True Blood Season 7 Ep 7 – “May Be The Last” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because! Oh and let me start by saying this week was (for me) yet another week of filler, which when they are only giving us 10 episodes is a bit weak for me!  They hooked me this season with that one great episode and I thought here we go and have since been holding on with exciting looking previews that quite simply don’t deliver!!

Right then everybody ready because here we go!   Honestly this week can be split up into a few little blocks of what’s happening and then a couple extra bits thrown in and so that is how I am going to break this down.

Let’s start off this week the way True Blood did (and the only real story line people are actually invested in at this point) with Eric, Pam, and the crazy corporation crew at Amber’s house. They already have Amber strapped down with silver chains and are taking it in turns to try and get information out of her about her sister and how she was cured.  Now hang on a second ….. wouldn’t the FIRST thing you tried as a vamp be drinking the blood of a cured person (vamp)?  I mean seriously!! You know she was infected, and now she’s not ….. would that not occur to anyone to at least give it a try???  Well apparently not.  Fear, reasoning, and then bribing seem to be the go to efforts and when all of those fail Eric loses his temper, hallucinates Sarah, and then stakes Amber … all before the opening credits.  Well then there goes that plan.  Crazy cowboy corporation guy though we find out as the episode goes on does in fact have a plan!  Now that they know Sarah is a cure he knows the government will help find her and then they can synthesize her blood and sell a cure as “New Blood”.  Awesome!  Eric looks none to convinced as killing her is still top of his bucket list but even he appears to see the value in the plan and reluctantly agrees.  Not sure anyone in the room is convinced that they are actually working together but that is the plan .. for now.

Later (when they find Sarah) it is made to look like the corporation is going to betray Eric, leaving him and Pam behind while they go to deal with Sarah (who they track down using government surveillance and find her at the Light Of Day Institute of all places)  but SURPRISE. At the end of the episode they are outside at night waiting and they all go off hunting together.  Of course we don’t actually SEE them get to Sarah…. that is all saved for NEXT WEEK Grrrrrrrr.

Talking of Sarah she has a fairly interesting episode.  As mentioned she has gone to the LODI to hide and she has some interesting flashbacks and hallucinations that include Jason lecturing her about how Death is coming in the form of Eric, and then later Steve Newlin and her little Guru friend debating the benefits of dying a Christian versus a Buddhist.  Honestly? These little interactions were sadly one of the highlights of tonight’s episode.  Yup really not a lot going on.  Well she is all set to get hers next week …… we can hope at least!

One of the of the other main stories is the kidnapping of Adelyn and Wade last week by crazy Violet.  Sadly other than Andy and Holly running around all episode trying to find them not a whole lot happens until the very end.  Andy does remember that Adelyn has had Jessica’s blood and so calls her to see if anything bad has happened that she has sensed which for 90% of the episode Adelyn is having a great time.  Violet has taken them off to a house and locked them in a room for the day to have some “fun” complete with a litany of sex toys that these kids have no idea what to do with.  We also learn that Violet used to enjoy having sex with her brother too.  Hmmmm OK then.  But the main story is they are away from everyone, Violet goes to sleep for the day leaving them alone, and nothing other than them having sex happens until the very very end when Violet makes it clear that she is about to torture Adelyn and Jessica finally senses her fear and heads off to the rescue….. but again we have to wait for next week!! Do you see a pattern forming here??? *rolls eyes*

In other news there are 2 minor stories floating around in the background. Hoyt is back in town and he is not alone.  He has his pretty new blonde girlfriend Bridget with him who works with him in Alaska.  Their first stop is Bellefleurs (which Hoyt obviously thought was Merlotte’s) and Arlene calls Jason because Hoyt obviously doesn’t remember him.  Jason comes down and he is definitely interested in Bridget who pretty much does everything short of throw herself at him.  UGH really Jason?? Aren’t you back with Jessica now you have to want Hoyt’s girlfriend AGAIN? This seemed pretty pointless to me unless they are going to have the repeat circumstances somehow trigger his memories?  There was a nice moment where Jason lied and told Hoyt that Maxine died as one of the good guys and not a crazy townsperson and that he had dealt with the person responsible. Hmmmmm OK?  Not quite sure where this is all going but again it was introduced … to be dealt with later. 

And then we have Arlene and her dreams of Keith (who we learn is 515) and her obvious attraction to him despite in her dreams explaining to him that she is NOT a fangbanger and then having sex with him on the pool table.  OK. Whatever.   Arlene’s main job this week is waxing lyrical with Sam who is dealing with Nicole’s ultimatum and it is unsure what he wants to do.  Arlene and him sit and drink and try and help Sam decide what is important to him.  It looks like Sam is getting ready to leave but we also see that this discussion has left Arlene feeling very depressed and in fact feels so bad that at the end Keith comes to visit her as soon as it gets dark because “that kind of pain can be dangerous”.  We learn that Arlene has Hep V (which anyone of us could have pretty much figured out from all the biting etc that happened at Fangtastia) and so Keith, being completely delightful, says that they can just dance. Awwwwwww!!! It was actually rather sweet.

So on to the final main story which of course is Bill and his Hep V that is spreading faster than on anyone else.  But Sookie is not giving up.  She has a plan and that plan involves finding Dr Ludwig … remember her? (Season 2 Maenad scratch ……) Well she gets her to the house and hear several times that Dr Ludwig isn’t scared of anything blah blah blah and we also learn that she has treated another vamp / fae infection but in that case it was a full fae and not a half and it was quicker but not this quick so Sookie isn’t responsible for the super fast progression?  Or maybe she is because when Dr Ludwig finds out that Niall is her relative she freaks out and leaves.  Now you would expect this to have some sort of relevance to things but it really doesn’t.  Sookie manages to get hold of Niall to see if he can help her.  Other than eating some spaghetti, letting her know that he could have prevented her from infecting Bill because he is always watching and yes he know ….  and then showing Sookie a flashback with Bill’s wife giving birth to their daughter and explaining the miracle of birth that happens every day his visit seems pretty pointless.  He lets us know that he doesn’t like Bill for Sookie and never has and that his magic can’t help with anything.  Well then that clears that up.  Really?? Why?? Oh time filler ….. because seriously there was NO other reason for it at all that I can see! 

The episode ends with Sookie running over to Bill’s in her white dress, very reminiscent of the first time they were together, and she tells Bill that she will stay with him until the end.  Of course this ends up with them having sex in front of the fire and we get to see a very unwelcome sight of Naked Bill covered in Hep V Veins.  UGH well thank you very much True Blood.  Naked Bill at the best of times is bad enough but really??? BLAH!!!!   Even better his fangs pop out and he is obviously debating biting her and well all know THAT would be a bad idea …. Really Bill??? Look where the last bite got you!! He decides against it and sticks to the sex.  Wonderful and dull!!! 

And now we wait until next week which again looks promising but at this point who the hell knows because after all LAST WEEK … THIS WEEK’S looked promising and what an overall fail that was!!!  The big question remains who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (Although Amber died …. I suppose that should get a mention)

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

My Favorite Lines From “May Be The Last”

• Andy – “Even if they don’t want to answer teenagers can have a pavlovian response to a ringing cell phone”
• Violet – “Your imagination is a muscle … use it or lose it! ”
• Eric “You want Eric to be the fucking spokesman for your vampire Jenny Craig commercials”
• Sookie – “There is a miracle waiting out there for Bill.  I just have to go out there and find it! ” 
• Dr Ludwig– “Oooooh how very spooky – A cemetery …. shall we?? ”
• Niall  – “I don’t like him for you!.”
  
• Niall – “There is magic in the ordinary – Birth is a miracle, love is a miracle, death is a miracle, forgiveness is a miracle.”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 6– “Karma” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season …. and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because! Oh and with Comic Con being last  weekend there was an AWESOME trailer for the upcoming final episodes shown ….. if you missed it you can check it out HERE.

Right then everybody ready because here we go and this week starts off in a pretty damn awesome fashion with Eric strolling down the hallways carrying the ripped out jaw of the Yukuza member he took down last week.  Of course life can’t be that easy and there are a bunch more waiting for him – all of which he takes out although you can see he is finding it a lot more of an effort that normal (but nothing like the failure to punch through a wall a couple of episodes ago …… sooo continuity issues or adrenalin rush??? Who the hell knows at this point but we get to see Eric being all well ….. Eric like lol so that is always fun). I did love his little pause to ask “Really?” before smashing up a few more of their little killer team but sadly this fun comes to an end when other team members bring a silvered Pam around the corner.  UGH really Pam?  Again? I know you can fight better than this!!!!!  Pam and Eric are escorted in some nifty looking cars to (what I assume to be) the Yokomoto headquarters where they are placed in a room with huge windows and a clock in front of them with a countdown to dawn.  As they are left there alone, presumably to meet the sun, Eric says to Pam “Our first Sunrise together” …. awwwwwww and they share a look and the opening credits roll.

One of the other big revelations last week at the end was Bill showing the first signs of Hep V.  That takes up a fair amount of time this episode and starts with him calling a lawyer to get his affairs in order.  Turns out this is quite a popular thing at the moment and so no appointments are available and so the only option he has is to go down and wait to be seen.   Jessica overhears this conversation but doesn’t confront him about it even when he says he will be leaving and won’t be back until late so not to wait up for him.  We get to follow Bill to the lawyers office which looks like a DMV waiting room with a take a number and wait system and the average wait time it 5-7 hours which will take them up until after sunrise.   Not having much other option as the tell tale black veins are already spreading Bill sits in for the long haul and we get to see that his Hep V is spreading at an alarming rate.  The nasty black veins are appearing more and more before our eyes.  Well that can’t be good! 

On the other side of town Lafayette is none to amused with Lettie Mae’s actions at the party and he takes her back to his house.  She tries to insist she needs to go home because the Reverend will be waiting but Lala is too smart to fall for that knowing that she gave him enough Benedryl to knock him out for hours.  When they get inside James is waiting and looking to take Lafayette up on his offer of a place to crash but things take a little turn with Lettie Mae ranting on about seeing Tara …. James is actually on HER side.  He says that Lafayette of all people should understand the doorways it can open and they come to an arrangement that while James goes off to bed for the day Lafayette and Lettie Mae will go on a V induced trip together.

 Now I want to take a little time out here for a bitch ….. not really relevant to anything other than my annoyance to continuity so feel free to skip to the next paragraph for episode only related info. People have been getting high off of V in this show since Season 1 with Jason and the trips we took then.  Now they have changed the rules so often it makes my head spin (if you use it for healing you don’t seem to get the effects …. unless you are Lettie Mae) …. if you drink a few drops for “finding purposes” again no fun effects ….. but a couple of weeks ago Lettie Mae swallowed a great deal more of Willa’s blood and had a very short induced little trip.  This week Lala and her take not much more than A DROP of James’s blood (and honestly he isn’t exactly a super vamp now is he???) and they trip for HOURS apparently.

OK Rant over … so yes off Lala and Lettie Mae go on their V Trip and they find Tara, back on the cross, and they get her down, and then she is gone and running through the forest (in a dress that looks suspiciously like one of the Maenad’s bridesmaid’s dresses from Season 2) and they find her at her old house crazily digging up random holes in the back yard like a crazy woman.  We don’t get to see WHAT she is digging for as Reverend Daniels chooses that moment to come to the house and shake them out of their little V trip.   Well Lettie Mae is none to thrilled with that and even Lafayette argues that Tara is trying to tell them something but the Rev has had enough and says she has to choose.  Well of course she chooses Tara but we have no idea at this point what that is going to mean.  To be continued next week I guess. 

