True Blood Season 7 Ep 10 – Finale – “Thank You ” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are. The end of the end …. the final episode ever.  So sad 😦 and things aren’t going to get any better because let me warn you right now I WAS NOT AMUSED!!!!!!! So let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season… ummmmm you have pretty much missed it all)…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So here we are …… the time to say goodbye.  Now things actually don’t start off too badly!  The Yakuza are not secretly waiting at Sookie’s house after all and she just looks depressed …. well because she does.  I guess I didn’t allow for the idea that the directors would realize that they would have to drive from Shreveport as usually they just make this stuff up to suit themselves… timing be damned.   Instead we have Bill reminiscing about him first calling on her blah blah blah.  Sookie quite rightly calls him out on everything and he tries to explain that all he wants is for her to live a normal life …. free of vampires …. and even better he has a plan!   He wants her to use her last fairy light to perform “The Ultimate Kindness”  because he loves her too much to ever let her go otherwise and he worries that vampires will always be hunting her. Sookie doesn’t look impressed and tells him to go but we can all see she is thinking about it.  **Cue opening credits …. for the final time ….. sad 😥 **

Now by far the best part of this whole finale!   This was the moment that my hopes were raised and I thought maybe …. just maybe the team might be able to pull it together.  Oh how wrong I was but these scenes were great! 

We get to see Mr Gus’s crazy team of Yakuza racing in their sports car towards Sookie’s house and in the meantime Mr Gus is getting drunk at the bar in Fangtasia.  In the basement Pam and Eric are hovering around Sarah and Eric announces he is going to let her escape through the tunnels.  Eric has a plan and it is a GOOD one!  Obviously completely over all his Hep V Crises and raring to go he has decided that the best plan is to kill Mr Gus and all his associates and to steal the New Blood formula and keep it for themselves! YES!! Great plan Eric … I LOVE it!  So Eric has Pam give Sarah some of her blood so they can always find her and glamours her into escaping and going into hiding and trusting no one.  Off she scampers and then our dynamic duo summon Mr Gus down to the basement complete with guards and as you can imagine he is none to amused to find his little money maker is gone.  Awwwww so sad! Pam and Eric quickly kill the guards (so easily in fact it makes you wonder what the hell they have been waiting for) and Mr Gus tries to make a run for it.  Eric can’t even be bothered to chase him because “humans are slow” and sends a fireball to turn Mr Gus into one very crispy critter  ….. bye bye Mr Gus.  You and your annoying accent won’t be missed at all!!!

Of course there are still the Yakuza group heading to deal with Sookie but fear not.  Eric swoops on over and dispatches them with Sookie just hearing a slight noise out the window.  Best scene of the night shows us Eric driving the sports car, crazy music blaring, dancing along with a pile of Yakuza bodies in the back seat!! LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!! Now I am not normally one for GIFS in my reviews but Click HERE to see it (Courtesy of Eric Northman Tumblr) because it was THE BEST scene of the entire episode :D.

Sadly that is it for the main episode with Eric.  We do get to see a little clip with Sarah begging Pam to turn her into a vampire to which Pam is highly amused and lets her know it is NEVER going to happen and we also find out that Sarah learned a lot from reading Bill’s book but Pam only skimmed the parts to read about her.  I LOVE Pam!!  What this finale needed was much more Pam and Eric and much less of everything else.  Sadly though that is all from them and then the episode just goes downhill …. fast!!!

We head over to the Compton manor where Jessica decides to come home for a final visit and she brings Hoyt with her.  After saying she will never understand she then basically does a 180 and tells Bill she will be OK and Bill summizes she will be with Hoyt and bluntly asks if they will be getting married eventually. Now they have been back together less than 24 hours at this point and we have to hear a ridiculous blurb about how Bill never got to walk his daughter down the aisle and how he never got to meet her future husband as he had been made vampire by then …. ummmmmm didn’t your daughter die as a child? No husband ever in the picture?  Whatever….. I don’t actually care at this point.  This whole thing was ridiculous. 20 minutes of this finale is wasted by a stupid wedding, totally pointless, in the daytime … and NO ONE CARES!!! UGH!!! This was torture!!!!!  Andy officiates (after a little chat with Bill about him being the heir to the Compton manor … oh continuity … the didn’t forget that Jessica can’t have the house yet and Andy agrees to rent it to Jessica and Hoyt for $1 a month basically forever), Jason is the best man, Sookie is the bridesmaid and Bill gives her away oh and Holly and Arlene are there too. WASTE OF TIME!!!!! The only “useful” thing to come out of it was that we learned Sookie could hear Bill’s thoughts showing us that this Hep V, combined with Sookie’s fairy blood was indeed making him more human.   Even begged the question (from my husband) ….. was Bill going to become human?? Was that going to be the big twist??  Personally I was thinking NOOOOOO WAY … but I have to admit .. that would have been WAY better than then ending we got stuck with.

As always when Sookie has to ponder any big decisions we get flashbacks to her childhood (Yes it was nice to see Gran again for a minute even though it was blatantly thrown in there so she could say that Sookie should never compromise herself because she is different) and then we get the discussion with Jason, who lets Sookie know he is not good at those kind of decisions but will stand by her no matter what she chooses and Sookie tells Jason she listened in Bridgette’s head and she likes him .. and he should act on that.  Subtle!!   Then eventually Sookie ends up talking to Reverend Daniels for some spiritual guidance.   Is Sookie the way she is because God wants her to be … or because he made a mistake.  UGH BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell kind of finale is this??? BORED BORED BORED!!!!! 

So the big question becomes what will Sookie do. As the end fast approaches she calls Bill and tells him she has made all the arrangements and he is to meet her in the cemetery at sundown.  We see her leave in a simple black dress, a stark contrast to her other meetings with Bill in her little white dress (that was a nice touch) and we find her waiting by Bill’s open grave.  She is surprised there is a coffin in there and when Bill arrives he explains that they used to do that as it was easier for the families.  Inside his coffin is the picture of him and his daughter (so that was the reason for that flashback before) and Bill lies down as Sookie prepares to blast him.  Wait …. NO WAY .. there is no way that she is going to kill Bill with her Fairy light and go back to being human …. and nope sure enough as she stands there for ages with the light in her hand we see the resignation cross her face and she says she can’t do it.   Knew it!  No way they would have Sookie kill Bill ….. she is going to save him .. or he will become human … right ……. WRONG!!! Sookie admits that she can’t give up being Fairy as it is a part of her but she asks him if he still wants to die and he does.  So she gabs a shovel and snaps it (hmmmmm OK … those things are MUCH harder than that to break) and creates a stake, climbs down into the coffin with him … and then with their hands both on it … plunges it in!   I CAN’T BELIEVE IT .. They actually killed off Bill …. for real this time .. no coming back as some mystical blood god ….. he is gone.   Sookie is left covered in vampire remains and we see her place the lid on the coffin and start covering it in dirt as she cries.  Wait that can’t be it …. .this is how it ends??  We see Sookie walking away from the cemetery still crying and the darkness covers the screen …. UMMMMM WHAT??? This is the end ……..

Actually that would have been a better ending!!!!  No …. as always they had to keep going.  Although at that point I was already bitching that there had been no more Pam and Eric I think I would have rather left it there.  It certainly would have been more dramatic.  Instead we are treated to 10 minutes of flash forwards.  So are you ready … here we go.

First flash forward is “about a year later” and we see a very cheesy Eric hosting an “infomercial” for New Blood complete with Pam.  They explain how although they never caught Sarah they were able to get a couple of drops of her blood from her escape through a window and synthesize it that way.  There is even a cameo from Charlaine Harris sitting behind the teleprompter.  

 

Flash Forward to 3 years after that and we get to see Pam and Eric opening the trading by ringing the bell at the NY Stock Exchange with a big poster of New Blood behind them so we are to assume that business is going very well for them

Flash forward to “The Following Thanksgiving” so I am guessing about 5 years?  And we get to see …. well pretty much everyone including a VERY pregnant Sookie.  As to who the father is … well we never get to see him.  We get a mystery pair of hands putting a turkey in a deep fryer outside in the sun and then a voice calling “Turkey is in” as Sookie potters around in the kitchen. We get a glimpse over at Jason’s house where we find a pregnant Bridgette and 3 kids already … one of those girls clearly looking older than 4 which would be the right age to fit in their stupid flash forward …… STUPID ROOKIE ERROR ….. (Side note … the song playing was actually played in Season 1 at Arlene and Rene’s engagement party)…… Back at Sookie’s we see Sam and Nicole getting out of the truck complete with one daughter (looking about 5) and another one obviously on the way (apparently they all needed to be pregnant to finish things off).

Suddenly it is night and we head over to Fangtasia where we see Eric sitting on his throne, looking bored and rather sad.  Pretty reminiscent of Season 1 Eric but with shorter hair and in complete contrast to the flash forwards already shown with his success.   We get to see that Pam is in the basement charging $100,000 a minute to bite Sarah and Pam is loving every minute of it.  Sarah on the other hand is tortured and having visions of Steve… which while visions of Steve are always amusing … it was sort of pointless. 

And then to finish we have the great big sweeping, all encompassing, show everyone happy, thanksgiving feast at Sookie’s where we get to see that Hoyt and Jessica are still together, Arlene and Keith are still together, James and Lafayette are still together, Revered Daniels and Lettie Mae,  even Jade Bodehouse has a guy and is at the feast.  LITERALLY everyone is there.  Holly, Andy and the kids … that haven’t aged … at all … not even Adelyn the fast growing fairy has age a day in the 4-5 years … ummmmm STUPID!!!! Then to top everything off we get to NOT see who Sookie is with …. except his back and a slight side view.

THE END 😦

Not the ending I wanted … not an ending I saw coming …. not an ending I am on board with ….. seriously they should have left it with Sookie covered in Bill’s blood …… overall a general let down so thank you HBO for sucking me in for 7 years and then leaving me wanting.   YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Mr Gus ?? (Does he count as main cast?)
BILL!!!! WOW they actually killed him off!! 

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie
Violet
Bill

My Favorite Lines From “Thank You”

• Sookie – “If you are feeling this nostalgic Bill I gotta ask …. What the Fuck???” 
• Pam – “Are you just winging it or do you have a plan here”
• Eric –  “I’ve tried trusting, i’ve tried sharing …. it’s just not fucking working for me!”
• Eric – “Humans are slow.” 
• Sarah – “I’m a horrible person … which is why I think I would make a kick ass vampire”
• Gran – “There are no limits on you if you don’t put them on yourself”. 

True Blood Season 7 Ep 9 – “Love is to Die ” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season… ummmmm you have pretty much missed it all)…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Only 2 episodes left …. EVER …..   AHHHHHHH As much as this season is continuing with the “filler episodes” (seriously you are pretty much running out of time here … LITERALLY) I am still so sad this this is ending.  At this point the only good thing is that it is pretty much all dealing with the cast we know and apart from one scene saying goodbye there are no more shifters or wolves to deal with in Bon Temps.  Awwwwww almost like the beginning …… *sigh* ……

This week was really just a whole lot of talking! For the first time I could really feel the writers were trying to “wrap things up” and that things really are ending.  Despite the fact that, and let’s be honest here, the plotlines have totally lost themselves many times over to the point where sometimes I don’t even think the writers know where to go with things …. we are all here because this show will always hold a special place in our hearts … well my hear anyway …. OK enough of that …. On with the show!!

This week starts up right where we left off last week with Bill refusing to drink the cure.  Despite Jessica and Sookie pleading and giving their best arguments Bill tells them he is choosing the True Death.  Eric seems to be the only one that even slightly understands as he stops Sookie from repeatedly slapping Bill as she demands answers and sends Bill away.  But not before Jessica can demand that he releases her.  Bill looks torn for just a moment but then says the beautiful little speech and he leaves with Eric comforting a sobbing Sookie.   Pam obviously understands how much this hurts and Jessica turns to her and sobs in her arms …. but this is Pam is still Pam and says that if she cries on the jacket she’ll have to pay for it! HA!  Wouldn’t want us thinking she was too nice now would we!  **Roll opening credits**

Slight detour after the credits with Sookie and Jessica now apparently visiting Sam’s place.  There doesn’t seem to be any reason for this other than the fact that the audience gets to find out that Sam has left with Nicole and doesn’t plan on coming back.  There are 2 notes on the table.  One for Sookie and one for Andy.  Sookie’s letter is full of the explanation and we get to see (via flashback) Sam and Nicole packing everything up and leaving.  So goodbye Sam.  Looks like you get to survive and there will be no bookish type ending (so at least we can be grateful for that!)   And thus ends the shifter / wolf input this episode.  YAY lol

Sookie and Jessica head to the bar where everyone seems to be hanging out with the justification that Arlene has seen Field of Dreams and is doing the we are going to all be here until the customers work out things are back open and fake it until we make it.  As there are no customers they are going to have their own little party (Big John is cooking, Lala and James are there,  Keith, Arlene, Holly, her boys and Adelyn, and now Sookie and Jessica oh and a mystery waitress ….. really there are still people in this town we don’t know??? Ummmm FAIL! ).   Sookie takes Andy in the back to give him his letter from Sam thinking it is going to be emotional but turns out that it just says that he resigns as mayor.  Poor Andy!! Although it was pretty funny!

There are lots of “wrapping up” moments this week.  Jessica and James sort out their differences and James goes off to be happy with Lafayette and Jessica goes off into the night (we find out why all too soon).

Everyone else settles down to eat but Sookie is separate at the bar.  After a little telepathic intervention from Adelyn, Arlene heads over and has a little heart to heart.  Sookie tells Arlene about Bill and asks how Arlene keeps starting over and Arlene basically tells her she just has to kind of make up her mind to do so and they head over to the table where everyone is sitting to eat.

