True Blood Season 7 Ep 4 – “Death Is Not The End” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? I warn you …. this is a long one ….. Right then here we go!! Wow can you believe we are on the 4th episode already? That means we are almost halfway through.  Not liking that.  Neither did I really care for the beginning of this week’s episode, which was of course dealing with the big death last week.  We have Sookie calling Jackson to tell him his son is dead and then (far more moving) we have Jason calling Hoyt to tell him that Maxine has passed.  Poor Hoyt …. and poor Jason <3.  They did a really good job here what with Jason having grown up with Hoyt but Jessica’s glamour still working its vampire magic. Awwwwwww. Wonder what will happen when he comes back to Bon Temps.  I guess we will see ……… After the phone call Jason has decided he is done with everything but Sookie gives him the “Man Up” speech because Andy is gone (to look after Holly) and so he is all that is left.  Well who would have thought THAT would have been the case 6 seasons ago???  ***Opening Credits ….. I still love this song ………***

As with most episodes, by far the best thing in it were the moments with Eric and Pam and in particular the flashbacks.  I am loving getting more of their history together, especially when it involves 80’s and 90’s flashbacks.  Oh the memories …. but I digress ….. We start on a plane with Eric and Pam heading to Baton Rouge because Pam has decided that is where Sarah is likely to have reached out.  Eric is not amused by this and stops feeding on the lovely Air Hostess to demand they go to Shreveport to get Willa.   Eric and Pam are so great with the way they play off each other but Eric lets it slip that he is dying which Victoria (pretty Air Hostess) is unamused about as she is now going to lose her job.  I know it’s wrong but I LOVE that neither Eric nor Pam care one bit!! YES!!! This is the Eric and Pam we want to see.  The looks they share, their chemistry is just awesome…..  I love them!  

We now get the first of several flashbacks but as they are all related and are BY FAR the best bit of this entire episode I am going to put them all together …. because honestly? I want to lol.

Remember last week Pam and Eric got taken by the Yokomoto corporation after they dispensed with Sylvie back in 1986?  Well this flashback picks up right after that with Pam and Eric being “released” in Shreveport in a parking lot that will look very familiar to all the fans.  Yes this is where they get Fangtasia. But wait …… it is not the Fangtasia we know and love …. it is …. a VIDEO RENTAL STORE lmao!!! Complete with extra porn section in the basement!!!   Oh Pam is so disgusted by the whole thing it is hilarious!! We get to meet The Magister (remember him) and we learn that he made Eric Sheriff (Something Eric actually looks rather pleased about) because he wants to be able to keep an eye on him.  They learn that this punishment (running the store) is basically a forever thing at this point and when The Magsiter tosses Pam the keys she ignores them as they smack her in the chest and fall to the floor.  Oh it was so well done!! Bravo!!!  Now pay attention here …. The Magister throws out that there is an abandoned, walled up tunnel behind the basement …… FULL OF HISTORY he says ….. but that will be VERY important later.   ****OK mini side rant here ….. do we have different writers doing the flashback things?  They are so awesome with the details and the remembering things, and adding in little “extras” …. where is that in the MAIN show??? Hmmmmmm??? Continuity has just LEFT THE BUILDING with pretty much everything else…….. UGH OK I’m done for the moment … back to the flashbacks …..****

We jump to 1996 and poor Pam is STILL stuck working in that horrid little video store which is now upgrading to DVDs.   In walks a nerdy looking brunette with a list of obscure vampire movies she wants to watch.  Pam is actually impressed and the selections and half listens as the girl goes on and on about the course she is taking about monsters being misunderstood.   Suddenly out walks Eric …. in full 90’s boy band style ….with the background music of “I would die for you” …..  LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!!! And then I realize …. IT’S GINGER!!!! HA!!!! Without the blonde hair and minus the screaming I didn’t see it at first….. and well she just about dies …. right there on the spot.  Jaw on the floor …. ummmmm yes that might have been my reaction too …. WOW …. ummmmm where was I ……. oh yes so Ginger meets Eric and decides she wants to work there … and well the rest is history ….. actually we get a little more history …. and I LOVE it!!

Fast forward to 2006 and the vamps are coming out of the coffin and we see Ginger (looking much more like the Ginger we all know) getting out of a hearse, with a big chair, and heading into the video shop where they are still working.   Pam is waiting for her and is unamused by the chair until Ginger lays out the whole plan for Fangtasia, right down to Eric sitting up on the throne we all know and love.  Pam loves the idea …. and totally steals is – glamouring Ginger into thinking it was Pam’s idea in the first place.  Awesome!!!!!   Flash forward to Eric and Pam back on the plane and Eric is smiling and lovingly calls Pam a Bitch ….. but she says “but you still love me” ….. and he looks at her and just says “always”.  Awwwwwwww ❤ such a look. Just perfect!!!  I’m telling you I would watch a whole series just about these too!!!! FANGTASTIC!!!! 

Right then back to the rest of what is going on …….. Sookie, Jason, and Sam head over to see Andy and Holly and find Coby and Lisa who Sookie decides to go talk to.  Lisa is moaning that everyone is treating them like they are stupid but they know things are wrong.  After a heart to heart with the (now not so little) kids Sookie promises that she will bring their Mom back.  UGH Stupid Sookie!!! You know better than to make promises like that! Especially with the kill count this season.   Anyway Sookie knows that Holly knows what happened and that it was just glamoured away so Sookie heads in to fix that. Remember her little trick with the Black Eyes back in Season 2? Yup she can MAKE you remember and she does just that with Holly.  Oh it isn’t pretty and leaves Holly a snivelling mess for poor Andy to deal with but they don’t have time for that!! Sookie does leave him with a piece of advice ….”We like to be held”…. well OK then!!!  So they know where the survivors are and they have a plan! Well Sookie has a plan …. she is going to Bills …. in the middle of the day ….. Jason and Sam …. they have to go tell Rosie that Kevin is dead.

Staying with Jason and Sam for a moment, Sam has a little melt down and thinks he is going to go to Fangtasia now and rescue Nicole (STUPID SAM!!!!!) but Jason manages to stop him (by threatening to shoot him in the head) and they eventually get to Rosie’s and she is not happy to see them and even less happy with the news.  She makes them promise that they will avenge Kevin which, of course, they promise to do.

Over at Bill’s house Jessica and James are fighting over the fact that Jessica isn’t healing because she isn’t eating.  Apparently it has been months.  Hmmmmm they do like to change how long these vamps can go without feeding.  James goes to get Bill and Bill tries to convince her but is not doing a very good job.  Sookie turns up in the middle of it all and decides that Jessica can feed off of her.  Jessica isn’t amused because as she points out Sookie is a fairy but Sookie says she trusts her.   Sookie gets Bill and James to leave and then lays one of the best guilt trips on Jessica that I have heard in ages.  Basically Sookie doesn’t care what is going on with Jessica and her life but she needs help and Sookie has been good to Jessica so Jessica needs to suck it up and help her!   Amazingly THIS WORKS but she won’t feed off Sookie and so they send for James’s human … the wonderful Lafayette!!!! 

This leads to a wonderful scene! Nelson Ellis is OUTSTANDING this week with just the right amount of sass, sympathy, and use of the word “Hookah” to convince Jessica that he is a bad person too.  He misses Jesus and it is OK not to be perfect and not to forgive yourself but you have to keep going.   Add to that the looks that James and Lala share and yes I will admit it. My heart melted.  Awwwww <3.  Sorry Jessica I am routing for them to hook up….. the sooner the better. 

Sookie is plotting with Bill but he points out that generally the vampires around are not really going to be invested in going to a fight at Fangtasia with the H Vamps.  They have everything to lose and nothing to gain.  When asked why he is going he explains it is because he owes Sookie everything.  You know Bill …… when you act like season 1 Bill you aren’t so bad after all.  So Sookie decides Bill needs to eat ……because he needs to be at his strongest to fight ……. but  you know personally I think Sookie just wanted a good bite.  Obviously missing it having been with a wolf for 6 months.  Guessing a wolf bite wouldn’t be so appealing lol

So night has fallen and the troops have gathered to plan their attack.  Hmmmm troops might be a tad optimistic sounding as we have Sookie, Bill, Jason, Sam, Jessica, James, Violet, and 2 of James’s band mates (also vamps) Michael and Keith. Jason tries to give a rousing speech but compares it to Normandy and obviously doesn’t get much response as Normandy left beaches stained with allied blood ….. but fear not!! Eric and Pam have arrived.  Obviously looking for Willa (well on the pretense of looking for Willa) and Pam bitches that Sookie is there.  Glad to see that they are at least consistent with that but Eric does listen and “calls” Willa.  Eric, however, obviously still loves Sookie and takes a moment alone with her to discover what trouble she has gotten herself into this time.  He is appropriately disgusted about her “wolf” relationship but drops it when he sees she is hurting.  The time between them is touching and you can see how much Eric still cares and it would seem Sookie does too.  Perhaps the triangle is about to come back.  I was sure the writers were heading towards Sookie and Bill ….. but who knows.  Hmmmmmm need to ponder that. Also need to ponder the lack of Eric or Pam making any kind of negative comment to Jason about Sarah being alive.   Pam may secretly be grateful at this point as it is fueling Eric’s will to live …. but Eric … he looked pissed last week.  I can’t believe there wouldn’t even be a passing jibe??? Ugh!  Damn Writers!

Willa arrives and is not a happy babyvamp.   She wants to talk about her abandonment NOW!!! But Eric has other plans and uses the old fail safe “as you maker I command you” trick and later it is 😀

So off to battle they go …. the crew above with the additions of Eric, Pam, and Willa but Eric actually has a plan.  Remember that bricked up tunnel?  Well they are going to bust in and rescue the prisoners that way!!  Awesome!!! Except when they get there Eric has pretty much lost all his strength and after a pitiful few attempts Bill smashes down the wall in one punch …. ummmmm NO!!!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! UGH!!! That is SO WRONG!!! On SOOOOOOO many levels wrong!!!! So let me ask you this? If H Vamps are so weak even in the early stages (he is level 1) and HE has just FED well and recently …… why the hell are the other vamps any problem at all?? You have a shifter and a bunch of healthy vamps?  What the hell writers???? Make your mind up!!!! STUPID!!!!!

