention they are going to come up again) to be whisked off to the mystery detention camp.

OK then I know what you are thinking … Bill comes back to apologize and helps out?  Wrong ……. it’s BEN to the rescue.  Yes VAMPIRE BEN!!  Well technically Vampire /Fairy hybrid Ben?  I know I know damn rules keep on changing.  Well I KNEW something was up with him but must confess I didn’t see this coming.  And obviously he wants it kept hidden because when Sookie comes back and Jason is all healed they claim he must have not have been as bad as they thought .. Hmmmmmmmmmm

Ben “appears the hero” and he and Sookie have a little moment before he leaves because Niall is not happy that he helped Jason instead of playing capture the vamp.  Bet he would be even MORE unhappy if he knew HOW Ben was helping!

After everyone leaves and we get treated to Jason doing pull ups on the door frame “Arrow Style” , Sookie starts to realize something is wrong and she goes down to where Jason had been on the couch and finds just a couple of drops of blood …. funky weird blood like from the fairy club ….. Ooooohhhhhh Wait WHAT?  So Ben is Warlow?  Huh? Oh now I’m confused and that is never a good thing.  At this point I would normally question what the hell Alan Ball is thinking ….. but he isn’t around now so I will have to just say congratulations on continuing the ONE thing from Alan Ball we wanted to lose!!! BLAH!!!!!

But Wait …. we all know what vamp blood means … sexy dreams!!!!  And this is no exception. We get a very weird Ben / Jason type dream involving shaving and lots of innuendo and sexy music.  Enough that my husband was cringing and saying NOT JASON!!! lol.

Over at the werewolf pack (yes I couldn’t care less either but I have to assume at some point something here will be relevent and believe it or not there are actually Alcide fans out there) … Alcide is being a total ass about everything.  This PackMaster crap has really gone to his head.  Not only did they kill off the rest of those Supe fans last week but now they want to hunt down the one with the crazy hair (Nicole) that got away (helped by Sam … still say he should have left her).  Add to this they discover that Sam managed to get Emma and it becomes full scale “get your hunt on”. Yawn!! Wolves are so boring!

In the meantime Sam is taking Emma through the woods trying to get as far ahead of them as they can and being totally slowed down by Nicole.  My husband bought up a great point .. why didn’t Sam just shift into a horse and carry them? Which amused the hell out of me until Lafayette was suddenly right there with the car (and as unamused about having saved Nicole as I was) and they all get in and drive off.

Ginger is busy doing her best impersonation of “Eric will be right with you” on the phone with Governor Burrell and then as the place gets stormed Ginger does what she does best and SCREAM!!! She does stop to remember that she is glamoured and meant to tell the Governor that Eric will be right with him because the knots are hard.  Oh Ginger is so messed up.  Even the Governor can see she has been glamoured way more times than she should (remember Season 1 ….. how many glamours ago was that and Pam and Eric were almost worried about her) and he thinks they will have “fun” with her at the camp. Wanna bet that it isn’t our idea of fun??

Eric and Pam are of course looking for Tara who took off with Willa without permission.  Did Tara forget all the vamp powers so it didn’t work out too well as Pam just summoned her.  When Tara doesn’t want to tell them where she took Willa Pam is about to use the trusty “As Your Maker” command but Tara starts screaming.  Well enough with that already! So Eric slams her to the ground and gets the info the old fashioned way.  Have I mentioned that I am loving this seasons Eric? With Willa’s location eric takes off to deal with her leaving Pam irritated that he was mean to Tara.  Wish they would sort the whole Pam / Eric dynamic out.  This is the one thing that really isn’t working for me *sigh*.

Back at the Bellefleur house the fairy girls 1,2,3 and 4 still don’t have names and are now reminding Terry of the little thing he really wants to forget. That he killed Patrick.  PLEASE do not let this be a lead up to Terry going off the rails … again …… dull dull dull ….. but I can’t really see why else this is going to keep popping up.  Someone find a vamp to glamour him already!! PLEASE!!  Anyway fairy girls are sent to bed and there is a cute moment with Andy telling him he is glad he is their dad (awwwwwwww) … but then he shuts the door, the lights go off, and suddenly they are 18!!! UGH!!  I have to say the whole scene was hilarious with the girls comparing boobs and then deciding they need to sneak out and party and the ONLY access to clothes they have is Arlene’s closet!!! TOO FUNNY!!! But seriously they make so much noise, and Andy is supposed to be a cop, on alert, AND a new dad, and NOONE notices as they leave … WITH the Sheriff’s car?  That they just somehow know how to drive? Oh well … let the fun and games begin.  We all know that they are going to get captured by Bill for his crazy experiments …. and they do.