Now here I though with the way the camera was panning and them calling Lafayette from the kitchen to come join them that something bad was about to happen.  Because that’s how it works right? Nice scene … setting up for crazy ….. but nope.  Apparently tonight they all just get to have a nice dinner.  See you know things are actually ending when that sort of thing happens 😦

While they are eating Bill gets an unexpected visit from Eric and yes it is another heart to heart.  This episode is absolutely overflowing with them.  Eric tries to explain that he thinks the disease talking and not really Bill.  He talks about it attacking his spirit and how when Pam had found him he was in the same place. Bill explains about his dreams and how that he can see that he is ruining her life and until he is gone she has no chance.  Something seems to register for Eric and he agrees to get Sookie to  talk to Bill so Bill can explain before he dies.

Eric goes back to Bellefleurs and finds Sookie and explains that he has spoken to Bill and she needs to talk to him and hear him out.  The way Eric looks at her when they are talking is just so lovely.  He offers to give her a lift and she points out he doesn’t have a car.  He swoops her up in his arms and they take to the sky.  Awwwwwww at this point I am almost back to wanting Eric and Sookie back together despite the fact that she most certainly DOES NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES deserve him … but he obviously loves her (although I can’t work out for the life of me why) *Sigh*.    When they land at Sookie’s the look that Eric gives her just breaks my heart (see picture) but she doesn’t seem to get it.  Or she does and she’s just ignoring it.  He tells her that her phone is ringing and it is probably Bill and then he takes off to the sky and she goes in …. it is of course Bill on the phone and he is coming there to call on her shortly. 

Over in another part of town Hoyt and Bridget are fighting because she is still mad that Hoyt doesn’t want kids.  But that isn’t the real issue for her.  The real issue is the obviously chemistry she saw between Hoyt and Jessica.  Now poor Hoyt really doesn’t remember anything from before but Bridget isn’t quite buying that and when he admits that he went to the clinic to donate blood for Bill.  Bridget just starts to forgive him when, with perfect timing, Jessica knocks at the door.  Jessica tries to explain to Bridget that Hoyt isn’t lying. That she knows him but he doesn’t know her.  Hmmmm can you imagine being a non vamp person and trying to get your head around that lol.   Bridget tells Hoyt that she is confused and doesn’t want to hear any of it but if Hoyt does he can go out there but basically not to come back….. and of course he does!

Jessica explains that Bill has released her and everything going on with him and that she felt she had no one else she could talk to because he was the first man that she every loved.   The whole scene is really sweet.  These two always made a really cute couple! 

Bridget calls Jason as he is the only person that she know’s in the whole town.  She tells him that Jessica is explaining everything and Jason rushes over in his police car with the lights and sirens blazing just in time to get punched in the face and knocked out by Hoyt.  Yep Jason guess Hoyt has been told everything.  Next thing we know Jason is in the car with Bridget and as he comes around she is telling him they are heading to the hospital. Jason rationalizes that there is nobody working there and he has had loads of concussions and will be fine so to just go to his house but he wants to make it clear that they will not be having sex tonight.   Bridget is pretty shocked and explains that there is no way that would have happened anyway but Jason knows better lol.  She doesn’t quite understand but oh she will.

When they get to the house Bridget is trying to get her flight changed to go home but is getting nowhere with the airline.  Jason asks if it is a man or a woman on the line and when he finds out it is a woman he takes the phone and turns on that classic Jason charm.  This season really has shown Jason at his best.  He has been brilliant and again manages to save the day in his own crazy way and he gets Bridget a flight back before heading into the other room to put an ice pack on his head …. and then his other head to try and convince himself he is not going to sleep with Bridget. 

Bridget comes out of the other room and says she is hungry but all they have is beer. They sit at the counter for a bit and Jason explains about his life and how Math was hard and women weren’t.  All Jason can think about are the things that Hoyt told him when he first found out about Jason and Jessica.   Jason tells her the whole story and when he finishes Bridget tells him he is wrong and that  she is going to teach him how not to have sex with a woman lol. (Yes a skill every man is just itching to learn i’m sure!)

They lay in bed (on separate sides) and the plan is to tell each other facts about each other that they don’t know.  Jason ends up admitting that he wants children and he doesn’t know if he is right to be a father.  What if he has a daughter and she meets a guy like him.  What would he do then?  Well the obvious answer is most men would freak out and ground the daughter and kill the guy ….. but apparently the right answer is … you will be fine.  Everything is already in him to be a great guy.  Well OK then *sigh* …. and nope .. no Bridget Jason action.  He even keeps his top on. 

Meanwhile Hoyt and Jessica have moved their talk inside and things are getting more intense and Jessica eventually uses her blood to heal his hand and then things get all hot and intense and we get some nice Hoyt / Jessica action.  I guess those two were meant to be together after all ❤

At Fangtasia it is time for a change of pace and Sarah is taken upstairs ….to the back office for a makeover. They are turning her back to blonde.  Pam is back in hair mode again complete with foils!! (Season 2 anyone??)  She makes a big deal about glamouring Sarah so that she won’t scream but she can still talk. Hmmmm this could be a problem or why show it?   In the meantime Pam has a nice little story to go with things about whores and how Sarah will be making them a great deal of money because they will be able to sell her out as a “cure” to the highest bidders. 

Bill is walking across the cemetery to visit Sookie and he stops at the graves of his children.  With the minutes ticking down to the end of this installment I will confess I half expected him to collapse there and then and leave us hanging until next week to find out what happens but apparently that is not to be the case as we see him arrive at the Sookies.  Sookie is inside sitting at the table but I think something is wrong.  I think the Yukuza are there.  Why you might ask ….. well wait for it ……..

Back at Fangtasia Eric walks in to find a very annoyed Ginger who is bitching that Eric didn’t tell her that he wasn’t going to die.  Eric is not in the mood to deal with her and bitches back about how he has spent all evening dealing with other people’s relationship problems and how that is so not him and so he wants to apologize to her and make it up to her the best way he can think of.  He says he is going to fuck her!  He asks where she imagines them doing it …. seriously I thought at this point it was going to change into a dream but nope .. apparently Ginger is going to get her wish and finally get some Eric action!  Sadly for Ginger she does’t seem able to take a whole lot of Eric action before collapsing into a heap on the floor leaving Eric with nothing other than messed up hair.   It’s all rather ridiculous but she seems happy and she’s waited 7 seasons for her moment so I’m glad she at least enjoyed it lol

Sadly for Eric things are about to get a whole lot worse.  He goes hunting for Pam and finds her silvered to a table in the dungeon with a nasty stake hanging perilously above her suspended by a few ropes.  The Yukuza are gradually cutting the ropes to get Eric to talk and it works.  He admits that Sookie knows about Sarah being the cure …. the music turns dark and somber and seriously at this point I was fearing for Pam.  I am still not 100% sure that Pam will make it through but she survived this week.  I won’t lie, my heart was definitely in my throat there for a minute……. 

And now we wait until next week and the final episode. Oh it has come around so fast 😥.    The big question still remains who will make it to the end? Who will Sookie end up with?  Will she become a vampire to save Bill?  Why do I still have a horrible feeling Pam is going to be one of the ones to not make it? Things have totally taken a turn from the beginning of the seasons and all the bets have changed.  Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my final  thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie
Violet

My Favorite Lines From “Love is to Die”

• Pam – “If you cry on my jacket you’re paying for it sweetheart” 
• Bridget – “Southern Eyelashes that go on for days.”
• Hoyt –  “I want you to tell me the story of us ”
• Arlene – “We can’t have sex .. it would kinda kill him if we did.” 
• Eric – “Get over yourself Bill! ”
• Eric – “I’m over 1000 years old! If I had an aptitude for marriage counselling don’t you think I would have figured that out by now”. 
• Jason– “You just happened to pick a guy who’d already met the girl he was supposed to be with”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 8 – “Almost Home” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Wow only 3 episodes left including this one.  AHHHHHHH As much as this season is continuing with the “filler episodes” (seriously you are pretty much running out of time here … LITERALLY) I am still so sad this this is ending.  I have the feeling that the finale is going to kick some major ass and I will just be yelling obscenities at the screen for several minutes :(.  On the plus side there were ZERO shifter mentions / issues/ references this week 😀 So that is something to celebrate lol.

Right then everybody ready because here we go!   Again this week can be split up into just a few little boxes as other than a couple of proper plot points this week was just full of things that are (I hope) going to go somewhere.   We start with Sarah or “Numi” at the camp knowing they are all outside waiting to kill her.  She is talking to her imaginary Jason and he agrees that it is time to die.  Out she goes ready to take on death and claiming that she will come back as “The Princess Of Peace” … ummmm OK crazy bitch ….  and Eric almost delivers it to her (seriously lets blame the Hep V for addling his brain THIS much …. I mean DRINK FIRST …. Cure … remember???) but Pam grabs one of the guns armed with a wooden bullet and threatens to kill herself if he doesn’t cure himself and hand her over.  Thankfully he does and we get a shot of the powerful Eric yelling at the sky with some overly ridiculous long fans but hey … HE IS CURED!!!!! Wooooo Hooooo!!!! And Sarah is tossed to the floor to be swept up by the corporation and the opening credits roll!

One of the main stories this episode is Sookie still desperate to save Bill.   We see them relaxing (and we see way too much of Bill and his nasty veins) and they are chatting about the past.  Boring boring boring!  Was this meant to be a recap for us? Because those of us that watch a lot know this … and we also don’t care.  The only possibly relevant part of this conversation could be that Sophie Ann wanted to breed Sookie.   That is 2 baby references in regard to Bill in 2 weeks …. plus we think we are going to get through the whole episode with out a “Bill Flashback” and technically I suppose we do because the one they show 5 minutes from the end turns out to be Sookie and not Caroline holding a baby … which is not a baby but a bundle of darkness. Hmmmmmm I assume there is a reason for this but I have no idea what it is and I am not really sure that as Bill is involved I actually care.

Perhaps the most annoying (and pointless time filling crap) this episode is the whole Tara chapter which does at least finally gets closed once and for all.  Lafayette and Lettie Mae are still digging random holes in their old houses’s garden (while the confused family just stand there and look on …… I am assuming at this point if you live in Bon Temps pretty much anything goes???).  The Reverend comes along to try and talk them out of doing anymore but instead gets convinced to join them on the V trip and James turns up and supplies the blood.  I adore James!  I wish they were doing more with his character this season!!!! He seems to have been  relegated to V supplier :(.   Anyway ….. whole bunch of time spent with the Lala, Lettie Mae and the Rev high as kites and following Tara through a pointless flashback to an old birthday where we learn that Lettie Mae was abused by Tara’s dad.  He freaked out because he couldn’t find his gun (turns out Tara had hidden it) …. Tara has the opportunity to shoot him but doesn’t and she buries the gun in the back yard and he leaves them forever.   That is what they are hunting for.  The gun.   OK ANYONE have any guesses as to why of ALL the things they could have come up with THIS was the storyline they went with.  UGH YAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Gun found Tara and her mom say goodbye and she heads off and is supposedly at peace now.   WASTE OF SCREEN TIME!!!!!

In more exciting news Jason is over at the Fortenberry house with Hoyt and Bridget as they sort through all the things and there is a fair amount of tension going on especially as Bridget mentions having babies.  Hoyt is not in a “baby” place and apparently doesn’t know if he ever will be.  Poor Jason is just sitting there when he gets a text, complete with pictures, showing that Violet has Adelyn and Jessica all tied up and telling him he needs to come.   Obviously he rushes straight to the car but there is a problem…. Bridget doesn’t want to stay and fight with Hoyt so she gets in the car too.  Hmmmmm weird!!!  Jason calls Andy but he is too far out so he is rushing to the rescue … and apparently Bridget is going with them because she won’t get out the car!

Jason leaves Bridget in the car with a gun full of Silver bullets (which is not too thrilled about but hey she was the one that insisted on going …. at least she didn’t insist on going INTO the house).  As Jason explores there is some beautiful music playing (I need to track this down!) and he is jumping at all the statues placed everywhere as if Violet doesn’t already know that he has arrived lol.  She of course pounces on him and he doesn’t stand a chance and before he knows it he is he is gagged and restrained and learning about the fates that are about to end all the prisoners, described in glorious detail as Violet swans around a room she clearly loves and has used many times in the past.

Wade is going to have all his fingers crushed and then his head crushed in a vice while Adelyn watches.   Next will be Adelyn who will get to experience this awful claw looking device called “The Breast Ripper” which will be heated up and then literally grasp and tear all the flesh from her chest and the she will slowly drain her dry. Jessica will be next and Violet correctly works out that Jessica was a virgin where she was turned and so her punishment will be to be fucked by a red hot metal dildo every 10 minutes for days.  Wow … Violet really isn’t happy!   Before we can find out what fate was in store for Jason, Violet tells us was that all she wanted was for Jason to worship her for the perfect creature that she was …. and then Hoyt appears and shoots her in the back and it is bye bye Violet.  Another abrupt ending with a lot less drama than hoped for :(.

So Violet is dead, Hoyt is the hero and the prisoners are safe.  You can see Jessica looking at him in a whole new light again.  Bridget is sitting with Jason and Hoyt and Jessica are chatting and there are just sparks everywhere.  I wonder if they will unglamour Hoyt somehow.  Hmmmmmm  This could get interesting but they need to hurry up! There are only 2 episodes to sort this out!! Damn you HBO!   Andy and Holly arrive and are thrilled that Hoyt saved the day.  Yay … Go Hoyt!!   It is shame that he won’t know that he killed the vampire that killed his mother.  I hope he gets to find this out ..especially with them having preached the whole “circle of everything” ….  although then he would know that Maxine had definitely gone to the dark side and in that moment Violet was the good guy ….. kinda …. fun that it is all so mixed up!  Sometimes True Blood can make things interesting after all :D.