So I am sure we all remember the Jason / Jessica / Violet issue from last week?  Well Violet starts this week with  whole new approach to things rather than KILL which has been her previous motto.  She decides the ultimate seduction is the way to go but even with that when Jessica calls Jason because she needs him to get Sookie so she can tell him about Bill he leaves to go to her.  Of course he thinks Violet is asleep at the time but once he leaves she goes mad and smashes everything up.  THERE is the Violet I have been expecting to see!  

Jason in the meantime has gone to get Sookie to take her to Jessica’s and they get the news that Jessica has discovered Bill is Hep V positive.  At first Jason won’t believe it but then Sookie realizes that when she scratched her arm with the big stick when she was playing bait she got drenched in Hep V Vamp goo and so it must be her.  They don’t want to believe it but it is off to the clinic they go for a blood test and promises to Jessica that they will let her know when they do.

Unsurprisingly the results are in and Sookie has Hep V and I am expecting that her weird Fairy blood is the cause for Bill’s symptoms and their rapid progress.  Guess Fairy blood isn’t good for everything after all! One good thing to come out of it all is that while they are waiting Jason decides he is going to break it off with Violet …. and when I say good I mean good viewing … obviously we ALL know Violet isn’t going to take that one lying down!

 Talking of Bill we see him still getting worse at the lawyer’s office and True Blood writers suddenly seem to remember that vampires during the day suffer from the bleeds. Oh well done them *rolls eyes* …. won’t even get started on that lack of continuity.  Any way  Bill finally gets to be seen and discovers that there are more problems for him than just his Hep V.  Under the law the will he has was made when he was “impersonating a human” and thus isn’t recognized as it was before vampires came out of the coffin.  As of right now, because of a law passed before the evil Governor Burrell lost his head, vampire progeny are NOT recognized as heirs and so his estate would pass to the government should anything happen to him.  Bill’s only recourse? Adopt Jessica legally and go that route …. which could take up to a year …. unless he wants to pay the lawyer $10 Million to expedite the process.   Bill tries to glamour her into skipping that but she only laughs, (as did I actually because really Bill? She is a lawyer that works with vampires all day … did you not think she would have those fancy contacts? … we will put that slip on your behalf down to the Hep V because your next actions amused me lol) ………. Bill’s next action was to stab her in the throat with a letter opener!! HA!!! Die greedy bitch Die!!!!  Even better he grabs a pencil as he leaves and takes out the vampire guard with it on his way out.  Well played Bill Compton … well played indeed!   He heads home to a waiting Jessica and Sookie who have been crying and it is obvious that they know.

Talking of  Bon Temps remember Jason’s warning to Adelyn and Wade? Well they chose to ignore it and are going for it right under Andy’s roof! Well that wasn’t smart and of course Andy catches them and sends a poor naked Wade running out into the yard with Andy chasing after him, Holly not far behind and Arlene screaming they are gonna wake the baby.   Andy wants to kill Wade, Holly looks like she wants to kill Andy and generally this is not good.  They all go their separate ways but we get to see Arlene and Holly head to Bellfleurs (yes remember that never actually got cleaned up? Well amazingly so did the writers) and they set to getting that place back ready to open and Arlene actually has some good advice.  When Andy comes by to apologize it is clear things aren’t going well but Arlene sends them off to TALK to the kids together.  Just one little problem with that …. when they get to the house the kids have gone!  Seriously? What did they expect? Andy …. well I can see why he didn’t get it but Holly really should have known better! I saw that coming a mile away.  Luckily for them they told Wade’s brother where they were going (Fort Bellefleur) but will they get there in time???   

Also in Bon Temps Nicole is being a pain in the ass and she wants to go “home” for good and she wants Sam to go with her. She basically calls the town crazy, Sam the mayor of crazy town and that he wants to be there crazier still.  Yes there was a whole lot of crazy being thrown around.  If it wasn’t for the fact that she was carrying Sam’s baby I would say good riddance! UGH she gets on my nerves!!! More wait and see stuff here too.

Now remember poor Pam and Eric trapped in a room? Well it turns out that some cowboy wanna be is now in charge of the Yokomoto corporation and he is broke!  Tru Blood is worthless and he wants to get his hands on Sarah Newlin and he thinks the dynamic duo can help.  Eric isn’t having any of it but with only minutes before sunrise Pam is thinking otherwise.  After a few minutes of Eric and Pam starting to burn (the main sticking point being that Eric wants to be the one to actually kill Sarah and Yoko guy not so keen) they come to a deal and our pair is safe ….. for now … and at sundown will be taking them all to Sarah’s sister’s house.  The only place Sarah could possibly go.

They were right, of course, and we get to see Sarah sneaking into her sister’s house during daylight only to be attacked by her sister.  Sadly her sister is too ill to really hurt her and ends up collapsing and coughing up blood before inflicting damage…. but the game is just beginning.   When Amber wakes back up Sarah lets her know that there was a cure.  A cure that Sarah drank all of making her now the only cure out there and she tells Amber to drink from her (Which honestly by the time Sarah had been halfway through the sentence if I was the sister I would have been biting already!).

We don’t get to see what happens but when Eric, Pam and the Yokomoto crew turn up at Amber’s house they see immediately that she is cured! Oh next week should be good! 

To finish up Jason goes home to tell Violet that things are over.  He gets himself all psyched up only to go in and discover that she isn’t there, the place is trashed and she has left a note saying that things aren’t working and goodbye.  Ummmmm what???  Oh don’t worry Violet hasn’t gone completely soft.  We see that she has tracked down Adelyn and Wade at Fort Bellefleur and convinces them to leave their phones and come with her because she knows a place where they can be alone and safe by telling them that with her fairy blood if she could find them the bad vamps could too.  Oh this isn’t going to be good.  Revenge is best in the sneaky way and taking the one thing that will hurt Jessica seems like a pretty good plan to me! 

And now we wait until next week which is looking like a more action packed ride. Adelyn and Wade are at the mercy of a crazy Violet, Eric and crew know that Sarah is their chance at a cure, and although we will have to deal with the inevitable Sookie and Bill drama I am OK with that. The game is well and truly on now.  Odds are changing with a cure now in play (honestly did anyone doubt that would happen?) and so who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching and Monday I will be back here to share my thoughts!

 

V””V

 

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

None (Although notable mention of Bill killing the lawyer and the vamp “guard” …. THAT was awesome! )

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

My Favorite Lines From “Karma”

• Eric – “Our first sunrise together”
• Pam – “I imagined my death many times but I never thought I would meet the sun in some place with wall to wall carpet”
• Eric “When I find her I am going to wrap my hands around her neck and snap her little blonde bobble head”
• Nicole – “This town is fucking crazy and you are the mayor of crazy!” 
• Jason – “Bill was a bone fide vampire God not six months ago. ”
• Arlene  – “Shit happens Holly – ya clean it up.”
  
• Sookie – “Life’s too short to be with someone you don’t love.”
• Amber – “You can’t just dye your hair, and blow a guru, and absolve yourself of all the horrific shit you have done in your life.”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 4 – “Death Is Not The End” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? I warn you …. this is a long one ….. Right then here we go!! Wow can you believe we are on the 4th episode already? That means we are almost halfway through.  Not liking that.  Neither did I really care for the beginning of this week’s episode, which was of course dealing with the big death last week.  We have Sookie calling Jackson to tell him his son is dead and then (far more moving) we have Jason calling Hoyt to tell him that Maxine has passed.  Poor Hoyt …. and poor Jason <3.  They did a really good job here what with Jason having grown up with Hoyt but Jessica’s glamour still working its vampire magic. Awwwwwww. Wonder what will happen when he comes back to Bon Temps.  I guess we will see ……… After the phone call Jason has decided he is done with everything but Sookie gives him the “Man Up” speech because Andy is gone (to look after Holly) and so he is all that is left.  Well who would have thought THAT would have been the case 6 seasons ago???  ***Opening Credits ….. I still love this song ………***

As with most episodes, by far the best thing in it were the moments with Eric and Pam and in particular the flashbacks.  I am loving getting more of their history together, especially when it involves 80’s and 90’s flashbacks.  Oh the memories …. but I digress ….. We start on a plane with Eric and Pam heading to Baton Rouge because Pam has decided that is where Sarah is likely to have reached out.  Eric is not amused by this and stops feeding on the lovely Air Hostess to demand they go to Shreveport to get Willa.   Eric and Pam are so great with the way they play off each other but Eric lets it slip that he is dying which Victoria (pretty Air Hostess) is unamused about as she is now going to lose her job.  I know it’s wrong but I LOVE that neither Eric nor Pam care one bit!! YES!!! This is the Eric and Pam we want to see.  The looks they share, their chemistry is just awesome…..  I love them!  

We now get the first of several flashbacks but as they are all related and are BY FAR the best bit of this entire episode I am going to put them all together …. because honestly? I want to lol.

Remember last week Pam and Eric got taken by the Yokomoto corporation after they dispensed with Sylvie back in 1986?  Well this flashback picks up right after that with Pam and Eric being “released” in Shreveport in a parking lot that will look very familiar to all the fans.  Yes this is where they get Fangtasia. But wait …… it is not the Fangtasia we know and love …. it is …. a VIDEO RENTAL STORE lmao!!! Complete with extra porn section in the basement!!!   Oh Pam is so disgusted by the whole thing it is hilarious!! We get to meet The Magister (remember him) and we learn that he made Eric Sheriff (Something Eric actually looks rather pleased about) because he wants to be able to keep an eye on him.  They learn that this punishment (running the store) is basically a forever thing at this point and when The Magsiter tosses Pam the keys she ignores them as they smack her in the chest and fall to the floor.  Oh it was so well done!! Bravo!!!  Now pay attention here …. The Magister throws out that there is an abandoned, walled up tunnel behind the basement …… FULL OF HISTORY he says ….. but that will be VERY important later.   ****OK mini side rant here ….. do we have different writers doing the flashback things?  They are so awesome with the details and the remembering things, and adding in little “extras” …. where is that in the MAIN show??? Hmmmmmm??? Continuity has just LEFT THE BUILDING with pretty much everything else…….. UGH OK I’m done for the moment … back to the flashbacks …..****

We jump to 1996 and poor Pam is STILL stuck working in that horrid little video store which is now upgrading to DVDs.   In walks a nerdy looking brunette with a list of obscure vampire movies she wants to watch.  Pam is actually impressed and the selections and half listens as the girl goes on and on about the course she is taking about monsters being misunderstood.   Suddenly out walks Eric …. in full 90’s boy band style ….with the background music of “I would die for you” …..  LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!!! And then I realize …. IT’S GINGER!!!! HA!!!! Without the blonde hair and minus the screaming I didn’t see it at first….. and well she just about dies …. right there on the spot.  Jaw on the floor …. ummmmm yes that might have been my reaction too …. WOW …. ummmmm where was I ……. oh yes so Ginger meets Eric and decides she wants to work there … and well the rest is history ….. actually we get a little more history …. and I LOVE it!!