Anyway Sam goes in first (as a rat) and transforms and freaks Arlene and Jane (which is mildly amusing …. although I would have had Arlene making a comment about Sam being naked ….. but maybe that is me being a perv) ……. so prisoners found Sam lets them know that vamps are coming in to rescue them and they need to TRUST them.  The 3 prisoners are not too amused but seriously at this point what choice do they have? Well as Sam scurries back off as a rat it would seem that they might be too late for one of them because here comes an H Vamp and he is hungry!!  Back at the tunnel entrance it is decided that Pam and Bill will go rescue the humans (because Eric is so week) but by the time they get there Arlene is already upstairs about to be eaten.   The other 2 saved Bill decides to go after Arlene but Pam gives him a couple of words of advice …… not to try too hard to be a hero .. because she says it is never going to happen with Sookie the way he wants … not tonight …. not ever.  Hmmmmmm foreshadowing?  Certainly interesting to say the least. 

But Bill is not the only one with a plan.  Eric has decided to go through the front door, claiming he needs asylum and he brings his own human (no prizes for guessing who that is …..) Now apparently despite their apparent apathy previously, these H Vamps do have a thing for fairy blood after all ….. not that they know what it is but it is Sookie smelling so good that tempts them to let him in.   Arlene is close to death on the table and Eric is trying to buy time with the crazy H Vamps who amazingly enough all seem together enough to hold it together for this little chit chat.  Come on cavalry where are you??

Oh wait …. unexpected help? Problems? Ummmm a bit of both really as the remainder of the “Wanna be Justice League Crew” (Wanna be Mayor, Kenya, Rosie, annoying mouthy girl, and another guy along with a few others ) pull in to the parking lot armed with a Molotov cocktail. FIRE!!!! Just as our hero team is coming up the back way.  Well all hell erupts.  As the vamps go flying out the front door a bunch are picked off by the “Wanna Be League” all armed with guns and wooden bullets until a few break through to kill most of the humans off (yup none of you will be missed).   This gives the other vamps time to get out the back way and we get to see a matrix style, all hell break loose battle between the vamps and it seems that all the H Vamps get killed off and our team escapes unscathed.

That being said Sookie is trapped inside a burning Fangtasia with a dying Arlene and Eric unable to help as his infected blood (I’m assuming) is no good for healing.  She tells him to get a “Healthy” vamp.  Now why he doesn’t just “Call” Willa is anybody’s guess …… but he doesn’t …. instead he’s about to leave when Bill appears and stakes a rogue H Vamp by ripping off one of the handles from behind the bar (Season 1 Longshadow anyone????).  Pam comes in with a fire extinguisher and deals with the fire issue and gets a wonderful look from Eric (I am telling you this week was just full of them) and then she hears them outside about to throw in another flaming bottle and rushes out, snatches the bottle and sets the guy on fire.  Awesome!! 

Bill is about to give Arlene his blood when he feels Jessica in trouble so leaves to help her and Eric comes to the rescue bringing Keith.  Now Arlene is seeing Terry and hearing Terry (although for a moment Terry is the evil H Vamp but Jason shoots that one … well done Jason)  and for a moment I really thought that Arlene was about to be the next victim of this season’s slaughter run as we get to see Terry too but he tells Arlene to stay and she starts to come round.  Now she shares a little look with Keith the vampire.  Hmmmmmmm is that going to be something I wonder.  Lots to think on this episode.

We end with it being confirmed that all the H Vamps are in fact goo.  And judging by the number of bodies it looks like all the “Wanna be Justice League” are dead too with the main cast notables being Kenya and Rosie.  Pam is shouting for Eric and for a moment you wonder if perhaps he is one of the goo piles and we missed it ….. but fear not.  Eric is in a car eating Rosie.   Well Rosie there were worse ways you could have died.  Eric returns to the bar and shares a beautiful look with Sookie ….. and the credits roll …… 

And now we wait until next week!!!  Only 6 installments left…. but already things seem to be wrapping up faster than I would have expected so I am hoping they will focus on the hunt for Sarah and hopefully a cure for Eric?!  Who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Kenya
Rosie

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

Eric 90s

My Favorite Lines From “Death Is Not The End”

  • Jackson – ”He loved the fuck out of you Sookie”
  • Pam – “I’m sorry …. did we fuck and I blocked it out”
  • Eric- “Welcome to our shithole”
  • Bill – “I Owe You Everything”
  • Lafayette – “Step aside Hookah ….. give a real hookah a shot”
  • Pam – “Ginger – look at yourself and look at me …. who has better taste?”
  • Ginger – “Eric Northman is nothing if he isn’t fucking  sex on a throne” 
  • Eric – “Pam tells me you wrote a book where you claim no longer to be an asshole …. is it true?”
  • Pam – “She’s like a fucking fungus that just won’t go away”
  • Eric – “You will not drink her blood …. you will sip it … like a nice glass of barbaresco”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 2 – “I Found You” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right then here we go!!  At the end of last week we had … well not a whole lot really. Sookie was preaching in the church and there was no cliffhanger to speak of.

This week opens NOT in Bon Temps at all but rather somewhere exotic with ERIC standing by a window and Jason coming to find him … wait Jason???? Ummmmmm OK Brian Buckner I see where this is going and sure enough insert Eric / Jason sexy type dream sequence.   Not bad …. I never realized how short Jason was ….. and it was enough man on man action that my husband was groaning lol but over all other than putting Eric back on the screen it seemed kinda pointless. Kudos to them though ….. it was believable.  Great chemistry 😀  The look Eric gave when he grabbed Jason by the throat and threw him to the chair?? Ummmmmm yes please!!!!  Jason is crazy as ever and you never know what what is going to come out of his mouth so that was kinda fun and Eric can just stand there and look pretty …. that works.  I’m going to be sad if they kill Jason off… poor Jason .. he was on my watch list last season as one of the most likely to die …. would hate to see him survive that only to die this season :(.   That being said ….. with this happening BEFORE the credits it certainly woke me up …… but that was a highlight … it is pretty much ALL down hill from here (Except a brief minute at the end but you will have to wait for that). …. Oh and Jason waking from his dream in the Church … hilarious!!

So Eric is not dead …. shocker …. yes well we all knew he would be appearing and his name is back in the credits so that was all obviously just to try and mess with bloggers like me.  Rutina Wesley is now absent from said credits (despite making a brief appearance this week)  so I guess well played? If this is the best “Game” you have for us bloggers Brian Buckner you get a C- Must Try Harder.  You know if they show wasn’t falling apart in front of our eyes we would have more SHOW stuff to focus on.

Right then on with the rest of the episode that can pretty much be set into 3 little boxes, none of which I would personally bother to open!  This whole episode is basically set during the day which means we get little to know vamp interaction and the stuff we do is from Hep V vamps we know little about and care about the same amount!  We start with most of the town together and Sookie realizing that no one knows what to do but she has a plan because she found a body in the woods.  Yup at this point nobody even asks why this is the first time this is coming up *sigh* ……. Anyway this leads to the decision that the box 1 action will consist of Sookie, Jason, Alcide, Sam, and Andy all leaving to investigate the body.  Box 2 action will consist of the adventures over at Fangtasia with the Hep V Vamps and their well known prisoners, and Box 3 will be the “Wanna Be Justice League” from last week and the rest of the town that are “sorting things out” including Lettie Mae, Lafayette (Briefly) and Adelyn.

BOX 1 – Sookie, Jason, Alcide, Sam, and Andy  and their out of town adventure.  They start by going back to the body Sookie found and getting an address off her license.  Jason and Andy so a bit of very unconvincing police work and then after trying to call the mayor and sheriff of the other town (Yes they know their numbers … not they aren’t saved because they dial them in …. *rolls eyes at the stupidity*) And off they go on their road trip to Saint Alise.  When they arrive they find is a totally deserted place with everything boarded up, spray painted messages everywhere with things like FEMA HELP and SOS and NO signs of anything living (or Unliving).

They find a mass grave filled with the remains on the town, at least those that they assume weren’t taken for snacks on the go….. as Sookie puts it they were either “killed or tooken”.    They manage to find the dead woman’s house and Jason is able to use “Pizza Forensics” to establish that they have been gone about 2 1/2 days.  For those not familiar with this tactic it involves eating left of pizza found on a table.  Must have been good because as the investigation continues he continues eating.

Sookie finds the bedroom and a diary and we get to hear her read the diary entries (Which are from 2010 and 2011 although happening just a couple of days ago so I guess that is where we are in the True Blood universe date wise).   We learn that the dead girl  had a fling with a vamp just like Sookie right down to the trip to Fangtasia, and they thought it was love.  Some great flashbacks to S1 ….. remember S1 …. when this show was awesome beyond belief and we thought nothing would ever match it *sigh* ….. anyway we learn that as we thought the vamps came, destroyed everyone and everything, and didn’t even spare a baby.  I think this was supposed to be dramatic and hard hitting but I’m afraid by this point in this week’s episode all I could think was hmmmmm so it it is 2011.  You know that this all making Sookie think about Bill ……. Ooooh Alcide I knew a wolf just wasn’t going to hack it Mwahahahahahahaha.  So after all that they go back to Bon Temps (after Alcide having a moment in the car where he says they could just keep driving…… UGH Alcide you REALLY suck! And not in the fun vampy way!)

 

BOX 2 – The Hep V Vamps holed up at Fangtasia with Holly, Arlene, Nicole and Jane.  The vamps aren’t happy that one of their own killed Kevin and ate him all by themselves.  Blood is short and they need to learn to share.   Apparently these Hep V Vamps don’t sleep during the day much, or if they do they have a watch set for 15 minutes to keep waking them up? Not sure what the hell is going on with that but it is all rather pointless.  They are all hungry, they are irritated because Bon Temps had vampires protecting them, oh and they don’t seem to get the bleeds.  Actually no vamps seem to get the bleeds by staying up anymore.  Jessica is up during the day (no bleeds even though as she hasn’t fed recently to the point where her own fang marks on her arm from feeding Adelyn aren’t healing?), We see Willa up in the day (although admittedly not for a prolonged period), anyway I digress.  So yes Hep V Vamps are hungry and they have a system in which they give each other titles…. like Reaper.  The reaper is the one that goes to fetch the prisoner and bring them up to feed the others (preferably without eating them all on the way).  The reaper that went for Kevin failed and ate him all so a new reaper is appointed.

