Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )… let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!
Still with me? Right then here we go!! At the end of last week we had … well not a whole lot really. Sookie was preaching in the church and there was no cliffhanger to speak of.
This week opens NOT in Bon Temps at all but rather somewhere exotic with ERIC standing by a window and Jason coming to find him … wait Jason???? Ummmmmm OK Brian Buckner I see where this is going and sure enough insert Eric / Jason sexy type dream sequence. Not bad …. I never realized how short Jason was ….. and it was enough man on man action that my husband was groaning lol but over all other than putting Eric back on the screen it seemed kinda pointless. Kudos to them though ….. it was believable. Great chemistry 😀 The look Eric gave when he grabbed Jason by the throat and threw him to the chair?? Ummmmmm yes please!!!! Jason is crazy as ever and you never know what what is going to come out of his mouth so that was kinda fun and Eric can just stand there and look pretty …. that works. I’m going to be sad if they kill Jason off… poor Jason .. he was on my watch list last season as one of the most likely to die …. would hate to see him survive that only to die this season :(. That being said ….. with this happening BEFORE the credits it certainly woke me up …… but that was a highlight … it is pretty much ALL down hill from here (Except a brief minute at the end but you will have to wait for that). …. Oh and Jason waking from his dream in the Church … hilarious!!
So Eric is not dead …. shocker …. yes well we all knew he would be appearing and his name is back in the credits so that was all obviously just to try and mess with bloggers like me. Rutina Wesley is now absent from said credits (despite making a brief appearance this week) so I guess well played? If this is the best “Game” you have for us bloggers Brian Buckner you get a C- Must Try Harder. You know if they show wasn’t falling apart in front of our eyes we would have more SHOW stuff to focus on.
Right then on with the rest of the episode that can pretty much be set into 3 little boxes, none of which I would personally bother to open! This whole episode is basically set during the day which means we get little to know vamp interaction and the stuff we do is from Hep V vamps we know little about and care about the same amount! We start with most of the town together and Sookie realizing that no one knows what to do but she has a plan because she found a body in the woods. Yup at this point nobody even asks why this is the first time this is coming up *sigh* ……. Anyway this leads to the decision that the box 1 action will consist of Sookie, Jason, Alcide, Sam, and Andy all leaving to investigate the body. Box 2 action will consist of the adventures over at Fangtasia with the Hep V Vamps and their well known prisoners, and Box 3 will be the “Wanna Be Justice League” from last week and the rest of the town that are “sorting things out” including Lettie Mae, Lafayette (Briefly) and Adelyn.
BOX 1 – Sookie, Jason, Alcide, Sam, and Andy and their out of town adventure. They start by going back to the body Sookie found and getting an address off her license. Jason and Andy so a bit of very unconvincing police work and then after trying to call the mayor and sheriff of the other town (Yes they know their numbers … not they aren’t saved because they dial them in …. *rolls eyes at the stupidity*) And off they go on their road trip to Saint Alise. When they arrive they find is a totally deserted place with everything boarded up, spray painted messages everywhere with things like FEMA HELP and SOS and NO signs of anything living (or Unliving).
They find a mass grave filled with the remains on the town, at least those that they assume weren’t taken for snacks on the go….. as Sookie puts it they were either “killed or tooken”. They manage to find the dead woman’s house and Jason is able to use “Pizza Forensics” to establish that they have been gone about 2 1/2 days. For those not familiar with this tactic it involves eating left of pizza found on a table. Must have been good because as the investigation continues he continues eating.
Sookie finds the bedroom and a diary and we get to hear her read the diary entries (Which are from 2010 and 2011 although happening just a couple of days ago so I guess that is where we are in the True Blood universe date wise). We learn that the dead girl had a fling with a vamp just like Sookie right down to the trip to Fangtasia, and they thought it was love. Some great flashbacks to S1 ….. remember S1 …. when this show was awesome beyond belief and we thought nothing would ever match it *sigh* ….. anyway we learn that as we thought the vamps came, destroyed everyone and everything, and didn’t even spare a baby. I think this was supposed to be dramatic and hard hitting but I’m afraid by this point in this week’s episode all I could think was hmmmmm so it it is 2011. You know that this all making Sookie think about Bill ……. Ooooh Alcide I knew a wolf just wasn’t going to hack it Mwahahahahahahaha. So after all that they go back to Bon Temps (after Alcide having a moment in the car where he says they could just keep driving…… UGH Alcide you REALLY suck! And not in the fun vampy way!)
