True Blood Season 5 Ep 8 Somebody I Used To Know Synopsis / Review V””V

Wow fellow True Blood fans, can you believe we are episode 8 already?  That means this season is 2/3 of the way OVER already.  These weeks are just flying past. Little note here for those that may be interested … this episode was directed by Stephen Moyer, the first time a True Blood cast member has picked up the directing reigns for an episode. Wonder if we will see more of them give it a try in the future.  For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet.  I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch so I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

So at the end of last week we had the vampires on their rampage and Eric getting a visit from Godric telling him everything is wrong.  Really Godric could you PLEASE just for once remember that you used to love all the carnage and go with that …. just for one episode … Oh that would be awesome!! But alas Alan Ball has other plans and it would seem that Eric is destined to be the voice of reason *sigh* but more on that later. 

This week actually picked up with Sam confronting the attacker at the hospital as Andy takes him into custody but not before the redneck tells Sam that they are everywhere.  Luna is having a total meltdown ,not coping at all and decides the best thing would be for them to go hunting the rednecks and see how they like it.  Personally I am with Luna here but Sam convinces her that he is going to the station and she should just rest while Deputy Kevin sits outside the door.  Hmmmmmm not convinced he would be a lot of good in the face of a real attack but there you go.  Luna is so disgusted by this idea that her meltdown turns into skinwalking and voila … we have Luna in a Sam Suit.   Oh much as I am not a shifter girl you KNOW this is going to be good 😀  Shifters I may not care for but Sam Trammell is one hell of an actor!

Luna tries repeatedly to just “shift” back but that isn’t working so she leaves, complete in Sam suit, much to the surprise and confusion of poor Kevin who is, it has to be said, definitely the worst guard ever as he just sits there are lets her/him wander off without checking the room despite the fact that he saw the real Sam leave earlier. He really is useless!

Over at the Authority headquarters (are they still really the Authority with their new agenda?) the vampires are returning from their night on the town and are still all high as kites, except poor Eric who just seems to be at that confused part after being out of it.  They tumble out of the elevator, mouths all bloody, worshiping the knowledge that they have seen, or so they believe, the blood goddess Lilith. All it all it looks like a messed up Mardi Gras celebration complete with all the beads and I have to confess it looks like fun!!

And so they sit around and discuss the new plan which seems to be generally Mainstreaming is out and feeding on humans is in.  They even send Steve out to procure a few dozen humans to have on hand for snacks including a baby for Nigel, because apparently Lilith wants him to eat a baby.  Eric at this point decides he has had enough fun for one night and leaves trying to get Bill to come with him but Bill declines. I wish that Eric was the one that was more on board with this new regime.  Perhaps Alan Ball is trying to get the true vampire fans to like him a little better although by setting Eric up to almost be a hero that may backfire.  I adore Eric but would love to see him embracing his true vampyric nature.  Someone needs to find spirit Godric and tell him to stop interfering!

Bill does show a brief moment of wavering when Salome invites him in for a late night snack which turns out to be the mother of a 4 month old tied to the bed.  We get a little flashback to when Bill’s daughter was dying and he didn’t turn her and that seems to be the final straw that breaks the camel’s back and feed on the young mother he does … and he enjoys it.

Back in Bon Temps Sookie is still trying to dump all her fairy light and manages to zap Jason (in the head so no damage done).  Jason convinces her that she doesn’t really want to be like everyone else and that he would give anything to be special.  Jason has really matured so much over the last few seasons but it is great to see he still comes up with the funniest lines in the show.

At Fangtasia Jessica is looking amazing and dancing away apparently trying to copy one of the girls on the poles. Perhaps she is after a new job?  Anyway as she is dancing what appears to be a fangbanger comes up to dance with her and after telling Jess that his blood tastes like a milkshake (what kind of milkshakes has HE been drinking one would like to know), the leave together with Jess having a very smug expression on her face. She certainly seem to be enjoying her new freedom.

Next up we have the moments I am sure all your furverts have been waiting for.  We get to see some naked Alcide action (although personally this is something I could definitely do without).  He is busy getting hot and heavy with Rikki (the female werewolf who is to be his second in the packmaster contest) and I suppose the whole point of this is supposed to show that werewolves like it rough … ish …. Well I don’t know.  Yes it was mildly more entertaining than having to watch Alcide and Debbie but give me a vampire anyday….and in the middle of it to have a whole “girlfriend” discussion …. SAD!

At redneck central, also known as some weird little shack out in the middle of nowhere, we find out where Hoyt was heading off to last week with his new little hate group buddies. He was being taken to get his surprise, which unsurprisingly, was a very pathetic looking Jessica, who found out the hard way that even if you are a vampire, going home with a complete stranger is probably not a good idea, as she has ended up bloody and chained with silver, her beautiful clothes ripped, and her cheeks stained with blood tears.  Poor Hoyt is obviously shocked, even more so when he realises that the plan is for him to kill her, or rather get rid of her because “she is already dead!” Even better they decide that they are going to lock Hoyt in there with her until he decides to do it.  Now obviously none of them have watched any movies EVER because we all know that when you say things like that nothing ever goes the way you want it to! I know it, you know it, but these idiots are obviously just too stupid to know it.

Sookie and Jason have decided to pay another visit to the fae nightclub to discover if there is anything they can do to learn the identity of the vampire that killed their parents.  Claude originally was saying that the fae don’t get involved with such maters but then one of the sisters opens her mouth to say there may be a way and we get to learn that Alan Ball has invented yet another fairy gift.  Hmmmm do you think they sit around saying … I am not sure what we can do about this problem … I know let’s just give the Fae another ability??   In this case the ability is that they can go back into people’s memories of a certain time at the place it happened so it is a field trip to the bridge and what looks like a casting circle that witches would use with everyone together holding hands to “share energy”.  Hmmmmm Sookie after what happened last time you were involved in these kind of circles you would really think that you would know better.

Sookie goes back into her mother’s memories but at some point during the flashback things change and she suddenly finds herself seeing things through the eyes of the attacking vampire rather than through her mothers.  Oh you know this is not going to be good.  Whilst we don’t get to see the actual vampire’s face we do see Claudine and she calls a name “Warlow” (?sp) just before she blasts him with her fairy light but not before he has managed to kill both of Sookie’s parents.  Now this blast actually knocks Sookie out of the circle (see I told you this circle idea was not a good one) and the fairies are saying that she shouldn’t have been able to link with a vampire.  So what does this mean?  Is it a side effect maybe of all the vampire blood she has consumed / been transfused with over the last couple of years?  Is it some weird quirk in her abilities that just happens to be there? Maybe that is why she seems to be always attracted to vampires.  Who knows.  knowing my luck Alan Ball will deem this fit to be another mystery than hangs forever unanswered and is just one of those things that is. Oh and Albert Einstein was a halfling (just like Sookie) .. Hmmm OK then!

Little sidebar here for book reader ….. Does anyone else think there may be a connection between the name Warlow and the Waldo in the book that was Queen Sophie Ann’s vampire that killed Hadley?  Could they be setting it up that QSA was involved all along? After all we know that she has sent Bill to do some spying and it seems to be a rather large coincidence that Claudine was already involved with the protection?  Just things that are running through my mind right now so thought I would share them .  I guess we will find out, or not, as things unfold.

At the redneck hideaway, left alone with Jessica, poor Hoyt just doesn’t know what to do.  It is obvious that he still loves her but she hurt him so badly.  Eventually we get a flash to the other room where one of the Milkshake redneck is waiting (and all alone … wonder where the other redneck losers went) and we hear a gunshot, which causes him to rush in and ask Hoyt if he did it, only to have Jessica spring from behind the door and break his neck. Good for Jessica.  Not so good for Jessica is it turns out that so much time has passed it is now the middle of the day and no way for her to leave and Hoyt heads off promising to come back with help.

Also out on the road is poor  Lafayette is heading home after his nasty adventure last week and his mouth looks so sore.  (Hmmmm anyone else ever wonder what happened to the awesome car that Eric gave him … did I miss something somewhere?) During his drive he find Jesus’ little medical kit along with his nametag, and inside the little kit is a vial of vampire blood so Lafayette is able to heal.  Even nicer is that as he heals Jesus appears in the car next to him and they are able to have a little moment together and whatever that moment was by the time Lafayette gets home he has his mojo back and then some.  It was so great to see him throwing out zingers like he used to.  Of course his visitors Arlene and Holly don’t seem so impressed.  They have come to ask him to perform a fake séance to convince Terry that the woman from Iraq has forgiven him and called off the curse.  Lafayette lets them know that his days of helping are OVER … unless they want to pay $300 which Arlene and Holly look none too impressed with and Lala closes the door.  Hilarious!!!

At the police station Andy is interrogating his suspect (With Sam standing right there… hmmmm yes no protocol in the world of Bon Temps apparently) and the idiot has decided that he isn’t going to rat out his friends.  Sam convinces Andy to leave them alone for a minute so that he can use some of his “techniques” to try and get answers.  Andy agrees and when he leaves Sam starts to get naked and then changes into a snake!! Awesome!! Oh and he get’s the information they need and discover that Jessica is in trouble.

At the front desk, while Andy is getting his coffee, in walks ….. SAM!!! Well obviously not Sam but Luna in her Sam suit.  Poor Andy! He just doesn’t know what to do.  But I have to pause here to give credit to Sam (The actor).  What an AMAZING job he does playing Luna playing him!! Flashbacks to him as Tommy playing him and the awesome job he did there but having 2 Sam’s in the same room for several scenes?? Genius!!! Kudos to the whole team for that one! And off they go, 2 Sams and an Andy to rescue Jessica!

When they get there they find that she is unharmed and just sitting with the dead milkshake guy (Reggie) on the floor and confused as hell about why there are 2 Sams and no Hoyt as Hoyt was supposed to be the one sending them to get help.  Sam (the Luna one) sniffs around and discovers that a woman has been there recently and who he describes sounds a little like Maxine apart from the smoking part but while they are working this out Luna Sam gets hit with the first of the bad side effects from the skinwalking.  Now we all remember I am sure what happened to Tommy but what isn’t clear is what the finite rules for skinwalking are.  All we know is that after you run a high fever and vomit blood. Oh and really what does it matter because Alan Ball isn’t really good at sticking to rules anyway.  Whatever the case Luna is not looking too good.