This reaper is apparently a teacher that used to teach Arlene and Holly’s kids.  Now this is important because she recognizes Arlene and so chooses someone else to eat.  Later they manage to talk to her and come up with a plan for them to escape. On a side note when the girls are discussing that they know her Nicole comments that she is a reaper?  Ummmmmmm yes well they just made that up for this episode … guess they wanted to make the most of it.  Seriously writers …. PLEASE sort it out!!! Continuity FAIL!

The teacher works out if she is the sleep monitor she can rescue Arlene and the others. So she gets her watch (set at 14 1/2 minutes) and she goes down to get them letting them know they have 12 minutes to escape.  She says she will need to feed on one of them before she will be strong enough and Arlene volunteers.   The Vamp says it has to be the femoral artery because if they are caught the bite marks need to be hidden.  Arlene is unamused but agrees (I mean really what choice does she have?) and vamp goes in for a bite.  First bite seems OK but then it all gets weird ……. suddenly the vamp stops feeding, looks up and the veins in her face are deteriorating fast and her eyes glaze and she dives back at Arlene’s leg and starts munching like her undead life depends on it … which I am guessing it did because suddenly she is vamp goo.  Now was it just her Hep V finally getting her? We know Arlene isn’t infected so her blood wouldn’t be tainted and make her worse that quickly …… OR are we going to find out somehow that Arlene has something in her that kills the Hep V vamps? I mean they have said no new big bad villains this season but that doesn’t mean no new supes?? Hmmmmm will have to think some more on that.  Either way they are all still trapped and now covered in goo and we will have to see what happens next week. 


BOX 3 – The “Wanna Be Justice League” from last week and the rest of the town that are “sorting things out” including Lettie Mae, Lafayette (Briefly) and Adelyn.  Let’s start with Lafayette.  He gets a visit from Lettie Mae to “check on him” but really she just wants some V.  Yup she’s an addict again just swapping booze for V.  Lafayette won’t help her so she gets insulting and leaves.  Anyone else wish she would just leave for good?

Back at Merlottes (Sorry Bellefleurs) everyone is cleaning up so they can all keep busy … until along comes the   “Wanna Be Justice League” to cause problems and with all the “good people” off on a field trip they are able to convince all the people there (with a bit of help from a freezer full of dead bodies) that they need to take the law into their own hands.  They talk about Sam being a dog and Mrs Fortenberry says she saw him turn from a bear once by her trash and then proceeds to call him a bear/dog from then on.  I did like that someone asked her why she in fact voted for Sam to be Mayor if she had seen that to which she didn’t have an answer.   Anyway they all decide they are going to protect themselves and start breaking up things for stakes until Adelyn “overhears ” Rosie realize that there are guns at the police station. Adelyn takes Wade and rushes over to warn Kenya and things seem to be going well until the rest of the town gets there and convinces Kenya that they SHOULD be doing something (generally with the use of you are a black woman always overlooked and this is your chance to do something).  Adelyn gets scared and blasts them with her fairy light and it is all down hill from there.

Jessica wakes sensing Adelyn is in a whole lot of trouble but a glance at her watch lets her know it is the middle of the day and sunny too so she is trapped.  She tries calling Sookie but Sookie’s phone is still in the woods from last week.  UGH Sookie you are an idiot!  So there is nothing that she can do is wait … and wait and wait ……poor Jessica 😦

At the station they all play with the guns and waste a ton of ammunition but the funniest thing for me was seeing Mrs Fortenberry getting all into shooting things (minus bullets).  Anyone remember when she was all black eyed and playing the Wii at Bills?  Ha yes that was what it reminded me of!

In another part of town Lettie Mae burns her wrist and runs it under cold water and then realizes there is a way for her to get more vampire blood and she burns the hell out of herself and then rushes over to wake Willa, who almost kills her being woken in the middle of the day, but instead catches herself and then heals Lettie Mae who goes off on a nice little V induced high.  She sees Tara up on a cross, dressed in white, with a big yellow snake wrapped round her and she is saying something.  All very strange and I am sure it means something but I have no idea what and I really can’t be bothered to try and figure that mess out.

Jessica is still stressing about Adelyn but now it is later in the day and she is trying to get ready to leave when Andy comes home.  After realizing that Jessica did not in fact EAT Adelyn he listens and finds out that Jessica knows Adelyn is in trouble.  Now here is my issue ….. she doesn’t know WHERE she is?  The whole point of her drinking the blood last week AND the clip they even showed in the recaps THIS week said … I will ALWAYS know how to find you.  So now she has to be out of the house …… HUH???? This makes no sense.  More rules not working because it isn’t convenient for them to be working.  Anybody have any other ideas.  UGH This show is pissing me off this week.

With the three boxes done there are only 2 little bits to add on.  Sookie and Alcide return from their road trip and Sookie sends Alcide for a shower so she can sneak out and run across the cemetery to Bills house so she can ask him if he could still find her if she was in trouble.  Ooooohhhhh any excuse Sookie ………

BUT the final moments this week had everyone gasping (OK had me gasping).  Pam finally gets to find Eric in France and contrary to speculation he was not burned up and recovering like Russell, instead things are much, MUCH worse.  We get to see Eric looking tired and resting in a chair as he looks at Pam , who is crying, and says “You Found Me” ……. awwwww … and then we see ….. those tell tale black veins in the center of his chest ….. ERIC HAS HEP V …….. ROLL CREDITS …. NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU BRIAN BUCKNER!!!! Finally something interesting on the screen after AN HOUR of crap and CREDITS!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  But it begs the question are they actually going to kill him off for good? I mean all the threats of I won’t watch next season really hold no water any more ……. SO NOT GOOD!!!!

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  The previews for next week look a LOT more promising than this weeks episode was and so with certain mixed emotions I both want to watch and avoid these final 8 installments …. I know there will be tears ….. Who will make it to the end???  But  honestly I’m not fooling anyone even myself ….. Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode
None  


Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – Hmmmmmm Looking more like it may have been for real.  I’m shocked!
Kevin 

EricMartini

 

My Favorite Lines From “I Found You”

  • Jason– “You’d play the whole Lone Rider – I’m an island”
  • Arlene – “I did not survive 4 lousy husbands, my serial killer boyfriend and the sort of suicide of my love Terry  to die in the basement of a vampire bar!”
  • Jason – “Sometimes not being clever makes you a better detective” (Hands over a Starbucks Card instead of a License lol)
  • Lafayette– “I’m not a big fan of Jesus’ work but that is some epic fucking timing”
  • Pam – “Un Fucking Believable”
  • Sookie – “If I got myself in some serious shit would you be able to feel me?”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 3 – “You’re No Good” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

This week starts with Eric having glamoured his way inside Willa Burrell’s bedroom (having escaped from the guards that is obviously the first place to go) and he is in full awesome Eric mode, dry humor, dash of fear, few little threats.  Loving this Eric!! Welcome back! I have missed you.  No more moping after Sookie .. YAY.  OK got a bit distracted there for a minute ….. So Eric is talking with the glamoured governor’s daughter and asking how devastated certain acts would leave her father.  As Eric is about to kill her Willa manages to break through the glamour enough to tell him that killing her won’t stop her father but she has information that could help him.  Hmmm self preservation is strong with this one!!  We see the SWAT team of idiots storm up the stairs to the rescue only to find Eric has escaped back out the window … taking Willa with him 😀

Back at Billith central, Bill is musing his visions and how he saw all the vampires burning in a room including Jessica, Pam, Eric and Tara and he is determined to stop this! And apparently his plans include the fact that he now believes he is immortal and can walk in the sun.  Oh really Bill?  Yes because Dreams are just like reality.  Jessica has a total freak out at this new go out and meet the sun attitude although I am not quite sure why.  We have seen vampires get caught in the sun before and it isn’t as if they just go “poof” so even worst case scenario he would have time to get in the house *rolls eyes*.   We get Bill standing out there having his “revelation” as the sun rises, the dramatic music plays …. and BILL BURSTS INTO FLAMES!!! Oh I laughed so hard.  He gets into the house and is lying there saying he doesn’t understand …… idiot ….. you are still a vampire!! And vampires can’t be in the sun.  Not complicated!!

Across the cemetery in Sookie’s house she is busy playing with her new light toy and Jason is slowly falling apart.  He has headaches that seem to be getting worse and more debilitating but lucky for him (or not so lucky) he finds a bottle of Lafayette’s meds (who only knows what is in there) and takes them.  Niall is running around doing some flashy light moving thing and zapping people from place to place and uses it to zap Sookie and Jason inside when Warlow (at least we assume it was Warlow) is outside trying to get his hands on Sookie.  Can anyone else watch Rutger Hauer and not see the comedic appearance in the Buffy movie?  It is not quite working for me at the moment but we will see.  He gives Sookie a nice lecture about not being scared enough and I have to agree with Sookie that she has been in danger for so long it probably would be a case of AGAIN?? Rather than all out panic mode. Niall unimpressed goes off alone on a Warlow hunt.  Have fun with that.

Eric takes Willa back to Fangtasia much to Pam and Tara’s disgust.  Pam wants to kill her, Tara wants to glamour her and send her back … and Eric …… Well Eric just wants to keep her because as he points out she is the only leverage he has because the Governor now owns everything else and so duct tape on mouth she goes with them. But fear not ….. Eric has a plan ……

And that plan is … GINGER!!!! Eric heads over and talks his way in (which wasn’t hard … poor Ginger finally thought she was going to get lucky) until she see’s Willa, and Pam .. and then Tara.  Great scene!!! It is decided that Eric and Willa will sleep in the coffin (that apparently Ginger keeps at her place … it is a nice big one too) and Tara and Pam will sleep in the not so nice little Cubby that Ginger has.  Oh they are unamused but as Eric points out he doesn’t trust Pam not to kill Willa lol.  Hmmmm probably a smart move there.

We get to see the “containment” facility where the vampires are being experimented on and learn that they have captured Steve Newlin. Awwww poor Steve does not look like he is doing so well.  Even better we get to see that his ex wife Sarah is back and she is one of the main people running this facility.  As she says it is everything they dreamed about when they were running the fellowship of the Sun … only MORE so.  Oh She was great this week. I am really looking forward to seeing what they do with her character.

Sam and Lafayette were in a bad way last week having taken a big bashing from the wolves as they took Emma and ran off with her but lucky for them the crazy humans from the whole new society that wants to unite all the supes.  Yep they are insane and the boyfriend “Jessie” is a total whack job.  He sounds like a 15 year old teenage boy with his million questions combined with an I act like I know everything attitude.  Lafayette and Sam throw them out and Lala manages to convince Sam that whilst he might not need the others help he is there for him.  I LOVE Lala and he has attitude in SPADES this season!!! Great to have him back!!!