Fast forward to 2006 and the vamps are coming out of the coffin and we see Ginger (looking much more like the Ginger we all know) getting out of a hearse, with a big chair, and heading into the video shop where they are still working.   Pam is waiting for her and is unamused by the chair until Ginger lays out the whole plan for Fangtasia, right down to Eric sitting up on the throne we all know and love.  Pam loves the idea …. and totally steals is – glamouring Ginger into thinking it was Pam’s idea in the first place.  Awesome!!!!!   Flash forward to Eric and Pam back on the plane and Eric is smiling and lovingly calls Pam a Bitch ….. but she says “but you still love me” ….. and he looks at her and just says “always”.  Awwwwwwww ❤ such a look. Just perfect!!!  I’m telling you I would watch a whole series just about these too!!!! FANGTASTIC!!!! 

Right then back to the rest of what is going on …….. Sookie, Jason, and Sam head over to see Andy and Holly and find Coby and Lisa who Sookie decides to go talk to.  Lisa is moaning that everyone is treating them like they are stupid but they know things are wrong.  After a heart to heart with the (now not so little) kids Sookie promises that she will bring their Mom back.  UGH Stupid Sookie!!! You know better than to make promises like that! Especially with the kill count this season.   Anyway Sookie knows that Holly knows what happened and that it was just glamoured away so Sookie heads in to fix that. Remember her little trick with the Black Eyes back in Season 2? Yup she can MAKE you remember and she does just that with Holly.  Oh it isn’t pretty and leaves Holly a snivelling mess for poor Andy to deal with but they don’t have time for that!! Sookie does leave him with a piece of advice ….”We like to be held”…. well OK then!!!  So they know where the survivors are and they have a plan! Well Sookie has a plan …. she is going to Bills …. in the middle of the day ….. Jason and Sam …. they have to go tell Rosie that Kevin is dead.

Staying with Jason and Sam for a moment, Sam has a little melt down and thinks he is going to go to Fangtasia now and rescue Nicole (STUPID SAM!!!!!) but Jason manages to stop him (by threatening to shoot him in the head) and they eventually get to Rosie’s and she is not happy to see them and even less happy with the news.  She makes them promise that they will avenge Kevin which, of course, they promise to do.

Over at Bill’s house Jessica and James are fighting over the fact that Jessica isn’t healing because she isn’t eating.  Apparently it has been months.  Hmmmmm they do like to change how long these vamps can go without feeding.  James goes to get Bill and Bill tries to convince her but is not doing a very good job.  Sookie turns up in the middle of it all and decides that Jessica can feed off of her.  Jessica isn’t amused because as she points out Sookie is a fairy but Sookie says she trusts her.   Sookie gets Bill and James to leave and then lays one of the best guilt trips on Jessica that I have heard in ages.  Basically Sookie doesn’t care what is going on with Jessica and her life but she needs help and Sookie has been good to Jessica so Jessica needs to suck it up and help her!   Amazingly THIS WORKS but she won’t feed off Sookie and so they send for James’s human … the wonderful Lafayette!!!! 

This leads to a wonderful scene! Nelson Ellis is OUTSTANDING this week with just the right amount of sass, sympathy, and use of the word “Hookah” to convince Jessica that he is a bad person too.  He misses Jesus and it is OK not to be perfect and not to forgive yourself but you have to keep going.   Add to that the looks that James and Lala share and yes I will admit it. My heart melted.  Awwwww <3.  Sorry Jessica I am routing for them to hook up….. the sooner the better. 

Sookie is plotting with Bill but he points out that generally the vampires around are not really going to be invested in going to a fight at Fangtasia with the H Vamps.  They have everything to lose and nothing to gain.  When asked why he is going he explains it is because he owes Sookie everything.  You know Bill …… when you act like season 1 Bill you aren’t so bad after all.  So Sookie decides Bill needs to eat ……because he needs to be at his strongest to fight ……. but  you know personally I think Sookie just wanted a good bite.  Obviously missing it having been with a wolf for 6 months.  Guessing a wolf bite wouldn’t be so appealing lol

So night has fallen and the troops have gathered to plan their attack.  Hmmmm troops might be a tad optimistic sounding as we have Sookie, Bill, Jason, Sam, Jessica, James, Violet, and 2 of James’s band mates (also vamps) Michael and Keith. Jason tries to give a rousing speech but compares it to Normandy and obviously doesn’t get much response as Normandy left beaches stained with allied blood ….. but fear not!! Eric and Pam have arrived.  Obviously looking for Willa (well on the pretense of looking for Willa) and Pam bitches that Sookie is there.  Glad to see that they are at least consistent with that but Eric does listen and “calls” Willa.  Eric, however, obviously still loves Sookie and takes a moment alone with her to discover what trouble she has gotten herself into this time.  He is appropriately disgusted about her “wolf” relationship but drops it when he sees she is hurting.  The time between them is touching and you can see how much Eric still cares and it would seem Sookie does too.  Perhaps the triangle is about to come back.  I was sure the writers were heading towards Sookie and Bill ….. but who knows.  Hmmmmmm need to ponder that. Also need to ponder the lack of Eric or Pam making any kind of negative comment to Jason about Sarah being alive.   Pam may secretly be grateful at this point as it is fueling Eric’s will to live …. but Eric … he looked pissed last week.  I can’t believe there wouldn’t even be a passing jibe??? Ugh!  Damn Writers!

Willa arrives and is not a happy babyvamp.   She wants to talk about her abandonment NOW!!! But Eric has other plans and uses the old fail safe “as you maker I command you” trick and later it is 😀

So off to battle they go …. the crew above with the additions of Eric, Pam, and Willa but Eric actually has a plan.  Remember that bricked up tunnel?  Well they are going to bust in and rescue the prisoners that way!!  Awesome!!! Except when they get there Eric has pretty much lost all his strength and after a pitiful few attempts Bill smashes down the wall in one punch …. ummmmm NO!!!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! UGH!!! That is SO WRONG!!! On SOOOOOOO many levels wrong!!!! So let me ask you this? If H Vamps are so weak even in the early stages (he is level 1) and HE has just FED well and recently …… why the hell are the other vamps any problem at all?? You have a shifter and a bunch of healthy vamps?  What the hell writers???? Make your mind up!!!! STUPID!!!!!

Anyway Sam goes in first (as a rat) and transforms and freaks Arlene and Jane (which is mildly amusing …. although I would have had Arlene making a comment about Sam being naked ….. but maybe that is me being a perv) ……. so prisoners found Sam lets them know that vamps are coming in to rescue them and they need to TRUST them.  The 3 prisoners are not too amused but seriously at this point what choice do they have? Well as Sam scurries back off as a rat it would seem that they might be too late for one of them because here comes an H Vamp and he is hungry!!  Back at the tunnel entrance it is decided that Pam and Bill will go rescue the humans (because Eric is so week) but by the time they get there Arlene is already upstairs about to be eaten.   The other 2 saved Bill decides to go after Arlene but Pam gives him a couple of words of advice …… not to try too hard to be a hero .. because she says it is never going to happen with Sookie the way he wants … not tonight …. not ever.  Hmmmmmm foreshadowing?  Certainly interesting to say the least. 

But Bill is not the only one with a plan.  Eric has decided to go through the front door, claiming he needs asylum and he brings his own human (no prizes for guessing who that is …..) Now apparently despite their apparent apathy previously, these H Vamps do have a thing for fairy blood after all ….. not that they know what it is but it is Sookie smelling so good that tempts them to let him in.   Arlene is close to death on the table and Eric is trying to buy time with the crazy H Vamps who amazingly enough all seem together enough to hold it together for this little chit chat.  Come on cavalry where are you??

Oh wait …. unexpected help? Problems? Ummmm a bit of both really as the remainder of the “Wanna be Justice League Crew” (Wanna be Mayor, Kenya, Rosie, annoying mouthy girl, and another guy along with a few others ) pull in to the parking lot armed with a Molotov cocktail. FIRE!!!! Just as our hero team is coming up the back way.  Well all hell erupts.  As the vamps go flying out the front door a bunch are picked off by the “Wanna Be League” all armed with guns and wooden bullets until a few break through to kill most of the humans off (yup none of you will be missed).   This gives the other vamps time to get out the back way and we get to see a matrix style, all hell break loose battle between the vamps and it seems that all the H Vamps get killed off and our team escapes unscathed.

That being said Sookie is trapped inside a burning Fangtasia with a dying Arlene and Eric unable to help as his infected blood (I’m assuming) is no good for healing.  She tells him to get a “Healthy” vamp.  Now why he doesn’t just “Call” Willa is anybody’s guess …… but he doesn’t …. instead he’s about to leave when Bill appears and stakes a rogue H Vamp by ripping off one of the handles from behind the bar (Season 1 Longshadow anyone????).  Pam comes in with a fire extinguisher and deals with the fire issue and gets a wonderful look from Eric (I am telling you this week was just full of them) and then she hears them outside about to throw in another flaming bottle and rushes out, snatches the bottle and sets the guy on fire.  Awesome!! 

Bill is about to give Arlene his blood when he feels Jessica in trouble so leaves to help her and Eric comes to the rescue bringing Keith.  Now Arlene is seeing Terry and hearing Terry (although for a moment Terry is the evil H Vamp but Jason shoots that one … well done Jason)  and for a moment I really thought that Arlene was about to be the next victim of this season’s slaughter run as we get to see Terry too but he tells Arlene to stay and she starts to come round.  Now she shares a little look with Keith the vampire.  Hmmmmmmm is that going to be something I wonder.  Lots to think on this episode.

We end with it being confirmed that all the H Vamps are in fact goo.  And judging by the number of bodies it looks like all the “Wanna be Justice League” are dead too with the main cast notables being Kenya and Rosie.  Pam is shouting for Eric and for a moment you wonder if perhaps he is one of the goo piles and we missed it ….. but fear not.  Eric is in a car eating Rosie.   Well Rosie there were worse ways you could have died.  Eric returns to the bar and shares a beautiful look with Sookie ….. and the credits roll …… 

And now we wait until next week!!!  Only 6 installments left…. but already things seem to be wrapping up faster than I would have expected so I am hoping they will focus on the hunt for Sarah and hopefully a cure for Eric?!  Who will make it to the end?? Only thing for sure is that Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode

Kenya
Rosie

Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Kenya
Rosie

My Favorite Lines From “Death Is Not The End”

• Jackson – ”He loved the fuck out of you Sookie”
• Pam – “I’m sorry …. did we fuck and I blocked it out”
• Eric- “Welcome to our shithole”
• Bill – “I Owe You Everything”
• Lafayette – “Step aside Hookah ….. give a real hookah a shot”
• Pam – “Ginger – look at yourself and look at me …. who has better taste?”
• Ginger – “Eric Northman is nothing if he isn’t fucking  sex on a throne” 
• Eric – “Pam tells me you wrote a book where you claim no longer to be an asshole …. is it true?”
  
• Pam – “She’s like a fucking fungus that just won’t go away”
• Eric – “You will not drink her blood …. you will sip it … like a nice glass of barbaresco”

True Blood Season 7 Ep 3 – “Fire In The Hole” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again ……The beginning of the end ….. The final season ….  and here I am again so  let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season )…  let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to and for the most part I skip over a lot that doesn’t interest me.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom, assuming I found any … as the seasons have progressed the numerous gems have started to feel more like trying to find needles in a haystack  (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right then here we go!! After last week’s extremely annoying day set episode this week is much more interesting and action packed mainly because it all happens at night and so we get to see our vamps!! YAY!! And not just the H Vamps either!!!  Some awesome Eric and Pam action coming up!!