Later we see Hoyt head to the Compton mansion and he is starting to leave Jessica a note and a brown bag (ummmm this all looks rather familiar ………) when Jessica hears him and invites him in. In the bag is some of his blood that he had drained at the clinic because he is “clean” and thought it would help with Bill.  Awwwww now if we could just fix that pesky glamour issue ……. He says that him and Bridget will be around for a couple of days before they leave back for Alaska and we all know in the True Blood world that leaves time for ANYTHING to happen :D… and I am sure it will!

The third and final main plot line this week is that now they have Sarah they are going to synthesize her blood and create New Blood (Nu Blood?) to cure everyone.  Eric and Pam are wondering what the delay is and they get a little lesson in how this business is going to work.  Turns out it only took a couple of hours to synthesize and perfectly replicate Sarah’s blood. The thing is they don’t want it perfect.  If it is perfect then everyone will be cured and that doesn’t create a “Demand and Supply” cycle.  We learn that Gilette COULD produce a razor that would never dull …. but they don’t ….. Energizer could make an everlasting battery … but they don’t.  What they want to create is something that will keep them healthy as long as they are drinking the product and urges Pam and Eric to just stay quiet about it.

As Pam and Eric do love their money this is not as issue at first ….. but Eric just HAS to go and let Sookie know that he is OK now *sigh* and you know what that means! Yep she sees that he is cured and she wants the same for Bill! UGH!!!  Even worse you can see that Eric wants to give it to her …. but he can’t.  He tells her that dawn is coming and he will return the following night with answers and takes off into the sky leaving a very frustrated Sookie standing in the doorway.

Well we all know Sookie isn’t going to wait …. especially as she doesn’t believe that Bill may HAVE until the following evening and so she comes up with a plan and that plan involves jumping in her truck and driving out to Fangtasia.  Yes AWESOME plan Sookie!  She is greeted by the Yokomoto guards and she convinces them that she needs to see Eric Northman but that does not go down well overall.  Luckily she is smart enough not to argue when Eric calls her a Fangbanger and pretends to glamour her.  She does overhear cowboy leaders thoughts that he hopes that they are not betraying him and something seems off and she also hears that the cure is in the basement.  She goes through her little pretending routine (with a series of absolutely ridiculously over exaggerated nods and head shakes)   and leaves Fangtastia but only to drive as far as the back entrance where she sneaks back in and find Sarah in the basement.  Finally she does something smart and leaves Sarah but we all know when she leaves she plans on returning that night with Bill to fix him!

Night falls and cowboy boss is not feeling too trusting and tells Eric and Pam he is going out and suggests they stay in the club … with some of his guards.  They don’t object but we soon see them heading down to Sarah and Pam quite rightly points out that they are going to do something stupid aren’t they!  Love Pam! Strangely the guards don’t seem to be interested in anything they are doing unless they are trying to leave (or I assume leave with Sarah) so they get to visit alone.  As they are deciding exactly what to do Sookie arrives back with Jessica helping to bring Bill and they all stand there until Eric tells them to hurry up and get it over with so they can all get out of there before they get caught.  There is just one problem …. Bill has decided not to drink …….

UGH I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! …. Roll credits ……. (of course)

And now we wait until next week and the penultimate episode. Oh it has come around so fast :'(.    The big question remains who will make it to the end? Things have totally taken a turn from the beginning of the seasons and all the bets have changed.  Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Violet – taken out in unceremonious fashion by a bullet in the back by Hoyt

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie
Violet

My Favorite Lines From “Almost Home”

• Hoyt – “From my perspective it is all fucking awful!”
• Pam – “Why the fuck aren’t we already printing money.”
• Eric “The shorter the half life the greater the profit! ”
• Violet – “So you do have the balls to be loyal to at least one woman!” 
• Violet– “All I wanted was for you to worship me for the perfect creature that I am ”
• Pam – “We are doing something stupid aren’t we”. 
• Pam – “Of course it’s happening fast it’s Sookie.  Everything she wants she has to have now!”
• Pam – “Drink the bitch and leave before we all die!”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 7 – “May Be The Last” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because! Oh and let me start by saying this week was (for me) yet another week of filler, which when they are only giving us 10 episodes is a bit weak for me!  They hooked me this season with that one great episode and I thought here we go and have since been holding on with exciting looking previews that quite simply don’t deliver!!

Right then everybody ready because here we go!   Honestly this week can be split up into a few little blocks of what’s happening and then a couple extra bits thrown in and so that is how I am going to break this down.

Let’s start off this week the way True Blood did (and the only real story line people are actually invested in at this point) with Eric, Pam, and the crazy corporation crew at Amber’s house. They already have Amber strapped down with silver chains and are taking it in turns to try and get information out of her about her sister and how she was cured.  Now hang on a second ….. wouldn’t the FIRST thing you tried as a vamp be drinking the blood of a cured person (vamp)?  I mean seriously!! You know she was infected, and now she’s not ….. would that not occur to anyone to at least give it a try???  Well apparently not.  Fear, reasoning, and then bribing seem to be the go to efforts and when all of those fail Eric loses his temper, hallucinates Sarah, and then stakes Amber … all before the opening credits.  Well then there goes that plan.  Crazy cowboy corporation guy though we find out as the episode goes on does in fact have a plan!  Now that they know Sarah is a cure he knows the government will help find her and then they can synthesize her blood and sell a cure as “New Blood”.  Awesome!  Eric looks none to convinced as killing her is still top of his bucket list but even he appears to see the value in the plan and reluctantly agrees.  Not sure anyone in the room is convinced that they are actually working together but that is the plan .. for now.

Later (when they find Sarah) it is made to look like the corporation is going to betray Eric, leaving him and Pam behind while they go to deal with Sarah (who they track down using government surveillance and find her at the Light Of Day Institute of all places)  but SURPRISE. At the end of the episode they are outside at night waiting and they all go off hunting together.  Of course we don’t actually SEE them get to Sarah…. that is all saved for NEXT WEEK Grrrrrrrr.

Talking of Sarah she has a fairly interesting episode.  As mentioned she has gone to the LODI to hide and she has some interesting flashbacks and hallucinations that include Jason lecturing her about how Death is coming in the form of Eric, and then later Steve Newlin and her little Guru friend debating the benefits of dying a Christian versus a Buddhist.  Honestly? These little interactions were sadly one of the highlights of tonight’s episode.  Yup really not a lot going on.  Well she is all set to get hers next week …… we can hope at least!

One of the of the other main stories is the kidnapping of Adelyn and Wade last week by crazy Violet.  Sadly other than Andy and Holly running around all episode trying to find them not a whole lot happens until the very end.  Andy does remember that Adelyn has had Jessica’s blood and so calls her to see if anything bad has happened that she has sensed which for 90% of the episode Adelyn is having a great time.  Violet has taken them off to a house and locked them in a room for the day to have some “fun” complete with a litany of sex toys that these kids have no idea what to do with.  We also learn that Violet used to enjoy having sex with her brother too.  Hmmmm OK then.  But the main story is they are away from everyone, Violet goes to sleep for the day leaving them alone, and nothing other than them having sex happens until the very very end when Violet makes it clear that she is about to torture Adelyn and Jessica finally senses her fear and heads off to the rescue….. but again we have to wait for next week!! Do you see a pattern forming here??? *rolls eyes*

In other news there are 2 minor stories floating around in the background. Hoyt is back in town and he is not alone.  He has his pretty new blonde girlfriend Bridget with him who works with him in Alaska.  Their first stop is Bellefleurs (which Hoyt obviously thought was Merlotte’s) and Arlene calls Jason because Hoyt obviously doesn’t remember him.  Jason comes down and he is definitely interested in Bridget who pretty much does everything short of throw herself at him.  UGH really Jason?? Aren’t you back with Jessica now you have to want Hoyt’s girlfriend AGAIN? This seemed pretty pointless to me unless they are going to have the repeat circumstances somehow trigger his memories?  There was a nice moment where Jason lied and told Hoyt that Maxine died as one of the good guys and not a crazy townsperson and that he had dealt with the person responsible. Hmmmmm OK?  Not quite sure where this is all going but again it was introduced … to be dealt with later. 

And then we have Arlene and her dreams of Keith (who we learn is 515) and her obvious attraction to him despite in her dreams explaining to him that she is NOT a fangbanger and then having sex with him on the pool table.  OK. Whatever.   Arlene’s main job this week is waxing lyrical with Sam who is dealing with Nicole’s ultimatum and it is unsure what he wants to do.  Arlene and him sit and drink and try and help Sam decide what is important to him.  It looks like Sam is getting ready to leave but we also see that this discussion has left Arlene feeling very depressed and in fact feels so bad that at the end Keith comes to visit her as soon as it gets dark because “that kind of pain can be dangerous”.  We learn that Arlene has Hep V (which anyone of us could have pretty much figured out from all the biting etc that happened at Fangtastia) and so Keith, being completely delightful, says that they can just dance. Awwwwwww!!! It was actually rather sweet.

So on to the final main story which of course is Bill and his Hep V that is spreading faster than on anyone else.  But Sookie is not giving up.  She has a plan and that plan involves finding Dr Ludwig … remember her? (Season 2 Maenad scratch ……) Well she gets her to the house and hear several times that Dr Ludwig isn’t scared of anything blah blah blah and we also learn that she has treated another vamp / fae infection but in that case it was a full fae and not a half and it was quicker but not this quick so Sookie isn’t responsible for the super fast progression?  Or maybe she is because when Dr Ludwig finds out that Niall is her relative she freaks out and leaves.  Now you would expect this to have some sort of relevance to things but it really doesn’t.  Sookie manages to get hold of Niall to see if he can help her.  Other than eating some spaghetti, letting her know that he could have prevented her from infecting Bill because he is always watching and yes he know ….  and then showing Sookie a flashback with Bill’s wife giving birth to their daughter and explaining the miracle of birth that happens every day his visit seems pretty pointless.  He lets us know that he doesn’t like Bill for Sookie and never has and that his magic can’t help with anything.  Well then that clears that up.  Really?? Why?? Oh time filler ….. because seriously there was NO other reason for it at all that I can see! 

The episode ends with Sookie running over to Bill’s in her white dress, very reminiscent of the first time they were together, and she tells Bill that she will stay with him until the end.  Of course this ends up with them having sex in front of the fire and we get to see a very unwelcome sight of Naked Bill covered in Hep V Veins.  UGH well thank you very much True Blood.  Naked Bill at the best of times is bad enough but really??? BLAH!!!!   Even better his fangs pop out and he is obviously debating biting her and well all know THAT would be a bad idea …. Really Bill??? Look where the last bite got you!! He decides against it and sticks to the sex.  Wonderful and dull!!! 

And now we wait until next week which again looks promising but at this point who the hell knows because after all LAST WEEK … THIS WEEK’S looked promising and what an overall fail that was!!!  The big question remains who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (Although Amber died …. I suppose that should get a mention)

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

My Favorite Lines From “May Be The Last”

• Andy – “Even if they don’t want to answer teenagers can have a pavlovian response to a ringing cell phone”
• Violet – “Your imagination is a muscle … use it or lose it! ”
• Eric “You want Eric to be the fucking spokesman for your vampire Jenny Craig commercials”
• Sookie – “There is a miracle waiting out there for Bill.  I just have to go out there and find it! ” 
• Dr Ludwig– “Oooooh how very spooky – A cemetery …. shall we?? ”
• Niall  – “I don’t like him for you!.”
  
• Niall – “There is magic in the ordinary – Birth is a miracle, love is a miracle, death is a miracle, forgiveness is a miracle.”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 6– “Karma” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because! Oh and with Comic Con being last  weekend there was an AWESOME trailer for the upcoming final episodes shown ….. if you missed it you can check it out HERE.

Right then everybody ready because here we go and this week starts off in a pretty damn awesome fashion with Eric strolling down the hallways carrying the ripped out jaw of the Yukuza member he took down last week.  Of course life can’t be that easy and there are a bunch more waiting for him – all of which he takes out although you can see he is finding it a lot more of an effort that normal (but nothing like the failure to punch through a wall a couple of episodes ago …… sooo continuity issues or adrenalin rush??? Who the hell knows at this point but we get to see Eric being all well ….. Eric like lol so that is always fun). I did love his little pause to ask “Really?” before smashing up a few more of their little killer team but sadly this fun comes to an end when other team members bring a silvered Pam around the corner.  UGH really Pam?  Again? I know you can fight better than this!!!!!  Pam and Eric are escorted in some nifty looking cars to (what I assume to be) the Yokomoto headquarters where they are placed in a room with huge windows and a clock in front of them with a countdown to dawn.  As they are left there alone, presumably to meet the sun, Eric says to Pam “Our first Sunrise together” …. awwwwwww and they share a look and the opening credits roll.

One of the other big revelations last week at the end was Bill showing the first signs of Hep V.  That takes up a fair amount of time this episode and starts with him calling a lawyer to get his affairs in order.  Turns out this is quite a popular thing at the moment and so no appointments are available and so the only option he has is to go down and wait to be seen.   Jessica overhears this conversation but doesn’t confront him about it even when he says he will be leaving and won’t be back until late so not to wait up for him.  We get to follow Bill to the lawyers office which looks like a DMV waiting room with a take a number and wait system and the average wait time it 5-7 hours which will take them up until after sunrise.   Not having much other option as the tell tale black veins are already spreading Bill sits in for the long haul and we get to see that his Hep V is spreading at an alarming rate.  The nasty black veins are appearing more and more before our eyes.  Well that can’t be good! 