Daytime hits and Niall has found the fairy safe haven / club .. which is sadly not so safe anymore as Warlow has been there and slaughtered everyone in there.  There are just splashes of fairy blood everywhere that Niall is “reading?” to find out what happens and one survivor who holds on long enough to tell Niall it was indeed a vampire before Niall shows him the “True Kindness” and sends him off to fairy dust.  Interesting that there is no sign of Ben in the club …… seems a little odd to me as that was where he was heading.  Even more odd to me that he just happens to “appear” right outside as Niall is leaving.  He recognizes Niall as Fairy Royalty and agrees to help protect Sookie.  I don’t know …. I have read many spoilers about Ben being Sookie’s new love interest etc but this just feels really weird to me.  Possibly another example of me reading way to much into stuff but really? It took him over a day to walk down a road to a field and not be able to find the club?  Not convinced!.

Jason is still not right and is in bed being looked after by Sookie.  They have a nice little chat but there is definitely something else going on with Jason … and I am going to say that this is not good.  Those rumors of losing a main cast character ….. I would be looking very closely at the Stackhouse brother right now.

Holly has gone to see Andy for help about the vampire problem at her motel and she gets to see that his fairy babies are now preteens.  Even funnier is that he hasn’t given them names yet.  He just calls them 1,2,3 and 4.  Brilliant! and so Andy!   He takes Holly off to teach her how to shoot at Camp Bellefleur and we get to see the girls have the typical fairy light powers …. or as Andy calls them Lazer hands!! This is definitely a cute side story but becomes more relevent when we see Andy meet up with Bill a bit later one.

The police have caught up with Alcide and the pack about the kidnapped Emma but the not so nice Ricky forces Emma to shift while Alcide and Martha are outside distracting them.  Definitely not a nice wolf.  Alcide is still power hungry and annoying but Ricky is even worse.  Yawn pack politics are sooooooooo dull!!! Oh and Alcide seems to have no control over what his pack is doing whatsoever.  They just all shift and go do what they want apparently.  Not to worry though because Sam has a plan and he comes to get Emma and get her he does. Sadly the whole Supe Group that have come to make peace with the wolves although work as a great distraction do not have any idea what they have gotten themselves into and get a nice beat down.  Hmmmmm nope I don’t feel sorry for them at all apart from the fact that Sam sees the girl leader in trouble and decides to try and help her even though his priority should be getting Emma out of there.  Sam is just too nice for his own good if you ask me!!! As Lafayette says …. that girl is going to cause Sam trouble!  Even Emma knows it is a bad idea!

Eric is trying to sleep but Willa is in a chatty mood.  Turns out that her mom had an affair with a vampire which is what sparked the whole Governor Burrell vampire hate scheme.  Willa lets it know that she wouldn’t be too upset if things took that kinda turn with the vampire in the coffin with her.  She notices he has the bleeds and touches the blood and lick it off her fingers but Eric is having none of that.  He does however, seductively suck it off of hers.  And then tells her to put the tape back on and go to sleep.  Hmmmmm yes I don’t think that would be happening either lol.

Night falls …. Bill is off to run errands and although he initially wants to leave jess home he instead tells her to get dressed in some nicely inappropriate clothes and go get a professor from a local university who may hold the key to making synthetic blood.  And dress up she does.  She looks great!! And completely distracts the professor from his entire lecture.  What a perv! After all the class leaves she arranges fro some “private” lessons which basically means … she kidnaps him 😀  Brilliant.  Love seeing Jessica like this.  She was finally becoming fun before all this Billith stuff and lately has gone back to being a bit annoying but she totally redeemed herself tonight!

Bill’s errand seems to be all about Sookie but he is not there to help. Turns out he no longer needs an invite to get in and his big plan is to use Sookie to be his “blood pattern” so that they can all drink lots of fairy blood.  Sadly for him Sookie is not on board with this plan and we get to see what as asshole Billith really is.  Not that I am surprised.  I have been saying it for weeks.  In the end Bill leaves, after all his threats about you will come with me willingly or not, without Sookie, but with the ominous warning that she is dead to him.  Good!!  Go away and stay gone! Ugh he is such a loser!!!    Poor Jason however has taken another beating and is really not looking too good. I am telling you …. Jason is high on my “worry” list.

Governor Burrell has finally worked out how to call Eric Northman and Ginger is stupid enough to pick up his phone.  Eric gives Willa to Tara to retape her mouth shut but Tara is not very happy about that.  Eric and the Governor have a nice little chat and I LOVE seeing Eric like this.  He is fully viking in control and letting the humans know how it is and that he is not amused with the Governors plans.  In the meantime although Eric says his phone isn’t traceable apparently they found a way.  Ginger is used as a distraction while Eric and Pam go off to find Tara who has absconded with Willa.  Oh she is so stupid!! Seriously stupid!! Can she not just do as she is told just once??

The episode ends with Bill heading home but bumping into Sheriff Andy on his way and he sees the toys in the front seat of his cruiser.  You KNOW that he can smell the fairy in there and suddenly it looks like Bill may have found a new source for creating his synthetic fairy blood.  This could be good ……. or bad ……. well interesting anyway lol

And now we wait!!! This season is definitely working for me so far .. I am excited for next weeks episode ….. and am LOVING that the vamps are getting to be vamps and a war with humans …. yep I am game for that!

V””V

S6 Ep3

My Favorite Lines From  “ You’re No Good”
■Eric – It’s Just A Bar Pam”  (Yep no one believes that Eric)
■Pam – “Cut Off Her Head and rest it on her stomach and when the Governor storms in here again he’ll have that lovely image burned in his memory forever”
■Lafayette – “Before you turn into a snake or a bear or something else I can’t have a conversation with what is the plan in that pretty little head of yours”.
■Eric -“Sadly Ginger no we will not be fucking on this occasion however the night will come when we do”

■Eric -“The girl will sleep with me because I don’t trust you not to KILL her!”

■Sookie -“This is all happening because you drank the fucking Lilith Blood!”

■Eric -“It’s OK Ginger I understand …. You’re stupid

True Blood Season 6 Ep 2 – “The Sun” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to.  My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

After last week’s episode I was back riding high on the whole True Blood saga with high hopes for this season but last night’s episode 2 just didn’t work for me.  Don’t get me wrong I am not ready to write this season off yet but honestly I think they had a WHOLE lot of information that they know we are going to need later in the season and just piled it all into this episode with not a lot of anything actually happening. 

 So where shall we start ….

Well how about with the whole “Warlow” mystery as that is where this week’s episode starts off.  We see Warlow coming through a ?rip in the fabric of dimensions on the bridge where the Stackhouse parents were killed and Sookie having some weird dreams.  Contrary to my thoughts last week Rutger Hauer’s character is not going to be a double casting and he reveals to Jason that he is in fact Niall the Fairy Great Grandfather and that he wants to stop Warlow.  He shows that he has the same “light” powers (x about 100) that Sookie has and we get to see him give Sookie a lesson that will allow her to “enhance” her power for one big KILL SHOT that will finish Warlow but then will get rid of all her Fae powers forever.  There is a fair amount of Niall / Jason stuff this week that is mildly amusing but really it was just an excuse to get across information that we are going to need later on.  Over all YAWN!

Over at Fangtasia Tara is not doing well having been shot with what appeared to be a Tazer last week when the bar was raided and Tara couldn’t keep her big mouth shut.  Eric and Nora arrive and Eric manages to discover that she was in fact shot with a silver bullet which then continually releases UV into the vamp. Hmmm not a pleasant way to go.  Guess the General wasn’t kidding last year when he said he was developing new weapons.  No one is happy in that camp, Pam and Nora just keep bickering  and Eric after agreeing that war with humans is just the way it is going to be sends Nora off to go back through the book of Lilith to try and find ANYTHING that could help destroy Bill despite her many complaints that there is nothing there.

We do get to see Nora discover a prophecy about the people leading the god into the sun.  She has little heart to heart with Pam basically telling her that Eric did everything for Pam’s own good and that he does love her.  Yes well we all knew that anyway.  She then takes off saying she will be back.  In the meantime Pam’s human (we assume she means ginger) has left half a carton of blood for them. Well that is new … cartons of blood now?  Oh well I guess they had to find some explanation.  Personally I like Jessica’s solution better (coming up in a minute).

Talking of the Vampire God – Billith continues to be losing it this week as after his “visit” from the invading Lilith clones he is now having visions of the torture of vampires.  What we don’t realise at this point is that he is actually getting visions of what is about to come.  Despite Jessica’s protests he basically shuts down and goes pretty much catatonic (hmmmmmm almost an improvement personality wise there) and goes for a little “dream” visit with the actual Lilith who tells him that things are starting.  Yes very helpful and cryptic. 

Jessica has this great idea to fix it and calls the equivalent of “Vamp Meals On Wheels” so that Bill will feed.  Well this “meal” got a lot more than she bargained for when the (still unmoving) Bill summons some sort of weird power, causes her body to contort in an absolutely ridiculous fashion and then basically repel all the blood from her body from her mouth into his before collapsing dead much to the screams of fear from Jessica cowering in the corner.  Not really sure what the point of this was other than some “new special effects” but it didn’t really hold any interest for me at all.  Then again not a lot that Bill does seems to anyway lol.

Day breaks and Arlene is busy running Merlottes and bitching at Sookie for forgetting her shift.  Before Sookie can get there Patrick’s wife (remember the one they killed because of the whole pointless iFritt story last year) who is looking for her husband.  Arlene takes charge telling the pregnant wife that yep Patrick is a jerk and he is gone and she just needs to get on with it because me suck and she should know!  Yet another plot point that I am guessing is going to just keep on popping up this season but at this point is kinda pointless.

Before Sookie can make it to the bar she finds a man (Ben)  who has been attacked by vampires.  We quickly find out that he is in fact part fairy like her and this is obviously the love interest that has been rumored for Sookie this season.  Sookie being Sookie of course takes him home and fixes him up.  Yet more filler setting up for later in the season but she does send him off to the big field where the secret fairy club is from last year where apparently he will be safe.  Only good thing about that was we got a quick peek of Andy and his little faerie brood as he is wandering around with them yelling for Morella to come and help him with them (with no success yet).