The episode starts though in California … ummmmm WHAT??? At a Yoga class hosted by Guru Sanbir Dutta (Nope that isn’t going to be important at all but hey I figured out the name so figured I would share lol) and guess who is taking the class … a Miss Sarah Newlin!  Yes she’s back everyone!! Complete with dyed hair and a new name (Newmi lol) and keeping with her typical theme of sleeping with the power people (in this case Guru Sanbir who is all about hot bodies and being in the “now” with “yourself”).   More about those shenanigans later! (Opening Credits Go Here)

After the credits we go to Eric and Pam … YES This is what we all want to see …. well OK what I want to see anyway ……. And Pam is demanding to know how long Eric has had the disease and is very unimpressed that he has given up.  Eric lets us know that it has been about a month but after everything for him this is the end.  He admits he didn’t get it on purpose but he didn’t try not to get it either.  I love Eric and Pam! I love that she never gives up on him even telling him that she has searched the whole planet for him and that she would have continued.  This actually amuses Eric who claims that she wouldn’t have found him if he hadn’t been sick but the smile belies otherwise.  This is by far one of my favorite Maker / Child relationships ever.  Pam confirms that Tara is in fact gone as she felt her die while she was in Morocco (Well strike one for me ….. I was sure she was still around.  DAMN) … anyway they share another moment about playing “the Bucket Game” and things are just lovely.  You know I could watch a whole show just with these two ……. screw all the other storylines!.   Pam says that Eric’s moping can’t all be about Godric and Nora .. or even Sylvie … Ummmmmm WHAT NOW??? Who is Sylvie?? Oh never mind we get a flashback to answer that question … in fact we get a series of flashbacks over the show so I will put them all in to one ready to go flashback recap …

Flashback recap – France 1986 (Based on the Fact that Pam was turned in 1905 and she states they have been together 81 years)

Eric is having a nice little fling with the lovely French Sylvie, daughter of Vineyard owner.  She knows he is a vampire and we have some wonderful sex, naked Eric, and biting.  Yup this episode is definitely better than last weeks 😀 ….. It would appear that Eric is more than a little smitten with Sylvie …… and is not happy to be interrupted from his moonlight naked frolicking  by non other than Nan Flannigan!!! Ha ….. welcome back Nan we missed you!  Sent by none other than Nora no less.   Well Eric and Pam are in a lot of trouble for not playing by the vamp rules.  (LOVE 80’s Pam!).  They didn’t check in with the sheriff, they aren’t being especially discreet and with Tru Blood about to be released by the Yakinomo  corporation (Some nice mainstreaming references to the drink that remind me of S1 here) and The Authority need them to start behaving.  Pam is her wonderful self telling Nan that she doesn’t like you.  Nan replies under other circumstances she thinks they could be friends but after Pam looks at her shoes and agrees Nan goes back to being her normal bitchy self and points out these are NOT other circumstances.   As usual Pam realizes the gravity of the situation first and agrees to behave but Eric is more interested in Sylvie (really?? She’s not THAT great … maybe she has a trace of Fae in her to make her taste extra yummy) and tells the Nan and the people she represents to “Go “Fuck Themselves”.  Hmmm that might not have been his brightest move.  Pam is worried after Nan leaves but Eric vows to protect her.

Still in France we see Pam having fun with a French Fluzy of her own but things are about to go very wrong as a team of warriors head into their building.  Next thing we hear is Pam yelling to Eric (who is busy in the yard doing some very bad things with Sylvie … Sexy Eric twice in one episode … yummy) and Eric is really not happy about the interruption until he turns to see that she is Silvered (silver choke collar) held by several Japanese warriors with a Silver blade at her throat .  He works out quickly that  they mean business but concludes that if they were going to kill them they would have done it already.  He tries attacking one as they grab Sylvie but the threat to Pam is too much.  When he finds out they were sent by the Yakinomo corporation he tries to bribe them but this fails too. They are on a mission.  We learn that the Authority wants Eric alive so killing him is not an option and they demand, even after he agrees to their demands, that either Sylvie or Pam has to die. Poor Eric looks heartbroken when they won’t let him die instead and Pam and Eric change the most amazing look and he says Pam lives.  Awwwwwww ❤   Sorry Sylvie, time’s up and her end is swift and final with a sword through the gut with a sad smile from Eric and he falls to his knees only to be dragged away silvered along with Pam.  Guess we will learn about that later. ***End Flashback***

Eric seems resigned and nothing Pam is saying is having much reaction until suddenly she mentions Sarah Newlin and lets Eric know she is Alive.  Jason never killed her and Pam is going after her.  This lights Eric fire and now he is MAD and they are going to find her together!! ooooh YAY!!! Welcome back Eric!!! Was worried you were going to be all pathetic this season for a minute! I am not convinced they will save the character but at least he may go out with a bang!!!! Bring on the road trip (Oh wait that won’t be at least until next week … well at least there is something to look forward to!!

Back in Bon Temps Alcide has finally realized that Sookie is gone and is not a happy bunny … well wolf I suppose … and he sniffs her out (Yup literally ….I know …. THAT’s ATTRACTIVE) … over to Bill’s house where he is really mad and smashes down the door.  Sadly for Alcide, Sookie has other plans and has convinced Bill she has a plan and they have taken off in Bill’s car so she can play vampire bait for the H Vamps and not tell anyone else what’s going on.  Of course we all know that Bill just wants her back so he will go along with pretty much anything at this point.   Now don’t get me wrong, I know many people are all anti Bill/Sookie but I kinda like this whole back to season 1 vibe they are playing.  At this point I can’t stand the wolf, Sam is annoying, and well I have pretty much always figured she didn’t deserve Eric after the way she treated him …… so Bill works for me.  If this is the direction it ends in I am fine with it.   There were some cute moments with Bill up in a tree “keeping watch” as Sookie sits there wondering why the H Vamps are taking so long to get to her.  A couple of “moments” are shared but perhaps the most noticeable one is when she says she knows Alcide loves her more than she loves him. Well DUH!!!! We can all see you love Bill more than him and you claim to pretty much hate him half the time.  Alcide was the “safe” option and  she knew it.  So anyway that is what is going on with them while Alcide is running around in wolf form trying to track them down.   See Sookie is so damn selfish she couldn’t even leave him a note! UGH!!! Oh yes we also had some boring Bill Flashbacks to when he was going off to war with him getting pictures taken with his wife and kids…. and the photographer was a Fortenberry .. hmmmmm wonder if that will be important.  Anyway these flashbacks were a LOT less interesting than the Pam / Eric ones! No shocker there!

The H Vamps holed up at Fangtasia have a problem … not enough blood.  They have to feed every hour (well at least one of them does …. seriously I tell you making the rules up as they go along) …. and noone seems to be mentioning the loss of Ms Harris last week or the fact that leaves one less vamp to feed.  Who knows how many are actually in the club at this point but we learn they are down to 4 humans (5 if you could the baby – so that is Holly, Arlene, Nicole, and Jane) and so they need to go find more.  Oooooh Sookie being vampire bait might actually help them ….. although one bite of her and none of them is stopping but whatever …… they decide that a group will have to go  and they go to the basement to find their “Trail Mix” to take with them as they can’t go long enough to hunt without a feed bag.  When they get down there Holly has cast a “sort of”  circle and they are chanting but it doesn’t get them anything other than Harry Potter taunts and Holy gets to go hunting with them.  The crap  H Vamps actually manage to fins a couple of stragglers in the woods (but not Sookie yet) and send them back to Fangtasia with a couple of the familiar looking H Vamps  (The Dark Haired Girl and the Brit) while the rest keep on hunting ….. more on the H Vamp hunting party later!

Right then remember the “Wanna be Justice League” and all the drama going on with that.  Well things certainly get interesting this week.  Andy and Jessica get Adelyn and Wade out of the jail and then they go off to gather up Jason and Violet (who are in the middle of a big fight about what a “Real Man” is.  Mildy interesting because Jason now wants a family (yes he has figured out it would mean adoption) and Violet tells him to stop being such a girl.  Violet is still not happy with Jessica but she lets her in but under her rules and they can have a truce until they find Sookie.  They leave Adelyn and Wade at Jason’s house and off they go on a hunt!

Sam is visiting with the reverend (With his gay vampire watcher Matt lurking in the doorway)  trying to figure out the meaning of all this and how tragic it would be to be sitting there having frozen pizza with just no hope.  That that was just it. Soo the rev and Sam are having a big faith heart to heart when Willa shows up with Lettie Mae high on V and the Rev has everyone else leave so he can sort out the crazy one.

Once the Rev is sorted with Lettie Mae he comes to find Willa and feed her and while she’s feeding she hears all about how the rev ended up there and that Lettie Mae and him basically saved each other. Ummmmmm wait a minute didn’t the Rev have a wife there already earlier in the series before him and Lettie Mae got together? As in he was cheating on his wife with her? Did I make that up ….. I don’t have time to rewatch and check right now but I am pretty sure that is what happened there and he didn’t arrive at a boarded up church and find a drunk Lettie Mae sitting there waiting for him and he knew his purpose.  Hmmmmmmm damn you writers!!! Now I need to go find that …. well later …… ugh sidetracked.  Anyway basically he explains to Willa that she can’t stay there because Lettie Mae won’t stop finding excuses to get her blood and so he thanks her for everything and then rescinds her invitation.  Poor Willa 😦 

Sam and Matt leave and are driving along when they run into the much enlarged “Wanna Be Justice League” group now starring, Maxine, Kenya, Rocky  and well as the already very annoying Vince the wanna be mayor, all armed with guns and wooden bullets which they suddenly use to kill Matt so he is now a pile of goo.   Vince has decided he is now Mayor and when Sam refuses to go away they get ready to shoot him but he turns into an owl and flies away.  Well then that secret is well and truly out the bag now!

Jason, Andy, Jessica an Violet find Sam’s abandoned truck shortly after and the vamps spot the goo remains of Matt and go all fangy.  We hear the “Wanna be Justice League” in the woods and then suddenly they appear en masse in front of our fab 4.  Andy demands to know where the Mayor is to learn that he has flown away and Vince thinks he is mayor now! Jason makes a stand and tells them all just to get out of the way because they can’t do anything but Maxine gets all mouthy and decides she wants to kill Jessica (for all the mean things she did to Hoyt) and Jason (well because he was kinda to blame too)  …. and she shoots Jessica in the shoulder! Good job she is a bad shot!  Violet takes action and rushes forward and rips Maxine’s heart right out of her chest and drops it on the floor, to be shortly followed by a very dead Maxine.   Andy shouts for Rocky as the rest of the rabble disperse and Violet races off to get him and brings him back from the woods even managing to remember the directive to keep him alive!! Back at the car there is concern that Jessica isn’t healing.  She claims she doesn’t know why.  Is she stupid? She needs to FEED!!!!  Isn’t that instinct?  Shouldn’t her fangs pop out instinctively when food is near because she needs it.  WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THESE WRITERS GRRRRRRR!!!!!