BOX 2 – The Hep V Vamps holed up at Fangtasia with Holly, Arlene, Nicole and Jane. The vamps aren’t happy that one of their own killed Kevin and ate him all by themselves. Blood is short and they need to learn to share. Apparently these Hep V Vamps don’t sleep during the day much, or if they do they have a watch set for 15 minutes to keep waking them up? Not sure what the hell is going on with that but it is all rather pointless. They are all hungry, they are irritated because Bon Temps had vampires protecting them, oh and they don’t seem to get the bleeds. Actually no vamps seem to get the bleeds by staying up anymore. Jessica is up during the day (no bleeds even though as she hasn’t fed recently to the point where her own fang marks on her arm from feeding Adelyn aren’t healing?), We see Willa up in the day (although admittedly not for a prolonged period), anyway I digress. So yes Hep V Vamps are hungry and they have a system in which they give each other titles…. like Reaper. The reaper is the one that goes to fetch the prisoner and bring them up to feed the others (preferably without eating them all on the way). The reaper that went for Kevin failed and ate him all so a new reaper is appointed.
This reaper is apparently a teacher that used to teach Arlene and Holly’s kids. Now this is important because she recognizes Arlene and so chooses someone else to eat. Later they manage to talk to her and come up with a plan for them to escape. On a side note when the girls are discussing that they know her Nicole comments that she is a reaper? Ummmmmmm yes well they just made that up for this episode … guess they wanted to make the most of it. Seriously writers …. PLEASE sort it out!!! Continuity FAIL!
The teacher works out if she is the sleep monitor she can rescue Arlene and the others. So she gets her watch (set at 14 1/2 minutes) and she goes down to get them letting them know they have 12 minutes to escape. She says she will need to feed on one of them before she will be strong enough and Arlene volunteers. The Vamp says it has to be the femoral artery because if they are caught the bite marks need to be hidden. Arlene is unamused but agrees (I mean really what choice does she have?) and vamp goes in for a bite. First bite seems OK but then it all gets weird ……. suddenly the vamp stops feeding, looks up and the veins in her face are deteriorating fast and her eyes glaze and she dives back at Arlene’s leg and starts munching like her undead life depends on it … which I am guessing it did because suddenly she is vamp goo. Now was it just her Hep V finally getting her? We know Arlene isn’t infected so her blood wouldn’t be tainted and make her worse that quickly …… OR are we going to find out somehow that Arlene has something in her that kills the Hep V vamps? I mean they have said no new big bad villains this season but that doesn’t mean no new supes?? Hmmmmm will have to think some more on that. Either way they are all still trapped and now covered in goo and we will have to see what happens next week.
BOX 3 – The “Wanna Be Justice League” from last week and the rest of the town that are “sorting things out” including Lettie Mae, Lafayette (Briefly) and Adelyn. Let’s start with Lafayette. He gets a visit from Lettie Mae to “check on him” but really she just wants some V. Yup she’s an addict again just swapping booze for V. Lafayette won’t help her so she gets insulting and leaves. Anyone else wish she would just leave for good?
Back at Merlottes (Sorry Bellefleurs) everyone is cleaning up so they can all keep busy … until along comes the “Wanna Be Justice League” to cause problems and with all the “good people” off on a field trip they are able to convince all the people there (with a bit of help from a freezer full of dead bodies) that they need to take the law into their own hands. They talk about Sam being a dog and Mrs Fortenberry says she saw him turn from a bear once by her trash and then proceeds to call him a bear/dog from then on. I did like that someone asked her why she in fact voted for Sam to be Mayor if she had seen that to which she didn’t have an answer. Anyway they all decide they are going to protect themselves and start breaking up things for stakes until Adelyn “overhears ” Rosie realize that there are guns at the police station. Adelyn takes Wade and rushes over to warn Kenya and things seem to be going well until the rest of the town gets there and convinces Kenya that they SHOULD be doing something (generally with the use of you are a black woman always overlooked and this is your chance to do something). Adelyn gets scared and blasts them with her fairy light and it is all down hill from there.