Sam has left Lafayette looking after Emma while he checks in to work and he gets confronted by someone with a whole lot of knowledge about shifters and weres and whats going on.  She wants Sam to come out and tell the whole story to the world and help the supernatural creatures all come out and work together.  Again more setting up for the season.  Poor Sam is not having a good episode because after a day of this he goes home only to find that although Emma and Lafayette have been safe all day once he gets home Alcide and the pack are waiting to take Emma back with them.  Hmmmmm Alcide has turned all power happy it seems.  He actually goes along with this injuring Lafayette and Sam in order to run off with that poor little wolf girl.  Not that I really care about all the shifter / were politics but this seems a big deviation for Alcide’s character. Maybe that V messed him up more than we figured.

Talking of messed up we get to see what Eric’s plan is.  He is going to disguise himself as a reporter and go and have a little chat with Governor Burrell.  Hmmmm not bad as ideas go and it looks like it is going to work.  After some pointless chit chat Eric gets down to the vampire stuff and tries to glamour the Governor and fix everything up.  Notice I said try?  Well it turns out the government has been very busy and they now have contact lenses to protect against glamouring.  Very inconvenient.  Maybe Jason should get a pair lol.  So Eric is captured and about to be hauled off for “examination” somewhere obviously not very pleasant but there is one thing they obviously didn’t know.  Vampires Fly!! And Eric takes off safely to the skies … for now anyway and puts into action part 2.   He appears at the Governor’s daughter’s window (the same daughter that is not too impressed with her Daddy’s little lockdown campaign for her at the moment) and he just waits for her to take out those lenses and glamours his way into her bedroom.  Love it!!

So like I said lots of set up for good things to come but nothing really exciting going on this week.  I was a little disappointed but then the previews for next week look brilliant so roll on Sunday because Waiting Sucks!!!

 

V””V

true-blood-saison-6-fangtasia-eric

Favorite Lines From ” The Sun” (not many this week … it was a little dry for me)

  • Nora: I am so sorry that your little bar was robbed and that you’re scared but Eric and I have to deal with a little matter of killing a vampire God”
  • Eric – “If The Humans Want War – We Will Give Them War!”
  • Arlene – “Sometimes life is just a shit-sandwich”.
  • Arlene – “Sugar this is Bon Temps. Down here ‘organic’ means you play the fancy piano at church”

 

 

 

True Blood Season 6 Ep 1 – “Who Are You Really” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again …… and here I am again .. and let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right there here we go!!  At the end of Season 5 we were left we several cliffhangers (for a full reminder click here), some of which we actually get resolved in the premiere.  Awesome!! So much more gratifying than the whole dragged out stuff … well for me anyway.

At the end of S5 we saw Bill die and dissolve onto to reform from the pile of Goo.  then we saw it from Eric and Sookie’s perspective but S6 starts us with the views through Billith’s eyes.  Eric and Sookie are making a run for it and Billith seems to have gone a little insane and is more interested than tearing through wires and destroying everything than actually chasing them.  Sparks are flying and it obviously isn’t going to be long before the whole building blows up.

Sam, Luna and Emma are escaping in the other direction but remember I said Luna didn’t look too good at the end of S5 … well she dies … or at least we are lead to believe she is dead and Sam runs off with Emma after promising he will keep them safe.  Hmmmmm I don’t know something just felt off about that.  As much as I felt it was her last skin walk when she was Steve Newlin this just felt weird.  Maybe I am reading too much into it … but having a vamp just kick at her and say “it’s dead” seemed a little overkill.  Sam makes it back to Merlottes with Emma where he finds Lafayette waiting and learns that Luna’s transformation has been all over the news.  Lafayette is just awesome. He takes poor Emma off to eat something fried, dipped in sugar, then fried again and promises not to tell anyone he saw them there.

 But I digress from the vamps ….. 

With that chaos continuing in another part of the Authority headquarters we get to see the crazy group of vamps (plus Jason) trying to get past all the guards that don’t quite seem to realize that all the authority members are gone and it is just total anarchy at this point.  The funniest thing though is not Jason (who is still on his I HATE FANGS kick) trying to work with the vamps but rather Pam who is not on board with Nora being in charge.  Seems that she has no idea who Nora …. hmmmm Guess Eric never mentioned he had a sister.  The “rag-tag bag of fuck ups” (Nora’s name for them) manage to escape only to have Pam and Jason want to return for Sookie and Eric but Nora is having none of it.  Luckily for her Eric and Sookie arrive in a van so they can all pile in.  Poor Jessica is missing Bill but as they start to drive off he appears, naked, blood covered, and walking through the flaming remains of the building.  Rather than heading for the van he takes straight up into the sky like a “Naked Evil Superman” (NICE JASON!!)

With the van racing away Nora and Pam just cannot get on and Eric has to pull over so they can sort things out.  Pam lets her feelings known and is in full Pam form with her descriptions of Eric’s annoying sister.  Eric sadly is not in the mood and sends her away where she ends up crying on the beach *sigh* … Stay Feisty Pam!!!   Eric talks to Nora wanting info from the book of Lilith but Nora is as clueless as to what could be going on. Apparently Lilith worshiping didn’t include what to do if a worshiper drinks all the sacred blood and goes off the rails but it does mention Warlow … apparently he is Lilith’s progeny …… Ooooh that can’t be good.  Poor Eric is totally lost with all the Warlow stuff and is a little irritated when Nora points out that even Jason seems to know more than him on the subject.  There is a showdown with Nora, Eric, Tara, Pam and Sookie all against Jason who obviously can’t win so he takes off.

Jessica is freaking out because she still thinks it is “Bill” and doesn’t want him hurt … a fact that should change when Bill starts using his suped up powers to “call” his child back to him.  Eric tries to stop Jessica and it almost ends up killing her.  Literally her heart is nearly ripped from her chest so they have no option other than let her heed his call … and of course Sookie goes with her.  Eric and Nora take to the sky leaving Pam with orders to take Tara to Fangtasia (which Pam is not amused about).

So let’s take a (very) quick break from the vamps to update you on the wolves.  At the end of last season (with the help of some V) Alcide makes pack master.  We get to see them celebrating (and munching on the old packmaster .. Mmmmm yummy *shudders* …. and then as usual there is lots of howling, and growling, and the required getting naked and going for a run.  Alcide seems to be enjoying himself although to me he looks ridiculous. Even worse the only sex scene this week was one with him, his new head bitch, and some other naked wolf chick.  YAWN!!  Ugh werewolf sex just doesn’t work for me.  I want naked vamps!!!

Continuing with the break let’s just cram all the non vamp stuff in here.  Remember Andy and his babies?  Yes well he is not coping so well. Totally overwhelmed by it all he needs a pep talk from Arlene as to how all new parents feel this way and he needs to start helping out.  You get to see how Terry has become very much into a father role (so far from when we first met him … although I kinda miss the old crazy Terry) .. and you think maybe Andy will be able to do this with a little support….. but SURPRISE ….. suddenly after all the baby scenes and Andy laying down for a well deserved nap on the couch you here the pitter patter of little feet running around and then “Hello Daddy” as four walking talking toddler girls are right there.  Wow those Fae babies grow fast.  Not sure where they are going with this but it sure beats the whole watch Andy deal with babies thing.

Staying on the non vamp stuff for just a touch longer, we know from trailers there is going to be a lot of political implications this season and they start this week.  With True Blood being in short supply Governor Burell has taken things into his own hands.  He is basically declaring war against the vamps.  No vampires out after dark, all vampire businesses to be closed down and taken back over by the State, and he urges all people that can to load up with wooden bullets. (Side note … love the touch of people in the crowd with Light Of Day Institute shirts).  Interestingly enough later in the show we see him meeting with Ms Suzuki who is in charge of  the Tru Blood company and offer her the free use of a bottling plant to get Tru Blood up and running again like a government bailout but with no publicity or strings attached. Hmmmm you know that THAT is not going to end well.  He says it is for money but we all know there has to be more than that.  Hmmmm doesn’t that zombie show have an evil governor? (Not really sure as I don’t watch it …. zombies you know … not a fan) … but I guess we will see there this is heading.

Remember Jason took off? Well he ends up getting picked up by Rutger Hauer’s new character who is obviously not quite human but poor Jason is not quite on the ball (although he does get his gun ready).  This new character was originally listed as being Macklin and then he is in the credits as Niall (who book lovers will know is a great-grandfather type fae character) but then when Jason is talking about Warlow he says that no one will be able to keep Warlow from Sookie … who do you think I am … and he vanishes.  Very strange.  Guess we will be waiting for more news on that too but it certainly isn’t going to put Jason any closer to wanting to help the vamps.

Jessica and Sookie make it to Bill’s house where they find Bill looking pretty normal and sitting on a chair on the porch.  Eric and Nora fly down and attack which ends with Eric being held by the throat looking as though Bill is about to kill him when Sookie STAKES BILL!! Yep stake right through the heart and ……. NOTHING.  Bill just looks mildly irritated and pulls it out.  Everyone is completely surprised but no-one (including Bill) seems to have any idea what these new powers are.  Jessica is scared but chooses to stay with Bill rather than leave with Sookie and there are lots of vamps growling at each other before Nora, Eric and Sookie finally leave Jessica and Bill to it.  Kinda bored with the vamps growling and snarling already.  Bit too wolfy for me.

Eric takes Sookie home and after a touching moment where Eric wishes she could be the fun girl in the white dresses he remembers to well writes, in blood, the house back over to her and then with tears the bitch RESCINDS his invitation.  How rude is that!  Outside Nora sees that Eric is in love with Sookie, something that she can’t understand and something that Eric makes quite clear is not up for discussion and neither is involving Sookie!

Pam and Tara make it back to the club and they have an argument because Tara wants to try and take Eric’s place and for just a moment it looks like Tara may have the upper hand.  WHAT??? Oh no just a moment there and Pam is back to her snappy self putting Tara back in her place.  Sadly only just in time for some kind of Swat club to swarm in and take Fangtasia under the governor’s new laws.  Tara tries to fight back but it hit with what seems to be some kind of vamp stun gun? Hmmm guess we will learn what the Green dots mean in the weeks to come.  Over all not looking good for Pam 😦

Back at Bill’s Jessica is in bed and they have a nice maker / progeny chat and we get to see that Bill has a whole bunch of new powers including freezing things in mid air.  Hmmmm he is trying to act as though he is trying to cope with the new powers the best he can but something is definitely off.  I guess we will see where these powers go.  Bill goes downstairs and is sitting reading a book when suddenly he starts getting flashes of visions and then BAM 3 Lilith type creatures in the corners of his room and they all rush inside him …. and it ends ..