On the other side of town Lafayette is none to amused with Lettie Mae’s actions at the party and he takes her back to his house.  She tries to insist she needs to go home because the Reverend will be waiting but Lala is too smart to fall for that knowing that she gave him enough Benedryl to knock him out for hours.  When they get inside James is waiting and looking to take Lafayette up on his offer of a place to crash but things take a little turn with Lettie Mae ranting on about seeing Tara …. James is actually on HER side.  He says that Lafayette of all people should understand the doorways it can open and they come to an arrangement that while James goes off to bed for the day Lafayette and Lettie Mae will go on a V induced trip together.

 Now I want to take a little time out here for a bitch ….. not really relevant to anything other than my annoyance to continuity so feel free to skip to the next paragraph for episode only related info. People have been getting high off of V in this show since Season 1 with Jason and the trips we took then.  Now they have changed the rules so often it makes my head spin (if you use it for healing you don’t seem to get the effects …. unless you are Lettie Mae) …. if you drink a few drops for “finding purposes” again no fun effects ….. but a couple of weeks ago Lettie Mae swallowed a great deal more of Willa’s blood and had a very short induced little trip.  This week Lala and her take not much more than A DROP of James’s blood (and honestly he isn’t exactly a super vamp now is he???) and they trip for HOURS apparently.

OK Rant over … so yes off Lala and Lettie Mae go on their V Trip and they find Tara, back on the cross, and they get her down, and then she is gone and running through the forest (in a dress that looks suspiciously like one of the Maenad’s bridesmaid’s dresses from Season 2) and they find her at her old house crazily digging up random holes in the back yard like a crazy woman.  We don’t get to see WHAT she is digging for as Reverend Daniels chooses that moment to come to the house and shake them out of their little V trip.   Well Lettie Mae is none to thrilled with that and even Lafayette argues that Tara is trying to tell them something but the Rev has had enough and says she has to choose.  Well of course she chooses Tara but we have no idea at this point what that is going to mean.  To be continued next week I guess. 

So I am sure we all remember the Jason / Jessica / Violet issue from last week?  Well Violet starts this week with  whole new approach to things rather than KILL which has been her previous motto.  She decides the ultimate seduction is the way to go but even with that when Jessica calls Jason because she needs him to get Sookie so she can tell him about Bill he leaves to go to her.  Of course he thinks Violet is asleep at the time but once he leaves she goes mad and smashes everything up.  THERE is the Violet I have been expecting to see!  

Jason in the meantime has gone to get Sookie to take her to Jessica’s and they get the news that Jessica has discovered Bill is Hep V positive.  At first Jason won’t believe it but then Sookie realizes that when she scratched her arm with the big stick when she was playing bait she got drenched in Hep V Vamp goo and so it must be her.  They don’t want to believe it but it is off to the clinic they go for a blood test and promises to Jessica that they will let her know when they do.

Unsurprisingly the results are in and Sookie has Hep V and I am expecting that her weird Fairy blood is the cause for Bill’s symptoms and their rapid progress.  Guess Fairy blood isn’t good for everything after all! One good thing to come out of it all is that while they are waiting Jason decides he is going to break it off with Violet …. and when I say good I mean good viewing … obviously we ALL know Violet isn’t going to take that one lying down!

 Talking of Bill we see him still getting worse at the lawyer’s office and True Blood writers suddenly seem to remember that vampires during the day suffer from the bleeds. Oh well done them *rolls eyes* …. won’t even get started on that lack of continuity.  Any way  Bill finally gets to be seen and discovers that there are more problems for him than just his Hep V.  Under the law the will he has was made when he was “impersonating a human” and thus isn’t recognized as it was before vampires came out of the coffin.  As of right now, because of a law passed before the evil Governor Burrell lost his head, vampire progeny are NOT recognized as heirs and so his estate would pass to the government should anything happen to him.  Bill’s only recourse? Adopt Jessica legally and go that route …. which could take up to a year …. unless he wants to pay the lawyer $10 Million to expedite the process.   Bill tries to glamour her into skipping that but she only laughs, (as did I actually because really Bill? She is a lawyer that works with vampires all day … did you not think she would have those fancy contacts? … we will put that slip on your behalf down to the Hep V because your next actions amused me lol) ………. Bill’s next action was to stab her in the throat with a letter opener!! HA!!! Die greedy bitch Die!!!!  Even better he grabs a pencil as he leaves and takes out the vampire guard with it on his way out.  Well played Bill Compton … well played indeed!   He heads home to a waiting Jessica and Sookie who have been crying and it is obvious that they know.

Talking of  Bon Temps remember Jason’s warning to Adelyn and Wade? Well they chose to ignore it and are going for it right under Andy’s roof! Well that wasn’t smart and of course Andy catches them and sends a poor naked Wade running out into the yard with Andy chasing after him, Holly not far behind and Arlene screaming they are gonna wake the baby.   Andy wants to kill Wade, Holly looks like she wants to kill Andy and generally this is not good.  They all go their separate ways but we get to see Arlene and Holly head to Bellfleurs (yes remember that never actually got cleaned up? Well amazingly so did the writers) and they set to getting that place back ready to open and Arlene actually has some good advice.  When Andy comes by to apologize it is clear things aren’t going well but Arlene sends them off to TALK to the kids together.  Just one little problem with that …. when they get to the house the kids have gone!  Seriously? What did they expect? Andy …. well I can see why he didn’t get it but Holly really should have known better! I saw that coming a mile away.  Luckily for them they told Wade’s brother where they were going (Fort Bellefleur) but will they get there in time???   

Also in Bon Temps Nicole is being a pain in the ass and she wants to go “home” for good and she wants Sam to go with her. She basically calls the town crazy, Sam the mayor of crazy town and that he wants to be there crazier still.  Yes there was a whole lot of crazy being thrown around.  If it wasn’t for the fact that she was carrying Sam’s baby I would say good riddance! UGH she gets on my nerves!!! More wait and see stuff here too.

Now remember poor Pam and Eric trapped in a room? Well it turns out that some cowboy wanna be is now in charge of the Yokomoto corporation and he is broke!  Tru Blood is worthless and he wants to get his hands on Sarah Newlin and he thinks the dynamic duo can help.  Eric isn’t having any of it but with only minutes before sunrise Pam is thinking otherwise.  After a few minutes of Eric and Pam starting to burn (the main sticking point being that Eric wants to be the one to actually kill Sarah and Yoko guy not so keen) they come to a deal and our pair is safe ….. for now … and at sundown will be taking them all to Sarah’s sister’s house.  The only place Sarah could possibly go.

They were right, of course, and we get to see Sarah sneaking into her sister’s house during daylight only to be attacked by her sister.  Sadly her sister is too ill to really hurt her and ends up collapsing and coughing up blood before inflicting damage…. but the game is just beginning.   When Amber wakes back up Sarah lets her know that there was a cure.  A cure that Sarah drank all of making her now the only cure out there and she tells Amber to drink from her (Which honestly by the time Sarah had been halfway through the sentence if I was the sister I would have been biting already!).

We don’t get to see what happens but when Eric, Pam and the Yokomoto crew turn up at Amber’s house they see immediately that she is cured! Oh next week should be good! 

To finish up Jason goes home to tell Violet that things are over.  He gets himself all psyched up only to go in and discover that she isn’t there, the place is trashed and she has left a note saying that things aren’t working and goodbye.  Ummmmm what???  Oh don’t worry Violet hasn’t gone completely soft.  We see that she has tracked down Adelyn and Wade at Fort Bellefleur and convinces them to leave their phones and come with her because she knows a place where they can be alone and safe by telling them that with her fairy blood if she could find them the bad vamps could too.  Oh this isn’t going to be good.  Revenge is best in the sneaky way and taking the one thing that will hurt Jessica seems like a pretty good plan to me! 

And now we wait until next week which is looking like a more action packed ride. Adelyn and Wade are at the mercy of a crazy Violet, Eric and crew know that Sarah is their chance at a cure, and although we will have to deal with the inevitable Sookie and Bill drama I am OK with that. The game is well and truly on now.  Odds are changing with a cure now in play (honestly did anyone doubt that would happen?) and so who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (Although notable mention of Bill killing the lawyer and the vamp “guard” …. THAT was awesome! )

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

My Favorite Lines From “Karma”

• Eric – “Our first sunrise together”
• Pam – “I imagined my death many times but I never thought I would meet the sun in some place with wall to wall carpet”
• Eric “When I find her I am going to wrap my hands around her neck and snap her little blonde bobble head”
• Nicole – “This town is fucking crazy and you are the mayor of crazy!” 
• Jason – “Bill was a bone fide vampire God not six months ago. ”
• Arlene  – “Shit happens Holly – ya clean it up.”
  
• Sookie – “Life’s too short to be with someone you don’t love.”
• Amber – “You can’t just dye your hair, and blow a guru, and absolve yourself of all the horrific shit you have done in your life.”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 4 – “Death Is Not The End” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? I warn you …. this is a long one ….. Right then here we go!! Wow can you believe we are on the 4th episode already? That means we are almost halfway through.  Not liking that.  Neither did I really care for the beginning of this week’s episode, which was of course dealing with the big death last week.  We have Sookie calling Jackson to tell him his son is dead and then (far more moving) we have Jason calling Hoyt to tell him that Maxine has passed.  Poor Hoyt …. and poor Jason <3.  They did a really good job here what with Jason having grown up with Hoyt but Jessica’s glamour still working its vampire magic. Awwwwwww. Wonder what will happen when he comes back to Bon Temps.  I guess we will see ……… After the phone call Jason has decided he is done with everything but Sookie gives him the “Man Up” speech because Andy is gone (to look after Holly) and so he is all that is left.  Well who would have thought THAT would have been the case 6 seasons ago???  ***Opening Credits ….. I still love this song ………***

As with most episodes, by far the best thing in it were the moments with Eric and Pam and in particular the flashbacks.  I am loving getting more of their history together, especially when it involves 80’s and 90’s flashbacks.  Oh the memories …. but I digress ….. We start on a plane with Eric and Pam heading to Baton Rouge because Pam has decided that is where Sarah is likely to have reached out.  Eric is not amused by this and stops feeding on the lovely Air Hostess to demand they go to Shreveport to get Willa.   Eric and Pam are so great with the way they play off each other but Eric lets it slip that he is dying which Victoria (pretty Air Hostess) is unamused about as she is now going to lose her job.  I know it’s wrong but I LOVE that neither Eric nor Pam care one bit!! YES!!! This is the Eric and Pam we want to see.  The looks they share, their chemistry is just awesome…..  I love them!  

We now get the first of several flashbacks but as they are all related and are BY FAR the best bit of this entire episode I am going to put them all together …. because honestly? I want to lol.

Remember last week Pam and Eric got taken by the Yokomoto corporation after they dispensed with Sylvie back in 1986?  Well this flashback picks up right after that with Pam and Eric being “released” in Shreveport in a parking lot that will look very familiar to all the fans.  Yes this is where they get Fangtasia. But wait …… it is not the Fangtasia we know and love …. it is …. a VIDEO RENTAL STORE lmao!!! Complete with extra porn section in the basement!!!   Oh Pam is so disgusted by the whole thing it is hilarious!! We get to meet The Magister (remember him) and we learn that he made Eric Sheriff (Something Eric actually looks rather pleased about) because he wants to be able to keep an eye on him.  They learn that this punishment (running the store) is basically a forever thing at this point and when The Magsiter tosses Pam the keys she ignores them as they smack her in the chest and fall to the floor.  Oh it was so well done!! Bravo!!!  Now pay attention here …. The Magister throws out that there is an abandoned, walled up tunnel behind the basement …… FULL OF HISTORY he says ….. but that will be VERY important later.   ****OK mini side rant here ….. do we have different writers doing the flashback things?  They are so awesome with the details and the remembering things, and adding in little “extras” …. where is that in the MAIN show??? Hmmmmmm??? Continuity has just LEFT THE BUILDING with pretty much everything else…….. UGH OK I’m done for the moment … back to the flashbacks …..****

We jump to 1996 and poor Pam is STILL stuck working in that horrid little video store which is now upgrading to DVDs.   In walks a nerdy looking brunette with a list of obscure vampire movies she wants to watch.  Pam is actually impressed and the selections and half listens as the girl goes on and on about the course she is taking about monsters being misunderstood.   Suddenly out walks Eric …. in full 90’s boy band style ….with the background music of “I would die for you” …..  LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!!! And then I realize …. IT’S GINGER!!!! HA!!!! Without the blonde hair and minus the screaming I didn’t see it at first….. and well she just about dies …. right there on the spot.  Jaw on the floor …. ummmmm yes that might have been my reaction too …. WOW …. ummmmm where was I ……. oh yes so Ginger meets Eric and decides she wants to work there … and well the rest is history ….. actually we get a little more history …. and I LOVE it!!

Fast forward to 2006 and the vamps are coming out of the coffin and we see Ginger (looking much more like the Ginger we all know) getting out of a hearse, with a big chair, and heading into the video shop where they are still working.   Pam is waiting for her and is unamused by the chair until Ginger lays out the whole plan for Fangtasia, right down to Eric sitting up on the throne we all know and love.  Pam loves the idea …. and totally steals is – glamouring Ginger into thinking it was Pam’s idea in the first place.  Awesome!!!!!   Flash forward to Eric and Pam back on the plane and Eric is smiling and lovingly calls Pam a Bitch ….. but she says “but you still love me” ….. and he looks at her and just says “always”.  Awwwwwwww ❤ such a look. Just perfect!!!  I’m telling you I would watch a whole series just about these too!!!! FANGTASTIC!!!! 