OK enough annoyance for the moment … let’s go to  Lafayette.  We haven’t seen much of him this episode but when we do he is dancing his sexy little ass off and enjoying the liquid side of life until James shows up.  James is on the hunt for weed because apparently vamps get high from smoking (ummmm that is a made up rule) ….. but as Lala only has pills Lala improvises and takes a nice little cocktail for James to then enjoy once it gets into his bloodstream.  I am pretty damn sure that isn’t how this works …………. oh whatever …… they aren’t sticking to any rules so why the hell not this I guess.   James and Lala get nice and high on his deconstructed / reconstructed drug concoction and doze off for a bit ….. a little bit too much because James thinks Lala has overdosed and won’t wake up.  False alarm! Lala is fine …. or in his words “A Pro-fess- ion-alle” and they share a moment.  James reminds Lala he has a girlfriend but I don’t think this is the end of that.  I like James … he’s hot and amusing.  Let’s hope he can keep Lafayette safe the rest of the season.  At this rate though they will both be dead next week *sigh*

Remember the Sarah Newlin shenanigans I mentioned at the beginning? Well we get to see she is sleeping with the weird Guru and he seems to be besotted with her.  Well that isn’t going to last long because as he sends her off to get a bottle of wine from the cellar those pesky Yakinomo corporation samari’s are back …… and I don’t think they are very happy with how Sarah left their deal last season and they find the Guru naked and surprised.  When he confirms that Sarah has been but refuses to say where she is now they cut off his head and we see Sarah in the wine cellar behind a closed door as her Guru’s blood pours under the door.  Oooooh this isn’t going to be good.   Guess we will see more about that next week! 

To finish this week everything is going to happen at once.   Alcide and Sam both meet in the woods and transform just out of sight of some of the scattered Justice League … ummmmm seriously? A dog and a wolf and neither of you smelled people right there? Luckily the JL idiots took too long to make the shot and they transformed back and went off running together in search of Sookie.  Sookie who is bored with the waiting game insulted that she thought she smelled special but they aren’t rushing to get her. We see her sharpening a wooden stake but not to do anything productive with ….. no she is going to gash her arm to guarantee that the H Vamps want to come eat her!  It works too as Holly comes out of the bushes bitten and confused so you know that the H Vamps are not far behind.  Sadly for everyone the H Vamps are prepared for vamps this time and they silver Bill so he is now useless and about to be stabbed by one of the H Vamps when Alcide and Sam appear and tear him apart, in the meantime Andy, Jason, Jessica and Violet start shooting wildly and explode all the H Vamps covering Sookie in goo which she desperately tries not to get in her mouth (or her eyes because I guess you can get infected that way too).  Alcide is mad but his first concern is getting Sookie clean which amazingly Violet rushes her to the river to wash her off.  Alcide is really mad at Bill and blames him for agreeing with her when suddenly shots ring out from the woods and Alcide takes one to the forehead and one to the chest and collapses as Jason realizes they are being shot at from the trees and turns to protect them but it is too late for Alcide.  Alcide is dead.  Jessica offers to turn him but Sookie knows that isn’t what he would have wanted and says she made that decision before and it didn’t turn out well and so we end with  Andy standing over the still alive Lou (one of the Justice League) and he leaving him to die and Sookie crying over a naked Alcide’s dead body.

I think the theme this season is unexpected death whether it has a point or not.  Not sure this is the best way for them to make a statement.  So far all the main character deaths (apart from Maxine I suppose) have been pretty pointless if you ask me.  Just killing them off for the sake of a main character death and not adding to the story.  Will it get people talking about it? I’m sure ….. will it boost ratings ….. I don’t think so.  Much as junkies like me will watch until the end, those that pass through will be bored very quickly.  If they are trying to be Game Of Thrones with no on is safe I get it.  But this is NOT Game of Thrones and I don’t like it!

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  Only 7 installments left…. I know there will be tears …..Nobody is safe!!  Who will make it to the end???  Sunday at 9 I WILL be watching!

V””V

Main Cast Death Count This Episode
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide
Main Cast Death Count This Series 

Tara – – OK definitely Dead … Pam says she felt her die whilst in Morocco – that makes TB 1 – VLD -0 BLAH!
Kevin
Maxine Fortenberry
Alcide

 

My Favorite Lines From “Fire In The Hole”

• Pam– “I searched the whole fucking planet for you”
• Eric – “It Feels Better In The Moonlight”
• Eric- “And Everyone Lived Bored And Suicidely Every After” (Love this reference to Mainstreaming that pops up in S1
• Rev Daniels – “You got to have Faith” (Ha ha ha ha Fright Night Anyone????)
• Violet – “One town of dead people and you are going to let it turn you into a girl?”
• Sookie – “When we say stuff we can’t decide how people are going to take it.”
• Sookie – “I Taste Like Sunshine And Flowers And I’m Right Fucking Here!

True Blood Season 6 Ep 10 (Finale) – “Radioactive” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

So here we are! It feels this season barely started and yet this is finale week.  And what a finale episode it was … and I DON’T mean that in a good way.  Actually fans of the show must have been asking themselves if “that was it???”.  Where was the carnage, the death count, the shocking cliffhangers?  Where was the feeling that an hour couldn’t have passed already because we still had so much left to watch ……. Nope there will be none of that.  Instead you will be treated to a kind of confused first forty minutes  sort of wrapping up a couple of things and making you roll your eyes …… one moment that I am sure many fans gasped at (I barely raised an eyebrow) and then the remaining time with a 6 month time jump to the future, a TON of WTF questions …. and a real desire for me to throw myself down on my knees and beg Alan Ball to come back because all is forgiven…… Well maybe not … but it was close.

OK on with the show. We start this week with Sookie watched the dirt be thrown onto Terry’s now buried body and Alcide coming up to her to ask if she needs a ride.  Hmmmmmm Alcide in a NASTY looking wig I might add …. remember Eric in S1 .. yes THAT bad.  Now wait I don’t remember that from last week …. I mean I KNOW I don’t pay much attention to Alcide when he is on the screen but I am pretty sure that monstrosity would not have escaped comment.   Well anyway they are all flirty and off they go “for a walk” and a little chat about how Jason will be OK because he is a survivor and he will show up.  Ugh Sookie and Alcide .. really??  That should have ended with her throwing up all over him in Season 4!!!   Luckily before we can dwell too much on that all the day walking, high as a kite vampires come dancing through the graveyard heading to Bill’s house.  This apparently means they all have to throw their clothes off and have sex wherever they can.  Pointless True Blood style nudity as boring as most of the things have been this season.   As Sookie spots Jason (with his new BFF Violet she heads over to see what is going on even though Alcide tells her it isn’t a good idea.  Hmmmmmm It’s OK Alcide …. the scriptwriters seem to have forgotten how great Sookie smells to vamps this season so she should be safe.

Roll the opening credits and we come back to some 20’s music (complete with dancing vampires) when someone has the great idea that they should do a TARGET run for croquet and volleyball.   Jason in the meantime is getting well and truly feasted on by Violet and has decided that he does want to have sex with her now but oh she is not going to make it that easy for him.  Instead she gives him her blood.  Oh yes that is the same *rolls eyes*.  Sookie appears and after a minor freak out from the over jealous Violet, Jason explains that Sookie is his sister so Violet promptly kisses her.  Hmmmmm OK.    Violet leaves them to talk and Jason spills how he thinks he feels for Violet the way Sookie felt for Bill ……. slight turn around there Jason.  Sookie is in her anti vamp mode though and basically tells Jason to watch his back.  Their little meeting is interrupted by a hug from Pam who, obviously still high, tells Sookie she is actually glad to see her .. Tara joins in, and admits that she is high but with the magical blood thinks she will never be able to hate Bill again.  I am with Sookie on this on …. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!

Sookie heads back to the Fairy plane where Warlow has been busy getting ready for Sookie’s wedding / turning / whatever ceremony, which apparently involves a maypole and some fancy light work to create 2 rings from 1.  Hmmmm OK well I guess it is a fairy thing but it doesn’t matter because Sookie is now having second thoughts.  Of course she is.  Everyone is saved now! Sadly for her Warlow is over 5000 years old and it not impressed with her not wanting to keep her word.  No problem just give her a quick back-handed smack, tie her to a tree and hold her prisoner.  Yep that will change her mind *rolls eyes … MEN*.

Over in the “real world” … can we still call it that when the vampires are daywalking and in this case playing volleyball?…. Very Twilight!!!  Well here we are and Violet is not enjoying the chemistry between Jason and Jessica and makes her presence known during a volleyball game by slamming the ball hard enough to knock her to the ground.  Towards the woods Pam is watching but Tara can see something is wrong.  She heads over and Pam tells her that her buzz has worn off and she is off to look for Eric….. with a parting remark to take care of Willa she too takes off up into the sky.  Well at least at this point we know Eric is still alive because Willa hasn’t felt his demise.    Bill is another one being mopey but without good reason.  He is sad because all his Billith Mojo is gone and he is back to regular, boring Bill Compton.  That’s OK Bill ….. you didn’t do half as much fun stuff with all that power as you could have so this is what you get!   Jessica comes in to console him and makes him realize that he needs to go save Sookie from the deal he basically forced her into.  *Yawn* …. on the plus side maybe Warlow will be so mad he kills Bill.  We can hope!!!

Bill decides he is actually going to listen and goes to Jason so he can work out what they can do.  Bill has worked out that the only way to get there will be to ask Adelyn to help get them there, Oh yes Andy is going to want to see them …. and so it is decided Jason and Violet will go there while Bill releases his pet scientist complete with a full glamouring and a huge bag full of money.  NICE!!!    Jason and Violet arrive at Andy’s house and when Andy realizes that Violet is a vampire he freaks a little bit and tries to get Adelyn upstairs but Adelyn hears that they are trying to save Sookie and she wants to help. After all she is the only one that is anything like her.   With a bit of convincing from Adelyn, Andy is not happy but he agrees and him and Jason load up with all the fun anti vamp stuff they can find.  Guess Jason raided the LVTF before he left lol.

On the Fairy plane Warlow, with Sookie tied to the tree, (after all can’t have Sookie going through with her threat to throw all her light away … then she won’t be special) is trying to convince her that what he is doing is right.  Now you may wonder what the hell he is waiting for but it turns out that it needs to be night on the regular plane for him to do the whole turning part of the process.  Well that is lucky for Sookie because the cavalry is on the way.  Sadly the cavalry can’t quite work out how to get there ….. after all Adelyn is only 2 weeks old and not too good with the whole light power thing …. but when Violet hears that fear seems to be a good motivator for fairies she has it covered and POOF Jason, Andy, Adelyn, Jessica and Bill are now all in Fairy land just as Sookie is about to be drained. 