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  I certainly enjoyed the premiere and love that everything other than the vamps had a back seat for the most part and I think we are in for one hell of a ride.  I say BRING IT ON!! 😀

V””V

true-blood-season-6-alexander-skarsgard-kristin-bauer-van-straten

Favorite Lines From Who Are You Really

  • Pam – “Excuse me Bitch Sergent who the HELL are you and why are you telling us what the fuck to do”
  • Pam – “Honey I don’t know about the world but I am about to end your face!”
  • Pam – “I Hate the beach … fish piss and sand in your cooch”
  • Jason – “I am sick of you bloodsuckers brain raping me against my will”
  • Eric – “Apparently our siblings don’t get along …. the only reason yours is still alive is out of courtesy to you”
  • Arlene – “When you stick Mr Happy inside someone’s hoo ha without a raincoat on babies come out!”
  • Lafayette – “Wrong Place At The Wrong Fucking Time Outta Be My Middle Fucking Name”
  • Pam – “Honey, this isn’t going to be some epic fucking love story .. you can never replace Eric and you never will”
  • Eric – “Nora, My darling Sister …… Don’t stir this pot!”

True Blood Season 5 Ep 11 Sunset Synopsis / Review V””V

So here we are at episode 11 (Yes majorly late this week as the finale is tomorrow but hey better late than never) and is it me or has this season gone by even faster than normal without anything really happening? I have a horrible feeling that Alan Ball’s final contribution is going to be a whole lot of unanswered questions and worse cliffhangers than normal to give us a major fangover until next year!!!  Oh yes normal disclaimer about my spoiler reviews and the length and detail they go into which I am assuming by now you all know it … and if not well you will soon find out. My favorite memorable lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and  new for this year HBO Go added online extras time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

This week starts with Bill slipping deeper into his religious madness.  He now thinks that Lilith is talking to him telling him that he is the chosen one because only one can lead. She tells him to drink all the blood that is left in the little vial.  Bill at this point is not totally convinced which is probably a good thing seeing as he is totally delusional already.  An overdose of crazy juice does not sound like a good plan to me!

While Bill is all caught up in his little insanity, Nora on the other hand is starting to finally realize that things may not all be perfect in the garden of Lilith.  Salome comes to let her know that a General is coming to talk to them and Nora puts on a good act but we get to see that her conviction is slipping.  She heads off to tell the others about the visit and ends up in Eric’s room where we finally get to see some Eric / Nora action!! Not nearly enough though in my opinion.  The moment is slightly marred by her begging for forgiveness and asking what they are going to do but still those two together are hot! Oh and we get to see that Eric indeed was faking it last week.  Not surprised about that at all!

Jessica also knows that things aren’t right and tries to use Bill’s phone to contact Jason to warn him that Russell and Steve are out there.  Unfortunately Bill catches her and gives her a lecture about how humans mean nothing and are just food.  Jessica tries to convince Bill that she has been reading the book and wants to make Jason a vampire but Bill asks her flat out if she is trying to manipulate him.  He turns things around and sends guards with Jessica to make her turn Jason.  Ooops!! That didn’t turn out quite how Jessica planned.

So Jessica is being whisked off to turn Jason while Bill and the rest of the “New Authority Chancellors” (including Eric) have their meeting with General Cavanaugh (head of security for the United States). The General is not a happy camper having been trying to get hold of Roman to work out what the hell is going on.  He knows that the vampires bombed their own Tru Blood factories and he wants to know why. He lets them know that the arrangement with Roman is now not working and that the Pentagon has been having talks about how to eradicate all the vampires from the Earth.  The vampires let them know that Roman is no more and that there is a new regime but the General is not worried.  He has video of Russell and Steve’s little escapade killing 22 college guys and warns that he will show it to the world.  He reminds them that they assured the world and the president himself that Russell was dead and right now the only thing standing between the vampires and war with the humans is him.  Eric is smart and seizes his opportunity and snaps the Generals neck pretending that it was a spur of the moment impulse but his motives soon become clear when he suggests that he and Nora go out on a glamouring campaign to cover all the problems up.  Annoyingly Bill knows Eric too well and whilst he lets them go he insists they take a guard detail with them.

Off they head and we see them in the back of the car while the 2 guards are in the front.  Eric asks if he can change the radio station and when they agree he leans forward and expertly stakes them both at once leaving a lovely goo splattered car.  Eric and Nora have a moment outside the car where Nora rips off her Lilith pendant and throws it to the floor commenting that they will be coming for them.  Eric looks at her and then they both shoot up into the air.  Hmmmmmm wonder if Nora will survive the finale? Poor Eric will be devastated if she doesn’t and I have to say I far prefer him with her rather than Sookie!  Sookie is just no end of trouble!

Back in Bon Temps Jason arrives home to find Jessica (complete with guards) waiting for him.  She tries to get the message across that something is wrong but Jason being Jason is not too quick on the uptake.  Next thing we know we see Jessica biting him and then they are in the ground and the guards are burying them.  Shock moment …. did Jessica actually turn him??? Nope! Turns out that somehow she manages to let Jason know what is going on and has faked the whole thing because she says NOW and Jason sits up and shoots the 2 guards.  2 piles of instant vamp goo and one very confused Jason.  Jessica explains that Russell and Steve are coming for Sookie and that Bill and Eric have gone mad with vamp religion and that she is sorry.  Poor Jessica really was trying to do the right thing. Looks like these two are just never going to work.  Such a shame.

Over at Fangtasia Pam and Tara are cleaning up the aftermath of killing the asshole Sheriff Elijah (and good riddance) and Tara is getting a quick lesson in the laws of the vampires which obviously Pam has failed to share until now.  Tara is very unimpressed by the whole idea of the Authority but Pam lets her know that in this case at least fear would be a good thing.  Pam orders her not to ever speak about what happened with Elijah again.  You know that this is not going to be good.  Even as Tara was saying how all traces of Elijah are gone I could see blood splattered on the book on the deskAs they leave the office Jessica comes in begging Pam to hide her.  Pam’s first response is No but Jessica has an ace up her sleeve.  She knows where Eric is and no matter how bad things are Pam still wants Eric back and so Pam orders Tara to get Jessica’s coffin out of storage.

At the Authority headquarters we see Luna and Sam scampering around as mice although they have no idea where they are.  You know I still can’t believe NONE of the vamps can smell that there are two shapeshifters running around in there no matter how quickly they keep shifting back to their mice personas.  Can I add here that I am really sick of seeing Luna’s boobs?  She definitely does not have any sex appeal for me at all and the last few episodes every other scene we see her in she is naked.

Crazy as things are getting we haven’t seen anything yet as we head over to the Fae nightclub where Sookie is about to meet the Elder Fae who apparently is the oldest fairy to have escaped through the portals before they closed.  Now the hope is that this Elder can give Sookie some help with regard to the whole Warlow problem but they warn Sookie that the Elder has been so many places over so much time that she has trouble focussing. That is a vast understatement.  This Elder is completely crazy! Throwing out random questions about popular culture in between her cognitive moments as she dances around the stage with some weird African style movements.  I am sure this looked like a much better idea when they wrote it out because the reality of it was another one of those “Giant Egg” moments from Season 2.  Bizarre in the extreme and really just not working on any level.  The main outcome seems to be that as long as the fairies hold on to their light they will be OK.  Right in the middle of it Jason interrupts and freaks the Elder out by letting her know that Russell is alive.  Apparently even with all her eons of knowledge this was not part of it.  Sookie, however, already knows all about Russell and as the fairies all freak out she explains that they need to fight because Russell is not going to stop coming for them.  Surprisingly the crazy Elder fae agrees even though Morella thinks it is suicide. Jason and Sookie go outside and we hear that they have a plan.  We don’t get to know what the plan is yet but we now know they have one although Jason is all for not following the plan and just killing Russell on sight.  Not quite sure how he would plan on doing that what with Russell being a 3000 year old vampire and all but hey good luck with that!

With daytime hitting  we get a scene with Holly and Andy at Merlottes and Holly making her kids apologize for the naked Andy Facebook picture.  Andy gives them a nice speech about how he will be there for Holly as long as she will have him.  Well we all know that this is going to go wrong when that pregnant fairy pops up to show herself which doesn’t take long.  Andy is back at the bar at lunch time and is talking with Arlene and Terry when Morella pops in much to the shock of Arlene who quickly surmises that Andy is responsible.  Andy is not happy with the situation and goes into the office to try and convince Morella that he wants to be with Holly but silly Andy made the light pact last season.  Oh we all knew that that was going to be a bad idea that would come back to haunt him and although it has taken almost all season here it is! Now Morella is demanding that he honor the pact to protect her and their baby or she claims it will be an act of war. 

We get to see what Alcide has been up to which is basically not a lot.  He is at his dad’s and he appears to be  just smashing the ground for no good reason.  The Packmaster of Jackson shows up to let them know that there has been a huge increase in what appear to be newborn vamp attacks and to have a little dig at Alcide’s dad.  We learn, after the packmaster leaves, that the reason that Alcide’s dad is no longer in the pack is he stole money from them obviously to support his gambling addiction.  The whole Alcide storyline just seems a little redundant at this point.  I am assuming at some point he is going to be going back to fight to take the other pack back? You know personally I could just pass on the whole werewolf storyline completely but if they insist on having it in there they need to get moving with it! When night falls we get to see Alcide deal with some of the pesky babyvamps who are attacking his neighbours.  Apparently someone forgot to give the babyvamps all the info because one of them seems really surprised that when they die they turn to goo.Alcide gets in a little over his head and it is his dad to the rescue. Hmmmm wonder if that means his dad is going to come back with him when he goes to fight the packmaster in Shreveport. 