They head home and we get a very tender scene with Luna Sam lying on Sam Sam’s lap and Sam Sam trying to convince her that she isn’t going to die.  She shifts back to herself and seems for a second as if she will be alright but then the pain hits and she starts vomiting blood.  Guess we will have to wait until next week to find out if she is going to make it or not.

As night falls in full effect we head to Fangtasia and get to see the very annoying Tracy (From Tracy’s Togs) annoying Tara at the bar.  Turns out they used to go to school together and Tracy seems to have made it her life goal to just be as annoying and racist as hell (when she finds out Tara is a vampire she congratulates her on now being a member of 2 minorities).  She order s a drink and tells Tara she has given her the wrong one and makes a whole string of snide remarks all of which we see Pam (who looks STUNNING) listening in to.  As Tara is about to get well all Tara like with Tracy Pam rushes over and apparently tells Tara off and apologizes to Tracy but don’t worry, Pam has a plan.  Later we have Pam taking Tara downstairs for a little chat and we find that whilst in the bar Pam appeared to be siding with Tracy it was in fact all a front and Tracy is now a nice little blood whore, all chained up to the spinning contraption in the Fangtasia basement that hasn’t been seen being used for a while.  With a nice little glamour to turn Tracy into a completely willing Tara blood slave Pam’s work is done.  Did I mention I LOVE her??

Night fall apparently is also the time for the fight for Packmaster only JD has decided that they aren’t going to fight each other, or chase down an animal.  Instead he has kidnapped a local track star from the University and whichever of them catches and kills him first will be the new packmaster.  Well we all know Alcide won’t stand for that and so instead he steps down saying that he would rather forfeit than kill that kid.  Sadly JD has decided he is still going to hunt the boy down just because he can.  Lots more growling from Alcide and JD and then they both take off running into the woods after the poor scared track kid. JD gets there first but it is quickly Alcide to the rescue and the kid escapes safely.  The same cannot be said for Alcide though as JD beats the hell out of him and his life is only saved by Martha turning up and begging for it explaining that this is not for the best for the pack.  For whatever reason JD somehow agrees and all the wolves head off to celebrate leaving Martha and Rikki alone with the beat up Alcide.

Obviously at some point Arlene and Holly have decided that Lafayette’s time is worth the money, (and well let’s be honest here it isn’t like they have a whole lot of options open to them) because we get to see the séance complete with Terry and Patrick in attendance (tricked into attendance by being told that there was a fire).  The idea of just putting on a good show soon falls flat when Lafayette actually makes contact with the spirit in question and that spirit is not happy, and has no intention at all of forgiveness.  She does come up with an alternate plan though and that is that Terry will be left alone if he kills Patrick or Patrick can kill Terry.  Patrick obviously realises that things aren’t looking too good for him and he just takes off running!

Still trying to get home we see Hoyt on a road in the middle of nowhere and when a truck pulls up he says he is glad to see a friendly face, but then said face (we don’t know who but I am guessing one of his stupid vamp hating buddies) pulls a gun on him so we know he is in trouble.

Also in trouble (but somewhat of her own making) is Sookie who is drying her hair when she gets a not too friendly visit from the vampire (who seems to be masquerading as Freddie Krueger in his spare time).  The vampire appears as a spirit like face out of thing air and lets her know that he is coming for her.  Well that isn’t going to be anything good! I am guessing he doesn’t want to go out for dinner!

With night also comes more planning at Vampire headquarters.  Eric is trying to fulfil Godric’s wishes and get through to Nora but Nora is way too far gone.  She is convinced that they are on the path of Lilith and that Godric was mad at the end.  Now I was hoping with those two together might end up with a little more episode one type action but no such luck.  Poor Eric looks so sad at what Nora says *sigh* … I really wish he was more on board with the whole blood lust thing.

And to finish the episode we have a meeting of the remaining vamps who are working out the best way to squash the mainstreamers.  Russell is more interested in pursuing Steve than paying attention to the meeting much to Salome’s annoyance.  Russell is hilarious! He is really only interested in what he wants to do.  Eric seems to have decided on the keep your friends close but your enemies closer kind of role (possibly because they would just kill him otherwise although I don’t really understand why they haven’t already at this point … not that I am complaining) and is sitting in on the meeting when Bill comes up with the plan to destroy all the Tru Blood factories (apparently there are only 5) and that will force the mainstreamers to revert to their vampyric ways.  All the vampires at the table are thrilled by this so-called genius idea but Eric is not.  Will be interesting to see how this ends up playing out.

Overall not a bad episode.  I love the idea of the vampire going wild and treating all the humans as food but am not loving the fact that Bill is being portrayed as more vampire than Eric.  I suppose it fits in with him being weak and a sheep.  I am still bored with the whole wolf story but have to say that the shifter story this week with the skinwalking I did find entertaining and very well shot.

I am still loving Russell, the bad boy that he is and I am adoring the way that Pam is being portrayed.  The whole Terry thing that was annoying me was less annoying this week only because of how things with Lafayette were handled.  I love seeing Lala like this and hope that he remains this way for the rest of the season at least!

I would like to say I was curious about the whole new Sookie / vampire connection but honestly I am over the whole fae thing.  Perhaps the vampire connection will provide some interest but I am not holding my breath.

With only 4 episodes left I have the feeling that yet again we are going to be left with more questions than answers and I have to wonder if that is because Alan Ball himself hasn’t even worked out where he actually wants this to go ……………

V””V

Memorable Lines From Somebody I Used To Know

• Jason – “I’m fine …. you got me in the head”
• Russell – “God has the most beautiful tits I have ever seen”
• Russell – I have never been called devout. But watching Lilith shoot out of a blood pool while I sucked down a bride to the dulcet strains of ‘You Light Up My Life,’ well, praise Lilith! Praise Jesus! Praise Moses’ cock! I am born again!”
• Andy – “I know you got friends ….. dipshits like you grow in bunches”
• Andy – “I want names, I want addresses, and if I don’t get them, my tazer’s gonna ask your nuts to the big dance.”
• Jessica – “I wanted to love you, I even prayed for it to come back, but it just didn’t”
• Lafayette – “Hooker, I ain’t in the helping business no more, I’m in the ‘Fuck off while I smoke a blunt’ business, and business is about to pick way the fuck up.”
• Jason – ” I don’t give a twirly fuck about your elders”
• Tracy – “Now you are a member of 2 minorities”
• Pam – ” I apologize .. Tara is new .. and stupid”
• Pam – “You don’t know me that well …. My mad face and my happy face are the same.”
• Eric – “I have loved you for almost 600 years”
• Lafayette – “Terry Baby You Gots To Kill Patrick”

 

HBO Go – Extras

• 00.04 – A ‘True Blood’ First
• 02.13 – Shifter Temper (Video)
• 02.23 – Skinwalking 101
• 02.43 – Skinwalking 101
• 03.03 – Skinwalking 101
• 04.45 – Best Night Ever (Video)
• 07.35 – Becoming Luna (Video)
• 07.53 – Second Look : Redneck Vogue
• 07.59 – Jessica’s Vlog : What To Do
• 08.06 – Now Playing : Beneath Contempt performed by Flesh Field
• 09.40 – Russell Edgington : Role Model (Video)
• 10.56 – A Dangerous Drug (Video)
• 11.02 – Now Playing : Smokestack Lightening performed by Howlin’ Wolf
• 12.47 – The Real Salome (Video)
• 16.34 – The Greatest Gift (Video)
• 19.21 – Hoyt’s Anger (Video)
• 20.36 – Lafayette’s Ride
• 22.19 – True Story : Second Coming
• 23.54 – True Secret : Cobra Improv
• 24.44 – Double Trouble
• 27.45 – You Fucked My Best Friend
• 28.58 – Doomed From The Start (Video)
• 29.17 – Relive : Bad Breakups from Bon Temps
• 32.19 – First Draft : Vampire Sookie
• 33.06 – Claude-who?
• 33.53 – Now Playing : Die Slow performed by Health
• 34.04 – What’s She Doing?
• 36.02 – Racist White Trash (Video)
• 36.19 – True Story : Werewolf Chic
• 40.44 – The Original Godric
• 42.51 – True Secret : Seeing Double
• 44.48 – Vamp Vindication (Video)
• 47.37 – Eternal Optimist (Video)
• 48.40 – Witches vs Mediums
• 51.49 – My Way Or The Highway (Video)
• 52.40 – Who ARE You? (Video)

True Blood Season 5 Ep 7 In The Beginning Synopsis / Review V””V

Greetings and Salutations fellow True Blood fans!!  So here we are at Episode 7 … over halfway done already *Sob*.  Now this week’s synopsis will be a little different mainly because I feel like writing it that way :D. That and I had to go back and watch the whole season again to make sure I had all the Lilith stuff straight in my head direct from the show and not mixed in with my own research on the subject.   I also felt that most of the other occurrences in this week’s show were almost all filler and thus shall be treated as such … with all of that summarized at the beginning and then all the good vampy stuff after that.  Sound good? Well if not you know how to leave the page! 

 (Am leaving this here ….. because the information is the same … just the layout is a little different this week ….For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet.  I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

Right then here we go.  Just so that everyone isn’t wondering, at the beginning we find out that I was wrong and Roman has in fact met the True Death at the end of Russell’s stake and is now just a pile of GOO!  Nothing in that blood he had drunk did anything to help him and it was all just Alan Ball and extra effects because it was a dramatic moment.  Well OK then ….. Now that the cliffhanger is dealt with the rest of the vampy goodness will be at the end! So onto the rest of the happenings …..

Back in the fairy club Sookie was last seen getting zapped by a bunch of other fairies. Well it turns out they weren’t trying to hurt her but when we see her she is unconscious and they are testing her “luminescence” with Jason hovering around worrying about everything.  Turns out that because Sookie is only half fae her magic is finite and if she keeps using it she will lose all her powers altogether.  Info gathered she leaves and the rest of the episode about her is her getting advice (mainly from Sam) about whether she would be better off being “normal”.  Lots of debate and self searching about whether being different is a good or a bad thing and Sookie ends up at the end of the episode shooting her light rays into the sky like a random display of fireworks trying to get all of the “light” gone from inside her.  Hmmmmm still amazes me how much control she suddenly has over this.  What happened to it only working when she was in danger.  Whatever … I am over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina anyway!!!