Bill tackles Warlow as Violet frees Sookie and hands her to Jason, looking very pleased with herself I might add.  They are all ready to go but Bill is still fighting with Warlow.  Bill insists that they leave and PRAISE CAIN they actually do!!! Oh could this be the big death?  Is Bill going to die??? PLEASE LET THIS BE IT!!!! ……. Nope! Instead Warlow decides to follow them back and Bill hitches a ride by clinging to his ankle as he pops out of there *sigh*

On the regular plane they motley crew have all headed back to Sookie’s house and they hide Adelyn in Eric’s old Cubby while Violet heals Sookie upstairs using her blood and Andy stands guard out front. So I know what you are thinking … here we go!!! Here comes the carnage, the drama, all the great things that True Blood finale’s are known for. But you would be wrong.  Warlow just seems to be content with knocking everyone around with his “light” and they throwing them down into the cubby (the location of which he got from glamouring Jason) and then heads up to get Sookie …. who is hiding in the bathroom!!  Bill tries to make a last-ditch effort but now he isn’t Billith he can’t get in through the door .. HA!!! Awesome!!! Back to Sookie and her perfect horror movie cliché *rolls eyes* of hiding in the bathroom and I would like to think that Sookie remembered that there was another portal in there but sadly I think that was more luck than judgement but as Warlow comes to get her Niall appears (remember him) through a crack in the weird bathroom portal (seriously I don’t think I would ever take a shower again) and grabs him.  But it isn’t enough …. luckily though Adelyn has magic light and has freed everyone from the Cubby so Jason comes to the rescue!! YAY Go Jason!! And Warlow is staked which apparently WILL kill him and he is dead because he falls to a pile of goo that becomes red glitter on the bathroom floor and we get to see all the “light” come out of all the vampires that have drunk his blood.

And now the … not so shocker ….. we see Eric sunbathing nude in Sweden reading a book, up a mountain, in the middle of nowhere, when the magic blood leaves his body.  We see his skin turn red and he catches on fire and falls to his knees screaming.  Oh I am sure there were Eric fans everywhere that were screaming at their TV at this point but not me.  If this is the end, and I sincerely hope it isn’t, it lacked ALL the drama that these amazing moments have.  Godric, Nora, even Pam getting released, these moments grabbed my heart and squeezed it in an unrelenting vise like grip.  This just had me saying UGH!  Perhaps they thought this was going to be the last season and this would have been a great did he make it ending if it had ended there I suppose (personally last week with him flying up into the sun would have been better for me but anyway) …… but here are my reasons why I think Eric is still alive.  Firstly … no goo!! Rule number 1 is without goo a vamp is still viable…. after Bill last season even THAT isn’t always a guarantee.  Secondly Pam went off to find him.  We don’t see her for the rest of the episode, even in the 6 months later skip ahead (during which there is no mention made by Tara or Willa or ANYONE of Eric or Pam).   Thirdly …. if all else fails he could bury himself in the snow.  Any vampire chronicles reader knows that self preservation kicks in above all other instincts when a vampire can’t think straight and thus he would bury himself in the snow until night.  I could go on but you get my drift.   If this was the shocker consider me unshocked.   Seriously the Jessica fake killing Hoyt had a far bigger impact and that wasn’t even really happening!!!

The screen goes black … and we all think is that it??? wait … there are still 20 minutes left … this can’t be the end????

And it isn’t! We come back to a note that says 6 months later …. and a news report talking about Hep V and how they don’t understand the outbreak and Bill being interviewed about his autobiographical telling of all the events that happened called “And God Bled”.  Wow Bill you really are a mainstreamer! We get to see Sookie at home watching said news item and in walks Alcide, complete with short haircut and obviously living there.  Oh this explains the bad wig.  Obviously at the time of filming originally they didn’t know they were going to get picked up for a new season and they must have had to go back, film an add on to the graveside scene to try and explain why Sookie and Alcide are a couple.  Wonderful.  At least that explains that bit then.    So they are playing happy families and Bill is rabbiting on about how 1/8th of the vampire population is infected with Hep V.  Now excuse me for one second here ….. I want to know what the Hep V rules are?? Because quite frankly I don’t think the writers have figured it out yet.  All the vampires from the camp would be dead (I am assuming …one maker was laying there dying last week and it had only been a couple of days) and vampires are very GOOD at self preservation.  If they thought there was anything like this going on they would be out there just slaughtering any possible contamination and the healthy 7/8ths could carry on.  they destroyed most of the contaminate True Blood (we still don’t quite know what was with the Honolulu but last week … maybe that will provide answers in S7?)  To me this all seems like a HUGE stretch that 6 months later this could be the result ….. even for Bon Temps??? Hmmmmmmmm

OK enough sidetracking with my speculations and on to the rest of the not very exciting finale.  We get to see that Jason is still with Violet and despite giving her insane amounts of very satisfying oral sex he still isn’t getting laid and Violet shows no signs of changing that rule any time soon.  Poor Jason. He has even created her an amazing basement style light tight room for her to stay in but no deal for him. Well as she said she did warn him that she wasn’t going to make it easy.

This is nothing compared to the main other storyline that they are obviously setting up for next season.  No one trusts the government (shocker) and everyone is turning to the church for help and guidance and we get to see that Sam and Reverend Daniels of all people have teamed up to try and protect the good people (well people anyway) of Bon Temps.  At first it is unclear what is going on other than everyone is in the church getting their blood tested.  Weird.  Sadly it soon becomes clear what is going on.  They want all the humans to be tested to see if they are carriers for Hep V.  All the humans that aren’t they are asking to team up with “healthy” vampires and become their feeders in exchange for protection. Ummmmm OK then.  Even weirder Arlene is throwing a big party at “Bellefleur’s  Bar and Grill” (we can only assume Arlene used the insurance money to buy Merlottes) where they can all mingle with the vampires and try to find a pairing once they get their results back.  Ridiculous!  Andy seems to be the only one that won’t buy in because after all he doesn’t want any vamp anywhere near Adelyn and who can blame him (Adelyn who by the way seems to have not ages at all in the 6 months … guess the fast growing is over).

The idea is that the roaming packs of rabid Hep V infected vampires are roaming from small town to small town picking them all off.  Now it is not clear if they are killing or turning but either way it doesn’t sound good.  Seriously though if the “healthy” vamps can team up and protect a human why can’t they just team up and go slaughter the infected ones?  Doesn’t make any sense to me at all!

At the “mixer” we get to see that James the vampire Jessica fell in love with at vamp camp is apparently a singer.  And not a bad one either. Yep he is no Lestat but he pulls off the rocker look.  (Side note OK a whole alligator on the grill with Lemon Slices .. HA ….. too funny).   Alcide and Sookie get negative results but both have no interest in becoming vamp food.   Tara and Willa are together and not finding anyone to their liking when Lettie Mae comes over and wants to talk.  Eventually Tara agrees and off they go so Lettie Mae can give a big sob story about how she was never there are a mother to feed her child and wants to feed her now.  UGH there is time you are never getting back.  Now Tara agrees and we see her feed but you have to ask has Lettie Mae really done a 180 on her vampire feelings or did she get her results and is she infected?  Yes I know I am a sceptic but this whole storyline has irritated me since Season1 …. Lettie Mae should have been killed off ages ago, not married off to Reverend Daniels and then dragged out all the way through season 6!  Guess we will have to wait until next year to get answers about that.

Jessica takes off to tell Andy that she will protect him regardless of anything because she feels she owes him.  Can’t argue with that and Andy does manage not to shoot her but does slam the door in her face leaving her out front guarding the Bellefleur house.

The  season ends with Bill coming over to talk to Alcide and Sookie and a very amusing exchange.  Alcide feels Sookie doesn’t need vampire protection but Bill disagrees telling Alcide that he  can growl all he wants he can’t protect her like a vampire.   One of the few times that Bill actually amused me!! Definitely wouldn’t think one wolf could protect from a pack of rabid vampires but then I wouldn’t think one regular vamp could either. Bill and Alcide sniff the air and look worried ……   The camera pans back and we see what Bill and Alcide smelled ….  a group of about 5 obviously infected vampires heading towards the party , that doubles as more emerge from the woods, and then doubles again until we see a swarm just heading towards the humans….. one of which looks suspiciously like the vampire we saw destroying the truck in Honolulu last week.  Perhaps that is the tie in?   Who knows!!! One thing is for sure I don’t want my vampires turned into a rabid pack of zombies!

With no real kill count to deal with I guess the big questions are just is Eric alive (already posted my thoughts on that), is Lettie Mae infected (guess we will have to wait and see) and are the writers going to work out a cohesive set of rules for this Hep V thing? They have a few months to get something together … if all else fails email me! I will work it out for you!!!!

Until then the fangover will begin along with the wait …. and I think we all agree Waiting SUCKS!!!

V””V

My Favorite Lines From “Radioactive”

• Sookie – “Forever is a rare thing in this world … no matter what vampires say”
• Jessica – “Bill Compton Would Have Walked Through Fire To Save Her!!!”
• Warlow – “You really are a danger whore!”
• Bill – “I WAS a God”
• Bill – “You can growl all you want Bright Eyes it doesn’t change the truth”
• Sookie – “Even at your best I could never really trust you”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 6 – “Don’t You Feel Me” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Right then True Blood fans let the spoilers and snarking begin! For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated. I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to. My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Let me start by saying after last week’s epic episode I was hoping for a little more. This week for me had too much “other” stuff and not enough vampire content for me … but here we go ….

This week starts with the possessed Lafayette still trying to drown Sookie and he almost succeeds but Bill can feel she is in trouble and despite his whole “you are dead to me” speech he sends Warlow/Ben  out into the day to rescue her.  No real surprise there although Lafayette does survive (after last week I thought the “death that will rock Bon Temps” may have been him with all this going on) but Sookie recovers enough to tell Warlow/Ben not to kill him but to blast him with Fairy Light to dislodge the spirit.  Amazingly this works (I guess this season Fairy light is the equivalent of Duct Tape) and Sookie tells the spirit of her dad to go and never return. He fades off into the trees presumable never to be seen again, well either that or until they come up with some reason he needs to come back.  There was no hoodoo magic to make him stay gone so who knows (and to be honest who cares …. it was an interesting twist but this week I am over it).

Now to the part I have been waiting for ALL Week!! Pam and Eric trapped in the little display room, armed with stakes, supposed to fight each other.  Now as they circle each other like caged beasts (much to the amusement of the stupid Governor) a few little snide comments are made back and forth before they float up Matrix Style, poised and ready to fight.  UGH I am on the edge of my seat at this point just needing to know what is going to happen …. you can cut the tension with a knife!!!! Then with the slightest nod of his head Eric and Pam fly towards each other, and past each other up to the windows where the armed guards are and stake them!! Oh it was brilliant!!! then they drag the bodies down to the room and one of the guards is staked literally right through the window leaving this little stake sizes hole, surrounded in blood, for Eric to look through with one eye and say … “I see you Steve Newlin!!”.  Oh this was the best scene of this episode. Sadly more guards come in to escort the dynamic duo off but oh it was amazing!  Shame it was so near the beginning …. yes readers it is sadly all down hill from here … but there is information that we will need for next week so stay with me and I will keep you as entertained as I can.

Lafayette, Sookie and Warlow/Ben are having a little heart to heart about how messed up it is that this vampire can be out in the sun when Billith decides to “Call”  Warlow/Ben back to the house. Well we all know how well that went for Jessica and soon enough Warlow/Ben is coughing up blood and generally looking unwell but it is Sookie to the rescue.  Instead of submitting to Billith’s demands she grabs Warlow/Ben’s hands and transports him off to Fairy World. Ummmm SAY WHAT????  Yes apparently she can zap herself there whenever it suits her. Hmmm not sure that was in fact the case.  Wonder how long she will be there this year? After all last time a few minutes there turned out to be a year.