Right then back to the rest of what is going on …….. Sookie, Jason, and Sam head over to see Andy and Holly and find Coby and Lisa who Sookie decides to go talk to.  Lisa is moaning that everyone is treating them like they are stupid but they know things are wrong.  After a heart to heart with the (now not so little) kids Sookie promises that she will bring their Mom back.  UGH Stupid Sookie!!! You know better than to make promises like that! Especially with the kill count this season.   Anyway Sookie knows that Holly knows what happened and that it was just glamoured away so Sookie heads in to fix that. Remember her little trick with the Black Eyes back in Season 2? Yup she can MAKE you remember and she does just that with Holly.  Oh it isn’t pretty and leaves Holly a snivelling mess for poor Andy to deal with but they don’t have time for that!! Sookie does leave him with a piece of advice ….”We like to be held”…. well OK then!!!  So they know where the survivors are and they have a plan! Well Sookie has a plan …. she is going to Bills …. in the middle of the day ….. Jason and Sam …. they have to go tell Rosie that Kevin is dead.

Staying with Jason and Sam for a moment, Sam has a little melt down and thinks he is going to go to Fangtasia now and rescue Nicole (STUPID SAM!!!!!) but Jason manages to stop him (by threatening to shoot him in the head) and they eventually get to Rosie’s and she is not happy to see them and even less happy with the news.  She makes them promise that they will avenge Kevin which, of course, they promise to do.

Over at Bill’s house Jessica and James are fighting over the fact that Jessica isn’t healing because she isn’t eating.  Apparently it has been months.  Hmmmmm they do like to change how long these vamps can go without feeding.  James goes to get Bill and Bill tries to convince her but is not doing a very good job.  Sookie turns up in the middle of it all and decides that Jessica can feed off of her.  Jessica isn’t amused because as she points out Sookie is a fairy but Sookie says she trusts her.   Sookie gets Bill and James to leave and then lays one of the best guilt trips on Jessica that I have heard in ages.  Basically Sookie doesn’t care what is going on with Jessica and her life but she needs help and Sookie has been good to Jessica so Jessica needs to suck it up and help her!   Amazingly THIS WORKS but she won’t feed off Sookie and so they send for James’s human … the wonderful Lafayette!!!! 

This leads to a wonderful scene! Nelson Ellis is OUTSTANDING this week with just the right amount of sass, sympathy, and use of the word “Hookah” to convince Jessica that he is a bad person too.  He misses Jesus and it is OK not to be perfect and not to forgive yourself but you have to keep going.   Add to that the looks that James and Lala share and yes I will admit it. My heart melted.  Awwwww <3.  Sorry Jessica I am routing for them to hook up….. the sooner the better. 

Sookie is plotting with Bill but he points out that generally the vampires around are not really going to be invested in going to a fight at Fangtasia with the H Vamps.  They have everything to lose and nothing to gain.  When asked why he is going he explains it is because he owes Sookie everything.  You know Bill …… when you act like season 1 Bill you aren’t so bad after all.  So Sookie decides Bill needs to eat ……because he needs to be at his strongest to fight ……. but  you know personally I think Sookie just wanted a good bite.  Obviously missing it having been with a wolf for 6 months.  Guessing a wolf bite wouldn’t be so appealing lol

So night has fallen and the troops have gathered to plan their attack.  Hmmmm troops might be a tad optimistic sounding as we have Sookie, Bill, Jason, Sam, Jessica, James, Violet, and 2 of James’s band mates (also vamps) Michael and Keith. Jason tries to give a rousing speech but compares it to Normandy and obviously doesn’t get much response as Normandy left beaches stained with allied blood ….. but fear not!! Eric and Pam have arrived.  Obviously looking for Willa (well on the pretense of looking for Willa) and Pam bitches that Sookie is there.  Glad to see that they are at least consistent with that but Eric does listen and “calls” Willa.  Eric, however, obviously still loves Sookie and takes a moment alone with her to discover what trouble she has gotten herself into this time.  He is appropriately disgusted about her “wolf” relationship but drops it when he sees she is hurting.  The time between them is touching and you can see how much Eric still cares and it would seem Sookie does too.  Perhaps the triangle is about to come back.  I was sure the writers were heading towards Sookie and Bill ….. but who knows.  Hmmmmmm need to ponder that. Also need to ponder the lack of Eric or Pam making any kind of negative comment to Jason about Sarah being alive.   Pam may secretly be grateful at this point as it is fueling Eric’s will to live …. but Eric … he looked pissed last week.  I can’t believe there wouldn’t even be a passing jibe??? Ugh!  Damn Writers!

Willa arrives and is not a happy babyvamp.   She wants to talk about her abandonment NOW!!! But Eric has other plans and uses the old fail safe “as you maker I command you” trick and later it is 😀

So off to battle they go …. the crew above with the additions of Eric, Pam, and Willa but Eric actually has a plan.  Remember that bricked up tunnel?  Well they are going to bust in and rescue the prisoners that way!!  Awesome!!! Except when they get there Eric has pretty much lost all his strength and after a pitiful few attempts Bill smashes down the wall in one punch …. ummmmm NO!!!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! UGH!!! That is SO WRONG!!! On SOOOOOOO many levels wrong!!!! So let me ask you this? If H Vamps are so weak even in the early stages (he is level 1) and HE has just FED well and recently …… why the hell are the other vamps any problem at all?? You have a shifter and a bunch of healthy vamps?  What the hell writers???? Make your mind up!!!! STUPID!!!!!

Anyway Sam goes in first (as a rat) and transforms and freaks Arlene and Jane (which is mildly amusing …. although I would have had Arlene making a comment about Sam being naked ….. but maybe that is me being a perv) ……. so prisoners found Sam lets them know that vamps are coming in to rescue them and they need to TRUST them.  The 3 prisoners are not too amused but seriously at this point what choice do they have? Well as Sam scurries back off as a rat it would seem that they might be too late for one of them because here comes an H Vamp and he is hungry!!  Back at the tunnel entrance it is decided that Pam and Bill will go rescue the humans (because Eric is so week) but by the time they get there Arlene is already upstairs about to be eaten.   The other 2 saved Bill decides to go after Arlene but Pam gives him a couple of words of advice …… not to try too hard to be a hero .. because she says it is never going to happen with Sookie the way he wants … not tonight …. not ever.  Hmmmmmm foreshadowing?  Certainly interesting to say the least. 

But Bill is not the only one with a plan.  Eric has decided to go through the front door, claiming he needs asylum and he brings his own human (no prizes for guessing who that is …..) Now apparently despite their apparent apathy previously, these H Vamps do have a thing for fairy blood after all ….. not that they know what it is but it is Sookie smelling so good that tempts them to let him in.   Arlene is close to death on the table and Eric is trying to buy time with the crazy H Vamps who amazingly enough all seem together enough to hold it together for this little chit chat.  Come on cavalry where are you??

Oh wait …. unexpected help? Problems? Ummmm a bit of both really as the remainder of the “Wanna be Justice League Crew” (Wanna be Mayor, Kenya, Rosie, annoying mouthy girl, and another guy along with a few others ) pull in to the parking lot armed with a Molotov cocktail. FIRE!!!! Just as our hero team is coming up the back way.  Well all hell erupts.  As the vamps go flying out the front door a bunch are picked off by the “Wanna Be League” all armed with guns and wooden bullets until a few break through to kill most of the humans off (yup none of you will be missed).   This gives the other vamps time to get out the back way and we get to see a matrix style, all hell break loose battle between the vamps and it seems that all the H Vamps get killed off and our team escapes unscathed.

That being said Sookie is trapped inside a burning Fangtasia with a dying Arlene and Eric unable to help as his infected blood (I’m assuming) is no good for healing.  She tells him to get a “Healthy” vamp.  Now why he doesn’t just “Call” Willa is anybody’s guess …… but he doesn’t …. instead he’s about to leave when Bill appears and stakes a rogue H Vamp by ripping off one of the handles from behind the bar (Season 1 Longshadow anyone????).  Pam comes in with a fire extinguisher and deals with the fire issue and gets a wonderful look from Eric (I am telling you this week was just full of them) and then she hears them outside about to throw in another flaming bottle and rushes out, snatches the bottle and sets the guy on fire.  Awesome!! 

Bill is about to give Arlene his blood when he feels Jessica in trouble so leaves to help her and Eric comes to the rescue bringing Keith.  Now Arlene is seeing Terry and hearing Terry (although for a moment Terry is the evil H Vamp but Jason shoots that one … well done Jason)  and for a moment I really thought that Arlene was about to be the next victim of this season’s slaughter run as we get to see Terry too but he tells Arlene to stay and she starts to come round.  Now she shares a little look with Keith the vampire.  Hmmmmmmm is that going to be something I wonder.  Lots to think on this episode.

We end with it being confirmed that all the H Vamps are in fact goo.  And judging by the number of bodies it looks like all the “Wanna be Justice League” are dead too with the main cast notables being Kenya and Rosie.  Pam is shouting for Eric and for a moment you wonder if perhaps he is one of the goo piles and we missed it ….. but fear not.  Eric is in a car eating Rosie.   Well Rosie there were worse ways you could have died.  Eric returns to the bar and shares a beautiful look with Sookie ….. and the credits roll …… 

And now we wait until next week!!!  Only 6 installments left…. but already things seem to be wrapping up faster than I would have expected so I am hoping they will focus on the hunt for Sarah and hopefully a cure for Eric?!  Who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Kenya
Rosie

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

My Favorite Lines From “Death Is Not The End”

• Jackson – ”He loved the fuck out of you Sookie”
• Pam – “I’m sorry …. did we fuck and I blocked it out”
• Eric- “Welcome to our shithole”
• Bill – “I Owe You Everything”
• Lafayette – “Step aside Hookah ….. give a real hookah a shot”
• Pam – “Ginger – look at yourself and look at me …. who has better taste?”
• Ginger – “Eric Northman is nothing if he isn’t fucking  sex on a throne” 
• Eric – “Pam tells me you wrote a book where you claim no longer to be an asshole …. is it true?”
  
• Pam – “She’s like a fucking fungus that just won’t go away”
• Eric – “You will not drink her blood …. you will sip it … like a nice glass of barbaresco”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 3 – “Fire In The Hole” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right then here we go!! After last week’s extremely annoying day set episode this week is much more interesting and action packed mainly because it all happens at night and so we get to see our vamps!! YAY!! And not just the H Vamps either!!!  Some awesome Eric and Pam action coming up!!

The episode starts though in California … ummmmm WHAT??? At a Yoga class hosted by Guru Sanbir Dutta (Nope that isn’t going to be important at all but hey I figured out the name so figured I would share lol) and guess who is taking the class … a Miss Sarah Newlin!  Yes she’s back everyone!! Complete with dyed hair and a new name (Newmi lol) and keeping with her typical theme of sleeping with the power people (in this case Guru Sanbir who is all about hot bodies and being in the “now” with “yourself”).   More about those shenanigans later! (Opening Credits Go Here)

After the credits we go to Eric and Pam … YES This is what we all want to see …. well OK what I want to see anyway ……. And Pam is demanding to know how long Eric has had the disease and is very unimpressed that he has given up.  Eric lets us know that it has been about a month but after everything for him this is the end.  He admits he didn’t get it on purpose but he didn’t try not to get it either.  I love Eric and Pam! I love that she never gives up on him even telling him that she has searched the whole planet for him and that she would have continued.  This actually amuses Eric who claims that she wouldn’t have found him if he hadn’t been sick but the smile belies otherwise.  This is by far one of my favorite Maker / Child relationships ever.  Pam confirms that Tara is in fact gone as she felt her die while she was in Morocco (Well strike one for me ….. I was sure she was still around.  DAMN) … anyway they share another moment about playing “the Bucket Game” and things are just lovely.  You know I could watch a whole show just with these two ……. screw all the other storylines!.   Pam says that Eric’s moping can’t all be about Godric and Nora .. or even Sylvie … Ummmmmm WHAT NOW??? Who is Sylvie?? Oh never mind we get a flashback to answer that question … in fact we get a series of flashbacks over the show so I will put them all in to one ready to go flashback recap …

Flashback recap – France 1986 (Based on the Fact that Pam was turned in 1905 and she states they have been together 81 years)

Eric is having a nice little fling with the lovely French Sylvie, daughter of Vineyard owner.  She knows he is a vampire and we have some wonderful sex, naked Eric, and biting.  Yup this episode is definitely better than last weeks 😀 ….. It would appear that Eric is more than a little smitten with Sylvie …… and is not happy to be interrupted from his moonlight naked frolicking  by non other than Nan Flannigan!!! Ha ….. welcome back Nan we missed you!  Sent by none other than Nora no less.   Well Eric and Pam are in a lot of trouble for not playing by the vamp rules.  (LOVE 80’s Pam!).  They didn’t check in with the sheriff, they aren’t being especially discreet and with Tru Blood about to be released by the Yakinomo  corporation (Some nice mainstreaming references to the drink that remind me of S1 here) and The Authority need them to start behaving.  Pam is her wonderful self telling Nan that she doesn’t like you.  Nan replies under other circumstances she thinks they could be friends but after Pam looks at her shoes and agrees Nan goes back to being her normal bitchy self and points out these are NOT other circumstances.   As usual Pam realizes the gravity of the situation first and agrees to behave but Eric is more interested in Sylvie (really?? She’s not THAT great … maybe she has a trace of Fae in her to make her taste extra yummy) and tells the Nan and the people she represents to “Go “Fuck Themselves”.  Hmmm that might not have been his brightest move.  Pam is worried after Nan leaves but Eric vows to protect her.