Jason was visiting Jessica and gets irritated that she has been drinking a human and as he storms out of her house (not before she bites him and then him shooting Jessica in the head … .oh don’t worry she is fine … just a little angry) when he sees the “Fireworks” and is now heading over to stop her so we will see how that works out.  Wonder how they will get her recharged now the portals are closed to Fae … actually that was the first time I had wondered that because as I said … BORED!!!

Talking of bored we also have the whole “who is shooting the shifter” saga going on.  Sam is doing his “shifter” thing, rolling around on the floor and smelling stuff while Deputy Jones watches on wondering what the hell he is doing.  Sam manages to sniff out the box of masks that the shooters have been using confirming what we already knew that they were working with the guy from the Stake House.  The same guys that are currently hanging out with Hoyt (not as I suspected last week his friends from earlier in the season from the bar) and who have a nice little hate group going on that has a leader called Dragon that we are yet to meet.  Oh and Hoyt seems to have had no side effects from almost dying and getting soaked in vamp blood other than he is happy on board the hate train.  Whatever! He may change his mind when he finds out what the surprise for him is … not that we get to see this week but I am guessing it is going to be something to do with Jessica but not with all the guys …. because Sam just caught one of them working at the hospital.  Oops.  Maybe they should do a bit more research about shifters before they try to kill a couple and then turn up to work where they are being treated!! Stupid!!! Guess he will have to miss out on the whole surprise thing after all.

Oh and Andy takes a visit to go and see the ex Sheriff Bud Dearborn who is not interested in hearing anything that Andy says, or anything to do with police work.  He is busy having an affair and wants to just get in the hot tub.  Don’t really see the point of this at all so unless they are going to end up dead in the hot tub and it is being set up for that … I have no words.

Over with the wolves, Alcide is training for his Alpha fight with the V Addicted JD but his training seems to be more about flirting with his female second.  Ugh for a moment there I thought we were going to have to watch werewolf sex but we were saved by Martha walking in.  She refuses to believe that JD is on V but later in the show catches him trying to give it to Emma so now I am guessing she is going to be all about Alcide.  I will give her this … Martha certainly loves her granddaughter and really does seem to want what is best for her.  Ok enough about the wolves.  (Told you there was a lot of filler for this episode!)

Arlene is fussing over Terry being gone and is spending her work time watching their wedding video.  She is joined by Holly who reminds her that lots of things are not all they seem and that with all the things they have seen there is no reason to not believe in the iFrit that Terry is talking about. Meanwhile Terry and Patrick are out freezing in a field somewhere trying to avoid the whole iFrit thing which appears just to taunt them and then vanishes.  That is all  Terry needs and decides to shoot himself to be done with it. *Yawn*.  Patrick stops him saying that the kids wouldn’t want him to go out like that .  The only good thing about this video was that it was pretty funny and we got to see Jesus awwwwwww.

Talking of Jesus, Lafayette has gone to find the crazy grandpa Brujo  and finds himself tied up and his lips sewn up and about to become a sacrifice to give the magic back to crazy grandpa’s unborn child.  Luckily for Lafayette the unborn mother’s child is not too impressed by this whole idea and goes crazy stabbing crazy grandpa over and over until he is way past dead. She then calmly uses the knife to unpick the stitches holding Lala’s mouth closed … pick pick pick … well OK then!

Which reminds me, there is crazy up at Fangtasia and not in the normal way.  Tara is dancing on a pole much to Pam’s amusement (Pam with AWESOME hair this week can I add …. makes me want to go get the crimpers out!  Oh wait I can do one better …. CHECK OUT THIS HAIR lol)

But anyway the crazy involved was in fact Tara’s mother Lettie Mae who has come to let her daughter know what an embarrassment she is to her.  You have to be kidding right?  Well apparently not. Apparently Tara is now dead to her (big loss) but Tara lets her know that she will be seeing her again.  Poor Tara is not quite as tough as she makes out though as we see her confide to Pam in the office that it has made her sad and she rushes to Pam for a hug.  Pam is not quite sure how to deal with this so after a quick pat on the back tells her to get back on the pole.  Oh I love Pam!!!!

Now to the part that everyone has been waiting for. What is going on with the vampires? Well with Roman getting staked the remaining Authority members not clued in manage to sound the alarm and all hell breaks loose with vamps in special suits running around in near darkness showing us glimpses through their night vision.  Russell is on the attack but not killing anyone yet (although we do discover that he has secured Eric high up on a column with a silver bar).  They eventually snag Russell in a silver net but I get the feeling he almost let himself get caught.  It is obvious by now that there is a much bigger plan in place.

We see Eric and Bill back in the cells and they work out that obviously Russell wasn’t silvered but they are taking their time working out who it was.  First they try to blame Nora but work out she was incarcerated while Russell was being questioned, then they blame Molly because the iStake didn’t work but she is trying to work out why (and the fact that she was in a cell too should have been a big clue!) but it soon clicks into place when they are called up to see Nora and Salome, and a very happy Russell who is suddenly about forgive and move on.  Eric on the other hand is not moving on at all.  He is mad at Nora, mad at Russell, just plain mad in fact!

It becomes clear that as suspected Salome was behind Russell escaping but not as I suspected because she was his child.  It was all down to her following Eric and Bill the night they buried him.  Hmmm think my theory would have been better but Alan Ball hasn’t listened to me yet so it is unsurprising that he hasn’t started now.  It was all a big plan to get rid of Roman and Salome and Nora are convinced that this all comes from Lilith.  Russell just seems happy to go along with it but then we all know he is more than a little bit crazy and we love him for it.  Bill and Eric are not so convinced (really I expected Bill to jump right on that bandwagon) but for whatever reason this doesn’t get them killed but instead gets them an invitation to a special ceremony the next night.

This special ceremony turns out to be a lecture from Salome about how although the book says it is wrong to stake a guardian Lilith would forgive Russell because this guardian had turned his back on what was right.  Russell then jumps up to say how he takes back all the bad things he has said about Lilith and the religion (and let’s face it over the last couple of episodes that has been rather a lot) and he now loves and praises Lilith. The plan is that everyone will drink from the little vial of blood the Authority has been guarding for all these years which is supposedly the original blood of Lilith (although Roman was convinced it was symbolic).  Dieter is not on board with this calling it blasphemy and quickly earning himself a staking from Russell at which point no-one else seems to have any other objections.  As Eric tells Bill … it is vampire blood and we are vampires … it is not going to do anything……. Oh how wrong he was!!!!

The next thing we see is the crowd of vamps (which consists of Salome, Nora, Russell, Bill, Eric, Rosalyn, Kibwe, Nigel the baby eater, and Steve Newlin) tripping out and making their way down Main Street in New Orleans in what is possibly one of my favorite scenes.  The cast looks amazing and they are totally embracing their inner vamp, threatening a guy who makes the mistake of beeping his horn at them and letting him know that he is NOTHING!!!  Oh such fun!!!  This is the True Blood I want to watch!!!

The motley crew head into a bar where there is a karaoke style celebration going on.  Yes I know karaoke and celebration shouldn’t really be in the same sentence but whatever, things definitely improve when Russell gets up on stage to sing with her.  Someone in the crowd suddenly realizes who he is and that is all it takes for the chaos to begin. All the vamps zoom in and start killing everyone at the party!  Oh this is good!! Vampires finally being vampires but now here is where it all starts to get a little weird and I had to go back and watch the whole season to make sure I got all of this right before I started writing out my thoughts about it all.

So the vamps are all killing and feeding and there is blood everywhere and we get to see all the vamps suddenly look up as a single drop falls (apparently from nowhere) to the ground which ripples and forms a huge puddle of blood from which emerges a naked woman who can only be Lilith. In episode 3 they say “Lilith will rise from the blood” and I guess they meant this literally.  It would appear that the Sanguinista movement was in fact correct with their thoughts about what Lilith would want because she is apparently controlling all of the vampires in this feeding frenzy as she strolls through the bar in a way very reminiscent to me of Akasha in Queen Of The Damned.  All the vampires seem to be completely under her spell (love the look on Russell’s face as he obviously gladly submits to her “suggestion” but then suddenly Eric  is visited by Godric.  Maybe because Eric doesn’t believe in what he is doing, or maybe Godric really is still around in spirit from trying to guide him to make the right choices but either way we see Godric telling Eric this is wrong and that he has to help his sister because Nora thinks what she is doing is right. Now the interesting thing here for me was when Eric looks up again it seems that he can no longer see Lilith.  So is her manifestation actually there as we were first to believe, or is she in fact a hallucination from whatever that blood did.

Fascinating stuff!  I am not really sure where Alan Ball is going with all of this stuff but I for one am on board with the whole Sanguinista movement.  As for the rest of the storyline I am bored with them all already. Not really sure if even the writers know what their opinion is on the whole Lilith Deal.  Roman throughout his time did a politician style job of muddying the lines and then you have the extremists (Nora and Salome) and those that seem to be along for the ride because either it suits them (Russell) or perhaps they are just too weak and go where the power is (Rosalyn and Steve).  Over all I find that yet again they are trying to cram too many storylines in without giving the time that any of them deserve, not that I would like to see some of the other lines expanded, quite the opposite, I would like to do away with them all together.  Take us back to the early seasons where there were just a couple of things going on and go into them in-depth.  That would make for  a great deal of happy fans if you ask me!!!

V””V

Memorable Lines From In The Beginning

• Eric – “The View From Up Here Is Spectacular!”
• Jay-Bob – “Hate groups is about more than hate”
• Lafayette – “I is what I is”
• Alcide – “Your son doesn’t have a grave because you all ate him.”
• Luna – “I’m a raving lunatic bitch!”
• Jessica – “Yeah and I suppose you know every cow you’ve ever eaten.”
• Steve – “I am like a tree in the wind, I am just so happy to be included.”
• Eric – “Your heartbeat sounds like shit and your blood smells even worse.”
• Russell – “Awwwww you should worry about you!”