Actually Jessica convinces Bill to let her “abduct” them from the liquor store (nice to see they have the original clerk there .. I got a kick out of that!) ….. and she does a good job convincing them to come party with her … even though she smells funny cos she’s dead.  Oh we know this won’t end well.

So they get back to Bill’s and one of the little fairy girls hits on Bill .. ewwwwwww yes it’s gross.  Bill is more interested in his little history toy that they use when they don’t want to bite people.  Really? Who came up with that?  It just draws blood and stores it in little vials after being strapped on their wrist.  Honestly, it just seemed kinda stupid. And to think that these girls would be hitting on Bill?  RIDICULOUS!!  Once Bill has the blood he takes it to his captured scientist down in the lab and tells him he needs to replicate the fairy blood.  Hmmmmm Failure is not an option!!  Should probably have sounded threatening … to me it just sounded funny!!! But it worked and science guy goes off to work.

And it is on to my favorite part of this week’s episode.  Now I am sure that there are going to be a LOT of fans out there that hated it but I DON’T CARE!!!  Eric gets to where Willa is and finds that she was waiting for him.  Apparently Tara is so stupid she didn’t even glamour her to stay put *sigh* (Tara is SO annoying).  Eric and Willa have a flirty little conversation and Eric is just so charming.  Oh how could anyone resist ….. actually why would anyone WANT to resist lol…. and he carries her off in her flowing white dress (how symbolic) and digs their grave and they jump in.  The music plays, and Eric takes off his shirt and lays down with her *sigh*. She is scared and excited and he just looks at her and says Death is not the end……. is it going to hurt ….. not the way I do it … and fangs come down.  Oh HELL yes!! Now THIS is the True Blood I like to watch.  YAY for vampire Eric!!! 😀  All of you that are out there bitching can just keep it to yourself.  My FAV scene of the season SO FAR!! BY FAR!!!   Anyway where was I …. got distracted there for a bit … got to love the rewind option 😉 …… soooooo fangs down and he leans in for the bite … .although half of the blood in typical true blood feeding style runs everywhere (They should take a couple of lessons from Claudia .. not a drop spilled – FIRST FEEDING …. just saying …) ….. And as Willa lays there dying .. blood running into the ground ….. Eric lets her know that everything her father put in her is now leaving and it is going to be replaced by a millennium of wisdom, honor, and life.  Hmmmmm I always said I wanted Pam as my maker …. I may have changed my mind …..

Then in typical true blood fashion it is daytime and we are with Nicole, Alcide and Emma and Lala.  Nicole plans on limping away with her nasty bite on her leg but Sam convinces her that that would basically just kill her.  Same sends Lafayette away in the car after thanking him for his help and then I had to laugh because Sam turns into a horse!!! TOO FUNNY!!! I actually had to slap my husband at this point because of his earlier comment because seriously how hilarious is that!!!!  Awesome!!!!!   A short time later Alcide and his pack of crazy turn up and are irritated they haven’t caught them yet.  Alcide goes all packmaster crazy with his orders and decides just 2 of them will track Sam and the others can go back.  Oh Why are pack politics so boring? And why is Alcide still being such an asshole.  You know the V has had to have worn off by now!  Guess we can call that packmaster Fever? Hmmm on second thought who cares ….. Oh Later we get to see Sam and Nicole in a hotel room and they are obviously going to get it on.  Which is just stupid!  They were just talking about Luna dying in his arms and he turns to another.  UGH .. enough with the damn shifters and crap!! so I just threw this in with this bit because they are all boring me. Show me the vamps!!!

All over town daytime plans are continuing.  Sookie knows something is up with Ben so does the obvious thing and goes and invites him for dinner.  Actually she does have a plan …. and not just the whole Slutty Sookie thing which she does bring back into play …. Slutty Sookie is not so much fun this season though I have to say ….. but hey it could be worse … she could be going after Alcide!   Jason has a little heart to heart with Niall and Niall “sees” his sexy dream with Ben and works out that everything is wrong so they decide to go after him (without Sookie knowing of course. There can be no kind of useful communication in this show ever … I think it’s a rule when then write the scripts!)

Andy has finally realised that the kids are missing and puts out a crazy APB for 4 caucasian females between 4 and 7 feet tall, between 60 and 260lbs and between the ages of 10 and 50.  Poor Andy …. how would you be able to describe the kids that change that fast?  Terry tries to rationalize that they are just out having fun but as Andy says it isn’t really safe out there right now and well things aren’t going to get better any time soon.