Still in France we see Pam having fun with a French Fluzy of her own but things are about to go very wrong as a team of warriors head into their building.  Next thing we hear is Pam yelling to Eric (who is busy in the yard doing some very bad things with Sylvie … Sexy Eric twice in one episode … yummy) and Eric is really not happy about the interruption until he turns to see that she is Silvered (silver choke collar) held by several Japanese warriors with a Silver blade at her throat .  He works out quickly that  they mean business but concludes that if they were going to kill them they would have done it already.  He tries attacking one as they grab Sylvie but the threat to Pam is too much.  When he finds out they were sent by the Yakinomo corporation he tries to bribe them but this fails too. They are on a mission.  We learn that the Authority wants Eric alive so killing him is not an option and they demand, even after he agrees to their demands, that either Sylvie or Pam has to die. Poor Eric looks heartbroken when they won’t let him die instead and Pam and Eric change the most amazing look and he says Pam lives.  Awwwwwww ❤   Sorry Sylvie, time’s up and her end is swift and final with a sword through the gut with a sad smile from Eric and he falls to his knees only to be dragged away silvered along with Pam.  Guess we will learn about that later. ***End Flashback***

Eric seems resigned and nothing Pam is saying is having much reaction until suddenly she mentions Sarah Newlin and lets Eric know she is Alive.  Jason never killed her and Pam is going after her.  This lights Eric fire and now he is MAD and they are going to find her together!! ooooh YAY!!! Welcome back Eric!!! Was worried you were going to be all pathetic this season for a minute! I am not convinced they will save the character but at least he may go out with a bang!!!! Bring on the road trip (Oh wait that won’t be at least until next week … well at least there is something to look forward to!!

Back in Bon Temps Alcide has finally realized that Sookie is gone and is not a happy bunny … well wolf I suppose … and he sniffs her out (Yup literally ….I know …. THAT’s ATTRACTIVE) … over to Bill’s house where he is really mad and smashes down the door.  Sadly for Alcide, Sookie has other plans and has convinced Bill she has a plan and they have taken off in Bill’s car so she can play vampire bait for the H Vamps and not tell anyone else what’s going on.  Of course we all know that Bill just wants her back so he will go along with pretty much anything at this point.   Now don’t get me wrong, I know many people are all anti Bill/Sookie but I kinda like this whole back to season 1 vibe they are playing.  At this point I can’t stand the wolf, Sam is annoying, and well I have pretty much always figured she didn’t deserve Eric after the way she treated him …… so Bill works for me.  If this is the direction it ends in I am fine with it.   There were some cute moments with Bill up in a tree “keeping watch” as Sookie sits there wondering why the H Vamps are taking so long to get to her.  A couple of “moments” are shared but perhaps the most noticeable one is when she says she knows Alcide loves her more than she loves him. Well DUH!!!! We can all see you love Bill more than him and you claim to pretty much hate him half the time.  Alcide was the “safe” option and  she knew it.  So anyway that is what is going on with them while Alcide is running around in wolf form trying to track them down.   See Sookie is so damn selfish she couldn’t even leave him a note! UGH!!! Oh yes we also had some boring Bill Flashbacks to when he was going off to war with him getting pictures taken with his wife and kids…. and the photographer was a Fortenberry .. hmmmmm wonder if that will be important.  Anyway these flashbacks were a LOT less interesting than the Pam / Eric ones! No shocker there!

The H Vamps holed up at Fangtasia have a problem … not enough blood.  They have to feed every hour (well at least one of them does …. seriously I tell you making the rules up as they go along) …. and noone seems to be mentioning the loss of Ms Harris last week or the fact that leaves one less vamp to feed.  Who knows how many are actually in the club at this point but we learn they are down to 4 humans (5 if you could the baby – so that is Holly, Arlene, Nicole, and Jane) and so they need to go find more.  Oooooh Sookie being vampire bait might actually help them ….. although one bite of her and none of them is stopping but whatever …… they decide that a group will have to go  and they go to the basement to find their “Trail Mix” to take with them as they can’t go long enough to hunt without a feed bag.  When they get down there Holly has cast a “sort of”  circle and they are chanting but it doesn’t get them anything other than Harry Potter taunts and Holy gets to go hunting with them.  The crap  H Vamps actually manage to fins a couple of stragglers in the woods (but not Sookie yet) and send them back to Fangtasia with a couple of the familiar looking H Vamps  (The Dark Haired Girl and the Brit) while the rest keep on hunting ….. more on the H Vamp hunting party later!

Right then remember the “Wanna be Justice League” and all the drama going on with that.  Well things certainly get interesting this week.  Andy and Jessica get Adelyn and Wade out of the jail and then they go off to gather up Jason and Violet (who are in the middle of a big fight about what a “Real Man” is.  Mildy interesting because Jason now wants a family (yes he has figured out it would mean adoption) and Violet tells him to stop being such a girl.  Violet is still not happy with Jessica but she lets her in but under her rules and they can have a truce until they find Sookie.  They leave Adelyn and Wade at Jason’s house and off they go on a hunt!

Sam is visiting with the reverend (With his gay vampire watcher Matt lurking in the doorway)  trying to figure out the meaning of all this and how tragic it would be to be sitting there having frozen pizza with just no hope.  That that was just it. Soo the rev and Sam are having a big faith heart to heart when Willa shows up with Lettie Mae high on V and the Rev has everyone else leave so he can sort out the crazy one.

Once the Rev is sorted with Lettie Mae he comes to find Willa and feed her and while she’s feeding she hears all about how the rev ended up there and that Lettie Mae and him basically saved each other. Ummmmmm wait a minute didn’t the Rev have a wife there already earlier in the series before him and Lettie Mae got together? As in he was cheating on his wife with her? Did I make that up ….. I don’t have time to rewatch and check right now but I am pretty sure that is what happened there and he didn’t arrive at a boarded up church and find a drunk Lettie Mae sitting there waiting for him and he knew his purpose.  Hmmmmmmm damn you writers!!! Now I need to go find that …. well later …… ugh sidetracked.  Anyway basically he explains to Willa that she can’t stay there because Lettie Mae won’t stop finding excuses to get her blood and so he thanks her for everything and then rescinds her invitation.  Poor Willa 😦 

Sam and Matt leave and are driving along when they run into the much enlarged “Wanna Be Justice League” group now starring, Maxine, Kenya, Rocky  and well as the already very annoying Vince the wanna be mayor, all armed with guns and wooden bullets which they suddenly use to kill Matt so he is now a pile of goo.   Vince has decided he is now Mayor and when Sam refuses to go away they get ready to shoot him but he turns into an owl and flies away.  Well then that secret is well and truly out the bag now!

Jason, Andy, Jessica an Violet find Sam’s abandoned truck shortly after and the vamps spot the goo remains of Matt and go all fangy.  We hear the “Wanna be Justice League” in the woods and then suddenly they appear en masse in front of our fab 4.  Andy demands to know where the Mayor is to learn that he has flown away and Vince thinks he is mayor now! Jason makes a stand and tells them all just to get out of the way because they can’t do anything but Maxine gets all mouthy and decides she wants to kill Jessica (for all the mean things she did to Hoyt) and Jason (well because he was kinda to blame too)  …. and she shoots Jessica in the shoulder! Good job she is a bad shot!  Violet takes action and rushes forward and rips Maxine’s heart right out of her chest and drops it on the floor, to be shortly followed by a very dead Maxine.   Andy shouts for Rocky as the rest of the rabble disperse and Violet races off to get him and brings him back from the woods even managing to remember the directive to keep him alive!! Back at the car there is concern that Jessica isn’t healing.  She claims she doesn’t know why.  Is she stupid? She needs to FEED!!!!  Isn’t that instinct?  Shouldn’t her fangs pop out instinctively when food is near because she needs it.  WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THESE WRITERS GRRRRRRR!!!!!

OK enough annoyance for the moment … let’s go to  Lafayette.  We haven’t seen much of him this episode but when we do he is dancing his sexy little ass off and enjoying the liquid side of life until James shows up.  James is on the hunt for weed because apparently vamps get high from smoking (ummmm that is a made up rule) ….. but as Lala only has pills Lala improvises and takes a nice little cocktail for James to then enjoy once it gets into his bloodstream.  I am pretty damn sure that isn’t how this works …………. oh whatever …… they aren’t sticking to any rules so why the hell not this I guess.   James and Lala get nice and high on his deconstructed / reconstructed drug concoction and doze off for a bit ….. a little bit too much because James thinks Lala has overdosed and won’t wake up.  False alarm! Lala is fine …. or in his words “A Pro-fess- ion-alle” and they share a moment.  James reminds Lala he has a girlfriend but I don’t think this is the end of that.  I like James … he’s hot and amusing.  Let’s hope he can keep Lafayette safe the rest of the season.  At this rate though they will both be dead next week *sigh*

Remember the Sarah Newlin shenanigans I mentioned at the beginning? Well we get to see she is sleeping with the weird Guru and he seems to be besotted with her.  Well that isn’t going to last long because as he sends her off to get a bottle of wine from the cellar those pesky Yakinomo corporation samari’s are back …… and I don’t think they are very happy with how Sarah left their deal last season and they find the Guru naked and surprised.  When he confirms that Sarah has been but refuses to say where she is now they cut off his head and we see Sarah in the wine cellar behind a closed door as her Guru’s blood pours under the door.  Oooooh this isn’t going to be good.   Guess we will see more about that next week! 

To finish this week everything is going to happen at once.   Alcide and Sam both meet in the woods and transform just out of sight of some of the scattered Justice League … ummmmm seriously? A dog and a wolf and neither of you smelled people right there? Luckily the JL idiots took too long to make the shot and they transformed back and went off running together in search of Sookie.  Sookie who is bored with the waiting game insulted that she thought she smelled special but they aren’t rushing to get her. We see her sharpening a wooden stake but not to do anything productive with ….. no she is going to gash her arm to guarantee that the H Vamps want to come eat her!  It works too as Holly comes out of the bushes bitten and confused so you know that the H Vamps are not far behind.  Sadly for everyone the H Vamps are prepared for vamps this time and they silver Bill so he is now useless and about to be stabbed by one of the H Vamps when Alcide and Sam appear and tear him apart, in the meantime Andy, Jason, Jessica and Violet start shooting wildly and explode all the H Vamps covering Sookie in goo which she desperately tries not to get in her mouth (or her eyes because I guess you can get infected that way too).  Alcide is mad but his first concern is getting Sookie clean which amazingly Violet rushes her to the river to wash her off.  Alcide is really mad at Bill and blames him for agreeing with her when suddenly shots ring out from the woods and Alcide takes one to the forehead and one to the chest and collapses as Jason realizes they are being shot at from the trees and turns to protect them but it is too late for Alcide.  Alcide is dead.  Jessica offers to turn him but Sookie knows that isn’t what he would have wanted and says she made that decision before and it didn’t turn out well and so we end with  Andy standing over the still alive Lou (one of the Justice League) and he leaving him to die and Sookie crying over a naked Alcide’s dead body.

I think the theme this season is unexpected death whether it has a point or not.  Not sure this is the best way for them to make a statement.  So far all the main character deaths (apart from Maxine I suppose) have been pretty pointless if you ask me.  Just killing them off for the sake of a main character death and not adding to the story.  Will it get people talking about it? I’m sure ….. will it boost ratings ….. I don’t think so.  Much as junkies like me will watch until the end, those that pass through will be bored very quickly.  If they are trying to be Game Of Thrones with no on is safe I get it.  But this is NOT Game of Thrones and I don’t like it!

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  Only 7 installments left…. I know there will be tears …..Nobody is safe!!  Who will make it to the end???  Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide

 

My Favorite Lines From “Fire In The Hole”

• Pam– “I searched the whole fucking planet for you”
• Eric – “It Feels Better In The Moonlight”
• Eric- “And Everyone Lived Bored And Suicidely Every After” (Love this reference to Mainstreaming that pops up in S1
• Rev Daniels – “You got to have Faith” (Ha ha ha ha Fright Night Anyone????)
• Violet – “One town of dead people and you are going to let it turn you into a girl?”
• Sookie – “When we say stuff we can’t decide how people are going to take it.”
• Sookie – “I Taste Like Sunshine And Flowers And I’m Right Fucking Here!

True Blood Season 7 Ep 2 – “I Found You” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right then here we go!!  At the end of last week we had … well not a whole lot really. Sookie was preaching in the church and there was no cliffhanger to speak of.

This week opens NOT in Bon Temps at all but rather somewhere exotic with ERIC standing by a window and Jason coming to find him … wait Jason???? Ummmmmm OK Brian Buckner I see where this is going and sure enough insert Eric / Jason sexy type dream sequence.   Not bad …. I never realized how short Jason was ….. and it was enough man on man action that my husband was groaning lol but over all other than putting Eric back on the screen it seemed kinda pointless. Kudos to them though ….. it was believable.  Great chemistry 😀  The look Eric gave when he grabbed Jason by the throat and threw him to the chair?? Ummmmmm yes please!!!!  Jason is crazy as ever and you never know what what is going to come out of his mouth so that was kinda fun and Eric can just stand there and look pretty …. that works.  I’m going to be sad if they kill Jason off… poor Jason .. he was on my watch list last season as one of the most likely to die …. would hate to see him survive that only to die this season :(.   That being said ….. with this happening BEFORE the credits it certainly woke me up …… but that was a highlight … it is pretty much ALL down hill from here (Except a brief minute at the end but you will have to wait for that). …. Oh and Jason waking from his dream in the Church … hilarious!!