HBO Go – Extras

• 01.11 – Knock-Down, Drag-Out (Video)
• 01.19 – Russell’s Insanity
• 01.39 – Russell’s Insanity
• 01.59 – Russell’s Insanity
• 04.34 – Relive : Abnormal Life
• 05.33 – TMI, Coroner Spencer
• 07.19 – Hater Hideaway
• 08.52 – Under Her Spell
• 09.34 – Jessica’s Vlog : Confessions Of A Vampslut (Video)
• 11.28 – A Deadly Seduction
• 13.40 – Vampire Bling
• 15.01 – Second Look : Alcide’s Pecs
• 17.40 – True Secret : Were-pup Acting Notes
• 20.41 – Destination Wedding
• 22.08 – Fifth Times A Charm (Video)
• 24.11 – True Trivia : Early Retirement
• 24.16 – True Trivia : Early Retirement
• 27.46 – Job Perks (Video)
• 30,17 – One Of them (Video)
• 30.36 – Evolution Of A Friendship (Video)
• 30.41 – Now Playing : Nobody Nowhere performed by The Jezabels.
• 33.30 – Vamp Religion (Video)
• 35.21 – True Score : Body Count
• 35.42 – Who Is Lilith (Video)
• 36.19 – Tripping In New Orleans (Video)
• 37.35 – Tweet All About It (Video)
• 38.34 – Letting Go Of Lettie Mae (Video)
• 38.43 – Mommy Track
• 41.29 – True Score : Body Count
• 45.09 – Now Playing : You Light Up My Life performed by Willie Aron and Joey Peters
• 46.32 – True Score : Body Count
• 48.59 – A Gun To Your Head (Video)
• 49.14 – Emotional Consequences (Video)
• 52.26 – Magic Powers (Video)
• 53.49 – True Score : Body Count
• 56.08 – Now Playing : In The Beginning performed by K’Naan

True Blood Season 5 Ep 6 Hopeless Synopsis / Review V””V

Greetings and Salutations fellow True Blood fans!!  Can you believe we are  half way through Season  already???  Insanity!!! So without further ado let’s get on to this week’s Episode 6 – Hopeless. (For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet.  I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines).

At the end of Last week all hell was breaking loose with Alcide being dragged off and Russell not as incapacitated as he was leading people to believe and this week picks up right where it left off (with the 10 minutes we SHOULD have gotten LAST week!!!) Wolves attacking from everywhere, jumping out of the morgue drawers (note Alan Ball must have felt right at home … anyone else recognize the 6ft under set??), distracting Eric and Bill while Russell confronts Sookie (sadly only to get blasted with her microwave fingers yet again).

With the wolves taken care of (a couple dead and one running off into the night), Eric prepares to stake Russell only to be stopped by Bill who reminds him that Russell may be their only chance for survival.  Eric doesn’t look like he cares but the Authority squad turn up (Lead by Kibwe)  and take over.  As the Authority drags off a very unhappy Russell other Authority question Eric and Bill as to why the human and the wolf (Sookie and Alcide)  are there and eventually they decide to glamour them.  Now we all know that Glamour doesn’t work on little Miss Fairy Fingers but is Sookie really so stupid that it takes a signal from both Bill and Eric for her to act like she is going along with it? *Rolls eyes*.  I have to say though that Eric Glamouring Alcide was awesome! Especially when he added that Alcide would die to protect her but would no longer find her attractive … in fact he would find her repulsive.  Oh Eric you are so naughty!! 😀  Bill on the other hand gives Sookie this long drawn out story about having her life in the light blah blah blah and the tears fall (from Sookie) … Oh please let’s move on already!

The Authority is busy dealing with the room full of “food humans” and Doug who just want to forget that it all happened.  They want to be glamoured and are assured that this will be the case once they have all been interrogated about what they know.  Now personally I would be feeling a little nervous at the idea of interrogation but they all seem quite happy with it. Stupid humans!

Alcide and Sookie head home with Sookie sobbing her little heart out (yet again) and Alcide very confused as to 1 why she is crying, and 2 where the hell they are.  Stupid wolf! Eric and Bill on the other hand are getting into another van to head back to Authority Headquarters when they are informed that no one actually expected they would be able to capture him.  Bill becomes a total suck up and joins in the whole Lilith decreed it crap *rolls eyes* but Eric makes me laugh because he simply says that Lilith can blow him! Oh Eric it is so nice to see you not being a sheep! Of course if the Authority guy had overheard he would probably have had his iStake activated but he didn’t so all was well.  Kibwe was too busy dealing with yet another van this time filled with the “food” humans and Doug.  After making sure they are all strapped in safely with their seatbelts he kills them all!  Blood everywhere! Oh we weren’t expecting that.  This was my first clue that all is really not well in Authority World with first Nora, then the Alex kid and now Kibwe?? and that something big is going on… and I was right .. as we see later!

Back at Fangtasia the Tara  / Jessica girl fight is in full flow with Tara clearly winning (can I stress AGAIN how wrong this is!!! There is just NO WAY that Jessica would be losing even by Alan Ball’s own rules Grrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!) ….. until the fight moves into the main bar and Pam puts a stop to it after Tara tells Jessica not to come into HER house.  Wow Tara, getting a bit ahead of yourself there???  Pam drags Tara off by the hair for a couple of lessons in reality, namely it is PAM’S house and Tara just works there.  She does let Tara know though that she is proud of her …. just like people are proud of their dogs. 

Hoyt sadly saw the whole thing and he seems to have taken this as proof that Jessica is still in love with him.  Jessica takes this opportunity to point out that he looks ridiculous and that no matter what he says they are never going to be back together,  Hoyt does not take this rejection well as we see later on hen he gets himself into all sorts of trouble.

Now last we saw Luna and Sam things were looking pretty bleak for them but apparently someone found them because first we see them tonight they are being rushed through a hospital corridor oh and can I just say that whilst I understand they can’t use real nurses etc could they please at least PRETEND they are actually providing medical treatment.  Worst example of giving an injection ever.  My 4 year old god-daughter could have given a more convincing performance.  So Luna is yelling for Emma, Sam is trying to get off his stretcher to get to Luna, and we skip over to see little puppy wolf Emma at her grandmother Martha’s door.  Smart puppy!!!

Sookie and Alcide obviously made it back to Sookie’s house with our next scene showing Alcide waking up in a bed that is WAY too small for him and surrounded by fluffy pink covers.  Hilarious!  He heads downstairs to find Sookie sitting at the table drinking coffee.  As he goes to get his own cup he gets flashbacks of the night before but only leading up to him and Sookie in the bedroom.  As the glamouring prevents him from knowing what happens next he has to ask if they ended up sleeping together.  Sookie explains that they didn’t but that a lot of other stuff did happen.  When she reaches to touch his hand he pulls back in disgust but has no idea why.  Sookie quickly figures it out and after swearing about Eric grabs his hand and “forces” all his memories back.  Now seeing as the night before when she had to do that with Doug she wasn’t even sure she could so it she seems to have very quickly mastered that technique and gives Alcide all his memories back in just a quick second. Hmmmm not very convincing if you ask me.  Surely it should be much harder messing around in a werewolf head than in a human’s?  Regardless Alcide remembers all and is seriously pissed off, starts bitching about wolves and Russell and V  and storms out leaving Sookie to say she is going to stay there and slip into a coma.  Oh get over it already Sookie!! What happened to spunky Book Sookie from last week?  That didn’t last long *sigh*!

Over at the hospital Sam and Luna are causing plenty of trouble for the poor nurse trying to take care of them.  As they are trying to work out who would want to kill shifters Martha comes in with Emma and they all come to an uneasy truce as Martha promises to keep Emma safe while they try to find out what is going on.  Sam teams up with Andy to try and discover what is going on and Sam obviously discharges himself from the hospital as the next thing we know they are off on a trip at the “Stake House”.

Andy goes in first and tries to get some information from the same crazy guy that hit on Sookie when she went to get the silver “Febreeze” spray things.  As Andy is questioning him Sam comes in and starts wandering around the shop and arouses a lot of suspicion from the guy behind the counter who bends down to supposedly get some bullets to show Andy but is in fact going for a gun.  Sam shoots him with a nearby crossbow saying that he “smelled him go into survival mode” and Andy is grateful that Sam saved his life.  Sam makes it clear that the clerk is one of the guys that was involved in the shooting but nobody is going to get any info out of him now.

Lafayette is visiting Ruby Jean having received a call that she had had a seizure.  Ruby explains about her vist from Jesus and as I suspected last week Jesus’ grandfather is behind it all.  Ruby Jean is so fantastic in this scene.  I adore her.  I hope we get to see a bit more of her this season! She tells Lafayette that she doesn’t know how she knows what she knows but she always has and she has always seen things that she doesn’t even know what they are.  And that is it for them for this week but previews show there is more Jesus news next week!

Next we head to Merlotte’s where Sookie has obviously decided to go to work after all.  She is having a nice little bitch about men with Arlene and Holly (who isn’t really joining in except to point out that Andy is different *rolls eyes*) when Jason comes in to tell her about their parents and the magic fairy club where he saw Hadley.  At first Sookie thinks Jason is back on the V but she soon realizes he is telling her the truth and with her bad memories of the fairy world so she decides that they need to go and rescue Hadley and Hunter from the evil fairy clutches!

While we are here we might as well deal with the whole Terry / Ifrit thing going on.  That can be summed up very quickly as is a very dull story so far.  After the smoke monster killed their friend Patrick actually sees it come after them and is now a believer.  After a road trip during which Terry throws himself out the moving car, and a whole lot of useless discussion they decide they are both damned and that the monster is coming for them and all they love.  Terry comes to see Arlene to tell her goodbye and she thinks he has gone off his meds and suggests he checks himself in for treatment.  Terry insists that if he stays they are all in danger including her and the kids so she tells him if he really believes that he has to go.  So he does.  Bored of this story already!!!!

Talking of stories I am bored of Alcide goes off to see the pack now that he knows they are involved with Russell again.  Turns out not all the wolves know but JD (Martha’s partner) is the ringleader and was the wolf that attacked Alcide at the insane asylum.  Seems he has taken over the role of packmaster but Alcide has come to put an end to it.  He challenges JD and JD lets him know he needs a second.  The girl who captured Sam originally stands as Alcide’s second so at some point int he future there will obviously be a fight but it isn’t tonight. Alcide ends up leaving  soooooooo we will see what happens there next week I guess.