As Sookie shops (and leaves messages telling Jason to keep himself and Niall OUT for the evening), Jason and Niall decide to go hunt down Warlow / Ben / whatever he is.  They find him .. about to take a shower ….. and they go in with Jason armed with a Shot Gun and Niall with his Light Ball.  Sadly Ben is ready for them and he glamours Jason while he makes it clear he is about to do away with Niall.  Poor Jason 😦  He has been mind messed with almost as much as Ginger.  That can’t be good for him.  So Jason leaves (with no memory of what is going on) and Ben starts draining Niall (A mouthful at a time and spitting it out … not quite sure what is up with that). On a side note can I add I really wish they had chosen someone more charismatic to play this Ben / Warlow character.  He just isn’t working for me at all!!!  Just fry him already!  Anyway he takes Niall off to the bridge, not dead, and throws him through the weird portal that keeps appearing there.  Very strange! Is Niall gone for good?  Did they do a Roman and bring him in just to get rid of a big name so fast? Something tells me no … but we will see.

Night falls and Bill is working with his little scientist friend to try and sort out the fairy blood but of course it isn’t that easy.  When Mr Scientist realises that there are other prisoners (ie the fairies) upstairs he says he won’t help which results in Bill floating him around the ceiling until he agrees.   Silly scientist doesn’t seemed to have worked out quite how much trouble he is in.  Probably still thinking about Jessica in last week’s school girl outfit lol.  Sadly for Bill, upstairs the fairies had decided they had had enough and wanted to leave and got way too close to Jessica when she tried to stop them and so she ate them all.  Yep she ate 4 fairies …. but instead of being high she is crying and sobbing and sorry in a corner hoping they aren’t dead. Hmmmmmmm that isn’t right.  Eric is 1000 years old and drains one fairy and is drunk as a skunk and hilarious ….. Jessica, still basically a baby vamp drinks 4 and is just sad?  Hope they plan on explaining THAT next week!!

Andy finally tracks down his cop car and goes to the liquor store where the girls met up with Jessica and Jason realises that the clerk was glamoured and Andy suddenly realises his little vamp daughters are in danger.  But he may be too late …… Did they actually bring them in just to kill them off??  Guess we will see next week ……

With night falling of course Willa has risen and Eric, being the awesome maker that he is has a fresh person on hand to pay to feed her.  Like take out :D.  Love the symbolism of the pure white dress now bloody and filthy as she wanders around with her new vampires senses although she is rather crude when she asks if they are going to fuck and hunt.  Eric luckily has other plans.  He is sending her back to her father so he can see that vampires are not monsters and that they were once human.  He explains over her protests that she is only the second vampire he has made in over 1000 years and he did not choose this likely but when reasoning fails he just uses the whole “As Your Maker I command You” trick and off she goes.  I do love that!!

Talking of Eric’s children, his other child Pam is trying to deal with Tara who is being a pain in the ass as usual and her bitching ends up getting Pam caught by the LAVTF.  UGH I HATE Tara!! And I am irritated with Pam because she keeps letting Tara influence her. I want the old Pam and Eric back!!!!!! Anyway now the LAVTF have Steve, Pam, and Nora that we know of.  Oh this isn’t good.

Their leader, Governor Burrell is at his home with Sarah Newlin and apparently he is “With” Sarah.   YUCK!! Did not need that image thank you oh so much HBO!  Well Sarah is about to talk to the Governor about something very important when they are interrupted by guards who have the new vampire Willa with them.  The Governor sends the guards out … yes not too smart… and Willa tries to explain that it is still her.  Sadly this all kinda goes to hell when she smells the wound on his hand and goes right for his throat but Sarah shoots her before she can do any real damage and says she needs to get sent off to camp.  Hmmmmm now I wonder was this Eric’s plan? She is after all a newborn? Or did he think with his blood in her and a good feeding that she would be able to control herself?  Perhaps his plan is to get her into the camp so he can track her and find where it is?  Guess we will have to wait and see.

Sookie is all ready for her date with Ben / Warlow who is late …. and who has had his food laced with silver.  Good plan Sookie but apparently either you gave him the wrong plate or you can add dealing with silver to his walk in the sun abilities.  Isn’t it great when they can just make up rules as they go along?  Maybe they read the last book after all lol.  Sookie is babbling on about Bill, and liars, and what Ben really wants and for a moment I almost thought she believed that Ben was wanting to be with her ….. especially when she started taking her clothes off.  But apparently slutty Sookie is not as stupid as we all thought and she traps him on the couch with her sparkly light ball that she has been practicing and the final words … Get off Me Or Die Warlow!!!!

And now we wait!!! UGH!!!  And Waiting SUCKS!!!! This season is definitely my favorite for a long time and I want it to be Sunday NOW!!!!

V””V

trueeric2

My Favorite Lines From  “ At Last”

  • Arlene – “Uncle Terry has a very active imagination and it is rude to snoop around in it”
  • Andy – “It’s time for bed … you ain’t slept since you were 3”
  • Bill – “Failure Is Not An Option”
  • Eric – “So Much Courage, So Little Experience”
  • Eric – “Death Is Not The End”
  • Jason – “Even though you’re a fairy …. you’re kind of a straight fairy right?”