Back to Fangtasia with Pam giving Jessica and Tara a lesson on nests and how it seems that this Lilith’s blood is causing nest behaviour but on steroids.  Pam for me has definitely been a stand out this season even more than usual.  Her one liners and sarcasm have been through the roof and I LOVE it! As Pam goes up to work in the bar Jessica notices that maybe Tara likes Pam in more than a friend kinda way.  They have a cute little bonding moment and Tara says she will try to bring Jessica a Fangbanger later.  Hilarious. Up in the bar with Tara working and Pam surveying from Eric’s throne things are about to take a turn for the worst as Rosalyn comes in.  It turns out that she was Sheriff Elijah’s maker. Uh oh! She tells Tara she can smell his blood on her but Pam steps up and says that she killed him and immediately gets arrested.  Jessica has crept upstairs and is lurking around when Rosalyn smells her and now Jessica is caught too.  See this is what annoys me with the whole smelling thing …… Rosalyn can smell Jessica but couldn’t notice not one but TWO shifters?  Ridiculous!!!!!!

Back to the vampire headquarters and Lilith is still trying to get Bill to drink the rest of her blood and she almost has him convinced.  He goes to the little chamber but finds Kibwe already there, crying, saying that Lilith appeared to him.  Bill is not impressed and puts and end to Kibwe by removing his head! Hmmmmmm looks like Lilith is really up to no good. At this rate there won’t be ANY of the Authority members left for the finale.  Deep down in the cells Luna and Sam are exploring and they find cage after cage of humans (who are surprised as anything when 2 mice become human) which is obviously the equivalent of the Authority pantry.  At the end of all these cages they find Emma, still in cub form but just as they do two guards appear and question why Luna and Sam aren’t locked up.  They quickly start to rectify that when another guard appears stating that Chancellor Compton has requested his breakfast.  Sam volunteers to go saying he would rather get it over with and tells Luna to do whatever she needs to.  As Sam is being taken to Bill there is one of the funniest scenes of the season in my opinion with Pam being escorted down to the cells and they pass each other and question what they are each doing there.  Even better Sam tells Pam to help Luna but Pam has no clue who Luna is.  Nice to see that they are keeping track of who knows who!

Bill gets paged up to the main lobby to see Jessica and poor Jessica tries to reason with Bill but Bill has completely lost the plot and ends up slapping Jessica so hard that she goes flying across the room.  Now Bill always gets on my nerves but this is totally ridiculous.  Someone needs to teach him a lesson and fast!  Let’s hope that Eric has a plan for next week!

While all this is going on Salome gets a visit from Lilith who tells her that SHE is the chosen one and to go and drink the blood.  Now I am betting that Salome isn’t going to have any problem with that at all and will head there just as fast as her vampire legs will carry her.  Guess we will see what happens with that next week too.

Jason is waiting on Sookie’s porch complete with shotgun and Russell appears out of nowhere and disarms him. Steve then appears and they make, as Russell calls it, a hunk sandwich with Jason in the middle.  A little glamouring later and Jason is happily leading the two vampires to the Fae club to see Sookie.  It is hilarious when they get to the field to see Russell and Steve zipping around like crazy because they can smell all the fairies but of course they can’t see the club.  Eventually Russell gets frustrated and hold Jason hostage threatening to tear him apart unless Sookie comes out.  We get to see inside the club where we learn that the plan was apparently for Jason to bring Russell there for the fairies to fight but suddenly the Elder Fae has a different idea.  She is going to go outside to fight him by herself.  Oh you know that is a BAD plan!  Whilst she manages to zap Steve when she tries to zap Russell and banish him he moves Jason in front of him and then before she can strike again Russell zips around and drains her dry.  Told you it was a bad plan.  Even worse now Russell is full of fairy blood he can see the club and that is where we end this week with Russell drunk and looking at a whole room full of fairies!!

And so with the finale fast approaching and rumors that it will be more blood filled than ever it is time to ask who will survive to see season 6. Alan Ball has apparently written this final episode of the season which is only fitting as he wrote the script for the very first episode too.  I am guessing that there are going to be way more questions than we get answers on Sunday and we will yet again be left with almost a year of speculation.  My prediction is that they are setting this up for the Fae war that is mentioned in the books and I am thinking that season 6 will probably have the Shifters coming out as well.  As for who will survive I would say that the only definites would be Sookie, Eric, Bill and Sam.  I am going to say Jason, Pam and Tara will probably make it too but everyone else is probably fair game especially after killing Roman off after so few episodes.  I am pretty sure Salome and Rosalyn will be definite casualties and Nora and Luna may be there too.  I am really hoping that Russell and Steve make it but sadly I have a feeling they may not which would be a terrible waste. They have been amazing this season and I would love to keep them around.  I would love some answers as to what is really going on with all the Lilith stuff but I think that is going to be just left floating around as a we will never know.  *Sigh*

 

V””V

Memorable Lines From Sunset

  • Pam – “Since when did I become a halfway house for wayward baby vamps?”
  • Sookie – “I know you have trouble with frequencies, but there’s a creepy vampire ghost air monster who killed my parents and now he’s coming to get me.”
  • Arlene – “You gotta know that person’s gonna be there for you through thick and thin, cuz you never know when some Iraqi ghost lady is gonna curse your entire family.”
  • Pam – “I find most vampires as irritating as most humans.”
  • Pam – “Maybe later we can braid each others hair and talk about boys”
  • Tara – “Shes a lotta bark …. and a lotta bite”
  • Russell – “I actually met him (Jesus) … He was a boring hippie who stank of patchouli!”
  • Russell – “Impressive … you are Turbo charged”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 02.09 – The Evolution Of Bill
  • 02.19 – The Evolution Of Bill
  • 02.29 – The Evolution Of Bill
  • 05.11 – Seductive Reasoning (Video)
  • 06.31 – Holy Roller (Video)
  • 08.12 – Jess Grows Up (Video)
  • 10.10 – Make Up Sex (Video)
  • 11.38 – Living A Lie (Video)
  • 12.40 – True Trivia : General Cavanaugh
  • 12.45 – True Trivia : General Cavanaugh
  • 12.51 – True Trivia : General Cavanaugh
  • 15.09 – Pricey Takeout
  • 18.57 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 19.33 – Jason’s Shit List (Video)
  • 19.41 – Babies Having Babies (Video)
  • 20.34 – Emotional Volume (Video)
  • 21.20 – Relive (Very) Random Act Of Kindness (Video)
  • 21.55 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 22.25 – A Complicated Victory (Video)
  • 23.37 – True Trivia : The Elder
  • 23.42 – True Trivia : The Elder
  • 23.47 – True Trivia : The Elder
  • 26.06 – Now Playing : Cars, Bars, and Guitars performed by The Go Getters
  • 29.21 – Now PLaying : Little Girl Wandered Off performed by Derrick Stout
  • 32.23 – Now Playing : Rodeo Queen performed by Gayle Lynn
  • 33.35 – A Promise is a Promise
  • 35.08 – Nest Behavior
  • 35.27 – True Faith (Video)
  • 36.24 – Just A Crush (Video)
  • 36.49 – Partner In Angst (Video)
  • 36.56 – Now Playing : What Makes A Good Man performed by The Heavy
  • 38.43 – Blame Game (Video)
  • 40.05 – Werewolf Dinnertime
  • 41.49 – Eternal Flame (Video)
  • 41.59 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 42.15 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 42.51 – True Secret : Allergic To My Kid
  • 43.18 – Office Dress Code (Video)
  • 43.57 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 44.02 – Cold Blooded Bill (Video)
  • 44.20 – True Trivia : AHQ Guest List
  • 44.25 – True Trivia : AHQ Guest List
  • 45.38 – Bad Dads (Video)
  • 46.00 – Loose God (Video)
  • 46.47 – True Secret : That Smell
  • 48.59 – Spin Off Show (Video)
  • 49.04 – Now Playing : Sunset performed by Stevie Wonder

True Blood Season 5 Ep 10 Gone, Gone, Gone Synopsis / Review V””V

Greetings and Salutations fellow Trubies (or my random blog followers). Major delay this week due to real life issues but here I am with my thoughts on Episode 10.  After last week I must say I had very high hopes for this one, with 2 of the less interesting storylines done and dusted, but sadly my hopes were not reached AND HBO did us out of another almost 15 minutes of screen time .. AGAIN!!!  Normally at this point there is a little disclaimer about my spoiler reviews and the length and detail they go into but I am assuming by now you all know it … and if not well you will soon find out. My favorite memorable lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and  new for this year HBO Go added online extras time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

This week starts with “News reports” about all the Tru Blood factory bombings and Steve Newlin spinning his little blurb about despite how vampire attacks are rumoured to be on the rise humans should feel safe and continue their lives as normal blah blah blah at which point we see Sookie watching the news and she shuts it off to sit down and eat the chinese she has ordered.  Funny I didn’t even know they HAD a chinese take-out in Bon Temps.  Well good thing for Sookie that they did as she gets a visit from Mike Spencer (coroner) who is here about the body.  After inviting him in a poor confused Sookie asks “what body” and Mike sprouts fangs and says YOURS!!!  Sadly for Mike this isn’t Sookie’s first vamp encounter and he meets the true death at the end of some pointy chopsticks.  Makes a change from a pencil I suppose.

Andy comes to investigate and the discussion starts off with how Mike would have loved the crime scene and a little reminiscing about how Mike was good for the town and ended up with how Mike wanted to suck Sookie’s toes and that he kept his porn with his autopsy photos. Well OK then. All in all it turns out that there won’t be an investigation as at the moment with everything going on, one less vamp to worry about is apparently a good thing….. so nothing new with Bon Temps law enforcement there then!

Over at Vamp headquarters poor techie Molly is about to receive the True Death at the hands of her own iStake invention for her part in the failed escape attempt last week.  They do give her one last chance to “accept Lilith” but Molly, after a moving little speech becomes the second vampire pile of goo this week.  Shame really. She did amuse me.  Steve is absolutely ECSTATIC about the whole thing having never actually seen a vampire meet the end before.  Salome is unamused by his little display but Russell enjoys it and decides they should all go out to eat. Salome again is not impressed but it becomes clear that Russell is fast growing bored of the whole “New Authority” idea unless it is the killing and eating side of it.  Well good for Russell because I have to admit I am a little bored with it too! Steve and Russell leave with a parting wish of Good Luck for dealing with Northman.

It seems that their plan for dealing with Eric is to make him trip out again by giving him some more of whatever is in that little vial of “Lilith” blood.  Wonder if we will ever get to discover what exactly that is?  Nora, very generously (insert eye roll here), offers to take the blood and share the trip with him. Oh how nice of her.  Yes that is a REAL sacrifice thereThey force the blood down Eric’s throat and then leave him and Nora to whatever vision they might have as Bill spies from another room on his little monitor.