Eric and Bill have been taken back to Authority headquarters where all the council is waiting for them (minus Roman) and they get to have their iStakes removed.  Salome has been busy interrogating Russell apparently and where she has been on my list as a “maybe” for releasing Russell and turning Steve for me she just rose right to the top in this scene. As Salome tries to leave to go back to “silver Russell” Roman walks in and brings her back with him and he has a very expensive bottle of blood with him. An 18th Century Austrian Hemophiliac bottle of blood which he is the only one to drink from despite offering it around.  Roman is rabbiting on about how wonderful it all is and says that he now knows that Bill and Eric are with him.  Bill jumps right on board but Eric very carefully words his answers without giving in to Roman’s every whim.  So glad our viking is back! As Roman says he really is too cool for school!  As Salome tries to leave again Roman tells her not to bother.  He doesn’t care about anymore of Russell’s lies and he will be executing him tonight.  And then you see on Salome’s face, even though she tries to hide it, she is up to no good.  Roman sadly is too caught up in his own self-approval and just agrees to let Salome go and silver him before bringing him up to be executed but tells her to fit him with an iStake. So off she goes and Eric asks for permission to see Nora and admits that she is his sister. Roman agrees (he really is in a good mood) as long as Eric is back for the execution.

Outside Fangtasia we get to see the trouble Hoyt has bought upon himself.  He is being drained by a random vamp who says his heart is slowing right down but Hoyt doesn’t care.  As he is probably about to die a van pulls up and those crazy men in the president masks appear and shoot the vamp right through the heart causing him to explode all over Hoyt!  Now the interesting part, these people seem to know Hoyt.  I am guessing they are the rednecks from Merlottes that were so rude to Jason at the beginning of the season when they were all having lunch there. Now how much blood do you think it would take to “turn” someone? Hoyt was dying and he just swallowed some vamp blood ….. wonder what will happen there.  Probably nothing. Just me and my over active brain again …. but thought I would mention it anyway.

Meanwhile Jason has taken Sookie to the big empty field to try and find the Fairy night club.  As they wander around Sookie can “hear” that something is there but can’t see it until suddenly she disappears inside.  Jason is yelling for her when she pops back out and drags him in too.  I have to say I think I could quite happily go and hang out at this place with its amazing dancers and crazy outfits everywhere.  Not quite Fangtasia but as Pam would say it would do in a pinch!  Once inside Sookie quickly finds Hadley and then gets hugged by Claude who she doesn’t remember from helping her escape Fae at the beginning of season 4 but he remembers her.  He explains that they have adapted their looks to this reality’s idea of beauty. At Hadley’s insistence he explains their version of the truth of what happened to Sookie’s parents.  Apparently a vampire was drawn to their car on the bridge by a blood spotted band-aid in the back of the car which of course was Sookie’s fairy blood.  We have no idea who that vampire is and Sookie doesn’t want to hear any of it and tries to blast Claude with her microwave fingers only to discover they are sputtering and on the fritz.  The rest of the club is unamused by her attack and a whole bunch of them turn their fairy light rays on her! Wonder what Fairy on Fairy action does.  Guess we will have to wait until next week to find out.

Eric has finally got his wish and he gets to see his sister Nora who seems to be ignoring everything as she prays over and over to Lilith.  Hmmmm can we please have back sexy Nora from episode 1? I miss her! As Nora is chanting Salome walks past with Russell and guards and tells her that they are about to execute him.  This seems to break Nora’s spell and she is suddenly very happy although still not making a whole lot of sense.  Eric does manage to get out of her that she wasn’t the one to free Eric but then I think by now we have all worked out who it actually was. Right?

In the meeting room Roman is trying to conduct a nice orderly execution but Russell is having none of that.  Oh Russell I have missed you! To shut him up Roman activates the iStake and … NOTHING HAPPENS!!!! Mwahahahaha oh Roman you got played! Russell jumps up and quick as a flash pins Roman to the table and is above him holding a stake. Roman is strong but not strong enough and Russell plunges the stake into him!! A single tear flows down Salome’s cheek and everyone else just looks kind of shocked and after a close up of a very surprised Roman’s distorting face, Russell’s face splattered with blood, and then we are left for the week with a final image of Nora…. Arm’s stretched wide as she kneels on the floor saying “praise her!”.

Now here is what I think.  I do not think Roman is dead.  He was a very old vamp and should, by Alan Ball’s own rules, have exploded in a big goo gush. But he didn’t.  Instead we saw a weird distorting face and just a small amount of blood.  I think that weird blood that he drank earlier is going to have saved him somehow.  Now I may be wrong, as Alan Ball hasn’t hesitated to change the rules as it suits him but I really don’t think they would have signed on Christopher Meloni for a 5 episode arc .. well we will see (Although according to the last video on HBO Go Roman is gone … but I don’t always trust those either lol).

I have also been trying to work out how Salome was able to find Russell and I have decided I think he was her maker!  The age would fit (Russell is over 3000 years old so plenty of time for him to have sired a biblical character.  That would explain how she was able to find him if he never actually released her.  Wonder how that will play out in the weeks to come.

Overall I think this was one of my favorite episodes so far.  Of course I adore having Russell back but also I enjoyed seeing Eric back to the viking I adored from Season 1.  Let’s hope he stays that way. If they could  just do away with the whole iFrit thing and bring back Book Sookie from last week things would really be on a roll!!! …..

V””V

Memorable Lines From Hopeless

• Russell – “You’re just what the Dr ordered my twee fairy vixen”
• Pam – “Made me proud – Proud the way a human is proud of a well-trained dog.”
• Russell – “You idiots …. you are no better than humans with your absurd magical thinking … there is no Lilith!!”
• Russell – “You may as well be praying to leprechauns or unicorns or the mother fucking Kardasians!!!”
• Hoyt – “I am exercising my constitutional right to be a dirty fangbanger!”
• Eric – “Lilith can fucking blow me!”
• Arlene – “I’m not Sookie, I can’t read your mind”
• Russell – “I want to gorge on human blood, not because some fucking bible tells me to but because I like it! It’s fun! It makes my dick hard!”
• Russell – “Peace is for Pussies!!!! ”

HBO Go – Extras

• 00.43 – Russell’s Last Drink
• 01.29 – Dances With Wolves (Video)
• 01.39 – Fatal Attraction
• 01.49 – Fatal Attraction
• 01.59 – Fatal Attraction
• 03.01 – Now Playing : Broken Bones performed by Acumen Nation
• 03.16 – Vamp Girl Fight (Video)
• 04.10 – Looking For Approval (Video)
• 06.17 – True Secret : The Morgue
• 08.40 – Bill and Sookie’s Goodbye (Video)
• 08.53 – Risky Business (Video)
• 09.45 – True Story : Fangbanger Style
• 11.20 – Hoyt’s Breaking Point (Video)
• 12.58 – True Trivia : Traitors In Our Midst
• 13.03  – True Trivia : Traitors In Our Midst
• 14.31 – Jason’s New Purpose (Video)
• 16.39 – Alpha Wolf
• 19.55 – Now Playing : Partners in Crime performed by Doozy
• 22.33 – Ruby Jean and Jesus
• 24.09 – Scared Stiff (Video)
• 24.14 – Now Playing : Say Goodnight performed by Five2
• 24.48 – Sisterhood (Video)
• 25.34 – Relive Supernatural Disasters (Video)
• 27.15 – Picking On Sam (Video)
• 31.24 – Vampire Bubbly
• 33.20 – Another Side Of Roman (Video)
• 34.35 – Ancient Loyalty (Video)
• 36.45 – Now Playing : Reaching For Salvation performed by Sugaray
• 39.55 – Now Playing : Aberdeen performed by Orb Melon
• 40.12 – Off His Meds (Video)
• 41.05 – Now Playing : I Got It (What You Need) performed by Galactic
• 41.47 – Faerie Club Fanatic (Video)
• 42.44 – True Story : Supplying The Stake House
• 44.52 – Love For The Stake House (Video)
• 45.49 – Faerie Fashion Secrets
• 47.38 – Sookie’s Responsibility (Video)
• 50.49 – The Fall Of Roman (Video)

True Blood Season 5 Ep 5 Let’s Boot and Rally Synopsis / Review V””V

Greetings and Salutations fellow True Blood fans!!  Can you believe we are almost half way through Season  already???  Insanity!!! So without further ado let’s get on to this week’s Episode 5 – Let’s Boot and Rally and what went on! (For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet.  I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines)

At the end of last week’s episode we left a very drunk Sookie and slightly less drunk Alcide getting hot and heavy and that is where tonight’s episode starts off.  Now all you furverts out there I am sure you would  have LOVED to have seen some wolfie action but for me what happened next was far more entertaining! Whilst they do in fact make it to the bedroom, Alcide looks at Sookie and says I have waited so long for this, to which Sookie gives him a longing look ….. and then vomits all over his feet!  Oh I laughed so hard I had tears!!!!! FANGTASTIC!!!!  Even better, Eric and Bill appear in the doorway just in time for Eric to comment on how well Alcide treats a lady!! LOVE IT!!!!

They head downstairs for a nice little “chat” and the plan seems to be Sookie looking inside Doug’s head (the parking lot attendant that works for Alcide) to see if she can force her way past the glamour and discover who in fact freed Russell.  Sookie is not convinced she can do it and all 3 males decide they are Alpha which provides a cutish moment with still semi drunk Sookie peeking through her fingers and seeing them all just barking at each other which causes her to have a fit of giggles and say the line that has been floating around the previews for weeks …. A 3000 year old vampire wants to suck my blood …. must be Thursday! … which would have been funnier if she had said Sunday but whatever.  And off our little search party goes …….

On the other side of Bon Temps poor Lafayette is not coping too well with the demon inside him.  he is freaking out that he could have killed Sookie and decides the best course of action is to talk to all his little religious figures.  Sadly for him they all decide now is a good time to talk back and they don’t have anything encouraging to say so Lafayette smashes them all to the floor and stomps on them telling that he is a good person (possibly not the best way to prove this) and he continues stomping and ranting until the pieces are just too small to answer back.  He pleads with Jesus to give him a sign because he needs some help but believe me he may regret asking for a sign from Jesus late this episode!