When Bill realizes that he can no longer feel Warlow/Ben he goes off to talk to Jessica who of course is not in her room because she is at “Vamp Camp” but Billith hasn’t realized that yet so rushes up to her room to find out how close he came to killing her when he called her to him at the beginning.  When he realizes she is gone he fears the worst and that what he saw in his vision was starting. Of course Bill wants to talk to Lilith but she is not being very forthcoming so he decides he needs to be in a coma.  So he has the still kidnapped scientist drain him to the point of death (by glamouring him with instructions to remove all his blood to the point of the True Death then return it to him 24 hours later) and off Bill goes to dream land to see Lilith (escorted by the 3 pointless naked, blood covered, Lilith wannabees).   Face to face with Lilith Bill in unamused by all the non answers Lilith gives and tries to blame Lilith for everything but as she points out …. he was the one that wanted this and now he can deal with it and she disappears telling him basically the time to act is now but he is on his own to do it! And act he does …. but more on that later!

Jason, meanwhile, is over at the LAVT (Louisiana Vampire Task Force) sign up center so that he can rescue Jessica from said “Vamp Camp”.  His interview is GREAT!! Jason is definitely back to being more like the Jason from earlier seasons that we adored and comes up with my favorite new word for decapitation – beheadenism!!  It is a great way to kill vamps.   Obviously with the tales he can tell and the experience he has the LAVT can’t wait to sign him up and fast track him through to main camp.  Well done Jason your plan seems to be working …. until once there he get’s introduced to Sarah Newlin.  Uh oh …. slight hiccup there but Jason plays it cool and pretends they have never met.  Sarah orders everyone to clear the room so she can spend a couple of minutes alone with the new recruit but where she plans to make him leave Jason points out that if she says one word he will tell EVERYTHING he knows about her and what a “Whore for Christ” she is.  Well that doesn’t go down too well but she keeps her mouth shut.  Oh yes Sarah Newlin is way too smart for that.  Instead she waits for her opportunity and has Jason come to one of the observation rooms to watch a “copulation study”.  Once Jason understands what copulation is he thinks that doesn’t sound too bad apart from the fact there is only one guy vamp standing in the room……until Sarah has them bring out Jessica.  Oh Sarah you really are a bitch.  James (who would have made a lovely Ben/Warlow … hope we see him again ……) won’t do it though as he says he isn’t into rape and Jessica is not willing.  Despite getting hit several times with a nasty UV blaster ray he holds his ground and it is Jessica who eventually tries to tell him it will be OK and they should just get it over with.  But James won’t do it but even after they blast him again and again they realize he won’t do it so have Jessica taken away.

So to the shifters and the wolves … yawn yawn yawn.  I really don’t know what is worse at this point .. the whining Sam storyline with that stupid Nicole tagging along or the Alcide the Asshole pack-master story with him needing someone to smack some reality sense back into him.  Well luckily for me they are all tied up this week and can be summed up easily.  Alcide’s dad did decide to tell him where Sam and Co. were (in between playing with the shifter hooker he picked up from the bar who spends all her time walking around naked and apparently eating chicken).  When Alcide arrives he decides he is unamused by the naked hooker who tells him he is a wolf and to get over it.  Anyway enough of that ….. Alcide goes to the room where Sam had been but they had gone.  Turns out Sam had called Martha and was handing Emma over to her on condition that she leaves the pack forever.  With Alcide the asshole as packmaster Martha agrees and her and Emma take off only moments before Alcide catches up with them and threatens Sam and Nicole.  Yawn Yawn Yawn.  Sam asks what happened to them being friends and Alcide basically backs down and tells Sam to go but he is officially “dead” so not to go back to Bon Temps, Shreveport, anywhere he can be recognized.  Yes well we know that isn’t going to happen.  So that was a whole waste of screen time if you ask me.  I expect next week Sam will head on back to the bar (especially when you read what happens later).

Other random info from this episode that doesn’t really fit in with anything else … Andy finally gives number 4 a name. Actually 4 names so that she can remember her sisters. Adeline, Braylin, Charlaine, Dannika.   A B C D, 1 2 3 4 ….. definitely a recurring thing this season.

Back in Fairy Land Warlow/Ben is worried about the approaching night (even though it is blazing daylight there) as he can feel it approaching back where they came from. So time difference not an issue now? *rolls eyes* More rule changes.  OK So they are there and Warlow/Ben is going to need to feed but instead he tells Sookie to tie him to the tree with some vines.  Oh yes a 5000 year old vampire tied to a tree with vines.  That should work …. or wait …. remember the Duct Tape fairy light power ….. Sookie is going to use that to bind the vines so everything will be OK.  Wonder when she got this 101 things you can use Fairy Light for manual.  It sure is coming in handy!  With Warlow/Ben all tied to the tree we get to hear more about the history, which is a lot of repeated dull stuff we already know, we learn that if Sookie and Warlow/Ben are together they can just feed off each other for eternity …. as long as Sookie becomes a vampire fae like him.  Hmmmmmmmm that is all rather stupid and convenient. But hey not my writing.  At least if she did that she could still sunbathe (which seems to be her main objection to the whole vampire thing).

Back in Bon Temps remember the whole Terry issue from last week? Well Terry turns up on Lafayette’s doorstep to give him a key to his safety deposit box and is acting very strange.  Lafayette realizes something is really wrong and calls Arlene who quickly puts 2 and 2 together and actually manages to make 4.  She knows what Terry is up to and plans to put a stop to it but doesn’t know how.  Holly actually provides the solution by having a vampire that she is friends with come and glamour Terry into forgetting everything that is wrong in his life.  Which is a great plan, but as he forgets the marines and all the bad things he also forgets that he asked someone to kill him when he was not expecting it.  Now my husband Greg came up with a GREAT situation that would have made even Alan Ball dance with glee, but sadly HBO didn’t go that route, but it was brilliant so I am going to share it anyway.  He thought it would be a real twist if when the guy was going to shoot Terry, Arlene got in the way and SHE ended up getting shot instead! And no one would have any idea why.  Now THAT would have been a story.  Instead we get Terry at work all ridiculously happy and loving life the next day, he takes the garbage out and BANG shot through the neck.  Now for a top sniper you would have thought he could have at least gone for a decent head shot and it be done with.  Instead we get time for him to be alive long enough for people to come out and for him to die in Arlene’s arms with her singing him a lullaby.  Quite touching I suppose but honestly as I sad last week I am kinda over the whole Terry story and if this is the loss that shocks Bon Temps … well I can live with that!

Back at Vamp Camp things are starting to get interesting although not enough time was spent there this week.  The Governor is really unhappy about the results of the little “Stake Experiment” and so he has other plans to torture Eric (who is shackles in a cage but still looks intimidating).  They bring in Nora, strapped to a gurney because stupid Steve Newlin has told the governor all about her too. They they inject her with Hep V …. a very very concentrated form of Hep D (yes someone on the script writing team has actually watched the whole show from the beginning) and she is going to be patient zero.  Oh this isn’t good. He wheels Nora right in front of Eric so Eric can watch her die but then as with all great villainous plots he then LEAVES and goes to see Willa who demands to be put in general population.  Yes there is a link there ….. While Willa is talking to Tara Eric “Calls” her and Tara recognizes the signs and help her devise a plan to get to Eric.  The plan actually works and it is Willa to the rescue even managing to keep the lab coat clean for Nora to wear before ripping the arm off the doctor which works to open the doors.  Hilarious!

Remember the more on Bill acting later? Well once he is revived by his scientist pet he sees the news on TV where they are explaining how Governor Burrell has partnered up and will be helping Tru Blood get back on the shelves …… AND at a discounted rate to help the vampire population get back on track and things get back to normal.  Hmmm yes something definitely wrong there!   Bill then  locks said pet in a cage and drinks the remainder of the Warlow/Ben Blood sample and then glows … and now he can walk in the sun.  He walks right out into the daylight and zips off to the Governor.  And now the bit that almost hurts to type …. Bill’s actions are actually funny and rather awesome.  He walks right into the compound with armed guards everywhere and he shows them his fangs, which totally freaks them out because the sun is shining.  So they start firing and Bill just walks on through those wooden bullets, as we know they don’t bother him right now, laughing at the pathetic humans and when he has enough  all the guards stop, guns still shakily raised, Bill has them all point the guns at each other …. and says FIRE and all the guards drop down dead in a little circle.  UGH sadly it really was a great scene to watch.  Even better he then goes right up to the Governor and has a very brief chat before sinking his fangs into his neck … and then RIPPING HIS HEAD RIGHT OFF and placing it on a nearby statue base.  In the words of Russell himself .. FANGTASTIC!!!! (Oh that really hurt to say about a Bill scene ……..guess the truth really does hurt lol)

Inside it is all systems go with Eric dressed as a guard (complete with chipped arm to open the doors) with “Doctor” Nora escorting prisoner Willa around the compound to find Pam and then Willa adds that she wants to find Tara and Jessica too which Eric doesn’t seem to care about but he does agree.  Nora is fading fast as they go from door to door but what they find behind one door suddenly explains why the Governor is keen to start supplying Tru Blood again.  Each bottle is going to come complete with a nice dose of Hep V.  It will be a disaster.  Eric maintains his composure but gives a resounding “Fuck me” as he leaves the room.  Yes this is bad for the vampires on a grand scale.

And so we reach the end and to finish this week we get some naked slutty Sookie (who we learn has the nickname “Danger Whore”.  I will stick with Slutty Sookie) and Warlow/Ben action.  Yes he is still tied to a tree but after re-enforcing the vines with some more fairy light she leans over so he can feed …. and then she returns the favor. Ummmmm WHAT??? Yes she takes a nice bite out of his neck and drinks to (presumably) heal her neck wound (we see it heal) and gather some strength for the sex they are about to have.  Honestly I could have done without this.  It was not really sexy, although credit where it is due for just having had twins Anna’s body looks great!!! I was going to say the scene was rather lack luster but then as it ended with them glowing, literally, as they go at it I guess lack luster probably wasn’t the best term.  We end with the glowing expanding out from them and getting brighter …….

And then the credits roll.  Will this light experiment zap them back to reality? Who knows. Stranger things have happened on this show.  The previews for next week look amazing, with Eric begging Billith to save Nora …. but then the trailers for this week fooled me too.  One this is for sure …. Waiting Sucks … and with only 4 episodes I hate that we are almost at the end already *sigh*.  At least we know there is a Season 7 to look forward to 😀

V””V

 

My Favorite Lines From “Don’t You Feel Me”

• Lafayette – “Let me get this hetro-staight”
• Jason – “Beheadenism”
• Jennie – “Come on we’re werewolves … butch the fuck up!”
• Terry – “There’s No “The Fuck” “
• Eric – “Are You Mad That I Turned Your Daughter Into My Daughter”
• Willa – “Wow I’m Dead And You Are STILL Being Overprotective”
• Eric – “Well Done Baby Vampire”

True Blood Season 6 Ep 1 – “Who Are You Really” Synopsis/Review … MAJOR SPOILERS! V””V

Well my fellow True Blood Fans here we are again …… and here I am again .. and let the spoilers and snarking begin!  For those of you new to the me for the True Blood season let me start with my normal disclaimer …. BLAH BLAH BLAH … my spoiler reviews are long, detailed and opinionated.  I speculate, bitch and generally focus on the points that I want to.   My favorite lines are listed at the bottom (feel free to tell me any you liked that I didn’t use) and sometimes I add in random musings just because!