And what a vision they share (although Bill can’t see it), Godric appears to both Nora and Eric and says a touching little piece and tries to convert Nora ….. and he almost seems to be convincing her until  Lilith appears and rips Godric  to shreds!!! Oooooh I didn’t see that coming! Can you kill a ghost? Vision? Hmmm well this is all just a little confusing.

Far less confusing, and rather sweet is the scene with Russell and Steve, dancing the night away to Katy Perry, covered in the blood of a cabin load of tourists they have just eaten. Awww these 2 really are a cute couple.  Russell is back on his Sun Walking kick so we know he is going for Sookie and Steve is right on board.  Actually at this point I think Steve would just do whatever Russell says!

Back towards Bon Temps we see Hoyt being driven home from the hospital by his mother and it seems that he has had a revelation following his almost getting eaten by a pig.  he is going to move to Alaska and start a new life. Well OK then.  Rather random but as Hoyt has been rather irritating this season that works for me.  In order for this to happen he decides he needs a meeting with Jessica and Jason to clear the air and what better place than Merlottes.  It seems, however, that he didn’t tell them who they were meeting and we see Jessica arrive first and almost get shot by 2 redneck hicks who are at the bar.  With a little intervention from the fabulous Lala and Sam all is under control and Jessica decides she is not going to eat the attackers after all but I don’t think they will be back any time soon.

Hoyt arrives and spills his whole “moving to Alaska” plan and the one thing he wants as a going away present is for Jessica to glamour away all memories of her and of Jason, including them growing up together. Now I suppose that this was supposed to be a really touching scene, and I am sure for many it was, but for me it was just filler and kinda pointless.  I am not really sure what they are up to here.  Is Hoyt really going to just leave and that’s it? Wow someone making it out alive when Alan Ball could add another one to his body count. Well I suppose there are still 2 episodes left.  We do see Hoyt driving off and Jason pulling him over to show us that oooooh Hoyt doesn’t remember him … yes Glamour works.  We get it.  Dull Dull Dull!

Merlottes is not the only bar having issues as Fangtasia is struggling to make any money which is not amusing new Sheriff Elijah.  He wants to bring in the equivalent of “peep show boothes” but instead of a show the vamp gets to bite a human for 30 seconds.  Pam is not amused by that and is even LESS amused at the idea that Area 5 has to produce 30 new baby vamps by the end of the year and if she fails to do so Elijah gets the bar AND Tara. Hmmm this isn’t going to end well.

Away from Elijah’s prying ears Tara offers to make a couple of babyvamps as after all she always wanted a couple of kids but Pam has other plans.  She says that Elijah can take Fangtasia, it is just a building, and she and Tara will take off and live in the wind just like Pam and Eric used to.  Well that sounds like a much better plan than Tara making a couple of new vamps *shudders*.

As it turns out Tara comes up with a plan all on her own. With the help of Ginger, she creates a “fake” emergency that she calls Elijah in to see saying that she is worried she had killed a human and didn’t know how to change her over.  Elijah looks unimpressed and bitches about Pam being a bad maker … and then he realises that Ginger isn’t even dead and that is when Ginger sticks a sword in him which distracts him just long enough for Tara to cut his head off!!!  Ginger starts screaming (Oh it wouldn’t be a season of True Blood without at least one screaming Ginger scene) and Pam comes running to see what the fuss is about and although she doesn’t seem amused you know deep down she is one proud mama vamp right now!

Daytime hits and Sookie is planning on going to stay with Jason for a while so he is helping her pack up some things and they discuss Gran’s message about looking “under the bed”.  Jason works out that it might be LITERALLY under the bed rather than in the box and sure enough he finds a floor board that can come up with an ancient scroll hidden there.  They take it to a university to be analysed and are told that the language appears to be made up at which point they realise what the rest of us already worked out.  It is written in Fae. So they take it to the fairy club where the pregnant Morella (hmmm Andy is going to have some explaining to do at some point) decipher it to let them know that basically Sookie has been promised to Warlow. Oops!! Well they have 2 episodes to either work that out or that will be one of the cliffhangers that they leave to annoy us for a year until season 6.

Sam and Luna are using the day to try and work out a way to get Emma back.  The pack has abandoned them and everyone else seems to think Luna is crazy (well they may have a point there).  Sam does manage to find where Steve is going to be doing a press conference that night though and assumes that Emma might be there with him and so they take off to New Orleans to try and attempt a rescue all on their own. Hmmmm 2 shifters against a whole load of vamps …… doesn’t sound like much of a plan to me but I guess it is the best they got!

They get to where the interview is being filmed but there is no sign of Emma, (because as we get to see she is back at the vampire headquarters with Russell), however, they do manage to find Steve’s cell phone complete with pictures of Emma on it and so they do what any good shifters would do ….. turn into mice and hide in his bag.  Now is it me or would you expect a vampire to be able to smell that not one but TWO shifters were just in the room with his stuff? I mean seriously? And with Rosalyn with him too? Surely ONE of them should have been able to smell them.  USELESS!!

In the meantime Russell sends Emma off with a babysitter (dog sitter?? wolf sitter?)  while a now subdued, and apparently converted, Eric comes in and apologizes to Russell.  So this is just getting weird now.  Is Eric playing along? Has he really converted to Lilith?  How has Alan Ball yet again taken what could have been a great storyline and dragged it out into dullness?? Anyway Eric apologizes and Russell looks … well let’s just say Russell obviously has ulterior motives but they are not clear quite yet.  A happy Lilith convert Russell definitely is not!

Jessica has been bought to the vampire headquarters under the order of Bill and he seems very happy to have her there. She quickly realises that something is not quite right but is smart enough to play along for now at least.  With her history of religious families and what she endured this is probably not going to be the best fit for her.

Steve returns (complete with shifter mice in his bag… which STILL no one is smelling …..) to find that Emma is not a puppy but is a human and he is not happy about it one bit and uses the old “Do you want Nigel to eat you” threat … hmmmmm parenting skills may need a little work there Steve!

In the boardroom Jessica is studying the “bible” as the rest of the vamps plan their next move which apparently is to get EVERYONE to read the vampire bible, old and new alike.  Russell is bored and wants to go find fairy blood and play in the light. Salome disagrees and says that they need to stay in the dark and threatens to put Russell back in the ground.  Oh no Salome … tut tut tut ….. you should know better than that but she doesn’t and Russell responds by throwing her against the wall.  Oh that is probably the most interesting thing that has happened this episode! Ugh she gets on my nerves!!! And so Russell has had enough and after threatening the WHOLE room of vamps and reminding them that he is 3000 years old and could kill them all!!! He takes off!!! (Leaving a very stunned room of vamps) Ooooh goody!!! Let’s hope he is off to cause some total mayhem for next week’s episode!

And there you have it ….. just 2 episodes to go and really the only questions seem to be … what is going to happen with Sookie and Warlow …. will he get to keep her as the contract says …. I am going to go out on a limb here and say probably not!! And then you have the vampires and their takeover of the world with their underground plan which is probably now going to go all to hell as Russell is bored and has gone off to do his own thing.  Oh and we are still in the dark as to whether Eric has actually converted or not.  I am going to go with no on that one too.  Still no real hot action this season *sigh* … no longer can we really refer to it really as vampire porn *pouts*……

V””V

Memorable Lines From Gone, Gone, Gone

  • Molly – “You are destroying the world based on a book that is thousands of years old. You call that evolved? That’s the opposite of evolved.”
  • Russell “Your religion has literally kept you in the dark. You can have your Lilith. I will not be constrained by your god or anyone else’s. I will have the sun!”
  • Sam – “I’m all out of True Blood but I got 2 new specials on the menu”
  • Tara – “You gotta help me … I don’t know nothing ’bout birthing no baby vampires”
  • Steve – “Emma … you know daddy doesn’t like it when you are human …. do you want Nigel to eat you?”
  • Russell – “Are we seriously sitting here discussing education reform? Are we vampires or school maams?”

HBO Go – Extras

  • 00.51 – Spin Doctor (Video)
  • 02.09 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 02.17 – How To Stake A Vampire In A Pinch
  • 02.21 – How To Stake A Vampire In A Pinch
  • 02.26 – How To Stake A Vampire In A Pinch
  • 02.31 – How To Stake A Vampire In A Pinch
  • 04.45 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 05.51 – True Secrets : Power Suits
  • 05.59 – Now Playing : Bread and Water performed by Caroline Horn
  • 06.08 – True Secret : Who Loves Maxine Fortenberry?
  • 10.08 – First Draft : Torturing Eric
  • 11.04 – Converting Eric (Video)
  • 12.21 – Godric’s Return (Video)
  • 13.17 – Unsteady Ground (Video)
  • 13.29 – Now Playing: Teenage Dream performed by Katy Perry
  • 14.01 – I’m Thinking Greek
  • 14.09 -An Older Man (Video)
  • 14.15 – Now Playing : Gone Gone Gone performed by Carl Perkins
  • 15.41 – Fear of the Unknown (Video)
  • 16.25 – Now Playing : Supertripper performed by Circuit Freq
  • 17.06 – A United Front (Video)
  • 22.57 – Parting Ways (Video)
  • 25.41 – Visit The AVL Website
  • 27.26 – A Real Good Guy (Video)
  • 27.48 – Attention To Detail
  • 28.32 – Second Look : Mysterious Scroll
  • 28.56 – Now Playing : Need A Little Help performed by Cree Rider
  • 30.09 – Andy’s Appeal (Video)
  • 30.15 – Jessica’s Vlog : Let’s Get Together And Feel Alright (Video)
  • 31.31 – Lafayette’s Lover
  • 34.33 – True Trivia : Go To Shifts
  • 34.38 – True Trivia : Go To Shifts
  • 34.43 – True Trivia : Go To Shifts
  • 37.47 – Bye Bye Bubba (Video)
  • 40.22 – New Bill, Old Bill (Video)
  • 40.27 – Now Playing : Heavens to Murgatroid performed by Acumen Nation
  • 41.03 – True Score : Goo Counter
  • 41.08 – Relive : Deja Goo (Video)
  • 41.20 – Not In Our House (Video)
  • 44.32 – Your Roots Are Showing
  • 44.52 – Daddy Dogma (Video)
  • 45.45 – Relive : The First Time (Video)
  • 47.28 – Now Playing : You Know, I Know performed by John Lee Hooker