Jessica wakes sensing Adelyn is in a whole lot of trouble but a glance at her watch lets her know it is the middle of the day and sunny too so she is trapped. She tries calling Sookie but Sookie’s phone is still in the woods from last week. UGH Sookie you are an idiot! So there is nothing that she can do is wait … and wait and wait ……poor Jessica 😦
At the station they all play with the guns and waste a ton of ammunition but the funniest thing for me was seeing Mrs Fortenberry getting all into shooting things (minus bullets). Anyone remember when she was all black eyed and playing the Wii at Bills? Ha yes that was what it reminded me of!
In another part of town Lettie Mae burns her wrist and runs it under cold water and then realizes there is a way for her to get more vampire blood and she burns the hell out of herself and then rushes over to wake Willa, who almost kills her being woken in the middle of the day, but instead catches herself and then heals Lettie Mae who goes off on a nice little V induced high. She sees Tara up on a cross, dressed in white, with a big yellow snake wrapped round her and she is saying something. All very strange and I am sure it means something but I have no idea what and I really can’t be bothered to try and figure that mess out.
Jessica is still stressing about Adelyn but now it is later in the day and she is trying to get ready to leave when Andy comes home. After realizing that Jessica did not in fact EAT Adelyn he listens and finds out that Jessica knows Adelyn is in trouble. Now here is my issue ….. she doesn’t know WHERE she is? The whole point of her drinking the blood last week AND the clip they even showed in the recaps THIS week said … I will ALWAYS know how to find you. So now she has to be out of the house …… HUH???? This makes no sense. More rules not working because it isn’t convenient for them to be working. Anybody have any other ideas. UGH This show is pissing me off this week.
With the three boxes done there are only 2 little bits to add on. Sookie and Alcide return from their road trip and Sookie sends Alcide for a shower so she can sneak out and run across the cemetery to Bills house so she can ask him if he could still find her if she was in trouble. Ooooohhhhh any excuse Sookie ………
BUT the final moments this week had everyone gasping (OK had me gasping). Pam finally gets to find Eric in France and contrary to speculation he was not burned up and recovering like Russell, instead things are much, MUCH worse. We get to see Eric looking tired and resting in a chair as he looks at Pam , who is crying, and says “You Found Me” ……. awwwww … and then we see ….. those tell tale black veins in the center of his chest ….. ERIC HAS HEP V …….. ROLL CREDITS …. NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU BRIAN BUCKNER!!!! Finally something interesting on the screen after AN HOUR of crap and CREDITS!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR But it begs the question are they actually going to kill him off for good? I mean all the threats of I won’t watch next season really hold no water any more ……. SO NOT GOOD!!!!
UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!! The previews for next week look a LOT more promising than this weeks episode was and so with certain mixed emotions I both want to watch and avoid these final 8 installments …. I know there will be tears ….. Who will make it to the end??? But honestly I’m not fooling anyone even myself ….. Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!
Main Cast Death Count This Episode
Main Cast Death Count This Series
Tara – – Hmmmmmm Looking more like it may have been for real. I’m shocked!
My Favorite Lines From “I Found You”
- Jason– “You’d play the whole Lone Rider – I’m an island”
- Arlene – “I did not survive 4 lousy husbands, my serial killer boyfriend and the sort of suicide of my love Terry to die in the basement of a vampire bar!”
- Jason – “Sometimes not being clever makes you a better detective” (Hands over a Starbucks Card instead of a License lol)
- Lafayette– “I’m not a big fan of Jesus’ work but that is some epic fucking timing”
- Pam – “Un Fucking Believable”
- Sookie – “If I got myself in some serious shit would you be able to feel me?”