So Eric is not dead …. shocker …. yes well we all knew he would be appearing and his name is back in the credits so that was all obviously just to try and mess with bloggers like me.  Rutina Wesley is now absent from said credits (despite making a brief appearance this week)  so I guess well played? If this is the best “Game” you have for us bloggers Brian Buckner you get a C- Must Try Harder.  You know if they show wasn’t falling apart in front of our eyes we would have more SHOW stuff to focus on.

Right then on with the rest of the episode that can pretty much be set into 3 little boxes, none of which I would personally bother to open!  This whole episode is basically set during the day which means we get little to know vamp interaction and the stuff we do is from Hep V vamps we know little about and care about the same amount!  We start with most of the town together and Sookie realizing that no one knows what to do but she has a plan because she found a body in the woods.  Yup at this point nobody even asks why this is the first time this is coming up *sigh* ……. Anyway this leads to the decision that the box 1 action will consist of Sookie, Jason, Alcide, Sam, and Andy all leaving to investigate the body.  Box 2 action will consist of the adventures over at Fangtasia with the Hep V Vamps and their well known prisoners, and Box 3 will be the “Wanna Be Justice League” from last week and the rest of the town that are “sorting things out” including Lettie Mae, Lafayette (Briefly) and Adelyn.

BOX 1 – Sookie, Jason, Alcide, Sam, and Andy  and their out of town adventure.  They start by going back to the body Sookie found and getting an address off her license.  Jason and Andy so a bit of very unconvincing police work and then after trying to call the mayor and sheriff of the other town (Yes they know their numbers … not they aren’t saved because they dial them in …. *rolls eyes at the stupidity*) And off they go on their road trip to Saint Alise.  When they arrive they find is a totally deserted place with everything boarded up, spray painted messages everywhere with things like FEMA HELP and SOS and NO signs of anything living (or Unliving).

They find a mass grave filled with the remains on the town, at least those that they assume weren’t taken for snacks on the go….. as Sookie puts it they were either “killed or tooken”.    They manage to find the dead woman’s house and Jason is able to use “Pizza Forensics” to establish that they have been gone about 2 1/2 days.  For those not familiar with this tactic it involves eating left of pizza found on a table.  Must have been good because as the investigation continues he continues eating.

Sookie finds the bedroom and a diary and we get to hear her read the diary entries (Which are from 2010 and 2011 although happening just a couple of days ago so I guess that is where we are in the True Blood universe date wise).   We learn that the dead girl  had a fling with a vamp just like Sookie right down to the trip to Fangtasia, and they thought it was love.  Some great flashbacks to S1 ….. remember S1 …. when this show was awesome beyond belief and we thought nothing would ever match it *sigh* ….. anyway we learn that as we thought the vamps came, destroyed everyone and everything, and didn’t even spare a baby.  I think this was supposed to be dramatic and hard hitting but I’m afraid by this point in this week’s episode all I could think was hmmmmm so it it is 2011.  You know that this all making Sookie think about Bill ……. Ooooh Alcide I knew a wolf just wasn’t going to hack it Mwahahahahahahaha.  So after all that they go back to Bon Temps (after Alcide having a moment in the car where he says they could just keep driving…… UGH Alcide you REALLY suck! And not in the fun vampy way!)

 

BOX 2 – The Hep V Vamps holed up at Fangtasia with Holly, Arlene, Nicole and Jane.  The vamps aren’t happy that one of their own killed Kevin and ate him all by themselves.  Blood is short and they need to learn to share.   Apparently these Hep V Vamps don’t sleep during the day much, or if they do they have a watch set for 15 minutes to keep waking them up? Not sure what the hell is going on with that but it is all rather pointless.  They are all hungry, they are irritated because Bon Temps had vampires protecting them, oh and they don’t seem to get the bleeds.  Actually no vamps seem to get the bleeds by staying up anymore.  Jessica is up during the day (no bleeds even though as she hasn’t fed recently to the point where her own fang marks on her arm from feeding Adelyn aren’t healing?), We see Willa up in the day (although admittedly not for a prolonged period), anyway I digress.  So yes Hep V Vamps are hungry and they have a system in which they give each other titles…. like Reaper.  The reaper is the one that goes to fetch the prisoner and bring them up to feed the others (preferably without eating them all on the way).  The reaper that went for Kevin failed and ate him all so a new reaper is appointed.

This reaper is apparently a teacher that used to teach Arlene and Holly’s kids.  Now this is important because she recognizes Arlene and so chooses someone else to eat.  Later they manage to talk to her and come up with a plan for them to escape. On a side note when the girls are discussing that they know her Nicole comments that she is a reaper?  Ummmmmmm yes well they just made that up for this episode … guess they wanted to make the most of it.  Seriously writers …. PLEASE sort it out!!! Continuity FAIL!

The teacher works out if she is the sleep monitor she can rescue Arlene and the others. So she gets her watch (set at 14 1/2 minutes) and she goes down to get them letting them know they have 12 minutes to escape.  She says she will need to feed on one of them before she will be strong enough and Arlene volunteers.   The Vamp says it has to be the femoral artery because if they are caught the bite marks need to be hidden.  Arlene is unamused but agrees (I mean really what choice does she have?) and vamp goes in for a bite.  First bite seems OK but then it all gets weird ……. suddenly the vamp stops feeding, looks up and the veins in her face are deteriorating fast and her eyes glaze and she dives back at Arlene’s leg and starts munching like her undead life depends on it … which I am guessing it did because suddenly she is vamp goo.  Now was it just her Hep V finally getting her? We know Arlene isn’t infected so her blood wouldn’t be tainted and make her worse that quickly …… OR are we going to find out somehow that Arlene has something in her that kills the Hep V vamps? I mean they have said no new big bad villains this season but that doesn’t mean no new supes?? Hmmmmm will have to think some more on that.  Either way they are all still trapped and now covered in goo and we will have to see what happens next week. 

BOX 3 – The “Wanna Be Justice League” from last week and the rest of the town that are “sorting things out” including Lettie Mae, Lafayette (Briefly) and Adelyn.  Let’s start with Lafayette.  He gets a visit from Lettie Mae to “check on him” but really she just wants some V.  Yup she’s an addict again just swapping booze for V.  Lafayette won’t help her so she gets insulting and leaves.  Anyone else wish she would just leave for good?

Back at Merlottes (Sorry Bellefleurs) everyone is cleaning up so they can all keep busy … until along comes the   “Wanna Be Justice League” to cause problems and with all the “good people” off on a field trip they are able to convince all the people there (with a bit of help from a freezer full of dead bodies) that they need to take the law into their own hands.  They talk about Sam being a dog and Mrs Fortenberry says she saw him turn from a bear once by her trash and then proceeds to call him a bear/dog from then on.  I did like that someone asked her why she in fact voted for Sam to be Mayor if she had seen that to which she didn’t have an answer.   Anyway they all decide they are going to protect themselves and start breaking up things for stakes until Adelyn “overhears ” Rosie realize that there are guns at the police station. Adelyn takes Wade and rushes over to warn Kenya and things seem to be going well until the rest of the town gets there and convinces Kenya that they SHOULD be doing something (generally with the use of you are a black woman always overlooked and this is your chance to do something).  Adelyn gets scared and blasts them with her fairy light and it is all down hill from there.

Jessica wakes sensing Adelyn is in a whole lot of trouble but a glance at her watch lets her know it is the middle of the day and sunny too so she is trapped.  She tries calling Sookie but Sookie’s phone is still in the woods from last week.  UGH Sookie you are an idiot!  So there is nothing that she can do is wait … and wait and wait ……poor Jessica 😦

At the station they all play with the guns and waste a ton of ammunition but the funniest thing for me was seeing Mrs Fortenberry getting all into shooting things (minus bullets).  Anyone remember when she was all black eyed and playing the Wii at Bills?  Ha yes that was what it reminded me of!

In another part of town Lettie Mae burns her wrist and runs it under cold water and then realizes there is a way for her to get more vampire blood and she burns the hell out of herself and then rushes over to wake Willa, who almost kills her being woken in the middle of the day, but instead catches herself and then heals Lettie Mae who goes off on a nice little V induced high.  She sees Tara up on a cross, dressed in white, with a big yellow snake wrapped round her and she is saying something.  All very strange and I am sure it means something but I have no idea what and I really can’t be bothered to try and figure that mess out.

Jessica is still stressing about Adelyn but now it is later in the day and she is trying to get ready to leave when Andy comes home.  After realizing that Jessica did not in fact EAT Adelyn he listens and finds out that Jessica knows Adelyn is in trouble.  Now here is my issue ….. she doesn’t know WHERE she is?  The whole point of her drinking the blood last week AND the clip they even showed in the recaps THIS week said … I will ALWAYS know how to find you.  So now she has to be out of the house …… HUH???? This makes no sense.  More rules not working because it isn’t convenient for them to be working.  Anybody have any other ideas.  UGH This show is pissing me off this week.

With the three boxes done there are only 2 little bits to add on.  Sookie and Alcide return from their road trip and Sookie sends Alcide for a shower so she can sneak out and run across the cemetery to Bills house so she can ask him if he could still find her if she was in trouble.  Ooooohhhhh any excuse Sookie ………

BUT the final moments this week had everyone gasping (OK had me gasping).  Pam finally gets to find Eric in France and contrary to speculation he was not burned up and recovering like Russell, instead things are much, MUCH worse.  We get to see Eric looking tired and resting in a chair as he looks at Pam , who is crying, and says “You Found Me” ……. awwwww … and then we see ….. those tell tale black veins in the center of his chest ….. ERIC HAS HEP V …….. ROLL CREDITS …. NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU BRIAN BUCKNER!!!! Finally something interesting on the screen after AN HOUR of crap and CREDITS!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  But it begs the question are they actually going to kill him off for good? I mean all the threats of I won’t watch next season really hold no water any more ……. SO NOT GOOD!!!!

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  The previews for next week look a LOT more promising than this weeks episode was and so with certain mixed emotions I both want to watch and avoid these final 8 installments …. I know there will be tears ….. Who will make it to the end???  But  honestly I’m not fooling anyone even myself ….. Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode
None  

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – Hmmmmmm Looking more like it may have been for real.  I’m shocked!
Kevin 

 

My Favorite Lines From “I Found You”

• Jason– “You’d play the whole Lone Rider – I’m an island”
• Arlene – “I did not survive 4 lousy husbands, my serial killer boyfriend and the sort of suicide of my love Terry  to die in the basement of a vampire bar!”
• Jason – “Sometimes not being clever makes you a better detective” (Hands over a Starbucks Card instead of a License lol)
• Lafayette– “I’m not a big fan of Jesus’ work but that is some epic fucking timing”
• Pam – “Un Fucking Believable”
• Sookie – “If I got myself in some serious shit would you be able to feel me?”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 1 (Premiere) – “Jesus Gonna Be Here” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again (Because let’s be honest now where else would I be?) so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season (seriously where have you been for the last several years?)…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right then here we go!!  At the end of Season 6 we didn’t have the huge number of overwhelming, gut wrenching, scream at the TV cliffhangers that True Blood (*Cough Alan Ball Cough*) has become known for (If you missed it, or like my husband failed to care enough to remember, click HERE for my season 6 finale recap), instead we had all the vamps lose their day walking ability and Eric “apparently” trapped and left to his demise in the middle of nowhere (Yup not sure anyone really bought that would be his end) and then the weird flash forward a few months later where Sookie and Alcide are a couple (gag), Sam is Mayor (ummm OK), and Arlene owns Merlottes (Now Bellefleurs) and they are all hosting a “Vampire for Every Human” mixer as Hep V is everywhere, humans are contaminated, and most of the vampire population is now doing impressions of the Walking Dead – and heading to Bon Temps for dinner!

 

Well we pick up right there. Before I even get started on them let me state it was obvious that the writers hadn’t thought this Hep V thing through.  The rules aren’t really working (as in they are making them up as they go along) and with all supernatural shows YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE RULES!!!! Ugh!!!!!! Right then with that out the way bring on the premiere!!!  The Mixer is under attack!!! Yes those walking dead hep V Vamps seem to have found Bon Temps and it is dinner time and this means fighting and it means a bloodbath.  For an opening segment it is certainly action packed.  The opening credits haven’t even rolled and Arlene, Holly, Kevin, Jane (Bodehouse)  and Nicole (Sam’s pregnant girlfriend – remember her?) have all been taken by the Hep V Vamps (For lunch later? – not quite sure what causes the kill this one – take this one plan) so Sam shifts (into his dog form ….. of course that is what you need for chasing down psycho vamps) and Alcide shifts into his (much smaller looking or that just me) wolf and they take off after the grab and goes.

Tara is guarding her mom and we get to see that she still remembers some of her cage fighting skills … WOO HOO,  Go Tara!! Jason’s new vamp Violet does a stabbing scene straight out of the Matrix and when all looks completely lost suddenly there is this whistle from the distance…… and all the Hep V Vamps super vamp speed out of there.  Yep they just stop everything and are gone. Ummmmm WHAT???  Hmmmmmm no clue yet as to who (or what)  made this whistling noise and even less so as to why they all responded it to it.  WEIRD! Even more weird…. NO ONE else questions it they just work on salvaging those that are alive and trying to come up with a plan to survive themselves ………..which is when we see Lettae Mae all covered in vamp goo screaming that TARA IS DEAD……

ROLL OPENING CREDITS (which I am pleased haven’t changed as a side note …. and Rutina Wesley was still mentioned (Tara) .. but the main man himself Alexander Skarsgaard was missing …… deliberately I’m sure to keep up the ruse that he is gone….. Or perhaps he will be in it as a “Guest star” …… that doesn’t sound interesting …

For the rest of the show, after that extreme opening there really isn’t too much exciting stuff to write about. Lots of things are set up ……. but anyway here are my thoughts ….