Out in the middle of nowhere Terry and Patrick are still being held captive by the crazy guy in the hole and Terry realizes that maybe this trip was not such a great idea.  Really?  You think so Terry?? I could have told you that BEFORE you left but then I watched the spoilers :D.  We get to see more flashbacks as to what happened and long story short (as this storyline is boring me) is that there is a fire demon curse called an IFrit which was called by one of the women they killed as she lay crying over her son.  Terry admits that he believes in it too and Brian releases him and Patrick but Patrick thinks it is plan by terry and promptly knocks Brian out and ties him to a chair despite Terry’s pleas.  Of course as soon as Patrick and Terry leave the IFrit appears and burns Brian to death and you know it is going after Terry and Patrick next.

Now Jason and Andy as you may recall got “Fairy zapped” at the tail end of last week’s episode and we start to see what this may have meant as Jason “Wakes Up” wearing some very sexy He Man pajamas on Christmas Day with his parents and a very young Sookie.  The facade soon fades though as they are eating breakfast and his parents necks start bleeding from obvious vampire bites. When Jason mentions something his mother suggests he might rather have sex to make him feel better at which point Jason’s cell phone rings in the “real world” and wakes him up. It is Rosie about work and we get to see that Jason is naked as he goes to get ready for work.  Also naked is Andy Bellefleur passed out on the couch and discovered by Arlene who gets to see far more than she would like to.  His phone is also ringing but we don’t get to see any weird dreams from him which is fine with me as we seem to be seeing far more of Andy this season than anyone EVER really needs to see!

So Jason and Andy have been called to investigate the shootings of Sam’s friends and Andy makes it quite clear to Jason he does not want to discuss any of the whole fairy stuff.  He also is not too impressed to learn from Sam that the victims are shifters too not that the information is going to help with the investigation any. Poor Andy is just on supernatural overload between this and the fairies although his main concern seems to be Holly finding out about his little one night stand with Morella.

After some actual investigating they find a silver filled, wooden bullet in a tree which leads Sam to suspect that perhaps these people are after supernatural creatures, maybe even vamps.  After all we have all seen what a wooden bullet can do (remember Franklin??).  Now so far we haven’t really seen much about who else might know about supes other than vampires but it looks like Mr Ball has a plan up his sleeve to reveal something new.  A little nod to the books perhaps with the shifter shootings??  Jason is now obsessing over all the supernatural killings that may have been going on without “humans” having any idea about it and everything just being written off.

Back at Fangtasia Pam has leant Tara some fabulous clothes and a very unimpressed Tara is put to work at the bar.  Now this “hard ass” Tara is already annoying me.  I think she is even more annoying now as a vampire than she was as a human and that takes some doing! Even Pam’s interactions with her are not as appealing this week with Tara generally just being stupid and within 5 minutes of being behind the bar Pam has to stop her from draining a human.  Really?  Is Tara THAT stupid? Pam gives her the lecture just as Jessica walks in which leads to a little girl bonding between the younger vamps with Jessica explaining all the good parts about being a vampire.  After all she too was turned without consent and as she says she had to put up with Bill as her maker … at least Tara got Pam!!  Towards the end of the little interlude Tara seems as though she may be starting to see that this doesn’t have to be the end of the world after all.

Our little search party has picked up Doug and Sookie manages to get enough information out of Doug’s head to allow Bill and Eric to work out that it was a female Authority member that freed Russell and of course Bill immediately  suspects Nora ; who is currently still doing her little prayer routine about how the warriors of Lilith will be coming despite the Authority keep attacking her with the UV.  Talking of the Authority, they are bored with waiting and decide that having tracked Bill and Eric and they apparently benign activity, that they will have until dawn to find Eric or their iStakes will be activated.  Molly (we met her when she fitted the stakes) gets to call and give Bill and Eric the news that their countdown has been activated.and lets just say they are none too happy about it but we do get to see a test of the ap which causes their iStakes to glow.

With Sookie taking directions straight from poor Doug’s head (who still isn’t remembering any of it) the five of them head towards the place where Russell has been staying.  We get to see flashes through Doug’s eyes as to how Russell was moved (apparently carried by the poor unsuspecting Doug) and they pull up to what looks to be an abandoned insane asylum (rather fitting).  We finally get to see a spark of “Book Sookie” as she takes charge and insists on going in as she points out that she is the one with the microwave fingers which is the only thing that seems to have worked so far against Russell and perhaps more importantly for her she needs to pee!

Whilst all that is going on Salome takes us to that secret room at the back of the Authority meeting room as we discover the Guardian there looking at a vial of blood which is supposed to be the original blood of Lilith.  Whilst I applaud Mr Ball for the idea of the history I have to say I am rather over the whole Authority thing now.  Bring on Russell and let the fun and games begin.  Roman rabbits on about how even he finds his routines to be a farce blah blah blah, honestly neither of these people hold me attention on screen and what they have to say seem to has very little effect on anything anyway so really they are just taking up valuable screen time.

Back at the asylum poor Doug looks as though he is about to pee his pants at any minute and Alcide notes that wolves have been there which is not really a surprise as Bill points out – they come with Russell.  Following a trail of rats and body parts (and a little more guidance from Doug) they find the room filled with bodies that have obviously provided the food for Russell’s recovery.  We also get to see a vampire equivalent of a walk in fridge with a bunch of still alive humans hanging in straight jackets from hooks all apparently just waiting to be eaten. Now don’t get me wrong, they don’t seem very happy about this and it is about the last straw for Doug who ends up cowering in the corner, but it does amuse me that none of the search party think to help them down and just leave to continue searching for Russell.

At Fangtasia Tara is on a break and runs into Gothed out Hoyt who apparently hasn’t been tortured enough yet and Hoyt tires to get Tara to bite him.  It seems as though Tara is going to do the right thing and tells him to go home to his mother but moments later we flash to the Fangtasia bathroom where Tara is chowing down….. with Jessica doing the same thing to a girl in the next stall!! So Jessica hears Hoyt and totally freaks out and here is where it gets totally ridiculous! Mr Ball needs to work out what his rules are going to be AND STICK TO THEM!!  A couple of weeks ago Jessica dominated in a fight with Steve Newlin who was made by one of the original Authority members and let us not forget that she was trained quite extensively to fight werewolves.  So tell me this … how on earth is Tara, a real newborn babyvamp not only holding her own but apparently giving Jessica a good fight??  Just doesn’t make any sense what so ever!  VERY ANNOYING!!! I have thought about it and tried to find a way that this could happen but there just isn’t one, other than inside Mr Ball’s crazy little head!

Brief time out for some seriously messed up stuff now.  Lafayette wakes up to a vision of Jesus’ head with mouth sewn shut sitting on his dresser obviously trying to ell him something.  Remember I told you Lafayette may not want the sign from Jesus after all.  My guess is that remember his body was missing when Lala and Sookie went to bury it? I am going to say that Jesus’ crazy grandfather has it, probably summoned somehow when that demon was released, and is using it for some bad voodoo!  If not him then it would appear we have more magic and mystery to come.  Perhaps even more strange is that Ruby Jean gets to see the same vision but she can somehow understand what he is saying and promises to get the message to Lafayette.  Sadly her way of doing this seems to be to just yell at Lala who is nowhere near her current location.  Let’s hope that somehow she works out that she needs a phone!

Sam has been released from the crime scene and rushes over to Luna’s to tell her what is going on.  Despite her insisting that it is a bad time when she hears what happens she invites him in and he fills her in.  As he goes to leave he is walking across the yard truck pulls up filled with people in president’s masks (Anyone else get a Point Break flashback here?) and one of them shoots Sam in the stomach and he falls to the ground.  The shot obviously alerts Luna who comes rushing out and then she gets shot twice, once in the arm and once in the stomach and she falls to the ground just as Emma comes running out but Sam yells at her to run and she changes into her little wolf cub and takes off while the men in the truck are still taking shots but we see her escape.  the camera pans out to show Sam and Luna on the ground and it looks as though Luna is dead and Sam is not far behind (although I doubt they will kill him off … Luna … well who knows)… and the truck drives off.

A brief boring quick flash to Roman babbling on about how should they be willing to extend the idea of Lilith to try and prevent a war blah blah blah …. basically should he listen to Salome and bend a little seeing as several members of his little elite group have been lost already.  Whatever! After a long speech he basically says no and that they will continue as they were.

Finally we get to the moment we have all been waiting for … we get to see Russell, apparently healed and witty as ever.  Not in the least intimidated by Eric standing over him and in fact he seems quite pleased to see Sookie.  He tells Eric to “give it his best shot” and Alcide disappears grabbed by something which causes a distraction and here I am thinking OOOOH we still have over 10 minutes left .. this should be good … AND IT ENDS!!!! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT??? NOT KEWL AT ALL!!!! Grrrrrrrrr

And so we have to wait another week! What is up with Jesus appearing as a head?  Is Luna dead? Which Authority member released Russell …. oh yes and that other stuff with Jason, Andy, Terry etc too.  Oh and I suppose I should throw Tara in as well but Mr Ball seems to be letting her get away with everything so enough said about that!