Still with me? Right there here we go!!  At the end of Season 5 we were left we several cliffhangers (for a full reminder click here), some of which we actually get resolved in the premiere.  Awesome!! So much more gratifying than the whole dragged out stuff … well for me anyway.

At the end of S5 we saw Bill die and dissolve onto to reform from the pile of Goo.  then we saw it from Eric and Sookie’s perspective but S6 starts us with the views through Billith’s eyes.  Eric and Sookie are making a run for it and Billith seems to have gone a little insane and is more interested than tearing through wires and destroying everything than actually chasing them.  Sparks are flying and it obviously isn’t going to be long before the whole building blows up.

Sam, Luna and Emma are escaping in the other direction but remember I said Luna didn’t look too good at the end of S5 … well she dies … or at least we are lead to believe she is dead and Sam runs off with Emma after promising he will keep them safe.  Hmmmmm I don’t know something just felt off about that.  As much as I felt it was her last skin walk when she was Steve Newlin this just felt weird.  Maybe I am reading too much into it … but having a vamp just kick at her and say “it’s dead” seemed a little overkill.  Sam makes it back to Merlottes with Emma where he finds Lafayette waiting and learns that Luna’s transformation has been all over the news.  Lafayette is just awesome. He takes poor Emma off to eat something fried, dipped in sugar, then fried again and promises not to tell anyone he saw them there.

 But I digress from the vamps ….. 

With that chaos continuing in another part of the Authority headquarters we get to see the crazy group of vamps (plus Jason) trying to get past all the guards that don’t quite seem to realize that all the authority members are gone and it is just total anarchy at this point.  The funniest thing though is not Jason (who is still on his I HATE FANGS kick) trying to work with the vamps but rather Pam who is not on board with Nora being in charge.  Seems that she has no idea who Nora …. hmmmm Guess Eric never mentioned he had a sister.  The “rag-tag bag of fuck ups” (Nora’s name for them) manage to escape only to have Pam and Jason want to return for Sookie and Eric but Nora is having none of it.  Luckily for her Eric and Sookie arrive in a van so they can all pile in.  Poor Jessica is missing Bill but as they start to drive off he appears, naked, blood covered, and walking through the flaming remains of the building.  Rather than heading for the van he takes straight up into the sky like a “Naked Evil Superman” (NICE JASON!!)

With the van racing away Nora and Pam just cannot get on and Eric has to pull over so they can sort things out.  Pam lets her feelings known and is in full Pam form with her descriptions of Eric’s annoying sister.  Eric sadly is not in the mood and sends her away where she ends up crying on the beach *sigh* … Stay Feisty Pam!!!   Eric talks to Nora wanting info from the book of Lilith but Nora is as clueless as to what could be going on. Apparently Lilith worshiping didn’t include what to do if a worshiper drinks all the sacred blood and goes off the rails but it does mention Warlow … apparently he is Lilith’s progeny …… Ooooh that can’t be good.  Poor Eric is totally lost with all the Warlow stuff and is a little irritated when Nora points out that even Jason seems to know more than him on the subject.  There is a showdown with Nora, Eric, Tara, Pam and Sookie all against Jason who obviously can’t win so he takes off.

Jessica is freaking out because she still thinks it is “Bill” and doesn’t want him hurt … a fact that should change when Bill starts using his suped up powers to “call” his child back to him.  Eric tries to stop Jessica and it almost ends up killing her.  Literally her heart is nearly ripped from her chest so they have no option other than let her heed his call … and of course Sookie goes with her.  Eric and Nora take to the sky leaving Pam with orders to take Tara to Fangtasia (which Pam is not amused about).

So let’s take a (very) quick break from the vamps to update you on the wolves.  At the end of last season (with the help of some V) Alcide makes pack master.  We get to see them celebrating (and munching on the old packmaster .. Mmmmm yummy *shudders* …. and then as usual there is lots of howling, and growling, and the required getting naked and going for a run.  Alcide seems to be enjoying himself although to me he looks ridiculous. Even worse the only sex scene this week was one with him, his new head bitch, and some other naked wolf chick.  YAWN!!  Ugh werewolf sex just doesn’t work for me.  I want naked vamps!!!

Continuing with the break let’s just cram all the non vamp stuff in here.  Remember Andy and his babies?  Yes well he is not coping so well. Totally overwhelmed by it all he needs a pep talk from Arlene as to how all new parents feel this way and he needs to start helping out.  You get to see how Terry has become very much into a father role (so far from when we first met him … although I kinda miss the old crazy Terry) .. and you think maybe Andy will be able to do this with a little support….. but SURPRISE ….. suddenly after all the baby scenes and Andy laying down for a well deserved nap on the couch you here the pitter patter of little feet running around and then “Hello Daddy” as four walking talking toddler girls are right there.  Wow those Fae babies grow fast.  Not sure where they are going with this but it sure beats the whole watch Andy deal with babies thing.

Staying on the non vamp stuff for just a touch longer, we know from trailers there is going to be a lot of political implications this season and they start this week.  With True Blood being in short supply Governor Burell has taken things into his own hands.  He is basically declaring war against the vamps.  No vampires out after dark, all vampire businesses to be closed down and taken back over by the State, and he urges all people that can to load up with wooden bullets. (Side note … love the touch of people in the crowd with Light Of Day Institute shirts).  Interestingly enough later in the show we see him meeting with Ms Suzuki who is in charge of  the Tru Blood company and offer her the free use of a bottling plant to get Tru Blood up and running again like a government bailout but with no publicity or strings attached. Hmmmm you know that THAT is not going to end well.  He says it is for money but we all know there has to be more than that.  Hmmmm doesn’t that zombie show have an evil governor? (Not really sure as I don’t watch it …. zombies you know … not a fan) … but I guess we will see there this is heading.

Remember Jason took off? Well he ends up getting picked up by Rutger Hauer’s new character who is obviously not quite human but poor Jason is not quite on the ball (although he does get his gun ready).  This new character was originally listed as being Macklin and then he is in the credits as Niall (who book lovers will know is a great-grandfather type fae character) but then when Jason is talking about Warlow he says that no one will be able to keep Warlow from Sookie … who do you think I am … and he vanishes.  Very strange.  Guess we will be waiting for more news on that too but it certainly isn’t going to put Jason any closer to wanting to help the vamps.

Jessica and Sookie make it to Bill’s house where they find Bill looking pretty normal and sitting on a chair on the porch.  Eric and Nora fly down and attack which ends with Eric being held by the throat looking as though Bill is about to kill him when Sookie STAKES BILL!! Yep stake right through the heart and ……. NOTHING.  Bill just looks mildly irritated and pulls it out.  Everyone is completely surprised but no-one (including Bill) seems to have any idea what these new powers are.  Jessica is scared but chooses to stay with Bill rather than leave with Sookie and there are lots of vamps growling at each other before Nora, Eric and Sookie finally leave Jessica and Bill to it.  Kinda bored with the vamps growling and snarling already.  Bit too wolfy for me.

Eric takes Sookie home and after a touching moment where Eric wishes she could be the fun girl in the white dresses he remembers to well writes, in blood, the house back over to her and then with tears the bitch RESCINDS his invitation.  How rude is that!  Outside Nora sees that Eric is in love with Sookie, something that she can’t understand and something that Eric makes quite clear is not up for discussion and neither is involving Sookie!

Pam and Tara make it back to the club and they have an argument because Tara wants to try and take Eric’s place and for just a moment it looks like Tara may have the upper hand.  WHAT??? Oh no just a moment there and Pam is back to her snappy self putting Tara back in her place.  Sadly only just in time for some kind of Swat club to swarm in and take Fangtasia under the governor’s new laws.  Tara tries to fight back but it hit with what seems to be some kind of vamp stun gun? Hmmm guess we will learn what the Green dots mean in the weeks to come.  Over all not looking good for Pam 😦

Back at Bill’s Jessica is in bed and they have a nice maker / progeny chat and we get to see that Bill has a whole bunch of new powers including freezing things in mid air.  Hmmmm he is trying to act as though he is trying to cope with the new powers the best he can but something is definitely off.  I guess we will see where these powers go.  Bill goes downstairs and is sitting reading a book when suddenly he starts getting flashes of visions and then BAM 3 Lilith type creatures in the corners of his room and they all rush inside him …. and it ends ..

UGH ….. and now we wait until next week!!!  I certainly enjoyed the premiere and love that everything other than the vamps had a back seat for the most part and I think we are in for one hell of a ride.  I say BRING IT ON!! 😀

V””V

Favorite Lines From Who Are You Really

• Pam – “Excuse me Bitch Sergent who the HELL are you and why are you telling us what the fuck to do”
• Pam – “Honey I don’t know about the world but I am about to end your face!”
• Pam – “I Hate the beach … fish piss and sand in your cooch”
• Jason – “I am sick of you bloodsuckers brain raping me against my will”
• Eric – “Apparently our siblings don’t get along …. the only reason yours is still alive is out of courtesy to you”
• Arlene – “When you stick Mr Happy inside someone’s hoo ha without a raincoat on babies come out!”
• Lafayette – “Wrong Place At The Wrong Fucking Time Outta Be My Middle Fucking Name”
• Pam – “Honey, this isn’t going to be some epic fucking love story .. you can never replace Eric and you never will”
• Eric – “Nora, My darling Sister …… Don’t stir this pot!”

Kiss The Dead By Laurell K Hamilton – My Review (Warning possible spoilers) V””V

So June 5th was the release of the latest Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Novel (#21) – Kiss the Dead by Laurell K Hamilton and I just could not wait to get my hands on it.

Those of you that know me may be a little surprised to see that I read a series about a “vampire hunter” and I will confess that I was put off by that for the longest time but after hearing so many great things I decided I had to give them a try and I never looked back.

This book was no exception and I read cover to cover without putting it down (something that very few authors can entice me to do).  We had already had a deleted “tease” scene in the form of “Beauty” earlier this year and let me say for all of those looking for true erotica you would, in my opinion, be better off reading those 20 pages than trying to read 50 shades of grey.

In this book Anita continues to try to balance her work with the preternatural police force and her very tumultuous love life. The book starts with a 15-year-old girl who has gone missing and the suspicion that a rogue vampire clan has abducted her.  I was thrilled to see that Anita is finally getting some of the respect she deserves with regard to the police force and that even though some of them may not like her, the people putting themselves of on the line with her at least give her respect and trust in the field.

Anita is a dark, dark, character and has become even more so as the series has unfolded and the experiences she has had to go through and she has started to accept that sometimes there is only the better of two bad choices and although she still struggles with some of the things she has to do, she does them and then struggles afterwards.  She is finally learning to exert some finer control over her “powers” and that actually enables her to save people who would otherwise have been lost.

New characters are introduced and old characters show their flaws, but Anita’s “family” remain as loyal as ever and in her house it really is Lions and Tigers but no bears (yet lol) Oh MY!!!!!

I have read a lot of negative comments as the series has gone on about the way that Laurell chooses to write and all I have to say is that ANYONE with a penchant for the darker side wouldn’t want her writing any other way.  There are so few authors out there that come even close to visualizing the darkness that lives inside my head and personally I await with bated breath for each and every installment she cares to share with us.