For the record I would bet money that this isn’t the last we have seen of Tara (not only with Rutina being in the credits) but this seems like a rather lame get out for such a big character.  Not even an on screen death? Hmmmmmm I don’t think so. My bet would be either Lettae Mae is delusional and with her eyes screwed up tight in fear she opened them and was  covered with vamp goo and assumed it was Tara because Tara wasn’t there – or Lettae Mae is delusional and saw the Hep V Vamps drag Tara off after killing the one she was fighting with and doesn’t want to deal with that.  There is the one other option that possibly Pam needed her and “Called her” but that is such a stretch I only mention it because it did flash through my mind.

One person missing from the mixer gone bad was Andy.  He stayed home with his Fae daughter Adelyn and Jessica stands as an unwanted guard outside obviously still feeling guilty over killing the other girls last season.  Andy gets the call about the fiasco and rushes over to help although is obviously conflicted about leaving Adelyn alone.  As a lovely thank you to Jessica his parting words are that he bets she didn’t over hear that Tara was dead. Oh that’s really classy Andy. *rolls eyes*.    Hmmmmm Actually I can save a whole lot of time with the rest of the Adelyn / Jessica plot right now (although it drags on through the episode) ….. Adelyn should hate Jessica but doesn’t and they chat on and off about boys etc until a rogue Hep V Vamp turns up to eat her.  Jessica protects her and manages to get her to drink a couple of drops of her blood so she always knows where she is … and then as the sun rises and Jessica and the bad vamp start to fry in the sun Adelyn invites Jessica in and saves her, sending her to the attic for the day as the bad vamp explodes in a fireball on the porch. Hmmmmm Adelyn I don’t think your daddy is going to approve of that one!

Back at the bar the aftermath of the attack is being dealt with and no one seems to be suffering more than Sookie with almost Season 1 level lack of control over her telepathy.  Was this what they meant when they were saying we were going back to basics? Only good thing to come out of it was Sookie got to hear that Alcide, just like the rest of the town, thinks everything is Sookie’s fault.  Not exactly true but hey anything that stops Sookie/Alcide action is fine with me!  Sookie takes off letting no one know where she is going and then throwing her cell phone away.  Yep good old Sookie! Oh on the way home she trips (literally) over a dead body …. as they zoom in to show who it is I am assuming this is going to be important.  Sookie just leaves her though and heads on back on her merry way.

While all this is going on there are a little gathering of  “New” folks who we will call the “Wanna Be Justice League” (For no other reason than it amused me) ….  just keep popping up this whole episode.  Firstly here at the bar (where one of them sees Sam change from Dog to Human ……. yes that helps), and they are all about killing the vampires .. ALL the vampires ….. so we know this is going to end well.  Sam manages to calm them down and convince them to go home (ummmmm how much do you wanna bet THAT’s not going to happen) but they are out of the picture for now.

Sadly Sookie makes it home OK and Alcide eventually gets there and they have a fight all based on Sookie reading his thoughts.  Oh it’s not fair …. yes Alcide it’s not fair.  This was the dumbest exchange of the night …… It’s not my fault .. I know it’s not your fault …. I know …. I know … You are telling me something I know …. BLAH!!! DULL DULL DULL …. could be worse I suppose … they could be shagging … oh wait they get to that …much later in the episode when everyone is sorry and she goes to bed and that is BLAH too … UGH SOOKIE ….. go find a vamp!!!!

Sam rallies around at the bar with his whole “vampire for every human” bit and sends them all home.  Weird though a vamp tells Sam he needs to follow the same protocol and set an example…… can’t this vamp tell he’s a shifter? He doesn’t know? Or did they forget? Or is he pretending?  More rules just ignored…. ANNOYING!

Mmmmmmm on the plus side we get to meet “New James”.  Remember James? The cute, Johnny Depp kinda reminding vamp that Jessica hooked up with at the compound? Well yes they are still together but we have a whole new actor playing him and HELLO!!!!  Wow he really reminds me of Johnny Depp now, and my husband, so yes he can say! I approve lol.   Of course I still think they could have just introduced him as a whole new vamp but as he is an improvement I’m in lol.  He takes Lala home and they seem to hit it off quite well…..smoke some drugs ….. maybe some more fun for Lala in the future? We get a nice bit of James history to fill in the time and overall he has potential.

Taking a break from the whole Bon Temps thing we finally shoot across to find out what the hell is going on with Pam and (yes we are all hoping for some Eric but I can tell you not this episode …..). Pam is in Morocco searching for her maker (which would obviously be easier had he not released her) and looking exhausted. We later find out there is no “Clean” blood (I am assuming this means Hep V Free) there and she won’t feed on the child offered.  When we see her she is playing a game of Russian Roulette with wooden bullets against another vamp who seems to think Allah will save him and has 27 times in the past (Make that 28). (Side note – this vamp looks like Tim Curry …… he didn’t until my friend the Wench pointed it out … so thanks Wench for that image and he will forever been known now as the Tim Curry Wannabe Vamp).  Well Pam wins, the vamp becomes goo, and winnings are collected but the big prize seems to be info on where Eric may be.  She eventually gets a map but apparently this is not news she wants – more on this to follow I am guessing *sigh*.

Another more interesting pairing – Jason and Violet – they are on their way home and when they get there they meet the Wanna Be Justice League.  Yes I told you they keep popping up.  Violet’s answer is to just be in charge and threaten to kill them all.  Sounds like a plan to me!  Jason, however, is not so keen on having his masculinity handed to him because he is HERS and isn’t interested in playing nice with the humans.  Go Jason!  So normally I would be on Violet’s side here but this little outburst gets Jason to go all season 1 and decide he IS going to have sex with Violet whether she agrees or not (obviously she agrees … I mean it isn’t like he is going to be able to do much if she didn’t) but we finally get some clothes ripping, over the bonnet of the car, good old sex!!! FINALLY!!! Something that we WANT to see lol.

From a pairing I care about to one that I don’t but I guess it needs mentioning.  Lettae Mae and Reverend Daniels have taken Willa back to their place.  Lettae Mae is freaked out (She healed using Willa’s Blood) and now thinks she can see Tara (We don’t get to see Tara) and Tara is trying to tell her something. Her soul is trapped … she can’t move on ….. UGH … I DON’T CARE!! Seriously .. I don’t.  This only gets a mention because Willa is there and has no where to go and for now is going to be sleeping in Rev. Daniels church basement.  Also Willa  notes that “Eric’s gone and Pam’s gone” …. as her maker I think there would be more context there if Eric was actually dead. Interesting that it was mentioned along with Pam and the EXACT same phrasing. Just my little observation …..

Oh and it is time for the “Wanna Be Justice League” again. This time they have followed Andy and Bill to an abandoned slaughterhouse looking for the Hep V Vamp nest.  They manage to find evidence they have been there (in the form of hanging, drained, decomposing bodies) but no vamps.  As a note has Bill become an even more useless vampire since losing his Billith powers? He needs Andy and the flashlight and can’t smell (or hear) that 1. there are no vamps there right now and 2. that they are about to find a room full of corpses?   Of course the “Wanna Be Justice League”  thinks it is all Bill’s fault and they are ready to kill him now and ask questions later.  Andy points out that he has more reason than any of them to kill Bill and takes the gun …. which of course he turns on them and sends them all home.  Wow “Wanna Be Justice League”  you strike out 3 for 3.

Others that are striking out are the captured crew from the beginning who we find chained up in Fangtasia’s basement.  Nice to know Eric still kept all that stuff down there.  Kevin, Holly, Arlene, Nicole, and Jane Bodehouse (Ummm ok???)  with all of them freaking out except Holly who seems to be trying to stay calm.  A vamp comes down and starts sniffing them all (now at that point my money would have been on Holly …. doesn’t she live with Andy and his Fairy daughter? I would be thinking that she smelled GOOD!!!) but no …. he goes for Kevin and apparently doesn’t want to share and kills him on the basement stairs while the girls scream on.

Morning has arrived and all non vampire residents of Bon Temps are at church.  Yes even Sookie and Alcide join them and Sookie places her hand on Lettae Mae’s shoulder and gets a mouthful of abuse for her trouble.  Lettae Mae says what basically the whole church is thinking and Sookie gets to hear it all.  She rushes out but pauses to let them know that she can HEAR them all and then we get a fairly moving speech about how she has always lived there, and that even though they all blame her she still loves them all and that if they are going to win this fight and save any of them they need to let her help.  AND THEN IT ENDS ……… Ummmm where is my cliffhanger …. where is my yell at the tv moment ….. (unless you include the bitching that they only give us 10 episodes and THIS ONE ENDED 10 minutes early …….)

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  With certain mixed emotions I both want to watch and avoid these final 9 installments …. I know there will be tears ….. Who will make it to the end???  But  honestly I’m not fooling anyone even myself ….. Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Tara – ????? Hmmmm Maybe???? Still Not Convinced … Time Will Tell
Kevin …. I guess he counts as main cast at this point lol

 

My Favorite Lines From “Jesus Gonna Be Here”

• Pam– “My God Fucking Hates Me”
• Pam– “Everyone I love leaves, Everything I touch Dies, So Forgive me If I don’t Share Your Faith”
• Pam – “Your God and My God can go to a motel and have a circle jerk for all I care – I’ll be in hell having a 3 way with the devil”
• Violet– “Why don’t you take your puny little guns back home, and go fuck your depressed homey housewives with your tiny little dicks ”
• James – “You can laugh, you can cry, you can smoke out – to Tara and the universe it makes no difference”
• Andy – “When you pull that trigger you are crossing a line you can’t never come back from.”

 

True Blood Season 7, News, Thoughts, and Spoilers!! V””V

So I am sure since Sunday’s episode many of you, like me, have been scouring the web to see if you can get any news on True Blood Season 7.  Well finally an interview with Brian Buckner (Current HBO True Blood Showrunner) has been released and so I thought I would share my thoughts and feelings about it.  (*Original Interview is linked at the bottom of the page*)

Firstly the thing that most people want to know.  Is Eric dead?  Well Brian is saying he is definitely not gone.  Whilst he refuses to admit outright that he will be fine he does say he has no intention of removing him from our screens.  I don’t think for many of us this is going to be a big revelation.  The whole scene was so ani-climatic that my husband, barely looked across to see if I was bothered.  Now you have to realise that various points in the True Blood saga certain scenes turn me to a blubbering wreck, and not just the first time through either.  Godric meeting the sun, Eric releasing Pam, and now this season Nora dying in Eric’s arms …. all guaranteed sob fests.  This scene barely had me raising an eyebrow.  I had already written several escape scenarios for him even before HBO was able to post the 6 months jump ahead sign. (Some of these are discussed in more detail in my finale recap – HERE ).  Basically Eric will be fine, and will be back, and I am pretty sure Pam will be with him.

With that out the way let us move on to the whole Hep V thing.  Now here is where I have a HUGE issue with Brian and it makes me wish Alan Ball would come back.  Do you remember back in the good old days of Season 1 where there were SO MANY hidden meanings that many of them wouldn’t become clear until later? There were even books written that you could, if you were obsessive enough, work out what was going to happen to each character based on the color of their clothes!!!  One of the best things about this show was that you could either just watch it, and take the entertainment at face value, or for people like me, you could hunt for the hidden meanings, look for the extra layers, and find many like-minded people to banter ideas around with.  Apparently we are taking our ideas a little too far for them, there is no conspiracy with Lettae Mae being out to poison Tara …. bloggers like myself cooked that one up all by ourselves.  Well can you blame us?  As drama and cliffhangers go we weren’t really given much to work with.

Now many such people, myself included, have been very upset this season by the blatant “flaunting” of the rules and it almost seemed as if, at times, they were just making it up to suit the storyline in that moment. Well  it turns out THEY WERE!!! ….. and I quote “In seasons past – I’m not going to point to any one of them – we took some massive swings, not knowing where we were going. That’s the nature  of what we do. In this case, I don’t believe we bit off more than we can chew“.  Well that explains a lot then.  All the times we were asking where the thought process was for things ….. turns out there just wasn’t one.  Throw it out there and we will deal with it as and when we can …. if we have to change a few things that we already said … well so be it.   WOW! Totally sold out then!! That to me just really sums up how the writers feel about this show that we love.  A show that was so different when it aired that it caught the attention of vampire lovers all over the world, a show that now have become so mainstream for the most part that I have heard Vampire Diaries be described as more entertaining for the real vampire fans.  We stick with it, we moan, but secretly we are all hoping that they will take a turn back to earlier seasons, maybe open one of the books that the show was inspired from (just not the newest one … for the love of Cain leave that one WELL alone) ….. or as I suggested on the post I got the information from …. LET ME AT IT!!!!!! V””V

MY answer to the ORIGINAL post listed below …. “I think many bloggers would like to offer their services to the writers. I am especially disgusted to read that they “hadn’t thought this Hep V thing through”.  It is actually one of my complaints this week that they need to come up with a proper set of rules for this.  I miss the  old S1 True Blood where everything DID have a meaning and it was only in re-watching, possibly a couple of seasons later, that the clues that  were there became clear.  THAT was clever writing!  None of this “throw  something on screen and see where it goes”.  Supernatural lovers generally like the rules to be adhered to.  We are pretty adaptable as  to what is acceptable (for the most part) between shows and books as  long as the writers STICK TO THEM.  Continuity!  With so many fans it really shouldn’t be hard.  Give a couple of them a chance to read through the scripts (with non disclosures signed obviously).  I assure you it would result in a far better season of TV! V””V

Information obtained from Brian Bucker’s Interview with Michael Ausiello. Read original interview  HERE