V””V

Memorable Lines From Let’s Boot and Rally

• Lafayette – “Compared to all the evil out there, I am good enough, Better than most!”
• Sookie – “A 3000 year old vampire wants to suck my blood …. must be Thursday!”
• Sookie – “Do you mind terribly if I take a little peek inside your head?”
• Jessica – “We will be young – forever”
• Sookie – “First of all I have seen enough horror movies to know you don’t split up when you are in a big scary asylum and there is a crazy killer on the loose!”
• Andy -“Wooden bullets kill shifters?” Sam – “Sure but so do regular bullets”.
• Eric – “New York City smells like pee and the people are rude”

HBO Go – Extras

• 00.19 – Alcide loses his shirt in …… 3
• 00.24 – Alcide loses his shirt in……..2
• 00.29 – Alcide loses his shirt ….now!
• 01.00 – You Make Me Sick (Video)
• 01.19 – Sook-Ups : Bill
• 01.39 – Sook-Ups : Eric
• 03.58 – The Demon Inside (Video)
• 04.59 – True Love : He-Man Jammies
• 05.54 – Relive : Jason’s weird dreams (Video)
• 06.05 – Who Is Rosie?
• 08.49 – Must Be Thursday (Video)
• 09.14 – All Dolled Up (Video)
• 09.47 – Love (Video)
• 10.44 – Or Hate (Video)
• 11.34 – True Secret : Emaciated Russell
• 14.33 – True Blood Shrine
• 17.31 – The Oxford Supernatural Dictionary
• 21.11 – Did That Just Happen (Video)
• 22.23 – Now Playing : Rescue performed by Echo and the Bunnymen
• 22.31 – Snoop inside Fangtasia
• 25.29 – Relive : Vamp Angst (Video)
• 25.59 – BVFs (Video)
• 26.08 – No Happy Endings (Video)
• 29.39 – These Bros Go Way Back (Video)
• 30.50 – Russell’s Wolves
• 32.39 – True Secret : Rat Wrangling
• 33.53 – An Easy Target (Video)
• 34.17 – Jessica’s Vlog : Big Vampire Sisters (Video)
• 37.55 – IFrit Bait (Video)
• 38.54 – True Trivia : Lafayette’s Mom
• 38.59 – True Trivia : Lafayette’s Mom
• 39.04 – True Trivia : Lafayette’s Mom
• 43.11 – Bang (Video)
• 45.57 – He’s Back (Video)

 

50 Shades And My Seemingly Ever Increasing Desire To Lobotomize The Sheep!! V””V

As I flick through this week’s copy of Entertainment Weekly I was disgusted to see that the 50 Shades Trilogy is taking up the top FOUR spaces on the New York Best Selling paperbacks list.  How, you might ask is this possible with only 3 books in the series but wait, they are counting the “All 3 books in 1” volume as a separate book!! Ridiculous!

Add to that pretty much every other status and picture on Facebook seem to have something to do with either the book, what they would like to do with characters in the book, or who they would like to play the characters in a movie, I am about to explode!  Perhaps watching From Hell (with the gorgeous Ivan from Being Human playing a crazed Dr lobotomizing people) was not such a good idea because I am finding the idea more and more appealing!

It is being described as “Mommy porn”.  Well what does that even mean?  There are no mommy characters in it?  Is it because the main character needs a smack? Oh wait he likes to do the smacking, except when he doesn’t.  The scene’s that are supposed to be so shocking pale in regard to many books that I have read over the years, Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty trilogy, any of the later Laurell K Hamilton Anita Blake books, Jeaniene Frost, Yasmine Galenorn.  The list could go on but you don’t see libraries threatening to pull them from their shelves or comments everywhere about their effect on people’s sex lives.

What is this mass market appeal that is totally mind washing even people whom I have known for years and would normally have considered that their taste ran to far superior writing.  So I ask again, what am I missing?  There sure as hell isn’t anything that I consider even mildly erotic in there.  I feel that it is poorly written and from a woman who I doubt has ever had anything other than missionary position, vanilla sex in her life and from the raving going on neither have the people who are expressing such ravishing praise about it.

A friend recently told me that they would be scared to be in my head and discover what goes on in there.  They actually said that they wondered if my bedroom would put the infamous red room to shame.  Well my readers whilst I can assure you that this is not the case I can also let you know that real trust in a partner does not come written on a piece of paper but from shared desire and experience and if it doesn’t fit in with the majority view of what is “normal” well that is just fine with me.  Normal has never been a word that would work to describe me anyway.

I live in a darkness that few will ever understand and many would rather not think about but that is OK .  I like it here and I have my husband who stops me taking that final step that may plunge me ever downward so far from reality that I would never find my way back.  I have my select friends who know the real me and don’t find it strange that I would take them to a shop where whips and chains are just the beginning and that I would fall in love with a beautifully crafted whip made from the softest elk hide to the extreme that I must have touched it 100 times whilst there (sadly the $259 price tag insisted I left it behind).

And so to all the sheep out there with their constant reminders to me about how great this book is …… is it really? or are you being shepherded along with the masses sharing the opinions that to me make no sense, because it is easier than forming your own?  Do you really find that erotic and compelling? If so I go back to my heading and would like to offer you a lobotomy.

*Mwah* V””V

 

True Blood Season 5 Ep 4 We’ll Meet Again Synopsis / Review V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans, Firstly let me apologize AGAIN for the delay in this weeks posting.  Life here has been a little hectic with it being the 4th of July week (not that I personally celebrate) and my husband being home ….. But I am here now and ready to go with Episode 4, We’ll Meet Again! (For those you of new to my spoiler reviews there is a LOT of detail as some people read them from other countries that can’t get to see the episode yet.  I also list my favorite memorable lines at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use), and new for this year as HBO Go has added online extras while you watch I have added in the time stamps for each of them : Listed after the memorable lines)

At the end of last week’s episode we had Tara trying to cook herself to death on a tanning bed and we saw Pam being very unimpressed by everything going on.  that doesn’t stop her from rushing down to the tanning parlor to save Tara through making very good use of her “maker” powers to overcome Tara’s desire to do herself in.  Even as she issues the order she is dripping with sarcasm and I love it!  Pam this season is her best so far and as many of you know I have been Team Pam from the beginning!

Back in Shreveport and Bill and Eric have been released by the Authority to go and search for Russell and as they quite accurately remember the list of suspects is rather short with only 4 of them (that we know of) being aware of Russell’s burial spot.  So they head to the most logical (in their eyes) person on the list Pam, and they take up residence in Fangtastia to await her return. When she does she is none to happy that everything is locked up as she yells at Ginger that they are still meant to be open!!!!   She quickly changes her tune when she walks in to see Eric there although recovers quickly to say that she doesn’t expect an apology and they should just forget all about it … let Bygones be bygones .. and bi girls be bi girls …. LOVE PAM!!! (Did I say that already??)  Especially love Pam’s face when she sees Bill and can barely force out a civil “Hi” and then has to explain that Tara is now hers and congratulations on being a Grandfather 😀

Tara leaves with Bill to go to the office so Pam and Eric can chat and we get to see a little more into how Tara is dealing with everything.  Is it me or has her accent become ridiculous since she became a vampire? Bill tries to empathize (Yawn) but Tara points out she can’t do it again anyway because Pam played the maker card and for once I agree with her … I am surprised they don’t use that more often.  I do however, see it becoming a theme with Pam and Tara.  Maybe Bill should have tried it a few more times with babyvamp Jessica in the beginning when she was such a brat.  As the parent of a teenager I can assure you if I had that available it would be used CONTINUOUSLY!!

While Tara and Bill have their little conflab in the office Eric is out in the main bar trying to extract information out of Pam about whether she was involved with freeing Russell.  Poor Pam is devastated that Eric would suspect her like that and begs him to release her if that is what he really thinks.  I agree!! Trusting Bill and a werewolf over Pam?  Not kewl Eric … and honestly not really very true to the character if you ask me.  Too much has been put into this whole Eric / Sookie thing for me.  It rang much truer when he was all for ignoring Sookie’s cries and looking out for himself.  Him and Pam, even by show criteria have been together over 100 years with nothing but loyalty and devotion from Pam.  Even when she fired the Rocket Launcher she was really only looking out for Eric’s interests and getting back to this episode Eric obviously sees this because the next thing after Pam’s outburst is Eric entering the office telling Bill that Pam is not the one. Bill questions whether it could be Nora but Eric claims he didn’t tell anyone anything.  They bounce around the only other obvious one (Jessica) but decide ultimately they will have to go to ground and cast the net wider tomorrow.

At Authority headquarters Roman is in bed watching Nora’s torture with Salome prancing around in her negligee again.  (She is really irritating if you ask me).  Roman has decided that Salome will be the one to try to break Nora as he is sure there are other traitors in their midst.  Nora agrees claiming that everyone breaks eventually.  True to their word they are keeping tabs on Bill and Eric with their little iStakes ap and annoying bratty child vamp is commenting that they are just hanging around at Fangtasia.  That little brat needs a time out!  Sorry but he is probably the most annoying of all the Authority members with Rosalyn the Redhead right after him!  There is some pointless banter about what is really going on with everything, did they in fact kill Russell, is news of his possible escape out? blah blah blah no one cares.  They switch to spying on Nora who is praying to Lilith and gets UV rayed for her prayers.  Dull Dull Dull.  Honestly at this point unless they are going to give us some USEFUL information as far as I am concerned they can just skip the Authority scenes altogether … they are just eating into perfectly good story time!

Over in Bon Temps Sookie has decided after her little run in with Alcide that she has to tell the truth and heads straight to poor Jason’s house to lay it all on him.  You can tell that all Jason really wants to do is put his fingers in his ears and say “NO NO NO Can’t hear you” but Sookie refuses to get the message and just continues to confess anyway.  Having kind of been in a similar situation before (Remember Eggs??) Jason is actually pretty calm about the whole thing and tells Sookie to go home and act normal and he will sort things out. I am really impressed at how much Jason has matured over the last 4 years and in a very believable way.  Jason is most shocked about the fact that Tara is a vampire and Jessica overhears the same thing and she looks non too impressed by this fact … but I have to give her credit …. actually no I don’t … not yet anyway …. will give her credit a bit later when that scene comes up :D.

Daytime comes and Andy is at work (although not working, he is having some annoying phone flirting with Holly …. yes another storyline I am pretty much done with lol) but he gets interrupted by the corrupt Mayor who wants to take Andy and Jason out to celebrate their corruption (the letting off of his son’s speeding ticket) at a very secret club that he goes to.

At Merlotte’s Sam older shifter friends have come to pay a visit.  It seems with Luna and Sam on the outs they want Sam to come back and come running with them.  You know that something is up but it doesn’t become clear until much later on.  Sam agrees to go meet with them but I am betting that he wishes he hadn’t.  With all that going on we flip over to Sookie who is hearing how everyone is not impressed that she saved Tara by turning her into a vampire and one of the loudest voices in her head comes from Arlene and poor Sookie can’t take it so runs to Sam’s office to cry.  She may have wished that she ran straight out into the parking lot because Lafayette pulls up and when he see’s Sookie’s car he casts some seriously bad Demon mojo on it causing far more reaction than we ever even saw in Christine.  This car looks SERIOUSLY possessed ….. and you KNOW that isn’t going to be good.

