At first glance the world today seems to be filled with vampyric offerings and a general feeling that vampires are no longer the domain of the slightly weird, outcast emo goth teenagers that they were once perceived to be. With Twilight, The Vampire Diaries, and even some of the more adult based shows such as True Blood have introduced vampires into the mainstream as never before. Books are springing up as paranormal romance jumps to an all time high and the “vegetarian” vampire who only drink from animals or bottled synthetic blood are making these dark creatures more accessible to everyday people than ever. You can’t turn around without seeing a “TEAM” T-shirt. So where does this leave the REAL vampire lovers? Those of us that crave and adore the darkness and the destruction, the hidden evil that walks among us, the monster, the demon, the fantasy killer.
Well fear not because as “comfortable” as the world would like to think it is with the creatures of the night, when they come face to face with something a little “different” they revert to their true state … that of fear and confusion ….. the knowledge that vampires are in fact death and not sparkly adorable teenagers who chase down deer for dinner.
This weekend I was feeling particularly vampy (those of you that know me from reality will know that this is not that unusual) so fully vamped out I left the confines of my dwelling to do “normal” everyday stuff (visit Starbucks, hit the grocery store … take the kids to Chuck E Cheeses ….) and was amazed (and thrilled) at the reactions I received. As a side note I would like to point out that my God-children (4 and 6 thought I looked beautiful … no fear from them ….. and my friends told me I was sexy … always fun …. and my husband … well lets just say I KNOW he liked it … even though he made me retract the fangs prior to the Chuck E Cheese visit lol).
First stop was Starbucks where one barista literally ran to the back room and the other completely refused to make eye contact with me even though I was the one placing the order and he would only look at my friend. Particularly loved the shaking hand as he reached to take the money. Of course it probably didn’t help that Starbucks is featuring a collection of ridiculously tiny, mini food snacks and when I asked what the deal was with that my friend Brandi said, without missing a beat, those are for the tea-cup humans!! Yes my friends and I live in a world where EVERYTHING can be linked to vampires!!
After Starbucks we headed to the local grocery store and the fun continued. From the girl who backed away from the ATM so that we could go first (and then cowered away from us on a bench), to the shoppers that couldn’t decide whether to stare or run (most opted for just moving away … far, far away), to the checkout girl who refused to meet my eye. Yes my readers the world is not as comfortable with vampires as it would like us to believe. It is hard to decide what was my favorite moment while grocery shopping ….. the guy that walked past 3 times staring as we waited to pay (until I glared at him and ran my tongue over my fangs and he ran so fast I thought my friend Brandi was going to pee her pants before she paid), or the people in the parking lot hiding behind their cars and ducking out the way whilst scanning continuously for the hidden cameras and the chance that they might make it on TV. Hilarious!!
But wait … the fun doesn’t end there. Once my adoring husband returned from work we, together with our friends Brandi and Sarah, took the kids to Chuck E Cheese. (Click HERE to see what Chuck E Cheese is if you are not familiar with it.) Now those of you that have read Jeaniene Frost will know that Chuck E Cheese and Vampires do not have to be separated. In fact there were many comments passed around our table regarding silver throwing stars and a certain giant mouse (Night Huntress is REQUIRED reading to understand that ….) but I digress …… so off to Mouseville (Or as I nicknamed it HELL) with Fangs retracted (*sigh* …. My husband really does like children and I see his point I suppose that it is MEANT to be a child’s type place) …. to get my amusement by seeing how many people I could freak out in this supposed Twilight adoring, vampire loving world we now live in. The answer was A LOT :D!!!. Almost as soon as we entered I was rewarded by a child running and hiding in his fathers arms much to Sarah’s amusement. Adults generally avoided me or tried to sneak glances without appearing to, children for the most part ran away but there were exceptions. A particularly beautiful girl of perhaps 5 or 6 kept smiling shyly at me as she stood by her mother, I think she will grow up to be a vamp fan, and a child of perhaps a year at the table next to us rewarded me with a smile despite his parents obvious unamusement.
They were, fortunately, in the minority and the fact that I made a child cry filled my heart with joy .. yes I am evil but so is that place!!! If I never have to go again that will work for me! I am not sure which thrilled me the most .. the frightened children or the obvious fear of the grown ups who should know better. One brave man did take a picture, without permission, but the trying to hide what he was doing rather than asking belied his attempt at a brave appearance and provided much amusement at our table.
In summation the world I am glad to report is not as in love with vampires as I feared. They remain sacred and feared by the majority despite the fake love and devotion the wannabees confess too. When the possibility of a vampire confronts them, most will flee from the killer that deep down in their subconscious they recognize is a vampire’s true nature and no amount of sparkles can replace that knowledge.
Me – this weekend V””V