Alcide is at that very moment over confessing all to Debbie’s parents. And when I say all I mean his version of all. He has very cleverly managed to come up with a story to cover all the bases without implicating Sookie at all.  he blames it all on Marcus who as Alcide has killed him already is not exactly likely to come back and correct him.  Saying that with all the ghostly goings on lately there are no guarantees.  Alcide and the Pelts have a good cry yada yada yada I really could care less!!! Alcide needs to read the rules on what Abjured means!!! Bored of this whole story!!  The only good thing to come out of this is when Andy and Jason are talking about it before they go out to the bar and Andy is worrying that he is missing something and it is Jessica to the rescue glamouring Andy into forgetting ALL about all of it.  Oh she has turned out so well (No thanks to Bill)!!!

Sookie has decided she has had enough for the day and leaves in her possessed car.  She takes off down the road and soon finds out that her ugly little yellow car now has a mind of its own!  Picking up speed at an alarming rate and becoming impossible to control (it sounds like the car may fall apart at any moment!) she finds herself at close to 80 miles an hour and heading for a tree so Sookie bails.  Now Mr Ball I don’t care HOW good your stunt people are there is no way that someone is going to jump out of a car going that fast and land with just a couple of scrapes and bruises!! It may be better for your story but that doesn’t mean it can happen! Did Sookie develop some extra Fairy power to help her here?  i don’t think she has had any vamp blood recently to account for it?  Hmmmmm?? Just wondering!! Anyway Sookie is alive if not happy and heads home to do what anyone would do after a day like that …. Get absolutely blind DRUNK!!!

Off on another stretch of road Terry and Patrick are off on their road trip to find the crazy person and we get a series of flashbacks to give us some idea as to what happened in the past to set all of this into action.  A combination of drink and drugs and bad choices end up in a gun fight that shouldn’t have happened and a whole lot of dead people that could have been avoided.  It all started with a bad decision from the guy that they are obviously tracking down.  This turns out to in fact be the case when they find his little hide away which looks like someone expecting the end of the world.  What Terry and Patrick didn’t expect, although in hindsight they probably should have given the clues, was that crazy guy was waiting for them with a gun … and now they are hostages.  Oh great, so no one knows where they are, or what they are up to …. this does not look good!

Night falls and Pam is looking at Tara sleep when Eric comes to talk to her and gives us one of the most moving scenes to date.  Eric tells Pam that he has to release her so that if anything happens to him their bloodline will go on.  It is so touching, and so sad.  Pam know’s that what he is saying is right but it doesn’t make it any easier for her but as always she will do whatever he wishes.  They hold each other and Eric tells her that she is still his child as he was the child of Godric and whatever happens their blood will thrive.  Poor Pam, Poor Eric, oh makes my heart break!

At Bill’s mansion Jessica and Bill are tearing the place up looking for possible bugs although Jessica would love to know what they are supposed to be looking for.  In between moments Jessica says Bill should go see Sookie as Sookie is not coping with things and is falling apart.  Bill is no amused and stresses that Jessica should really take care of herself first.  Bill then takes credit for having raised Jessica well …. but I still go back and agree with her very early statement about him being the WORST MAKER EVER!!!  

At vampire Authority headquarters Nora is being tortured yet again and seems to be holding up pretty well until Roman brings out the iStake ap on his phone and threatens to end both Eric and Bill with no warning to them.  That is all it takes for Nora to confess that there is indeed more traitors within the Authority.  We don’t get to hear what she says but it is not looking good for one of the others!  They head to their little meeting room and we get a little lecture about the Judus tree and betrayals. Roman is wandering around and you know that someone is going to be in a whole lot of trouble very shortly.  Alan Ball keeps us guessing with the focus shifting between the various authority members all of whom look as though they are feeling a little guilty about something but he finally settles on the annoying child vamp and shows him the video that has been leaked, by the child himself, of him feeding on humans and saying some very anti Authority type things.  Annoying little brat that he is he responds in much the same way a child would trying to argue his way out of things but Roman has had enough and one little “Pop” with the stake and the child vamp is gone for good.  Hmmm maybe Roman has a touch of potential after all.  At least this is the last week we will have to deal with the brat!

Sookie meanwhile has been steadily working her way through all available liquor in the house and has gotten herself well and truly wasted and we get to hear a very interesting rendition of the Pina Colada song with new lyrics courtesy of Sookie herself.  She is interrupted by a phone call from a concerned Lafayette who has found her car wrapped around a pole “like a giant banana split”.  She assures Lafayette that she is OK when there is a knock at the door.  In her drunken state she at first thinks it is Lafayette but it turns out to be Alcide.  Alcide confesses that he has cleaned up all of her mess because he didn’t want her to go to jail. Sookie suddenly seems a lot more sober than she should be after all she has ingested but she seeks to rectify that by drinking some more with Alcide for company.

So they drink, Sookie creates some awful sounding cocktails and then they kiss.  Oh shock horror .. NOT!.  Everyone knew it was coming it was just a matter of when.  Then only blessing is we didn’t have to see TOO much of it … well this week anyway!  Oh and Bill and Eric show up outside just in time to see this going on.  You would think Alcide would be able to sense that they had company but either he really sucks as a werewolf or he was way too distracted, after all he has only had Debbie up until now and we all saw how that went.  Bill’s plan now seems to be let’s get Sookie to help find Russell whether she wants to or not.  Wonder if he would have felt that way if he HADN’T seen her making out with Alcide.

Quick flash over to Sam who is meeting his shifter friends from earlier ….. only he finds them dead, both shot in the head while sitting at the table eating and waiting for him.  Uh oh .. you know that will be trouble in the weeks to come!

Pam is dealing with Tara and her eating disorder over at Fangtasia.  Now remember when Jessica was having issues (Of course that was Bill’s fault for not letting her drink from humans, obviously Pam has no such issues) …. well Bill could have solved things very easily by just commanding her to drink! and that is exactly what Pam does.  When Tara doesn’t want to feed Pam threatens to use it and then does what every good parent knows you have to … Follow’s through and Tara is soon happily (or unhappily) feeding from the donor. We get a great monologue from Pam while Tara devours her dinner (breakfast?).  Pam is by far stealing the show this season!

Night also brings And and Jason’s big night out with the Mayor.  I have to say I was unsurprised when they were blindfolded and taken to a secret fairy club (which could have passed for something out of Cirque Du Soleil).  I was surprised to see Hadley there who was giving Jason a lot more information than the surrounding dancer fairies seemed happy with and Andy got to see his one night stand from last season. Hmmm wonder what is going on with that.  Hey Claude said last week he had 16 sisters … wonder if she is one of them.  Anyway upstart to all this was Jason learned that maybe vampires were responsible for killing his parents .. hmmmmm not convinced on that, and that Hadley is there in some kind of “hide the Fae from the vampires scheme” because of Hunter her son.  She urges Jason to get Sookie to come there too but Jason and Andy end up in a fight and getting their asses thrown out through the shimmering light into the big open field with no signs that they can get back in but before they can even assess that fact 2 fairies appear and blast them with light just like Sookie’s microwave fingers.  And that is where it ends!!

So what does this light mean for Andy and Jason?? (My guess would be that it is supposed to wipe their memories but not really sure)

How far did Sookie and Alcide get to consummating their relationship, and do we really care (I don’t), and can we avoid any sexy scenes with him in it … PLEASE …. ugh he just does nothing for me at all.  I am totally not a “Furvert!” lol

And finally …. will we EVER get to see Russell!!!!!  They have been dragging this out now long enough.  no more Authority .. WE WANT RUSSELL!!!

Until next week my fellow trubies ….. when I will try and be a bit more on time with this …. but no promises lol

V””V

Memorable Lines From We’ll Meet Again

• Pam – “Let Bygones be Bygones …. Bi Girls be Bi Girls”
• Tara – “Pam went all ‘As Your Maker I Command You’ on me which is a car I am surprised you all don’t play more often”
• Eric – “You are my one progeny, my one legacy, I need you to live when I’m gone”
• Bill – “As prescribed by the one true vampire Authority i am the King of Louisiana until I meet the True Death …. or until they change their mind”
• Jessica – “So I had a few friends over … no one got eaten, no one got drained!”
• Sookie – “Bar’s Open … and it’s Fruity!”
• Pam – “Do it or I’ll say it”
• Sookie – “The whole world hates me .. but they can just go bite me .. those that haven’t already!”

HBO Go – Extras

• 00.51 – Pam The Parent (Video)
• 01.01 – How To Kill A Vampire #1
• 01.16 – How To Kill A Vampire #2
• 01.31 – How To Kill A Vampire #3
• 01.46 – How To Kill A Vampire #4
• 02.01 – How To Kill A Vampire #5
• 03.11 – Relive : Angel Of Death
• 03.52 – True Trivia : Only 4 Of Us
• 03.57 – True Trivia : Only 4 Of Us
• 06.46 – Sookie’s Confession (Video)
• 06.58 – True Secret :Eric’s Throne
• 08.02 – Relive :A Common Problem (Video)
• 13.18 – Authority Problems (Video)
• 14.37 – Now Playing : Pocket Change performed by Alabama Shakes
• 15.26 – Relive : Wild Horses (Video)
• 16.34 – First Draft : Simpler Times
• 18.44 – A Real Psychopath
• 20.34 – Now Playing : Line on the Road performed by Kristin Diable
• 21.03 – True Trivia : Stunt Sookie
• 21.08 – True Trivia : Stunt Sookie
• 21.14 – Now Playing : Move on down the Road performed by Sugaray
• 22.15 – Now Playing : Bring It On performed by Slurp – P
• 22.50 – What the hell is Patrick talking about?
• 27.17 – Relive : Glamour Don’ts (Video)
• 27.24 – True Secrets : Pam’s Coffin
• 31.29 – So Long, Sucker (Video)
• 34.24 – Loving Jessica (Video)
• 37.59 – Now Playing : Sleep Isabella performed by Abney Park
• 38.11 – Second Look : The Faerie Club
• 39.52 – Luckiest or Dumpiest (Video)
• 39.58 – Now Playing : Escape (The Pina Colada Song) performed by Rupert Holmes
• 41.25 – Scent of a Werewolf
• 43.59 – Second Look : Mysterious Mural
• 44.31 – Reaction Shots (Video)
• 46.12 – Kindred Spirits (Video)
• 50.30 – Nothing Like A Good Stake (Video)
• 52.29 – Eric’s Heart (Video)
• 53.41 – Relive : Shared Traits (Video)
• 54.56 – Now Playing : We’ll Meet Again performed by Los Lobos